Postnatal depression in men - BBC Stories

Summary

In this video, a father shares his personal struggle with postnatal depression, a condition he initially thought was exclusive to new mothers. He describes the emotional numbness and feelings of failure upon the birth of his child, the societal pressure on men to suppress emotions, and his eventual contemplation of suicide. Through support from his wife and an off-duty police officer, he sought help, underwent therapy, and now advocates for men to openly discuss mental health, emphasizing the importance of addressing paternal mental health for the well-being of the entire family.

Takeaways

• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The script discusses the experience of a father who struggled with postnatal depression, highlighting that it's not just a condition exclusive to mothers.
• 🤱 The father initially felt numb and disconnected from his newborn, which is contrary to societal expectations of immediate affection and love.
• 🚫 He was under the misconception that postnatal depression was solely a hormonal issue affecting women, not realizing the psychological impact of life events like having a baby can affect anyone.
• 👨‍👩‍👧 His wife, Sarah, was the first to suggest that he might be experiencing postnatal depression, showing the importance of open communication in relationships.
• 😔 The societal pressure for men to suppress emotions and maintain a strong facade made it difficult for him to express his feelings and seek help.
• 👶 The father's struggle affected his interactions with his family, particularly when his daughter noticed his constant grumpiness.
• 💔 At his lowest point, he considered suicide, underlining the severity of postnatal depression's impact on mental health.
• 👮‍♂️ An off-duty police officer intervened during a critical moment, emphasizing the role of timely intervention in preventing tragic outcomes.
• 💪 The father's daughter's affectionate gesture was a turning point, motivating him to seek help and improve for his family.
• 🩺 He eventually sought medical help, including medication and cognitive behavioral therapy, which helped him manage his condition.
• 🗣️ The script concludes with a call to action for men to openly discuss mental health, break the stigma, and seek support without fear of judgment.

Q & A

What was the initial trigger for the speaker's feelings of failure?

The initial trigger for the speaker's feelings of failure was becoming a dad.

What was the speaker's wife's suggestion regarding his emotional state?

The speaker's wife suggested that he might be experiencing postnatal depression.

How did the speaker initially react to his newborn child?

The speaker initially felt numbness and did not feel affection or love for his child.

What societal expectations did the speaker feel he was failing to meet?

The speaker felt he was failing to meet the societal expectation of feeling absolute love and adoration for his newborn child.

What misconception did the speaker have about postnatal depression?

The speaker initially believed that postnatal depression was something only experienced by women due to hormonal changes.

How did the speaker view the concept of having a baby in terms of mental health?

The speaker later viewed having a baby as a significant life event that can cause depression, not just a hormonal issue.

What cultural factors contributed to the speaker's reluctance to discuss his feelings?

The cultural factors included the idea that men should not talk about feelings and should maintain a strong, stoic demeanor.

What was the turning point for the speaker in seeking help for his depression?

The turning point was when the speaker considered taking his own life and was stopped by an off-duty police officer.

What actions did the speaker take to improve his condition after the incident at the train tracks?

The speaker saw a doctor, received medication, and underwent cognitive behavioral therapy.

How does the speaker feel about his children now that he has received treatment?

The speaker now feels unconditional love for his children and is happy that he has come through his depression.

What message does the speaker want to convey to other men experiencing similar issues?

The speaker wants to convey that it's important for men to talk about their feelings and seek help, and that they should not suffer in silence.