What Women Want Men To Know About Sexism | Theresa Vescio | TEDxPSU

Summary

This transcript discusses the unseen impacts of privilege and socialized gender roles, focusing on the ways people often fail to recognize issues like racism, sexism, and heterosexism. The speaker, a scholar and daughter of a lesbian woman, reflects on her own experiences coming out and the unexpected challenges she faced, particularly how subtle acts of sexism and aggression were more pervasive than she anticipated. The presentation explores how socialization, especially around masculinity, contributes to the sexualization of women and the perpetuation of harmful behaviors, urging individuals to become true allies by confronting and challenging these norms.

Takeaways

• 😀 Privilege can obscure the ability to see systemic oppression, such as racism, sexism, and heterosexism.
• 😀 The speaker's personal experience of coming out as a lesbian at 40 revealed the subtle and overt forms of heterosexism and sexism.
• 😀 Men are socialized to reject femininity and, as a result, may react with anger when their masculinity is threatened, which can lead to the sexualization of women.
• 😀 Research suggests that anger in men, especially in response to perceived challenges to their masculinity, is linked to subtle sexualization of women.
• 😀 Sexualization of women is common in media, especially when women succeed in traditionally masculine domains, such as sports or business.
• 😀 The speaker emphasizes the need for women to be respected as colleagues, not just protected as family members.
• 😀 Women often face fear for their personal safety, with many experiencing or knowing someone affected by rape or sexual harassment.
• 😀 Acts of subtle sexualization and aggression are linked to masculinity threats, public discomfort, and increased anger.
• 😀 The normalization of harmful behaviors like 'locker room talk' should be challenged, not accepted as 'boys will be boys.'
• 😀 True allyship involves listening to and supporting the voices of marginalized groups, not just pretending to lead from the outside.
• 😀 Leadership should focus on changing harmful norms within one's own social group, encouraging respect and empathy toward women and other marginalized groups.

Q & A

How does privilege impact an individual's ability to see and understand systemic discrimination?

Privilege often distorts one's vision, making it harder for individuals to recognize systemic issues like racism, sexism, and heterosexism. People with privilege, such as white people, men, and straight individuals, may not see these issues because they are not personally affected by them.

How did the speaker's personal experience with coming out influence her understanding of discrimination?

The speaker's experience of coming out late in life made her realize how much she had missed about discrimination, particularly heterosexism and sexism. She was surprised by her own lack of awareness of the hatred and aggression directed at her as a lesbian woman.

What surprising realizations did the speaker have regarding subtle sexism after coming out?

The speaker was startled by subtle acts of sexism she had previously overlooked, such as sexualizing behavior from colleagues, which seemed well-intentioned at first but was more disturbing in the context of her new identity as a lesbian.

Why do men have trouble recognizing sexism, according to the speaker's analysis?

Men have trouble recognizing sexism due to the way masculinity is socialized in society. The norms of masculinity emphasize traits like power, control, and emotional toughness, making it difficult for men to see or empathize with behaviors that undermine women.

What role does anger play in the way men react to challenges to their masculinity?

When men perceive a threat to their masculinity, they often respond with anger. This emotional shift can lead to the sexualization of women, as a way to reassert their dominance and reaffirm traditional masculine norms.

What was the key finding of the speaker's experiment with male participants and female partners?

The experiment found that men who experienced a threat to their masculinity (such as being outperformed by a woman) exhibited anger, which then led them to engage in subtle sexualization of their female partners, such as dressing them in more revealing clothing.

How does media contribute to the sexualization of women in dominant roles?

The media often sexualizes women in traditionally masculine domains, such as sports or business, by focusing on their appearance or personal lives rather than their accomplishments. For example, female athletes like Ronda Rousey and Serena Williams are often depicted in revealing clothing or sexualized contexts rather than being recognized primarily for their athletic achievements.

What does the speaker suggest about how to be an effective ally in addressing sexism?

The speaker suggests that being an effective ally involves rejecting the normalization of sexist behaviors, such as 'locker room talk,' and challenging these norms within one's own social groups. Allies should aim to be respected, listen to, and support women in a way that empowers them, rather than assuming a paternalistic role.

How do men’s reactions to challenges to their masculinity affect their views on sexual harassment and rape?

Men who feel their masculinity is threatened are more likely to adopt harmful views, such as denying the seriousness of rape or sexual harassment. This is linked to increased aggression and a diminished sense of empathy toward women.

What does the speaker mean by 'locker room talk' and why is it important to challenge it?

'Locker room talk' refers to the casual, often demeaning conversations about women that perpetuate sexism. The speaker stresses the importance of challenging this behavior rather than normalizing it, as it supports harmful stereotypes and encourages sexual objectification of women.