The Problem With Never Feeling Proud Of Yourself

Summary

The video explores the science of pride, as outlined by Dr. Jessica Tracy in 'Pride: The Secret of Success'. It posits pride as a vital emotion for personal growth, driving motivation, confidence, and perseverance. Pride, an evolutionary adaptation, signals our value and success, propelling us to achieve and excel. The video differentiates between authentic pride, rooted in personal achievements, and hubristic pride, which stems from a sense of superiority. It encourages viewers to seek pride in meaningful actions and achievements, suggesting that recognizing and celebrating one's efforts can lead to a fulfilling, motivated life.

Takeaways

• 🧠 Pride is an emotion that serves as a motivational force, driving individuals to achieve and excel.
• 🎯 Pride is linked to our sense of identity and self-worth, pushing us to meet or exceed our personal goals.
• 🏗️ Pride is an evolutionary adaptation that has helped humans demonstrate value and secure higher social standing within groups.
• 💪 Authentic pride comes from personal achievements and hard work, whereas hubristic pride is an inflated sense of self-importance without basis.
• 🚀 Experiencing pride can lead to a cycle of positive behaviors, where one accomplishment motivates further achievements.
• 🌱 Lowering the bar for what constitutes as 'pride-worthy' can help individuals feel motivated more regularly.
• 🌟 Authentic pride is about recognizing and appreciating one's own efforts and behaviors, not comparing oneself to others.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Health is an area where many can cultivate pride through various daily actions that contribute to well-being.
• 🔍 Noticing and acknowledging what one is already doing well can be a source of pride and further motivation.
• 🛑 Excessive pride can lead to negative traits like arrogance and egotism, so it's important to maintain a balance and stay humble.
• 🌈 The motivational power of pride can be harnessed to pursue goals, develop skills, and improve various aspects of life.

Q & A

What is the main topic discussed in the video script?

The main topic discussed in the video script is the concept of pride, its importance, and how it can be used as a motivational force to achieve personal goals and become one's best self.

According to the script, what is the difference between authentic pride and hubristic pride?

Authentic pride is the feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment that arises from one's own actions and achievements, while hubristic pride is a sense of superiority over others, often without basis in one's actions or behavior.

How does the script suggest using pride as a motivational tool?

The script suggests using pride as a motivational tool by engaging in actions that lead to a sense of accomplishment and by recognizing and feeling good about the positive behaviors and achievements in one's life.

What is the evolutionary purpose of pride according to the script?

The evolutionary purpose of pride, as described in the script, is to motivate individuals to become valuable members of their social groups by developing skills, demonstrating success, and contributing to the group's survival.

How does the script define pride in the context of personal development?

In the context of personal development, pride is defined as a pleasant emotion experienced when one works towards or achieves something meaningful, which contributes to one's sense of identity and self-worth.

What are some examples of behaviors or actions that can lead to feeling proud, as mentioned in the script?

Examples of behaviors or actions that can lead to feeling proud include achieving a goal, facing a fear, overcoming a tough obstacle, working hard on something difficult, doing something new, or putting in more effort than before.

How does the script relate pride to the concept of 'small wins'?

The script relates pride to the concept of 'small wins' by suggesting that pride can take us to the next level, where one behavior that makes us proud can lead to a cycle of other behaviors that also make us proud, resulting in a self-fulfilling cycle of positive actions.

What is the motivational hypothesis of pride as discussed in the script?

The motivational hypothesis of pride, as discussed in the script, posits that when an individual feels proud about a recognized accomplishment, they are more likely to pursue further action in that domain, with the positive feeling of their global self reinforcing the repetition of behaviors that lead to pride and motivate them to pursue higher achievements.

How does the script suggest one can lower the bar for feeling proud?

The script suggests lowering the bar for feeling proud by recognizing and valuing any meaningful movement in a positive direction, regardless of the scale of the achievement, and allowing oneself to feel good about even small, positive actions taken.

What is the potential downside of pride mentioned in the script, and how can it be avoided?

The potential downside of pride mentioned in the script is that it can lead to arrogance, egotism, and a struggle to admit mistakes if it becomes hubristic pride. This can be avoided by ensuring that the pride one feels is based on one's actions and efforts, rather than on a sense of inherent superiority.

Outlines

00:00

😀 Introduction to the Power of Pride

The video script begins with an exploration of the concept of pride, asking viewers to reflect on their personal achievements and feelings of self-worth. It introduces the idea that pride is not just an emotion but a powerful motivator for personal growth and success. The script references Dr. Jessica Tracy's book 'Pride: The Secret of Success' to emphasize the importance of pride in driving motivation, increasing confidence, and fostering self-control. The video promises to delve into what pride is, its evolutionary purpose, and how it can be harnessed for personal development.

05:02

🎭 The Role of Pride in Personal and Societal Progress

This paragraph delves into the broader implications of pride, discussing its role in personal fulfillment and societal contribution. It suggests that pride is an evolutionary adaptation that has driven humans to develop skills and contribute to their communities. The script contrasts the pursuit of pride with the negative feelings of shame and highlights the motivational power of pride in achieving goals, developing new skills, and overcoming challenges. The paragraph also touches on the importance of self-awareness and the role of pride in personal identity and self-worth.

10:03

🧠 The Science Behind Pride and Motivation

The script explains the neurological basis for the motivational effects of pride. It discusses how the anticipation of pride can spark interest and action, and how the experience of pride acts as an internal reward, leading to a release of dopamine and an increased likelihood of repeating the behavior. The paragraph further explores the idea that pride can lead to a cycle of positive behaviors, contributing to a sense of achievement and personal growth. It also raises questions about the potential negative consequences of not experiencing pride.

15:04

🚶‍♂️ Steps to Cultivating Pride and Its Benefits

This paragraph provides practical advice on how to cultivate pride in one's life. It emphasizes the importance of setting achievable goals, recognizing and celebrating small victories, and engaging in meaningful activities. The script encourages viewers to lower their expectations for what constitutes an achievement worthy of pride, suggesting that any positive action can be a source of pride. It also highlights the benefits of pride, such as increased motivation, self-control, and a sense of fulfillment, and contrasts these with the potential downsides of excessive self-criticism and lack of self-recognition.

🌟 Harnessing Pride for Personal Growth and Health

The final paragraph focuses on specific areas where pride can be cultivated, such as health and personal development. It provides examples of health-related activities that can contribute to feelings of pride, like exercising, eating well, and meditating. The script also stresses the importance of recognizing and appreciating one's current achievements, rather than solely focusing on future goals. It concludes with a cautionary note about the potential negative aspects of pride, such as arrogance and egotism, and differentiates between authentic pride based on actions and hubristic pride based on a sense of superiority.

Keywords

💡Pride

Pride, in the context of this video, is defined as the pleasant emotion we experience when we achieve something meaningful or work towards a goal that aligns with our identity. It's a key theme of the video, as it is presented as a powerful motivator for personal growth and achievement. For example, the script mentions that pride can lead to increased confidence, self-control, and perseverance, which are all crucial for personal development.

💡Authentic Pride

Authentic pride is a specific type of pride that arises when we feel good about ourselves because of our actions and achievements. It is distinguished from hubristic pride and is closely tied to the video's message, as it is suggested that cultivating authentic pride can lead to a positive cycle of behavior and self-improvement. The script illustrates this by discussing how recognizing and feeling good about our efforts and accomplishments can motivate us to continue pursuing our goals.

💡Hubristic Pride

Hubristic pride is contrasted with authentic pride in the video and is described as a form of pride that stems from an inflated sense of self-worth or superiority, often without the backing of tangible achievements. It is portrayed as negative and potentially harmful, as it can lead to arrogance and a lack of empathy for others. The script warns against this type of pride, emphasizing the importance of authentic pride that is grounded in personal effort and accomplishment.

💡Self-Motivation

Self-motivation is a central concept in the video, referring to the internal drive that compels individuals to take action and pursue their goals. The video suggests that pride, particularly authentic pride, is a key component of self-motivation. It is exemplified through the idea that feeling proud of our achievements can inspire us to set and meet further challenges, creating a cycle of positive behavior.

💡Self-Fulfilling Cycle

The self-fulfilling cycle is a psychological phenomenon discussed in the video where an initial behavior that generates pride leads to further behaviors that also generate pride. This concept is integral to the video's message, as it suggests that by engaging in actions that make us proud, we can create a positive feedback loop that propels us towards greater achievements and personal growth.

💡Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is the subjective evaluation of one's own worth, which is closely related to the video's discussion on pride. The video implies that individuals with higher self-esteem are more likely to experience authentic pride, as they have a more positive view of themselves and their capabilities. This, in turn, can lead to a greater sense of fulfillment and motivation to pursue personal goals.

💡Drive and Motivation

Drive and motivation are presented in the video as essential forces that propel individuals towards success and personal development. Pride is depicted as a significant source of this drive and motivation, as it can inspire individuals to push beyond their limits and achieve more than they initially expected of themselves.

💡Fulfillment

Fulfillment, in the context of the video, refers to the sense of satisfaction and completeness that arises from achieving meaningful goals. The video suggests that pride plays a crucial role in fostering a sense of fulfillment, as it is the emotional reward we receive when we recognize our achievements and progress towards our aspirations.

💡Self-Control

Self-control is the ability to regulate one's own behavior, emotions, and impulses, and it is highlighted in the video as a key benefit of experiencing pride. The script explains that pride can enhance self-control, enabling individuals to persevere in the face of setbacks and resist temptations, which is vital for achieving long-term goals.

💡Evolutionary Adaptation

The video presents pride as an evolutionary adaptation, suggesting that it has developed as a means for individuals to demonstrate their value and success to others, thereby securing a higher social ranking within their group. This concept underpins the video's exploration of pride, as it provides a scientific perspective on why pride is an important emotion for human behavior and social interaction.

💡Self-Worth

Self-worth is the intrinsic value and dignity that an individual ascribes to themselves, and it is a fundamental aspect of the video's narrative on pride. The video posits that pride can enhance self-worth by affirming one's abilities and achievements, which contributes to a more positive self-image and a greater sense of personal value.

Highlights

Pride is an emotion experienced when achieving something meaningful to oneself.

Dr. Jessica Tracy's book 'Pride: The Secret of Success' explores the science of pride.

Lack of pride can destroy a source of motivation and fulfillment.

Pride increases confidence, self-control, and the ability to persevere through setbacks.

Pride is linked to a cycle of positive behaviors leading to a fulfilling life.

Pride is an evolutionary adaptation to demonstrate value and success within a group.

Pride motivates individuals to become more valuable and skilled.

Authentic pride is about actions and achievements, not inherent superiority.

Hubristic pride, in contrast, is based on a sense of inherent superiority and can lead to arrogance.

Pride can guide individuals towards self-improvement and skill development.

Experiencing pride can lead to a chain reaction of positive behaviors.

Pride can be cultivated through small, meaningful actions in one's life.

Health is an easy area in which to cultivate pride through various daily behaviors.

Noticing and acknowledging one's own achievements can foster pride.

Pride can be a powerful motivator for pursuing goals and interests.

The video suggests that learning to feel proud of oneself can be a game changer for personal growth.

The importance of differentiating between authentic pride and hubristic pride for personal development.

The video encourages viewers to use the concept of pride to enhance motivation and self-worth.

Transcripts

(projector clicking) (projector whirring)

- At this exact moment, how do you feel about yourself?

(air booming)

Like when was the last time you felt really proud

of something that you'd done?

You pushed yourself.

You went above your own expectations.

You noticed how far you've come.

You made progress on something

that you were working really hard towards,

and you just feel like, "You know what?

"I'm proud of myself. I'm doing great.

"I feel good about who I am and where I'm going."

Well, if you don't have an answer,

(fingers clicking)

like that,

if you've been feeling a lot more shame

than pride these days,

either because you're not doing the right things

to make yourself proud,

or you're just one of those people

who's so hard on themselves

that they don't notice when they should be proud,

well then, according to the science of pride

and Dr. Jessica Tracy, the author of this book,

"Pride: The Secret of Success,"

and one of the leading researchers into pride,

if you're not feeling pride on a regular basis,

then you're destroying an incredible source

of drive and motivation and fulfillment.

You're missing out on something that has the power

to help you become your best possible self,

to increase your confidence, your self-control,

your ability to persevere in the face of setbacks.

You've heard of the power of small wins.

Well, pride takes us to the next level.

If we're not feeling pride,

we're missing out on this whole self-fulfilling cycle

where one behavior that makes us proud

results in another behavior that makes us proud

results in another behavior that makes us proud,

where you're just stacking wins,

feeling amazing and fulfilled and confident in the process.

And, as someone who struggles with feeling proud of myself,

learning about this idea has been a game changer for me,

and I'm super excited to share it with you too.

In today's video, I'm gonna teach you

what pride actually is,

why it's so important to start feeling it right now,

how to use pride to motivate yourself,

plus all those negative associations about pride

and where they come from.

So, first off, what exactly is pride?

Well, it turns out pride is actually an emotion.

Pride is the pleasant emotion we experience

when we're working toward or we've achieved something

that's meaningful to us.

- [Dr Jessica Tracy] It's an emotion

that's all about the self,

and we feel it when we see ourselves

as meeting or even exceeding some goal

that we have for our identity,

for the kind of person we want to be.

So pride's what we feel when we feel like,

"Hey, you know what?

"I'm doing something or becoming something

"that I really want to be."

- It's feeling good about ourselves

because of something that we've done.

And it turns out that this feeling

performs a very important function.

It exists to motivate you to do great things.

Yeah. Seriously.

We apparently have a built-in emotional system

meant to push us to do great things.

But before we can explain how it motivates us

and how we can use it to motivate ourselves,

we first need to explain a little of why we even have it

in the first place.

(projector whirring)

So, apparently, pride is an evolutionary adaptation.

We evolved to feel pride as a means of becoming

and demonstrating to other people that we are valuable,

that we are successful, resourceful,

that we can do important things

and are therefore deserving

of a higher social ranking within our group.

But pride isn't just about showing off.

It's about being driven,

being motivated to do things worth showing off about.

Pride is about becoming the type of person

worth being proud of.

Why?

Because if the year is 10,000 BC,

and we're all living in hunter-gatherer tribes,

everyone needs to be valuable.

Everyone needs to have unique skills

that contribute to the group's survival.

And the more valuable you were to the group,

the more other people cared whether you lived or died.

So the woman who had specialized knowledge

about medicinal plants because that's what she was drawn to,

or the guy who made the sharpest arrows

because that's what he was drawn to, that was his craft,

these people will be very valuable members of their groups,

and, as a result, other members of the group

would be more than willing to support these people,

care for these people, cooperate with these people,

mate with these people.

People needed a pull toward acts

that would make others value them.

"The feeling of pride is an internal reward

"that draws us towards such acts."

So pride exists essentially to guide you toward,

to motivate you toward doing stuff

that makes you a more valuable human being.

And if you think about that,

that means it could be motivating you

to do anything from achieving goals

to skill development and honing of any sort,

to motivating curiosity and discovery

and knowledge of the world,

to motivating you to be healthy and strong.

And it's even part of why

we're into really, really niche hobbies

because you need people to pursue

a wide variety of skills and interests.

You need people to follow their own unique curiosities

and likes and desires,

and you need people to be so invested

in whatever it is they're chasing,

that they don't just give up when it gets hard.

And, therefore, if we want to feel more motivated

to do all of these things, maybe pride is the answer.

But pride isn't just about making ourselves valuable

to society, especially now.

Because we have self-awareness,

pride is also about making ourselves valuable to ourselves.

Part of the motivational power of pride

is that we have selves we want to feel good about.

We have identities,

and we're motivated to make the most of them.

So pride is heavily interested by you:

your own interests and values.

It's the sense of confidence,

the genuine feelings of self-worth, accomplishment.

Pride is that pleasant, fulfilling feeling we experience

when we know we're putting in the effort that we need

to achieve something we care about.

And this kind of makes it sound like pride

is all about goals and winning.

And that's a big part of what it helps us do,

but it's also more than that too.

You know, the movie "Forgetting Sarah Marshall,"

where Peter is dissatisfied with his life

because, among other things, he's working a job

that makes him great money,

but is kind of soul sucking and corporate.

And what he really wants to do is make his Dracula musical,

and he makes it, and he's living out his dreams,

and he is all fulfilled and happy and...

That whole situation,

(bell ringing) is also related to pride

because pride is also about working on projects

that feel very us,

making progress and achieving and creating things

in areas that only we find meaningful.

So that might mean motivating you

to pursue a Dracula musical

or knowing every fact on earth about cars

or staying up late at night

researching whatever obscure interest you're into.

Asking ourselves, "What it is in life

"that makes us feel that sense of pride,"

this question can potentially point us in the direction

of the kind of self that we want to be,

which means that if you haven't made yourself proud

in a while,

you can't think of a time that you less felt pride,

maybe it's because you're not doing enough for yourself,

you're not bringing enough of you into the world.

(projector whirring)

So humans evolved to feel pride, to pull us toward behaviors

that would make us better people, to make us more skilled,

more knowledgeable, more creative, more important,

to literally seek out opportunities for us to become better.

So what this means for us is,

if we want to become our best possible selves,

we need to know how to make ourselves proud.

If we want to feel motivated,

if we want to feel really driven to be good at something,

to learn a new skill, to get fit, to crush our goals,

we need to learn how to make ourselves proud.

So here's apparently how it works in your brain

according to this study.

When your brain suspects a behavior, a project, a task

could possibly bring you pride

or make you feel good about yourself,

it makes you interested in doing that thing,

it makes you want to take action.

Then the next thing that happens is,

once you take action and you actually do feel pride,

that pleasant feeling you experience

when you make yourself proud,

works as an internal reward.

In other words, you get a dopamine hit.

And here's why that's motivational.

When any behavior is rewarded,

that behavior becomes more likely to happen again.

Once you experience a reward for behavior,

your brain will motivate you to do that behavior again.

Example: you feel proud that you cleaned the bathroom

after putting it off for a while,

and then you find yourself vacuuming a short while later.

You felt good about cleaning up and being a tidy person,

so your brain was like, "Hmm, I'd like to feel that again.

"Let me clean another thing."

But there's more.

On top of this, because pride is a reward

you're experiencing toward yourself,

pride is a good feeling about you,

who you are and what you've done.

That means that by experiencing pride,

you're increasing the likelihood

of all self-oriented positive behavior.

In other words, doing one thing that makes you feel proud

increases your chance of doing anything

that makes you feel proud.

So you do one thing that makes you feel good about yourself,

and then you want to do another one

and then another one, and then another one.

And then suddenly you're riding this high

of crushing your goals, making progress,

making good choices.

You're potentially suddenly striving in all ways

to make your life better.

Example: you feel proud

'cause you got up really early on a Saturday morning

when you normally sleep in late.

Now you have a little extra time, so you think,

"You know what? I'm gonna meditate."

You meditate. It goes well.

And so you're like, "I'm gonna go to the gym today."

And while you're there, you really push yourself.

You have an amazing workout.

You leave the gym feeling like a million bucks.

When you get home,

you make a really healthy breakfast

and decide to eat it while reading a book

instead of scrolling on your phone.

That's literally how it works.

Feeling good about yourself leads to more behaviors

that make you feel good about yourself.

So whatever the opposite

of a vicious circle is, it's that. (laughs)

According to the motivational hypothesis of pride,

"When feeling proud about a recognized accomplishment,

"an individual will feel incentive

"to pursue further action in that domain.

"The positive feeling of our global self

"reinforces us to repeat the behaviors

"which lead us to feel proud

"and motivates us to pursue higher achievements."

In other words, if you want to feel motivated

to do the thing, to do all the things,

you're gonna have to feel good about yourself.

Studies have shown that when we habitually experience pride,

we're more likely to:

work hard to pursue an ability or interest

to achieve our goals,

to persevere in the face of difficulty,

to have more self-control and resist temptation,

to feel more confident and even fulfilled in life.

Which kind of begs the question;

what happens if you never feel proud of yourself?

Pride is this motivational force.

If it's the motivational source

behind all human achievement,

according to the author of the book, Jessica Tracy,

it really makes you wonder,

"Well then what happens if you're not proud very often?"

"What happens when you feel bad about yourself

"most of the time rather than good?"

What if you're either not doing anything

to make yourself proud,

or you're just terrible at recognizing

when you are doing well;

you're bad at noticing when you're doing something

worthy of your own pride.

Well, think about the reverse of what we just discussed.

If your brain is predicting that most behavior,

most endeavors, most projects

will not bring you any sort of pride,

well then you're probably not gonna feel very motivated

to do that thing.

That system that's supposed to turn on

to get you to want to do that thing,

probably not gonna turn on.

And the book really doesn't get into this at all.

Actually didn't get into like most of this video. (laughs)

So it's kind of all my conjecture,

but, logically, if you're the type of person

who doesn't feel good about themselves very often,

if you're excessively hard on yourself,

if you never pat yourself on the back for the progress

that you do make,

if you're skewed toward feeling shame rather than pride,

then, according to this pride theory,

you'd feel not only less motivated

but less fulfilled in life.

You'd have less drive to pursue activities

that felt meaningful.

Hard work would feel harder.

You'd be more likely to fall off track with your goals.

You may even go through periods of time

where you feel completely demotivated.

In other words, if we are not already,

we need to get comfortable

with feeling good about ourselves.

We need to get better at patting ourselves on the back

when we do something well.

I found out about this pride idea months ago,

and just learning about it like

(fingers clicking) really clicked for me

that I was gonna need to get

way nicer to myself immediately.

And I hope if you're hard on yourself, like I am,

you are feeling the same way right about now

because refusing to feel good about yourself

and what you're doing

is, according to this whole theory of pride,

preventing you from reaching your full potential.

So we all have to knock it the (censored) off. (laughs)

It's as simple as choosing to feel good about ourselves

when we've objectively done something to deserve it.

Which means that letting yourself feel good about the things

that you do,

even if right now you feel like you're not doing enough,

is essential to moving forward.

And, if you think to yourself,

"I have nothing to be proud of right now.

"I'm not doing anything to be proud of,"

maybe that's a signal

that you're not consistently doing enough for yourself.

Because remember, feeling pride

is just about doing something that feels meaningful to you.

It's just about making gains in an area

that you think is important.

So it can be related to skills you have,

creative interests you have, curiosities you have,

values you have.

It's about taking on little projects and goals

and investing time into areas

that make you feel like yourself.

And the focus should be on behavior.

It should be on what you're doing. It's not on you.

So even if you have like a problem with yourself,

it's about what you do.

So that means you can literally immediately do something

differently to feel proud of and claim that pride.

So that means if you're really into music,

picking up your guitar and trying to learn a song

and doing a really good job on it, that counts.

If you value your health,

there's a million things you can do right now

to feel proud of yourself.

If you value your relationships,

putting effort toward nurturing them, that counts.

With work and life being so hectic,

it's so easy to spend all of our free time on our phones

and watching Netflix.

But if we're not feeling the way we want to,

then perhaps the answer is just to dedicate time each day

to investing in ourselves in some way.

So how exactly do we feel proud of ourselves

to start enjoying these benefits?

Well, as I kind of mentioned earlier but not really,

there are two types of pride,

and the kind we've been discussing thus far

is called authentic pride.

And we experience authentic pride when we like who we are

because we see ourselves as working hard

towards some accomplishment that carries meaning for us.

In other words,

authentic pride is all about action and achievement.

You experience it when you're doing something

or you've done something

that you're pleased with yourself for.

But that does not mean just big goals:

special achievements, major projects completed.

After reading this book,

I realized I had the bar set way too high

for what I would allow myself to feel proud of.

So, step one, lower the bar.

There are obvious ways to make yourself proud:

achieve a goal; face a fear;

you know, bust through a really tough obstacle;

work really hard on something difficult.

All that stuff is obvious.

But if we want to get the most

out of the motivational power of pride,

it's in our best interest to lower the bar.

I kind of thought you only deserved a feeling of pride

when you achieved something really, really great.

I thought it was reserved for special moments,

like big, big achievements.

But think about everything we just discussed.

Pride is meant to motivate you to do the work.

So if you're waiting till you win a Nobel Prize

for what you're working on,

then the path to get there is probably gonna feel like crap.

So, lower the bar.

Any meaningful movement in a positive direction counts.

And that means the behavior can be super small

as long as it's meaningful action to you and your life.

And what I mean by that is,

if you haven't folded your laundry in a long time,

allow yourself to feel good about it When you finally do.

If you want to do it again and do it sooner next time,

then don't shame yourself for not doing it fast enough.

Feel good about the action that you did take.

It's as simple as any time you take genuine positive action

for your life; feel good about it.

Now, I'm not saying to do all of this

(workers cheering)

when you do like a little tiny thing.

You're not trying to lie to yourself

or blow smoke up your own ass,

and you don't want to feel so satisfied

with the little thing that you've done,

that you feel like you don't need to continue.

What I'm talking about is just,

it's just one of these, okay?

'Cause doing that is gonna build

your little motivational fire to do the next thing

and then the next thing

and then the next thing.

And suddenly the things you're trying to do

are gonna get bigger and bigger and bigger.

It's just giving yourself credit where credit is due.

Look around you right now.

There's something you've been putting off

or something that you could do right now

to make your life better in some way.

Do it, and then feel good about it.

And you've started the chain.

Next, getting more specific,

here are the two main ways that you can make yourself proud.

You can either:

A, do something new;

or, B, do something better.

In the case of doing something new,

this means behaving differently

than you have before in some way.

Learn a new skill. Try a different type of exercise.

Get up earlier.

Behaving out of your norm in a positive direction

equals doing something new.

And, by new, I don't mean something

you've never done before in your life,

just something out of the ordinary.

Do the laundry. Make the phone call.

Do whatever little thing that you need to do.

And, B, in the case of doing something better,

doing something better is about effort.

Where can you put in more effort

than you've been putting in previously?

Where can you do more than you've done before?

Any effort beyond your previous level of effort counts.

I find on the days where I consciously cultivate pride,

where I do more new things or out of my ordinary things,

and I put in more effort,

it's been such a source of momentum.

Like I get so much more done.

I'm feeling myself and making great decisions all day long.

I make a little game out of it,

and I quite literally feel unstoppable

on the days where I,

I dunno how to say this other than this dorky way,

but (laughs) I like ride the pride train

all the way to the end.

Number three. Health.

Weird point, but I feel like it deserves its own heading

because I feel like health is the easiest area

to feel proud in for probably every single person

listening to this video

because there are just so many possible behaviors you can do

on any given day to make yourself feel good about yourself.

And it pays double dividends

because you're also making yourself healthier.

Get more steps than yesterday. Drink tons of water.

Pack a healthy lunch. Try a new exercise.

Go for a long walk. Put more effort into every rep.

Go see the sun rise. See the sun set.

Do a cold plunge. Do cardio.

Cook a really healthy meal. Stretch; meditate.

The list is literally endless.

Health just lends itself so well to cultivating pride

because there are just so many things you can do.

There's always more to do,

and there's always something you can do better.

So, great source of pride.

Number four. Important one.

Notice what you're already doing well.

Next step is not about doing more, it's just about noticing

and allowing yourself to feel proud

of what you're already doing.

There's probably a lot of people watching this

who deserve to feel proud of things

that they're already doing every single day.

Maybe that's just because we don't pay enough attention

to what we're doing,

or maybe we have low self-esteem,

and we're excessively hard on ourselves.

Whatever it is, there's probably a ton of people here

who need to take a minute and pat themselves on the back

for what they're already doing.

In some of the studies that I looked at,

people who were more prone to feeling shame

were also prone to feeling less pride.

Their behaviors were just less likely to bring them pride,

to make them feel proud no matter what they were.

So, if this is you, if you feel shame often,

or like I said, you're just not good at noticing,

make a habit of paying attention

and patting yourself on the back

and noticing when you do something new

or do something better.

And if you're the type of person who's right now thinking,

"No, I seriously have nothing to be proud of at all,"

take you out of the equation.

It's about behavior.

If you do something objectively better before,

something in a positive direction,

take that win and feel proud of what you've done

because that's potentially the pathway

out of the way that you're feeling currently.

(projector whirring)

Now I have to mention, with all of this,

we can obviously take things a little too far

with pride too.

So far, we've kind of discussed pride

as if it's some sort of like wonder drug,

but pride has a lot of negative associations

for good reason.

People with too much pride can be arrogant, egotistical,

struggle to admit their mistakes.

They can be rude to others

due to their perceived superiority and on and on.

But, according to this book,

this is a completely different type of pride altogether

called hubristic pride.

Whereas authentic pride was feeling good about yourself

because of something that you've done,

because of your behavior,

hubristic pride is feeling good about yourself

just because you think

that you're inherently superior to others.

It's just kinda like getting high

on your own supply type thing.

It's like associated with narcissism.

And again, the key difference

is that authentic pride is about what you've done.

It's about your behavior.

So, as long as the pride that you're feeling

is based in the work and the effort that you're doing,

and you don't let it get to the point

that you think that you're like better than everyone,

then I think you should be good. (laughs)

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this video.

I found this topic so freaking interesting

and so life changing.

If you find value in this idea,

please leave me a comment about how you end up using it

'cause I've been using it,

and it's been a freaking game changer for me

as someone who really struggles with being proud, I guess.

(gentle music)

And if you liked this video,

you're gonna love this video.

Anyway, thank you guys so much for watching,

and I will see you in the next one.

(gentle upbeat music)