Life is short (how to spend it wisely) ⏱

Pick Up Limes
24 Jan 202308:04

Summary

TLDR这个视频脚本探讨了我们一生中与时间的关系如何变化,以及我们的社交圈如何随着年龄增长而演变。从童年时期的家庭为中心,到青少年时期的友谊,再到成年后的伴侣和工作伙伴,我们的关注点不断转移。视频还提到了随着年龄的增长,我们独处的时间也在增加。通过这些发现,视频鼓励观众珍惜与家人和朋友的时光,培养健康的同事关系,并学会享受独处。

Takeaways

  • 🕰️ 随着年龄的增长,我们对时间的感觉和关系会发生变化。
  • 🧒 童年时感觉时间无限,成年后则对时间流逝的快速有了深刻认识。
  • 👨‍👩‍👧 我们一生中与谁共度时光的模式会不断演变。
  • 🌍 视频中提到,作者29岁的母亲作为难民移民到加拿大,带着三个孩子开始新生活。
  • 🏠 童年时家庭生活充满活力,与家人共度时光是宝贵的记忆。
  • 🎓 成年后,与家人相处的时间会大幅减少,转而与朋友和伴侣共度更多时光。
  • 🌐 作者26岁时从加拿大移居到荷兰,与伴侣团聚,感受到与家人分离的情感。
  • 📈 根据Our World和Data的研究报告,人们在不同生命周期阶段与不同人群的互动时间有所不同。
  • 👪 随着年龄的增长,人们会更多地独自度过时间。
  • 💡 视频中提到四个关键点:重视与家人的时间、有意识地培养友谊、珍惜与孩子的时光、以及培养与同事的健康关系。
  • 🧘‍♀️ 面对未来可能增加的独自时间,学习享受独处的时光是重要的。
  • 🤝 作者通过BetterHelp平台找到了适合自己的治疗师,强调了在线心理咨询的便利性。

Q & A

  • 为什么小时候我们感觉时间是无限的?

    -小时候,我们对未来充满无限可能的认识,没有太多生活压力和责任,因此感觉时间是无限的,可以做很多想做的事情。

  • 随着年龄的增长,人们对时间的感觉如何变化?

    -随着年龄的增长,人们开始意识到时间的快速流逝,意识到没有什么是永恒不变的,因此对时间的感知和珍惜程度会有所改变。

  • 为什么我们的社交圈在我们一生中会发生变化?

    -我们的社交圈会随着生活阶段的变化而变化,比如从童年时期的家庭,到青少年时期的朋友,再到成年后的伴侣和同事,这些变化反映了我们不同生活阶段的需求和重点。

  • 视频中提到,为什么作者感到离开家庭移居国外像是抛弃了家人?

    -作者感到像是抛弃了家人,因为她为了和伴侣在一起,从加拿大移居到荷兰,这让她感到对原生家庭有所亏欠,尽管她的母亲告诉她,这是生活的常态,每个人都会为了自己的生活做出选择。

  • 作者从'our world and data'的报告中得到了哪些启示?

    -作者从报告中了解到,我们一生中与不同人群共度的时间是变化的,从童年时期的家人,到青少年时期的朋友,再到成年后的伴侣和同事,以及老年时期独自一人的时间越来越多。

  • 作者想要如何优先安排与家人的时间?

    -作者想要通过更多地联系家人、抓住与他们相聚的机会,以及尽可能多地与他们见面来优先安排与家人的时间,因为她意识到与家人共度的时间是有限的。

  • 作者对于友谊有什么见解?

    -作者认为随着年龄的增长,我们与朋友共度的时间并没有想象中那么多,因此有意投资于几段深厚友谊是非常有价值的。

  • 作者如何看待与孩子们共度的时间?

    -作者认为孩子们成长迅速,不会长时间待在家里,因此珍惜与孩子们共度的时间非常重要。

  • 作者对与同事的关系有什么建议?

    -作者建议培养与同事的健康关系,通过表达感激、沟通和投资于这些关系,可以带来积极的影响。

  • 为什么作者想要学习如何享受独处的时光?

    -作者想要学习享受独处的时光,是因为她意识到随着年龄的增长,人们会越来越频繁地独自度过时间,而且独处并不一定意味着孤独。

  • betterhelp是一家怎样的公司?

    -betterhelp是一家在线心理咨询服务公司,用户可以在家中通过文本、电话或视频聊天的方式与专业治疗师进行交流。

Outlines

00:00

🌱 时间感知与人际关系的演变

本段讨论了随着我们成长,我们对时间的感知和人际关系的变化。小时候,我们感觉时间是无限的,但随着年龄的增长,我们开始意识到时间的快速流逝和事物的不断变化。视频作者通过自己的家庭故事,探讨了不同人生阶段与家人、朋友、伴侣和同事相处时间的变化。特别提到了作者的父母作为难民移民到加拿大的经历,以及作者自己成年后移居荷兰的决定。通过这些个人经历,作者引出了'Our World and Data'的研究,展示了人们在一生中如何分配与不同人群相处的时间,强调了家庭、友谊、浪漫关系和工作关系的重要性。

05:03

🤔 对时间分配的反思与未来展望

在这段中,作者反思了如何分配时间给生活中重要的人和事。根据研究数据,作者提出了几点建议:一是要优先与家人共度时光,意识到与家人相处的时间是有限的;二是要重视并投入于少数深厚的友谊中;三是要珍惜与孩子相处的时间,因为他们成长迅速;四是与同事建立健康的关系,因为他们占据了我们大量的时间;最后,作者表达了对未来独居生活的期待,希望学会享受独处的时光。作者还分享了自己通过BetterHelp在线平台寻求心理咨询的经历,强调了在线心理咨询的便利性和有效性。

Mindmap

Keywords

💡时间的流逝

时间的流逝是指时间不断前行,无法停止或倒流的特性。在视频中,讲述者通过个人经历和家庭故事,探讨了随着年龄增长,人们对时间流逝感知的变化,以及这一过程中人际关系的演变。例如,从孩童时期的无忧无虑到成年后的家庭和职业责任,时间的流逝体现在生活阶段的转换和人生选择上。

💡家庭

家庭在视频中被描述为人生旅程的起点和基础,是最早和最长时间陪伴个体的群体。视频通过讲述者的家庭背景,强调了家庭在个体成长和价值观形成中的重要作用。尽管随着时间的推移,与家人共度的时间可能会减少,但家庭的重要性和对个体影响持续存在。

💡友谊

友谊在视频中被描绘为人生旅程中的重要组成部分,尤其是在青春期和成年早期。随着人们从家庭向外拓展社交圈,朋友成为了重要的支持系统。视频强调了即使在成年后,朋友间的深层次联系和有意义的互动仍然具有不可替代的价值。

💡孤独感

孤独感在视频中被提到作为一个与年龄增长相关的现象,尤其是在退休和子女成长离家后更为显著。视频通过讲述者的父母作为例子,探讨了人们在人生晚期可能会面临的孤独感,并提出了学习如何享受独处时光的重要性。

💡移民

移民在视频中是通过讲述者的家庭历史来讨论的,特别是讲述者的母亲29岁时移民到加拿大的故事。这一概念展示了家庭如何为了更好的生活而面临重大的生活变化和挑战,以及这些经历如何影响个人和家庭的时间观念和价值观。

💡工作

工作在视频中被提到作为成年人生活的一个重要方面,特别是在讨论如何与同事建立健康关系的部分。这强调了在职场中花费的时间对个人社交网络和日常生活的影响,以及在工作中寻求积极人际关系的价值。

💡成长

成长在视频中是一个贯穿始终的主题,从儿童时期到成年,再到老年。视频通过讲述者的个人故事和家庭经历,探讨了人在不同生命阶段的成长经历,以及这些成长过程如何塑造我们的人际关系和时间观。

💡跨文化经历

跨文化经历在视频中通过讲述者自己的经历被提及,特别是她从加拿大移居到荷兰的故事。这种经历不仅体现在地理上的移动,还涉及到适应新文化和语言的挑战,以及这些经历如何影响个人对家庭、友情和孤独的理解。

💡人际关系的演变

人际关系的演变是视频中的一个核心主题,讨论了从儿童到老年,随着时间的推移,我们与家人、朋友、伴侣和同事的关系是如何变化的。视频通过各种个人和家庭故事,以及引用研究数据,描绘了这一演变过程。

💡时间管理

时间管理在视频中被间接提及,特别是在讨论如何有效地利用时间,与家人、朋友和自己共度时光的部分。通过强调有意义地分配时间的重要性,视频传达了对时间的尊重和珍惜,以及它在维护和发展人际关系中的作用。

Highlights

随着年龄的增长,我们对时间的感觉和关系发生了变化。

随着年龄的增长,我们开始意识到时间的快速流逝,没有什么是永远不变的。

我们一生中与人共度时光的方式也在不断演变。

作者29岁时移民加拿大,父母作为难民生活了10年。

作者记得童年时家中充满了活力,三姐妹经常一起玩闹和争吵。

作者高中毕业后搬到校园生活,与家人相处的时间大幅减少。

26岁时,作者搬到荷兰与伴侣团聚。

作者发现,随着年龄的增长,我们的社交网络开始缩小。

作者强调要珍惜与家人的时间,意识到与他们相处的日子是有限的。

作者建议要对友谊有所意图,投资于几个深厚友谊。

作者提到要珍惜与孩子的时间,因为他们不会长时间待在家里。

作者认为要培养与同事的健康关系,因为与他们相处的时间几乎与伴侣一样多。

作者想要学会更舒适地独处,尽管这个想法让她感到害怕。

作者分享了使用BetterHelp在线心理咨询服务的个人经历。

BetterHelp允许用户在家中通过在线聊天与心理医生交流。

BetterHelp提供了超过25,000名经验丰富的心理医生,用户可以根据需要更换医生。

BetterHelp提供了首次使用优惠,可以享受首月10%的折扣。

作者鼓励观众思考他们如何分配时间,以及是否在与最重要的人建立关系。

Transcripts

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so as we go through life our

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relationship with time changes when

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we're kids we feel like time is

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Limitless we have all the time in the

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world to go where we want do what we

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want be who we want but as we get older

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we become acutely aware of how quickly

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time is passing Us by and how nothing

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stays the same forever

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[Music]

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throughout our lifetime the evolution of

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who we spend our time with changes and I

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find it incredibly fascinating and it's

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what I wanted to chat about in today's

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video I also briefly want to thank

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betterhelp for sponsoring today's video

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but we're going to chat more about them

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at the end

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foreign

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was just 29 years old when she

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immigrated to Canada my parents had been

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refugees for 10 years and they were

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immigrating with three kids I was the

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youngest I was just a little baby at the

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time and they worked tirelessly to build

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a new life for us like I know now just

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how difficult it was for them at the

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time learning a new language finding new

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ways to make a living all while living

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very far away from where they once

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called home but I do remember that

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growing up our house was so Lively we

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were three girls so we played around a

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lot we fought probably even more but we

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were always together

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I vividly remember building blanket

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forts with my sisters we would go

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camping with our parents and cousins and

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I'd squeeze the jelly into the donuts at

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the diner that my parents once owned but

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then it felt like I blinked my eyes I

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graduated high school and I moved out of

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the house to live on campus I hadn't

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given much thought yet to the fact that

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the days and hours I'd be spending with

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my sisters and my parents that it would

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take a nosedive

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that we'd see each other every few weeks

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for holidays and birthdays but most of

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my time I was now spending with my

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friends

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and then similar to my mom at the age of

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26 I moved overseas unlike her I wasn't

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a refugee I didn't have kids but I moved

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from Canada to the Netherlands so that I

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could be with my partner so that I could

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be with Robin

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and I often felt that I had abandoned my

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family and I would even tell my mom that

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and she would say you know but I did it

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too I also left my mom to be with your

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dad and to start a family and my mom did

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it to her mom and her mom before that so

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that's just life

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and so even though the life stories of

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me and my mom could not be more

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different I think it's so fascinating to

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see that there are some similarities

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with all of our life stories and so

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recently I came across the findings from

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our world and data it's a research

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organization and they published this

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report that shows who we spend our time

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with across our lifetime and I think

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it's something we can all relate to so

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what they show is that as children we

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spend most of our time with our families

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and that makes sense right they're the

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ones who teach us guide us and help us

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navigate the world

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and then as we enter adolescence our

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time with family tails off and we spend

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more time with our friends it's a

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crucial time for us to learn how to

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build relationships but then you fast

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forward to Young adulthood and our Focus

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shifts to romantic relationships we

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spend more time with our partner it's a

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time when many of us start to settle

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down and maybe even consider having

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children of Our Own

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and at around the same time we spend a

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significant number of our hours with our

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co-workers building the foundations for

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our future and providing for our

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families

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but then as we age our social networks

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start to shrink we retire the kids leave

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the house and we spend an increasing

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amount of time alone

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and this is now something I'm seeing

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with my parents my dad is easing into

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retirement and my mom is actually

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currently on a solo backpacking trip

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it's all just a very different life now

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to the one they started in Canada when

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they were my age and these graphs have

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really got me thinking about who is it

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we're spending our time with and are we

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spending our time wisely and if there's

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anything I've taken away from the graphs

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it's this the first is to prioritize

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time with family knowing full well that

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our days are now numbered I want to try

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to not brush off opportunities to

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connect with them more I want to call

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them more I want to see them more if I

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can the second is to be intentional

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about friendships I was honestly really

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surprised to see that we don't spend all

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that much time with our friends as we

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get older but I do think it's really

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worthwhile to have a few close and

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really deep friendships that we invest

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in I don't think we need many friends

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but just a few good ones you know

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the third is to cherish time with kiddos

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Robin and I don't have kids of our own

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yet but I'm seeing how crazy fast my

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nieces and nephews are growing up and

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kids don't stay in the nest for long

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it's what my parents always said to us

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too and I didn't much listen to it at

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the time but now I see what they meant

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I think the fourth is to nurture healthy

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relationships with our co-workers I

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think it was astonishing to see how much

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time we spend with them almost as much

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time as we spend with our partners and

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so showing appreciation communicating

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compassionately and investing in the

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relationships I think can make a really

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big difference

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and then lastly I think what stood out

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to me the most what was most shocking

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was to see the graph that showed how

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much time we spend alone and so looking

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into the future I want to learn to

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become more comfortable with being alone

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because the idea frankly scares me but I

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know that being alone doesn't

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necessarily have to mean being lonely I

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do find that when I have a moment alone

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I either distract myself or I want to

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hang out with Robin I want us to do

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things together

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but we arguably always spend more time

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alone than we do with anyone else and

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even more so later in life so I do want

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to learn to enjoy more of my own company

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for the sake of My Future Self but

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that's just my take on it I'm curious

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though how you perceive these graphs do

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you feel like how you're spending your

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time is is spent wisely kind of building

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relationships with the people that

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matter the most to you in your life and

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how do you feel about the graph that

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shows that we spend more and more time

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alone as we get older I'm genuinely

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curious to hear your thoughts I'll see

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you in the comments and again I wanted

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to think better help for sponsoring

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today's video when I moved to the

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below that's where I'm actually also

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going to leave you the links for the

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graphs for my world and data in case you

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want to check it out for yourself I

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think the graphs are incredibly thought

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provoking and I think it just puts

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things into perspective I often also

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feel that we need to be remind did more

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often than we need to be taught and I

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think that's the case with these graphs

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it's things that we kind of all already

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know but it's just good to see it from

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time to time you know so anyway thanks

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so much for enjoying this cup of tea

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with me it's really lovely I really

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appreciate you and pick up lines signing

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off I'll see you in the next video

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[Music]

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