An ADHD Success Story - Watch this if you're feeling stuck.

Summary

This video explores the emotional journey of grieving and accepting an ADHD diagnosis, particularly in those diagnosed later in life. It begins with the initial relief of understanding one's struggles, followed by mourning the lost potential of earlier diagnosis and support. The narrative then warns against the dangers of dwelling too long in this grieving phase, which can lead to a victim identity focused on limitations. Highlighting an interview with David Goggins, the video emphasizes the transformative power of accepting one's limitations and pursuing life with intense focus and determination, regardless of ADHD.

Takeaways

• 😌 Relief is often the first emotional response upon receiving an ADHD diagnosis later in life, stemming from finally understanding past struggles.
• 😢 The grieving process for what could have been—better school experiences, earlier intervention—is a common phase following the initial relief of an ADHD diagnosis.
• 🔄 Transitioning from mourning missed opportunities to accepting and moving forward is crucial to avoid getting stuck in a perpetual victim mindset.
• ⚠️ Lingering too long in the grief stage can lead to a harmful identity built around limitations and perceived failures.
• 🔍 People often argue for their limitations, reinforcing a negative self-image that they are incapable of change or success.
• 🎙️ Inspirational figures, like David Goggins discussed in the Andrew Huberman interview, can provide powerful examples of overcoming extreme adversity and shifting from a victim mindset to proactive life changes.
• 🧠 Accepting personal limitations while refusing to be defined by them is key to growth and self-improvement.
• 🌟 Focusing intensely on a single goal, much like Goggins' approach, can be effective even for those with ADHD, proving that strong will and determination can overcome distractions.
• 🔎 Exploring personal interests and curiosities can lead to meaningful pursuits, which is crucial for people with ADHD to engage deeply in activities that captivate their attention.
• 🌱 Embracing a mindset of potential and possibility, rather than focusing on perceived barriers, can lead to discovering and pursuing passions that align with one's unique talents and abilities.

Q & A

What are the initial emotions described when someone receives an ADHD diagnosis later in life?

The initial emotion often felt is relief, as the diagnosis provides an explanation for the struggles and difficulties experienced throughout life.

What is the 'mourning' phase in the process of grieving an ADHD diagnosis?

The mourning phase refers to the period where individuals grieve over the possibilities of what could have been had they been diagnosed earlier and received necessary accommodations, support, or understanding.

Why is it considered dangerous to remain too long in the grieving phase after an ADHD diagnosis?

Staying too long in the grieving phase can lead to a victim mindset, where individuals might continuously focus on their limitations and failures, which can prevent them from moving forward and improving their situation.

How does the speaker suggest one should transition from the grieving phase after an ADHD diagnosis?

The transition involves accepting the diagnosis, moving past the grief of lost possibilities, and focusing on how to live well with ADHD, utilizing available tools and strategies to manage the condition.

What kind of response does the speaker often see in their coaching practice or online when suggesting new ideas or tools for managing ADHD?

Responses vary from acceptance of the suggestions as beneficial to outright rejection, often from those stuck in a negative mindset who believe they cannot implement the suggested changes due to their limitations.

Who is David Goggins and how is he referenced in relation to coping with ADHD?

David Goggins is mentioned as someone who overcame significant personal challenges and transformed his life, serving as an inspiring example for individuals with ADHD to see the potential for overcoming their own challenges.

What key attitude does David Goggins exhibit that the speaker finds inspiring for people with ADHD?

David Goggins embodies an attitude of relentless determination and a refusal to be defined by his limitations, which is seen as a powerful mindset for those struggling with ADHD to adopt.

Why does the speaker mention the importance of internal dialogue and intuition for managing ADHD?

The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding oneself deeply, setting personal goals, and following through despite ADHD-related challenges, suggesting that this self-awareness and personal conviction can lead to significant life improvements.

What strategy does the speaker advocate for discovering personal interests and goals when dealing with ADHD?

The speaker advocates for experimentation, such as journaling, meditating, or spending time alone without distractions, to help individuals with ADHD discover what truly interests and motivates them.

How does the speaker view the relationship between creativity and employment for someone with ADHD?

The speaker suggests finding a job that is tolerable but not necessarily loved, as a way to financially support one's creative passions and ambitions, thus allowing for personal fulfillment without financial stress.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Grieving the ADHD Diagnosis

This paragraph discusses the unofficial process of grieving after receiving an ADHD diagnosis. It begins with a sense of relief from finally understanding long-term struggles. The grieving process evolves into mourning what could have been if diagnosed earlier, with proper support and accommodations. The speaker emphasizes the importance of moving beyond this phase to acceptance and action, warning against getting stuck in a victim mindset. The paragraph concludes with a reference to an impactful interview with David Goggins by Andrew Huberman, highlighting the transformative power of shifting from a victim identity to embracing one's ADHD and achieving success.

05:01

💪 Embracing Limitations and Achieving Greatness

The speaker shares insights from David Goggins' interview, who despite his learning disabilities and weight issues, did not let his limitations deter him. Goggins' story exemplifies the power of self-acceptance, hard work, and determination. He managed to understand and accept his brain's workings, set clear goals, and pursued them with unwavering focus. The paragraph underscores the significance of internal dialogue, intuition, and focusing on heart-based goals to understand one's true self and desires. It encourages listeners to find their passion and pursue it relentlessly, regardless of their ADHD.

10:03

🏔️ Moving Mountains with Focus and Determination

In this paragraph, the speaker encourages embracing one's current situation and focusing on future aspirations rather than past struggles. It highlights the importance of goal setting and having a singular focus, which serves as a forcing function to prioritize what's truly important. The speaker draws from David Goggins' journey, emphasizing his intense focus and persistence in achieving his goals. The paragraph also suggests practical steps for introspection, such as journaling and exploring curiosities, to help identify personal passions and goals. It concludes with a message of inspiration, asserting that if Goggins could overcome his challenges, anyone with ADHD can achieve their dreams.

Keywords

💡ADHD diagnosis

ADHD diagnosis refers to the clinical identification of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in an individual. In the video, the speaker discusses the process of grieving following an ADHD diagnosis, particularly when diagnosed later in life. This diagnosis brings an initial sense of relief as individuals understand why they have faced certain challenges, leading to a reflective mourning of 'what could have been' had they been diagnosed and supported earlier.

💡Grieving process

The grieving process described in the video involves mourning the lost opportunities and struggles faced due to the late diagnosis of ADHD. The speaker emphasizes that grieving what could have been is a natural and important phase but warns against remaining in this phase too long as it can lead to a victim mentality and a focus on limitations rather than possibilities.

💡Victim mindset

The victim mindset is a psychological state where an individual sees themselves primarily as a victim of circumstances, which in the context of the video, is related to their ADHD diagnosis. The speaker discusses how dwelling too long in the grieving phase can perpetuate this mindset, limiting personal growth and acceptance of the diagnosis, and hindering progress towards improvement.

💡Identity

Identity in this video relates to how individuals perceive themselves following an ADHD diagnosis. The danger highlighted is forming an identity based on limitations and failures ('I can't'), rather than on potential and capabilities. The speaker urges viewers to transition towards an identity that embraces possibilities and personal strengths, even within the context of ADHD.

💡Acceptance

Acceptance is a critical theme in the video, where the speaker stresses the importance of accepting the ADHD diagnosis and moving beyond grief. Acceptance involves acknowledging the reality of one’s condition and focusing on what can be done to live well despite the challenges, which is a pivotal step towards personal empowerment and growth.

💡Limitations

The term 'limitations' in the video refers to the perceived or real constraints that ADHD imposes on an individual's abilities to perform certain tasks or functions. The speaker argues against using these limitations as excuses and instead encourages viewers to focus on how they can overcome or manage these challenges effectively.

💡Self-trust

Self-trust involves confidence in one's ability to make decisions and respond to life's challenges. The video highlights that people stuck in the grieving phase often lack self-trust, particularly due to past disappointments linked to their ADHD. Building self-trust is portrayed as essential for moving forward and engaging with life actively.

💡Potential solutions

Potential solutions refer to strategies or tools suggested for managing ADHD symptoms. The speaker notes that those mired in a victim mindset often dismiss new ideas and tools, focusing instead on why these solutions would not work for them, thus hindering their progress in managing ADHD effectively.

💡Personal growth

Personal growth in the video is discussed as the development beyond the limitations set by ADHD. It involves learning new coping strategies, embracing challenges, and moving towards goals despite difficulties. This growth is framed as a choice to engage actively with life's possibilities rather than remaining passive or stuck in past grievances.

💡Empowerment

Empowerment in this context refers to gaining control over one's life and decisions after an ADHD diagnosis. The video encourages individuals to empower themselves by accepting their condition, understanding their unique brain functions, and taking proactive steps towards personal fulfillment and success.

Highlights

Initial relief from understanding the reasons behind long-standing struggles after an ADHD diagnosis.

Mourning the missed opportunities and advantages that could have been had if diagnosed earlier.

The danger of dwelling in the phase of grieving, leading to a victim mindset.

Struggle with identity as someone unable to succeed, reinforcing personal limitations.

Encountering resistance to new ideas or tools suggested for managing ADHD in online communities.

Impact of David Goggins' transformational story on the perception of overcoming personal limitations.

Discussion on the importance of transitioning from grief to acceptance and proactive living with ADHD.

The role of self-talk and internal dialogue in overcoming personal challenges and setting life goals.

Emphasis on the necessity of inward reflection to truly understand and set personal aspirations.

The importance of focusing on what is deeply compelling, even if it does not generate income, to foster true creativity.

David Goggins' approach to life by embracing hardships and focusing intensely on personal goals.

The value of experimentation, such as journaling and meditation, to explore personal interests and passions.

Understanding ADHD not as a definitive limitation, but as a unique aspect of one's cognitive profile.

The power of determination and focus in achieving goals, despite ADHD.

Encouragement to pursue curiosity and interests with the mindset of possibility rather than limitation.

Transcripts

so I just recorded a video it's not up

yet but when it is I'll link it up here

somewhere but at the end of the video I

just happen to mention this un official

process of grieving an ADHD diagnosis

and I think it starts with a sense of

relief that you now know why you've been

struggling for so long and this is

particularly for those of us who are

diagnosed later in life then after you

have that initial relief you go into

this process of mourning What could have

been if you had been diagnosed when you

were in school and had the appropriate

accommodations to thrive or medication

support coaching therapy whatever else

you needed if you had those things

things would have been so much better

and even if people understood what you

were going through things would have

been so much better but clearly that

wasn't the case we just kind of

struggled in silence until we grew up

and learn compensatory methods so in

that phase of the processing of a

diagnosis when you are diagnosed later

in life I think it's a really

important part to go through like

grieving what could have been and what

isn't and I think we all go through it I

certainly went through it myself however

the danger of staying in that place of

grieving what could have been when you

don't make that transition to the next

phase of accepting that okay so this is

what I've got I've grieved what could

have been now what can I do with my

brain how can I learn to live a good

life knowing now what I know when you

don't pass to that

phase you get stuck in The Grieving

phase and when you stay in The Grieving

phase too long you start to build this

identity of being a victim of this idea

around I have ADHD so I can't hold down

a job or I can't finish anything I start

I can't follow through I've disappointed

so many many people I've disappointed

myself I can't I can't I can't I can't

and when you get stuck in that mode and

you argue for your own limitations that

is exactly where you will stay and the

more you argue in your defense the more

you dig your heels into that phase of

your ADHD process right so as much as I

have so much compassion for anyone in

that phase and I've seen it in my

coaching practice I see it in the

comments in social media underneath my

YouTube videos when I suggest something

or a tool or an

idea either people are going to accept

it as oh this is a good idea or they're

going to think it's not a good idea

which either way is fine but then

there's always those folks who are like

oh that's a great idea for some but it

would never work for me because I can't

do X I can't have a routine I can't

follow through I can't trust myself S I

can't do anything right so they're not

even really paying attention to the

potential Solutions they're mired in

their identity of being somebody who has

failed so much that they have absolutely

no sense of TR self trust or interest to

try something new try something

different to get to that next phase of

okay this is where I'm at this is what I

have now what so you see what I'm saying

I can hear it in the voices of those

folks who have not yet come out of that

phase that are stuck in a victim mindset

and I was thinking about this this

morning when I came across the most

powerful Andrew

huberman interview I think I have ever

heard and I've heard a lot and they're

really long but wow it was an interview

with David gogins who I didn't even know

who he was prior to this interview I had

actually seen his book on bestseller

list but hadn't made the connection to

who he was and I still don't know a lot

about him but what he shared in this

interview about who he is and where he

came from to who he is now completely

blew my mind and I think it's required

listening for anyone who has an ADHD

diagnosis not because I think you need

to be David Goggins because I don't

think that many people can be him or

would even want to be him because

they're not coming from the same life

experience but the point I would like to

underscore here is that he was in that

victim mindset for too long he was stuck

in the I can't I won't and you know I'm

just going to stay who I am right now

which was somebody who was 300 lbs

overweight and extreme learning

disabilities couldn't read or write if

you want a good example of somebody who

has transitioned from that phase of I

can't I won't it will never work for me

to I will do whatever it takes you got

to go listen to this interview because

there's no way that you can listen to

the story and not see that if it can

work for him it can work for you too

real so I'm not a real smart guy and

what I mean by that is I was born with

ADD ADHD all like my brain cannot retain

information I'm not some genetic freak

when it comes to running when it comes

to lifting I'm I am absolutely the

bottom of the barrel I was the lowest

form on Earth no Talent no ability to

learn and I literally know what it is to

be rock bottom and to build that up so I

think it's important to acknowledge

where he is in his own life he

acknowledges that his brain is different

and that he can't retain information but

it doesn't stop him instead he

acknowledges that he has to work harder

and he can compare his abilities to

someone else and say that person can do

it so much better than me but it doesn't

stop him from doing exactly what it is

he wants to do because he wants to do it

again I don't think this is for everyone

but the takeaway has everything to do

with this this phase of accepting who

you are Andrew huberman asks him to talk

about his own selft talk and how he

practically gets himself to do

everything that he does now he said that

the most important thing that he did was

learn to understand his brain he

accepted that this is who I am these are

my limitations and I don't want to be

who I am anymore which was overweight

and undereducated with no hope of a

future and doing a lot of things that he

wasn't proud of but he was able to move

himself through those stages and he was

able to accept who he was what his

limitations were

and take action anyway and move forward

even though it was hard and it sucked

and it continues to be hard and suck for

him and he's got a beautiful

relationship with embracing the suck

which I think is pretty inspiring again

I think there's few people that would

could be as intense about these things

as he is but the true beauty of what he

shared is not even the fact that he

accepted who he was the true beauty was

that he got quiet he went Inward and he

listened to who he was and he listened

to what he wanted to be he got clear on

that he set a clear goal and had a level

of focus I don't think I've ever seen

even an neurotypical person and he moved

towards that goal with conviction With A

No Matter What attitude so the process

of going inward cutting oneself off when

you're in there you say it's just you

and then at some point it converts to

action what is the process of picking

the action so every single day I'm

literally going with my mind and I'm

creating this this masterpiece the

Masterpiece is always myself but to do

that you cannot have any distractions

because if you're talking to an artist

and he's trying to think about the next

painting he he can't it's it's

impossible to listen to you and listen

to what your mind and body are telling

you we must do your mind will tell you

what is next but you're looking for let

me Google this and let me Google that

you're not going to find it there he's

talking about intuition and listening to

what lights you up ignoring what's out

there and tuning in to what's in here

heart-based goals thinking about what

you're interested in what you're curious

about what you stand for and what you'll

fight for What's the Hill that you want

to die on these are the things that we

need to go internally to find out

there's nobody else out there in the

world who can tell you what's most

important to you so building that sense

of internal dialogue and intuition is so

important for you to realize who you

truly are so what I'm trying to pull out

here is not necessarily that he chose to

live life on hard mode every day that

was his personal choice I think the

magic of what he shared was that even

though he had an incredibly distractable

brain he was able to figure out what he

wanted in life narrow in on that goal

and no matter what move towards it so I

know that sounds antithetical to the

type of brain that we have but I wanted

to share his story and just a few clips

of the interview because I think it's so

important that we see these

examples of Mastery and to know that no

matter what you're working with right

now if you're willing to accept that

this is where you are if you're willing

to put aside all of the struggles that

you've dealt with to date because today

is a new day and whatever you choose to

focus on going forward is entirely up to

you when you're willing to cross that

bridge and make that connection to the

acceptance of Who You Are are and really

just listen to what you want in your

heart and go after that you really can

move mountains and I've talked a lot

about this in uh goal setting videos

where I talk about having one focus at a

time and that's because it acts as a

forcing function for you to choose the

most important thing for you in a season

of Life the fact that he was able to

choose what he wanted to be and move

towards that with precision and

persistence not necessarily consistency

he doesn't really talk about morning

routines and nighttime routines he just

talks about maniacal Focus which is

something we are so capable of when it's

something that we want so again this

comes back to everything that I've been

saying if you can really dial into what

it is you want and go after that with

the level of focus that you can go after

a video game go after it and I know

you're sitting there going but I don't

know what it is and to that I will say

the same thing I've been saying all

along experiment go deep start spending

time by yourself journaling try

meditation go for walks without your

phone think about what it is that lights

you up that you're interested in just

follow a curiosity and take that

Curiosity to The Next Step not with the

identity of I have ad ADHD so this

probably isn't going to work but with

the identity of I have ADHD I understand

that that I have limitations but I also

know that my brain has the ability to

lob onto things and hold on to it like a

like a dog with a bone when I find

something of Interest so start exploring

your Curiosities from that lens as

opposed to I can't I can't I can't

because any time you pull that lens up

the lens of I can't you will immediately

shut down any level of curiosity and say

it's not for me it'll never work because

I can't follow through so that's true of

work whether you want to be a full-time

employee or you want to be an

entrepreneur or just Hobbies interests

creative Pursuits anything in life and

maybe your creative pursuit or your

dream isn't a money maker that's fine

find a job that supports your ambition

so that you can work on your creative

Pursuits without worry of whether or not

it's going to pay the rent that's when

true creativity has the room to explore

and do what it it was meant to do so

what is so compelling to you that you're

willing to go out and find a job that

you don't hate but you don't necessarily

love because it supports the creativity

and the passion for the thing that you

want to do what is that thing so I feel

like this interview brings so much

inspiration again I'm not as an intense

of of a person as he is maybe you are or

maybe you relate to his experience more

than I can all I know is if David

Goggins can do this you can too so

that's what I have for you today I hope

it was helpful