The Truth About Dating in Your 30s & 40s

Summary

The speaker addresses the common concern of whether it's too late to start practicing day game at the age of 35. He reassures that age is not a barrier and emphasizes that every step in improving one's social skills leads to a better life. He shares his personal experience, noting that even at 41, he is more successful in dating than ever before. The speaker encourages taking action now, highlighting that the journey itself is rewarding and that progress in social skills can be rapid with dedication. He also points out that starting later in life can come with certain advantages, such as greater financial stability and life experience.

Takeaways

• 😀 Starting 'day game' at 35 is not too late; it's about personal growth and improvement, not just about age.
• 🐶 The saying 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks' is a myth; it's possible to learn and change habits at any age, though it might take more time.
• 💡 The fear of running out of time or not being 'good enough' by a certain age is unfounded; improvement in social skills can happen at any stage of life.
• 🎯 The speaker, at 41, is dating more attractive and eligible partners now than in his 20s or 30s, suggesting that age is not a barrier to a fulfilling social life.
• 🚀 Early progress in 'game' can lead to significant life improvements, such as better motivation, fewer excuses, and more creative problem-solving.
• 🌱 Even if it takes until 40 to become advanced, the journey itself brings substantial benefits, including increased confidence and social skills.
• 📈 The speaker emphasizes that 'game' is not binary; there are many levels of proficiency, each bringing its own set of benefits and life improvements.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Comparing 'game' to fitness, it's never too late to start and every step towards improvement enhances one's life, regardless of the final level achieved.
• 💼 Starting 'game' later in life may have advantages, such as being more established in one's career and having more life experience to offer.
• 🔍 The speaker advises that if you're 35 and considering starting 'game,' you should do so with the understanding that the journey will be beneficial regardless of the time it takes to master it.
• 🚀 A dedicated beginner can expect to reach an intermediate level within a year, capable of forming relationships with desirable partners, with the journey itself being rewarding.

Q & A

Is it too late to start practicing day game at the age of 35?

No, it's not too late. The speaker emphasizes that every step of progress in day game improves life, and significant changes can be seen even within the first few months of starting.

What is the speaker's perspective on the idea that older people find it harder to change their habits?

The speaker agrees that it might take longer for older individuals to change ingrained habits, but it is still possible. They use the analogy of teaching an old dog new tricks to illustrate this point.

What does the speaker suggest about the concern of running out of time to get good at day game?

The speaker questions the concern, pointing out that even if someone becomes good at day game at 39 or 40, it's not a problem as there's plenty of social life beyond that age.

What is the speaker's view on the benefits of starting day game, even if one doesn't reach an advanced level?

The speaker believes that the benefits of starting day game are immediate and life-changing, with every bit of growth leading to a better life, regardless of not reaching an advanced level.

How does the speaker describe the impact of day game on their life?

The speaker shares that day game has made them a different person, with improved motivation, perspective, and problem-solving skills, affecting not just their social life but also other areas like sales and handling adversity.

What does the speaker suggest about the timeline for seeing progress in day game?

The speaker suggests that significant progress can be seen within weeks or months, and it's not necessary to wait until reaching an expert level to enjoy the benefits.

What is the speaker's advice for someone who is 35 and considering starting day game?

The speaker advises that it's never too late to start and that the best time to start is now, emphasizing that the journey itself is rewarding and life-enhancing.

How does the speaker compare the process of learning day game to getting in shape?

The speaker compares learning day game to getting in shape by stating that while one might not become an Olympic athlete, the process of getting in better shape is beneficial and life-improving.

What are the potential advantages of starting day game later in life, according to the speaker?

The speaker suggests that starting day game later in life might come with advantages such as being more established in the world, having a better job, financial stability, and more life experience to offer.

What is the speaker's final note on starting day game at 35?

The speaker's final note is that even though it would have been nice to start sooner, there are advantages to starting later, and there's no excuse not to start now.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Overcoming Age-Related Concerns in Learning Day Game

The speaker addresses a common concern about starting to learn day game at the age of 35, questioning if it's too late and if one would only become proficient later in life. They empathize with the frustration and aim to provide a definitive answer. The speaker refutes the idea that older individuals cannot change habits or learn new skills, using the 'teach an old dog new tricks' analogy. They argue that while it might take more time to unlearn old habits, it's entirely possible to improve. They also challenge the notion of a deadline for skill acquisition, suggesting that even if one becomes good at 39 or 40, it's not a problem, as they personally are dating more attractive and eligible women now than ever before. The speaker emphasizes that every step in learning day game brings significant improvements to one's life, not just in dating but in overall social skills and personal growth. They encourage the audience to focus on the journey and the continuous enhancement of life that comes with learning day game, rather than fixating on reaching an expert level.

05:02

💪 The Value of Starting Late and the Progression in Game

The speaker extends the discussion on starting day game later in life by drawing parallels to other areas of self-improvement, such as fitness and financial health. They argue that while it might be too late to become an Olympic athlete, the benefits of getting in shape at any age are immense. The speaker encourages the audience to start their journey in day game, emphasizing that the best time to start is now, regardless of age. They provide a realistic timeline for progress, suggesting that with dedication, one can reach an intermediate level within a year and predictably form relationships with desirable partners. The speaker also highlights the advantages of starting later in life, such as being more established and having more life experience to offer. They conclude by urging the audience to take action and start their journey in day game, as the rewards are well worth the effort.

Keywords

💡Day game

Day game refers to the practice of approaching and engaging with potential romantic partners during daytime hours, typically in social settings outside of traditional nightlife venues. In the video, the concept is central to the discussion about whether it's too late to start developing social and dating skills at the age of 35. The speaker emphasizes that starting day game at any age can lead to significant improvements in one's social life and personal growth.

💡Habits

Habits are regular patterns of behavior that have become almost automatic through frequent repetition. In the context of the video, the speaker addresses the concern that as people age, their habits become more ingrained and potentially harder to change. However, the speaker counters this by stating that it's never too late to learn and adapt new behaviors, drawing a parallel to the saying 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks,' which is proven wrong by the speaker's experiences.

💡Social skills

Social skills are the abilities that enable people to interact effectively and harmoniously with others. The video discusses how engaging in day game can enhance one's social skills, not just in the context of dating but in various aspects of life such as sales and handling adversity. The speaker shares his personal transformation, illustrating how improving in day game led to broader improvements in his social abilities.

💡Personal growth

Personal growth refers to the process of improving one's character, abilities, and overall quality of life. The video's theme revolves around the idea that starting day game, regardless of age, can lead to personal growth. The speaker provides his perspective as evidence, stating that his life improved significantly from practicing day game, even beyond the dating context.

💡Attraction

Attraction in this context refers to the ability to draw interest and appeal from others, particularly in a romantic sense. The video mentions 'sparking attraction on command' as a skill that can be learned through day game, which can change one's interactions with potential partners and enhance the overall dating experience.

💡Adversity

Adversity refers to difficulties, challenges, or misfortunes that one may face in life. The speaker in the video suggests that learning day game has made him better at handling adversity, implying that the skills and mindset developed through day game can be applied to overcoming life's obstacles.

💡Dedication

Dedication is the commitment and devotion to a task or purpose. In the video, the speaker emphasizes that dedication is key to making progress in day game. He suggests that with dedication and hard work, one can achieve significant improvements in their social and dating life within a year.

💡Progress

Progress refers to the act of moving forward or improving in some way. The video discusses the concept of progress in the context of day game, stating that every step forward, regardless of how small, leads to an enhancement in one's life. The speaker illustrates this with his own journey, where even the early stages of learning day game led to life-changing improvements.

💡Age

Age is a measure of how old someone or something is. The video addresses the concern about starting day game at the age of 35, suggesting that it's never too late to begin. The speaker uses age as a point of comparison, stating that even though he started at a younger age, the benefits of starting at 35 are still substantial and can lead to a better social life.

💡Expert level

Expert level indicates a high degree of skill or knowledge in a particular area. The video discusses the misconception that one must reach an expert level in day game to see benefits. The speaker argues that even without reaching an expert level, the journey towards improvement in day game brings about significant and immediate life enhancements.

💡Motivation

Motivation is the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way. In the video, the speaker mentions that starting day game changed his motivation, suggesting that engaging in this practice can lead to a shift in one's drive and perspective on life, making them more proactive and solution-oriented.

Highlights

The question of whether it's too late to start day game at 35 is addressed.

The idea that older habits are harder to change is compared to the saying 'can you teach an old dog new tricks'.

The speaker asserts that it is possible to learn new social skills at any age, just as with teaching an old dog new tricks.

The concern about running out of time to become good at day game is discussed.

The speaker shares his personal experience, being successful at day game at the age of 41.

The importance of every step of progress in day game is emphasized, as it improves life quality.

The speaker describes his life-changing experience after starting to approach girls.

The concept of game as a tool for overall personal growth, not just with women, is introduced.

The misconception of game as a binary skill (either you have it or you don't) is refuted.

The speaker explains that game is a spectrum with many shades of improvement.

A parallel is drawn between starting day game and getting in shape at an older age.

The speaker argues that it's never too late to start improving any aspect of life, including day game.

The timeline for a beginner to reach an intermediate level in day game is discussed as less than a year.

The speaker mentions potential advantages of starting day game at an older age, such as better financial stability and life experience.

A call to action for older individuals to start day game and take advantage of their current life stage.

The speaker concludes by encouraging immediate action and dismissing the idea that it's too late to start.

Transcripts

today's question reflects a huge

frustration that I know a lot of my

audience has and it's also a frustration

for me to answer it so let's just get it

off both of our chests and answer it

once and for all here's the question

is 35 too late to start day game will I

only get really good at like 39 or 40.

so I understand where this question is

coming from on about 10 different levels

and none of them are really good or

useful but it is an important question

because it does get asked a lot and it

is a concern that people have and the

idea here I think is a few things number

one there's this idea that as you get

older your habits get more ingrained and

it gets harder to change them right this

whole like can you teach an old dog new

tricks thing and the answer to that

question in the dog sense is yes you can

it just takes longer because you have to

unwind more habits but yes you can teach

an old dog new tricks all right so that

in that sense yes it can be done yes you

can learn at that age the second

question the way it's phrased is am I

gonna run out of time is there some sort

of Runway and if I don't hit the end of

it at enough speed I'm gonna crash it

will I only be good at 39 or 40. well I

would ask the asker of this question so

what if you get good at 39 or 40 is that

a problem I'm currently 41 and granted

yes I would say like I'm not just good

at this I'm probably hopefully a

world-class level at this point but I am

dating more attractive more eligible

girls now than I ever have at any point

in my life even when I was in my 20s and

good at this or in my 30s and good at

this right so it's not like you know you

jump off a cliff at 40 and there's no

more social life for you right there's

plenty of social life past 40. even if

you did take till 39 or 42 get good at

this so that's not really a deal breaker

either but my biggest answer to this

question is this what do you mean when

you say I will only get good or really

good by Third nine or 40 because here's

the truth about game every single step

of the way every single bit of progress

you make your life gets better and

actually at the start you're making

tremendous leaps and your life is

getting enormously better okay when I

first started approaching girls granted

yes I was 18 not 35 but when I first

started approaching girls it was utterly

an absolutely life-changing I was a

different person three months into it

than I was three months before and that

is not an exaggeration I had different

motivation I saw the world differently I

made fewer excuses I found more and

better and Creative Solutions I saw the

things I was learning in game affecting

the rest of my life and making me better

at social skills in general better at

sales better at handling adversity what

game will do for you quickly is

absolutely out of this world it's

absolutely insane what game will do for

you quickly even if you don't get to an

advanced level at it every step along

the way every bit of growth you're going

to get in game especially the early

stuff is life-changing right so yeah if

you could start at 35 and it would take

you to 40 to be

Advanced or world class or whatever

which by the way it shouldn't even take

that long if you're really dedicated but

let's assume it would take you that long

well who cares because in three months

or six months you still will have made

massive progress and in three months or

six months you'll be getting more dates

and let's say that you started doing Day

game and you started getting more

comfortable talking to girls and more

charismatic and you didn't even get a

lot of dates from Day game but let's say

you were getting a slow trickle of dates

from your Social Circle throughout your

life you would probably triple it or

quadruple or quintuple or ten times that

just from doing Day game and from being

more social as well right and maybe

you're 10 times in one day a year and

now it's 10 Dates a year as still a

pretty damn big improvements the point

is this if you're looking at it as like

okay I have to get to expert level and

that's my that's my be-all and end-all

and that's all I want out of game that's

not understanding fundamentally how

beautiful game is because the thing

about game is every single step is such

an enhancement getting from low level

beginner to high level beginner will

change your life getting from high level

beginner to intermediate will absolutely

completely turn your life upside down in

a good way and getting from intermediate

to Advanced will take everything in your

life to this insane ridiculous level

that's how powerful game is as a tool

for growth not only with women but in

everything also by the way it should not

take you four to five years to start

seeing massive massive progress now

depending what you consider really good

if you consider really good world class

yeah it may take you you know a long

time to get there but to get to 80 of

world class doesn't take really that

long what you learn in game early on is

truly life-changing right when you learn

not to supplicate that will change your

life when you learn that it's okay to

talk to strangers and that there aren't

huge consequences from that that will

change your life in so many ways not

just with women when you learn how to

spark attraction on command as opposed

to just crossing your fingers and

waiting and hoping for a girl to like

you it will blow your mind first of all

it will also change how you walk through

the world in a way that you will never

go back don't think of game as this

binary either I have zero or I have one

right I have either have game or I don't

have Gamers opposite from the way I do

it the other way but regardless it's not

something you either have or don't have

there's this huge gray area at every

step of gray every shade of gray along

that gray area is massive life progress

so I really want to emphasize I think as

I said that six different ways at this

point but if you're viewing game the way

that the asker of this question is

viewing game you're not getting anywhere

near the value you're going to at a game

just to give you my perspective on this

is someone that's seen people grow in

game I'm gonna give you a similar but

different question that I think we all

know the answer to and I want to show

you how they're very similar right if

someone were to come to you and let's

say they are massively out of shape

they're obese and in poor health and

they really are like you know starting

to become sickly and get diseases from

being in poor health and they're like

look I'm 35 is it too late for me to get

in shape is it too late for me to get in

the gym and the answer is it is probably

too late for them to become an Olympic

athlete that ship has probably sailed

that ship probably sailed a couple

decades ago and it probably sailed about

a hundred pounds ago right they are not

going to become a world-class athlete

however getting in the gym and getting

in shape is probably the single best

thing they can do and one of the single

most important decisions they can make

and if they you know started at let's

say 400 pounds and they got themselves

down to 300 over a course of many years

that would be tremendous for their life

and they would still be overweight and

they would still be out of shape and

they would still not be a world-class

athlete but their life would be so much

better right the question is okay I'm 35

is it too late well look it would have

been better if you started earlier yes

it would have been better if you started

earlier that would have been great but

you can't you can't go back in time

nobody has a time machine and think

think of it this way if you're worried

that 35 is too late ask yourself this if

I get to 45 how much worse is that right

so whatever time it is is the right time

for you to start game in the same way

that whatever moment it is is the right

time for you to start getting healthy

and getting in shape and yes it would

have been great if you lived your whole

life healthy and yes it would have been

great if you learned game from you know

a mentor when you were two years old and

never even had to study it formally

because it was just like in your bones

right that would be great but if you're

not there you have to make the right

decision from the place where you are

and the answer to both those questions

I'll give you a third one as well right

should I get fit and when should I start

yes and now should I start being

financially better and when should I

start working on it yes and now and

third one should I start working on game

and win yes and now okay these are

massive areas of growth in your life and

yeah it would have been great if you

started them earlier in all cases but

since you didn't and since you're at

this moment the best decision you can

make is to start now okay so that

answers the main part of this question

because it is sort of obliquely asked

I'll answer this as well how long will

it really take you to get to a decent

level in game if you are a typical

beginner and again all beginners are

different some beginners have like

literally no social experience of any

kind they lived like under Rock their

whole lives some beginners are actually

really good with you know guys and

social situations are just not

particularly good with girls and those

are two very different cases however for

just about any beginner who's dedicated

and willing to put in the work to get to

intermediate you should be able within a

period of less than a year to get to a

place where if you're willing to do

enough approaches you can predictably

get into relationships with cute

desirable girls you should be able to do

at least that within a year if you're

willing to put your ego aside do the

work and be smart about it and by the

way for a lot of you it'll be a lot

quicker so that's that's the extreme

case we're talking within a year some of

you it could be weeks or months for sure

it depends how hard you want to work how

smart you want to work it depends a

little bit where you're starting from

but really if you commit to this journey

you can get there and you can get there

a lot faster than you think and again as

I mentioned before the rewards along the

way will be amazing and will keep you on

the journey final note if you are

starting game at 35 I'm not going to

like blow smoke up your ass and say that

it's better that you're starting now

than if you started younger however I

will say you do probably have some

advantages over starting younger because

you're probably more established in the

world you probably have a better job you

probably have a better financial

situation you probably have more life

experience and more things you can bring

into a girl's life than you did when you

were younger so in that sense your

progress actually should be faster yes

it would have been nice to have started

sooner I'm not gonna lie that would have

been the case but you do have some

advantages being an older guy as well so

don't overlook those so all you old

farts get out there there's no excuse by

the way if you're 35 you're actually

younger than me so I'm the old fart but

yeah get out there take action it's the

right thing to do start and start now

please for yourself so that was actually

more fun to answer than I thought it was

going to be if you have questions post

them below and I will get to those

questions that is where I get a lot of

the content for that channel thanks for

being here see you on the next one