How to build resilience as your superpower | Denise Mai | TEDxKerrisdaleWomen

TEDx Talks

19 Jan 202111:54

Summary

TLDRThe speaker recounts her journey of building resilience from a young age, inspired by her mother's refugee experience and her stepdad's hard work. Despite growing up in poverty, she learned to be grateful and independent, working from a young age. Her resilience was further tested and strengthened through challenges, including a real estate contest that she won, leading to a successful career as a top realtor. She emphasizes that resilience is a skill that can be developed and encourages others to change their perspective, choose their response to adversity, and find purpose to overcome challenges and achieve their dreams.

Takeaways

🏠 The speaker's childhood was marked by fear and uncertainty, which helped develop her resilience.
💪 Resilience is defined as the ability to recover from adversity and maintain calm in challenging situations.
🚢 The speaker's mother's experience as a refugee from Vietnam exemplifies resilience through extreme hardship.
🙏 Gratitude is a lesson learned from poverty, appreciating every aspect of life and never taking anything for granted.
👨‍👧 The speaker's stepfather instilled in her a strong work ethic and unconditional love, contributing to her resilience.
👧💼 Starting work at a young age taught the speaker independence, the value of money, and responsibility.
💼 The speaker's experience in the corporate world led her to realize her true calling as an entrepreneur.
🏆 Winning a contest in real estate sales boosted the speaker's confidence and validated her sales abilities.
🔑 Building resilience involves changing one's perspective to see opportunities instead of obstacles.
🛡 Choosing a calm and logical response to difficulties can lead to better outcomes and is a sign of resilience.
🎯 Finding a sense of purpose can be a powerful motivator for resilience, especially when faced with hardships.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the speaker's story?
-The main theme of the speaker's story is building resilience through facing fears and overcoming adversities.
How did the speaker's early childhood experiences contribute to her resilience?
-The speaker's early childhood experiences, such as being left alone at home and growing up in challenging conditions, taught her to face her fears and build confidence, which contributed to her resilience.
What does the speaker believe resilience to be?
-The speaker believes resilience is the capacity to recover from adversity, bounce back from challenging situations, and maintain calm, clarity, and stability during stressful times.
Can you describe the speaker's mother's journey as a refugee?
-The speaker's mother was a refugee from Vietnam who risked her life to escape the country on a boat with her younger sister. They faced numerous challenges, including being raided by pirates twice and being stranded for four days. Tragically, her sister died, but the speaker's mother survived and eventually reached Canada.
How did the speaker's upbringing in Chinatown influence her life perspective?
-Growing up in Chinatown, the speaker learned to be grateful for everything she had, appreciate the value of simple things in life, and never take anything for granted due to her family's experiences with poverty and hardship.
What was the speaker's first job and how did it impact her?
-The speaker's first job was making sandwiches on a conveyor belt at the age of ten. The experience of earning money for the first time instilled in her a desire for independence and a strong work ethic.
How did the speaker's father influence her work ethic and resilience?
-The speaker's father worked six days a week, 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to provide for the family. His resilience and hard work instilled in her a strong work ethic and a deep-rooted resilience.
What was the turning point for the speaker in her career as a realtor?
-The turning point for the speaker in her career as a realtor was winning a contest selling ad space to a newsletter, which boosted her confidence and led her to believe in her ability to sell and succeed in the real estate industry.
What are the three ways the speaker suggests to build resilience?
-The three ways to build resilience suggested by the speaker are: 1) Change your perspective and see opportunities in obstacles, 2) Choose your response in times of difficulty by remaining calm and finding solutions, and 3) Find a sense of purpose that drives you to overcome hardships.
How did the speaker's friend bailing on her before a contest impact her life?
-The speaker's friend bailing on her before a contest initially filled her with doubts and insecurities, but it ultimately provided her with a learning opportunity to face her fears and conquer her doubts, leading to her success in the contest and boosting her confidence.
What is the speaker's message to the audience regarding resilience and achieving dreams?
-The speaker's message is to encourage the audience to build resilience within themselves, to not waste time, and to take action towards their dreams, as resilience can help them overcome adversity and achieve their goals.

Outlines

00:00

😨 Building Resilience from Childhood Fears

The speaker recounts her childhood, where at the age of nine, she was left alone at home, instilling a sense of fear and the beginning of her resilience. She describes her mother's journey as a Vietnamese refugee and the hardships they faced together, which contributed to her strong work ethic and gratitude for life's blessings. This early life experience laid the foundation for her superpower of resilience, defined as the ability to recover from adversity and maintain calm in challenging situations.

05:03

💼 Embracing Independence and Entrepreneurship

The speaker expresses gratitude for her mother's lessons in independence and responsibility, which started with her first job at the age of ten. Despite being an average student, she worked her way through university with minimum wage jobs. A pivotal moment occurred when she won a sales contest, boosting her confidence in her selling abilities. This led her to pursue a career in real estate, where she became a top realtor by 2015. The speaker emphasizes the importance of resilience as a learnable skill and a habit-forming journey that begins in childhood.

10:05

🛡️ Cultivating Resilience Through Perspective, Response, and Purpose

The speaker outlines three ways to build resilience: changing one's perspective to see opportunities instead of obstacles, choosing a calm and logical response to difficulties, and finding a sense of purpose that fuels motivation for success. She shares her personal journey from poverty to success, using her hardships as a driving force to achieve and give back. The speaker encourages the audience to take action on their dreams, emphasizing that resilience can be developed and is essential for overcoming life's adversities.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Resilience

Resilience is the capacity to recover from difficulties and bounce back from adversity. It is a central theme in the video, as the speaker shares her personal journey of building resilience from a young age. The concept is illustrated through her experiences of fear and hardship, and how she learned to face challenges and turn them into opportunities for growth and success.

💡Fear

Fear is a natural response to perceived threats or danger. In the context of the video, the speaker's fear as a child left alone at home is used to highlight the beginning of her journey towards resilience. It shows how she learned to confront and overcome her fears, which is a key aspect of developing resilience.

💡Adaptation

Adaptation refers to the process of adjusting to new conditions or circumstances. The video describes resilience as an adaptation, suggesting that it is a skill that can be learned and developed over time, much like a muscle that is strengthened through exercise. This concept is crucial as it positions resilience as a dynamic and evolving process.

💡Confidence

Confidence is a belief in one's abilities and is closely tied to resilience. The speaker's story illustrates how building confidence was instrumental in her overcoming challenges. It is shown as a byproduct of facing fears and succeeding in various endeavors, such as winning a contest and becoming a successful realtor.

💡Adversity

Adversity refers to difficult or unfortunate circumstances. The video emphasizes the importance of resilience in the face of adversity, as it is through overcoming these challenges that one can grow stronger. The speaker's mother's experience as a refugee and the speaker's own struggles growing up are examples of adversity that they had to overcome.

💡Hardship

Hardship is a state of severe difficulty or distress. The video uses the speaker's background of growing up in challenging conditions to underscore the role of hardship in fostering resilience. It is through enduring and overcoming hardships that the speaker and her mother developed their strong sense of resilience.

💡Independence

Independence is the state of being self-reliant and not depending on others. The video highlights the speaker's early experiences of working at a young age and the lessons it taught her about the value of money and responsibility. These experiences contributed to her development of independence, which is a key component of resilience.

💡Entrepreneur

An entrepreneur is someone who creates a new business, bearing the risks and benefits of the venture. The video mentions the speaker's realization that she was an entrepreneur at heart and her subsequent success in real estate. This illustrates the connection between resilience and the ability to pursue one's dreams and ambitions.

💡Perspective

Perspective refers to a particular way of considering or regarding something. The video suggests that changing one's perspective is a way to build resilience. By reframing challenges as opportunities, one can develop a more positive outlook and a greater capacity to overcome obstacles.

💡Purpose

Purpose is the reason for which something exists or is done. The speaker's sense of purpose, driven by her upbringing and desire to give back to her parents, is presented as a powerful motivator for resilience. It is the underlying drive that helps one to persevere through hardships.

💡Action

Action is the process of doing something. The video concludes with a call to action, urging viewers to make decisions and take steps towards their dreams. It emphasizes that resilience is not just about enduring hardship but also about actively pursuing one's goals and overcoming obstacles through action.

Highlights

The speaker's childhood experience of fear and loneliness helped build her resilience.

Resilience is defined as the capacity to recover from adversity and maintain calm in challenging situations.

The speaker's mother's story of being a refugee from Vietnam and her survival against the odds.

Growing up in poverty taught the speaker to appreciate life's offerings and not take anything for granted.

The influence of her stepdad's hard work and resilience in shaping her own work ethic and values.

The speaker's early work experience at the age of ten, which ignited her desire for independence.

The importance of changing one's perspective to see opportunities in obstacles as a way to build resilience.

Choosing one's response to difficulties as a key factor in determining outcomes.

Finding a sense of purpose as a driving force for resilience, inspired by the speaker's upbringing.

The speaker's journey from an average student to a top realtor, overcoming self-doubt and insecurities.

Resilience as a habit-forming skill that can be strengthened over time.

The analogy of resilience as a muscle that can be exercised and strengthened.

The speaker's challenge to the audience to build their own resilience and not waste time.

The transformative power of one moment, decision, or choice in changing one's life forever.

The encouragement to take action towards one's dreams and not to procrastinate.

The speaker's personal story as an example of building the superpower of resilience from humble beginnings.