Going from Shy to Confident | Tharasak Chhim | TEDxYouth@PennSchool

Summary

In this motivational speech, the speaker discusses overcoming shyness and building confidence. By addressing the spotlight effect, stepping out of comfort zones, and embracing small changes, the speaker shares personal insights on how confidence can be developed. Key strategies include trying new things, dressing well, surrounding yourself with positive people, and cultivating the right mentality. The speaker emphasizes that confidence is a process, built over time with patience and self-reflection, and encourages the audience to embrace their unique strengths and be patient with their personal growth.

Takeaways

• 😀 Shyness is a natural part of being human, and everyone experiences it at some point.
• 😀 The spotlight effect makes people believe others are paying more attention to them than they actually are.
• 😀 Trying new things helps step out of the comfort zone and into the 'magic zone' of personal growth.
• 😀 Confidence is built gradually through small steps, such as starting with small goals and building momentum.
• 😀 Dressing well can positively influence self-esteem and how others perceive you, boosting confidence.
• 😀 Surrounding yourself with positive people can help improve confidence by offering support and encouragement.
• 😀 Small achievements can lead to big successes, so focus on incremental progress.
• 😀 The process of building confidence takes time, so be patient and celebrate small victories along the way.
• 😀 A positive mindset is crucial, even in challenging situations. Approach things with confidence and belief in yourself.
• 😀 Confidence is not about seeking approval from others, but about being fine even if others don’t like you.

Q & A

What is the spotlight effect mentioned in the talk?

The spotlight effect is a psychological phenomenon where individuals overestimate how much people are paying attention to them. In the talk, the speaker explains that we often worry about things like our appearance or mistakes because we believe others are focused on them, when in reality, most people are too preoccupied with their own concerns to notice.

How does the speaker suggest overcoming shyness?

The speaker suggests several ways to overcome shyness, such as acknowledging the spotlight effect, stepping out of your comfort zone, starting small to build confidence, dressing well, surrounding yourself with positive people, and maintaining a patient mindset throughout the journey of building confidence.

What is meant by the 'magic zone'?

The 'magic zone' refers to the space that lies beyond your comfort zone, where real growth happens. The speaker encourages taking risks and trying new things, as doing so will allow you to discover your capabilities and achieve surprising results.

Why is it important to start small when trying to build confidence?

Starting small allows you to gain momentum and gradually build up to larger achievements. By taking small steps towards a goal, such as exercising a few minutes a day or reading for short periods, you can avoid feeling overwhelmed and develop the confidence necessary to tackle bigger challenges.

How can dressing well help with confidence?

Dressing well can positively affect how you feel about yourself and how others perceive you. The speaker explains that when you take time to dress well, especially in situations that make you feel uncertain, such as job interviews or first dates, it can give you a confidence boost.

What role do positive people play in building confidence?

Positive people provide encouragement, feedback, and support, which can help boost your self-esteem and confidence. The speaker credits his friend Ben for helping him gain the confidence to enter a competition, demonstrating how surrounding yourself with the right people can inspire and motivate you.

What does the speaker mean by 'confidence is a process'?

Confidence isn't something that happens overnight. The speaker emphasizes that building confidence takes time and requires patience. It's important to celebrate small successes along the way and avoid rushing the process of personal growth.

What is the importance of mentality in building confidence?

Mentality is crucial in building confidence because how you perceive challenges can influence how you respond to them. The speaker shares his mindset when he was the last to present in a TED talk—he saw it as an opportunity to set the bar high for others, instead of feeling discouraged, which ultimately contributed to his confidence.

What does the quote 'Confidence is not ‘they will like me,’ Confidence is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t’’ mean?

This quote highlights that true confidence comes from within. It’s not about seeking approval or fearing rejection. Instead, it's about being comfortable with yourself and accepting that you’ll be okay even if others don't like you.

What are some practical ways to gradually build confidence, according to the speaker?

Practical ways to build confidence include trying new things to step out of your comfort zone, starting small to create momentum, dressing well for certain situations, surrounding yourself with positive influences, and maintaining a patient mindset as you work on improving yourself.