MEN'S greatest ENEMY: moving past the fear
Summary
TLDRIn this talk, Dr. Orion Taban explores the concept of men's greatest enemy in the sexual marketplace—cowardice. He outlines three main ways men let fear hinder their success with women: fear of approaching, yielding to female emotionality, and avoiding leadership in relationships. Dr. Taban argues that overcoming these fears is essential for men to attain the relationships they desire. He emphasizes the importance of courage in approaching women, standing firm against emotional manipulation, and confidently leading in relationships for long-term fulfillment.
Takeaways
- 💪 Men's greatest enemy in the sexual marketplace is cowardice, which prevents them from achieving desired relationships.
- 😨 Fear of approaching women, rejection, or being called creepy paralyzes men and prevents them from expressing their true intentions.
- 🚫 Allowing fear to guide behavior leads to men ending up in the friend zone and avoiding sexual advancement.
- 💔 Men struggle to hold firm in the face of female emotionality, often folding when a woman is angry, upset, or uses manipulation tactics.
- 😢 Emotional manipulation can lead men into unfulfilling relationships as they try to please women out of fear of being alone.
- 👊 It's important for men to overcome their fear of female emotional responses and stand their ground to maintain self-respect and alignment with their goals.
- ⚔️ Men are expected to lead and initiate in relationships, and cowardice in taking on leadership roles hinders their success.
- 👫 Many women prefer a dominant, successful partner rather than an equal, contrary to the societal push for egalitarian relationships.
- 🎯 Men should confidently state their desires and lead the relationship, allowing women to choose if they want to follow.
- 👍 By resolving issues related to fear and cowardice, men can build better, more fulfilling relationships.
Q & A
What does Dr. Orion Taban identify as men's greatest enemy in the sexual marketplace?
-Dr. Orion Taban identifies cowardice as men's greatest enemy in the sexual marketplace, stating that fear prevents men from getting the relationships they desire.
What are the three main ways that cowardice obstructs men's success in relationships, according to Dr. Taban?
-The three main ways are: fear of approaching women, inability to handle female emotionality, and absconding from leadership in relationships.
How does cowardice manifest in men when it comes to approaching women?
-Men fear rejection, being labeled as creepy, or leading interactions towards sexuality, which causes them to avoid approaching women they're attracted to.
What is Dr. Taban’s advice for men who are afraid of approaching women?
-He advises men to become more afraid of not getting what they want, rather than fearing potential rejection, and to overcome their fear by taking action.
How does Dr. Taban explain men’s tendency to fold in the face of female emotionality?
-Dr. Taban explains that men often give in to female emotional displays (anger, crying, shaming tactics) because they fear the emotional pain, loneliness, or guilt that might result from standing firm.
Why does Dr. Taban argue that men should not give in to female emotionality?
-He argues that giving in to female emotionality is a form of cowardice and can lead to relationships that don't serve men well, ultimately causing both the relationship and the woman to be lost.
What is Dr. Taban’s take on egalitarian relationships in the context of men leading in relationships?
-Dr. Taban argues that egalitarian relationships are often misunderstood, and while men and women are equal in value, they are not the same. He believes most women prefer a man who leads, rather than a peer or equal.
What does Dr. Taban say about hypergamy and its influence on relationships?
-Dr. Taban claims that hypergamy drives women to date and mate up status hierarchies, meaning they generally prefer older, more successful, and dominant men who can improve their quality of life.
How did Dr. Taban's own approach to relationships change when he embraced leadership?
-Dr. Taban's relationships became more peaceful, respectful, and loving when he took a more dominant role and unapologetically communicated what he wanted, instead of offering egalitarian dynamics.
What is Dr. Taban’s overarching message for men struggling in the sexual marketplace?
-Dr. Taban encourages men to overcome cowardice by confronting their fears, holding the line against female emotionality, and stepping into leadership roles in relationships to achieve the relationships they desire.
Outlines
🛑 Confronting Men's Greatest Enemy: Cowardice in the Sexual Marketplace
Dr. Orion Taban introduces the concept of cowardice as men's greatest enemy in the sexual marketplace. He discusses how fear—especially fear of rejection, being called creepy, or leading interactions toward sexuality—paralyzes men, preventing them from pursuing the relationships they desire. This cowardice manifests as avoiding approaches, hiding sexual interest, and ultimately ending up in the 'friend zone.' Taban urges men to overcome this fear by focusing on their higher goals rather than being controlled by their anxieties, highlighting that women generally expect men to initiate in romantic scenarios.
😨 Fear of Female Emotionality: Holding Firm Against Manipulation
The second form of cowardice Dr. Taban discusses is men's inability to stand firm in the face of female emotionality—such as anger, sadness, or shaming tactics. He explains that many men, despite believing they are courageous in physical confrontations, will fold when confronted with a woman's emotions. This response, driven by fear of emotional pain and scarcity, often leads men into unhealthy relationships. Taban encourages men to prioritize their life mission over temporary emotional discomfort and to recognize that giving in to emotional manipulation leads to losing both their sense of self and the relationship.
🙅♂️ Stand Strong: Learning to Tolerate Emotional Discomfort
Dr. Taban emphasizes the importance of increasing a man's capacity to tolerate negative emotions from women. He advises men to hold their ground when faced with female emotional outbursts, explaining that these emotions are often temporary and will pass. He warns against making life-altering decisions in an attempt to escape difficult emotional moments, urging men to focus on long-term goals instead of giving in to short-term discomfort. Taban argues that cowardice in the face of emotional challenges traps men in unsatisfying relationships.
👑 Leadership and Courage: Rejecting False Egalitarianism in Relationships
The third form of cowardice, according to Taban, is men's reluctance to take a leadership role in relationships. He criticizes the modern narrative that men and women should be completely equal in all aspects, arguing that most women actually prefer men who lead and take charge. Taban highlights how adopting a dominant, directive role in relationships has brought him greater success and peace. He encourages men to embrace their leadership roles, dismissing fears that this approach is misogynistic or oppressive, while noting that an unequal dynamic often results in more harmonious relationships.
🎯 Resolve Cowardice for Better Relationships
Dr. Taban concludes by summarizing the three ways cowardice manifests in men's romantic lives: fear of approaching women, fear of female emotionality, and fear of leading in relationships. He encourages men to overcome these fears to achieve the relationships they desire. Taban invites listeners to reflect on whether his insights resonate with their own experiences and promotes engaging with his content further by liking, subscribing, and considering membership or consultation options.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Cowardice
💡Sexual Marketplace
💡Approach Anxiety
Highlights
Men's greatest enemy in the sexual marketplace is cowardice, which obstructs them from getting the relationships they desire.
Men often harbor fear about women, including fear of rejection, being called creepy, and leading interactions toward a sexual encounter.
Cowardice prevents men from approaching women they are genuinely attracted to and pushes them into the friend zone.
Feeling fear is natural, but allowing fear to control behavior is a form of cowardice, especially in the sexual marketplace.
Men are expected to approach and initiate in relationships; without overcoming fear, romantic success is unlikely.
Holding firm in the face of female emotionality, such as anger or tears, is essential for men to maintain their integrity in relationships.
Catering to a woman's emotionality against better judgment is a form of cowardice, born out of a scarcity mindset.
Men who allow fear of emotional pain or loneliness to guide their decisions risk losing themselves and entering relationships that don't serve them.
Absconding from leadership in a relationship due to fear of being seen as misogynistic or oppressive is another form of cowardice.
Men and women are different, and most women do not want an equal but someone stronger, more successful, and more dominant.
Hypergamy is a fundamental concept, where women prefer to mate and date up in status hierarchies.
Egalitarian relationships often lead to conflict, and many women prefer a partner who takes a leadership role.
When men embrace a more dominant role in relationships, they experience more peace, respect, and love in their interactions.
Standing firm in the face of negative emotions is crucial, as making life-altering decisions based on temporary discomfort is detrimental.
Men who overcome cowardice in these three key areas—approach, emotionality, and leadership—are more likely to have successful relationships.
Transcripts
I'm Dr Orion taban and this is psych
Better Living Through psychology and the
topic of today's short talk is men's
greatest enemy and I'm talking about
men's greatest enemy in the context of
the sexual Marketplace what is the one
thing that most prevents men from
getting the relationships they want from
the women they want to have them with
it's very simple gentlemen in a word
men's greatest enemy is
cowardice your greatest enemy is
cowardice everything that you want with
respect to women is on the other side of
that cowardice now I understand that
that is a very charged word and I'm not
using it lightly it's the appropriate
word as we'll see there are three main
ways that men allow cowardice to
obstruct their success in the sexual
Marketplace first they're just afraid of
women they're afraid of approaching them
they're afraid of being rejected they're
afraid of being called creepy they're
afraid of leading the interaction in the
direction of a sexual encounter men
especially young men just Harbor a lot
of fear about women and that fear is
paralyzing it prevents men from
approaching women that they're actually
attracted to out in the real world and
that fear is cowering it motivates men
to hide their sexual interest which
basically means that they end up in the
friend zone over and over again feeling
afraid is okay it's perfect ly normal
under certain circumstances allowing
that fear to guide your behavior is not
preferring obedience to your fear over
and above obedience to your Higher Goals
is cowardice for better or worse as men
you are expected to approach and
initiate in the sexual Marketplace if
you cannot overcome your fear to
approach a woman declare your intentions
and escalate the interaction towards
sexuality
it's just not going to happen for you my
dudes and I would highly encourage you
to become more afraid of that outcome
than of anything an uninterested woman
could potentially do to you check out my
episode be afraid of your fear if you'd
like to hear the story of how I overcame
my own approach anxiety now the second
way that men are obstructed by cowardice
in the sexual Marketplace is that they
have significant trouble holding firm in
the face of Fe female
emotionality a lot of men believe in the
privacy of their own imaginations that
they would have the courage to hold the
line against a hostile Force confidently
repel a home Invader or take on three
guys in a bar brawl however these same
men will fold like a deck of cards when
a woman is angry or a woman starts to
cry or when a woman uses shaming tactics
or when a woman gives an ultimatum Etc
their own evoked emotion in response to
a woman's emotionality is so intolerable
to them that they give in it's like my
guys do you really think that you could
stand up to a bunch of threatening men
if you can't handle one single woman
catering to a woman's emotionality
against your better judgment is a form
of cowardice born out of a scarcity
mentality given the first form of
cowardice already discussed it can be
very difficult for a man to get a woman
you might then think well so I can't
mess this up if she leaves me who knows
if I'm going to find anyone else who
will want me and as bad as this is It's
preferable to being alone right uh not
necessarily my brother and this is how
men more or less get emotionally
manipulated into relationships that
aren't in their best interests as they
give up more and more in a misguided
attempt to make a woman happy or at
least temporarily less unhappy remember
obedience to fear over and above
obedience to Higher Goals is cowardice
in this case the cowardice is obedience
to the fear of emotional pain heartbreak
loneliness guilt and shame over and
above obedience to one's overarching
Mission and chosen path in life my dudes
I would highly encourage you to become
more afraid of losing yourself in a
relationship that doesn't serve you than
of losing any particular particular
woman and this is because among other
things men who do lose themselves in
such a relationship often end up losing
both the woman and the relationship in
the long run anyway now before I go any
further if you're liking what you're
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thank you now I get it it can be hard to
say no to a woman when she's crying or
upset or when she's angry and critical
or when she threatens to walk away but
this is the moment to hold firm this is
when you have to hold the line in the
face of the advancing forces and you do
this because the relationship you
actually want is on the other side of
this moment you have to trust me on this
because once a woman realizes that she C
that you cannot be swayed by her
emotionality she will eventually stop
trying either because she learns that
she has to use other methods to get what
she wants or because she decides to
actually leave in order to find an
easier Mark either way your situation
should improve and the best way to
strengthen your resolve to hold the line
against female emotionality is to
increase your own capacity to tolerate
negative
emotion Let Her Cry her sadness isn't
going to kill her how can it possibly
hurt you let her pout her frustration
isn't going to kill her how can it
possibly hurt you no matter how
uncomfortable the situation is there's a
very good chance that whatever she's
feeling will be gone in a few hours why
make a potentially life-altering
decision that compromises your own
Vision just because you want to escape
that difficult moment a little faster
you're not coming out ahead on that one
cowardice in the face of female
emotionality and threatened scarcity is
what tends to trap men in relationships
that don't serve
them now and the third way that men are
obstructed by cowardice in the sexual
Marketplace is by absconding from
leadership look it takes courage to
stand up and Lead it takes courage to
say I'm going to be in charge or I'm the
head of this family and there's a very
prevalent fear among men today that any
relationship that deviates from a very
narrow interpretation of
egalitarianism is misogynistic and
oppressive and disrespectful to women
this is drilled into men's heads from
the moment they start to talk
men and women are equal men and women
are equal yes men and women are equal
before God in the sense that one
particular like being is not more
inherently valuable than another right
like all men read humans are created
equal not born equal which they clearly
are not but created equal however this
part has largely been forgotten and men
and women are equal has increased ly
been misunderstood as men and women are
the same and they are not men and women
are different and what is good for the
goose isn't always good for the gander
and while some women are more
comfortable with egalitarian
relationships it's generally not women
who get offended when I talk about
relationship inequality as a positive
it's men the truth is that most women
don't want an equal they want wants
someone better who is capable of
significantly improving their quality of
life this is the basic tenant of
hypergamy women mate and date up status
hierarchies they don't really want a
peer or a colleague they want an older
stronger more successful more
experienced more dominant man this
allows them to relax more and more into
their feminine which can significantly
reduce conflict and strife in a
relationship so don't let the loud
shrill voices of the few dissuade you an
egalitarian relationship is not what
most women actually want and it takes
courage to say no we are not going to be
at the same level in this relationship
I'm going to lead and you get to choose
whether or not you want to follow and
let me tell you in my younger years when
I was trying to give women the
egalitarian relationships that I thought
they wanted it was nothing but conflict
and drama and heartache it never worked
out the turning point in my life came
when I decided to start taking a more
dominant role in my relationships I
began to unapologetically say to women
this is what I want and this is where
I'm going and if you'd like to come
along for the ride I'd be happy to have
you and since then I have had peaceful
respectful and loving relationships it
is without a doubt the change that has
made the sing single greatest difference
in improving the quality of my
relationships in my life and it can take
balls to say that especially in today's
day and age so those are the three ways
that cowardice is standing in your way
gentlemen resolve those issues and you
too can have the relationships you want
with the women you want to have them
with what do you think does this fit
with your own experience let me know in
the comments below and if you've gotten
this far you might as well like this
episode And subscribe to this channel
you may also consider becoming a channel
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review of comments or booking a paid
consultation as always thank you for
listening
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