Brutally Honest Advice for Broke People

Summary

The speaker shares a raw and inspiring account of overcoming financial struggles by taking personal responsibility and leveraging one's circumstances, even when they seem bleak. Emphasizing the importance of owning one's faults and using available resources wisely, the speaker details their journey from hardship to success, highlighting the necessity of perseverance, self-accountability, and strategic risk-taking. The narrative serves as a powerful reminder that transformation is possible through sheer determination and a refusal to accept the status quo.

Takeaways

• 💡 Accepting responsibility for one's current situation is the first step towards change - it's not about blame, but recognizing that the power to alter circumstances lies within oneself.
• 🛠️ Utilize the resources you currently have, whether it's time, skills, or a strong will, to begin the journey towards financial stability and success.
• 🚶‍♂️ Start taking small, calculated steps towards your goals. Don't wait for the perfect moment or resources; use what's available to you now.
• 🔄 Recognize that change is a process that builds upon itself. Each small success or learning moment brings you closer to your larger objectives.
• 💰 Financial freedom is not just about accumulating wealth; it's about the ability to avoid pain and discomfort that financial constraints can cause.
• 🔗 Building relationships and networking should be strategic. Surround yourself with people who either have the life you want or are actively working towards it.
• 📈 Invest in yourself by learning new skills and gaining knowledge. This not only increases your value but also opens up new opportunities for income and growth.
• 🚫 Don't be swayed by naysayers or those who don't support your ambitions. Their opinions should hold less weight if they do not contribute to your path to success.
• 🤔 Embrace discomfort as part of the journey. It's through facing and enduring hardship that you develop resilience and the ability to push through towards your goals.
• 🎯 Set clear, achievable goals but be flexible in your approach. The path to success is often non-linear and requires adaptation and persistence.

Q & A

What is the speaker's main message for people struggling financially?

The speaker emphasizes taking personal responsibility for one's financial situation and using whatever resources available, such as time and energy, to improve one's circumstances.

How did the speaker describe their own experience with poverty?

The speaker shared that they had to work multiple jobs, including cleaning and billing, to make ends meet. They also mentioned feeling like they missed out on their 20s due to their financial struggles.

What was the speaker's initial goal that they wrote down 13 years ago?

The speaker's initial goal was to make $10,000 a month in income.

What is the speaker's perspective on the power of positive thinking and affirmations?

The speaker acknowledges that these methods did not work for them personally, and while they do not discourage others from using them, they emphasize finding what works best for the individual.

How did the speaker overcome the challenges of their past?

The speaker overcame their challenges by taking personal responsibility, using their anger and determination to not fail as a driving force, and continually seeking ways to improve and learn new skills.

What does the speaker suggest is the first step to take in changing one's financial situation?

The first step, according to the speaker, is acknowledging that one's current situation is their own fault, which is a crucial step towards taking control and making changes.

Why does the speaker believe that taking responsibility is so important?

Taking responsibility is important because it shifts the power from external circumstances or people to oneself, allowing individuals to take control of their lives and make the necessary changes to improve their situations.

What is the speaker's view on the concept of 'my fault' in personal development?

The speaker views 'my fault' as a foundational concept in personal development because it places the power of change within the individual, enabling them to take action and make improvements in their life.

How does the speaker describe the process of moving from a state of poverty to financial stability?

The speaker describes it as a process of sheer brute force, requiring a huge amount of soul-driving energy, persistence, and the willingness to take on additional pain today to reduce the pain of tomorrow.

What advice does the speaker give to those who feel stuck in their current situation?

The speaker advises acknowledging the current situation as one's own fault, using that realization as a source of motivation to take consistent action, learning new skills, and investing in personal growth.

Outlines

00:00

🤑 Overcoming Financial Struggles Through Accountability

The speaker shares their personal journey from poverty, emphasizing the importance of taking responsibility for one's financial situation. They recount setting a goal to earn $10,000 a month and how they overcame the pain and struggles of their past. The speaker highlights the need to acknowledge one's current circumstances as their own fault and to use available resources wisely. They also discuss the value of learning from self-help books and the power of determination in changing one's life trajectory.

05:02

🔋 The Soul-Driving Energy for Financial Success

The speaker delves into the concept of soul-driving energy, which involves going beyond one's normal life and job to achieve financial success. They describe the necessity of enduring pain today to reduce the suffering of tomorrow. The speaker uses the metaphor of life as a timeline with glass, representing hardships, that one must pull towards themselves to progress. They argue that everyone could eventually succeed given enough time, but many people give up too soon. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of seizing the present to reap future benefits.

10:07

💭 Breaking the Cycle of Blame and Embracing Responsibility

The speaker discusses the common tendency to blame external factors for one's lack of success and the importance of shifting the blame to oneself as the first step towards improvement. They argue that acknowledging personal responsibility empowers individuals to change their circumstances. The speaker shares their own experiences of overcoming blame and using anger as a motivator to succeed. They stress that understanding that one's situation is their own fault is foundational to making progress and building a successful future.

15:07

💰 The Power of Ownership and Financial Autonomy

The speaker emphasizes the significance of owning one's mistakes and the role this plays in personal development and financial growth. They argue that blaming others or external circumstances only gives them power over one's life. The speaker shares a personal story of writing an essay on depression, which led to a better understanding of their mother's struggles and a shift in their relationship. They explain that recognizing one's own power is crucial for success and that taking accountability can lead to a stronger sense of self and greater achievements.

20:08

🛍️ Transforming Pain into Action for a Wealthier Future

The speaker talks about the transformation of pain into action as a means to achieve financial success. They discuss the importance of taking small risks today for long-term gains and the pitfalls of a victim mentality. The speaker shares their experiences of learning from failures and how these experiences accumulate to create opportunities for success. They argue that understanding the value of personal responsibility and the willingness to learn from mistakes are key to financial growth and personal development.

25:10

📈 Financial Goals and the Strategy of Reinvestment

The speaker shares their approach to financial growth, focusing on the strategy of reinvesting income to increase earnings. They explain the concept of viewing money as potential energy and the importance of reinvesting to achieve higher income levels. The speaker also discusses the mindset of spending less than one makes and using excess funds to create more wealth. They argue that even those with limited resources can learn, develop skills, and eventually achieve financial success through smart investment and a commitment to self-improvement.

30:11

💼 The Art of Trading and Skill Acquisition for Success

The speaker discusses the importance of understanding how money is made and the art of trading valuable goods or services. They emphasize that money comes from voluntary exchange and that one must provide something of value to receive money in return. The speaker shares their personal journey of learning, mastering skills, and using those skills to generate income. They argue that the key to success is to focus on skill acquisition and to use those skills to create more value and wealth over time.

35:11

🚀 Leveraging Personal Growth for Financial Success

The speaker talks about the journey from learning a skill to becoming successful in business. They share their personal experiences of starting with small achievements and gradually building up to larger successes. The speaker emphasizes the importance of taking one step at a time and not worrying about the entire path ahead. They also discuss the value of perseverance and the impact of emotions such as anger and shame in driving personal progress. The speaker encourages listeners to use their current emotions and circumstances to take action and move towards their financial goals.

40:11

🧠 The Mental Shift Towards Wealth and Success

The speaker discusses the mental shift required to move from a state of poverty to wealth and success. They emphasize the importance of owning one's current situation, using what one has, and focusing on the next step rather than the entire journey. The speaker also talks about the need to increase self-approval and decrease the influence of others' opinions. They argue that by taking action despite the pain and focusing on personal growth, one can achieve financial success and reach their goals.

Keywords

💡Accountability

Accountability refers to the acceptance of responsibility for one's actions and decisions. In the context of the video, it is a crucial step for individuals looking to improve their financial situation. The speaker emphasizes that acknowledging that one's current state is their own fault allows them to take necessary actions to change it. This concept is used to illustrate the importance of personal responsibility in overcoming adversity.

💡Self-improvement

Self-improvement involves personal development to achieve goals and enhance one's life. The video emphasizes self-improvement as a means to escape poverty and financial struggles. It suggests that by focusing on learning new skills and continuously bettering oneself, individuals can create opportunities for financial growth and success.

💡Financial struggle

Financial struggle refers to the difficulty an individual faces in meeting their monetary needs, often leading to stress and hardship. The video discusses the speaker's own experiences with financial struggle as a driving force for change and improvement. It highlights the reality of living paycheck to paycheck and the emotional toll it can take on a person.

💡Persistence

Persistence is the act of continuing in a course of action despite difficulties or challenges. In the video, persistence is portrayed as a key attribute that helped the speaker overcome financial struggles. It is the determination to keep going, learn from failures, and continue striving for better circumstances.

💡Education

Education in this context refers to the process of learning and acquiring knowledge or skills, particularly those that can lead to financial success. The speaker advocates for continuous education as a means to improve one's situation, emphasizing that it is never too late to learn new skills and apply them to one's advantage.

💡Emotional resilience

Emotional resilience is the ability to adapt and cope in the face of adversity or stress. The video underscores the importance of emotional resilience in overcoming financial challenges. It suggests that individuals must be prepared to handle the emotional toll of their struggles and use it as fuel to push forward.

💡Opportunity cost

Opportunity cost refers to the potential benefits an individual misses out on when choosing one action over another. In the video, the concept is used to illustrate the importance of making decisions that maximize long-term gains, such as investing time and money into learning new skills or starting a business, rather than focusing on immediate comfort or avoiding risk.

💡Financial literacy

Financial literacy is the understanding and knowledge of financial matters, including personal finance management, investment, and the dynamics of the economy. The video emphasizes the importance of financial literacy as a tool for individuals to take control of their financial future and make informed decisions.

💡Risk-taking

Risk-taking involves the willingness to take on potential danger, uncertainty, or endowment in pursuit of a goal or reward. In the video, risk-taking is presented as a necessary component of achieving financial success. It suggests that individuals must be prepared to face the possibility of loss in order to gain greater rewards in the long run.

💡Time investment

Time investment refers to the allocation of time resources towards activities that are expected to yield benefits in the future. The video highlights the importance of investing one's time wisely, particularly in self-education and skill development, as a means to improve one's financial situation.

Highlights

The importance of taking responsibility for one's current situation and acknowledging that it's one's own fault.

The necessity of using what one has at the moment, instead of waiting for ideal circumstances or resources.

The power of self-reflection and recognizing the need for change in order to improve one's life.

The significance of developing resilience and a tough mindset to overcome challenges and obstacles.

The value of learning from past experiences and using them as stepping stones towards success.

The importance of focusing on the present and taking immediate action rather than delaying efforts.

The concept of viewing life as a series of small, manageable steps rather than a daunting, large goal.

The idea of using emotions such as anger or frustration as fuel to drive progress and avoid complacency.

The necessity of re-evaluating and potentially shedding relationships that do not support one's goals.

The concept of trading time for skills, which can then be traded for more resources or money.

The importance of embracing a growth mindset and continuously learning and adapting.

The value of self-reliance and self-approval in the face of external criticism or doubt.

The idea that financial success is not about having a specific feeling or state of mind, but about taking consistent action.

The significance of visualizing and preparing for potential future scenarios to motivate present action.

The concept of using pain as a motivator to push through challenges and achieve long-term goals.

The importance of recognizing that the journey to success often involves a period of loneliness and sacrifice.

Transcripts

this is brutally honest advice for poor

people I've been there I had toing pay

rent every night I would think if I

didn't wake up tomorrow I would be okay

with it and I don't want that for

anybody I get

it I was just going through all these

old files yesterday and I saw a goal

that I had written which was to make

$10,000 a month income and so it was 13

years ago and so like I viscerally

remember what that was like um and I

know I never I was in so much pain

during that during that time that I get

it and so like the reason we make this

stuff is cuz I I've been there and I

don't want that for anybody you know

like I missed I missed my 20s like I

just I didn't have them as people

traditionally say it you know like it's

it's weird because in today's like

internet culture like I started my I

started my first brick and mortar

business like store Front I was 23 like

I I know about like I knew

nothing and like I didn't know you could

hire employees like it wasn't a thought

like I didn't know

anything um and so

like I cleaned I did the billing I did

the sales I taught the sessions like I

fixed the equipment like I did

everything because I didn't know you

could and I also I I didn't know and I

didn't have the money frankly to afford

anything else and so um I get it like

like I get I get I get it

um but to get out of that you have to

take steps and the first step is saying

that it's my fault the second step is

that you have to use what you

have and so in the beginning I would I

would you know I I was reading the self-

health books and all this stuff and um

none of them really hit for me because a

lot of it was like power of positive

thinking and like affirmations and like

all this stuff and the reason I make the

content I do now which has now almost

become like a shtick um countering that

is be is because it didn't work for me

and I'm trying like I'm not trying to

speak to everybody if you if that works

for you then like awesome like awesome

like I people mistake me saying this is

what worked for me with this is what I

think everyone should do and it it

couldn't be further from the truth I'm

saying if what H what you have been

doing hasn't been working then consider

this which is that like I remember

because I just read this yesterday the

intro in the book I say um I wish I

could tell you that the reason I was

able to make it out of the

gym was because I was like really

passionate about changing people's lives

and I loved Fitness and I loved you know

my clients faces when they would light

up and they'd step on the scale and

they'd lose weight they'd be able to fit

in their high school clothes again it

was none of that it was just the sheer

anger that I had but the idea of being

wrong and having the People Back

Home be right about everything and I

just couldn't I couldn't I mean I still

can barely tolerate it and so I mean I

took in some ways and this isn't a uh I

don't if woe is me is the right is the

right term but like I had an otherwise

very successful career like I was in a

white collar job and sometimes it's hard

like I mean hey I don't know I haven't

been in the other situation but taking a

step down and humbling yourself to

minimum wage after you've been in a

white collar situation not easy and I

remember I had clients who walk in and

be like oh did you did you uh did you go

to college and they were saying that um

patronizingly um and mind you everyone

here at least this channel knows that I

don't I don't give a um but they

were saying it to basically like when I

was going to like write something down

like am I

literate and in those moments again it

was like I could be right or be rich

like I could try and humiliate them back

because of the pain of what they just

said made me feel they probably didn't

even

that or I can be like yeah yeah I went

to I went to school I'm very grateful

for it you know like so what are your

goals I could just move right past it

and so you develop that skin because I

had to because I had to pay rent

and so I mean I tell stories about

having a kid drawing marker on the wall

while I'm trying to close his mom and

he's writing in permanent marker and I'm

trying not to lose my over the fact

that I'm have to repaint the wall

because she doesn't know how to parent a

child but I needed to close the card to

pay for the paint and so it's like I can

scold the kid and lose the sail or I can

close the sail and keep my cool and then

eventually clean the clean the wall and

so like you only get that stuff by doing

it um and so if you're in if you're in a

place right now where you don't have a

lot you only have one thing which is

time and so you have lower leverage I'm

not going to lie to you and say that you

like you're there there's this one play

this one secret no it's just it's sheer

Brute Force like you have to Will

yourself out of it like there's you have

to do it's it's like a it's a it's a

huge amount of of Soul driving energy

that you have to do outside of what you

normally do so it's like you have to

live one person's normal life you have

to do your normal work your normal job

you have to eat you have to sleep you

have to clean you have to do whatever

else and then then the workday starts so

that is how you eat today but you're

trying to get ahead and you have to eat

tomorrow and so you have to you have to

you have to eat the glass so that you

can take the pain today and you're

trying to take as much of the pain from

tomorrow as you can today so you can get

ahead and like even the concept of

getting head I like I think about this

visually which is like if you have this

this timeline of life that you can pull

towards you and it's glass in the

beginning and then it's slightly less

less coarse and then less coarse and

then it gets and then it gets neutral

and then it starts to get a little bit

sweeter and a little bit sweeter and a

little bit sweeter but you have to get

through that glass period where you pull

towards you and I do have this theory

that like on a long enough time R and if

we could live A Thousand Years everyone

would eventually be successful but

people wait too long and they die too

early and I say die too early on a long

on a long timeline and so I want I have

to live today and tomorrow and the next

day so I can live three days at a time

so I can get to my second and third

life's benefits now and so that was what

like I remember the only times that I

took off when I was when I was at the

gym and one of the biggest things that I

was grateful for with the gyms is that I

moved across the country and so I knew

no one I was at Huntington Beach I was

from Baltimore like no one and what

would happen so one of the gifts of that

was that once the week was over my

Saturday sessions were done at like noon

my phone didn't ring no like in some

ways very sad because like no one wanted

to see Alex you know what I mean like no

one was inviting me out but I was like

like I got to make this work and so

I would just I'd sit there and be like

how do I sell memberships how do I

Market how do I everything you know but

I but that was how I got ahead and so I

I tell the stories of like I remember

when I when I stopped watching the

Ravens and I was from Baltimore so that

was

like like a tie to

home and so um yeah it's fresh for me

because I just read the story yesterday

but it was like it was

tough

I'll catch my breath so all that to

say the sacrifices that I encourage

people to take are not sacrifices I did

not

make and I I don't say that there

there's there's no ways to to get there

I'm just saying that this is the way I

got

there and if this path works for you

then maybe it works better than what

you're doing right now which is I had a

lot of

pain and so I I tried to use it I just

use what I had I just you know I was

just angry I didn't I didn't want to

fail and so I just kept going and so

there was no like there just wasn't

another option and so I think that's

like that's what I would encourage

people to think about was like they're

just there I just didn't I didn't allow

another option

because the other option was just was

just worse than dying

because I mean I've told this story

before and things get hyperbolized I

mean you know exaggerated romanticized

whatever but like when I had my big

consulting job I was making good money

and I had the approval of my my peers

and all this stuff and I just didn't

want to wake up the next day every day

and it wasn't like I was trying to kill

myself it wasn't that but I was I every

night I would think if I didn't wake up

tomorrow I would be okay with it and

so when I knew that that was what I was

going back to if I didn't make this

work I just had I had no plan B I mean I

had Plan B is that I would drive Uber

and strip I joke about that but that was

very much my plan B if I didn't make it

work um

but and I I I get I get grilled on

social media for saying this because of

like race Wars but like there

have been slaves for thousand thousands

of years there were slaves in Egyptian

times there were Jews who were slaves

there were Persian slaves there were

white slaves there were back slaves

humans have enslaved one another period

And I like to think of things in

extremes because it allows me to think

about what's

possible and so the idea that someone

else at some other time in history has

worked seven days a week every hour that

they're awake with a threat not of their

own death but of their children's death

because that's what I would do if I were

trying to control somebody I would take

their kids and say kill them if you

don't work and guess what they'll

probably work that that capacity exists

and so I would think to myself

like I would try and I would try and put

myself in that frame so that I wouldn't

get into the woe is me cycle and think

all these things I could blame for why

I'm here right now why isn't this

working as fast like how is it that

these guys are making more money than me

like why don't these people give me the

respect I deserve blah BL blah blah blah

blah um and just say like what can I do

now and then just every hour of every

day well what can I do now and so it was

I have to learn how to Market I have to

learn how to sell I have to I have to go

to these these groups that where other

gym owners are and I got to learn their

stuff I gotta I got to go to these

seminars I got to save up so I can learn

some stuff and that's what I did and so

that's how I got out of it that visual

of life as this like bloody game of tug

of war where like most people their

hands just get too cut to keep holding

on to the Rope is like it's in it's

stuck in my head yeah it's that's really

powerful yeah it was

tough so I'm

I'm the first 100 Grand is the hardest

and I know that that sounds like an

unfathomable amount of money it took me

5 years like I get it so

like you just just have to save it $1 at

a time like that's like that's what it

is now obviously I talk about other

things

like there are smarter ways to make

money for sure like if you can sell

expensive stuff you can just move the

decimals like I mean like the thing is

is it is factually true it is

spiritually false and I don't even

believe in spirituality in general but

like it is it is tough to sell a $10

million building and make a million doll

commission or a $500,000 Commission

when you are broke as it is very

like it is like you would have to become

a different person which is why most

people's first sale is not that but is

it technically possible yes a lot of

people watch YouTube and the internet

for complex money-making skills and they

haven't even mastered showing up on time

and so it's like they want to go

straight to calculous but they don't

know how to do simple Edition but the

thing is is like simple Edition is

foundational to that and none of the

other stuff will matter unless you can

do the basics but the basics doesn't

make them less important usually they're

the foundation of building which make

them arguably more important they just

are simpler to understand but not

simpler to do and I think that's the big

disconnect a lot of people have is that

they think they because they understand

something conceptually that they feel

like they have already mastered the

skill which are two very different

things and so one of the most common

traits that people who are poor have is

that it's always tomorrow and so they

never talk about anything in terms of

today and so it's about starting

tomorrow the diet tomorrow the diet on

Monday next year my New Year's

resolution it's always it's always

pushing off so rather than uh delaying

gratification they delay pain and so

rather than trying taking pain now for

pleasure later they take pleasure now

and pain later and so they flip the

equation and so they're surprised when

today is later from yesterday that

they're in pain because because if if

last week you were like I'm starting my

diet this week then it is now this week

and you've delayed the pain to today and

that means that the body you have right

now is the result of the delayed pain

that you are now forcing yourself to

endure and

so they're somehow surprised when the

bill comes due that they pushed off from

the past and so the first lesson of

getting out of poverty is two words it's

my fault it's I have to own that and I

think my fault you can kind of

extrapolate to right now not like you

basically have to own everything that

passed to this moment so all the pain

that I've gone through all of the

Mondays that I've missed all of the

diets that I've skipped all of the

savings I haven't made all of those are

not my dad's fault my mom's fault my

circumstances fault the country I was

born in Fault the ZIP code any of those

things fault it's just mine and the

thing is is that people have this belief

that because they have a strong argument

for why it's something or someone else's

fault that that somehow helps

them and it just doesn't because

whatever you cast blame to is where you

also cast power to and so if I say I

can't succeed because my mom didn't love

me guess who controls me my mom and so

if you also like replace my mom with a

race a gender a political party whatever

the thing like I can't succeed because

of Trump's laws I can't succeed because

of the radical left because of wokeism

because of whatever you actually give

that thing more power in your life than

you give yourself and so it's completely

it the thing is is that and this is

what's so deceiving about it is it's

very it's very um self-fulfilling is

that you get more evidence and you get

more confirmation you get more evidence

you get more confirmation and the more

your life sucks the more you're

confirmed that you were right but like

do you want to be right about the fact

that your life

sucks or would you rather like there's

there's I think it's an old Zig Ziggler

saying he said you can either be right

or you can be rich and I mean it's

simple but this is what he was getting

at is that you can say you know what you

are right your dad kicked the out

of your whole life and you don't have

any confidence because he told you a

piece of every day you're

right but in order to be rich you need

to let that go because every day you say

that I'm not successful because of this

it means because this now owns you and

for me personally that realization that

the thing that I hated most in the world

the things that I blamed for why my life

wasn't the way it was I was their

and just realizing that um made me angry

but through that anger I was able to say

well them like I will succeed

despite the fact that my dad said this

or my mom said this or Barack Obama said

this or Trump said this or the woke left

says what

despite that despite the fact that the

chips are stacked against me I will

still win why does saying my fault and

taking that accountability begin to set

someone down the path of making more

money and so if you think about if we

think about success in terms of layers

like foundations right the the the base

level like when you're digging the

building where you put the hole and you

pour the concrete in the base of the

entire thing is who is in power who is

source

because if it's anything but you in that

base layer all of the other things on

top of them will topple down it's it's a

foundation of sand otherwise you can't

build on top of blaming other people

there's nothing that stands on it you

see like I want to learn sales but I

can't learn sales because I didn't get

hugged enough as a kid and so I don't

like people and so as long as you keep

holding on to that you have sand as your

foundation but if you want to learn how

to sell or you want to learn how to

Market or you to learn how to do

whatever until you say well it's my

fault that I don't know

it and because of that it's within my

power to change it so it's not sales

books it's not it's not reading offers

it's not it's not even your books at the

at the very beginning you have to accept

that which is the first two words my

fault my responsibility all me I am

source and then once you can accept that

one thing and what's crazy is that that

one Foundation is where 90% of people

literally aren't they're not there they

can't do it the reason my girlfriend

left me is because of this not me the

reason I lost my job is cuz my my

employer was a dick my boss sucked

whatever the economy like but like it

never serves you like give me one

instance one example this is to anybody

who's listening to this one example of

when you blame something else and it

made you

better one you can't find it because

it's fundamentally not true and so you

cannot both desire to get better and

also maintain blame you have to pick

when did this really hit home for you

was it when you lost money no when I was

19 years old I had to write an essay

about uh depression in an intro to site

class and I used to I don't talk about

mother my mother very much but I used to

Har a lot I was an equal I was an equal

opportunity angry person I was angry at

everybody uh in other words I blamed

everyone

and so I blamed her for X Y and Z and I

remember having to write this essay on

depression and you had to do it from

someone else's perspective and so you

had to say how would they how would the

environment and their upbringing things

like that contribute

to the outcomes in their life and so by

writing the essay true or not to be

clear about my mother's upbringing and

how heart she had as an immigrant coming

here getting beat up as a kid getting

made up for not being able to speak the

language all that kind of stuff and this

was in the 50s it's when like it

was more accepted to beat up foreigners

rather than let them in anyways um so

she had a tough time and so it made

sense and and when I framed it like that

I was like you know maybe she's actually

a massive success given where she

started and so then I thought to myself

now mind you I still wasn't over it but

it was in this process that the first

thing that happened is when I went back

home for fall break or winter break I

remember she said something to me which

would normally just like be the

beginning of some big fight you know you

get into these routines like I'll say

this thing that we both hate and then

we'll just get in a nice fight about it

and she said the trigger and I was just

like I understand you I'm sorry you went

through the stuff you went through and

she just like looked completely shocked

and then just like started balling and

so I was like we're cool like you don't

anger me anymore and I think for the

most part since then like that's been

more or less the dynamic that

shifted but leading into that was also

the idea that all the

relationships that i' had that i' blamed

for not working because of the dynamic

that I had with my mother I was like I

am giving her this power over my love

life that's gross and so I was like well

I'd rather just say it's on me to change

and not have my mom or parents at all

involved in my relationships and so that

was me taking it's her fault that I

can't make these things work I have

commitment issues I don't want to get

close to people I've been hurt before

blah blah blah to like okay well let's

take it to the ACT extrem great you're

right you'll never be close to anyone

you'll never have a relationship that

I'll last you're right now

what I remember I was out a

conference and I had this lady stand up

in the crowd and I had just done a thing

on like I don't remember what it was

called it offers and she stood up and

said let me give you six reasons why

this isn't going to work for my business

and so she went down her list and I was

like uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh so I got to

the end of the whole thing and um she

said and that's why this isn't going to

work for my business and I was like

you're right you'll never be able to

make this work for your business and she

looked at me like angry and she lashed

back she's like yes I yes I will I'll be

able to make this work for my business

for this reason this reason and so the

thing is is that like if the victim

frame is just taken to the Natural

extreme you realize that you're right

you win the game and by being right the

entire team you lose everything and so

it's one of these frames that I love Dr

cashi says this he says you're 99% right

but 100% wrong and what that means is

like for example if I every time I bring

a girl home and I want my parents

approval I bring her home and they say

this isn't the one this isn't the one

she's not good enough whatever it is

every time it's easy for them to say

that because every single person you

date except for the one you marry they

are right on and so they're 99% of the

time they're right and they're confirmed

by saying that that person that you

bring home is not good enough because

every time eventually you break up oh

it's not going to last this isn't the

one it keeps going right but if you keep

doing that all the way to the Natural

extreme you're 100% wrong because you

will be wrong eventually it's the same

thing as like I want to start this

business it's not going to work it's not

going to work the second one will work

the fifth one won't work the seventh one

work won't work and they're right but

they're just wrong on the long enough

time Rison because one of them will

work and one of the girls or one

of the guys that you bring home will be

the one that you are going to be with

but it's so much safer for them to be

right and right and right and you and

they

get deceived by their short-term

rightness that they miss the long-term

wrong and we do this to oursel too when

you're in the victim frame I don't even

like using the victim frame but when

you're in the powerless frame you give

the power away and you get to be right

over that's why it didn't work this

didn't work this relationship won't work

this job won't work you keep it's not

going to work this time either because

you get to be right over and over again

it makes you feel good in the short term

but in the long term you guarantee the

loss I think there's also like social

reinforcement like we love to complain

about the weather it's literally the

same thing as never investing like if

you want to invest your money right and

you like you have all this big pile of

savings if you ever invest there's

always the possibility that it goes down

in the short term it's just the nature

of markets in general but if you never

invest you guarantee that you will never

get rich over the Long Haul and so every

day you could make this risk you take a

small risk but you guarantee a macro win

so you take a small risk today potential

for loss today for the guarantee over

the long haul that it grows and it makes

you money but the flip side is you don't

take the small risk of loss today you

take the Comfort today for the guarantee

that you get the long loss and so so

many people flip their life to that same

thing is that they have they flip the

pleasure for today and they and they

they just forget the second half of this

which is pain for tomorrow and that

today is also yesterday's tomorrow and

we're living through the pain that you

cast like you own this and until you're

like this is my fault them in pain today

because of decisions that I put off pain

for tomorrow where today is tomorrow

when you're broke every dollar means so

much to

you

but and you want to see the dollars in

your bank account go up but I never made

that my goal I made the amount of money

I made every month my goal because I saw

that as my like potential energy versus

stored energy not to get I mean whatever

physics people you get what I'm saying

and so I was willing to take that stored

energy and reinvested to take $5,000 a

month in income to make it $6,000 a

month cuz I knew that over a year I was

going to make 12 and so if it cost me

two to make the 12 in income I would

make that trade every time and so

whenever I'd save up a small like nut

now obviously I've always been pretty

good at about spending money like I i' I

haven't had that that habit so like

again foundations like first it's your

fault second spend less than you make

third take all of the excess and spend

it on making more because if you're

making minimum wage I'm GNA say what you

probably already know you're not going

to get ahead like you're not going to

save your way there you're not like

everyone loves to tell the story of that

one girl at McDonald's but you know they

don't tell the other hundred million

people who worked at McDonald's over

over the world who didn't make it and

like the outcome they're talking about

is like she made a million over 40 years

at working McDonald's like you can shoot

for more and so like take the money you

make live on nothing and the hard part

is just swallowing the Pride for the

fact that in the short term everyone's

going to be right when they say that

you're amounting to nothing and that's

the tough part that's the glass that you

have to you have to swallow that they

have to pull towards you and there's

just no other way like you have to learn

the skills now I mean to be fair YouTube

didn't exist when when I was doing this

and like Instagram was like a new

platform so like all this stuff like the

stuff we have today is crazy like the

stack that these videos and this podcast

like all the stuff didn't ex like I

remember when podcasting came out out

like I was already a business owner like

none of this stuff existed but at the

time I just took all the money I had and

I I want to I want to make this point

again is that people think that the

money is about buying courses and stuff

like that and you can like there's

nothing wrong with that I've learned a

ton from a lot of the stuff that I've

bought to be really honest with you but

I think that I've always had an amazing

return on education because I always did

it and I think like I always wanted to

be the best student in every class and I

was good at school and I and I I just

took business as a different another

another type of school but part of the

expenses that come into like what you

take that money for is experiments that

fail and so one of the things that

happens when you're broke is that you

bet on stuff and it doesn't work and

people feel like they're back at zero

but you're not back at zero you're at

where you were plus one experience plus

two experiences plus three experiences

plus four experience but when you have

plus 18 experiences all of a sudden Boop

you level up one you get experience

points there's a reason in video games

call experience points so you didn't

trade it for nothing you got an

experience point and with enough

experience points you get to the Next

Level and so I think if you just even

thought about it like that it's not a

loss but at an experience point it could

get it could bridge the gap between your

current income level and the income

level that you want to get to and then

guess what there's more experience point

that you have to get there and those

experience points also cost more money

because when you take a bed in the

beginning and when I say it cost money

it's like if you run an ad and it

doesn't work it costs money if you want

to set up a Shopify store or an

e-commerce store and you spend 30 40 50

bucks a month whatever it costs money um

and it does you know like all of the

these things cost money to start now

mind you it cost a lot less than it did

in the 20s when you had to mortgage your

house and guarantee that you'd win or

you'd lose everything forever um so like

the bar hasn't never been lower than it

is now but there still is a bar and you

have to get over it and I still think

that the vast majority of the that

people trying to get over has nothing to

do with the difficulty of business but

the first step the foundation which is

it is my fault that I am here and in it

being my fault I am the one who can get

me out of it it sounds like in that

stage three when you start experimenting

and investing in that and let's say the

kid who has a failed Drop Shipping

experiment or starts a school group and

they want to win the school games but

they don't they measuring stick for

whether or not they're doing well

shouldn't be how much money they're

making or should it like should they be

thinking about money at that point

or so the wealthiest people I

know only think about skills they think

about what can I learn and then what can

this skill get me and so they will

always take any money they can to buy

more more

skills and in the beginning you have to

buy all the skills yourself once you

have enough skills that you can generate

an excess of income you can start buying

other people's lives and what I mean by

that is like everything comes down to

buying time and so at some point you're

10 years into your career and you have a

handful of skills but you can buy

someone else's 10 years of skills by

just paying them to do something too so

you don't have to learn all those things

and so you do need to get good at stuff

and then eventually you generalize to

being good at people and that's pretty

much always the path for everyone maybe

the framing is like a lot of people who

are wanting to make more money just

don't know what the Avenues are yeah so

a lot of people who want to make money

don't understand how money is made and

so it's made by getting it from someone

else and they have to give it to you

voluntarily or it's theft and so

assuming you don't want to steal then

you have to give something to someone

else first and then by doing that they

give you money in exchange which is why

I love capitalism it's voluntary

exchange between two parties and both

parties say thank you at the end because

both parties think they're better off

from the trade and so the idea is what

you want to be able to do is find

something valuable to trade and so you

can either trade stuff you can find a

place where you can get stuff and then

bring it to other people where it's

convenient for them so they pay you more

than you did when you had to go find it

at some back alley cuz you know Suburban

mom doesn't want to go into back alley

to get X Y and Z but you'll give it to

man it sounds like I'm explaining drugs

but well there's a reason they make

money but anyways point is is that you

can sell stuff at a at a margin and a

part of that margin is going to be the

convenience that you deliver them and

either you're selling stuff to someone

else manufactures you create your own

stuff now if you're starting out you're

probably going to sell someone else's

stuff and I do think and I I mean I'm

saying this right

now I do love the concept that the first

thing you sell is not the last thing

you're going to sell and so learning to

sell in and of itself the best way to

learn to sell is sell something and

that's why uh referral referral uh

programs Ambassador programs affiliate

programs for different types of

businesses almost every business I've

ever owned has an affiliate program um

it's great to enroll in those I'm not

even going to say any of the names of

the companies that that we have because

I want you like it's not about that I

want you to if you can just because then

you you only have to figure out one

skill like if I just sell someone if I

just promote I get paid cool and I can

do that over and over again now over

time you're like man I want to make more

of the nut cool then you just you eat up

more of the

responsibility so you can either sell

stuff or you can sell skills you can SK

sell outcomes and so that's where you

develop a certain expertise so like in

the beginning for me and like the first

time this ever like the first money I

ever made from a stranger was that I had

a lady at the gym it's a real story I

was in really good shape I like to think

so and she said will you meet me uh and

do a nutrition consultation for me and

she didn't even say that she said will

you help me with my food I think is what

she said and I said sure um and so we

met at a at a pizza place ironically

college no this was after college this

is after graduate from college um when I

was still consultant so I I went we met

at a Pete's Place and I was like okay

well what are you currently eating and

she was like this and I was like well

what do you want to do she's like I'm

trying to lose weight and I was like

well this is something I eat for

breakfast that's less calories than your

thing it's pretty good and try this and

try this and try this and it took like

an hour and then um I had like a notepad

and I gave her the notes or whatever and

she took out her purse and she wrote

$200 on a check and she handed it to me

she was like thanks so much and I was

like looked I was just like looking at

the check looking at her looking at the

check looking at her and I was like okay

don't act surprised and I was like uh

thanks and then she left and I was like

holy I was like I just got paid for

but like realistically I'd been in at

this point I was competing so I'm

winning I'm like I had a state record at

that point I was in I was in shape you

know what I mean um and I think she knew

I was a state record holder cuz the gym

that I was was powerlifting gym um but I

had done some stuff I had gotten some

level of authority on some tiny thing

and people were like oh can you help me

with that too and to be really honest

with you my entire life and I'm saying

like there's many paths but like my life

has been learn something get good at it

have evidence that you were good at the

thing and then people ask you for help

on that thing and so in the beginning

people asked me how to get in shape and

then I started a business around getting

people in shape and then people who had

businesses around getting people in

shape asked me how I was getting my

businesses that were getting people in

shape to work and then people who had

businesses that were national scale that

helped people in a specific Niche or

industry started asking me how I was

helping people in a specific nich

industry and then people who had really

big businesses just started asking me

how did you get a really big business

and so like my entire life's been simply

doing as hard as I could to get

good at something and then do it enough

times and to be really like very clear

with you every time I did it it was not

to move on to the next step it was to

just get good at the thing and then by

getting good at the thing people asked

me about it and so it wasn't like I lost

10 pounds and then tried to start

selling you know weight loss advice I

had multiple State records and I

like I looked good you know what I mean

like I was in very good shape and then

people started asking me about it and

then I didn't have one gym and start

telling people hey here's how you run a

gy I had six gyms by the time I was 26

and and then people were like okay

you're 26 and you have six gyms and you

did all cash flow like you're doing

something right and then people started

asking me about the stuff and then and

then when I had the licensing business

doing 4 million a month people who had

other bigger businesses were doing a

million a month or 500,000 a month like

how do you get to 4 million a month and

I was like well this is what I did and

so like I've just tried to figure it out

and it's it's like the path has always

been revealed as I took more steps and

so I think a big fallacy in the early on

days is trying to think that you're

going to figure out the entire path

before you even take the First Step it's

just not true I was going to ask how

important is it for someone to have that

moment with the check where they just

make their first I mean in some ways I

think it's everything in other ways it's

nothing like one of the cool um

Shameless plug for school the

um 3.44% of people who finished their

first month of school make their first

dollar online and that's like so

like like that's why we do it you know

what I mean like I know how hard that

first dollar is like there's there's so

much to get the first dollar across the

because the second dollar comes so much

faster after that um that I mean that's

why that's why I invest in the company

that's why I'm so adamant about it but

um anyways the the point is is that yes

I think having the first dollar get

across is very important but if you can

reframe it from that experience points

perspective that there's there's there's

probably three levels before that you

have to like level one is that you have

to understand that it's my fault level

two is that you have to use what you

have not what you wish you had to get to

where you want to go and where you want

to go isn't 100 steps forward it's just

the next step and so like I don't think

that anger drives me as much as it used

to but it was everything that I had when

I started and so if I had listen to the

positivity Mantra when I started I never

would have gotten going because nothing

made me feel happy and so they were like

follow your passion and I was like my

passion is to not be poor and to not be

here in Baltimore that's my passion is

not be here and so that's what drove me

and so I think that it just needs to be

restated that

like is that the goal sure but is that

necessary to start no it's not and so I

can tell you that even when I was angry

um and getting through that making more

money did make my life better like I had

more ability to deal with inconveniences

hassles health issues from family

members that I had to putot the bill for

like all these things like money can

provide value and so um I'll say this

thing that a mentor told me he said

money does not buy happiness but it can

help you avoid

pain and so like I think that there's

nothing wrong with getting with making

money obviously I like doing it um but I

just

hate the people who espouse that you

have to feel a certain way to win or

that or that winning when you are angry

or sad or in pain or shame

is somehow wrong and so I just like you

have to meet success where you're at and

the first step you have to take out of

anger and the next step you have to take

out of sadness and the next one you have

to take out of Shame and use that to to

propel yourself forward all that matters

you take the

step and one of the things that I always

like is for a very long time I didn't

consider myself a good person I mean I

still probably don't but um in terms of

like I I always identified with the

villain um and the oppressor in most

scenarios which is bad but anyways but I

there's a point to this is that I never

thought that I

deserved the good life I never thought I

didn't think I deserve the happy ending

I put it that way and

so the thing that got me through that

was the idea and this felt like honestly

like gaming the system so like from the

evil side was that I could still get the

good guys ending if I just did the thing

that they do to get the ending so I

didn't have to do it with pure

intentions I didn't have to do it as a

great guy but if I just still did the

things I could still get the getting and

I think for me that that realization has

been why my ruthless focus on like what

did you do and to everyone who listens

to my stuff like it's like great throw

the emotions out throw the spiritual

energy vibrations out what do you

do patience is just figuring out what to

do do in the meantime like courage is

acting as though you weren't afraid like

like what do you do and then eliminating

everything else and then just doing that

and then doing whatever mental tricks

you have to do which is like there were

slaves who work seven days a week so can

I like and then

alternatively

catastrophizing the alternative path

which is that if I do not do

anything this is what will happen

eventually that pain in the future will

be my pain today and then actively

thinking about what that pain would be

like and then seeing if that can make

you more uncomfortable than the comfort

that you're in and I think I I think

Tony Robin says this he says change

happens when the pain of staying the

same sorry when the pain of change is

less than the pain of staying the same

and so if you're comfortable and staying

the same the point is to make yourself

more in pain to get yourself to move and

so I think there's a skill in being able

to Future pace and think through what

pain you're going to go through like if

you're like man okay I have gained 5 lb

a year and it has been 4 years so I'm 20

lb up well if 4 years from now I'm

another 20 lbs heavier and Imagining the

snide comments at the Holiday party or

the if you're a girl the guy who says

man she'd be really cute if she lost 40

PBS or like even like I'm going girls

perspective here a guy who says

something that's like

um I would be with her but she's just

she's just too fast

she's just not cute enough and you're

like wow that's so Politically Incorrect

deal with it it's

life but the thing is is like your

thoughts don't need to be politically

correct they're your thoughts they're no

one else's thoughts and so whatever you

have to do to get yourself there and for

me the idea that a girl that I would

want to be with would be like I just

don't think he's ambitious enough I

don't think he's successful enough like

that those ideas killed me and so I

never wanted to be denied entry to

somewhere because I didn't have these

things now do I believe that people

should be denying entry no but I also

realize that's the way the world is and

so you I think you can balance both

beliefs like I'd love things to be

different but I accept the fact that

they're not does this feel like a good

argument for getting rid of other broke

friends because I bet other broke

friends reduce the pain of staying the

same a friend who supports you is

someone who

deliberately decreases the possibility

of

failure and so if you look at your

friends and you ask yourself does this

person increase or decrease the

possibility of failure with my goal it's

very easy to answer that question it's

yes or no it's increase or decrease

there's no in between do they increase

or they decrease my possibility that I

get to my goal if the answer is

decrease and get rid of them because

imagine that you have 100% chance of

hitting your goal and you have three

friends that have a 30% decrease like

you might now have a have a you

know whatever third time three is

whatever you have 27% chance of hitting

your goal now because you have three

terrible friends like negative

experience yeah yeah they're they're

they're it's like getting in video games

it's like you've got somebody who's

casting like a slow spell on you and

you're like moving so slow and you're

like weak and like all your all your

hits have like half power like a lot of

people need to

shed friendships but the thing is it's

more that they call them friends but

they're not really friends they're just

there and they're there because they've

always been there but not because they

should be there but because they're

going to help you get to where you want

to go they just they're just there they

exist they're not going anywhere they

don't have goals and they're at a

different part of their Journey there's

nothing wrong with that but if you're

going to start the path of of of

drinking glass and starting to to to

double time you got to live your life

and you got to live tomorrow's life and

the next day's life and start dragging

that towards you they're going

to they're going to be upset about it

and so one of the say I recently have

that I like a lot which is there are no

social obligations only social

consequences and the people who want to

deliver those consequences often do it

by talking to you less and by avoiding

you more they try to spend less time

with you and talk to you less to punish

you for the fact that you missed the

party you missed the going out you

didn't show up to their wedding you

didn't show up to their dogs christening

or

whatever but the crazy thing is is that

if you felt obligated to go then it

means you didn't want to go and if mean

that means that if you didn't want to go

and the punishment of not going is that

you don't have to go more in the future

because they avoid you and they don't

invite you anymore then to me that's a

win-win you save time today and you save

time tomorrow and I don't understand why

people are not willing to deal with that

like just looking at what happens rather

than whatever emotional noise they make

with their face at you like moving past

that great you expelled Air at me

understood got it but the outcome is you

will no longer invite me which is what I

want great I feel like we won here and

so thinking second and third order

outcomes from what happens when I quote

break up with this friend or what

happens when I offend this friend a lot

of times it's you closer to your

goal and I've always been okay with that

and like if someone if someone

like the moment I have seen somebody as

decreased in the likely that I hit my

goal I am happy to tell them that like I

think I think you are not good for me I

don't think you help me hit what I want

to hit and they' be like well then

they'll try and downgrade your goals and

say you shouldn't believe this way and

then they'll cast their beliefs on you

and for me it's like that's amazing that

you believe that I don't believe that

and I don't really want to believe what

you believe because then I would have

your life and I certainly don't want

that and so like again I I you I I make

these tweets about this but it's like if

you don't like their life don't listen

to what they say like don't take their

advice if you don't like what you see

and so if everyone around you has a life

you don't want then don't listen to any

of their advice like again hopefully

you're listening to this and you're

watching if there's some element of my

life or whatever that you find awesome

cool then maybe some element of what I

can share is helpful for you um but you

have to put blinders on because there is

a period of time where you and I mean

I've said this but you're not going to

be successful enough for the next tier

of friends but you're too different from

the friends that you used to have and so

that middle path is very lonely but the

good thing about loneliness is you've

got time and right now time's what you

need because you got to learn stuff you

got to get the skills so you can start

trading that for more and more money and

then you can take the money and trade

that for more money but in the beginning

you just have time and that's what you

have to spend and so if you are broke or

you are poor and wish to no longer be

broken

poor the first is owning the fact that

everything that has to do with your life

is your

fault and a lot of people will reject

that and you're right stay poor you're

totally right you'll never be successful

you're totally right I believe

you the next next step is being willing

to use what you have rather than what

you think you should have or what you

wish you had the circumstances the

connections the money whatever the

passion the purpose the meaning behind

the work you can wish for all that stuff

but you don't have it so you have to use

what you have which could be anger could

be shame could be pain

whatever and

then as soon as you start taking action

everyone around you will collapse and

try to pull you down and so the only way

to protect yourself against that is to

increase your own approval of self and

decrease how much their opinion of you

matters which means that you have to be

you have to be proud of you for taking

the

step and actively look at their lives

and think do I want what they have if

the answer is no then do not listen to

what they

say

and then when you do that you keep

walking you keep taking

steps no matter how painful it is then

you never

stop and if you do that you will get

there so cool