Giving Critical Feedback | Simon Sinek

Summary

The video script discusses the importance of fostering a culture where feedback is given not to criticize, but to promote personal growth. It emphasizes the need to establish an environment where difficult conversations and critical feedback are welcomed and understood. The speaker suggests a human-centered approach to giving feedback, starting with care and concern for the individual's growth, rather than immediately pointing out mistakes. By doing so, it creates a more receptive atmosphere for the recipient to listen and understand the feedback, ultimately leading to better communication and personal development.

Takeaways

• 🌟 Creating a culture of feedback: The speaker emphasizes the importance of establishing a culture where feedback is given to help individuals grow rather than to criticize them.
• 🤝 Difficult conversations welcomed: It's crucial to foster an environment where difficult conversations and critical feedback are not only welcomed but also understood as part of growth.
• 📝 The approach to giving feedback: The script suggests that feedback should not start with pointing out mistakes but should begin with a human connection, showing care and concern for the individual's growth.
• 👥 Focusing on the person, not the problem: The feedback process should prioritize the person, addressing them with empathy and a genuine desire to help them improve, rather than just focusing on the issue at hand.
• 🔍 Starting with care: Feedback should be initiated by expressing care and concern, and then bringing up evidence or issues that need to be addressed.
• 🗣️ Addressing communication style: An example is given where the speaker points out a harsh communication style with teammates, suggesting it's important to address such behaviors to improve team dynamics.
• 🤔 Encouraging self-awareness: By giving feedback, individuals are prompted to reflect on their actions, which can lead to increased self-awareness and personal growth.
• 🚫 Avoiding negative commands: Instead of commanding someone to stop a certain behavior, it's more effective to discuss the behavior's impact and explore the reasons behind it.
• 👂 Listening for understanding: Feedback should be given in a way that encourages the recipient to listen and understand, rather than just hearing the message.
• 💬 The importance of being heard: The script highlights that it's not enough to give feedback; it's also essential that the recipient truly hears and processes the feedback.

Q & A

What is the primary purpose of giving feedback according to the speaker?

The primary purpose of giving feedback is to help individuals grow as human beings, not to criticize them.

How does the speaker suggest establishing a culture for feedback within a team?

The speaker suggests establishing a culture where difficult conversations and critical feedback are welcomed or at least understood.

What is the usual method of giving feedback that the speaker criticizes?

The speaker criticizes the usual method of giving feedback by pulling out a piece of paper and pointing out what's wrong, which can come across as overly critical.

How should feedback be given according to the speaker's preferred approach?

Feedback should be given by starting with the human being involved, expressing care and concern, and then presenting evidence that suggests there might be an issue.

What is the speaker's suggestion for addressing a teammate's harsh communication?

The speaker suggests addressing the issue by expressing care and concern, mentioning the observed behavior, and asking if the teammate is aware of it, rather than directly accusing them.

Why is it important to understand the reasons behind a person's behavior before giving feedback?

Understanding the reasons behind a person's behavior is important because it allows for a more empathetic and constructive conversation, which can lead to better outcomes.

What is the main difference between the speaker's approach to feedback and the traditional approach?

The main difference is that the speaker's approach focuses on starting with a human connection and care, while the traditional approach tends to start with pointing out faults and evidence.

How does the speaker believe feedback should be structured to be most effective?

The speaker believes feedback should be structured to create a condition where the person is more likely to listen and hear it, by showing care and concern before presenting evidence.

What is the potential outcome when feedback is given without understanding the person's perspective?

The potential outcome is that the person may not receive the feedback well, as it can come across as harsh and unempathetic, leading to resistance or defensiveness.

How does the speaker differentiate between giving feedback and ensuring it is heard?

The speaker differentiates by stating that giving feedback is not just about conveying the point, but also about creating conditions where the recipient is more likely to listen and understand the feedback.

What is the speaker's view on the importance of creating a culture that supports growth through feedback?

The speaker views it as crucial to create a culture where feedback is seen as a tool for growth and development, rather than as a form of criticism.

Outlines

00:00

🌱 Fostering a Growth-Oriented Feedback Culture

The speaker emphasizes the importance of establishing a culture where feedback is given not to criticize but to promote personal growth. They suggest that feedback should be a welcomed part of the culture, and it should be delivered in a way that is considerate and caring. The speaker contrasts the common approach of pointing out mistakes first with a more empathetic method that starts with a genuine concern for the individual's growth. They provide an example of how to address a teammate's harsh communication by expressing care and concern, rather than simply reprimanding them. The summary highlights the need for feedback to be constructive and to create an environment where it is more likely to be received positively.

Keywords

💡Culture

Culture, in this context, refers to the shared values, norms, and practices that characterize a group or an organization. It is central to the video's theme as it emphasizes the importance of establishing a culture where feedback is not seen as criticism but as a means to help individuals grow. The script mentions creating a culture where 'difficult conversations and critical feedback are welcomed or at least understood,' illustrating the significance of a supportive and growth-oriented environment.

💡Feedback

Feedback is a crucial concept in the video, defined as the process of providing information or reactions to someone's performance or behavior. It is linked to the main theme by highlighting that feedback should be constructive and aimed at personal growth rather than criticism. The speaker discusses the importance of giving feedback in a way that is likely to be received positively, such as starting with a personal concern rather than pointing out mistakes.

💡Growth

Growth is a key term that signifies personal development and improvement. It is integral to the video's message, which advocates for a culture where feedback is given to facilitate growth. The script mentions that the reason for giving feedback is 'to help them grow as human beings,' suggesting that the ultimate goal is to foster a sense of continuous learning and self-improvement.

💡Difficult Conversations

Difficult Conversations refer to discussions that involve sensitive or challenging topics. In the video, it is mentioned as a part of the culture where such conversations and critical feedback are not only welcomed but also necessary for personal and professional development. The script implies that creating an environment where difficult conversations are the norm can lead to more open and honest communication.

💡Critical Feedback

Critical Feedback is a type of feedback that points out areas needing improvement or issues that have arisen. The video emphasizes that critical feedback should be understood as a tool for growth, not as a personal attack. The speaker advises against pointing to the evidence of mistakes first, but rather starting with a human connection to make the feedback more palatable.

💡Evidence

Evidence, in this context, refers to facts or information indicating whether a belief or proposition is true or valid. The video script uses the term to contrast two approaches of giving feedback: one that starts with pointing out the evidence of an issue versus one that begins with a personal connection. The speaker suggests that starting with evidence can be less effective than starting with a human-centric approach.

💡Human Being

Human Being is a term used in the script to emphasize the importance of focusing on the person receiving feedback, rather than solely on their actions or mistakes. The video's theme is about creating a culture of growth, and the term is used to illustrate that feedback should be given with care and consideration for the individual's feelings and personal development.

💡Opportunities

Opportunities, in the script, refer to the potential for improvement or development that can arise from addressing issues or challenges. The video suggests that when feedback is given with the right approach, it can help identify opportunities for growth. For example, the speaker mentions wanting to 'address them with them to see what opportunities there are' when discussing issues with an individual.

💡Awareness

Awareness is the state or condition of being conscious of something. In the video, it is important for individuals to be aware of their actions and how they may impact others. The speaker mentions that sometimes people are not aware of their behavior, such as 'beating up on people,' and that feedback can help raise this awareness, leading to positive change.

💡Communication

Communication is the process of exchanging information, ideas, or feelings. The video's theme revolves around effective communication, particularly when giving feedback. The script discusses the importance of how feedback is communicated, suggesting that starting with a personal concern rather than evidence of wrongdoing can lead to more receptive and effective communication.

Highlights

Creating a culture where feedback is given for growth, not criticism.

Establishing a culture where difficult conversations and critical feedback are welcomed.

Giving feedback by starting with the person, not pointing out what's wrong first.

Sharing feedback with care and concern for the person's growth.

Addressing issues with the person to explore opportunities and understand reasons behind their actions.

Using specific examples to provide feedback constructively.

Encouraging self-awareness and reflection through feedback.

Avoiding negative feedback delivery that can demotivate and alienate people.

Creating a condition where feedback is more likely to be heard and understood.

Feedback should be about helping the person grow, not just pointing out faults.

Difficult conversations are a part of creating a culture of growth.

Feedback should be given with empathy and understanding.

Starting feedback with the person's perspective can lead to better outcomes.

Feedback should be an opportunity for growth and learning, not just criticism.

The way feedback is delivered can greatly affect how it is received.

It's important to consider the person's feelings and reactions when giving feedback.

Feedback should be a two-way conversation, not a one-sided lecture.

Understanding the reasons behind someone's actions can lead to more effective feedback.

Feedback should aim to improve relationships and teamwork, not just individual performance.

The goal of feedback is to foster growth and development, not just to correct mistakes.

Transcripts

so

one of the things that um we we do is um

is

is we it's creating a culture in which

people understand that the reason we're

giving feedback is not to quote unquote

criticize them but to help them grow as

human beings um and that has to be a

that has to be established like this

this is what we're gonna the advice i i

offer is it's not just a checklist that

you do and everything goes fine you know

you create a culture in which

uh difficult conversations and uh and

and critical feedback are welcomed or at

least understood um but it's also how we

give it um usually we give it by pulling

out a piece of paper and pointing out

the thing that's wrong

um and you know and saying you've got to

fix something right we usually point to

the evidence first

um as opposed to starting by with by by

the human being which is you know

there's stuff i want to share with you i

don't know where what it means but i

wanted to raise it with you in case

there is an issue

um because i care about you and i want

to see that you grow here but there's

some evidence that things are going a

little sideways and i want to i want to

address them with them to see what

opportunities there are or if there's

anything wrong because i don't know the

reasons behind it but um here's

for example um the way you talked to

your teammates the other day was a

little harsh and ordinarily i'd be one

say oh you know you're having a bad day

it's no problem you know everybody gets

uh everybody gets a bad day but you've

been really beating up on people

um i don't even know if you're aware of

that

right um

and sometimes they say i'm having a hard

time and it opens up or they'll say i

wasn't even aware i didn't even know or

it reveals something as opposed to

saying stop yelling at people nobody

wants to work for you if all you do is

yell at people you know it's hard for

people to receive and so good feedback

is not just about conveying the point

we're trying to make it's about creating

a condition in which the person is more

likely to listen and hear it

so we're all proud of ourselves once

we've told them we did you did you give

her the feedback yeah i told her right

did they hear the feedback

uh different question