How ANYONE can learn to be more dominant
Summary
TLDRVictoria discusses whether men, particularly those who are shy, introverted, or inexperienced, can learn to be more dominant in the bedroom. She references the 'Sexual Dominance Escalation Course' by porn star Sterling Cooper, who claims that many women have deep-rooted fantasies of being dominated. Victoria agrees, noting that while not all women share these desires, many do, and that men can learn techniques to fulfill these fantasies. She emphasizes that dominance can be taught through practice and that confidence, rather than physical attributes, is key to enhancing sexual experiences.
Takeaways
- π₯ The video discusses whether men can learn to be more dominant in relationships, especially if they are shy or introverted.
- π Victoria mentions a course called 'Sexual Dominance Escalation' by Sterling Cooper, a professional porn star with extensive experience.
- π₯ A common theme from Cooper's experiences is that many women desire to be dominated, although it's not universal.
- π Victoria references 'Decode Your Kink', a book by a sex therapist, which discusses the difficulty people have in acknowledging their true sexual desires due to societal stigma.
- π There's a societal taboo around kink and fetishes, which were historically viewed as illegal or pathological.
- πΉ Men often lack the confidence to physically dominate in the bedroom, which can be a thrilling experience for women.
- π‘ The video suggests that anyone can learn to be more dominant with the right guidance and practice.
- π― The course breaks down dominance into actionable moves that can be incorporated into a typical sexual encounter.
- π The popularity of 'Fifty Shades of Grey' is cited as evidence that many women are interested in dominance and submission fantasies.
- π€ Even nerdy or inexperienced men can become dominant; it's not something you have to be born with.
- π Understanding and exploring one's own sexuality is important, even if you're learning to fulfill a partner's fantasies.
Q & A
What is the main topic of Victoria's video?
-The main topic of Victoria's video is whether any man can learn to be more dominant in relationships, especially if they are shy, scared, introverted, or lack confidence with women.
What course did Victoria take on sexual dominance?
-Victoria took the 'Sexual Dominance Escalation Course' by Sterling Cooper, a professional porn star who has had experiences with over 500 women.
What common theme did Sterling Cooper notice in his experiences with women?
-Sterling Cooper noticed that a common theme in his experiences with women is that they want to be dominated.
What book does Victoria mention that discusses kink and sexuality?
-Victoria mentions the book 'Decode Your Kink' by a sex therapist who helps people understand their sexuality.
Why do people often hide their true sexual desires according to the book mentioned?
-People often hide their true sexual desires because of a sex-negative culture and the historical view of kink as illegal or a psychological disorder.
What is the significance of the book 'Fifty Shades of Grey' in Victoria's discussion?
-The book 'Fifty Shades of Grey' is significant as it reflects the prevalence of fantasies about domination and submission, which many women may secretly desire.
How does Victoria feel about the idea that only naturally dominant men can be physically dominant in the bedroom?
-Victoria believes that anyone can learn to be physically dominant in the bedroom, regardless of their natural tendencies, through learning specific moves and techniques.
What advice does Victoria give to men who are inexperienced or lack confidence in being sexually dominant?
-Victoria advises that men can learn to be more dominant by incorporating certain moves and techniques into their sexual encounters, and that this can make them more attractive to women.
What does Victoria mean by 'service top' in the context of sexual dominance?
-A 'service top' is someone who is dominant for the pleasure of their partner, even if they don't have a corresponding dominant kink themselves.
How does Victoria feel about the role of physical attractiveness in sexual performance?
-Victoria believes that physical attractiveness has little to do with sexual performance in bed, and that men who are less conventionally attractive can be just as good as more attractive men if they learn how to be dominant.
What is the upcoming event that Victoria is nervous about?
-Victoria is nervous about her upcoming Q&A session with the Fearless Man, where she has public speaking anxiety.
Outlines
π€ Exploring Dominance in Relationships
Victoria discusses the possibility of shy or introverted men learning to be more dominant in relationships. She references a course by Sterling Cooper, a professional porn star with extensive experience, who suggests that women often desire to be dominated. Victoria acknowledges the variability in women's desires but points to a prevalent theme in popular culture and her own experiences that supports this notion. She also mentions the book 'Decode Your Kink' by a sex therapist, which indicates a societal resistance to acknowledging one's true sexual desires due to a sex-negative culture. Victoria emphasizes the importance of establishing consent and understanding before engaging in any dominant behavior.
π₯ The Impact of Physical Dominance
Victoria shares her personal experiences, noting the intense thrill she felt when a partner was physically dominant during intimacy. She suggests that many men lack this confidence and that learning these skills could make them unforgettable to their partners. She references the popularity of 'Fifty Shades of Grey' as evidence of the widespread appeal of dominance fantasies. Victoria then discusses the 'Sexual Dominance Escalation Course' and how it breaks down techniques that can be incorporated into a typical sexual encounter. She emphasizes that these skills can be learned and that they can be very appealing to women, regardless of the man's physical appearance or experience.
π§ Can Anyone Learn to Be Dominant?
Victoria explores the question of whether dominance is an innate skill or something that can be learned. She argues that anyone can learn to be more dominant, using the course material as an example of how it can be broken down into manageable steps. She also touches on the idea that being nerdy or inexperienced does not preclude one from becoming dominant, and that there is a certain appeal in a less traditionally dominant person taking charge. Victoria suggests that understanding and fulfilling a woman's fantasies can be incredibly attractive and that looks are not as important as performance and confidence in the bedroom. She concludes by stating that she believes anyone can learn to be dominant, regardless of their perceived 'lame' qualities.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Dominant
π‘Introverted
π‘Confidence
π‘Sexual Dominance
π‘Kink
π‘Consent
π‘Shy
π‘Nerdy
π‘Service Top
π‘Fifty Shades of Grey
π‘Taboo
Highlights
Victoria introduces the topic of whether any guy can learn to be more dominant, especially if he's shy, scared, or introverted.
Victoria mentions taking a course on sexual dominance, specifically the 'Sexual Dominance Escalation Course' by Sterling Cooper, who claims women want to be dominated.
Sterling Cooper, a professional porn star with experience with over 500 women, claims that most women want to be dominated, which resonates with Victoria's thoughts.
Victoria discusses how societal shame and taboos surrounding sexuality, especially kinks, have kept people from exploring their true desires.
She references the book 'Decode Your Kink,' where the author (a sex therapist) notes that many people struggle to understand or express their true sexual fantasies.
Victoria believes thereβs strong evidence, both from her own experience and cultural observations, that domination fantasies are more prevalent in women than commonly assumed.
Victoria mentions that many men lack the confidence to be physically dominant in the bedroom, even though women may desire it.
She argues that sexual domination offers a 'thrill beyond all thrills,' and that men who are physically dominant in the bedroom are often unforgettable to their partners.
Victoria suggests that some fantasies only surface during moments of extreme passion, like just before orgasm, when people unconsciously express their deepest desires.
She believes that anyone can learn to be more dominant, even if they arenβt naturally inclined, and emphasizes that itβs more about learning the right moves and techniques.
Victoria notes that many kinky people are often nerdy, suggesting that being intellectual might lead to more open exploration of kinks.
She emphasizes that dominance can be learned, especially through courses that break down techniques in an easy-to-follow way.
Victoria reflects on how many men she dated were shy and introverted but could have been seen as more sexually appealing if they had learned to be more dominant.
She finds it especially attractive when a man who isnβt physically imposing or stereotypically dominant can still dominate in a powerful way.
Victoria concludes that being dominant in bed doesnβt require being physically attractive or 'a Chad,' and that learning these skills can give men an advantage over more attractive men.
Transcripts
hi guys
it is me victoria today i wanted to make
a video
on the topic can any guy
learn to be more dominant like if you're
shy
if you're scared if you're introverted
if you're not confident with women
um can you learn to be more dominant
because um recently i took this
course i keep saying i'm going to review
it for you but just want to finish a few
more of the modules um
sexual dominance escalation course and
it's this guy
um sterling cooper he's actually
a professional porn star now slept with
over 500 women
so in the intro to his course he's
saying
basically the common theme that he's
noticed in his 500
women experience that's impressive um is
that they want to be dominated and when
are you saying this i'm like
that's what i thought you know that's
what i always
thought but you know i i kind of
couldn't
be sure since i myself have not slept
with 500 women but
just you know drawing the patterns of
course not every woman
wants this you know and our sexualities
are unique to some degree but i
always sense that you know there's just
so
much evidence like in popular culture
that
these kinky fantasies
that women have are so much more
prevalent than people let on because
guys they're hidden deep down
in secrecy okay they're like i just read
this book about
um it was called decode your kink and
he's a sex therapist who helps people
understand you know their sexuality and
he's saying
it is so hard for people to come to him
um a lot of times they just never show
up for the appointment because
we have such a sex negative culture so
many different ways we are ashamed for
true sexuality and
and kink itself was literally viewed as
illegal um for a long time and also a
pathology like in the dsm
of you know psychological disorders it
was
like you're sick you need a psychiatrist
you need to be locked away in the mental
asylum so
you know it's very recent
that you know people are kind of coming
out of the closet so to speak about
these desires
so i totally agree with this 500
woman porn star guy that you know these
it's so important
and i see in so many like coaching
groups for men
they're kind of saying the same thing
but i feel they're watering it down a
little
because they are basically saying you
know
you need to embody masculine energy okay
yes like i'm sure that's very good but
it's like practically speaking like
what does that mean and some of the
videos i've watched i'm like this is so
ambiguous
like this is so hard like and also just
by embodying
masculine energy like are you really
going to have the skills
do you basically know
the kinds of things women watch you know
you know sometimes
in deep down they they want to be choked
they want to be pushed up against the
wall they won't be slapped in the face
they want to be
you know um tied up they want all this
kind of stuff
of course don't just like push this on a
woman because you
heard this in my video you have to work
up to this establish
you know what they want read body
language consent and all that but
deep down i'm really hearing this
um in so many little ways
and i myself personally experience it as
well
this fantasies of
domination those aren't the only
fantasies i experience
but that is a big chunk of them
so the next question is
a lot of guys um i
slept with quite a few guys let's just
say
i don't i guess i don't need to share my
number
they did not know
how to be physically dominant um they
were pretty good in some ways maybe they
were confident they were sensual
but very few of them had the confidence
to really
physically dominate a woman in the
bedroom
then when i did experience that it was
like
fireworks in my head a thrill beyond all
thrills um
it's it was so intense that i knew that
you know this is
deep it's primal it's big it's
so much better than just your average
sex session um
that i really think that more men need
to know this and they should try it out
do little of that and you're
unforgettable you're
giving a woman something that she will
never forget
can never forget and needs
from you really needs because
she has all these secret fantasies in
her head a lot of times
very unconscious like in this book i
read
decode your kink he was saying for most
people
it's only in that extreme height of
passion moment right before orgasm that
some piece of their true deepest primal
fantasy
slips out and they end up shouting
something
crazy and kinky like for a guy maybe
like you
little [Β __Β ] or something like that or
for a girl just like
[Β __Β ] me heart or whatever they're saying
and that's just the tiniest tip of the
iceberg
of you know the fantasies and for me i
know it took me
a long time to bring them to conscious
awareness
bring them to the surface because there
was so much shame
so much taboo that i didn't feel i could
tell anyone
i didn't even want to acknowledge it
myself so it's just one of those things
where it's happening
it's like you don't want to acknowledge
it so you never even acknowledge it
to yourself even though you know what's
happening so anyway back to the original
question of
can anyone learn to do it um do you have
to be born with the skill
so some people
they are born with a skill okay
however i do think that anyone can learn
to do it
because in this course i just took the
sexual as
dominance escalation course he breaks it
down so well
i'm like yeah just add in this move plus
this move plus this move
throw it into your typical sex session
and she's
you're gonna get like a huge bang for
your buck if you will i hate puns but i
think i just made one
so you know just throwing a little
work up to it she will love it
okay obviously not all women um
[Music]
but a lot of them
are gonna like it all right let's go
back again to the prevalence of fifty
shades of grey right
it's a big deal so
i don't know if it's the majority
i think it's the majority from my
experience
so yeah and you know there's different
ways to establish
consent and stuff or just really
baby baby step up to it um
but my point remains is big so now
do i think anyone can do it yes so i
wrote down a few
points i wanted to make okay so first of
all
let's say you're a very nerdy guy you
have no sexual experience
most kinky people are very nerdy
very very nerdy because they think about
sex deeply um
i don't know if it's something deeper
than that maybe like intelligent people
have more kinks um but
or maybe you know they feel free to
explore them
because they're not focused on just
conformity but yeah um so if you're
nerdy
you're in good company because most
kinky guys aren't ready
number two it's a matter of learning
moves and having someone teach you like
i said this course
it's not hard i mean i was thinking wow
if i ever need to dominate someone
like i'll be able to do it because
he kind of broke it down so well like i
could incorporate this
and you know when i was a stripper i
think i should have incorporated it into
the lap dances and stuff because
i've seen some strippers who do maybe
they're more naturally dominant
they did to me in lap dance and i was
like well this is this is fun this is
hot this
is cool so i should have done it to
girls and guys
anyway then
in my experience dating
there were lots of guys who were nerdy
who were introverted
were shy were inexperienced and i kind
of was just
hoping i'm just like come on guy like
you can do that i was totally willing
to see them in a sexual light if they
had
only manned up and a little bit more
dominant
known a few of these tricks on how to be
more
physically dominant so the point is
yes like i could totally see
one of these guys if he wasn't naturally
this way
in a sexual light um wanted to be sexual
with him if he had only
stepped it up a little bit because i
have another point in here which is that
somehow it makes it even hotter i think
in a weird like humiliating way
do you have some sort of like wimpy
guy like bossing you around because it
shows he's even more powerful it's like
that's
chihuahua who's the head of the pack the
dog pack
okay it's like there's something cool
about that it's like
damn this guy is not going to get pushed
around even by guys
20 times his size he's dominating them
so
um yeah so no i don't think it's a
problem
if you're not a chat or whatever
you don't have perfect bone structure
and you're not
like tall because this can 100
i swear to you make up for it um
i really think that women crave this
fantasy so bad that they're kind of
looking for opportunities to take it
with whoever
they know they can't be choosy because
these chads or whatever
they don't do it okay they kind of have
this asshole-ish
tendencies where they're selfish and
women tend to like that
in a way in the bedroom a lot of time
because it kind of mimics domination
uh it kind of mimics like being a
selfish like [Β __Β ] which
they kind of want to feel like used and
controlled like that but
they don't really know how to do much so
if you learn this stuff and if you
can do it you're going to be ahead of
like
99 of all chats i swear to you
i've slept with a lot of chats let's
just say that
and they are nothing like special and
men
um there's nothing they do better that
someone who's less attractive
couldn't do or couldn't do better the
looks have nothing to do with their
performance in bed
um they can be just as boring as you
know other people
um so yes
i do think it is possible to learn
however you know are you gonna really be
able to
truly understand
the fantasies of a submissive woman if
you don't have the corresponding
dominant
compatible kink i'm not sure
but you can definitely be the service
top and
do it for her pleasure and have her
explain it to you
but um make sure to
understand your own sexuality what you
like as well but that's a topic for
another video
so in conclusion i do think anyone can
learn to be dominant
or more dominant no matter how
lame you feel you are i don't know if
that's offensive but let's hope not
anyway guys
i am doing a q a for the first time
tonight with the fearless man
i hope it goes well because i have
public speaking anxiety
i've had some pretty bad experiences
lately where i just blink
the anxiety symptoms take over so let's
hope that doesn't happen
but um if it doesn't happen then i am
super looking forward to just
talking to you guys like i hope it can
be more like a discussion
than a q a because i like to hear your
points of view as well
i'm not the expert i'm not a man i'm not
a dating expert i'm not dating coach
normal person well i don't know how
normal but anyway
all right guys comment down below what
do you think okay bye
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