How to stop screwing yourself over | Mel Robbins | TEDxSF

Summary

In this energetic TEDx talk, Mel Robbins discusses how to break free from feeling 'fine' and get what you truly want in life. She emphasizes the importance of pushing through discomfort and forcing yourself to take action, even when you don’t feel like it. Robbins explains how our brain defaults to autopilot, often sabotaging change, and highlights the 'five-second rule' to overcome hesitation. By acting on ideas within five seconds, you can avoid your mind’s 'emergency brake' and start creating the life you desire.

Takeaways

• 😀 **Self-Responsibility**: You need to parent yourself as an adult, making yourself do what you don't want to do to achieve your goals.
• 🔥 **Overcoming Comfort**: You must force yourself to get out of your comfort zone to grow and experience real change.
• 🚀 **Activation Energy**: Change requires a burst of energy to shift from autopilot to intentional action, and you must push through the discomfort to get started.
• 🤔 **The Problem with 'Fine'**: Saying you're 'fine' prevents you from addressing deeper issues and holds you back from pursuing the life you truly want.
• 🎯 **Know What You Want**: Be clear and honest about what you want, without analyzing or overthinking it. Just pick something and commit.
• ⏳ **The Five-Second Rule**: You have five seconds to act on an impulse or idea before your brain pulls the 'emergency brake' and you miss the opportunity.
• 💡 **Ideas Need Action**: It's not a lack of ideas that holds people back; it's their failure to act on those ideas.
• 💥 **Embrace Uncertainty**: You’ll never 'feel like it' when it comes to doing hard things, so waiting for motivation isn’t productive.
• 🌍 **One in 400 Trillion**: The odds of being born are so astronomical that it's a reminder of the potential and uniqueness each person carries.
• 👣 **Follow Proven Paths**: Use existing resources like books, blogs, and people who have done what you want to do—success leaves clues.

Q & A

What is the main message of Mel Robbins' talk?

The main message of Mel Robbins' talk is that in order to achieve what you want in life, you need to take action and not wait to feel motivated. She emphasizes the importance of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and acting on impulses before the brain pulls the 'emergency brake.'

Why does Mel Robbins dislike the word 'fine'?

Mel Robbins dislikes the word 'fine' because it allows people to settle for mediocrity. When people say they are 'fine,' they avoid confronting dissatisfaction in their lives and thus fail to take action toward improvement.

What does Mel Robbins mean by the 'five-second rule'?

The 'five-second rule' is a concept where if you don't act on an impulse within five seconds, your brain will kill the idea by pulling the 'emergency brake.' Acting within five seconds of an impulse is crucial for turning ideas into actions.

What is activation energy, according to Mel Robbins?

Activation energy is the physical and mental force required to shift from autopilot mode and make a change in behavior. It is the energy needed to take the first step toward something new, like getting out of bed or starting a diet.

How does Mel Robbins compare the two sides of the brain?

Mel Robbins compares one side of the brain to 'autopilot' mode, where habitual behaviors take over, and the other side to the 'emergency brake,' which halts new actions when you try something unfamiliar or uncomfortable.

What does Mel Robbins suggest about waiting for motivation?

Mel Robbins argues that waiting for motivation is futile because it rarely comes. She emphasizes that people must force themselves to take action rather than relying on motivation to get things done.

Why does Mel Robbins mention the odds of being born?

Mel Robbins highlights the astronomical odds of being born, which are one in 400 trillion, to emphasize that life is a unique and precious opportunity. She uses this to encourage people to pursue their goals and not settle for 'fine.'

How does Mel Robbins define the role of being an adult?

Mel Robbins defines being an adult as taking responsibility for parenting yourself. This means making yourself do things you don’t want to do, like a parent would, in order to achieve what you want in life.

What is the significance of the 'inner snooze button' in the talk?

The 'inner snooze button' refers to how people repeatedly delay taking action on their ideas and goals, much like hitting the snooze button on an alarm. Robbins uses this metaphor to illustrate how people avoid discomfort and stay in their comfort zones.

What does Mel Robbins say about routines and boredom?

Mel Robbins argues that while routines provide stability, they can also lead to boredom and dissatisfaction. She suggests that constantly following the same routine prevents personal growth and exploration, which are necessary for fulfillment.