Communication Skills - How To Improve Communication Skills - 7 Unique Tips!

Summary

This script delves into the art of effective communication, contrasting 'KISS' with 'KILL' in sales and conversation. It emphasizes efficiency, eliminating filler words, and the power of pauses for emphasis. The key to rich dialogue lies in 'conversational threading,' where sentences can branch into multiple topics, fostering deeper engagement. The script also advises using statements over questions to share personal experiences and build rapport, while suggesting statement types like story, opinion, cold read, and random statements to keep conversations dynamic and interesting.

Takeaways

• 😀 **Efficiency in Speaking**: Keep conversations concise and avoid filler words to maintain quality and efficiency.
• 🎯 **Emphasize with Pauses**: Use pauses effectively to emphasize parts of your message and convey confidence.
• 🔗 **Conversational Threading**: Identify and branch off into multiple topics within a single sentence to keep the conversation flowing.
• 🚫 **Avoid 'Interview Mode'**: Steer clear of asking too many questions consecutively, which can make the conversation one-sided and uncomfortable.
• 🤝 **Build Rapport with Statements**: Share information about yourself using statements rather than questions to foster connection and rapport.
• 📚 **Story and Opinion Statements**: Replace questions with story or opinion statements to share personal experiences and provide multiple conversational threads.
• 🕵️‍♂️ **Cold Read Statements**: Make observations about others as statements to initiate interaction and create opportunities for diverse responses.
• 💭 **Random Statements**: Introduce spontaneous thoughts or observations to add creativity and unpredictability to the conversation.
• 📉 **Avoid Filler Words**: Eliminate words like 'Uhm', 'Like', 'I Guess', 'Well', and 'You Know' as they add no value and can detract from the message.
• 🌟 **Practice Makes Perfect**: Apply the tips and tricks learned to see significant improvements in future conversations through active practice.
• 🗣️ **Diverse Conversation Types**: Utilize a variety of conversation techniques such as humor, storytelling, and deep conversation for a well-rounded communication skill set.

Q & A

What is the main concept being discussed in the script regarding sales techniques?

The script discusses the concept of KISS (Keeping it short and simple) versus KILL (keeping it long and lengthy) in sales techniques, emphasizing the importance of efficiency and brevity in communication for successful sales.

Why are filler words considered detrimental in a conversation according to the script?

Filler words such as 'Uhm,' 'Like,' 'I Guess,' 'Well,' 'Uhhhhh,' and 'You Know' are considered detrimental because they add no value to the conversation and can detract from the message being conveyed.

How does the script suggest improving the quality of a conversation?

The script suggests improving conversation quality by being efficient with speaking, removing filler words, and using pauses to emphasize different parts of the message.

What is 'conversational threading' as mentioned in the script?

Conversational threading is the ability to identify and branch off into different topics within a sentence, which helps to keep the conversation flowing and engaging.

Why is it important to give the other person opportunities to talk about multiple topics during a conversation?

It is important because it prevents the conversation from reaching a dead-end and allows for a more balanced exchange of ideas and information, fostering a deeper connection.

What is the issue with asking too many questions in a conversation as per the script?

Asking too many questions can make the conversation one-sided and uncomfortable, as it demands information from the other person without sharing anything about oneself.

What is the alternative to asking questions suggested in the script to build rapport and connection?

The script suggests using statements instead of questions, which share information about oneself and provide opportunities for the other person to respond and engage with multiple topics.

Can you provide an example of a story opinion statement from the script?

An example of a story opinion statement is sharing a personal experience or opinion about being terrified of the dark as a child, which provides a topic for discussion and reveals personal information.

What is a 'cold read statement' and how is it used in a conversation?

A cold read statement is an observation made about the other person, used to initiate a conversation with someone new. It allows for multiple responses and opportunities for further discussion.

What are 'random statements' and how do they contribute to a conversation?

Random statements are spontaneous thoughts or observations that pop into one's mind. They share personal information, provide multiple topics for branching off, and add creativity and spontaneity to the conversation.

What additional conversation skills does the script mention could be covered in future content?

The script mentions humor, storytelling, and having deep conversations as additional skills that could be explored in future content to further enhance communication abilities.

Outlines

00:00

🗣️ Effective Communication: KISS vs. KILL

This paragraph discusses the importance of being concise in communication, particularly in sales. It contrasts amateur salespeople who 'KILL' sales with their verbosity against professionals who use the KISS principle (Keep It Simple and Straightforward). The speaker emphasizes the value of quality over quantity in conversation, advising to eliminate filler words and to use pauses effectively for emphasis. The concept of conversational threading is introduced as a key to endless and engaging discussions, suggesting that identifying multiple topics within a single sentence can sustain and enrich conversations.

05:01

🤝 Enhancing Conversational Skills

The second paragraph delves into strategies for maintaining engaging conversations. It advises against entering 'Interview Mode' by asking too many questions, which can create a one-sided and uncomfortable dynamic. Instead, the speaker promotes the use of statements over questions to share personal information and build rapport. The paragraph outlines different types of statements, such as story opinion statements, cold reads, and random statements, each serving to provide conversational threads and opportunities for two-way interaction. The speaker also encourages practice as the key to improving conversational abilities and invites viewers to suggest topics for future videos.

Keywords

💡KISS vs. KILL

KISS stands for 'Keeping it Short and Simple,' while KILL stands for 'Keeping it Long and Lengthy.' These acronyms represent two contrasting approaches in sales and communication. In the context of the video, KISS is advocated as the preferred method for effective sales, where a good salesman would 'hit all the important points in the shortest time possible and close the deal.' The video contrasts this with the 'KILL' approach, which is seen as detrimental to sales, as it involves going on about unimportant details and can potentially 'kill' the sale.

💡Efficient Speaking

Efficient speaking refers to the ability to convey information concisely and effectively without unnecessary verbosity. The video emphasizes the importance of being efficient with one's speech in sales and conversations. It suggests that amateur salespeople often fail by being too verbose, while professionals are efficient, hitting the important points quickly. The script provides an example of a conversation about snowboarding, where the speaker initially uses many filler words and later condenses the story, demonstrating the power of efficient speaking.

💡Filler Words

Filler words are common in speech, such as 'Uhm,' 'Like,' 'I Guess,' 'Well,' 'Uhhhhh,' and 'You Know.' They are considered to add no value to the conversation and can detract from the speaker's message. The video advises removing these words to improve the quality of communication. An example from the script illustrates how a conversation about a winter activity can be made more concise and confident by eliminating filler words.

💡Pauses

Pauses are moments of silence intentionally used in speech to emphasize a point or to allow the listener to absorb information. The video suggests that pauses can be powerful tools in communication, allowing for emphasis and reflection. It contrasts the use of filler words with the strategic use of pauses to enhance the effectiveness of a message, as demonstrated in the snowboarding example where pauses are used to highlight the speaker's first time experience and the difficulty they encountered.

💡Conversational Threading

Conversational threading is the ability to identify and explore different topics within a sentence or statement, allowing for a more engaging and dynamic conversation. The video explains that within every sentence, there are multiple topics that can be expanded upon. It uses the example of living in New York City and wanting to move to the suburbs, from which several topics such as visiting New York City, life in the suburbs, one's relationship with nature, and introversion can be explored.

💡Dead-End Conversation

A dead-end conversation is one that has reached a point where no further interesting topics can be discussed, often due to a lack of branching opportunities. The video warns against this by emphasizing the importance of giving the other person opportunities to talk about multiple topics. It suggests that conversational threading can help avoid dead-end conversations by providing multiple avenues for discussion.

💡Statements

Statements in the context of the video refer to declarative sentences that share information about oneself, as opposed to questions that demand information from others. The video advises using statements to build rapport and connection in a conversation. It contrasts questions, which can make a conversation one-sided and uncomfortable, with statements, which provide opportunities for the other person to respond and engage.

💡Story Opinion Statement

A story opinion statement is a type of statement that either tells a small story or expresses an opinion on a topic. The video uses this as a method to replace questions and share personal experiences or viewpoints. An example given is replacing the question 'What are you scared of?' with a story about being terrified of the dark as a child, which not only shares personal information but also provides multiple topics for further discussion.

💡Cold Read Statement

A cold read statement is an observation made about another person, which can be used to initiate or continue a conversation. The video describes it as a guess or assumption about the other person's character or interests. An example provided is guessing that someone looks like a fun person with interesting hobbies, which can lead to various responses and further conversation, unlike a direct question about hobbies.

💡Random Statement

A random statement is an off-the-cuff comment or thought that comes to mind, unrelated to the immediate topic of conversation. The video suggests that these can add creativity and spontaneity to a discussion. Examples given include expressing tiredness of friends talking about sports or wishing to be more carefree like someone observed at a party. These statements can reveal personal feelings and open up various topics for discussion.

💡Practice

Practice is emphasized in the video as a crucial component of improving conversation skills. It suggests that understanding the tips and techniques is valuable, but the real growth in conversational ability comes from applying these lessons in real-life interactions. The video encourages viewers to practice the skills discussed, such as efficient speaking, using pauses, conversational threading, and making statements, to see improvement in their future conversations.

Highlights

The sales concept of KISS vs. KILL emphasizes the importance of brevity and focus in sales pitches.

Amateur salespeople often 'KILL' sales by over-elaborating on unimportant details.

Efficient speaking and quality conversation are key to successful sales.

Removing filler words like 'Uhm', 'Like', and 'You Know' can improve conversation quality.

Comparing two versions of a conversation shows the impact of conciseness and confidence.

Using pauses effectively can emphasize parts of a message and add power to communication.

Conversational threading is a vital skill for branching off into various topics within a sentence.

Identifying multiple topics within a single sentence can prevent conversation dead-ends.

Sharing information about oneself through statements can build rapport and connection.

Using statements over questions can make conversations more engaging and less one-sided.

Story opinion statements can replace questions and provide opportunities for deeper conversation.

Cold read statements are an effective way to initiate conversation with new acquaintances.

Random statements can inject creativity and spontaneity into a conversation.

Humor, storytelling, and deep conversations are additional topics for improving communication skills.

Practicing conversation skills is essential for growth and improvement.

The transcript encourages viewers to comment on which communication skill video they would like to see next.

Transcripts

There's a concept in the sales world called KISS vs. KILL.

Keeping it short and simple versus keeping it long and lengthy.

Amateur salesman would "KILL" the sale by going on and on about unimportant details.

A good salesman on the other hand would hit all of the important points in the shortest

time possible and close the deal.

Tip#1 is to be efficient with your speaking.

Conversation is all about quality.

Try to remove all types of filler words like, "Uhm, Like, I Guess, Well, Uhhhhh, You Know."

These words bring no value to the conversation and they literally mean nothing.

Listen to the following paragraph.

What did you do this winter?

Well, I had an ok time this break.

I went snowboarding for the first time with some of my friends and uhm.... well it's actually

a lot harder than it looked.

Uh...that's about it.

I guess I had fun haha.

Now compare it to this, "What did you do this winter?"

Me and my friends went snowboarding.

It was actually my first time and it was a lot harder than it looked.

Notice how the second version is much shorter, but the information being conveyed is the

exact same.

However it sounds more confident and even more sophisticated.

Don't be afraid to take pauses instead of relying on filler words as a crutch.

Pauses can be powerful and can emphasize different parts of the message.

Here's an example of pauses in action with the same sentence that we mentioned before.

Me and some friends went snowboarding...It was actually my first time but...it was a

lot harder...than it looked.

Tip#2 is to use pauses to emphasize different parts of the message and to deliver more powerful

messages.

The following skill is probably the single most important skill in terms of overall conversation

ability.

If you can master this one skill, you'll be able to have endless conversations with just

about anybody.

Tip#3 is conversational threading.

Within every sentence, there are different topics that you can branch off into.

Let's take a look at the following sentence.

I live in New York City but, I've always wanted to move to the suburbs.

It's because I love nature and I hate being around too many people.

There are four different topics that you can branch off from here.

You can talk about that time you wanted to visit New York City.

You can talk about how you feel living in the suburbs.

You can talk about your relationship with nature, and you can also talk about how you're

also an introvert and how you can relate with their hate with being around too many people.

When a conversation dies it's usually because there are no other topics to talk about that

are interesting.

So when given the opportunity to branch off into different topics, choose one that you

are interested in talking about.

Also keep in mind, that you want to be giving the other person opportunities to talk about

multiple topics as well.

If you don't give them topics to branch off into, the conversation will eventually reach

a dead-end.

Now this skill comes with practice.

The more you try to look for topics to bounce off of, the more you will notice them.

Here's another sentence.

I like going to the gym.

There's a sense of satisfaction I get when I see myself getting better at something.

Now there are three different topics that you can branch off from here.

You can talk about how you like going to the gym.

You can talk about something that satisfies you.

You can also talk about something that you got better at.

Think back to the last time you went on an interview.

When I think of an interview, I think of something that is high tension, nerve-wrecking, and

definitely not something that the average person enjoys going through.

A common mistake that a lot of people make when meeting someone new, is entering what

I like to call "Interview Mode".

They bombard the other person with question after question after question, and this can

be extremely uncomfortable.

The issue with asking too many questions is that it makes the conversation very one sided.

When you ask a question you're not sharing any information about yourself.

All you're doing is demanding information from the other person.

This is where that uncomfortable feeling comes from.

There's a lack of connection that is being built.

You want to be sharing information about yourself as much as possible so that you can build

rapport.

Build a connection.

Tip#4 is to use statements instead of questions.

When you make statements you share information about yourself.

Pay attention to the next time you hang out with your closest friends or buddies.

You'll notice that the majority of the conversation is with statements.

Once in a while a question is thrown in as a natural step in the conversation, but the

large majority will be all statements.

Now there are a lot of different types of statements, and I'll cover the main ones.

We have the story opinion statement.

Basically a statement that tells a small story or shows your opinion on something.

Here is an example of a question.

What are you scared of?

Here is an example of the story statement being used to replace this question.

I used to be terrified of the dark.

When I was a kid, I would sleep with my head under the covers to hide from all the monsters

and ghosts.

Notice how the question shares nothing about yourself.

It doesn't really give the other person a topic to jump to besides answering your question.

So your only really giving them one thing to talk about.

On the other hand, the story statement shares information while it also gives the other

person opportunities to talk about different topics.

You're giving them different things to thread off of.

They can talk about whether or not they're scared of the dark.

They can talk about things they used to do when they were a kid.

And they can even talk about ghost stories.

All of these can be branched off of this statement.

Next up we have the cold read statement.

This is a great way to use statements with someone you just met.

Simple put, it's an observation that you make about the other person.

Instead of saying something like, "Hey, what do you like to do for fun."

You can say something like, "Hey, you look like a fun person.

I bet you have some interesting hobbies."

This is a great trick because the person can respond in three different ways.

Number 1: You're wrong, and they'll correct you.

I'm actually not fun.

I sleep all day.

Number 2: You're wrong but, you'll be asked why you thought so.

"I'm actually not fun but, I'm curious as to why you thought I was.

Number 3: You're correct and a large amount of rapport will be built instantaneously.

I am fun, I love to dance and sing.

How did you know?!?

Each of these ways gives you many more opportunities to branch off into different topics as compared

to the simple question, "What do you do for fun?"

So you're sharing information first, and you're not asking anything from them.

It's up to them to decide how to respond.

And finally we have the random statement.

They're completely random statements that are literally the thoughts that just pop into

your mind.

They can range from anything about; things that are happening around you, or observations,

stories, random thoughts.

There's a whole lot of things that you can talk about.

Here's some examples: I'm tired of my friends all they talk about is sports all day.

Look at that guy, he's having so much fun.

I wish I could be that loose.

I'm thinking about taking a year off from school.

Each of these statements share a lot of information about yourself.

They also provide multiple topics to branch off into.

And finally they bring a sense of creativity and spontaneous-ness to the conversation.

There's three other tips that I could cover but, each one has so much information that

it would literally take me an entire video to cover.

We could talk about humor, which is an extremely complicated way to dance and play with your

words.

We could talk about storytelling, which is essentially telling a captivating and exciting

story that will allow strangers to jump into your world.

Or we could talk about how to have a deep conversation, which is an essential tool to

building long lasting, valuable, relationships.

What I'd like for you guys to do, is to comment below and let me know which video you want

me to work on next.

Now remember conversation is a skill, and just like any skill there is value to learning

it.

But the most growth will be experienced when you actually go out there and you practice

what you've learned.

By applying some of the tips and tricks that we cover today, you'll see a massive improvement

in your future conversations.