Harvard Professor Answers Happiness Questions From Twitter | Tech Support | WIRED

WIRED
14 Mar 202313:20

Summary

TLDRArthur Brooks, professeur à l'Université Harvard et chroniqueur de bonheur au "The Atlantic", répond aux questions sur Twitter dans un format de soutien au bonheur. Il explique que le bonheur ne vient pas de la quantité de sommeil, mais plutôt de réduire le malheur. Il évoque la dopamine et le dilemme de satisfaction, suggérant que le bonheur est une combinaison d'enjois, de satisfaction et de but. Il propose des conseils pratiques pour pratiquer la gratitude, gérer les émotions et trouver un sens à la vie. Brooks souligne l'impact du média social sur la dépression et la façon dont l'âge affecte le bonheur, recommandant d'ajuster les attentes et de cultiver la présence et la sagesse à mesure que l'on vieillit. Il met en évidence l'importance de partager ces connaissances pour les ancrer dans la vie quotidienne.

Takeaways

  • 💤 La clé du bonheur n'est pas tant un bon sommeil que la réduction du malheur.
  • 😕 Le malheur est traité dans l'hémisphère cérébral opposé à celui du bonheur.
  • 🔍 L'augmentation de la satisfaction vient de la division de ce que vous avez par ce que vous voulez, et non pas seulement de l'acquisition de plus.
  • 🤔 La pratique de la gratitude nécessite de prendre conscience de ses émotions et de les gérer activement.
  • 🧠 Le cortex préfrontal est le centre de prise de décision qui permet de gérer ses émotions au lieu de les subir passivement.
  • 📝 Tenir une liste de gratitude chaque semaine et de la réviser pendant la semaine peut augmenter significativement le sentiment de bonheur.
  • 🤓 Le bonheur est une combinaison d'enjoyment, de satisfaction et de but dans la vie.
  • 🎯 Trouver un but dans la vie peut être accompli en répondant à deux questions fondamentales : pourquoi suis-je vivant et pour quoi serais-je prêt à mourir.
  • 📉 L'utilisation des médias sociaux peut causer de la dépression car ils sont pauvres en nutriments émotionnels réels.
  • 📊 Avec l'âge, le bonheur diminue légèrement jusqu'à la fin de la cinquantaine, puis augmente progressivement.
  • 🧘 L'état d'esprit présent est difficile à atteindre car nous sommes des voyageurs temporels, mais cela peut être cultivé par la méditation ou la pleine conscience.
  • 👵 La sagesse est une forme d'intelligence qui augmente avec l'âge, elle implique la reconnaissance des modèles et le leadership au service des autres.

Q & A

  • Quelle est la clé du bonheur selon le texte?

    -Le texte explique que la clé du bonheur ne réside pas dans un bon horaire de sommeil ou dans beaucoup de sommeil, mais plutôt dans la réduction du malheur. Les bonnes habitudes comme le sommeil peuvent diminuer le malheur, mais ne sont pas la véritable clé du bonheur.

  • Comment le bonheur et le malheur sont-ils traités dans le cerveau?

    -Le bonheur et le malheur sont traités dans des hémisphères cérébraux différents. Le bonheur est traité d'un côté, tandis que le malheur est traité de l'autre, avec les émotions négatives étant plus actives dans le côté droit du visage, qui est contrôlé par l'hémisphère droit du cerveau.

  • Que se passe-t-il après avoir atteint un objectif?

    -Il est courant d'éprouver de la dépression ou de l'incertitude après avoir atteint un objectif, ce qui est décrit comme la 'dilemma de satisfaction'. Le dopamine, un neuromodulateur cérébral, est lié à cette sensation éphémère de satisfaction après avoir obtenu ce que l'on désire.

  • Comment la satisfaction est-elle liée à ce que l'on possède et à ce que l'on veut?

    -La satisfaction est la division de tout ce que vous avez par tout ce que vous voulez. Pour augmenter votre satisfaction de manière permanente, vous pouvez travailler sur l'augmentation de ce que vous avez ou sur la réduction de ce que vous voulez.

  • Comment la pratique de la gratitude peut-elle aider même en présence de sentiments de tristesse et de frustration?

    -La pratique de la gratitude est un acte de décision consciente. Il s'agit de prendre conscience de vos émotions et de vos pensées (méta-cognition) et de décider d'être reconnaissant malgré les émotions négatives. Cela permet de gérer ses émotions et non de les être.

  • Quels sont les trois macronutriments du bonheur?

    -Les trois macronutriments du bonheur sont l'enjoyment (plaisir conscient), la satisfaction (joie du travail bien fait) et le but (trouver de la cohérence, des objectifs et de la signification dans la vie).

  • Est-ce que le but est connecté au bonheur?

    -Le but est l'un des macronutriments du bonheur. Il est difficile à définir, mais pour trouver son but, il est suggéré de répondre à deux questions : pourquoi suis-je vivant et pour quelle cause serais-je prêt à mourir.

  • Peut-on attribuer des effets dépressifs à l'utilisation des réseaux sociaux?

    -Oui, les réseaux sociaux peuvent causer de la dépression. Ils sont comparés aux aliments junk qui offrent peu de nutrition malgré leurs calories élevées. L'oxytocine, un népéptido qui lie les personnes, est rarement produit sans contact physique ou visuel.

  • Comment l'âge affecte-t-il le bonheur?

    -En général, le bonheur diminue légèrement de la trentaine à la cinquantaine, puis augmente à partir de la cinquantaine environ jusqu'à 70 ans, sauf pour les personnes souffrant de troubles mentaux non traités ou de dépendances non pris en charge.

  • Comment ajuster nos attentes à mesure que nous vieillissons?

    -Avec l'âge, nos attentes s'améliorent car nous comprenons mieux comment les choses fonctionnent. On apprend que ni la joie ni la tristesse durables et que tout sentiment émotionnel a tendance à revenir à un état d'équilibre (homeostasie).

  • Comment la pleine conscience ou la présence peut-elle nous aider à mieux vivre?

    -La pleine conscience implique d'être présent et de ne pas voyager mentalement dans le passé ou le futur. En étant pleinement conscient des activités actuelles, nous pouvons éviter de manquer la vie telle qu'elle se déroule.

  • Quelle est la définition de la sagesse?

    -La sagesse est liée à l'intelligence cristallisée, qui augmente avec l'âge et implique des compétences telles que l'enseignement, le mentorat, la prise de décisions, la reconnaissance des modèles et la compréhension profonde des choses pour les utiliser au service des autres.

Outlines

00:00

😀 La clé du bonheur n'est pas un sommeil optimal

Arthur Brooks, professeur à l'Université Harvard et chroniqueur de bonheur à 'The Atlantic', aborde la question de simpysamantha concernant l'importance du sommeil. Il explique que le sommeil ne génère pas le bonheur mais réduit la détresse. Il fait la distinction entre le bonheur et la détresse, qui sont traitées par des hémisphères cérébraux différents. Il suggère de se concentrer sur la diminution des désirs pour augmenter la satisfaction et de réfléchir à la gratitude comme moyen de gérer ses émotions.

05:02

😌 Le dilemme de la satisfaction et la pratique de la gratitude

Le professeur Brooks discute de la déception ressentie après l'atteinte d'un objectif, une situation connue sous le nom de 'dilemma de la satisfaction'. Il mentionne le rôle de la dopamine dans la satisfaction temporaire. Pour résoudre ce problème, il recommande de diviser ce que l'on possède par ce que l'on désire pour augmenter sa satisfaction. En ce qui concerne la pratique de la gratitude, il suggère de décider d'être reconnaissant et de réfléchir à l'émotional et au préfrontal pour prendre le contrôle sur ses émotions. Il propose également d'établir une liste de gratitude et de la consulter régulièrement pour accroître le bonheur.

10:03

🤔 La quête de sens et la satisfaction dans la vie

Arthur Brooks explique que le bonheur est composé d'enjoyment (plaisir conscient), de satisfaction (joie du travail bien fait) et de but (trouver de la cohérence et de la signification dans la vie). Il traite la question de la connexion entre le bonheur et le but dans la vie, soulignant que répondre à deux questions (pourquoi je suis vivant et pour quoi serais-je prêt à mourir) peut aider à trouver un sens. Il aborde également l'impact des médias sociaux sur la dépression, l'influence de l'âge sur le bonheur, et comment s'adapter aux changements d'attentes avec le temps. Il mentionne que le bonheur augmente généralement après 50 ans, à moins que l'on ne souffre de troubles mentaux non traités ou de dépendances non pris en charge.

🧘‍♂️ L'importance de la présence et de la sagesse

Le professeur Brooks encourage à être présent et à cultiver la pleine conscience, en évitant de voyager mentalement dans le passé ou le futur. Il cite Thich Nhat Hahn et son approche de la pleine conscience dans les tâches quotidiennes. En ce qui concerne la sagesse, il la décrit comme une forme d'intelligence qui augmente avec l'âge, impliquant la reconnaissance des modèles et l'utilisation de cette compréhension pour aider les autres. Il souligne que la sagesse, en tant que mentorat et leadership, peut rendre la vie plus heureuse avec le temps.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Bonheur

Le bonheur est le thème central de la vidéo. Il est décrit comme une combinaison de trois éléments identifiés : l'enjoyement, la satisfaction et le but. L'enjoyement est la conscience du plaisir, la satisfaction est la joie d'un travail bien fait, et le but est la cohérence et la signification dans la vie. Ces éléments sont essentiels pour atteindre le bonheur, comme illustré par le professeur Brooks.

💡Sommil

Le sommeil est mentionné comme un facteur qui peut réduire le malheur mais pas nécessairement augmenter le bonheur. Le professeur Brooks explique que les facteurs comme le sommeil, l'alimentation et l'exercice contribuent à la réduction du malheur plutôt qu'à l'augmentation du bonheur.

💡Dopamine

La dopamine est un neuromodulateur cérébral lié à la satisfaction. Lorsqu'une personne atteint un objectif et ressent une augmentation temporaire de dopamine, elle peut éprouver un plaisir éphémère. Cependant, le professeur Brooks souligne que la véritable satisfaction vient de la division de ce que l'on a par ce que l'on veut, suggérant de vouloir moins pour augmenter la satisfaction.

💡Gratitude

La gratitude est présentée comme un moyen de gérer les émotions et d'augmenter le bonheur. Le professeur Brooks recommande de créer une liste de gratitude et de la consulter régulièrement pour prendre le contrôle sur ses émotions plutôt que de les être subi. Cela permet de décider d'être reconnaissant et d'augmenter le bonheur.

💡But de la vie

Le but de la vie est considéré comme un élément clé du bonheur. Le professeur Brooks suggère de répondre à deux questions pour trouver son but : pourquoi sommes-nous vivants et pour quelle cause serions-nous prêts à mourir. Ces questions guident la recherche de sens et de signification dans la vie.

💡Dépression

La dépression est abordée en relation avec l'atteinte des objectifs et l'expérience d'incertitudes ou de sentiments négatifs après. Le professeur Brooks utilise le concept de satisfaction dilemma pour expliquer ce phénomène où l'atteinte d'un objectif apporte une satisfaction éphémère.

💡Méditation

La méditation est présentée comme une technique pour affronter et surmonter la peur de la mort ou d'autres angoisses. Le maranasati, une méditation sur la mort pratiquée dans le bouddhisme, est citée pour montrer comment confronter ses peurs peut les rendre ordinaires et les rendre moins terrifiantes.

💡Présence

L'être présent ou la pleine conscience est un concept clé abordé par le professeur Brooks. Il est décrit comme l'acte de vivre le moment présent pleinement, sans se distraire par le passé ou le futur. Il est illustré par l'exemple de la vaisselle洗涤 les assiettes, où être conscient de l'acte de lavage permet d'être présent.

💡Sagesse

La sagesse est définie comme une forme d'intelligence qui augmente avec l'âge et qui est liée à la capacité d'enseigner, de mentorat, de leadership et de reconnaissance des modèles. Elle est décrite comme l'essence de la vie qui peut rendre heureux ceux qui choisissent de la cultiver.

💡Social Media

Les médias sociaux sont critiqués pour leur faible nutrition émotionnelle, comparés aux fast-foods. Ils peuvent causer de la dépression en créant un faux sentiment de connexion sociale sans l'oxytocine, une substance qui favorise les liens humains. Le professeur Brooks recommande de les utiliser avec modération et de ne pas les substituer aux relations personnelles réelles.

💡Âge

L'âge est discuté en relation avec l'impact sur le bonheur. Contrairement à la croyance populaire, la moyenne de bonheur diminue légèrement de la trentaine à la cinquantaine, puis augmente à partir de l'âge de 50 ans. Le professeur Brooks suggère que l'âge peut être un facteur positif si les personnes souffrant de troubles de santé mentale ou de dépendances sont traitées.

Highlights

The secret to happiness is not just a good sleep schedule but also lowering unhappiness.

Unhappiness and happiness are processed in different hemispheres of the brain.

The satisfaction dilemma: Achievement brings temporary happiness, followed by a need for more.

Dopamine is a neuromodulator associated with desire and reward, which can lead to a cycle of wanting more after achieving a goal.

True satisfaction comes from having more divided by wanting less.

Gratitude can be practiced by deciding to be grateful and managing emotions through metacognition.

Making a gratitude list and regularly reviewing it can increase happiness by 15-25%.

Happiness is a combination of enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose.

Purpose in life can be found by answering two questions: why are you alive and for what would you be willing to die?

Social media can cause depression due to its low nutritional value for emotional bonding.

Happiness levels tend to decrease slightly from the early 20s until the late 40s or early 50s, then increase.

Adjusting expectations as we age involves understanding the impermanence of emotions and experiences.

Wisdom is associated with crystallized intelligence, which increases with age and involves teaching, mentoring, and leading.

Being present and mindful is challenging because we often mentally travel to the past or future.

To truly live in the moment, one must be conscious of their current actions without distraction.

Transcending fear involves facing it directly and making it a regular part of one's experience.

Sharing knowledge and insights with others helps to solidify and retain happiness.

Transcripts

play00:00

- I'm Arthur Brooks, a professor at Harvard University

play00:02

and the happiness columnist at "The Atlantic."

play00:05

I'm here today to answer your questions on Twitter.

play00:08

This is Happiness Support.

play00:09

[upbeat music]

play00:13

First up, @simpysamantha, who just, "Found out

play00:18

"that the key to happiness is a good sleep schedule.

play00:21

"Who knew?"

play00:22

Well, the secret to happiness is not lots of sleep

play00:24

or even a good sleep schedule.

play00:26

One of the funny things about diet, nutrition,

play00:29

exercise, sleep, they don't actually bring happiness,

play00:32

but they do lower unhappiness, which can be your problem.

play00:35

Now it sounds like I'm splitting hairs, right?

play00:37

Most people think that unhappiness

play00:38

is the opposite of happiness.

play00:40

It's not.

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They're actually processed

play00:42

in different hemispheres of the brain.

play00:43

Happiness on one side, unhappiness on the other.

play00:46

The right side is negative basic emotions,

play00:48

and the way that we know this

play00:50

is because the left side of the face,

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which is controlled by the right side of the brain,

play00:53

is more active when we're feeling negative emotions.

play00:57

So, simpysamantha, my guess is that, you know,

play01:00

you've got some unhappiness in your life,

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and look, we all do.

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Some of us have higher negative feeling levels than others.

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If you've got that and you want some relief,

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that's what's gonna bring it.

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So it won't make you happier,

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it's not the secret of happiness,

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but it sure is good for having less unhappiness.

play01:16

Have a good night's sleep.

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Queenoffire85, "Does anyone ever experience depression

play01:23

"or uncertainty after achieving a goal?"

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Oh, yes. Yes, they do.

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This is the real riddle of happiness.

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This is the satisfaction dilemma in a nutshell.

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Yeah, if I get that watch, I'm gonna love it forever.

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I get that car, I get that house, I get that relationship,

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I get that job, that money, that, fill in the blank,

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it's gonna be so great, and it is for a minute.

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Now there's neurophysiology behind this, too.

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There's a neuromodulator in the brain called dopamine,

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and you want it, you work for it, you're gonna get it.

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Dopamine, dopamine, dopamine, you got it, [grunts].

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Oh. Oh, I guess I need to start again.

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Here's just a little, tiny way

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to think about how to solve that problem.

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You, I, everybody, Mother Nature teaches us

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that to get satisfaction and keep it you need to have more.

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That's the wrong model.

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Your real satisfaction is all the things you have

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divided by all the things that you want.

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Now you can try to increase your satisfaction permanently

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by having more, or you can work on the denominator

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of haves divided by wants.

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You can work on wanting less.

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That turns out to be the right formula.

play02:30

Shaikitoff, or shaikitoff.

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Shaikitoff. I got it!

play02:34

Shaikitoff asks, "How do I practice gratitude

play02:38

"when all I feel is sadness, frustration, and confusion?"

play02:41

Back to your question, how do I feel gratitude?

play02:43

You decide to be grateful is the bottom line.

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The brain kind of is in three parts.

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It's not exactly this way, but just for reference,

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there's the ancient part that has all your motor functions

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and breathing and brain stem and spinal column.

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Then you got the middle part, your your limbic system

play03:00

that takes signals from the outside world

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and takes a kind of machine language

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and turns it into feelings that happen to you.

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And then from there it delivers those signals

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into the neocortex of the brain,

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the wrinkly part on the outside of your brain,

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the most evolved and amazingly human of which

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is the prefrontal cortex,

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a bumper of brain tissue right behind your forehead,

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and it gets these emotions, and you decide what they mean

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and what you're supposed to do.

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Now, a lot of people go through life

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in just kind of a limbic state being delivered emotions.

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And if you're sort of a limbic person

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feeling like you're managed by these things,

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kind of hoping for the best,

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then your limbic system is in charge.

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But that's not your only option.

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You can be in charge yourself,

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but what you have to do is to experience your emotions

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in the prefrontal cortex of your brain.

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And it's a very simple process, if you put your mind to it.

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It's called metacognition.

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Metacognition means being aware of your emotions

play03:52

and your thinking.

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This is what humans are uniquely available to do.

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My dog, Chucho, he's not metacognitive, he can't be.

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He feels it. He does it.

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He sees the cookie. He eats the cookie.

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But I can actually deliver that information

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to my prefrontal cortex and make an executive decision

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about what I'm going to do, not withstanding my feelings.

play04:12

Here's what I ask my students to do at Harvard.

play04:15

I ask them to make a gratitude list on Sunday nights.

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They make a list of the five things

play04:19

they're most grateful for,

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then every night during the rest of the week

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take five minutes and look at your gratitude list.

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Sundays, update your list.

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In 10 weeks, you're gonna be between 15 and 25% happier

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because you decided to be grateful.

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You managed your emotions so they didn't manage you,

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and if you do that, it's a game changer.

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Being in charge, you're never gonna be the same.

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Hase1136, Pretty Rabbit, "As I lay here,

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"I wonder what is the true meaning of happiness?"

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Happiness is actually a combination

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of three identifiable things that we all need

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and we all want in both balance and abundance.

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These are the macronutrients of happiness.

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Your Thanksgiving dinner is protein, carbohydrates, and fat.

play05:02

Well, your happiness is enjoyment,

play05:04

satisfaction, and purpose.

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Enjoyment is not just pleasure,

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it's pleasure with consciousness.

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It's using your prefrontal cortex.

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Satisfaction is the joy that you get from a job well done.

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It's your reward for striving, for working,

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for even suffering.

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Purpose, what's that?

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Well, that's really a question

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of finding coherence in your life,

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finding goals in your life,

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finding significance in your life.

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If you have those three things, you have happiness.

play05:35

GeeorgeStyles asks,

play05:38

"Is happiness connected to having a purpose?"

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Purpose is literally one of the macronutrients of happiness,

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but it's a weird one.

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It's actually hard to figure out even what it is.

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If you're feeling like life doesn't have enough purpose,

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that life doesn't have enough meaning,

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answer the following two questions:

play05:55

why am I alive, and for what would I be willing to die?

play05:58

If you don't have an answer to one

play06:00

or both of those questions,

play06:01

you're gonna have an existential crisis.

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And you need to go in search with your life

play06:06

of an answer to those two questions.

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I'm not gonna tell you what those answers are.

play06:09

They're different for different people.

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So yes, does purpose lead to happiness? Oh, yeah.

play06:13

How do you find your purpose? Answer those two questions.

play06:16

Find the answer to those two questions.

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That's your assignment.

play06:19

Syedafati, "Can social media cause depression?"

play06:23

Yes, so it seems.

play06:24

Here's the basic bottom line.

play06:26

Social media is like the junk food of social life.

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High calories, low nutrition.

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You're starving for this neuropeptide called oxytocin.

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It bonds people together.

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You get almost none of it

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when you don't have touch and eye contact,

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but you crave more and more social contact

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when you've been on social media for so long,

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so you binge it.

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It's basically like binging french fries

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and then wondering why you feel crummy

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and you're gaining weight,

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but you're not getting your nutrition.

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Here's the deal.

play06:54

If you're gonna use social media,

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make sure it only ever compliments

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your in-person relationships and you use it very sparingly.

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I'm talking about a total of 30 minutes a day

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across all platforms

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and never, ever, ever, ever substituting

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for an in-person friendship.

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If it substitutes for any friendship

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or goes outside of those bounds,

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it's gonna lower your happiness.

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Poojasgoyal, gotta get the middle initial, I know,

play07:14

"How does age affect happiness?"

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And she encloses a graph,

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and what it does is it looks at different ages

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the average happiness level in a particular country

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at a particular time, and it looks the same every place.

play07:26

What do you think is gonna happen

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if, let's just say, you're in your late 20s?

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Are you gonna be happier or unhappier in 10 years?

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Now most people watching me are optimists.

play07:35

Most people think they're gonna be happier at 38

play07:38

than they were at 28,

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and the reason is because these have these goals

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and they think that they're gonna meet their goals.

play07:42

Most people think they're gonna get happier

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as they get older, and it's gonna reach a max point,

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and then it's gonna head back down again.

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The truth is exactly the opposite.

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Most people, on average, they get a slight diminution

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of their happiness from their early 20s

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until their late 40s or early 50s,

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but it's like eight to seven on a 1 to 10 scale.

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This is not a huge problem.

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Noticeable but not horrible.

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Then in your early 50s it turns around

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and you start back up again,

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and almost everybody actually gets increasing happiness

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from their early 50s until about 70, except two groups:

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people who have unremediated mental illness

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and people who have untreated substance use disorders.

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So if this is you, get treated for anxiety and depression

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and mood disorders and get treated for addiction.

play08:27

All right, next question comes from @LaughingAllTheWay,

play08:33

"How do we adjust our expectations as we age?"

play08:37

That's a good one.

play08:38

One of the things that actually gets better

play08:39

and better and better as you age

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is your expectations about the future

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because you understand how things work.

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There's this tyranny that people don't understand

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until they're usually a little after 50 years old.

play08:51

They think that if they get that thing that they want,

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they're gonna get it and they're gonna enjoy it

play08:56

and it's never gonna go away, and then it does.

play08:59

They also think that if something bad happens to them

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that they're gonna stay in a bad mood

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or sad or angry or afraid forever.

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Here's what you learn after 50:

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nothing lasts and it doesn't matter.

play09:10

There's a thing that all biologists talk about,

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which is homeostasis,

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the tendency of every biological process

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to go back to its equilibrium.

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Well, it works emotionally as well.

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Your anger, your sadness, your disgust, your fear, your joy,

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your interest, those things don't last for good and for bad.

play09:26

Your heart is broken? It won't last.

play09:28

When you figure that out, this is power,

play09:31

and if you harness that, every year's better than the last.

play09:34

Or it can be.

play09:36

Next up, this one's from Father Poster,

play09:39

and I'm just gonna take a wild guess

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that this is actually not a priest.

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"How do I transcend from my mortal anguish?"

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Sounds to me like Father Poster is a little afraid of dying,

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but we're all afraid of our own version of dying.

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There's a meditation that the Theravada Buddhists do.

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If you go to a monastery, a Buddhist monastery,

play09:58

in the southern tier of Asia, especially East Asia,

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Thailand or Vietnam or Myanmar,

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you'll find pictures of corpses in various states of decay

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and that the monks have to ponder

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and they have to say, "That is me and that is me."

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What are they doing?

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They're doing what's called the maranasati death meditation.

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Walk yourself through that. Why?

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Because you're gonna accustom yourself

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to that sort of surreal experience of your own death

play10:22

as you see it.

play10:23

How do I transcend my mortal anguish?

play10:25

By leaning into my mortal anguish.

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You beat fear by experiencing the fear

play10:31

and making it ordinary, and it will no longer be a ghost

play10:34

and it will no longer be a problem.

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@thYrd_eYe_prYin, "I've been working on being present."

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To be present means to be here now.

play10:45

That's the words that Ram Dass used to talk about.

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We have a special kind of language

play10:50

that we put on that now, it's called being mindful.

play10:52

Mindfulness is hard because we're time travelers.

play10:55

You're thinking about the past.

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You're thinking about the future.

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The average person, by the way,

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spends 30 to 50% of their time thinking about the future.

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That's unbelievable.

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You're not here now.

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Think about how much you do that, by the way.

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You go on vacation, you're like,

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"Oh, I'm gonna make some memories, so I'm gonna take

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"a picture, picture, picture, picture, picture."

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You're thinking about now as if it were the past

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in the future when you're looking back on the present.

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That's unbelievable time travel.

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We do it all the time.

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Here's the problem.

play11:18

You missed your life. You missed it.

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You know, the great Vietnamese Buddhist monk

play11:23

Thich Nhat Hahn, y'all have to read

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"The Miracle of Mindfulness" 'cause it starts off

play11:28

with him describing what it's like to wash the dishes.

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I'm washing the dishes,

play11:32

and I'm conscious of washing the dishes

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because if I don't think about washing the dishes

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I will not be present in the act of washing the dishes.

play11:39

That means working on being a mindful person.

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Maybe it's with meditation, maybe it's with prayer,

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maybe it's with therapy,

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and sitting with your hands folded on your lap

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looking out the window of the train saying,

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"I am sitting on the train right now

play11:53

"because I don't wanna miss my life."

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Finally, Shammeri_AAA

play11:58

wants to know the definition of wisdom.

play12:00

Psychometricians, those who study

play12:03

different forms of intelligence, find that we have a thing

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called fluid intelligence early on.

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In our 20s and 30s, the ability to focus, to innovate,

play12:10

to solve problems, to think quickly.

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People tend to peak in knowledge professions,

play12:14

at their ability to solve problems, to innovate,

play12:17

to focus, working memory in their late 30s.

play12:20

But there's another curve behind it

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called crystallized intelligence,

play12:23

which increases through your 40s and 50s and 60s

play12:26

and stays high in your 70s and 80s.

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It's the wisdom curve.

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The essence of wisdom is teaching, is mentoring.

play12:34

It's leading teams. It's recognizing patterns.

play12:37

It's understanding what things really mean

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and using that information in service of other people.

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And it gets better, and if you choose to cultivate it,

play12:46

it can make your life as happy as it could possibly be

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as you get older.

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That's not only the consolation of age,

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that's the promise of wisdom.

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Well, it looks like that's all we've got for today.

play12:56

Those are your questions.

play12:57

I hope you've learned a lot from this time.

play12:59

I hope you've enjoyed it.

play13:01

I hope you're a little bit happier.

play13:02

But here's the key thing,

play13:03

if you really wanna lock it in, here's the secret.

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You gotta think about it

play13:07

and you gotta adopt new habits in your life,

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and most of all, here's the most important part,

play13:11

you gotta share it.

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Go share it, then you'll never lose it.

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Thanks for taking some time with me today.

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[cheerful music]

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