How I Knew I Was A Cocaine Addict

Summary

The speaker shares their journey into addiction, starting with alcohol at 14 due to family history and then cocaine in their early 20s. Initially, cocaine made them feel invincible and confident. Despite attempts to control use, obsession grew, leading to daily use and chasing the first high. They acknowledge the struggle of addiction, the need for support, and the importance of wanting to stop. They encourage those struggling with cocaine addiction to seek help, emphasizing that recovery is possible.

Takeaways

• 🍻 The speaker's initial addiction was to alcohol, which was both legal and prevalent in their family, leading to an early start at the age of 14.
• 🌟 The first experience with cocaine was during a divorce in the speaker's early 20s, which introduced a feeling of invincibility and boosted confidence.
• 🚫 Despite the initial positive feelings, the speaker acknowledges that not using cocaine again was a crossroads moment that could have prevented addiction.
• 💊 The speaker differentiates between prescription medication use and addiction, noting that needing a substance more and more is a sign of addiction.
• 🧠 Addiction is described as an obsession that rents a spot in the brain, leading to a constant desire for the substance.
• 💰 Cocaine addiction became a financial burden as the speaker attempted to budget its use but eventually succumbed to daily use.
• 🔥 The chase for the first high is a continuous struggle for addicts, as subsequent highs rarely match the initial experience.
• 🏃 The speaker emphasizes that addiction is not just about physical dependence but also the obsessive thoughts and behaviors surrounding the substance.
• 🔗 The speaker shares resources for support, such as NA (Narcotics Anonymous), and encourages those struggling to seek help and know they are not alone.
• 💪 Recovery is presented as a personal choice and journey, with the speaker highlighting the importance of wanting to stop and the strength to resist the urge.

Q & A

What was the speaker's first experience with alcohol?

The speaker started drinking alcohol at the age of 14, indicating that alcoholism runs in their family and they became an alcoholic quite easily.

How did the speaker's first encounter with cocaine occur?

The speaker first tried cocaine in their early 20s with a friend while going through a divorce, and it was offered to them casually during a game of pool.

What were the immediate effects of cocaine on the speaker?

The first time the speaker used cocaine, they felt invincible, with a boosted ego, increased confidence, and energy, which made them feel good.

What is the difference between the speaker's use of prescribed medication and their cocaine addiction?

While the speaker can go months without taking prescribed medication like Adderall for ADHD and still be fine, their use of cocaine became an obsession, leading to addiction.

How does the speaker define addiction in the context of their experience?

For the speaker, addiction is characterized by an increasing need for a substance, chasing a high, and an obsession with the drug that租s a spot in one's brain.

Why did the speaker decide to use cocaine only during special times?

The speaker wanted to control their use of cocaine and avoid becoming addicted, so they initially planned to use it only during special occasions.

What was the turning point for the speaker that led to daily cocaine use?

The turning point was when the speaker started doing cocaine more frequently, eventually leading to daily use as they chased the high and became obsessed with the drug.

How does the speaker describe the challenge of achieving the first high in addiction?

The speaker mentions that the first high is usually the best, and addicts are always chasing that initial high, which becomes increasingly difficult to replicate.

What advice does the speaker give to those struggling with cocaine addiction?

The speaker suggests seeking support and help, and being open about one's addiction, emphasizing that recovery is possible and that one must hit rock bottom to start the journey to sobriety.

What is the significance of the speaker's mention of N.A. and A.A.?

The speaker provides links to Narcotics Anonymous (N.A.) and Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) as resources for those struggling with addiction, indicating that these organizations can offer community and support.

How does the speaker describe the feeling of being addicted to cocaine?

The speaker describes the feeling as an obsession, a constant desire, and a fight against the urge to use the drug, even after being sober for a significant period.