How to Make Someone Choose YOU (Even if They Have Lots of Options)

Summary

This video explores the psychological aspect of decision-making in dating, comparing it to the anxiety of choosing a meal at a restaurant. The speaker emphasizes the importance of certainty in both contexts. Instead of trying to convince others to commit, we can represent the certainty they need to make confident choices in relationships. By understanding and confidently conveying what we want in a partner, we can make ourselves a more attractive and reassuring option. The speaker encourages developing this sense of certainty and offers a free event to help viewers apply this strategy in their dating lives.

Takeaways

• 😀 Dating today often feels overwhelming, like choosing from a huge menu, leading to decision paralysis and commitment anxiety.
• 😀 The key to overcoming dating uncertainty is projecting a sense of certainty, which reassures others and helps them make confident decisions.
• 😀 Like a good waiter recommending a dish, you must confidently recommend yourself and what you bring to a relationship.
• 😀 People often struggle to commit because they are nervous about making the wrong choice, especially when presented with too many options.
• 😀 Certainty is not about arrogance but about being clear on your values, what you want, and what you bring to the table in relationships.
• 😀 Representing certainty in dating helps others feel safe in their decision to commit, reducing their anxiety about making the wrong choice.
• 😀 Just like a good waiter directs you to the best option, in dating, you should guide others by confidently showing why you're a great choice.
• 😀 People often don’t know what they want in a partner until you show them, and your certainty can help them realize you’re what they need.
• 😀 By embodying clarity and certainty about your desires and boundaries, you attract the kind of commitment you want in a partner.
• 😀 To build certainty, it’s important to know what you value, what you don’t want, and to confidently express your expectations in dating.
• 😀 Projecting an infectious sense of certainty allows you to attract people who are ready for commitment without needing to convince them.

Q & A

Why is modern dating considered one of the hardest times in history to get someone to commit?

Modern dating is challenging due to the prevalence of casual relationships, emotionally unavailable people, and individuals who are hesitant to commit due to past experiences or beliefs about monogamy. The abundance of choices available through dating apps adds to the anxiety and difficulty of making a commitment.

What is the key psychological insight discussed in the video?

The key psychological insight is the concept of 'certainty.' In both dating and decision-making, providing a clear and confident recommendation (like a certain waiter at a restaurant) can help reduce anxiety and make others more willing to commit.

How does the restaurant analogy relate to dating?

The restaurant analogy illustrates how, just as customers feel overwhelmed by a large menu of options, individuals in dating often experience anxiety from too many choices. In both scenarios, providing a clear and confident recommendation can help people feel reassured and make decisions more easily.

What role does certainty play in decision-making, both in food and relationships?

Certainty reassures people and reduces anxiety, making them feel more confident in their choices. In the context of relationships, showing certainty about what you value and want in a partner can help others feel secure in their decision to commit.

What are the three scenarios presented in the restaurant example, and how do they relate to dating?

The three scenarios are: 1) A waiter with a hopeless expression offering no help, 2) A waiter giving a lackluster recommendation, and 3) A confident waiter offering a clear, passionate recommendation. In dating, these scenarios represent different approaches to how we present ourselves and the energy we convey about commitment. Scenario 3, where the recommendation is clear and confident, is the most effective in fostering commitment.

What does the video suggest about how to make someone want to commit in a relationship?

The video suggests that you should represent certainty by clearly expressing what you want and value in a partner. This creates an environment where the other person feels secure in making the decision to commit to you.

How can one develop the type of certainty that makes others want to commit?

Certainty can be developed by being clear about what you are looking for in a relationship, what you value, and what you don't want. This type of self-awareness and confidence helps reduce uncertainty, making others more comfortable committing to a relationship.

Why is it important to recommend yourself confidently in dating, according to the script?

It is important to confidently recommend yourself in dating because simply saying 'everyone's great' or being passive about your own qualities leaves others uncertain. By actively showcasing why you are a great match, you help them make a clear, confident decision.

What is the difference between certainty and arrogance in the context of relationships?

Certainty in relationships is based on self-awareness, understanding what you want, and valuing yourself. It’s not about being arrogant or believing you are better than others, but rather about being confident in what you bring to the table and what you need from a partner.

How can individuals apply the psychological principle of certainty in their dating life?

Individuals can apply certainty by being clear and assertive about what they want in a partner, what values they hold, and what they are looking for in a relationship. This creates a strong, confident presence that encourages others to step up and commit.