AP Seminar: Incorporating Evidence

Summary

In this lesson, AP Seminar and Research teacher Allison Malloy guides students through the process of incorporating evidence into their arguments. She emphasizes the importance of using relevant, credible, and sufficient evidence to support claims and reasoning. Malloy explains how to evaluate the quality of evidence and the role of commentary in connecting evidence to arguments. She also discusses the significance of the reference page in assessing the range and quality of evidence, and provides tips on integrating evidence smoothly into an argument, using the metaphor of a smooth elevator ride to illustrate the concept. The lesson aims to help students develop clear, convincing arguments backed by strong evidence.

Takeaways

• 📚 The lesson focuses on incorporating evidence into an argument, emphasizing the use of qualitative and quantitative data from various sources.
• 🔍 Evidence should be used to support, extend, or complicate claims within an argument, and it must be relevant, credible, and sufficient.
• 💡 The importance of having an outline or draft before discussing evidence is stressed, as it helps in planning how to use evidence effectively.
• 📝 The rubric for evaluating evidence is explained, with a high score requiring relevant, credible, and sufficient evidence that supports an argument.
• 🔑 Credibility is determined by accuracy, trustworthiness, and consistency across sources, with questions to consider about the author's reputation and expertise.
• 🔗 Relevance means the evidence has a definitive relationship to the claim and can be defended in a logical argument.
• 📉 Sufficiency refers to the adequate amount of evidence needed to convince the reader of the validity of the claim.
• 📑 The reference page is crucial as it provides the first impression of the quality and range of evidence used in an argument.
• ✍️ Commentary is essential as it acts as a bridge between evidence and claims, explaining the relevance and credibility, and should be clear and explicit.
• 🔄 The integration of evidence should be smooth, without making the reader feel the 'stops' between different pieces of evidence, like a smooth elevator ride.
• 📈 The final advice includes using less evidence but making it essential, focusing on commentary over evidence, and using resources like Purdue OWL for grammar and formatting help.

Q & A

What is the name of the teacher presenting the lesson?

The teacher's name is Allison Malloy.

What subjects does Allison Malloy teach?

Allison Malloy teaches AP Seminar and AP Research.

At which school does Allison Malloy teach?

Allison Malloy teaches at Carmel High School in Carmel, Indiana.

What is the main focus of the lesson eight in the transcript?

The main focus of lesson eight is incorporating evidence to support an argument in academic writing.

What are the three key aspects of evidence discussed in the lesson?

The three key aspects of evidence discussed are sufficiency, relevance, and credibility.

What does the term 'credible' refer to in the context of academic evidence?

In the context of academic evidence, 'credible' refers to sources that are accurate, trustworthy, consistent across sources, and have a reputation for reliability.

How does the lesson define 'relevant' evidence?

'Relevant' evidence is defined as having a definitive relationship to the claim and being defensible, especially to an educated audience.

What does 'sufficient' evidence mean in the context of the lesson?

'Sufficient' evidence means providing enough facts or examples to convince someone of the validity of a claim, without being excessive.

Why is the reference page important according to the lesson?

The reference page is important because it gives the first impression of the quality and range of evidence included in the paper, and it helps determine the credibility of the sources used.

What role does commentary play in the integration of evidence and argument?

Commentary acts as a bridge that unites evidence with the purpose of the argument, explaining the relevance, credibility, and how the evidence supports, extends, or complicates the claims.

How should evidence be used to develop an argument according to the lesson?

Evidence should be used to support, extend, or complicate the claims within the argument, and it should be integrated smoothly without dominating or dictating the argument's direction.

What advice is given for improving the integration of evidence in writing?

The advice given includes using less evidence and only essential information, using commentary effectively, and ensuring that the evidence supports rather than dictates the argument's direction for a smooth and convincing integration.

What is the importance of starting with a claim rather than evidence in an argument paragraph?

Starting with a claim rather than evidence ensures that the argument is clear and focused, preventing the evidence from overshadowing or confusing the main point of the argument.

How does the lesson differentiate between the emphasis on evidence in an IRR versus the emphasis on argument in an IWA?

In an IRR, the emphasis is on the evidence itself and how different pieces of evidence connect. In contrast, an IWA emphasizes the student's argument, using evidence to support, extend, or complicate the student's claims.

What is the final advice given for evaluating and improving the use of evidence in academic writing?

The final advice includes evaluating the evidence through highlighting and checking the ratio of evidence to commentary, composing a rough draft with a bibliography, ensuring alignment between the research question and argument, and seeking help from resources like Purdue OWL for formatting and grammar questions.

Outlines

00:00

📚 Introduction to Evidence in Argumentative Writing

Allison Malloy, an AP Seminar and Research teacher at Carmel High School, introduces the focus of the video: incorporating evidence into an argument. She emphasizes the importance of understanding how to use qualitative and quantitative data from various sources to support an argument. Students are reminded to have an outline for their argument before proceeding. The teacher also reviews the rubric for scoring, highlighting the need for relevant, credible, and sufficient evidence to achieve a high score.

05:02

🔍 Criteria for Selecting Credible, Relevant, and Sufficient Evidence

The video discusses the criteria for selecting evidence, defining 'credible' as accurate, trustworthy, and consistent across sources. Factors such as the reputation of the author, the currency of the information, and potential biases are considered when evaluating credibility. 'Relevant' evidence is defined as having a definitive relationship to the claim, and 'sufficient' evidence means providing enough information to convince the reader. The teacher uses examples to illustrate these concepts and advises students to think critically about the evidence they choose to include in their arguments.

10:03

📈 The Role of Reference Pages in Assessing Evidence Quality

The instructor explains the significance of reference pages in the evaluation process, as they provide an initial impression of the evidence's quality and range. The teacher provides examples of reference pages that demonstrate a commitment to finding academic, peer-reviewed sources versus those that rely heavily on journalistic sources. The importance of including a variety of academic sources and citing stimulus material is highlighted to ensure a high score in evidence.

15:06

🔗 The Function of Evidence in Supporting, Extending, and Complicating Claims

Evidence should serve to support, extend, or complicate the claims made in an argument. The teacher clarifies that evidence is not just about proving a point but also about addressing counterclaims and objections. The importance of being explicit about how evidence functions within the argument is emphasized, and students are encouraged to ensure that their argument drives the use of evidence, rather than the evidence dictating the argument's direction.

20:08

🗣️ The Importance of Commentary in Linking Evidence to Claims

Commentary is described as a bridge that unites evidence with the argument's purpose. The teacher stresses the need for clear and explicit connections between evidence and claims, advising students to avoid merely summarizing evidence and instead explain its relevance and credibility. High-scoring examples from the Chief Reed report are provided to illustrate the effective use of commentary in creating a convincing argument.

25:10

🎯 Distinguishing Between Evidence Emphasis and Argument Emphasis in Writing

The video contrasts the emphasis on evidence versus the emphasis on argument in writing, using examples from an Informational Synthesis Essay (IRR) and an Individual Written Assignment (IWA). The teacher points out that in the IRR, the focus is on summarizing and connecting evidence, while in the IWA, the argument should be clear and drive the use of evidence. Students are advised to start with a claim or counterclaim and use evidence to support their argument, ensuring that the student voice is prominent throughout.

30:10

📝 Improving Integration of Evidence in Argumentative Writing

The instructor provides guidance on integrating evidence effectively, using color-coding as a metaphor to illustrate the balance between claims (student argument) and evidence. The teacher demonstrates how to rewrite a paragraph to improve the integration of evidence, ensuring that the argument is clear and evidence supports, extends, or complicates the claims without overwhelming the reader. The importance of a smooth 'elevator ride' of ideas is emphasized, where evidence feels like a natural part of the argument.

35:12

📘 Final Advice on Using Evidence and Writing the Argument

The video concludes with final advice on using evidence, emphasizing the importance of using key words and excerpts rather than full quotes, and the value of commentary over evidence description. The teacher suggests using color coding to evaluate the balance between evidence and commentary and advises students to ensure alignment between their research question and their argument. The Purdue Online Writing Lab (Purdue OWL) is recommended for students seeking help with formatting and grammar. The instructor outlines the next steps for students, which include evaluating their evidence, composing a rough draft, and ensuring the alignment of their research question with their argument.

Keywords

💡Incorporating Evidence

Incorporating evidence refers to the process of integrating data, facts, or sources into an argument to support claims and reasoning. In the video, this concept is central as it discusses how to use qualitative and quantitative data from various perspectives to develop and support an argument. The script emphasizes the importance of using evidence that is relevant, credible, and sufficient to bolster the argument effectively.

💡Relevant Evidence

Relevant evidence is information that has a definitive relationship to the claim being made and is necessary for supporting an argument. The script explains that evidence must be directly related to the argument and should not be included if it does not contribute to proving the point. An example from the transcript is the distinction made between the claims of Joe Exotic about Carole Baskin's involvement in a murder case, which is not relevant due to his lack of connection to the case.

💡Credible Evidence

Credible evidence is information that is accurate, trustworthy, and consistent across various sources. The video script stresses the importance of evaluating the reputation of the author, organization, or source, and considering their potential biases or vested interests. Credibility is a critical factor in determining the quality of evidence used to support an argument.

💡Sufficient Evidence

Sufficient evidence implies having enough facts or examples to convincingly support a claim. The script discusses the need to provide an adequate amount of evidence to persuade an educated audience. It suggests that while there is no set number, at least two pieces of evidence should be presented, and more should be added unless it becomes excessive.

💡Commentary

Commentary serves as a bridge that connects evidence with the argument being made. It is used to explain the relevance and credibility of the evidence and how it supports the claims. The video emphasizes the importance of being explicit about the link between evidence and claims, ensuring that the evidence is not just presented but is actively used to advance the argument.

💡Argument Development

Argument development is the process of creating a logical and well-reasoned case for a particular point of view. The script discusses how to structure an argument using evidence to support claims, addressing counterclaims, and considering objections and limitations. The development of a clear and convincing argument is a key objective of the lesson.

💡Persuasion

Persuasion in the context of the video refers to the act of convincing the reader or audience of the validity of an argument through the use of evidence. The script mentions that evidence should be used not just to state facts but to persuade, proving or convincing the audience of the argument's merits.

💡Synthesizing Data

Synthesizing data involves combining and interpreting information from various sources to form a coherent understanding or argument. The video script discusses the importance of synthesizing qualitative and quantitative data to support an argument, ensuring that the evidence is not just listed but is integrated into a cohesive narrative.

💡Academic Journals

Academic journals are scholarly publications that contain articles written by experts in various fields. The script highlights the value of academic journals as sources of credible and up-to-date information. It contrasts the use of academic journals with other types of sources, emphasizing the importance of including peer-reviewed and academic sources in an argument.

💡News Media

News media refers to news outlets and journalism, which can be a source of information but may not always provide the depth or expert perspective found in academic journals. The video script discusses the limitations of relying on news media as evidence, noting that while they can be credible, they may not offer the same level of expertise or primary research as academic sources.

Highlights

Introduction to the lesson on incorporating evidence in an argumentative paper by Allison Malloy, an AP Seminar and AP Research teacher.

Objectives include understanding how to incorporate evidence to support claims and reasoning, and recognizing what makes evidence sufficient, relevant, and credible.

Emphasis on the importance of having an outline or draft before discussing evidence to ensure a clear plan for its use.

Explanation of the rubric for evaluating evidence, focusing on the necessity of evidence being relevant, credible, and sufficient to support an argument.

Discussion on the credibility of sources, including accuracy, trustworthiness, and consistency across sources.

Questions to consider for evaluating the credibility of a source, such as the reputation of the author and the publication.

Differentiation between the terms 'relevant' and 'sufficient' in the context of evidence, and how they relate to an argument's claims.

Importance of the reference page in giving the first impression of the quality and range of evidence included in a paper.

Contrasting examples of high-quality and low-quality reference pages and their impact on the evaluation of evidence.

The function of evidence in supporting, extending, or complicating claims within an argument.

Advice on being explicit with how evidence functions to support the argument and not letting the evidence dictate the argument's direction.

The role of commentary in connecting evidence with the argument, serving as a bridge between the two.

Highlighting the difference between the IRR and IWA in terms of the emphasis on evidence versus the argument, with examples.

Integration of evidence and argument through effective writing, avoiding the overwhelming presence of evidence over the argument.

Metaphor of a smooth elevator ride to illustrate the concept of well-integrated evidence within an argument.

Final advice on using evidence, emphasizing the importance of commentary over large chunks of evidence.

Recommendation to use Purdue OWL for guidance on formatting and grammar to ensure clarity in writing.

Instructions for next steps, including evaluating the use and quality of evidence, composing a rough draft, and ensuring alignment between research question and argument.

Transcripts

welcome back all you ap7 are students

and teachers I am so glad that you are

here to join me again just a reminder my

name is Allison Malloy and I am an AP

seminar and AP research teacher at

Carmel High School in Carmel Indiana so

we have progressed right through the

individual written argument or the IWA

we are now on less than eight which is

going to focus on incorporating evidence

so let's get right into it so our

objectives today are pretty

straightforward we are going to talk

about evidence so interpreting using and

synthesizing qualitative and

quantitative data from various

perspectives and sources to develop and

support an argument specifically and a

little bit more clear terms this means

that we're going to understand how to

incorporate evidence to support claims

and reasoning as it pertains to an

argument we're going to understand what

makes evidence sufficient relevant and

credible and we're going to understand

how to use commentary to Cola to connect

the chosen claims that we have have

picked so before we get any further I

want to remind you about your outline

it's really hard to talk about evidence

and to talk about our evaluation of

evidence if you haven't actually started

to think about how you plan to use

evidence so please stop this video and

come back once you've outlined your

argument and/or written a draft but

minimally if you have an outline you've

at least thought about how you plan to

use evidence and that's enough for you

to then be able to progress through this

video so we're going to start as we

always do just looking back at the

rubric rows and making sure it is very

clear what we are talking about so in

lesson 7 mr. Gonzales covered row 3 with

you in a lot more depth and then in

lesson 6

I covered row 4 but just a reminder Row

3 is about perspectives we're making

sure that we have a variety of arguments

represented but a variety of voices as

well and that we're considering

objections implications and limitations

to really get to that high score for row

4 we're looking at making sure we're

making a clear and convincing argument

and that our argument is logically

organized

and well-reasoned and that we've

connected our claims and evidence which

is going to carry over to row five which

is going to be our focus today so if we

look at the high score for row five this

response includes relevant credible and

sufficient evidence to support its

argument now that's really important

there to support its argument so not

only is the evidence relevant credible

and sufficient and we'll get more into

the definitions of those terms on the

next couple slides but it's being used

to support an argument so if you are not

actually writing an argument you cannot

score high even if you have wonderfully

well vetted sources okay we go to a

medium if you have mostly relevant and

credible sources so thinking about what

this means this means that I might have

a couple academic sources but I'm mostly

relying on news or journalism as my

primary focus for sources and then for

the low any evidence presented in the

response is irrelevant and or lacks

credibility and so in this case I'm not

finding good credible sources or I'm

really finding things that don't really

serve the purpose or attach to what

we're doing so let's get into those

definitions so we can better understand

this rubric grill so credible and I

realize that hopefully these terms have

been defined for you but like I said in

six we were talking about building an

argument is we want to make sure we

define key terms so we're all on the

same page so there's no concerns as

we're moving forward and if we have that

consistent definition and basis then

it's easy for us to actually start to

implement those into our paper so for

credible what we're looking at is

accurate trustworthy and and then the

other thing I like to consider for

credible is that it's consistent across

sources if you read a source and you

think oh my gosh this is too good to be

true right I haven't seen this anywhere

else this is exactly what I want

everything else does something different

then that should at least you know cause

some alarm for you in your head thinking

well if this one says one thing but all

of these other sources who have cited

things and done their research say

something else then that really starts

this conversation about which one is

actually accurate and usually there's a

consistency

maybe there

off by a little bit but by and large if

one is saying something completely

obscure in comparison to everybody else

then most likely that is not the

credible source okay some questions to

consider as you're thinking about the

credibility of the source and what

they're saying is what's the reputation

of the author organization source

publication and have they lied in the

past or what about their past actions do

we know is there any reason to believe

they may not be reliable or credible

when we think about the publication as

well are they in a position of authority

would they have access to this

information and would they actually be

considered an expert on this information

are they up to date obviously technology

sources from the 80s are going to be

completely outdated but even if you

think about early 2000s is that really

as up-to-date as we get probably not and

that's going to depend on up to date in

the topic or category that you're

actually focused on is the author in a

position that allows for reliable

evidence did they actually observe the

event that they're writing about do they

have some kind of expertise are they

neutral or bias and then what does the

author the organization or the source

have to gain from providing this

information right look those are all

things that we have to think about when

we think about credibility and here's

why news media or journalism becomes

that middle row on the rubric versus the

high is that if we think about a lot of

these questions they actually observe

the event most of the time the answer is

no they're using eyewitnesses or other

people's testimony to help them um write

about right and so they aren't in a

position of expertise and we also have

to think about the fact that even though

news is doing an amazing job and they're

reporting a lot of things they're

usually not the primary source and they

also are writing for a specific audience

so knowing that they do have something

to gain right there trying to sell

newspapers or so print or however we

want to phrase it the idea is there is

something to gain so even if they're

presenting credible information the way

that they're writing it may be different

based on their target audience right so

that's why we really want to go to those

primary

and expert sources so then when we think

about the term relevant relevant has a

definitive relationship to the claim so

you can have credible evidence it can be

100% accurate but it's worthless and it

doesn't relate in any way and if it's

irrelevant then it shouldn't be what

we're actually using now if you're

thinking in your head well how do i

define relevant what does that actually

look like if you can explain how it

relates and if you can defend it and not

just defend it to anybody but think

there's an educated person on the other

side can I give this defense to them and

would they follow then you know it's

actually relevant if they wouldn't

follow it's not so just to pick up off

an example I used previously because I

knew a lot of the internet and a lot of

you are excited about Tiger King right

this idea of Joe exotic who has no prior

relationship with Carroll Baskins

husband but yet he claims that he knows

that she killed her second husband right

he's not relevant nobody cares what he

thinks he would not hold up in a court

of law because he has no prior

relationship he wasn't there he just

doesn't like her right so that makes him

irrelevant now could you say well

hypothetically I wonder if he actually

knew something and he has all this

information well maybe but if he has no

relevancy then we don't want to consider

his perspective it really doesn't matter

okay on the other end of things

there's

this hope trump to pardon joe exotic

from prison and so all of these people

that have done this you know if we think

about the other end of it his niece is

coming out who is relevant because she

is related she works for him right she

has specific information about how he's

not a great person that is going to be

relevant because she actually has that

pre-existing relationship she is an

expert because she worked for him she

was around him she's related to him she

has first-hand experience so relevancy

yes you can be accurate but again what's

the definitive relationship and can you

defend it okay so then we think about

sufficient sufficient just means enough

and that's another one where it's like

well what's the right answer

unfortunately there is no right answer

you have to think about how many

separate facts or examples that you've

given and then how many needs to be

given so in order to do that you have to

think about how much do I have to tell

someone to convince them that this makes

sense or that my claim is valid so

minimally just in a minimum level make

sure you're getting at least two pieces

of information and that's minimally but

the more you can give without being

excessive there is that sweet spot

unfortunately it varies between

different arguments so you really just

want to focus on the idea of how much

did I give what's the composition of the

evidence I gave and then how is it

working to achieve my purpose am i

convincing was it enough okay again

think about that educated person on the

other side and then how we could put

that all together okay so when we go

back to the rubric grow now we think

about the response includes relevant

credible and sufficient evidence right

now we feel good about those terms it's

accurate it has a definitive

relationship and it's enough and that's

how I score high now one of the things

you may be surprised about is that when

graders look at your paper and this is

true for the IRR and the IWA the first

thing that we are asked to look at is

your reference page bibliography you

were excited whatever that page is for

you and your in your citation stuff now

for a lot of you the reference page is

the thing you think about last you rush

at the last

and you don't give a lot of time to now

if you're not one of those people and

you do it in advance and you have it

going all along congrats to you you are

doing amazing things but for the rest of

you this shouldn't be an afterthought

because this is actually where we're

going to get our first impression of the

quality and range of evidence that you

are including so as I'm going through as

a grader and I mark some things on here

so you could see when I get down here to

this source here right what I'm noticing

is the Journal of virtual reality so

there's an academic journal that the

student has already used so I'm on the

fourth source and I'm already seeing a

really great source then I go down and I

see the fifth source the American

Journal of play now I have two academic

journals that's awesome because out of

the sources I'm already starting to see

a pattern now if I look at the other

ones I'm not saying any certain kind of

got any motion I've got Aurora which is

a University right I've got a dot org

site and then I've got a Google site

about expeditions okay if I go to the

next page of their bibliography I've got

an education at Autopia that's there

right they would give us information on

education and games and learning which

is what this student is focused on then

I've got another org I've got a Wii form

but then when I go down here here's

another academic journal frontiers in

psychology and that's there and then I

start to see the stimulus material which

is where it says s1 so what I'm noticing

here is if I were grading this this

student has made a commitment to finding

academic sources they also have a

commitment to academic journals as they

have three and they're all three

different journals it's not the same

journal with three different articles

from it because if I'm talking about

range right just using the same journal

doesn't really give us a range and I'm

seeing that they've cited the stimulus

material so already I know that in my

head when I go back into their paper

this student can earn a high score in

evidence because the student has made a

point to find good evidence I can tell

all of this from that reference page now

in contrast when we look at this

students reference page the first

thing I see is this hazing interview

okay that's you know whatever I see

anti-hazing law okay but then I see

Huffington Post I see USA Today I've got

something from Duke but then again I've

got at the bottom NBC news so I'm

starting to see a pattern here of

journalistic sources and if I'm seeing

journalistic sources that means they're

going to news media they're not going to

primary documents for those experts

right if I go the second page I still

have all these ends for news again so

I've got Business Insider

I've got ABC News I've got philly.com

which is the Philly Enquirer so what

this student has done this student

cannot earn a high score in evidence

because they have an over reliance on

news now what I have to then go back and

see if there's anything that's actually

peer reviewed or academic here right in

an easy way to think of peer reviewed is

it was there any process or vetting that

happened before that information was

published okay

was there a formal process do they have

to submit stuff that's my academic

journals are so great because there's a

process of submission and verification

before those things become published if

I look on here I don't see anything

academic in terms of a peer-reviewed

journal and so that student couldn't

even get that middle score if we don't

have those things because that is

required okay so really that reference

page is so important in deciding how

good your evidence is so make sure it's

not an afterthought that you really took

time and intent to think about the

quality of your evidence so when we

think about developing an argument which

was the other part of the row we want to

think about what the function of

evidence actually is and so an easy way

to put this is that evidence should be

used to support extend or complicate

your claims and I put your in all caps

there because this is not just about the

evidence it is about how the evidence is

being used to support extend or

complicate your claims and your argument

support is really easy right it works to

help you prove your point

extend it helps you extend your point to

make it connect further but then the

term complicate what I mean by that is

if I'm trying to flesh out counterclaims

and objections and limitations I have to

take on and I have to be willing to

shoot down and accept so that I can

address those pieces of evidence that

complicate our claim so if we go back to

that Tiger King example I gave you with

Joe exotic right people saying that he

should be pardoned because he was taken

advantage of and he's this good person

in whatever but his niece coming out and

saying I work for him for I don't know

how long he was like ten or so years and

her saying that he's a hundred percent

worse the Netflix showed and he's a

terrible person you have to if you're

trying to make this argument about his

exoneration or his release you have to

confront that complicated evidence that

evidence that doesn't agree and you have

to then be able to handle it and shoot

it down because again it's like

cherry-picking if we only find evidence

that supports our point we're not really

making a convincing argument because

we're relying on the weak version of the

other side and we're just actually

ignoring it and acting like it doesn't

happen okay

you also want to be blatant and explicit

with how the evidence is functioning so

minimally right if I'm saying that

school should start later and I have

this piece of evidence that says and I'm

totally making this up right now but

let's say it says that 60% of kids do

worse in first period than any other

period in the day academically right I

need to make sure what I'm talking about

that evidence I am blatant and explicit

about how this this is then proves that

we need to move school start time back

right

can't can dine for anything you have to

present the meeting and you have to make

sure that we're given that okay and then

the other big thing is that evidence

shouldn't dictate what you say it's not

about what the sources

it's rather it's about how your argument

is dictating it and then the evidence is

used to prove that okay so it's not

about the evidence and in saying here's

what the evidence says and then we're

going along on that path it's that your

argument and then how the evidence is

actually going to be used okay so then

what's the function of commentary okay

because we can't just have our evidence

especially if you look at the rubric

grow it's that connection especially in

ribeirão for about the link between the

evidence and the commentary or the

evidence in the claims right so

commentary is essentially like a bridge

it's going to unite your evidence with

your purpose if we don't have that

connection right then it doesn't work

you have to be blatant and explicit with

how the so what of your evidence

influences your argument and what I mean

by that is you have to tell us that

connection if you don't tell us that

connection we don't know why you use the

evidence we can't infer what it's

supposed to mean a really convincing

argument it's going to put all of those

pieces together and make sure we're on

the same page commentary is what's going

to move your evidence from existing to

actually being a part of your argument

right because evidence does exist but if

we don't intertwine if we don't make it

work it's not actually a part of our

argument and then that's gonna cause us

to not make it strong of a claim or

convincing argument as they want okay so

let's look at what this actually looks

like but before we do I want to show you

how important this is so I took a

snippet from the chief Reed report and

for those of you who are unfamiliar at

the end of reading Archie for your codes

together

they're docked observations that graders

and that she had as well for high

scoring and low scoring the the higher

examples are doing this the lower

examples are doing this it's really

meant to enormity help us do better in

the future

so if you look at the side with the

green these are the things that kids

didn't do well right the kids that were

low scoring consistently did these

things the things in the yellow are the

things that kids did well the kids that

were high scoring did these things look

at the pattern here right lacked

commentary only summarize implied

minimal connections treated all evidence

is equal okay so hopefully you're seeing

that pattern but just in case you aren't

let's see what the high scores did

demonstrated a link between evidence and

claims okay

presented a clear line of reasoning with

a thorough explanation of the links

between claims with a strong student

voice driving to paper provided

commentary to explain the relevance and

credibility and selected relevant

evidence that fully supported the claim

so it should be really obvious to you is

if you lack commentary right if you only

summarize if you imply you're gonna

score poorly if you are directly

connecting if you are linking if you are

clear and thorough with that commentary

and that use of evidence that supports

your student voice which is your

argument you're gonna score high so that

commentary is super important because

that's the link like I said that takes

your paper and your evidence from

existing to being an actual argument

okay so that last line is super

important alright so let's look at the

difference the irr asked for something

completely different than the IWA and

this is also a great example of to see

what it looks like when the emphasis is

on evidence versus the emphasis being on

your argument so just to give you the

highlights and this is a place where you

can pause the video stop and read the

whole paragraph and then come back in

but I know that these become long so I

want to just give you the highlights so

you see what you're looking for okay so

according to Mark D Griffin's director

of the international gaming Research

Unit of nine

Trent University psychology department

and his associate and then it goes on to

give us a piece of evidence from that

first line what should be really clear

is that this is about the source this is

not in any way about an argument that a

student is making it's about what the

evidence is saying okay then we have

this yellow line that follows though

there is generally a positive

relationship that is just meant to

extend what the source is saying and

then we have this second source

according to Hayley Ponce of Nottingham

Trent University so that staying the

University in their article and then

more evidence okay at the bottom again

we have that extension sentence this

socially detrimental behavior is one of

the primary things that separates an

avid gamer from an addicted woman and is

thus one of the major social concerns

regarding IgD so what you have here is

that the evidence is really the

foundation of what's happening this is

about what the evidence says and how

these pieces of evidence are connecting

that's an IRR that should not happen

here if you start your paragraphs and

you notice that you're starting with a

piece of evidence then your argument is

not clear and you need to fix that so

what does it look like when we actually

look at the IWA again

pause the video read through the whole

paragraph and then you can follow along

with my commentary but I'm gonna give

you the short version so if you look at

that first sentence here's a huge

difference already right in addition to

capturing engagement games also foster

motivation and collaboration among

students that greatly benefit them

academically and socially so from the

first sentence that I've read right look

go back according to Mark D Griffiths

so I already am talking about a source

in this one however the student has

started with a sub claim or a reason

right this student is arguing why we

need to use gaming more in the classroom

and so what we're seeing from this first

line is that games foster motivation and

collaboration and they benefit kids

academically and socially the only thing

the student didn't say if I wanted to be

really blatant and connect back which is

why we should use games in the classroom

more then the student says contrary to

the belief that they cause aunt Assoc

allottee anti socio social sorry

talk too fast their concentrations

Blazers video games cause anti sociology

they actually help develop social and

cooperation skills as gamers are

connected to family friends and even

more from people around the world so the

big idea here is that they're starting

with a counterclaims they're addressing

that complicated evidence then what

they're doing is they're coming back to

as mentioned earlier McGonigle's so now

we got the stimulus which is great but

she's then explaining that when they're

on the verge of an epic win so we go

back to the yellow because that's the

students voice the student trying to

bring all of this stuff together this

epic win applies to students because

rather than giving up they are more

inclined to persevere through a

difficult lesson which improves their

academic achievement right so this

student has taken evidence and it's not

about the evidence but now it's about

how the evidence proves the point that

is a huge thing here so we want to make

sure that it's the student voice that's

driving the organization the composition

the paragraph not just the evidence okay

so if you need a second to look back

over this paragraph again this is what

it should do if you rewind the video and

go back to that other slide that is not

what it should do because that paragraph

that one we just looked at was about the

evidence this is about the student voice

the student argument it has to be used

to extend complicate or support your

claims if your claims are missing that

is a problem okay all right so then if

we actually look at integration and we

think about well how do we actually

include this in and what should it look

like so just to give you some some idea

of how I coded the yellow is meant to be

the claims or the student argument where

the student is arguing the green is

their evidence and then

look at that position right you notice

that the yellow is the color that we see

the most we also notice that the

evidence the green sections aren't super

large in composition or in just one

chunk so the student has a claim

provides some evidence then tries to

connect it to another piece of evidence

another claim another piece of evidence

and then we're backing it up so the

student is really making a well-rounded

argument again pause the video read

through the paragraph here but what you

will notice as you go through and this

is just a selection of a student's

paragraph it's not the whole thing but

this student is making claim the use of

games in education increases students

interaction and engagement with content

deepening their learning experience

consequently this helps students retain

more information so game he's gonna help

kids retain information and then there's

gonna be evidence used to support extend

and complicate right and then we've got

that conversation Shapiro supports this

other study from Stanford and then

here's why okay so look at the

difference let's look at this next

integration first thing that should

stand out you don't even need to read

anything if you just look at the color

coding green is overwhelming the

paragraph right so we have two sentences

a total of two that are common to the

rest this is all summary description and

explanation explanation right these are

all examples now as you look at this you

may say well I'm not seeing quotes the

whole time well you don't have to see it

in quotes anything that is a piece of

evidence that is paraphrased or

summarized that's still evidence

description it's not advancing the

argument so what you'll see in here

carbon dioxide is a greenhouse gas that

absorbs heat in the atmosphere

concentrations of the gas are rising

right according to nuclear Association

fossil fuel plants and then it continues

we have big large chunks of evidence

with no clear argument

note there so again if you pause it you

can look at it in more depth so what I

then did is I said okay if this were a

student's paper and I was that student

how would I rewrite this how could I

make it better how can I improve my

integration so look at the difference

okay now if you notice there's still a

lot of green right now but what I did do

is I left where the commentary could

continue so then if I saw this whole

paragraph the yellow would actually keep

extending I didn't want to rewrite the

whole thing to be quite so although

expensive to run countries should invest

more money in nuclear power plants

because they are better for the climate

and more reliable sources of energy now

let's look at the difference right this

one started with a description carbon

dioxide is a greenhouse gas that absorbs

heat this one started with a claim the

country should invest more money in

nuclear power plants you didn't know

this student was talking about nuclear

power plants from the first few

sentences it wasn't even clear right

there's a huge difference because now my

point is clear so the evidence is

actually serving that purpose then when

we look in the green some may disagree

claiming that what most countries are

currently doing investing in fossil

fuels is the better operation so now I'm

addressing that complicated evidence and

then I'm going to take it on and I'm

going to obviously offer my rebuttal

however according to the world nuclear

Association fossil fuel power plants

burn carbon fuels such as oil and gas to

generate steam that drives large

turbines and produces electricity

this results in reliable energy right

now the sources are working for me

rather than the evidence feeling

separate one little side note just as an

English teacher I feel the need to tell

you you do not have to use folk coats

obviously hopefully you know that but if

you look in here brackets if you're

unfamiliar with what brackets mean if

you take information out of a quote the

bracket signals to a reader that you've

taken that information out a lot of

times I like to use as you see this

produces to help the grammar flow with

my sentence and the quote don't change

the integrity of the quote but if you

need to take out a word or change a

tense to help it actually fit your

sentence more

then brackets are how you signal to an

audience that you've actually done that

okay but as you notice then we go back

to the yellow commentary given the

amount of pollution and damage caused by

the world's reliance on fossil fuels

it's important to invest in energy

sources that are healthier thus where

nuclear energy emerges as a best option

and then I've got room to continue my

commentary again so much better than the

integration here because here the the

quotes were the emphasis that was what

was important verses in here what we

have is that the claims are really

dictating where the evidence goes okay

so when we think about integration a

couple things I want to emphasize to you

and I may use a metaphor my students

know I like this but just to make it

really easy when you're evaluating your

own evidence and you're thinking about

integration before we get to this little

easy checklist that you can use and what

my brother lived in Chicago he lives in

a high-rise that was 50 floors up and

there was an elevator that was floors 1

through 30 and another elevator that was

30 through 50 now I hate closed spaces

and Heights so is this like the worst

thing was to go visit my brother um so

when I would get on the elevator I would

hope that nobody else would hit any

button so I could get straight to the

50th floor where he lived and then feel

like it was one smooth ride but if other

people got on and we stopped on every

floor the ride felt really choppy and it

felt longer than it needed to be and I

also had this struggle with like why why

are we stopping here this is unnecessary

so if you think about that in terms of

integration it should be like a smooth

elevator right we shouldn't even know

that your sources are there they're

laying the foundation and we're passing

each floor on our ride but they're so

well integrated that it feels like a

smooth ride right we're making this

really strong argument and the evidence

is coming along it's a part of our ride

if we have to stop and if we can feel

the elevator ride we can feel it stop

and we feel each piece of evidence then

it's stopping your argument and stopping

the progression and it's making it feel

bulky it's also causing us to wonder

what's the point right I thought we were

on one ride but instead

think of it is thinking there's a really

smooth elevator right right especially

if you're like me claustrophobic until

it like Heights you want to make sure

you get through that as quick as

possible but you're gonna convince me

more when the f

since its actually synthesized oh now

let's stop on floor 31 here's a piece of

evidence and then we continue a little

use floor 32 here's another piece of

evidence right that doesn't feel like

it's convincing of an argument as if

it's one troll right okay so just a nice

just a reminder for integration when you

think about evaluating your own evidence

this is a really easy way for you to go

through because remember you're going to

evaluate your evidence how it's used in

the paper but also through your

bibliography reference page or we're

excited so number one we're looking at

relevant credible and sufficient to get

to that high score so does your paper

cite a range of sources and yes to a

degree or no if your degree just assume

it's an oh right because we all want to

score those higher scores rather than be

in the middle and nothing can be implied

the paper directly cites multiple

divergent or contradictory perspectives

right again we're shooting free yes the

paper uses evidence from a range of

sources to develop and support its

arguments it uses relevant and credible

sources to develop an argument roughly

half of the evidence is from academic

and scholarly works the paper presents a

clear argument there's a debate it's not

just facts and it uses evidence to

support that argument evidence is not

simply stated it's used to persuade or

prove or convince okay keep in mind that

this is a great place to just stop the

video pause it go back through and see

how well you've done and start with your

reference page or bibliography because

you can gain a lot of knowledge there

again we've got the score notes at the

bottom relevant evidence is synthesized

right that's smooth elevator ride is

going to get you that high score and

your variety of sources and their

scholarly evidence is used but it's

maybe inconsistent and it's somewhat

varied but maybe one type of evidence is

dominating and then below no academic or

scholarly sources even if you have

twenty sources if you don't have

academic or scholarly you're not scoring

high and it's not used to support an

argument okay so some final advice when

it comes to the use of evidence remember

less is more essential information only

use key words and excerpts don't use

full quotes unless you absolutely have

to if you have to use full

those real long ones make sure you

follow your style guide because most of

the time any quote that's longer than

four lines is considered a blockquote

or needs to have special formatting so

make sure you do that and then

commentary is so much better we want to

see more of that and minimally go

through your paper and color code put

every piece of evidence paraphrase

summary in one color and then put your

own words or your commentary in another

color and then see what that ratio looks

like do you have more commentary okay

and then again use proper grammar again

I'm an English teacher so I'm going to

emphasize the grammar as much as I can

um comma and then the quote right and

then if you look on here remember our

period or punctuation for our formatting

goes after the parentheses not before if

we use brackets we're signalling that

we've changed something and then finally

one piece of advice I want to give to

give a shout out to a wonderful

University in Indiana who is an awesome

supporter of the capstone program but at

Purdue University amazing University and

has an online Writing Lab that is

awesome it's called Purdue owl if you

have questions about formatting about

grammar please go there not only are

they great supporters of the program but

they have comprehensive and wonderful

information that will help you as you

try to make sure that your paper is

clear in its formatting and also in your

presentation of ideas okay so just a

reminder of what we've done today

remember we talked about interpreting

using and synthesizing data from a

variety of perspectives to support an

argument hopefully you understand now

how to incorporate evidence how what

makes evidence sufficient relevant

incredible and then how to use

commentary to connect your evidence and

claim ok next steps evaluate the use and

quality of your evidence

minimally try to do that highlighting

that I talked about where you can see

what the ratio looks like and compose a

rough draft of your entire argument

including your bibliography reference

page we're excited because remember that

should not be an afterthought ok and

then return to your research clip in to

make sure there is alignment between

your question and your argument now that

once you've written your rough draft you

actually know where you went on your

trip so go back and

showed that there is a match between

what you said you were going to do and

what you actually did and and don't make

this harder than it needs to be if the

question doesn't match don't rewrite the

whole paper rewrite the question to make

it match what you actually did argue you

have no argument then obviously you need

to fix the whole thing okay as always if

you have any device or internet access

issues please reach out to college more

directly so they can help you they are

committed to that equity and access and

the contact is on the bottom for you to

reach out thank you for following along

with lesson eight mr. Gonzalez and I

will join you for Lesson nine and then

I'll see you again lesson 10