Brutally Honest Advice for Broke People
Summary
TLDRThe speaker shares a raw and inspiring account of overcoming financial struggles by taking personal responsibility and leveraging one's circumstances, even when they seem bleak. Emphasizing the importance of owning one's faults and using available resources wisely, the speaker details their journey from hardship to success, highlighting the necessity of perseverance, self-accountability, and strategic risk-taking. The narrative serves as a powerful reminder that transformation is possible through sheer determination and a refusal to accept the status quo.
Takeaways
- ๐ก Accepting responsibility for one's current situation is the first step towards change - it's not about blame, but recognizing that the power to alter circumstances lies within oneself.
- ๐ ๏ธ Utilize the resources you currently have, whether it's time, skills, or a strong will, to begin the journey towards financial stability and success.
- ๐ถโโ๏ธ Start taking small, calculated steps towards your goals. Don't wait for the perfect moment or resources; use what's available to you now.
- ๐ Recognize that change is a process that builds upon itself. Each small success or learning moment brings you closer to your larger objectives.
- ๐ฐ Financial freedom is not just about accumulating wealth; it's about the ability to avoid pain and discomfort that financial constraints can cause.
- ๐ Building relationships and networking should be strategic. Surround yourself with people who either have the life you want or are actively working towards it.
- ๐ Invest in yourself by learning new skills and gaining knowledge. This not only increases your value but also opens up new opportunities for income and growth.
- ๐ซ Don't be swayed by naysayers or those who don't support your ambitions. Their opinions should hold less weight if they do not contribute to your path to success.
- ๐ค Embrace discomfort as part of the journey. It's through facing and enduring hardship that you develop resilience and the ability to push through towards your goals.
- ๐ฏ Set clear, achievable goals but be flexible in your approach. The path to success is often non-linear and requires adaptation and persistence.
Q & A
What is the speaker's main message for people struggling financially?
-The speaker emphasizes taking personal responsibility for one's financial situation and using whatever resources available, such as time and energy, to improve one's circumstances.
How did the speaker describe their own experience with poverty?
-The speaker shared that they had to work multiple jobs, including cleaning and billing, to make ends meet. They also mentioned feeling like they missed out on their 20s due to their financial struggles.
What was the speaker's initial goal that they wrote down 13 years ago?
-The speaker's initial goal was to make $10,000 a month in income.
What is the speaker's perspective on the power of positive thinking and affirmations?
-The speaker acknowledges that these methods did not work for them personally, and while they do not discourage others from using them, they emphasize finding what works best for the individual.
How did the speaker overcome the challenges of their past?
-The speaker overcame their challenges by taking personal responsibility, using their anger and determination to not fail as a driving force, and continually seeking ways to improve and learn new skills.
What does the speaker suggest is the first step to take in changing one's financial situation?
-The first step, according to the speaker, is acknowledging that one's current situation is their own fault, which is a crucial step towards taking control and making changes.
Why does the speaker believe that taking responsibility is so important?
-Taking responsibility is important because it shifts the power from external circumstances or people to oneself, allowing individuals to take control of their lives and make the necessary changes to improve their situations.
What is the speaker's view on the concept of 'my fault' in personal development?
-The speaker views 'my fault' as a foundational concept in personal development because it places the power of change within the individual, enabling them to take action and make improvements in their life.
How does the speaker describe the process of moving from a state of poverty to financial stability?
-The speaker describes it as a process of sheer brute force, requiring a huge amount of soul-driving energy, persistence, and the willingness to take on additional pain today to reduce the pain of tomorrow.
What advice does the speaker give to those who feel stuck in their current situation?
-The speaker advises acknowledging the current situation as one's own fault, using that realization as a source of motivation to take consistent action, learning new skills, and investing in personal growth.
Outlines
๐ค Overcoming Financial Struggles Through Accountability
The speaker shares their personal journey from poverty, emphasizing the importance of taking responsibility for one's financial situation. They recount setting a goal to earn $10,000 a month and how they overcame the pain and struggles of their past. The speaker highlights the need to acknowledge one's current circumstances as their own fault and to use available resources wisely. They also discuss the value of learning from self-help books and the power of determination in changing one's life trajectory.
๐ The Soul-Driving Energy for Financial Success
The speaker delves into the concept of soul-driving energy, which involves going beyond one's normal life and job to achieve financial success. They describe the necessity of enduring pain today to reduce the suffering of tomorrow. The speaker uses the metaphor of life as a timeline with glass, representing hardships, that one must pull towards themselves to progress. They argue that everyone could eventually succeed given enough time, but many people give up too soon. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of seizing the present to reap future benefits.
๐ญ Breaking the Cycle of Blame and Embracing Responsibility
The speaker discusses the common tendency to blame external factors for one's lack of success and the importance of shifting the blame to oneself as the first step towards improvement. They argue that acknowledging personal responsibility empowers individuals to change their circumstances. The speaker shares their own experiences of overcoming blame and using anger as a motivator to succeed. They stress that understanding that one's situation is their own fault is foundational to making progress and building a successful future.
๐ฐ The Power of Ownership and Financial Autonomy
The speaker emphasizes the significance of owning one's mistakes and the role this plays in personal development and financial growth. They argue that blaming others or external circumstances only gives them power over one's life. The speaker shares a personal story of writing an essay on depression, which led to a better understanding of their mother's struggles and a shift in their relationship. They explain that recognizing one's own power is crucial for success and that taking accountability can lead to a stronger sense of self and greater achievements.
๐๏ธ Transforming Pain into Action for a Wealthier Future
The speaker talks about the transformation of pain into action as a means to achieve financial success. They discuss the importance of taking small risks today for long-term gains and the pitfalls of a victim mentality. The speaker shares their experiences of learning from failures and how these experiences accumulate to create opportunities for success. They argue that understanding the value of personal responsibility and the willingness to learn from mistakes are key to financial growth and personal development.
๐ Financial Goals and the Strategy of Reinvestment
The speaker shares their approach to financial growth, focusing on the strategy of reinvesting income to increase earnings. They explain the concept of viewing money as potential energy and the importance of reinvesting to achieve higher income levels. The speaker also discusses the mindset of spending less than one makes and using excess funds to create more wealth. They argue that even those with limited resources can learn, develop skills, and eventually achieve financial success through smart investment and a commitment to self-improvement.
๐ผ The Art of Trading and Skill Acquisition for Success
The speaker discusses the importance of understanding how money is made and the art of trading valuable goods or services. They emphasize that money comes from voluntary exchange and that one must provide something of value to receive money in return. The speaker shares their personal journey of learning, mastering skills, and using those skills to generate income. They argue that the key to success is to focus on skill acquisition and to use those skills to create more value and wealth over time.
๐ Leveraging Personal Growth for Financial Success
The speaker talks about the journey from learning a skill to becoming successful in business. They share their personal experiences of starting with small achievements and gradually building up to larger successes. The speaker emphasizes the importance of taking one step at a time and not worrying about the entire path ahead. They also discuss the value of perseverance and the impact of emotions such as anger and shame in driving personal progress. The speaker encourages listeners to use their current emotions and circumstances to take action and move towards their financial goals.
๐ง The Mental Shift Towards Wealth and Success
The speaker discusses the mental shift required to move from a state of poverty to wealth and success. They emphasize the importance of owning one's current situation, using what one has, and focusing on the next step rather than the entire journey. The speaker also talks about the need to increase self-approval and decrease the influence of others' opinions. They argue that by taking action despite the pain and focusing on personal growth, one can achieve financial success and reach their goals.
Mindmap
Keywords
๐กAccountability
๐กSelf-improvement
๐กFinancial struggle
๐กPersistence
๐กEducation
๐กEmotional resilience
๐กOpportunity cost
๐กFinancial literacy
๐กRisk-taking
๐กTime investment
Highlights
The importance of taking responsibility for one's current situation and acknowledging that it's one's own fault.
The necessity of using what one has at the moment, instead of waiting for ideal circumstances or resources.
The power of self-reflection and recognizing the need for change in order to improve one's life.
The significance of developing resilience and a tough mindset to overcome challenges and obstacles.
The value of learning from past experiences and using them as stepping stones towards success.
The importance of focusing on the present and taking immediate action rather than delaying efforts.
The concept of viewing life as a series of small, manageable steps rather than a daunting, large goal.
The idea of using emotions such as anger or frustration as fuel to drive progress and avoid complacency.
The necessity of re-evaluating and potentially shedding relationships that do not support one's goals.
The concept of trading time for skills, which can then be traded for more resources or money.
The importance of embracing a growth mindset and continuously learning and adapting.
The value of self-reliance and self-approval in the face of external criticism or doubt.
The idea that financial success is not about having a specific feeling or state of mind, but about taking consistent action.
The significance of visualizing and preparing for potential future scenarios to motivate present action.
The concept of using pain as a motivator to push through challenges and achieve long-term goals.
The importance of recognizing that the journey to success often involves a period of loneliness and sacrifice.
Transcripts
this is brutally honest advice for poor
people I've been there I had toing pay
rent every night I would think if I
didn't wake up tomorrow I would be okay
with it and I don't want that for
anybody I get
it I was just going through all these
old files yesterday and I saw a goal
that I had written which was to make
$10,000 a month income and so it was 13
years ago and so like I viscerally
remember what that was like um and I
know I never I was in so much pain
during that during that time that I get
it and so like the reason we make this
stuff is cuz I I've been there and I
don't want that for anybody you know
like I missed I missed my 20s like I
just I didn't have them as people
traditionally say it you know like it's
it's weird because in today's like
internet culture like I started my I
started my first brick and mortar
business like store Front I was 23 like
I I know about like I knew
nothing and like I didn't know you could
hire employees like it wasn't a thought
like I didn't know
anything um and so
like I cleaned I did the billing I did
the sales I taught the sessions like I
fixed the equipment like I did
everything because I didn't know you
could and I also I I didn't know and I
didn't have the money frankly to afford
anything else and so um I get it like
like I get I get I get it
um but to get out of that you have to
take steps and the first step is saying
that it's my fault the second step is
that you have to use what you
have and so in the beginning I would I
would you know I I was reading the self-
health books and all this stuff and um
none of them really hit for me because a
lot of it was like power of positive
thinking and like affirmations and like
all this stuff and the reason I make the
content I do now which has now almost
become like a shtick um countering that
is be is because it didn't work for me
and I'm trying like I'm not trying to
speak to everybody if you if that works
for you then like awesome like awesome
like I people mistake me saying this is
what worked for me with this is what I
think everyone should do and it it
couldn't be further from the truth I'm
saying if what H what you have been
doing hasn't been working then consider
this which is that like I remember
because I just read this yesterday the
intro in the book I say um I wish I
could tell you that the reason I was
able to make it out of the
gym was because I was like really
passionate about changing people's lives
and I loved Fitness and I loved you know
my clients faces when they would light
up and they'd step on the scale and
they'd lose weight they'd be able to fit
in their high school clothes again it
was none of that it was just the sheer
anger that I had but the idea of being
wrong and having the People Back
Home be right about everything and I
just couldn't I couldn't I mean I still
can barely tolerate it and so I mean I
took in some ways and this isn't a uh I
don't if woe is me is the right is the
right term but like I had an otherwise
very successful career like I was in a
white collar job and sometimes it's hard
like I mean hey I don't know I haven't
been in the other situation but taking a
step down and humbling yourself to
minimum wage after you've been in a
white collar situation not easy and I
remember I had clients who walk in and
be like oh did you did you uh did you go
to college and they were saying that um
patronizingly um and mind you everyone
here at least this channel knows that I
don't I don't give a um but they
were saying it to basically like when I
was going to like write something down
like am I
literate and in those moments again it
was like I could be right or be rich
like I could try and humiliate them back
because of the pain of what they just
said made me feel they probably didn't
even
that or I can be like yeah yeah I went
to I went to school I'm very grateful
for it you know like so what are your
goals I could just move right past it
and so you develop that skin because I
had to because I had to pay rent
and so I mean I tell stories about
having a kid drawing marker on the wall
while I'm trying to close his mom and
he's writing in permanent marker and I'm
trying not to lose my over the fact
that I'm have to repaint the wall
because she doesn't know how to parent a
child but I needed to close the card to
pay for the paint and so it's like I can
scold the kid and lose the sail or I can
close the sail and keep my cool and then
eventually clean the clean the wall and
so like you only get that stuff by doing
it um and so if you're in if you're in a
place right now where you don't have a
lot you only have one thing which is
time and so you have lower leverage I'm
not going to lie to you and say that you
like you're there there's this one play
this one secret no it's just it's sheer
Brute Force like you have to Will
yourself out of it like there's you have
to do it's it's like a it's a it's a
huge amount of of Soul driving energy
that you have to do outside of what you
normally do so it's like you have to
live one person's normal life you have
to do your normal work your normal job
you have to eat you have to sleep you
have to clean you have to do whatever
else and then then the workday starts so
that is how you eat today but you're
trying to get ahead and you have to eat
tomorrow and so you have to you have to
you have to eat the glass so that you
can take the pain today and you're
trying to take as much of the pain from
tomorrow as you can today so you can get
ahead and like even the concept of
getting head I like I think about this
visually which is like if you have this
this timeline of life that you can pull
towards you and it's glass in the
beginning and then it's slightly less
less coarse and then less coarse and
then it gets and then it gets neutral
and then it starts to get a little bit
sweeter and a little bit sweeter and a
little bit sweeter but you have to get
through that glass period where you pull
towards you and I do have this theory
that like on a long enough time R and if
we could live A Thousand Years everyone
would eventually be successful but
people wait too long and they die too
early and I say die too early on a long
on a long timeline and so I want I have
to live today and tomorrow and the next
day so I can live three days at a time
so I can get to my second and third
life's benefits now and so that was what
like I remember the only times that I
took off when I was when I was at the
gym and one of the biggest things that I
was grateful for with the gyms is that I
moved across the country and so I knew
no one I was at Huntington Beach I was
from Baltimore like no one and what
would happen so one of the gifts of that
was that once the week was over my
Saturday sessions were done at like noon
my phone didn't ring no like in some
ways very sad because like no one wanted
to see Alex you know what I mean like no
one was inviting me out but I was like
like I got to make this work and so
I would just I'd sit there and be like
how do I sell memberships how do I
Market how do I everything you know but
I but that was how I got ahead and so I
I tell the stories of like I remember
when I when I stopped watching the
Ravens and I was from Baltimore so that
was
like like a tie to
home and so um yeah it's fresh for me
because I just read the story yesterday
but it was like it was
tough
I'll catch my breath so all that to
say the sacrifices that I encourage
people to take are not sacrifices I did
not
make and I I don't say that there
there's there's no ways to to get there
I'm just saying that this is the way I
got
there and if this path works for you
then maybe it works better than what
you're doing right now which is I had a
lot of
pain and so I I tried to use it I just
use what I had I just you know I was
just angry I didn't I didn't want to
fail and so I just kept going and so
there was no like there just wasn't
another option and so I think that's
like that's what I would encourage
people to think about was like they're
just there I just didn't I didn't allow
another option
because the other option was just was
just worse than dying
because I mean I've told this story
before and things get hyperbolized I
mean you know exaggerated romanticized
whatever but like when I had my big
consulting job I was making good money
and I had the approval of my my peers
and all this stuff and I just didn't
want to wake up the next day every day
and it wasn't like I was trying to kill
myself it wasn't that but I was I every
night I would think if I didn't wake up
tomorrow I would be okay with it and
so when I knew that that was what I was
going back to if I didn't make this
work I just had I had no plan B I mean I
had Plan B is that I would drive Uber
and strip I joke about that but that was
very much my plan B if I didn't make it
work um
but and I I I get I get grilled on
social media for saying this because of
like race Wars but like there
have been slaves for thousand thousands
of years there were slaves in Egyptian
times there were Jews who were slaves
there were Persian slaves there were
white slaves there were back slaves
humans have enslaved one another period
And I like to think of things in
extremes because it allows me to think
about what's
possible and so the idea that someone
else at some other time in history has
worked seven days a week every hour that
they're awake with a threat not of their
own death but of their children's death
because that's what I would do if I were
trying to control somebody I would take
their kids and say kill them if you
don't work and guess what they'll
probably work that that capacity exists
and so I would think to myself
like I would try and I would try and put
myself in that frame so that I wouldn't
get into the woe is me cycle and think
all these things I could blame for why
I'm here right now why isn't this
working as fast like how is it that
these guys are making more money than me
like why don't these people give me the
respect I deserve blah BL blah blah blah
blah um and just say like what can I do
now and then just every hour of every
day well what can I do now and so it was
I have to learn how to Market I have to
learn how to sell I have to I have to go
to these these groups that where other
gym owners are and I got to learn their
stuff I gotta I got to go to these
seminars I got to save up so I can learn
some stuff and that's what I did and so
that's how I got out of it that visual
of life as this like bloody game of tug
of war where like most people their
hands just get too cut to keep holding
on to the Rope is like it's in it's
stuck in my head yeah it's that's really
powerful yeah it was
tough so I'm
I'm the first 100 Grand is the hardest
and I know that that sounds like an
unfathomable amount of money it took me
5 years like I get it so
like you just just have to save it $1 at
a time like that's like that's what it
is now obviously I talk about other
things
like there are smarter ways to make
money for sure like if you can sell
expensive stuff you can just move the
decimals like I mean like the thing is
is it is factually true it is
spiritually false and I don't even
believe in spirituality in general but
like it is it is tough to sell a $10
million building and make a million doll
commission or a $500,000 Commission
when you are broke as it is very
like it is like you would have to become
a different person which is why most
people's first sale is not that but is
it technically possible yes a lot of
people watch YouTube and the internet
for complex money-making skills and they
haven't even mastered showing up on time
and so it's like they want to go
straight to calculous but they don't
know how to do simple Edition but the
thing is is like simple Edition is
foundational to that and none of the
other stuff will matter unless you can
do the basics but the basics doesn't
make them less important usually they're
the foundation of building which make
them arguably more important they just
are simpler to understand but not
simpler to do and I think that's the big
disconnect a lot of people have is that
they think they because they understand
something conceptually that they feel
like they have already mastered the
skill which are two very different
things and so one of the most common
traits that people who are poor have is
that it's always tomorrow and so they
never talk about anything in terms of
today and so it's about starting
tomorrow the diet tomorrow the diet on
Monday next year my New Year's
resolution it's always it's always
pushing off so rather than uh delaying
gratification they delay pain and so
rather than trying taking pain now for
pleasure later they take pleasure now
and pain later and so they flip the
equation and so they're surprised when
today is later from yesterday that
they're in pain because because if if
last week you were like I'm starting my
diet this week then it is now this week
and you've delayed the pain to today and
that means that the body you have right
now is the result of the delayed pain
that you are now forcing yourself to
endure and
so they're somehow surprised when the
bill comes due that they pushed off from
the past and so the first lesson of
getting out of poverty is two words it's
my fault it's I have to own that and I
think my fault you can kind of
extrapolate to right now not like you
basically have to own everything that
passed to this moment so all the pain
that I've gone through all of the
Mondays that I've missed all of the
diets that I've skipped all of the
savings I haven't made all of those are
not my dad's fault my mom's fault my
circumstances fault the country I was
born in Fault the ZIP code any of those
things fault it's just mine and the
thing is is that people have this belief
that because they have a strong argument
for why it's something or someone else's
fault that that somehow helps
them and it just doesn't because
whatever you cast blame to is where you
also cast power to and so if I say I
can't succeed because my mom didn't love
me guess who controls me my mom and so
if you also like replace my mom with a
race a gender a political party whatever
the thing like I can't succeed because
of Trump's laws I can't succeed because
of the radical left because of wokeism
because of whatever you actually give
that thing more power in your life than
you give yourself and so it's completely
it the thing is is that and this is
what's so deceiving about it is it's
very it's very um self-fulfilling is
that you get more evidence and you get
more confirmation you get more evidence
you get more confirmation and the more
your life sucks the more you're
confirmed that you were right but like
do you want to be right about the fact
that your life
sucks or would you rather like there's
there's I think it's an old Zig Ziggler
saying he said you can either be right
or you can be rich and I mean it's
simple but this is what he was getting
at is that you can say you know what you
are right your dad kicked the out
of your whole life and you don't have
any confidence because he told you a
piece of every day you're
right but in order to be rich you need
to let that go because every day you say
that I'm not successful because of this
it means because this now owns you and
for me personally that realization that
the thing that I hated most in the world
the things that I blamed for why my life
wasn't the way it was I was their
and just realizing that um made me angry
but through that anger I was able to say
well them like I will succeed
despite the fact that my dad said this
or my mom said this or Barack Obama said
this or Trump said this or the woke left
says what
despite that despite the fact that the
chips are stacked against me I will
still win why does saying my fault and
taking that accountability begin to set
someone down the path of making more
money and so if you think about if we
think about success in terms of layers
like foundations right the the the base
level like when you're digging the
building where you put the hole and you
pour the concrete in the base of the
entire thing is who is in power who is
source
because if it's anything but you in that
base layer all of the other things on
top of them will topple down it's it's a
foundation of sand otherwise you can't
build on top of blaming other people
there's nothing that stands on it you
see like I want to learn sales but I
can't learn sales because I didn't get
hugged enough as a kid and so I don't
like people and so as long as you keep
holding on to that you have sand as your
foundation but if you want to learn how
to sell or you want to learn how to
Market or you to learn how to do
whatever until you say well it's my
fault that I don't know
it and because of that it's within my
power to change it so it's not sales
books it's not it's not reading offers
it's not it's not even your books at the
at the very beginning you have to accept
that which is the first two words my
fault my responsibility all me I am
source and then once you can accept that
one thing and what's crazy is that that
one Foundation is where 90% of people
literally aren't they're not there they
can't do it the reason my girlfriend
left me is because of this not me the
reason I lost my job is cuz my my
employer was a dick my boss sucked
whatever the economy like but like it
never serves you like give me one
instance one example this is to anybody
who's listening to this one example of
when you blame something else and it
made you
better one you can't find it because
it's fundamentally not true and so you
cannot both desire to get better and
also maintain blame you have to pick
when did this really hit home for you
was it when you lost money no when I was
19 years old I had to write an essay
about uh depression in an intro to site
class and I used to I don't talk about
mother my mother very much but I used to
Har a lot I was an equal I was an equal
opportunity angry person I was angry at
everybody uh in other words I blamed
everyone
and so I blamed her for X Y and Z and I
remember having to write this essay on
depression and you had to do it from
someone else's perspective and so you
had to say how would they how would the
environment and their upbringing things
like that contribute
to the outcomes in their life and so by
writing the essay true or not to be
clear about my mother's upbringing and
how heart she had as an immigrant coming
here getting beat up as a kid getting
made up for not being able to speak the
language all that kind of stuff and this
was in the 50s it's when like it
was more accepted to beat up foreigners
rather than let them in anyways um so
she had a tough time and so it made
sense and and when I framed it like that
I was like you know maybe she's actually
a massive success given where she
started and so then I thought to myself
now mind you I still wasn't over it but
it was in this process that the first
thing that happened is when I went back
home for fall break or winter break I
remember she said something to me which
would normally just like be the
beginning of some big fight you know you
get into these routines like I'll say
this thing that we both hate and then
we'll just get in a nice fight about it
and she said the trigger and I was just
like I understand you I'm sorry you went
through the stuff you went through and
she just like looked completely shocked
and then just like started balling and
so I was like we're cool like you don't
anger me anymore and I think for the
most part since then like that's been
more or less the dynamic that
shifted but leading into that was also
the idea that all the
relationships that i' had that i' blamed
for not working because of the dynamic
that I had with my mother I was like I
am giving her this power over my love
life that's gross and so I was like well
I'd rather just say it's on me to change
and not have my mom or parents at all
involved in my relationships and so that
was me taking it's her fault that I
can't make these things work I have
commitment issues I don't want to get
close to people I've been hurt before
blah blah blah to like okay well let's
take it to the ACT extrem great you're
right you'll never be close to anyone
you'll never have a relationship that
I'll last you're right now
what I remember I was out a
conference and I had this lady stand up
in the crowd and I had just done a thing
on like I don't remember what it was
called it offers and she stood up and
said let me give you six reasons why
this isn't going to work for my business
and so she went down her list and I was
like uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh so I got to
the end of the whole thing and um she
said and that's why this isn't going to
work for my business and I was like
you're right you'll never be able to
make this work for your business and she
looked at me like angry and she lashed
back she's like yes I yes I will I'll be
able to make this work for my business
for this reason this reason and so the
thing is is that like if the victim
frame is just taken to the Natural
extreme you realize that you're right
you win the game and by being right the
entire team you lose everything and so
it's one of these frames that I love Dr
cashi says this he says you're 99% right
but 100% wrong and what that means is
like for example if I every time I bring
a girl home and I want my parents
approval I bring her home and they say
this isn't the one this isn't the one
she's not good enough whatever it is
every time it's easy for them to say
that because every single person you
date except for the one you marry they
are right on and so they're 99% of the
time they're right and they're confirmed
by saying that that person that you
bring home is not good enough because
every time eventually you break up oh
it's not going to last this isn't the
one it keeps going right but if you keep
doing that all the way to the Natural
extreme you're 100% wrong because you
will be wrong eventually it's the same
thing as like I want to start this
business it's not going to work it's not
going to work the second one will work
the fifth one won't work the seventh one
work won't work and they're right but
they're just wrong on the long enough
time Rison because one of them will
work and one of the girls or one
of the guys that you bring home will be
the one that you are going to be with
but it's so much safer for them to be
right and right and right and you and
they
get deceived by their short-term
rightness that they miss the long-term
wrong and we do this to oursel too when
you're in the victim frame I don't even
like using the victim frame but when
you're in the powerless frame you give
the power away and you get to be right
over that's why it didn't work this
didn't work this relationship won't work
this job won't work you keep it's not
going to work this time either because
you get to be right over and over again
it makes you feel good in the short term
but in the long term you guarantee the
loss I think there's also like social
reinforcement like we love to complain
about the weather it's literally the
same thing as never investing like if
you want to invest your money right and
you like you have all this big pile of
savings if you ever invest there's
always the possibility that it goes down
in the short term it's just the nature
of markets in general but if you never
invest you guarantee that you will never
get rich over the Long Haul and so every
day you could make this risk you take a
small risk but you guarantee a macro win
so you take a small risk today potential
for loss today for the guarantee over
the long haul that it grows and it makes
you money but the flip side is you don't
take the small risk of loss today you
take the Comfort today for the guarantee
that you get the long loss and so so
many people flip their life to that same
thing is that they have they flip the
pleasure for today and they and they
they just forget the second half of this
which is pain for tomorrow and that
today is also yesterday's tomorrow and
we're living through the pain that you
cast like you own this and until you're
like this is my fault them in pain today
because of decisions that I put off pain
for tomorrow where today is tomorrow
when you're broke every dollar means so
much to
you
but and you want to see the dollars in
your bank account go up but I never made
that my goal I made the amount of money
I made every month my goal because I saw
that as my like potential energy versus
stored energy not to get I mean whatever
physics people you get what I'm saying
and so I was willing to take that stored
energy and reinvested to take $5,000 a
month in income to make it $6,000 a
month cuz I knew that over a year I was
going to make 12 and so if it cost me
two to make the 12 in income I would
make that trade every time and so
whenever I'd save up a small like nut
now obviously I've always been pretty
good at about spending money like I i' I
haven't had that that habit so like
again foundations like first it's your
fault second spend less than you make
third take all of the excess and spend
it on making more because if you're
making minimum wage I'm GNA say what you
probably already know you're not going
to get ahead like you're not going to
save your way there you're not like
everyone loves to tell the story of that
one girl at McDonald's but you know they
don't tell the other hundred million
people who worked at McDonald's over
over the world who didn't make it and
like the outcome they're talking about
is like she made a million over 40 years
at working McDonald's like you can shoot
for more and so like take the money you
make live on nothing and the hard part
is just swallowing the Pride for the
fact that in the short term everyone's
going to be right when they say that
you're amounting to nothing and that's
the tough part that's the glass that you
have to you have to swallow that they
have to pull towards you and there's
just no other way like you have to learn
the skills now I mean to be fair YouTube
didn't exist when when I was doing this
and like Instagram was like a new
platform so like all this stuff like the
stuff we have today is crazy like the
stack that these videos and this podcast
like all the stuff didn't ex like I
remember when podcasting came out out
like I was already a business owner like
none of this stuff existed but at the
time I just took all the money I had and
I I want to I want to make this point
again is that people think that the
money is about buying courses and stuff
like that and you can like there's
nothing wrong with that I've learned a
ton from a lot of the stuff that I've
bought to be really honest with you but
I think that I've always had an amazing
return on education because I always did
it and I think like I always wanted to
be the best student in every class and I
was good at school and I and I I just
took business as a different another
another type of school but part of the
expenses that come into like what you
take that money for is experiments that
fail and so one of the things that
happens when you're broke is that you
bet on stuff and it doesn't work and
people feel like they're back at zero
but you're not back at zero you're at
where you were plus one experience plus
two experiences plus three experiences
plus four experience but when you have
plus 18 experiences all of a sudden Boop
you level up one you get experience
points there's a reason in video games
call experience points so you didn't
trade it for nothing you got an
experience point and with enough
experience points you get to the Next
Level and so I think if you just even
thought about it like that it's not a
loss but at an experience point it could
get it could bridge the gap between your
current income level and the income
level that you want to get to and then
guess what there's more experience point
that you have to get there and those
experience points also cost more money
because when you take a bed in the
beginning and when I say it cost money
it's like if you run an ad and it
doesn't work it costs money if you want
to set up a Shopify store or an
e-commerce store and you spend 30 40 50
bucks a month whatever it costs money um
and it does you know like all of the
these things cost money to start now
mind you it cost a lot less than it did
in the 20s when you had to mortgage your
house and guarantee that you'd win or
you'd lose everything forever um so like
the bar hasn't never been lower than it
is now but there still is a bar and you
have to get over it and I still think
that the vast majority of the that
people trying to get over has nothing to
do with the difficulty of business but
the first step the foundation which is
it is my fault that I am here and in it
being my fault I am the one who can get
me out of it it sounds like in that
stage three when you start experimenting
and investing in that and let's say the
kid who has a failed Drop Shipping
experiment or starts a school group and
they want to win the school games but
they don't they measuring stick for
whether or not they're doing well
shouldn't be how much money they're
making or should it like should they be
thinking about money at that point
or so the wealthiest people I
know only think about skills they think
about what can I learn and then what can
this skill get me and so they will
always take any money they can to buy
more more
skills and in the beginning you have to
buy all the skills yourself once you
have enough skills that you can generate
an excess of income you can start buying
other people's lives and what I mean by
that is like everything comes down to
buying time and so at some point you're
10 years into your career and you have a
handful of skills but you can buy
someone else's 10 years of skills by
just paying them to do something too so
you don't have to learn all those things
and so you do need to get good at stuff
and then eventually you generalize to
being good at people and that's pretty
much always the path for everyone maybe
the framing is like a lot of people who
are wanting to make more money just
don't know what the Avenues are yeah so
a lot of people who want to make money
don't understand how money is made and
so it's made by getting it from someone
else and they have to give it to you
voluntarily or it's theft and so
assuming you don't want to steal then
you have to give something to someone
else first and then by doing that they
give you money in exchange which is why
I love capitalism it's voluntary
exchange between two parties and both
parties say thank you at the end because
both parties think they're better off
from the trade and so the idea is what
you want to be able to do is find
something valuable to trade and so you
can either trade stuff you can find a
place where you can get stuff and then
bring it to other people where it's
convenient for them so they pay you more
than you did when you had to go find it
at some back alley cuz you know Suburban
mom doesn't want to go into back alley
to get X Y and Z but you'll give it to
man it sounds like I'm explaining drugs
but well there's a reason they make
money but anyways point is is that you
can sell stuff at a at a margin and a
part of that margin is going to be the
convenience that you deliver them and
either you're selling stuff to someone
else manufactures you create your own
stuff now if you're starting out you're
probably going to sell someone else's
stuff and I do think and I I mean I'm
saying this right
now I do love the concept that the first
thing you sell is not the last thing
you're going to sell and so learning to
sell in and of itself the best way to
learn to sell is sell something and
that's why uh referral referral uh
programs Ambassador programs affiliate
programs for different types of
businesses almost every business I've
ever owned has an affiliate program um
it's great to enroll in those I'm not
even going to say any of the names of
the companies that that we have because
I want you like it's not about that I
want you to if you can just because then
you you only have to figure out one
skill like if I just sell someone if I
just promote I get paid cool and I can
do that over and over again now over
time you're like man I want to make more
of the nut cool then you just you eat up
more of the
responsibility so you can either sell
stuff or you can sell skills you can SK
sell outcomes and so that's where you
develop a certain expertise so like in
the beginning for me and like the first
time this ever like the first money I
ever made from a stranger was that I had
a lady at the gym it's a real story I
was in really good shape I like to think
so and she said will you meet me uh and
do a nutrition consultation for me and
she didn't even say that she said will
you help me with my food I think is what
she said and I said sure um and so we
met at a at a pizza place ironically
college no this was after college this
is after graduate from college um when I
was still consultant so I I went we met
at a Pete's Place and I was like okay
well what are you currently eating and
she was like this and I was like well
what do you want to do she's like I'm
trying to lose weight and I was like
well this is something I eat for
breakfast that's less calories than your
thing it's pretty good and try this and
try this and try this and it took like
an hour and then um I had like a notepad
and I gave her the notes or whatever and
she took out her purse and she wrote
$200 on a check and she handed it to me
she was like thanks so much and I was
like looked I was just like looking at
the check looking at her looking at the
check looking at her and I was like okay
don't act surprised and I was like uh
thanks and then she left and I was like
holy I was like I just got paid for
but like realistically I'd been in at
this point I was competing so I'm
winning I'm like I had a state record at
that point I was in I was in shape you
know what I mean um and I think she knew
I was a state record holder cuz the gym
that I was was powerlifting gym um but I
had done some stuff I had gotten some
level of authority on some tiny thing
and people were like oh can you help me
with that too and to be really honest
with you my entire life and I'm saying
like there's many paths but like my life
has been learn something get good at it
have evidence that you were good at the
thing and then people ask you for help
on that thing and so in the beginning
people asked me how to get in shape and
then I started a business around getting
people in shape and then people who had
businesses around getting people in
shape asked me how I was getting my
businesses that were getting people in
shape to work and then people who had
businesses that were national scale that
helped people in a specific Niche or
industry started asking me how I was
helping people in a specific nich
industry and then people who had really
big businesses just started asking me
how did you get a really big business
and so like my entire life's been simply
doing as hard as I could to get
good at something and then do it enough
times and to be really like very clear
with you every time I did it it was not
to move on to the next step it was to
just get good at the thing and then by
getting good at the thing people asked
me about it and so it wasn't like I lost
10 pounds and then tried to start
selling you know weight loss advice I
had multiple State records and I
like I looked good you know what I mean
like I was in very good shape and then
people started asking me about it and
then I didn't have one gym and start
telling people hey here's how you run a
gy I had six gyms by the time I was 26
and and then people were like okay
you're 26 and you have six gyms and you
did all cash flow like you're doing
something right and then people started
asking me about the stuff and then and
then when I had the licensing business
doing 4 million a month people who had
other bigger businesses were doing a
million a month or 500,000 a month like
how do you get to 4 million a month and
I was like well this is what I did and
so like I've just tried to figure it out
and it's it's like the path has always
been revealed as I took more steps and
so I think a big fallacy in the early on
days is trying to think that you're
going to figure out the entire path
before you even take the First Step it's
just not true I was going to ask how
important is it for someone to have that
moment with the check where they just
make their first I mean in some ways I
think it's everything in other ways it's
nothing like one of the cool um
Shameless plug for school the
um 3.44% of people who finished their
first month of school make their first
dollar online and that's like so
like like that's why we do it you know
what I mean like I know how hard that
first dollar is like there's there's so
much to get the first dollar across the
because the second dollar comes so much
faster after that um that I mean that's
why that's why I invest in the company
that's why I'm so adamant about it but
um anyways the the point is is that yes
I think having the first dollar get
across is very important but if you can
reframe it from that experience points
perspective that there's there's there's
probably three levels before that you
have to like level one is that you have
to understand that it's my fault level
two is that you have to use what you
have not what you wish you had to get to
where you want to go and where you want
to go isn't 100 steps forward it's just
the next step and so like I don't think
that anger drives me as much as it used
to but it was everything that I had when
I started and so if I had listen to the
positivity Mantra when I started I never
would have gotten going because nothing
made me feel happy and so they were like
follow your passion and I was like my
passion is to not be poor and to not be
here in Baltimore that's my passion is
not be here and so that's what drove me
and so I think that it just needs to be
restated that
like is that the goal sure but is that
necessary to start no it's not and so I
can tell you that even when I was angry
um and getting through that making more
money did make my life better like I had
more ability to deal with inconveniences
hassles health issues from family
members that I had to putot the bill for
like all these things like money can
provide value and so um I'll say this
thing that a mentor told me he said
money does not buy happiness but it can
help you avoid
pain and so like I think that there's
nothing wrong with getting with making
money obviously I like doing it um but I
just
hate the people who espouse that you
have to feel a certain way to win or
that or that winning when you are angry
or sad or in pain or shame
is somehow wrong and so I just like you
have to meet success where you're at and
the first step you have to take out of
anger and the next step you have to take
out of sadness and the next one you have
to take out of Shame and use that to to
propel yourself forward all that matters
you take the
step and one of the things that I always
like is for a very long time I didn't
consider myself a good person I mean I
still probably don't but um in terms of
like I I always identified with the
villain um and the oppressor in most
scenarios which is bad but anyways but I
there's a point to this is that I never
thought that I
deserved the good life I never thought I
didn't think I deserve the happy ending
I put it that way and
so the thing that got me through that
was the idea and this felt like honestly
like gaming the system so like from the
evil side was that I could still get the
good guys ending if I just did the thing
that they do to get the ending so I
didn't have to do it with pure
intentions I didn't have to do it as a
great guy but if I just still did the
things I could still get the getting and
I think for me that that realization has
been why my ruthless focus on like what
did you do and to everyone who listens
to my stuff like it's like great throw
the emotions out throw the spiritual
energy vibrations out what do you
do patience is just figuring out what to
do do in the meantime like courage is
acting as though you weren't afraid like
like what do you do and then eliminating
everything else and then just doing that
and then doing whatever mental tricks
you have to do which is like there were
slaves who work seven days a week so can
I like and then
alternatively
catastrophizing the alternative path
which is that if I do not do
anything this is what will happen
eventually that pain in the future will
be my pain today and then actively
thinking about what that pain would be
like and then seeing if that can make
you more uncomfortable than the comfort
that you're in and I think I I think
Tony Robin says this he says change
happens when the pain of staying the
same sorry when the pain of change is
less than the pain of staying the same
and so if you're comfortable and staying
the same the point is to make yourself
more in pain to get yourself to move and
so I think there's a skill in being able
to Future pace and think through what
pain you're going to go through like if
you're like man okay I have gained 5 lb
a year and it has been 4 years so I'm 20
lb up well if 4 years from now I'm
another 20 lbs heavier and Imagining the
snide comments at the Holiday party or
the if you're a girl the guy who says
man she'd be really cute if she lost 40
PBS or like even like I'm going girls
perspective here a guy who says
something that's like
um I would be with her but she's just
she's just too fast
she's just not cute enough and you're
like wow that's so Politically Incorrect
deal with it it's
life but the thing is is like your
thoughts don't need to be politically
correct they're your thoughts they're no
one else's thoughts and so whatever you
have to do to get yourself there and for
me the idea that a girl that I would
want to be with would be like I just
don't think he's ambitious enough I
don't think he's successful enough like
that those ideas killed me and so I
never wanted to be denied entry to
somewhere because I didn't have these
things now do I believe that people
should be denying entry no but I also
realize that's the way the world is and
so you I think you can balance both
beliefs like I'd love things to be
different but I accept the fact that
they're not does this feel like a good
argument for getting rid of other broke
friends because I bet other broke
friends reduce the pain of staying the
same a friend who supports you is
someone who
deliberately decreases the possibility
of
failure and so if you look at your
friends and you ask yourself does this
person increase or decrease the
possibility of failure with my goal it's
very easy to answer that question it's
yes or no it's increase or decrease
there's no in between do they increase
or they decrease my possibility that I
get to my goal if the answer is
decrease and get rid of them because
imagine that you have 100% chance of
hitting your goal and you have three
friends that have a 30% decrease like
you might now have a have a you
know whatever third time three is
whatever you have 27% chance of hitting
your goal now because you have three
terrible friends like negative
experience yeah yeah they're they're
they're it's like getting in video games
it's like you've got somebody who's
casting like a slow spell on you and
you're like moving so slow and you're
like weak and like all your all your
hits have like half power like a lot of
people need to
shed friendships but the thing is it's
more that they call them friends but
they're not really friends they're just
there and they're there because they've
always been there but not because they
should be there but because they're
going to help you get to where you want
to go they just they're just there they
exist they're not going anywhere they
don't have goals and they're at a
different part of their Journey there's
nothing wrong with that but if you're
going to start the path of of of
drinking glass and starting to to to
double time you got to live your life
and you got to live tomorrow's life and
the next day's life and start dragging
that towards you they're going
to they're going to be upset about it
and so one of the say I recently have
that I like a lot which is there are no
social obligations only social
consequences and the people who want to
deliver those consequences often do it
by talking to you less and by avoiding
you more they try to spend less time
with you and talk to you less to punish
you for the fact that you missed the
party you missed the going out you
didn't show up to their wedding you
didn't show up to their dogs christening
or
whatever but the crazy thing is is that
if you felt obligated to go then it
means you didn't want to go and if mean
that means that if you didn't want to go
and the punishment of not going is that
you don't have to go more in the future
because they avoid you and they don't
invite you anymore then to me that's a
win-win you save time today and you save
time tomorrow and I don't understand why
people are not willing to deal with that
like just looking at what happens rather
than whatever emotional noise they make
with their face at you like moving past
that great you expelled Air at me
understood got it but the outcome is you
will no longer invite me which is what I
want great I feel like we won here and
so thinking second and third order
outcomes from what happens when I quote
break up with this friend or what
happens when I offend this friend a lot
of times it's you closer to your
goal and I've always been okay with that
and like if someone if someone
like the moment I have seen somebody as
decreased in the likely that I hit my
goal I am happy to tell them that like I
think I think you are not good for me I
don't think you help me hit what I want
to hit and they' be like well then
they'll try and downgrade your goals and
say you shouldn't believe this way and
then they'll cast their beliefs on you
and for me it's like that's amazing that
you believe that I don't believe that
and I don't really want to believe what
you believe because then I would have
your life and I certainly don't want
that and so like again I I you I I make
these tweets about this but it's like if
you don't like their life don't listen
to what they say like don't take their
advice if you don't like what you see
and so if everyone around you has a life
you don't want then don't listen to any
of their advice like again hopefully
you're listening to this and you're
watching if there's some element of my
life or whatever that you find awesome
cool then maybe some element of what I
can share is helpful for you um but you
have to put blinders on because there is
a period of time where you and I mean
I've said this but you're not going to
be successful enough for the next tier
of friends but you're too different from
the friends that you used to have and so
that middle path is very lonely but the
good thing about loneliness is you've
got time and right now time's what you
need because you got to learn stuff you
got to get the skills so you can start
trading that for more and more money and
then you can take the money and trade
that for more money but in the beginning
you just have time and that's what you
have to spend and so if you are broke or
you are poor and wish to no longer be
broken
poor the first is owning the fact that
everything that has to do with your life
is your
fault and a lot of people will reject
that and you're right stay poor you're
totally right you'll never be successful
you're totally right I believe
you the next next step is being willing
to use what you have rather than what
you think you should have or what you
wish you had the circumstances the
connections the money whatever the
passion the purpose the meaning behind
the work you can wish for all that stuff
but you don't have it so you have to use
what you have which could be anger could
be shame could be pain
whatever and
then as soon as you start taking action
everyone around you will collapse and
try to pull you down and so the only way
to protect yourself against that is to
increase your own approval of self and
decrease how much their opinion of you
matters which means that you have to be
you have to be proud of you for taking
the
step and actively look at their lives
and think do I want what they have if
the answer is no then do not listen to
what they
say
and then when you do that you keep
walking you keep taking
steps no matter how painful it is then
you never
stop and if you do that you will get
there so cool
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