The Top 10 Effects of a Sexless Relationship on Men

Summary

In this insightful video, Dr. Nazanin Moali, a licensed clinical psychologist, discusses the top 10 effects of being in a sexless relationship on men. She explains that a sexless relationship is one where couples have sex less than 10 times a year, affecting 19% of American couples. Dr. Moali outlines common patterns observed in her clients, such as resentment, feeling trapped, low self-esteem, stress, and emotional distance. She also touches on the potential for affairs, porn addiction, and divorce. The video concludes with a solution, offering a podcast episode for couples to break the sexless cycle and improve their relationships.

Takeaways

• 🚫 A sexless relationship is defined as having sex less than 10 times per year and affects approximately 19% of couples in America.
• 🤔 It's important to differentiate between situational sexlessness, where external factors temporarily reduce sexual activity, and a long-term pattern of no sex.
• 😠 Resentment is a common issue for men in sexless relationships, feeling their partner is intentionally withholding sex.
• 🔒 Men often feel trapped in a sexless marriage, caught between the desire to stay for the family and the need for sexual intimacy.
• 😞 Low self-esteem is a significant effect, with men feeling unworthy or undesirable due to the lack of sexual intimacy from their partner.
• 💼 High stress can result from the avoidance of sex and physical touch, leading to a potentially toxic environment within the relationship.
• 👥 Touch deprivation can occur, where both partners avoid physical contact to prevent the assumption of wanting sex.
• 😔 Mental health issues such as depression and physical health issues like increased risk of prostate cancer for men can stem from a lack of sexual activity.
• 👫 Couples may drift apart as a result of sexlessness, with work or other activities becoming a means to avoid dealing with sexual desires.
• ❤️ Physical touch is a way for many men to express love, and its absence can lead to disconnection in the relationship.
• 🚪 The door to infidelity can be opened in sexless relationships, with the lack of sexual fulfillment leading some to seek it outside the marriage.
• 💔 Pornography addiction may develop as an alternative to sexual intimacy within the relationship.
• 💔 Divorce and separation are real considerations for those in sexless relationships, with some planning their exit strategy due to the lack of sexual connection.
• 🎧 Dr. Nazanin Moali suggests a podcast episode as a resource for couples to address and potentially end the sexless cycle in their relationship.

Q & A

What is the definition of a sexless relationship according to Dr. Nazanin Moali?

A sexless relationship is defined as a couple having sex less than 10 times per calendar year.

What percentage of couples in America are reported to be in sexless relationships?

Recent statistics show that about 19 percent of couples in America are in sexless relationships.

Why did Dr. Moali decide to make a video specifically about the impact of sexless relationships on men?

Dr. Moali decided to create the video because she received a question from long-term listeners who wanted to know more about the impact on men.

What are situational sexless relationships and why are they different from the ones discussed in the video?

Situational sexless relationships occur due to temporary circumstances like health issues, where sex is not a priority for a short period of time. These are different from the sexless relationships discussed in the video, which are not due to temporary or communicated reasons.

How does the lack of sex in a relationship impact men according to the common patterns Dr. Moali has observed?

The lack of sex can lead to resentment, feeling trapped, low self-esteem, high stress, avoidance of physical touch, mental health issues like depression, and potential separation or divorce.

What is the first challenge that men in a sexless relationship often face, as mentioned by Dr. Moali?

The first challenge is resentment towards their partner, feeling that their partner is withholding sex from them on purpose.

Why do men in sexless relationships often feel trapped?

They feel trapped because they love their family and the life they've created with their spouse, but they also feel compelled to remain celibate, which leads to a conflict between staying and being miserable or leaving and impacting the family.

How can the refusal of sex by a partner affect a man's self-esteem?

When a partner refuses sex, it can lead to feelings of being unworthy of love and undesirable, causing a man to believe there is something wrong with them.

What is the connection between sexual experiences and financial earnings according to the study mentioned by Dr. Moali?

The study suggests that people who have more frequent and satisfying sexual experiences tend to earn more.

How can a sexless relationship lead to mental and physical health issues?

A sexless relationship can lead to mental health challenges like depression and physical health issues, including the potential for regular ejaculation to prevent prostate cancer in men.

What is the potential impact of a sexless relationship on a couple's emotional connection?

A sexless relationship can cause couples to drift apart, as they may unconsciously dedicate their life to work or other activities to suppress their sexuality due to the lack of sexual connection.

How does the lack of physical touch in a sexless relationship affect the individuals involved?

The lack of physical touch can lead to feelings of rejection and avoidance, which can contribute to mental health issues and a decrease in the quality of the relationship.

What is the potential consequence of a sexless relationship in terms of fidelity?

A sexless relationship may open the door for infidelity, as individuals may seek out others who can fulfill their desire for intimacy and sexual connection.

How does the use of pornography relate to sexless relationships in the context of Dr. Moali's observations?

In sexless relationships, individuals may turn to pornography as an alternative way to explore their sexuality and fulfill their sexual needs when sex is not a part of their relationship.

What is the potential outcome of a sexless relationship that Dr. Moali often sees in her practice?

Dr. Moali often sees individuals planning their exit strategy from the relationship, considering divorce and separation due to the unbalanced and unhealthy dynamic caused by the lack of sexual connection.

What solution does Dr. Moali offer for couples experiencing a sexless relationship?

Dr. Moali suggests listening to a podcast episode she recorded with a colleague, which provides step-by-step guidance on how to end the sexless cycle and improve the relationship.

Outlines

00:00

🚷 Impact of Sexless Relationships on Men

Dr. Nazanin Moali, a licensed clinical psychologist, discusses the top 10 effects of sexless relationships on men in this video. She defines a sexless relationship as one where a couple has sex less than 10 times a year and notes that about 19% of American couples fall into this category. Dr. Moali clarifies that the video focuses on relationships where sex was initially desired but has gradually decreased, not those where it was never a part of the relationship, such as with asexual individuals. She outlines the first five challenges men face in sexless relationships, including resentment towards their partner, feeling trapped, low self-esteem, living in a high-stress environment, and being in a touch-starved relationship. These issues can lead to mental health challenges and physical health problems, such as an increased risk of prostate cancer for men.

05:03

😔 Common Challenges in Sexless Relationships

Continuing the discussion on sexless relationships, Dr. Moali highlights additional challenges faced by men. These include the tendency for couples to drift apart, often due to one partner focusing excessively on work as a means to avoid dealing with their sexual desires. She emphasizes the importance of physical touch as a form of expressing love for many men and notes that the lack of sex can lead to emotional and physical distance between partners. Dr. Moali also addresses the increased likelihood of infidelity and porn addiction as men seek outlets for their unfulfilled sexual needs. She concludes by discussing the serious consideration some men give to divorce or separation due to the ongoing lack of sexual intimacy in their relationships, and she offers a solution in the form of a podcast episode that provides step-by-step guidance on how to address and potentially end the sexless cycle with one's partner.

10:05

👋 Seeking Help for Sexless Relationships

In the final paragraph, Dr. Moali invites viewers to seek help for their sexless relationships. She encourages them to listen to a podcast episode she and a colleague recorded, which offers practical advice on how to break the cycle of sexual avoidance. The episode is intended to be listened to alone or with one's partner, and Dr. Moali hopes that by following the guidance provided, couples can achieve the sexual connection they deserve. She ends the video with a note of thanks and an encouraging message for those struggling with the complexities of sexless relationships.

Keywords

💡Sexless Relationship

A 'sexless relationship' refers to a couple having sex less than 10 times per year. It is central to the video's theme as it is the main subject being discussed. The script mentions that about 19 percent of couples in America are in sexless relationships, highlighting the prevalence of this issue.

💡Resentment

Resentment is a feeling of persistent ill-will or indignation towards someone. In the context of the video, men in sexless relationships may feel resentment towards their partners because they perceive their partners as withholding sex, which can lead to a lack of intimacy and emotional disconnect.

💡Feeling Trapped

The term 'feeling trapped' denotes a sense of being confined or restricted without any options to change one's situation. Men in sexless marriages may feel trapped because they love their family and life but are unhappy due to the lack of sexual intimacy, feeling they must choose between staying and being miserable or leaving and causing family upheaval.

💡Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem refers to a negative view of oneself and a lack of confidence in one's own worth. The video describes how men in sexless relationships may experience low self-esteem because they feel undesirable or unworthy of love when their sexual advances are rejected, which can affect various aspects of their lives.

💡Stress

Stress is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances. The script talks about the high-stress environment created by sexual avoidance in relationships, which can be toxic and impact the quality of the couple's connection.

💡Touch-Averse Relationship

A 'touch-averse relationship' is one where physical touch is avoided due to fear of rejection or misunderstandings about sexual intentions. The video mentions that couples in sexless relationships might avoid touch to prevent the other person from thinking they want sex, which can lead to emotional and physical distance.

💡Mental Health

Mental health refers to a person's psychological and emotional well-being. The video discusses how being in a sexless relationship can lead to mental health challenges such as depression, emphasizing the importance of sexual satisfaction for overall psychological health.

💡Physical Health

Physical health relates to the general condition and functioning of a person's body. The script points out that regular sexual activity, such as ejaculation for men, can have health benefits like preventing prostate cancer, indicating the link between sexual health and physical well-being.

💡Drift Apart

To 'drift apart' means to gradually grow distant or separate from someone. The video mentions that couples in sexless relationships may drift apart due to lack of physical and emotional connection, with one partner potentially focusing excessively on work as a way to avoid dealing with their sexual desires.

💡Porn Addiction

Porn addiction refers to an compulsive and unhealthy engagement with pornography. The video describes how the absence of sex in a relationship can lead individuals to turn to porn as an alternative way to explore their sexuality and fulfill their sexual needs, which can become addictive.

💡Divorce and Separation

Divorce and separation refer to the legal termination of a marriage and the process of partners choosing to live apart, respectively. The script highlights that some individuals in sexless relationships may consider or plan for divorce or separation due to the ongoing dissatisfaction and emotional pain caused by the lack of sexual intimacy.

Highlights

Dr. Nazanin Moali discusses the top 10 effects of being in a sexless relationship on men.

A sexless relationship is defined as having sex less than 10 times per year.

About 19 percent of couples in America are in sexless relationships.

Situational sexlessness is different from a relationship where sex is never a priority.

Resentment towards the partner for withholding sex is a common issue.

Men in sexless relationships often feel trapped and conflicted about their options.

Low self-esteem can result from feeling undesirable or unworthy of love.

Frequent satisfying sexual experiences are linked to higher earnings.

High stress environments can be created by sexual avoidance in relationships.

Touch deprivation can lead to mental and physical health issues.

Pornography addiction can arise as an alternative to a sexless relationship.

Sexless relationships can lead to emotional pain and potential infidelity.

Men may drift apart from their partners and focus on work to suppress their sexuality.

Physical touch is a way for many men to express love and connection.

The possibility of divorce is a common consideration in long-term sexless relationships.

Dr. Moali offers a podcast episode with steps to break the sexless cycle.

Maintaining a healthy sexual relationship is crucial for overall well-being.

Transcripts

Hello there i'm Dr. Nazanin Moali licensed  clinical psychologist and host of Sexology podcast  

on our video today we're going to talk about the  top 10 effects of being in a sexless relationship  

on a man sexless relationship can impact people  of all genders but we got this question from our  

long-term listeners that they wanted this video  so we decided to do a full video talking about  

the impact of sexless relationship on men perhaps  you're wondering what is a sexless relationship  

sexless relationship is when a couple have sex  less than 10 times per calendar year unfortunately  

it is more common than most people know recent  statistics show that about 19 percent of couples  

in America are in the sexes relationships the  people we're talking about in this video we're  

not talking about situational sexless relationship  sometimes our spouse spouse they have health  

issues sometimes we're going through things that  for a short period of time sex is not a priority  

for us if it's been communicated with your partner  there is nothing wrong with that there are people  

that sex is not part of the relationship that  is something that's been communicated from the  

first day they identify as asexual and for them  a relationship and sex they're not together but  

for most people they start from this place of  passion they start with wanting to have sex with  

their partner all the time and then slowly  the frequency of sex becomes less and less  

and then after perhaps few years these people  find themselves in a sexless relationship  

which is such a tragedy in a way because sex  is important part of a healthy relationship  

and there's nothing wrong with wanting to have  sex with your spouse so we're going to talk about  

top 10 patterns that i see among my clients that i  have they have worked with throughout the years i  

supported more than thousands of men in sexless  relationship and i'm gonna share with you some  

of the common patterns that i've seen number  one challenge that i see on for men that are  

in a sexless relationship is this resentment  toward their partner it's not even about the  

sex anymore it's not about i want to have sex  they feel that their partner is withholding sex  

from them they feel that their partner they know  how much they crave intimacy and they're doing  

this on purpose because they don't care about  them number two is feeling trapped i work with  

so many men they love their family they love the  life they created with their uh with their spouse  

and they don't want to go out of their  relationship but they feel trapped because  

they they didn't get married to be celibate but  now they found that their spouse they don't want  

to have sex with them and they have no option then  to either remain in the marriage and be miserable  

or leave the marriage and make a decision  that perhaps will impact their whole family  

financially emotionally and psychologically third  challenge that i i see is this low self-esteem  

when our spouse or partner they refuse us they  feel we're not worthy of love we feel undesirable  

they feel that perhaps something is wrong with me  that my partner no longer want to stack to have  

sex with me sometimes we discover that perhaps  our partner engage in solo experiences they  

just don't want to have sex with us and that can  lead to us feeling not not good about ourselves  

and when our self-esteem drops it impacts  the quality of relationship we have at work  

it impacts our relation other relationship and  it can even lead to financial loss it's a very  

interesting study that showed that people who have  more frequent satisfying sexual experiences they  

earn more fourth challenge is this kind of living  in this high stress environment couples that they  

are in this sexual avoidance cycle of one partner  initiating the and the other partner uh refuse  

having sex are kind of living in this environment  that can be at time toxic because people go out  

of their way to kind of avoid their partner and it  can impact the quality of connection that couples  

they have together also number five is being in a  touchstone relationship as a result of this sexual  

avoidance sometimes we are just tired of being  rejected or perhaps we want to be with our partner  

but we don't want them be kind of physically their  partner not have sex we're craving touch but we  

both the couples tend to both be avoiding physical  touch because they don't want the other person and  

get this idea that they want to have sex so they  tend to avoid any kind of physical touch that  

again in turn can help the per lead to someone  experiencing and health issues when we are not  

feeling satisfied in our relationship it can lead  to all sort of mental health challenges including  

depression it can lead to physical health  issues we know that regular ejaculation for men  

prevent prostate cancer and again being a  satisfying relationship can be good for our  

psychological well-being another common  challenge for people is that they couple  

they drift apart one of the complaint at  times i get from some of my clients is that  

my partner is always working they're at work 24 7  and when we talk about these kind of like desire  

to work more with their spouse with their  partner we realize that they're consciously  

or unconsciously they are dedicating their life to  work because they want to suppress their sexuality  

because they don't know what to do with their  desire their partner they don't want to have sex  

with them and they just don't want to deal with it  emotionally and something to keep in mind that for  

many men physical touch is how they express their  love sometimes i hear from my female clients that  

they say that i want to emotionally connect with  my partner so i would be sexually open but many  

of my clients male clients they they need to  have that physical connection because that's  

part that's the way that they express love another  challenge that's unfortunately very common is that  

when you refuse having sex with your partner when  the relationship is a sexless it opens up the door  

for a fair i'm not saying having an affair is okay  i'm not saying that it's justified but i've seen  

it over and over my practice that people telling  me that they i forgot about that part of me  

so when the other person the other woman showed up  how much they care about me how much they desire  

me i couldn't resist it because i forgot how great  it was to be wanted and it can lead to uh kind of  

a separation of couples could create it can  lead to all sorts of emotional pain for everyone  

involved another common challenge is that i get  i get a call from female partner and they say  

that my partner has a porn addiction i discovered  that they're watching porn all the time on their  

computer and please fix them but when we talk  about kind of like the pattern in the relationship  

we discovered that these individuals um like they  don't have sex sex is not part of the relationship  

so of course their partner finds alternative  way of exploring their uh their sexuality and  

uh fulfilling their sexual need and porn could be  one of that so if you don't want your partner to  

consume porn compulsively then having a healthy  sexual plan can help the relationship to be  

on track another challenge is the divorce and  separation you get shocked that how many people  

i've seen my practice they're because  they're coming to me they feel defeated  

but they are planning their exit strategy they're  thinking about when would be a good time for me  

to leave this marriage so i can minimize the  harm on my children i can minimize the financial  

complication of a divorce and they don't talk  about this with their partner because they're  

just so focused on exiting this relationship  so it's important to know that having sex is a  

healthy part of relationship and if it hasn't been  communicated with your partner for any reason that  

you're taking a pause it can lead to a unbalanced  unhealthy relationship if you're finding yourself  

in that dynamic i have a good solution for you  a few years ago a colleague of mine and myself  

recorded this half an hour podcast episode and we  talked about step by step what you need to do with  

your spouse to end this uh sexless cycle so if you  are interested make sure you're listening to this  

uh episode you can listen it uh alone listen  to it alone or you can listen to it with your  

partner put in the comment what you think  about it and i hope that you will find  

sexual connection that you deserve and thank  you so much for watching our video [Music]