Female Psychology - How Women Perceive Value

Summary

The video script challenges the common misconception that value is a fixed trait, instead proposing it as a dynamic trajectory. It emphasizes that societal perceptions of value, such as wealth or physical attractiveness, are limited and can be overshadowed by a person's mentality and growth. The speaker encourages viewers to embrace a mentality of continuous self-improvement and value addition, arguing that this approach leads to a more fulfilling and successful life, particularly in relationships. The script also addresses common behaviors stemming from a 'low value' mentality, such as fear of rejection and inaction, and offers a more positive outlook on life and interactions.

Takeaways

• 💭 The common perception of 'value' is often associated with material possessions and status symbols, whereas 'low value' is linked to failure or rejection.
• 🔄 The speaker argues that value is not a fixed point but a trajectory, reflecting the direction of one's personal growth and interactions.
• 🤔 People often assume others have a complete understanding of them, similar to how they perceive themselves, which is not the case.
• 🧐 When meeting someone new, they typically start with an 'average' perception of you, which can be adjusted based on your behavior and interactions.
• 🚀 To stand out, one must actively add value to interactions and to the other person's life, rather than just avoiding mistakes.
• 💰 While material things like money and looks can add value, they are limited and do not grow over time like the experiences you create with someone.
• 🔑 The speaker emphasizes that the value of a relationship is in the shared history and positive experiences, which can make it difficult for new people to 'trade up'.
• 🛑 Many people operate with a 'fixed value' mentality, which can lead to behaviors like avoiding risks and hesitating to express themselves authentically.
• 💪 The speaker encourages embracing a growth mindset, being your best self, and focusing on adding value to interactions rather than avoiding mistakes.
• ⚔️ Girls often respond more to the trajectory of an interaction and the potential for growth rather than just the current state of the interaction.
• 🌟 The speaker suggests that working on personal dreams and goals, and expressing oneself authentically, can make one a more exciting and valuable person to be around.

Q & A

What is the common misconception about 'value' according to the script?

The common misconception is that value is a fixed point, something you either have or don't have, rather than a dynamic trajectory or direction of movement.

Why do people often overestimate the importance of their appearance or mistakes in social interactions?

People tend to overestimate because they assume others are paying as much attention to them as they are to themselves, which is usually not the case.

What does the script suggest is the initial assumption people make about strangers?

People tend to assume strangers are average until proven otherwise, basing this assumption on their experiences with typical individuals they've met.

How does the script define 'adding value' to an interaction with a girl?

'Adding value' refers to proactively contributing positively to the interaction and the girl's life, beyond just avoiding mistakes or being average.

What is the difference between 'fixed point value' and 'infinite value' as discussed in the script?

Fixed point value refers to static qualities like wealth or physical appearance, which have a cap. Infinite value, on the other hand, refers to the limitless positive experiences and growth that can be shared in a relationship.

What psychological phenomenon does the script mention that affects how people perceive value?

The script mentions 'confirmation bias', where once a girl sees a guy as high value, even minor actions are viewed through that high-value filter and thus seem more valuable.

Why is having a shared history of positive experiences important in a relationship according to the script?

A shared history of positive experiences creates a strong bond and makes it harder for a girl to leave her boyfriend for someone else, even if the new person is better on paper.

What behaviors does the script suggest stem from a 'low value fixed point mentality'?

Behaviors such as hesitance, shyness, not expressing oneself, avoiding approaching girls, and self-sabotaging actions like getting a girl's number but never contacting her can stem from this mentality.

What should a person's approach be when interacting with a girl, as per the script?

The approach should be to be one's best self, taking risks, being confident, and expressing one's unique personality and experiences to create a deeper connection.

What does the script advise for personal growth when not interacting with others?

The script advises working on one's dreams and goals to increase personal value, which in turn makes one a more exciting person to be around and offers more to others.

How should one view their interactions according to the script?

One should view interactions as opportunities for growth and adding value, rather than as tests to be passed by avoiding mistakes, with the understanding that the potential for positive impact is limitless.

Outlines

00:00

💭 The Misunderstood Concept of Value

This paragraph discusses the common misconceptions about value, particularly in the context of social interactions and dating. It challenges the notion that value is a fixed attribute, suggesting instead that it is a dynamic 'trajectory'. The speaker emphasizes that people often overestimate how much others notice their flaws, drawing a parallel to the common experience of being self-conscious about minor issues like a bad hair day. The key message is that value is not static but evolves based on the experiences and interactions one has with others, and it's not solely about material possessions or superficial achievements.

05:01

🚀 Embracing Growth and Rejecting the Fixed Value Mentality

The second paragraph delves into the consequences of perceiving value as a fixed point, which can lead to self-sabotaging behaviors and a fear of rejection. It encourages individuals to embrace a growth mindset, to be their authentic selves, and to continuously add value to their interactions. The speaker argues that being proactive and taking risks are more attractive than playing it safe and avoiding mistakes. The paragraph also touches on the idea that ambition and the journey of self-improvement can be more appealing than simply being wealthy. The speaker concludes by advocating for a positive outlook on life, where the focus is on creating opportunities for success rather than avoiding failure.

Keywords

💡Value

In the context of the video, 'value' refers to the perceived worth or attractiveness an individual has in social interactions, particularly in dating. It is not just about material possessions or physical appearance but also encompasses personal qualities and experiences shared with others. The script emphasizes that value is dynamic and can grow over time through positive interactions and shared experiences.

💡Mentality

The term 'mentality' in the video script refers to the mindset or perspective one has towards oneself and one's interactions with others. It is highlighted that a fixed-point mentality, where one believes their value is unchangeable, can be detrimental. Instead, the video promotes a growth mentality, where one sees value as something that can be developed and improved over time.

💡Low Value

'Low value' in the script is associated with behaviors or situations that are perceived as failures or rejections, such as embarrassment or not being successful in social interactions. The video suggests that people often misinterpret low value as being solely about external judgments, whereas it can also stem from one's own self-perception and behavior.

💡High Value

Contrasting with 'low value,' 'high value' is depicted as a state of being where an individual is seen as desirable or attractive due to their qualities, actions, and the experiences they provide to others. The video script explains that high value is not just about material wealth or physical attributes but also about the positive trajectory of one's personal growth and interactions.

💡Trajectory

'Trajectory' in the video is used to describe the direction and progress of an individual's personal development and social interactions. It is a key concept that emphasizes the idea that one's value is not static but can increase over time through continuous self-improvement and creating positive experiences with others.

💡Confirmation Bias

The script mentions 'confirmation bias' as a psychological phenomenon where people tend to interpret new information in a way that confirms their preexisting beliefs. In the context of dating, once a girl perceives a guy as high value, her interpretation of his actions is often skewed to see even more high-value behaviors, reinforcing the perception of his value.

💡Self-Improvement

Self-improvement is a central theme in the video, referring to the ongoing process of bettering oneself in various aspects, such as personal growth, career, and social skills. The script suggests that being on a trajectory of self-improvement is attractive and can significantly increase one's value in the eyes of others.

💡Shared History

'Shared history' in the video script refers to the collection of experiences and memories that two people accumulate together over time. It is posited that a strong shared history of positive experiences can create a deep bond and increase the perceived value of a relationship, making it more resistant to external attractions.

💡Risk-Taking

The concept of 'risk-taking' is introduced in the video as an essential part of personal growth and increasing one's value. It is suggested that taking risks, such as expressing oneself authentically or pursuing one's ambitions, can lead to more meaningful connections and a more fulfilling life.

💡Self-Sabotage

'Self-sabotage' in the script refers to behaviors that individuals engage in that undermine their own success or happiness, often stemming from fear of failure or rejection. Examples from the script include not contacting a girl after getting her number for fear of ruining the initial impression, which actually leads to missed opportunities.

💡Personality Expression

The video emphasizes the importance of 'personality expression' as a means to create value and connection with others. It suggests that being genuine, confident, and open in expressing one's thoughts, feelings, and experiences can lead to deeper and more meaningful relationships.

Highlights

Value is not a fixed point but a trajectory, reflecting the direction of movement in a relationship.

Society and advertising often perpetuate the myth that value is static and inherent.

People tend to overestimate how much others notice or judge their mistakes.

When meeting someone new, they usually start with the assumption of average value until proven otherwise.

Girls encounter many men but engage with only a small fraction, thus average is not enough to stand out.

Material things like money can add value but have a cap, unlike experiences which can continually increase in value.

Confirmation bias in human psychology can amplify perceived value over time.

A relationship is fundamentally a shared history of positive experiences.

Many men approach interactions with a fear of making mistakes, which can hinder authenticity.

Girls often respond more to the trajectory of an interaction rather than its current state.

Ambition and growth can be more attractive than static wealth or success.

Being your best self involves taking risks and expressing your true personality.

Working on personal dreams and goals increases your value and attractiveness.

Actively sharing and creating value leads to deeper connections.

The mentality of seeing life as an opportunity to excel rather than to avoid mistakes fosters success.

An upcoming event, the Value Masterclass, promises to delve deeper into understanding and conveying value.

Transcripts

when I say value what's the first image

that comes to your mind is it chiseled

ABS stacks of money and vacations in the

South of France fast cars something like

that

that's quite likely what a lot of people

would think if I say the phrase low

value what do people think they think

maybe like doing something embarrassing

failing at something maybe even someone

laughing at you something along those

lines and there is some validity to this

because each of those high value things

are symbols of value in a certain level

and you should those low value things

are actually symbols of sort of failure

or rejection which do convey a certain

amount of low value but I'm gonna go out

on a limb here I'm gonna say the single

biggest thing keeping you from being

high value has nothing to do with any of

those images we just discussed it has to

do with your mentality of what value

it's see most guys have a mentality and

this is a mentality they've learned from

society from advertising even from

people who have tried to teach them

success with women there's a mentality

that value is a fixed point you either

have value or you don't have value and

that's it all right it's a static thing

what value actually is is a trajectory

it's the direction things are moving

with you and the girl but most guys

think about value I think they take the

impression that the girl knows somehow

everything about them because they

themselves know everything about

themselves do you ever have that

phenomenon where like there's something

a little off with your hair and it's

really annoying you and you're like you

know the whole world has to be seeing it

the whole world has to know you're

having a bad hair day and then if you

ask anybody else they think your hair

looks exactly the same as it did every

other day because they're not paying as

much attention to you and they're not

aware of every little thing going on in

your head and they don't know every

single fact and every little bit of

truth about you right they're

discovering it and you're honestly not

their biggest focus so you think every

little mistake you make is being seen

and judged and most of them are probably

being overlooked you also think that

your people's opinion of you isn't going

to grow because your opinion of yourself

isn't gonna grow that fast

you already know basically everything

about yourself the truth is very

different the truth is when you meet

someone they know almost nothing about

you and so their view of you is largely

going to be shaped by their view of the

typical person right they're looking at

average of people they've met they're

saying here's a stranger I'm gonna

assume he's average and so proven

otherwise now if you seem a little more

confident you might be a little notch

above that average if you're

well-dressed you might be a notch above

that average but it's hard to be too far

away from that average because they've

gotten this much information from you

and this much information from the world

right so they're gonna assume that until

proven otherwise

and as you spend time with someone

that's going to change as I spend time

with you they're gonna either see you as

lower value or they're gonna see you as

higher value now let's talk about girls

girls meet hundreds thousands millions

of guys in their lifetime

right and they sleep with a tiny

fraction of them they date a tiny

fraction of those guys so when you meet

a girl just being average just not

making huge mistakes isn't gonna cut it

you need to be proactively adding value

to the interaction and adding value to

her life and that's actually where that

first range of things money AB south of

France etc does have some value because

that's one way that you can bring value

to her life but that's a very sort of

fixed point value that's very like oh he

is in shape oh he does have money

all right that's a very fixed points and

that is capped there is a cap to that

but the thing that's not fixed the thing

that constantly can be increasing is the

experience that the girl has had with

you and that's where your value actually

becomes infinite because there is no

shortage of positive experiences you can

have with a girl there is no shortage of

ways that you can bring value to her

life over time now what actually happens

is there's a thing in kind of human

psychology that's called confirmation

bias which is once a girl has

established you as a high value guy

things that wouldn't have even been a

very high value because it's being seen

through that filter are viewed as more

high value and it's actually like a

continuous feedback loop where it's a

high value guy doing a thing is actually

even more high value than it would have

been in the first place in your value

goes up and up and up and that's

actually what a relationship even is is

a shared history with a girl or it's a

shared history of positive experiences

that's why a girl will stay with her

boyfriend as opposed to going with every

single hot guy she meets now if another

guy is way way way way way better within

her boyfriend and very importantly gets

enough time with her to convey that fact

so she can actually see it there's a

chance

that she will quote unquote sort of

trade up right but because the boyfriend

all has all that shared history all that

shared experience all that value offered

over time and all that kind of shared

growth and perception and positive

trajectory it is actually quite a bit

harder for a stranger coming in than for

her existing boyfriend so that's

fundamentally what a relationship is now

a lot of guys they go around thinking

that their value is fixed and they end

up interacting with girls in a way

that's essentially walking on eggshells

it's essentially trying to not make

mistakes and what happens they're

hesitant they're shy they don't express

themselves quite possibly they don't

even approach the girl in the first

place because they're so worried about

messing it up it also leads to silly

behaviors like girls guys would like get

a girl's phone number and never even

call or never even text because they

they think they did a good job in the

initial interaction they don't want to

mess it up later so there's all these

silly self sabotaging behaviors that

will come out of being scared being shy

even not approaching a girl in the first

place even not you know if it's online

not even winking or messaging at a girl

in the first place because you're afraid

of rejection all those types of things

are coming out of this low value fixed

point mentality what you actually should

be thinking when you're with a girl is

your job is to just be your best self

and constantly add value to the

interaction because you're going in at

average and that's not going to cut it

but every little positive thing you can

do is growing it and it's building this

positive feedback loop between you and

the girl and I know when I first started

this journey of getting good with girls

I had that first mentality of not making

mistakes and what ended up happening is

I was trying so hard not to make

mistakes that every single interaction

would be awkward and it would

essentially be a big mistake right and

over time with each interaction the

girls attraction to me would go less and

less and less and things didn't go very

well

here's a weird question for you would a

girl rather date a guy who is rich or a

guy who's ambitious and pushing and and

exciting and taking her on this journey

toward success that's a shared journey

right there are some girls that you know

they just have this very like almost

gold digger mentality and they would

just say the rich guy but a lot of girls

would actually prefer the guy who's on

this trajectory of self-improvement and

growth and she can see where it's going

and girls respond something I say a lot

girls respond not to how the interaction

is right now but to how the interaction

is going so

if things are getting better and better

and better the more time she's spending

with you she can see that trajectory and

she sees where it's going where as if

she sees a guy that has a good resume

she thinks it's good and then she ends

up being bored with him or he's not

really progressing in life she actually

can get turned off by that so the whole

thing that you're trying to do is spend

time being your best self with a girl

and your best self is not walking around

on eggshells trying not to make mistakes

your best self is taking risks your best

self is being confident your best self

is putting your best aspects of your

personality on the line it's being the

person you are when you're comfortable

with your friends and you're just

expressing the value you have because

every single experience you have had in

life is unique to the girl she's never

had that that's something you can share

with her all your hopes and your dreams

are unique to the girl and you

expressing that is something you can

share every opinion you have is a new

bit of information for the girl but if

you're holding back being silent not

sharing it she has no way of knowing

you're not just another lame boring

average guy so with this mentality what

should you be doing well first of all

when there are no girls around when

there's nobody around you should be

working on your dreams your goals

increasing your own value right you

should be working towards who you view

yourself as and who you really want to

be one because that's gonna give you

more ways to offer value to someone else

and two that's gonna make you a more

exciting person for that person to be

around that's gonna make the experience

of you more inherently valuable when you

are actually in the presence of someone

whether it be actually a woman or anyone

alright what you want to do is you want

to be actively sharing actively putting

yourself out there and creating value

you want to be of the belief that if you

are just spewing yourself into the world

which sounds weird right you're just

putting your personality out into the

world that it's gonna be on a percentage

basis way more high value than low value

so the amount of interaction they have

with you the volume of your personality

they've experienced is creating a deeper

and better connection and this will be

true not for everybody there will be

some people that just fundamentally you

don't get along with but for people who

you do get along with the more of you

there is the more of you there is to get

along with the more they've experienced

of your personality the deeper that

connection is going to be and also allow

them to share with you their personality

because that's part of the positive

experience for them as well so

rather than walking on eggshells and

trying to avoid mistakes think of game

as a test where instead of capped at a

hundred it's capped at infinity and you

can get as many questions you want wrong

as long as you're getting way more right

and getting way more extra credit than

the points you're losing that's the

mentality you want to have towards game

and honestly the mentality you want to

have towards life if you want to have

above-average success if you just want

to get by at the average you can walk

around trying to not make mistakes but

if you want to do something

extraordinary

you have to take some risks and you have

to put yourself out there and put

yourself on the line and the people that

are right for you the situations that

are right for you they're gonna

appreciate that and that's gonna create

a deeper bigger and better connection

than you ever could by holding yourself

back I hope you liked the video and I

hope it helps you to see the world as an

opportunity to excel rather than an

opportunity to avoid mistakes because

that's a much more positive outlook and

one that's gonna help you if you want to

learn much more about value I am doing

an event in a couple weeks called value

masterclass you can check it out at the

link below I'm gonna talk about what

value is specifically how to convey it

how to become it basically I'm gonna go

deeper on value than I ever have so

check it out it's gonna be pretty epic

hopefully I'll see you there