The power of seduction in our everyday lives | Chen Lizra | TEDxVancouver
Summary
TLDRChen Lizra, danseuse et entrepreneure, explore la séduction comme une compétence de vie précieuse. À travers son expérience à Cuba, elle décrit la séduction non pas comme une manipulation, mais comme un art basé sur la confiance en soi, le langage corporel et le désir. Elle souligne l'importance de développer cette compétence dès le plus jeune âge pour réussir dans divers aspects de la vie. La séduction, selon Lizra, peut renforcer la confiance en soi et mener au succès, en montrant comment la maîtrise de cette 'art' permet d'obtenir ce que l'on souhaite dans la vie.
Takeaways
- 💃 La séduction est présentée comme une compétence de vie précieuse, pas seulement un aspect de la danse ou des mouvements, mais aussi comme un outil pratique pour le quotidien.
- 🇨🇺 L'auteur a voyagé en Cuba pour apprendre la danse et a découvert la séduction comme une compétence de vie, en observant comment les Cubains utilisent cette compétence.
- 🚹🚺 La séduction est souvent sexualisée et associée à des comportements négatifs, mais l'auteur défend une vision positive de la séduction comme un jeu, une connexion et une forme d'influence honnête.
- 🧬 Chaque personne a le pouvoir de séduire en eux, il suffit de le libérer, et cette compétence peut être développée dès un jeune âge pour améliorer le succès dans la vie.
- 🤔 La perception de la séduction varie selon les genres et les cultures, mais l'auteur suggère que la séduction peut être un jeu équitable entre hommes et femmes, chacun cherchant à se faire valoir.
- 🇮🇱🇧🇷🇩🇴 D'autres cultures, en plus de la Cuba, comme le Brésil, le Dominique et Israël, sont reconnues pour leur compréhension et leur utilisation de la séduction.
- 🔥 La séduction nécessite un désir authentique, une confiance en soi, une langue corporelle assertive et l'activation d'une attirance pour susciter une réponse émotionnelle chez l'autre.
- 👯♀️👯♂️ Les Cubains interagissent dans la rue comme s'ils jouent un jeu de rumba, entretenant une tension sexy et jouant avec l'idée du 'peut-être'.
- 🌟 La confiance en soi est essentielle à la séduction, et les Cubains cultivent cette confiance dès l'enfance, sans influence des médias ou de l'advertising.
- 🗣️ La langue corporelle est un élément clé de la séduction, communiquant clairement ce que l'on désire et établissant une connexion avec l'autre.
- ❤️ La séduction est une compétence qui peut être appris et maîtrisée, et qui peut mener à une vie plus réussie et à une meilleure confiance en soi.
Q & A
Quel est le sujet principal du discours de Chen Lizra ?
-Le sujet principal est la séduction, non pas seulement dans le contexte de la danse, mais aussi comment elle peut être appliquée de manière pratique dans la vie quotidienne.
Pourquoi Chen Lizra est-elle fascinée par la séduction ?
-Elle est fascinée par la séduction car elle le considère comme une compétence ludique et amusante qui peut être utilisée pour augmenter le succès dans la vie.
Quels sont les préjugés communs concernant la séduction que Chen Lizra mentionne-t-elle ?
-Elle mentionne que la séduction est souvent sexualisée de manière négative, associée à une forme moins honnête ou acceptable d'influence, et que les rôles de genre limitent davantage les femmes dans l'expression de la séduction.
Comment Chen Lizra définit-elle la séduction ?
-Elle définit la séduction comme un ensemble de compétences positives telles que le charme, la connexion, la vulnérabilité, la fierté, la confiance en soi et l'attrait.
Quelle est l'importance de la vie cubaine dans la compréhension de Chen Lizra de la séduction ?
-La vie cubaine a été un laboratoire de séduction pour elle, où elle a observé comment les Cubains utilisent la séduction dans leur culture et comment ils y sont conscients.
Quels sont les éléments clés de la séduction que Chen Lizra identifie-t-elle dans son discours ?
-Elle identifie les éléments clés de la séduction comme étant le désir, la confiance en soi, la langue corporelle et l'excitation.
Pourquoi est-il important de savoir ce que l'on veut selon Chen Lizra ?
-Savoir ce que l'on veut est important car cela permet d'avoir une désir véritable qui peut être suscitée et de présenter des possibilités potentielles.
Comment la confiance en soi est-elle formée chez les Cubains selon Chen Lizra ?
-La confiance en soi chez les Cubains est formée dès un jeune âge par le biais des compliments et de l'encouragement à se sentir confiant et magnifique dans leur propre corps.
Quel est le rôle de la langue corporelle dans la séduction ?
-La langue corporelle joue un rôle crucial dans la séduction car elle communique visuellement ce que l'on désire et aide à établir une connexion avec l'autre personne.
Pourquoi la capacité de ne pas craindre l'échec est-elle importante dans la séduction ?
-La capacité de ne pas craindre l'échec est importante car elle permet à une personne de continuer à susciter le désir de l'autre, même après un refus initial, et de développer son intuition pour distinguer un 'non' définitif d'un 'non' qui signifie 'peut-être'.
Quelle est la conclusion de Chen Lizra sur la séduction ?
-Chen Lizra conclut que la maîtrise de la séduction peut mener à une vie plus réussie et qu'elle espère que les gens verront en elle une compétence de vie précieuse.
Outlines
💃 Introduction à la séduction
Chen Lizra commence par une danse séduisante pour captiver le public et introduire le thème de la séduction. Elle partage son intérêt pour la séduction non seulement dans la danse mais aussi comme une compétence pratique dans la vie quotidienne. Depuis 2005, elle se rend régulièrement à Cuba pour apprendre de grands danseurs, et au fil du temps, elle a développé une fascination pour la séduction en tant qu'outil puissant. Contrairement aux perceptions négatives souvent associées à la séduction, elle soutient qu'il s'agit d'une force neutre, tout comme l'argent ou le pouvoir, et que son impact dépend de la façon dont elle est utilisée. Elle propose une approche de la séduction ancrée dans l'intégrité et la loyauté.
🔥 Les éléments de la séduction : désir, confiance, langage corporel et excitation
Lizra présente les quatre principaux éléments de la séduction : 1) le désir, qui consiste à savoir ce que l'on veut et à y aspirer avec passion ; 2) la confiance, indispensable pour aller vers ses objectifs ; 3) le langage corporel, qui permet de communiquer ses intentions ; et 4) l'excitation, qui réveille le désir chez l'autre. En prenant l'exemple de la rumba cubaine, elle illustre la manière dont hommes et femmes utilisent leurs corps pour jouer un jeu de séduction. Elle souligne l'importance de maintenir une tension émotionnelle et d'apprendre à reconnaître les signaux corporels pour influencer subtilement les émotions d'autrui.
💪 L'audace et la persévérance dans l'art de la séduction
Lizra explore la manière dont les hommes cubains approchent la séduction avec une détermination sans peur de l'échec ou du rejet. Cette persévérance, couplée à une intuition développée, leur permet de comprendre quand un 'non' est en réalité un 'peut-être'. Elle affirme que la séduction peut être apprise et maîtrisée par tout le monde, mais qu'il faut du temps pour en faire une expression authentique de soi. En fin de compte, elle défend la séduction comme une compétence de vie précieuse qui mène à la confiance en soi et, finalement, au succès dans tous les domaines de la vie.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Séduction
💡Désir
💡Confiance en soi
💡Langage corporel
💡Arousal
💡Culture cubaine
💡Rumba
💡Perception de la séduction
💡Jeu de séduction
💡Art de la séduction
Highlights
Chen Lizra introduces herself as a dancer, author, and entrepreneur.
She uses a dance to demonstrate the concept of seduction.
Seduction is presented as a valuable life skill, not just a dance.
Chen has been traveling to Cuba since 2005 to train with professional dancers.
Seduction is often misunderstood and sexualized.
Seduction is not inherently negative; it's about influence and power.
Everyone has the potential to seduce, but it needs to be unleashed.
Seduction should be developed from a young age for life success.
Cuba is described as a 'seduction laboratory' for its cultural understanding of seduction.
Seduction is a combination of charm, connection, vulnerability, pride, self-confidence, and appeal.
In Cuba, rumba represents the game of seduction between men and women.
Desire is the first element of seduction, knowing what you want and pursuing it.
Confidence is essential for seduction and is cultivated from a young age in Cuba.
Cuban children grow up with a strong self-image, unaffected by media distortions.
Body language is openly expressive on the streets of Cuba, facilitating seduction.
Arousal is the activation of desire to give someone what they want.
Fearlessness in the face of rejection is a key aspect of Cuban seduction.
Seduction is an art that can be taught and mastered.
Seduction leads to self-confidence, which in turn leads to success in all areas of life.
Chen concludes by encouraging the audience to see seduction as a valuable life skill.
Transcripts
Transcriber: Robert Tucker Reviewer: Ariana Bleau Lugo
(Latin American Music)
(Applause) (Music)
(Music)
Man: I'm just going to be in the green room in the back
if you really want to talk about some, after you're done.
Chen Lizra: Just give me the clicker.
Man: OK. Got your clicker here.
Thank you.
Whoo!
Man: Really?
CL: I guess you don't need coffee now, do you?
Man: Well, right.
CL: My name is Chen Lizra.
I'm a dancer, author and an entrepreneur.
I started my talk with a seductive dance
because I want you to first feel the seduction,
to get you -- kind of -- to gut level.
I'm fascinated with seduction, but not just with the dance and the movements,
but also with how you can bring it in a practical way into day-to-day life.
Since 2005, I've been travelling back and forth to Cuba
in order to train with the best professional dancers.
This is when I first started seeing seduction as a valuable life skill.
I'm so fascinated with seduction,
but mostly because it's such a playful fun thing.
I truly believe that everyone has the power to seduce in them,
we just need to unleash it.
And I also believe that we need to develop this skill
from a very young age, so it can help us
become a lot more successful in life.
So let's examine seduction for a second,
and let's take a look at our perception of seduction,
what it all means.
When we first hear the word "seduction",
we have a lot of misconceptions.
The word has been sexualized so many times
that we can't even imagine it as a positive skillset.
We typically associate seduction with something negative,
because we consider it the less honest or acceptable form of influence.
People who are easily seduced
to some degree feel manipulated into the situation.
When we think of gender roles, it's not even a question
that men are permitted a lot more freedom than women to seduce.
And when we think of work and seduction,
we merely go to sleeping your way to the top and being unprofessional.
You know how people say, some people say that money's bad,
but the money itself is not bad, right?
It comes down to money gives you power,
and power can be used for good and for bad;
it comes down to who you are inside.
Seduction is exactly the same,
it comes down to your DNA and what you choose to do with it.
I choose to make seduction classy,
and to add to it my sense of loyalty and integrity.
Seduction is really about your untapped power
that you're not using, that you want to unleash.
Would we tell superman not to stop a bullet?
Or a doctor not to save a life?
But, of course, not.
Seduction is about charm, connection, vulnerability, pride,
self-confidence and appeal.
I'm one of those lucky ones, that gets to go to Cuba all the time.
And I've been observing this culture for a very long time,
seeing how aware they seem to be of their seductive powers.
You can say that in many ways,
Cuba has been like a seduction laboratory for me,
where I get to study seduction and understand how they use it better.
But it's not like Cubans are the only people in the world
that understand how to use seduction, right?
You can experience it in other countries in the world:
in Israel, in Brazil and the Dominicans and many other countries.
And yet in Cuba I found a combination of things,
a very unique combination of things,
that I haven't found yet anywhere else in the world,
and I'll speak about some of them today.
And you'll probably agree with me when I say
that the chances of finding this kind of seduction out in the open
in North America is pretty close to slim, right?
I truly believe that we can learn a valuable life lesson
from Cubans about life and seduction.
And having said that, if we were to try and take seduction
and break it into some kind of a formula, what would that look like?
One: desire -- start taking notes!
Desire means knowing what you want
and then having the willingness to go after it.
In Cuba, rumba is the game of seduction between the man and the woman.
The woman is the flirty hen and the guy is the seductive rooster.
The woman uses her body to seduce the men to say, "Want it? Come and get it."
The guy on the other hand will use his body
to demonstrate his masculinity.
He'll try to decoy her. Boom!
Launching an attack. (Laughter)
He's trying to pecker her and get her pregnant.
She'll notice the attack, she'll block it,
she'll mock him for not succeeding,
and she'll go, "Didn't make it. Try again."
Cubans interact on the streets everyday, as if they're playing the game of rumba.
They keep a tension, a sexy tension, always alive.
It's like, you could almost have it, but not.
But if you only tried, then maybe.
(Laughter)
Keeping the "maybe" alive is the skill of presenting potential possibilities
and then fuelling them with desire.
It's about learning where the emotional buttons are,
and then triggering them.
When there is real desire, even if it's hidden,
it's possible to lure it out.
But you really got to get what the other person is missing,
and then give it to them.
And when it's done right, it's virtually impossible to say "no" to.
Number two: confidence.
Strong self-confidence is essential for seduction;
without it you can't go after what you want.
Our self-image is formed at a very young age
and is deeply affected by our environment.
Cubans praise their kids from a very young age
to feel confident and stunning in their own bodies,
because they recognize this is a very valuable life skill.
You'll see them at the pool at the hotel, the music is like blasting,
they're grinding to the music, and the little ones
are grinding right beside them, and they'll turn to them and say,
"Que lindo!" or "Que linda eres!" -- "You're so beautiful!"
Add to this that in Cuba there is no advertising,
because it's a communist country,
so there's nothing that distorts the body image.
Cubans, not like us, are not affected
by the media to try and think that they need a perfect body.
Instead their self-image is formed out of how stunning
the environment makes them feel, and how much love they get at home.
As a result of all of this,
Cubans grow up feeling intense pride and self-confidence,
no matter what body type or shape they might have.
And it's this kind of self-confidence that leads later on
to how you present yourself in all areas of your life
and how you succeed.
Body language.
When you walk on the streets of Havana,
guys and girls check each other out, in the open, all the time.
They're not trying to hide it.
And guys call after women with "Linda!", "Preciosa!"
And women respond with how they hold their bodies,
and how they accentuate their curves when they walk,
because they know they're being noticed and admired,
and they like it.
It makes it really easy to seduce and be seduced,
because you know what the other person is feeling.
Seduction also shows up in the tone of your voice,
the kind of look you give, what you say and how you say it,
and at times, even adding a little touch.
Body language is very important for seduction
because it communicates to the other person
what you want.
Number four: arousal.
To effectively seduce someone
there has to be an activation of the arousal,
waking up in them the desire to give you what you want
and luring it out.
But first, you have to connect and interact with the other person,
if not, then how will you get to their heart?
And for seduction to really work,
you have to give it your undivided attention, in a moment.
One of the most charming things that I've noticed about Cuban men,
is how they to go after what they want completely fearless of the consequences
of getting hurt or getting rejected.
They will seduce a woman over and over, making her feel desired and special,
even after she said "no" a couple of times,
slowly sneaking into her heart and waking up that desire.
In a "no" there was a "maybe" turns into a "yes".
That's damn sexy.
This fearlessness of failure is a profoundly powerful capability
that I've noticed in some of the most seductive people
that I've ever met.
But they can do this
because they've developed their intuitions so much,
that they can easily distinguish between a "no" that means a "no",
and a "no" that means "maybe",
because the last thing you want to do is not accept a "no" that means a "no".
So what I really want you to get
is that everyone has the power to seduce in them.
The trick is to learn how to use it and when.
Seduction is a skill no matter how you look at it.
You can call it: wooing, persuading,
winning someone over, charming, it doesn't really matter.
But what it is, is really about using all of the elements
that I talked about here in the talk, which is one: desire, two: confidence,
three: body language, four: arousal,
to build the connection that gets you what you want.
It's also important to remember that seduction is not a science,
but an art, and that's the beauty of it, it comes from the heart.
And like any art, it can definitely be taught.
But to fully gain self-expression in it, you have to take the time to master it,
and make it your own.
My hope is that you will see seduction
as a valuable life skill, as I've learned to.
Because so many people lose that childlike attitude
as they grow into adulthood, and something's missing.
And wouldn't the world be a better place if we didn't.
I really believe that seduction leads to self-confidence,
and self-confidence leads to success in all areas of your life.
Master seduction and you can have anything that you want in life.
Anything.
I did get a TED Talk, didn't I?
(Laughter)
Thank you.
(Applause)
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