Why I'm converting back to Islam (sort of)

Summary

In this thought-provoking video, Apost, an ex-Muslim, shares his personal journey of faith, questioning, and deconstruction. After years of practicing Islam despite dwindling belief, he explores the reasons behind why many choose to convert to the religion. Seeking structure and purpose, he decides to practice Islam again for a few weeks, aiming to experience it without the emotional baggage of guilt or obligation. Throughout the video, he addresses common questions about his motivations and engages viewers in a critical discussion about faith, identity, and the complexities of religion.

Takeaways

• 😀 The speaker, an ex-Muslim, shares their journey away from Islam while maintaining anonymity for safety.
• 😀 They reflect on their past efforts to practice Islam despite losing faith, highlighting internal conflicts and guilt.
• 😀 The process of deconstructing their beliefs involved community support and personal reflection over many years.
• 😀 The speaker acknowledges the various reasons people remain Muslim or convert, including familial obligation and community ties.
• 😀 They explore the idea of adopting Islam again temporarily to find structure and benefits without the weight of belief.
• 😀 The speaker plans to practice Islamic rituals sincerely while remaining transparent about their lack of belief.
• 😀 They express skepticism about the reasons behind conversions, especially in the context of social media influence and popularity.
• 😀 The speaker encourages discussions about Islam, citing its relevance and the taboo nature of critical examination.
• 😀 They clarify that their exploration of Islam is not a return to belief but an interest in the experience and its structure.
• 😀 The speaker invites viewers to suggest other religions for future exploration and reassures that they are critically engaging with the content.

Q & A

What motivated Apost to initially practice Islam?

Apost was motivated to practice Islam due to their upbringing in a devout Muslim family, where there was a strong emphasis on memorizing the Quran and living according to Islamic principles.

What led Apost to question their faith in Islam?

Over the years, Apost encountered many unanswerable questions and struggled to reconcile specific details and events in Islam, leading them to doubt the religion.

How did Apost's family react to their loss of faith?

Eventually, many Muslims in Apost's life made peace with the fact that they no longer believed or practiced Islam, which Apost acknowledges as a significant achievement given the potential for conflict.

What reasons does Apost provide for why people convert to Islam?

Apost lists several reasons for conversion, including familial obligation, seeking community, finding purpose, and even for love or societal improvement. Some may also convert for social recognition.

What specific goal does Apost have for practicing Islam temporarily?

Apost's goal is to explore the structure that Islam provides and see if it brings any benefits to their life, without the emotional baggage of previous beliefs.

How does Apost define their upcoming practice of Islam?

Apost plans to fully engage in the rituals, including saying the Shahada, praying five times a day, and reading the Quran, while acknowledging that they do not actually believe in Islam.

What is Apost's stance on the validity of their temporary conversion?

Apost believes that their practice does not constitute a 'real' conversion since they do not hold genuine beliefs in the tenets of Islam, but they are conducting this experiment out of curiosity.

What does Apost mean by 'deconstruction' of faith?

Deconstruction refers to the process of critically examining and breaking down one's previous beliefs, allowing Apost to understand and let go of indoctrination from their past.

What role does community play in Apost's current perspective?

Apost emphasizes the importance of surrounding themselves with people who allow them to be authentic without the need to self-censor, contrasting this with the traditional Muslim community dynamics.

What are Apost's thoughts on Pascal's wager in relation to their exploration of Islam?

Apost sees their experiment as a real-life demonstration of Pascal's wager, reflecting on the idea that practicing a religion just in case it is true can be a rational approach, though they remain skeptical of religious beliefs.