Bowen Family Systems Therapy: Short Explanation by Dr Kirk Honda
Summary
TLDRIn this podcast, Dr. Kirk Honda discusses the foundational concepts of Bowenian therapy, developed by family therapy pioneer Murray Bowen. Key themes include anxiety as a stressor, the balance between togetherness and separateness, emotional versus intellectual guidance systems, and differentiation of self. Dr. Honda explains how a higher level of differentiation can lead to better relationships and mental health. The therapy aims to help clients act more differentiatedly, reduce symptoms, and improve well-being by managing emotional reactivity and understanding family systems.
Takeaways
- ๐ Dr. Kirk Honda introduces the principles of Bowenian therapy, emphasizing its significance in his professional and personal life.
- ๐ Anxiety is identified as a central concept, affecting thinking and reasoning, and often the root of many problems.
- ๐ค The concept of 'togetherness' versus 'separateness' is highlighted, indicating the human struggle to balance dependence and independence.
- ๐ง Bowenian theory posits two guidance systems: emotional and intellectual, suggesting effective decision-making requires balance between them.
- ๐ Differentiation of Self is the cornerstone of Bowenian therapy, with high differentiation associated with better emotional management and healthier relationships.
- ๐จโ๐ฉโ๐งโ๐ฆ Triangulation is explained as a mechanism where a third party is involved to reduce tension in a relationship, which can be either functional or dysfunctional.
- ๐จโ๐ฉโ๐งโ๐ฆ Bowen believed that the triangle formed with one's parents is crucial and sets patterns for future relationships.
- ๐จโโ๏ธ Bowenian therapists aim to help clients act more differentiated to improve relationships and reduce symptoms.
- ๐จโ๐ซ The therapy involves teaching clients about emotional awareness, management, and the dynamics of family systems.
- ๐ Critiques of Bowenian theory include its lack of cultural sensitivity, potential for imposing goals, and oversimplification of complex issues.
Q & A
What is Bowenian therapy?
-Bowenian therapy is a family therapy approach developed by Murray Bowen in the mid-20th century. It focuses on understanding how emotional tension and stress, referred to as 'anxiety,' move through family systems and how individuals can manage emotional reactivity through differentiation.
What are the two opposing forces Bowen identified in all relationships?
-Bowen identified the forces of togetherness and separateness. Togetherness drives us to seek connection and approval from others, while separateness pushes us to maintain independence and individuality.
What is differentiation according to Bowen?
-Differentiation is the ability to distinguish between one's emotional and intellectual guidance systems and to maintain one's sense of self while being in close relationships with others. Higher differentiation means less emotional reactivity and greater independence.
How does Bowenian therapy address anxiety?
-Bowenian therapy views anxiety as a key element that moves through family systems and affects individuals' thinking and behavior. The therapy helps individuals manage anxiety by improving their differentiation, which in turn reduces emotional reactivity and enhances thoughtful decision-making.
What is the concept of triangulation in Bowenian therapy?
-Triangulation occurs when two individuals in conflict bring in a third party to reduce the tension between them. Bowen believed that triangulation is a common way to manage relational stress, but it can perpetuate dysfunction if the third party becomes entangled in the issue.
How do Bowenian therapists use genograms?
-Bowenian therapists use genograms to map out family history and structure, assess each family member's differentiation level, and examine how anxiety and stress move through the family system. Genograms help therapists identify patterns and triangles within the family.
What critiques have been raised against Bowenian therapy?
-Critics argue that Bowenian therapy privileges independence over emotional connection, is culturally biased, overlooks the therapist's role within the system, and oversimplifies dysfunction by focusing on parental influence rather than seeing family dynamics as circular. Some also believe it doesnโt fully address trauma or include the entire family in treatment.
How do Bowenian therapists help clients improve their differentiation?
-Bowenian therapists work with clients to manage emotional reactivity, avoid getting drawn into dysfunctional triangles, and communicate needs more effectively. They teach clients how to be thoughtful and calm under stress and encourage them to develop more independent and self-soothing behaviors.
What is the role of the therapist's own differentiation in Bowenian therapy?
-Bowen believed that for a therapist to be effective, they must differentiate from their own family of origin. This involves remaining calm, non-defensive, and emotionally connected while not getting entangled in family dynamics. Therapists are encouraged to apply this differentiation process in their personal and professional lives.
What are the benefits of differentiation for individuals according to Bowen?
-Individuals with higher differentiation are less emotionally reactive, better able to manage stress, more thoughtful in decision-making, less dependent on others for approval, and less likely to repeat problematic relationship patterns. They also tend to have more fulfilling and balanced relationships.
Outlines
๐ Introduction to Bowenian Therapy
The video script introduces the topic of Bowenian therapy, named after Murray Bowen, a pioneer in family therapy. The host, Dr. Kirk Honda, shares his personal connection with Bowen's theory, which he first encountered in 1997. The main concepts of Bowenian therapy are outlined: anxiety as a source of emotional tension that impairs thinking, the balance between togetherness and separateness as opposing forces in life, the importance of differentiating between emotional and intellectual guidance systems, and the concept of differentiation itself, which is central to the theory. Differentiation is described as the ability to manage one's emotional and intellectual responses independently and to maintain individuality in relationships. The script also discusses the implications of differentiation levels on emotional reactivity, decision-making, and overall well-being. It mentions that people tend to marry and befriend others with similar levels of differentiation, suggesting that these levels are relatively stable throughout life.
๐ Bowenian Therapy Concepts and Critiques
This section delves deeper into the concepts of Bowenian therapy, focusing on triangulationโthe tendency for two people in conflict to involve a third party to reduce tension. The script differentiates between dysfunctional and functional triangles and emphasizes the importance of the triangle between an individual and their parents in shaping future relationships. The role of Bowenian therapists is explored, including their efforts to help clients act in a more differentiated manner to improve relationships and well-being. Therapists are described as teaching clients to manage stress thoughtfully, differentiate from their family of origin, and understand family systems. The script also touches on the structured and cerebral nature of Bowenian therapy sessions and the importance of therapists differentiating from their own families to be effective. Critiques of Bowenian theory are presented, including concerns from feminists, post-modernists, systemic purists, collaborative therapists, and trauma therapists, as well as critiques regarding cultural competency and the simplicity of the theory in light of contemporary neuroscience.
๐ Conclusion and Invitation
The final paragraph of the script concludes the video by inviting viewers to visit the website 'psychology in Seattle' for more information and to engage with online continuing education courses. It serves as a closing remark, thanking the audience for their time and encouraging them to take care, thus ending the video on a positive and engaging note.
Mindmap
Keywords
๐กAnxiety
๐กTogetherness
๐กSeparateness
๐กGuidance Systems
๐กDifferentiation
๐กTriangulation
๐กFusion
๐กSymptom Bearer
๐กFamily of Origin
๐กDetriangulation
๐กBowenian Therapy
Highlights
Murray Bowen was a pioneer of family therapy in the mid-20th century, and his theory continues to be taught and applied in modern therapy.
Bowen used the term 'anxiety' to describe emotional tension or stress, believing it moves through a system from one person to another, impairing reasoning and causing problems.
Bowen emphasized two opposing forces: togetherness (the need to connect with others) and separateness (the need for independence). He believed maintaining a balance between these forces is essential for healthy relationships.
Bowen proposed two internal guidance systems: the emotional (feeling) system and the intellectual (thinking) system. Differentiating between the two is key to making functional decisions.
Differentiation, Bowen's most famous concept, refers to the ability to separate one's own emotions from those of others while still maintaining close relationships. High differentiation leads to better decision-making and emotional stability.
People with high differentiation can remain calm in stressful situations, have healthier relationships, and are less prone to emotional reactivity and physical/social problems.
People with low differentiation struggle with emotional reactivity, are more prone to seeking approval, have more conflict in relationships, and often repeat problematic behavior patterns.
Bowen introduced the idea of a 'differentiation scale' from 1 to 100, with most people remaining at the level they had when they left home. Few people score above 60.
Bowen believed that relational tension leads people to form triangles, where a third party is involved to alleviate stress. Some triangles perpetuate dysfunction, while others help resolve it.
The most important triangle in life is the one between a person and their parents, which shapes future relationship patterns.
Bowenian therapists aim to increase differentiation, helping clients manage stress, avoid emotional reactivity, and communicate their needs effectively.
Bowenian therapy often focuses on working with the most differentiated family member and sometimes only involves the parents, even if the presenting issue is with the child.
Critiques of Bowenian therapy include concerns from feminists about the emphasis on independence, from systemic purists who argue it doesn't account for circular dynamics, and from trauma therapists for not sufficiently addressing trauma recovery.
Bowen's own experience differentiating from his family influenced his theory, and he encouraged therapists to do the same with their own families to improve their therapeutic effectiveness.
Despite its critiques, Bowenian theory provides valuable insights on relational dynamics, particularly in understanding family systems and emotional interactions.
Transcripts
hello and welcome to this psychology in
Seattle podcast I'm your host dr. Kirk
Honda and today's short video is on bow
inian therapy I've had a long history
with Bowen and his famous theory on my
first day as a professor in 1997 I was
extremely nervous as I gave my very
first lecture and this first lecture was
on Bellini in theory since then
millennion theory has continued to be a
part of my teaching of students my
supervision of therapists my work with
clients and in my personal life in the
mid 20th century Murray Bowen was among
the pioneers of family therapy and
nearly every family therapist has
continued to study his theory in
graduate school today here are the main
concepts as I see them number one
anxiety he used the word anxiety as a
general term for emotional tension or
stress Bowen believe that anxiety moves
through the system from one person to
the next he believed it impairs our
ability to think and reason he also
believed that many presenting problems
are a result of anxiety or stress number
two together in us versus separateness
born believe that all life possesses
these two opposing forces that
togetherness force compels us to be with
others to seek approval and to attach to
others and the separateness force
compels us to be independent to have our
own beliefs and to not be smothered by
others Bowen asserted that we strive for
balance between these two forces and if
they are balanced well we can be close
to our loved ones without losing our
sense of individuality number three the
feeling guidance system versus the
intellectual guidance system Bowen
believed that we have to inner guidance
systems the feeling or emotional
guidance system and the intellectual or
reasoning guidance system the feeling
guidance system involves emotion
automatic reactions knee-jerk reactions
instincts urges etc and the intellectual
guidance system involves thinking
judgment logic rational thought
reasoning etc Bowen asserted in order to
make functional decisions we need access
to both guidance systems and we need to
be able to differentiate between them
number four differentiation this is the
most famous concept if someone is
differentiated they can do two things
well they can differentiate between
their emotional guidance system and
their reasoning guidance system this
allows them to choose to be guided by
either system and they can differentiate
themselves from other people they
don't get wrapped up in other people's
emotions and they can be intimate with
others while also remaining separate and
individual in general people at higher
levels of differentiation have less
emotional reactivity have the ability to
calm their emotions can make more
thoughtful and intentional decisions
don't give in to pressure from others
are less vulnerable to stress are
independent are less prone to
triangulation have the ability to
extricate themselves from emotional
entanglements have fewer physical
problems emotional problems and social
problems can have closeness with others
without getting lost in the relationship
and have more fulfilling relationships
in general people at lower levels of
differentiation are more emotional
reactive have difficulty engaging and
thoughtful behavior have difficulty
saying no to people are more critical
and judgmental are overly concerned
about approval are more dependent on
others are more prone to triangulation
and measurement disengagement conflict
and cutoff have difficulty making
decisions have greater physical problems
emotional problems and social problems
have difficulty communicating directly
and repeat problematic relationships
rather than learning from their mistakes
Bullen rated people on a differentiation
scale from 1 to 100 with 100 being
completely differentiated and 1 being
completely fused in a family the person
with the lowest number is often the
symptom bearer of the family Fusion
Bowen believed that most people stay at
the differentiation level they had when
they left home which is very rarely
above 60 also we tend to choose spouses
and friends with similar differentiation
levels so he believed that your
differentiation level is relatively
fixed for life however your
differentiation level will diverge from
your baseline depending on your current
stress level and the coping skills that
you employ Bolen believe that you can
slowly raise your baseline
differentiation level by managing your
emotional reactivity and by D
triangulating yourself from your family
of origin particularly your parents
number 5
triangulation aside from differentiation
this is other famous concept Bowen
believed that when two people experience
relational tension they tend to pull in
a third party to dissipate that tension
here are some examples of triangles a
conflictual married couple focuses on a
child to avoid their marital Khan
select two people meet for the first
time and to alleviate their nervousness
they talk about the weather or about
sports a wife complains to her therapist
about her husband during a marital
conflict a child misbehaves to distract
the parents from their fighting a
married couple has lost faith in their
ability to communicate so they watch a
lot of TV in this example the TV is a
triangulated third party as an example
from Star Wars Anakin Skywalker
complains to Emperor Palpatine about the
Jedi Council another example from Star
Wars when Princess Leia argues with Han
Solo she kisses Luke Skywalker these are
all examples of triangles Bolin believed
that particular triangles become fixed
over time and families and act
predictably to alleviate stress and
anxiety I like to delineate between what
I might call dysfunctional triangles and
functional triangles a dysfunctional
triangle is one that perpetuates the
problem and a functional triangle helps
resolve the problem Boehm believed that
the triangle between you and your
parents is the most important triangle
in your life and that this triangle
determines the interactional patterns
for your future relationships you can D
triangulate from a dysfunctional
triangle by being as differentiated as
possible when engaged with the triangle
by being as calm and cool as possible by
not taking sides by not becoming emotion
reactive or you can make it a functional
triangle by helping the dyad to resolve
their problem so what do Bellini and
therapists do in a nutshell bow Indian
therapists try to help their clients act
in a more differentiated manner which is
thought to result in better
relationships reduce symptoms and
greater well-being to this end they help
people to be thoughtful in the face of
stress rather than reacting without
thinking they might teach emotional
awareness skills and emotional
management skills they might coach the
client to differentiate from their
family of origin but when Ian's
therapists like to make Gina Grahams
with their clients they also assess the
family pattern the family history the
family structure each person's
differentiation level the way the family
handles anxiety and stress the way
anxiety moves through the family and the
way they triangulate boy Indian
therapists like to help people
individually to become more independent
and to be more self soothing bonia
therapists teach their clients about how
family systems work
so clients have a better understanding
of how their own family operates boy
Indian therapist try to help people
communicate their needs in a more
differentiated manner they try to help
people to shift from trying to change
others to trying to change themselves
they encourage clients to assume
responsibility for their own life boin
Ian sessions tend to be controlled and
cerebral rather than emotional and
passionate join Ian's therapists tend to
work with just the parents or even just
the most differentiated parent even if
the presenting problem involves a child
Bornean therapists are diligent about
not getting pulled into dysfunctional
triangles with the clients also bowen
believed that in order for a therapist
to be effective they had to
differentiate from their family of
origin in the same way he differentiated
from his own family of origin which is
described in his famous paper published
in 1972 in this paper he describes how
he differentiated from his family of
origin by remaining calm and non
defensive with them and he D
triangulated from his parents who often
confided in him about the other parent
he also established emotional
connectedness by having one-on-one
contact with each family member he
gained insight in how the family system
operated and found that this process
increases overall differentiation level
and he was able to be less reactive with
everyone in his life he also found that
he was a better therapist as a result so
he encouraged his trainees to follow the
same procedure and differentiate from
their own families of origin so what are
the critiques of Bornean theory
feminists criticized the way Blaine
Ian's theory privileges masculine
Northern European culture by promoting
independence and devaluing emotion post
modernists criticized Bonilla theory
says the theory does not recognize the
way the therapist is a part of the
system
systemic purists criticized Bonilla
Theory since it posits that dysfunction
in fusion travels in one direction from
parents to children rather than
acknowledging that dysfunctions are
often circular in nature with children
participating in the family dynamic
collaborative therapists criticized boy
nian therapy for imposing goals upon the
client such as de triangulation rather
than working collaboratively with the
client other kinds of family therapists
criticized boy knee in therapy for not
including the entire family and
treatment proponents of cultural
competency might criticize bowing in
therapy for not sufficiently emphasizing
cultural awareness and sensitivity
trauma therapist Mike
sighs Bonilla therapy for not
incorporating our contemporary
understanding of trauma recovery others
criticize the theory for providing a
reductive and simplistic explanation for
too many presenting problems in light of
current neuroscience some might argue
that it is inaccurate to dichotomize
thinking and feeling having said all
that all of my favorite approaches have
at least some problems with them and as
long as these critiques are considered
carefully bibo indian therapists i
believe this form of therapy can be very
helpful with many presenting problems
but probably not all what do I like
about this approach I find the concepts
of differentiation and triangulation to
be extremely useful I like the way the
theory conceptualizes pathology is a
relational issue I like the way it
provides a way of tracking emotions as
they move through families I think the
idea of establishing a differentiated
one-on-one relationship with each member
of your family of origin is a very
useful idea the assessment of triangles
is also very useful in treating families
I like how this approach gives
permission to family therapists to work
with individuals if they determine that
it would be the most effective way to
work with them and finally I like this
theory because it provided the
foundation for the much-loved family of
origin course in my marriage and Family
Therapy program at Antioch University
Seattle that's the end of this short
video if you want more information go to
psychology in Seattle comm where you can
contact us and take our online
continuing education courses thanks for
joining me and please take care
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