Is My Skin Brown Because I Drank Chocolate Milk? | Beverly Daniel Tatum | TEDxStanford

Summary

In this compelling speech, the speaker addresses the importance of discussing race with children. She shares personal anecdotes of her son's early experiences with race-related questions and the challenges of explaining complex racial issues to young children. The speaker emphasizes the need to foster open dialogue, correct misconceptions, and instill pride in one's heritage while also acknowledging the painful history of slavery and resistance. She encourages educators and parents to engage in these conversations to shape a more inclusive future.

Takeaways

• 🧒 Early Race-Related Memories: People often have early memories related to race, usually from grade school, associated with emotions like confusion, anxiety, fear, embarrassment, sadness, and shame.
• 🗣️ Lack of Conversation: Many people do not discuss their early race-related experiences with adults, possibly due to an unspoken rule that race is not a topic to be discussed.
• 👶 Children's Curiosity: Young children are naturally curious about differences, including race, and often ask questions that reflect their misunderstandings or societal biases.
• 👩‍🏫 Teachers' Dilemma: Teachers often struggle with how to address questions about race and physical differences in the classroom, sometimes resorting to selective inattention.
• 👩‍👦 Parental Response: Parents also find it challenging to discuss race with their children, often responding with embarrassment or silence rather than education.
• 🌈 Colorblind vs. Color Silent: The desire to be colorblind can lead to color silence, where children learn not to talk about race, which can perpetuate misunderstandings.
• 🗨️ Importance of Dialogue: Open conversations about race are crucial for children to understand and challenge societal norms and biases.
• 👦 Jonathan's Experience: The speaker's son, Jonathan, had a preschool conversation about skin color that led to a discussion about melanin and the natural variation in skin tones.
• 🏪 Grocery Store Encounter: A scenario involving a mother and daughter in a grocery store highlights how children can innocently express biased views, requiring careful parental guidance.
• 📚 Historical Context: The speaker emphasizes the importance of providing historical context when discussing race, including the resistance and resilience of enslaved Africans, and the role of white allies.
• 🌟 Positive Affirmation: It's important to affirm children's identities and instill pride in their heritage while discussing race and history.

Q & A

What is the significance of early race-related memories in the script?

Early race-related memories are significant because they often carry strong emotions such as confusion, anxiety, fear, embarrassment, sadness, or shame. These emotions can shape a person's understanding and attitude towards race and are often not discussed with adults, leading to a lack of conversation and understanding.

Why did the speaker's son, Jonathan, think his skin was brown because of drinking chocolate milk?

Jonathan, being a preschooler, had not yet learned about melanin and made a connection based on his own experiences and observations. He associated the color of his skin with the color of chocolate milk, which he had seen turn skin temporarily brown.

What did the speaker do when her son asked about the color of his skin?

The speaker explained to her son that his skin color was due to melanin and that everyone has some, even if it's not visible. She used the example of Eddie getting a tan to illustrate that skin color can change.

Why did the teacher not address the issue of physical differences in the classroom?

The teacher may not have addressed the issue because it hadn't come up in a way she was aware of, or she might have been unsure of how to handle the conversation. It's also possible that she practiced selective inattention, choosing to ignore conversations that she didn't know how to address.

What is 'color silent' as mentioned in the script?

'Color silent' refers to the phenomenon where children learn not to talk about race or skin color, often due to a lack of guidance or discomfort from adults when such topics arise.

How did the speaker handle her son's confusion about being called 'black'?

The speaker clarified that 'black' is a term used to describe African Americans and that it doesn't literally mean the color black. She emphasized the pride in being African American and the diversity of skin tones within the community.

What was the speaker's approach to discussing slavery with her young son?

The speaker approached the topic by reassuring her son that slavery was in the past and not something to worry about. She emphasized resistance and rebellion, highlighting that not all white people supported slavery and that there were allies who fought against it.

Why did the speaker choose to discuss slavery with her son?

The speaker chose to discuss slavery to provide historical context and to address her son's confusion about being African American. She wanted to ensure he understood the past and felt proud of his heritage.

What was the speaker's son's reaction to the discussion about slavery?

The son was curious and asked questions, such as why people didn't return to Africa after slavery was abolished. His reaction showed a desire to understand his heritage and the history of his people.

What is the importance of having conversations about race according to the speaker?

The speaker emphasizes that conversations about race are crucial for changing the future. She believes that silence will not help, and it's important to discuss these topics, even with young children, to foster understanding and break the cycle of avoidance.