The coin of the realm: give people what they want

Summary

Dr. Orion terban discusses the parable of 'The Coin of Caesar' from his book 'The Value of Others' to illustrate how men and women can improve relationships by understanding and fulfilling each other's desires, or 'coins'. He explains that men and women have different currencies of value and should pay each other in the currency the other desires, such as affection and attention for women, and physical attraction for men. Terban emphasizes the importance of giving what the other party wants for successful relationships, drawing parallels to the material world's power dynamics.

Takeaways

• 📖 The book 'The Value of Others' by Dr. Orion terban is introduced, which uses parables to explore psychological concepts.
• 🪙 The parable of 'The Coin of Caesar' is discussed, illustrating the idea of giving what is expected in relationships.
• 👫 The concept of 'men's coins' and 'women's coins' is introduced to explain the different desires of men and women in relationships.
• 💸 Men are advised to give women what they want (their 'coin'), and vice versa for women to give men what they want.
• 🚫 The script warns against rationalizing stinginess in relationships, comparing it to refusing to pay taxes.
• 🤝 The importance of reciprocity in relationships is emphasized, suggesting that one should not expect to dictate the terms of exchange.
• 📱 An example of miscommunication in texting is given to illustrate the concept of not paying in the other's 'currency'.
• 👙 The script discusses the idea that men may want physical attraction (like nudes) while women may want emotional connection.
• 💔 The belief of 'overpaying' in a relationship can lead to dissatisfaction and conflict.
• 🌐 The message encourages respecting individual values but also adapting to the 'currency' accepted in the social or relational 'marketplace'.

Q & A

What is the main topic of Dr. Orion terban's talk?

The main topic of Dr. Orion terban's talk is the interpretation of the parable 'The Coin of Caesar' and its application to intersexual dynamics and relationships.

What is the book 'The Value of Others' about?

The book 'The Value of Others' is about Dr. Orion terban's economic model of relationships, explaining the behavior of both men and women in the context of mating and dating, and providing actionable advice on how to get and keep more of what one wants in the sexual marketplace.

What does the parable 'The Coin of Caesar' illustrate?

The parable 'The Coin of Caesar' illustrates the concept of giving what is due or owed, where Jesus tells the Pharisees to 'Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto God what is God's,' suggesting that one should fulfill their obligations to both the state (Caesar) and to their spiritual beliefs (God).

How does Dr. Orion terban relate the parable to intersexual dynamics?

Dr. Orion terban relates the parable to intersexual dynamics by suggesting that men should give women what women want (women's coin) and women should give men what men want (men's coin) to have happy and fulfilling relationships.

What does Dr. Orion terban mean by 'men's coin' and 'women's coin'?

By 'men's coin' and 'women's coin,' Dr. Orion terban refers to the different things that men and women respectively value and desire in a relationship, which they want to be 'paid' or reciprocated in kind.

Why do men send unsolicited explicit pictures to women, according to the talk?

Men send unsolicited explicit pictures because they want to receive explicit pictures from women in return, thinking that what they desire is also valuable currency for women, which is not the case.

What is the common mistake women make when flirting via text, as discussed in the talk?

The common mistake women make when flirting via text is sending mundane updates about their day, thinking that men value these updates as a form of connection and affection, which is not typically what men desire.

What does Dr. Orion terban suggest is the root of most relationship dysfunction?

The root of most relationship dysfunction, according to Dr. Orion terban, is the belief that one is 'overpaying' or giving without receiving what they desire in return.

How does Dr. Orion terban suggest resolving relationship dissatisfaction?

Dr. Orion terban suggests resolving relationship dissatisfaction by giving the other party what they want, aligning one's actions with the desires and expectations of their partner.

What does Dr. Orion terban advise for those who have moral or religious objections to certain behaviors in relationships?

Dr. Orion terban advises that those with moral or religious objections should not have to engage in behaviors that conflict with their beliefs, but they should also not dictate the currency of what the other person is willing to accept.

What is the importance of paying in the 'proper currency' in relationships, as discussed in the talk?

Paying in the 'proper currency' in relationships is important because it ensures that both parties' needs and desires are met, leading to more satisfying and harmonious relationships.