CBT Role-Play - Challenging Relationship with Family Member

Summary

In this therapy session, Susan discusses her ongoing struggles with her mother-in-law's disapproval, which has created tension in her family and led to feelings of sadness, anxiety, and frustration. Despite her efforts to connect, her mother-in-law remains distant and unresponsive. Dr. Grande helps Susan confront the unrealistic expectation that her mother-in-law 'should' approve of her, guiding her to shift her belief to one where it's okay if not everyone shares her perspective. The session focuses on helping Susan manage her emotions by reinforcing her self-worth and encouraging a more flexible mindset to cope with the challenges she faces.

Takeaways

• 😀 Susan is struggling with her relationship with her mother-in-law, who has disapproved of her since their first pregnancy.
• 😀 The mother-in-law's disapproval creates tension, as she avoids contact with Susan and the children, even on important occasions like Grandparents Day.
• 😀 Despite being married for 5 years and having three children, Susan's mother-in-law has not warmed to her, causing Susan emotional distress.
• 😀 Susan feels hurt by the mother's ongoing disapproval and is particularly concerned about the impact it has on her children.
• 😀 The therapist suggests that Susan's belief that her mother-in-law should approve of her is contributing to her feelings of sadness, anxiety, and frustration.
• 😀 Susan acknowledges the belief that she is likable but realizes that her mother-in-law’s approval is not guaranteed, and that she cannot control it.
• 😀 The therapist helps Susan reframe her thinking, suggesting a more flexible belief that it’s okay if not everyone approves of her, which could reduce her emotional distress.
• 😀 Susan expresses frustration over her husband’s lack of response to her pain, as he continues to have a relationship with his mother, despite her behavior.
• 😀 The therapist asks Susan to list her personal strengths to reinforce her self-worth and challenge the belief that she needs her mother-in-law's approval for validation.
• 😀 Susan is given a homework assignment to list her strengths, including qualities like being sensitive, caring, generous, and a good mother, to build self-esteem and work toward emotional resolution.

Q & A

What emotional issues is Susan dealing with in the script?

Susan is struggling with sadness, frustration, and anxiety due to her strained relationship with her mother-in-law, who disapproves of her and does not interact with her or the children.

What specific actions has Susan taken to try to improve the relationship with her mother-in-law?

Susan has attempted to call her mother-in-law repeatedly to invite her to her husband's surprise party and encourage interaction with the grandkids, but these efforts have been met with rejection and hostility.

What is the source of Susan's belief that she needs her mother-in-law's approval?

Susan believes she needs her mother-in-law's approval because she was raised to value family unity, and her mother-in-law's rejection causes her to feel like a failure in maintaining this ideal.

How does Susan feel about her relationship with her husband regarding the family dynamic?

Susan feels that her relationship with her husband has been productive in terms of raising children, but she is hurt by his lack of emotional support and his apparent indifference to her pain over his mother’s behavior.

Why does Susan believe that her relationship with her mother-in-law has not improved?

Susan believes the relationship has not improved because her mother-in-law has always disapproved of their relationship, especially since Susan became pregnant before marriage, and her behavior hasn't changed despite Susan's efforts.

What does Susan want to achieve by continuing to engage with her mother-in-law, despite the ongoing rejection?

Susan hopes that, through her efforts, her mother-in-law will eventually come around and establish a relationship with her grandchildren, even though she no longer expects approval for herself.

What is the key belief that Dr. Grande identifies as contributing to Susan's emotional distress?

Dr. Grande identifies Susan's rigid belief that her mother-in-law should approve of her as the core belief maintaining her sadness and frustration. This belief leads Susan to feel rejected and inadequate.

What alternative belief does Dr. Grande suggest Susan adopt to improve her emotional well-being?

Dr. Grande suggests that Susan adopt the belief that she is a likable person, but it's okay if others, including her mother-in-law, do not feel the same way. This belief would help her release the need for external approval.

What action does Dr. Grande recommend Susan take to help her challenge her belief about approval?

Dr. Grande encourages Susan to list all the reasons why she is likable, focusing on her strengths, which will help her reinforce her sense of self-worth independent of her mother-in-law's approval.

What is the likely outcome Dr. Grande envisions for Susan if she adopts the new belief?

Dr. Grande believes that by adopting the new belief, Susan will be able to better manage her emotional distress, improve her self-esteem, and accept that she cannot control others' feelings, especially her mother-in-law's approval.