The 30% Rule: A Secret From Psychology That Makes People Respect You

Summary

This video explores the dual nature of confidence through the character Don Draper, highlighting external projection and internal comfort. It dissects Draper's body language, such as relaxed postures and controlled eye contact, to demonstrate how these cues can enhance one's confidence in various situations. The video also delves into non-reactivity and the importance of being authentic, culminating in the idea that true confidence stems from believing in one's ability to handle any situation, regardless of external validation.

Takeaways

• 👔 Don Draper embodies two types of confidence: external, which helps in social situations, and internal, which is about feeling comfortable in any scenario.
• 💼 External confidence can be projected through relaxed body language, such as asymmetrical sitting and spreading out comfortably.
• 🚶‍♂️ Non-verbal cues like moving freely in any environment signal comfort and ownership, which can be mimicked by maintaining a confident stance.
• 🛋️ Don Draper leans back in his chair, creating a dynamic where others work for his attention, a tactic that can be applied in negotiations.
• 👀 He uses eye contact strategically, being aloof initially and then giving full attention when making key points to captivate the audience.
• 🤔 Non-reactivity is a deeper layer of confidence; Don Draper remains calm under pressure, which can be developed by not overreacting to mistakes.
• 🕴️ The ability to remain silent during stressful situations allows for more thoughtful responses, as opposed to appearing frantic or out of control.
• 🤝 Don's approach to persuasion involves not trying to convince others but positioning himself as an equal partner, which can be more effective.
• 🚫 Walking away from a situation without an emotional outburst signals confidence and power, as opposed to petulance.
• 💪 The deepest layer of confidence is the belief that you will be okay no matter what, which can be developed by living authentically and telling the truth even when it's difficult.
• 🌟 The video suggests a program called Charisma University to fast-track the development of both internal and external confidence.

Q & A

What are the two types of confidence mentioned in the script?

The script mentions external confidence, which is the confidence you project to others, and internal confidence, which is how comfortable you feel in any given situation.

How does Don Draper's body language contribute to his external confidence?

Don Draper's body language, such as sitting asymmetrically, spreading himself out comfortably, and moving freely in most environments, signals a sense of comfort and ownership, contributing to his external confidence.

What is the effect of Don Draper leaning back in his chair during conversations?

Leaning back in his chair, even in situations where he might want to win someone over, flips the dynamic and makes others work harder to win his attention, thereby projecting confidence.

How does Don Draper use eye contact to project confidence?

Don Draper uses eye contact strategically; he starts interactions with aloof, limited eye contact to make others try to win his attention, and then gives full, piercing eye contact when making key points to keep people captivated and show confidence.

What is non-reactivity in the context of confidence, as discussed in the script?

Non-reactivity refers to the ability to remain calm and not overreact to high-stress situations or one's own mistakes, which is a deeper layer of confidence that shows one is not pressured by what's happening around them.

How does Don Draper handle situations where he needs to respond under pressure?

Don Draper handles pressure by giving himself time to think, such as taking a full 20 seconds to respond, which helps him to appear calm and collected rather than frantic and out of control.

What does the script suggest about trying to convince other people as a sign of confidence?

The script suggests that a sign of deeper internalized confidence is not trying to convince other people. Instead of badgering clients, Don Draper frames himself as an equal partner in a negotiation, which is more effective.

How does the script describe the deepest layer of confidence?

The deepest layer of confidence, as described in the script, is the belief that no matter what happens, you will be okay. This involves living your life in a way that demonstrates resilience and the ability to handle any situation.

What does the script reveal about Don Draper's character development in the final seasons of Mad Men?

In the final seasons of Mad Men, Don Draper's character development involves telling the truth at great personal cost, confessing his moral failings, and revealing his true emotions, which leads to an authentic connection with others and a deeper level of confidence.

What is the 'Charisma University' program mentioned in the script and how does it relate to the topic of confidence?

The 'Charisma University' program is a six-week course designed to help individuals build both deep confidence and external showing confidence through step-by-step action guides, focusing on both presentation and inner game aspects.

How does the script link Don Draper's confidence to his success in both his personal and professional life?

The script links Don Draper's confidence to his success by illustrating how his external and internal confidence help him navigate various situations, from closing deals to forming relationships, and how his ability to remain non-reactive under pressure contributes to his overall effectiveness.