Breaking the Silence about Childhood Trauma | Dani Bostick | TEDxGreenville

Summary

The speaker shares a personal journey of trauma and PTSD, challenging the common misconception that it only affects military veterans. They recount childhood sexual abuse and its long-term effects, emphasizing that 1 in 8 children suffer trauma severe enough to impact their mental and physical health into adulthood. The talk highlights the importance of recognizing and addressing trauma in children, suggesting community education, sharing personal stories, and being supportive allies as key steps towards creating safer environments for them.

Takeaways

• 😢 PTSD is not exclusive to military veterans; it can affect anyone, including children who have experienced trauma.
• 🏊‍♂️ The speaker's personal trauma began at a young age with sexual abuse from a swim coach, highlighting that trauma can occur in unexpected places.
• 👶 1 in 8 children suffer from trauma severe enough to have lasting negative effects on their mental and physical health.
• 🔢 The impact of childhood trauma can be profound, potentially shortening a person's lifespan by up to 20 years compared to their peers.
• 🚫 Trauma is not limited to one type; it can result from various experiences such as accidents, illnesses, violence, or living in poverty.
• 🧠 Trauma can alter the developing brain's architecture, emphasizing the importance of early intervention and support.
• 🤔 The speaker's lack of awareness about PTSD and trauma during their teaching career underscores the need for better education and understanding among educators.
• 📚 Learning about PTSD through personal experience and clinical study helped the speaker realize the prevalence and impact of trauma.
• 🌐 Trauma is pervasive, affecting all aspects of life, much like gravity, and is often taken for granted or misunderstood.
• 👩‍🏫 Schools and communities need to be more trauma-informed, providing a safe and supportive environment for children.
• 🤝 Becoming allies to children who have experienced trauma involves listening, understanding, and providing a sense of safety and importance.

Q & A

What is the common misconception about PTSD mentioned in the script?

The common misconception is that PTSD only affects veterans, particularly those from the military, and that it's something that happens far away and only to very strong people.

What personal experience does the speaker share regarding trauma?

The speaker shares a personal experience of being sexually abused by a swim coach from the age of seven to 12, which led to their own trauma and PTSD.

How does the speaker compare trauma to gravity?

The speaker compares trauma to gravity because, like gravity, it is a pervasive force that affects every aspect of a person's life, but is often taken for granted or goes unnoticed.

What are the potential long-term effects of childhood trauma on a person's lifespan?

Children who suffer from trauma can expect to experience a lifespan that is 20 years shorter than their peers due to the long-lasting negative effects on both mental and physical health.

Why did the speaker not recognize their own PTSD until they were in counseling school?

The speaker did not recognize their own PTSD until they were in counseling school because they, like many others, associated PTSD with veterans and far-away events, and did not realize it could apply to their own childhood experiences.

What is the significance of the speaker's mention of Seneca and his quote?

The speaker mentions Seneca and his quote 'sometimes just living is an act of bravery' to emphasize the daily struggle and courage required by children and others suffering from trauma.

What are some ways that children might cope with trauma as mentioned in the script?

Children might cope with trauma through dissociation, where they mentally leave their body to escape the reality of their situation, and by experiencing symptoms like intrusive thoughts, avoidance, nightmares, and hyper arousal.

Why is it important for schools and communities to be aware of childhood trauma?

It is important for schools and communities to be aware of childhood trauma because it can significantly impact a child's ability to learn, form relationships, and their overall well-being, and awareness can lead to better support and understanding.

What steps does the speaker suggest to help children affected by trauma?

The speaker suggests disseminating information about childhood trauma, sharing personal stories to raise awareness, and being an ally to children by providing support, understanding, and a safe environment.

How does the speaker's experience with reporting their childhood abuse influence their perspective on trauma?

The speaker's experience with reporting their childhood abuse, including the response from the police, influenced their perspective on trauma by highlighting the need for understanding and support systems, as well as the importance of acknowledging and addressing past trauma.

Outlines

00:00

🔍 Understanding PTSD Beyond the Military

The speaker begins by challenging the common perception that PTSD is exclusive to military personnel, highlighting that it can affect anyone, including children. They share a personal story of childhood sexual abuse by a swim coach, emphasizing that trauma can happen to anyone, anywhere. The paragraph discusses the prevalence of trauma in children, noting that one in eight children experiences significant trauma leading to lifelong negative effects on mental and physical health. The speaker points out that trauma's impact is not limited to combat or abuse, but can also stem from various life events such as accidents, illness, or poverty. The paragraph concludes with the speaker questioning why they were unaware of PTSD and its symptoms despite being a teacher for a decade, suggesting a broader societal lack of awareness and education on the subject.

05:02

🌐 The Ubiquity of Trauma and Its Impact on Children

In this paragraph, the speaker likens trauma to gravity, a force that is omnipresent yet often goes unnoticed. They discuss how trauma affects every aspect of a person's life, including relationships and sense of time. The focus is on children, who are portrayed as a vulnerable and often overlooked group when it comes to trauma. The speaker uses the example of a child re-experiencing trauma in a school setting, where the child's fear and dissociation can lead to misunderstandings and mislabeling by educators. The paragraph also touches on the long-term consequences of childhood trauma, such as increased risks of suicidality, eating disorders, obesity, and addiction. The speaker calls for increased awareness and action, suggesting that while we cannot control all sources of trauma, we can work to make schools and communities safer and more supportive for children.

10:02

🤝 Taking Action: Spreading Awareness and Supporting Children

The final paragraph emphasizes the need for action to support children affected by trauma. The speaker suggests three key steps: disseminating information about childhood trauma to ensure it's understood and not stigmatized, sharing personal stories to create connections and reduce isolation, and being an ally to children by providing support and a safe environment. The speaker shares a personal experience of having a teacher ally at the sentencing of their abuser, highlighting the importance of such support. The paragraph concludes with a call to action for everyone to contribute to creating a better future for children with trauma, ensuring they have the chance to lead fulfilling lives.

Keywords

💡Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

PTSD is a mental health condition triggered by experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. In the video, PTSD is initially associated with military personnel, but the speaker broadens the conversation to include other traumas, such as childhood abuse, emphasizing that PTSD can affect anyone, not just veterans. The script uses the speaker's personal experience of sexual abuse during childhood to illustrate how PTSD can manifest in non-military contexts.

💡Trauma

Trauma refers to deeply distressing or disturbing events that can have long-lasting effects on an individual's mental and physical health. The video script discusses various forms of trauma, including military combat and child sexual abuse, highlighting that trauma is not limited to one type of experience and can occur to anyone. The speaker's personal trauma is used as a narrative thread to explore the broader impacts of trauma on children.

💡Servicemembers

Servicemembers are individuals who serve in the military. The script initially mentions servicemembers to establish a common association of PTSD with military personnel. However, it quickly shifts to challenge this narrow view by discussing other forms of trauma that can lead to PTSD, thus broadening the conversation to include a wider range of affected individuals.

💡Predator

A predator in the context of the video refers to someone who exploits or abuses others, particularly children. The term is used to describe the speaker's swim coach, who is revealed to be a sexual abuser. This term is pivotal as it introduces the theme of childhood trauma and its profound effects on the speaker's life.

💡Dissociation

Dissociation is a psychological defense mechanism where a person detaches from their thoughts, feelings, memories, or sense of identity. In the script, the speaker mentions dissociation as a coping mechanism used by children experiencing trauma, which can lead to them feeling disconnected from their bodies during moments of distress. This concept is crucial for understanding how trauma affects a child's daily life and learning.

💡Hyper arousal

Hyper arousal refers to an exaggerated startle response or heightened state of alertness, often experienced by individuals with PTSD. The video script describes this as an emotional overreaction to certain situations, which can be a symptom of the ongoing stress response triggered by trauma. This concept helps to illustrate the ongoing impact of trauma on a person's emotional regulation.

💡Invasive thoughts

Invasive thoughts, also known as intrusive thoughts, are unwanted, involuntary thoughts, images, or ideas that cause distress. The script mentions these as a symptom of PTSD, where the individual's mind repeatedly forces them to relive traumatic events. This keyword is important for understanding the persistent nature of trauma's effects on mental health.

💡Avoidance

Avoidance in the context of PTSD refers to the tendency to stay away from situations, people, places, or things that trigger memories of a traumatic event. The speaker humorously notes their own avoidance as a sign of strength, but it's clarified as a defense mechanism to cope with the trauma. This keyword is significant for understanding how trauma can shape a person's behavior and choices.

💡Ally

An ally is someone who supports and stands up for the rights or causes of a particular group. In the video, the speaker discusses the importance of being an ally to children who have experienced trauma, emphasizing the need for support, understanding, and safe environments. This keyword is central to the video's message about community responsibility and the role of allies in helping those who have been traumatized.

💡Disseminate information

Disseminate information means to spread or circulate information widely. The speaker advocates for the widespread distribution of knowledge about childhood trauma to help people understand and respond effectively to it. This keyword is integral to the video's call to action, urging for education and awareness as a means to support children affected by trauma.

💡Suicidality

Suicidality refers to thoughts, plans, or actions related to suicide. The script mentions higher rates of suicidality as one of the long-term effects of childhood trauma. This keyword is used to underscore the severity of the consequences of untreated trauma and the importance of addressing it.

Highlights

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is commonly associated with military servicemembers, but it can affect anyone who experiences trauma.

Trauma can occur far away or close to home, and it's often discussed in a way that distances us from the reality of the experience.

The speaker shares a personal story of childhood sexual abuse by a swim coach, highlighting that PTSD can affect children too.

One in eight children suffers from trauma severe enough to have long-lasting negative effects on their mental and physical health.

Children who experience trauma can expect a lifespan that is 20 years shorter than their peers.

Trauma is not limited to combat or child sexual abuse; it can result from various experiences like accidents, illnesses, or violence.

Trauma can alter the developing brain's architecture, which is why it's crucial to address it in children.

The speaker was unaware of their own PTSD until they were in counseling school, emphasizing the lack of awareness and education about trauma.

Symptoms of PTSD include intrusive thoughts, avoidance, nightmares, and hyper arousal, which can be misunderstood or overlooked.

The speaker reports their childhood abuser to the police, illustrating the process of confronting and reporting trauma.

Trauma is likened to gravity, an ever-present force that affects every aspect of a person's life.

Children are a disenfranchised group, often misunderstood, and their experiences of trauma can be dismissed or ignored.

Dissociation is a common coping mechanism for children experiencing trauma, which can interfere with their learning and behavior in school.

The speaker calls for a national conversation about PTSD that includes children and recognizes the various forms trauma can take.

Information dissemination is crucial to understanding and addressing childhood trauma effectively.

Sharing personal stories of trauma can help others feel less alone and more understood.

Being an ally to children who have experienced trauma involves supporting them, making them feel seen and heard.

The speaker advocates for a society where all children with trauma have the chance to lead a good life.

Transcripts

[Music]

[Applause]

what do you think about when you hear

post-traumatic stress disorder military

exactly and there's a reason for that

there's a lot of servicemembers who have

PTSD and there's also another reason for

that the injury that troops suffer

happens very very far away and that

injury is happening to people we

consider heroes so that's a very very

safe way for us to talk about PTSD it's

a safe way for us to talk about trauma

because it happens far away and it's

happening to very strong people PTSD

doesn't just affect veterans however

that's me I was enrolled in gymnastics

that's right around the time I

discovered I wasn't very good at

gymnastics

because Dominique Dawes signed up for my

class

and in hindsight maybe I could have been

ok ish at gymnastics but at that time I

was like you know what this just isn't

for me so I started taking swim lessons

and I joined a swim team and that's when

my trauma began because my swim coach

was a predator and he sexually abused me

for five years from the age of seven to

around 12 so lots of people think that

PTSD is just for veterans but it can

affect children too just like it

affected me and I'm not alone in my

experience at all one in 8 children

suffers enough trauma to have long

lasting negative effects in terms of

both mental health and physical health

well into adulthood and these 1 in 8

children can expect to experience a

lifespan that is 20 years shorter than

their peers and the fact is that combat

is not the only type of trauma child

sexual abuse is not the only type of

trauma because another way we try to

make trauma okay in addition to making a

very very far away is to make it a

little less farther away but still far

away oh that happens to other people

that happens to people in different

neighborhoods well it can happen to

anyone and I'm willing to bet there's

people here who've experienced something

similar to what I've experienced and I'm

also willing to bet that there's people

here who've experienced other kinds of

trauma it could be a car accident a

serious illness witnessing a death some

type of other kind of violence living in

poverty can be a type of trauma the

stakes are extremely high for children

because trauma can change the

architecture of the developing brain and

since stakes are so high

I've always wondered why didn't I know

about this before you see I didn't know

I experienced PTSD or even trauma until

I was a student in counseling school I

had been a teacher for 10 years and had

probably seen over a thousand students I

had never learned about the symptoms of

PTSD I always thought it was for other

people far far away I never thought it

was done

thing that I had experienced and I never

thought it was something that was

affecting me every single day and I

remember sitting in that class and I'm

taking notes and I'm writing down the

symptoms intrusive thoughts mm-hmm

avoidance and I'd always called

avoidance I don't know if you can tell

I'm from the mid-atlantic region so

avoidance for me it was strength nothing

bothered me but really I was avoiding my

own reality

I also learned about nightmares I

learned about hyper arousal overreacting

emotionally to certain situations so I'm

sitting there taking notes class goes

out on a break we're all looking at each

other several of us figured out in that

class that we had PTSD and I thought why

haven't I learned about this before why

don't we talk about trauma and children

why don't we talk about trauma in other

populations so in addition to reading

the book and seeing it in a very

clinical way which is also a very safe

way to deal with trauma I learned about

PTSD by experiencing it you see around

that time I reported my childhood

perpetrator I called the police and said

this harm happened to me I know

something happened they said well what

happened I said I don't know and they

said when did it happen and I said 30

years ago and I was fully expecting to

click and the detective said next time

you're in Maryland come on and we'll

take a statement so as I process my

trauma and I processed it partially

through reporting I learned a lot and

here's what you need to know about

trauma and here's what you need to know

to help millions of children like the

child I was first of all the way I'd

like to think about trauma is like

gravity and I don't know about you but

I've never turned to somebody and said

man this gravity's amazing today check

it out this is amazing we're not

floating away my shoes are on my shirt

staying down we take gravity for granted

just like I took trauma for granted and

just like millions and millions of

people who've experienced trauma take

their post-traumatic stress for granted

it's not as them

well as having a bad memory of something

disturbing it's not as simple as having

a nightmare it pervades every aspect of

your life from relationships to your

sense of time you when you re experience

the trauma you think in what year is it

we're partying like it's 1999 again and

it's 2018 so trauma is a lot like

gravity insofar as it pervades every

aspect of a person's life and if you

think about children they're the most

disenfranchised group in our country and

in the world we like to think children

are okay we want to look at them and say

if they look okay

they must be okay but sometimes children

aren't Seneca the ancient Roman

philosopher whom I've loved I've always

loved him I'm a Latin teacher now I had

a stint as a mental health counselor and

now I teach Latin but Seneca was

suffering from a really really severe

illness and he wrote sometimes just

living is an act of bravery and that's

the case for children and anybody

suffering from trauma but if you imagine

that child in the context of school and

that child is reappear Ian Singh a

trauma and that child is literally

afraid for his or her life because

that's what it's like when you re

experienced it's well beyond a memory in

fact I don't have any memories of my

trauma I just have feelings so you're

sitting in class you thinking oh my gosh

it feels like I'm about to die and your

teacher writes up on the board here take

these notes our math back is important

when you think your survival is at stake

I'm guessing not other ways kids cope

with trauma my favorite one is

dissociation we all do it to some extent

maybe you space out you daydream in a

more extreme sense when you dissociate

because of trauma you can actually leave

your body your body's there but nobody's

home so if you imagine that in the

context of school where kids spend most

of their time what do teachers say to

kids I say it all the time

pay attention no command to pay attend

can bring a kid back out of dissociation

and then not only are they missing out

on schoolwork but then they're the kid

that never pays attention so there's

lots of symptoms to PTSD that you might

read about in a clinical way like I did

when I was in school taking notes I did

have a sinking feeling like this is

sounding very familiar but when you're

actually living it it's just like Seneca

said just living is an act of bravery so

what are some things we can do about

this I mean it's a it's affecting a lot

of people it affects a lot of children

our national conversation about PTSD

generally focuses on veterans to the

point where we know on the 4th of July

we might want to be careful with our

fireworks what do we know about a child

who's experiencing PTSD probably not

very much and that's dangerous because

these children will grow up hurting and

these children will experience higher

rates of suicidality higher rates of

eating disorder higher rates of obesity

dysfunctional relationships higher rates

of addiction so what can we do we

obviously can't control the weather if

it's a natural disaster that's a source

of the trauma we can't stop all crime

but there are some things that we can do

to make our communities and our schools

and the places where our children spend

the most time friendlier and safer for

them the first is simply to disseminate

information so when I had my children I

have four I had the furred my first

child I knew when I brought her home she

was going to cry all the time I knew she

wasn't going to smile and talk right

away there's lots of things I knew when

I get a runny nose I don't think my

brain is coming out I understand what

that's all about when we have flu

epidemics we get sheets of information

as teachers we find out how to prevent

the flu what to do if you have the flu

in

Meishan helps it helps people make sense

of the world and it helps people

understand how to react to certain

situations so we need to make sure that

information about childhood trauma isn't

relegated to universities and certainly

that's not relegated to some gimmick of

the month that's going to be popular

before the next acronym comes out we

need a sustained commitment to spreading

accurate information about childhood

trauma and that can happen in our

schools and that can also happen in our

communities doctors offices other places

children go that way people have the

information they need to understand and

experience that most people with trauma

cannot put a name to the second thing we

can do is to share our stories I share

my story so that others will share

theirs and since I've started sharing

I've met a lot of people who've

experienced the same thing as me and I

wish I had that as a child I did not

know anybody who was like me as a child

in fact I didn't know anybody like me

until I named myself as victim a in the

case against my perpetrator the third

thing we can do is to be an ally this is

my seventh grade social studies teacher

she came to the sentencing of my

perpetrator in 2014 and she was there

not just to support me as an adult but

to support that 11 year old girl who sat

in her class and she supported me then

she supported me by making me feel

important she supported me by telling me

my work was good and she supported me by

caring and providing a safe secure

environment and she did that for me at

my perpetrator sentencing so the third

thing we can do is be real allies to

children not be afraid of them not other

them not keep them at arm's length but

make them feel heard and seen and

understood I've had a good life and all

children with trauma deserve that chance

and together we can make that happen

thank you

you