What to do when a girl looks or smiles at you

Alex Costa
16 Mar 202410:14

Summary

TLDRThis video script offers actionable advice for men on how to transform a chance encounter into a meaningful connection. It emphasizes the importance of reciprocating a woman's smile, reading her body language for signs of interest, and approaching with confidence. The script advises against overthinking and encourages being present and authentic in the interaction. It also introduces the concept of polarity to create attraction, suggesting that showing confidence and clear masculine traits can lead to a strong connection. The video concludes with tips on how to leave the interaction on a positive note, ensuring a memorable and potentially romantic outcome.

Takeaways

  • πŸ˜€ Reciprocating a smile is the first step to show genuine positivity and approachability.
  • πŸ‘€ Paying attention to her body language after the smile can indicate her interest level.
  • ⏰ Acting quickly after a smile is crucial, as hesitation can signal disinterest.
  • 😌 Leading with relaxed and positive energy is more effective than trying to appear overly confident or serious.
  • πŸ™…β€β™‚οΈ Avoiding overthinking and trying too hard can prevent coming off as insincere.
  • πŸ—£οΈ The way you communicate is more important than the words you use; be relaxed, playful, and authentic.
  • πŸ‘ Show confidence by approaching and initiating the conversation, which most men are hesitant to do.
  • πŸ’¬ Use open body language and a positive tone of voice to lay the foundation for a successful interaction.
  • 🌟 Creating polarity by showing your masculine side can spark attraction and prevent being friend-zoned.
  • πŸ€— Leaving the interaction on a positive note is important for creating a lasting good impression.

Q & A

  • What is the main issue discussed in the script?

    -The script primarily addresses the issue of missed opportunities in social interactions, specifically when a man encounters a woman he's interested in but hesitates to approach due to uncertainty or fear.

  • What are the six actionable steps mentioned in the script to turn a smile into something more?

    -The script outlines six steps: 1) Reciprocate the smile, 2) Observe her behavior for choosing signals, 3) Approach without panicking, 4) Open the conversation with a genuine compliment or question, 5) Maintain a relaxed and confident demeanor, and 6) Create polarity to spark attraction.

  • Why is it important to reciprocate the smile when a girl smiles at you?

    -Reciprocating the smile is crucial as it demonstrates that you are genuine, positive, and approachable, which can encourage further interaction.

  • What is a 'choosing signal' as described in the script?

    -A 'choosing signal' refers to subtle signs that a girl might display when she's interested, such as maintaining eye contact or open body language, indicating that she is open to being approached.

  • How does the script suggest handling the fear of approaching a girl who has shown interest?

    -The script advises counting down from three and then approaching the girl without overthinking, to avoid appearing unconfident or scared.

  • What role does body language play in the initial interaction according to the script?

    -Body language plays a significant role as it communicates 55% of nonverbal communication, setting the tone for the interaction and conveying confidence and interest.

  • Why is it recommended to avoid overthinking when approaching a girl?

    -Overthinking can lead to awkwardness and may prevent a natural, relaxed interaction. The script suggests being present and authentic to create a positive connection.

  • What is the concept of 'polarity' as discussed in the script?

    -Polarity refers to the dynamic where showing a confident masculine energy can cause a woman to embrace her feminine side, creating a magnetic attraction between the two.

  • How can one avoid getting 'friend-zoned' according to the script?

    -To avoid being friend-zoned, the script suggests creating polarity by showing confidence, flirting slightly to indicate interest, and being clear about intentions early in the conversation.

  • What should one do after getting a girl's number to leave on a positive note?

    -After getting a girl's number, it's important to say goodbye with a smile and indicate that you will be in touch, leaving her with a positive feeling and a good impression.

  • What is the significance of leaving an interaction on a positive note as mentioned in the script?

    -Leaving an interaction on a positive note is significant because it ensures that the girl remembers the interaction fondly, which can influence her perception of you and the potential for future encounters.

Outlines

00:00

πŸ˜„ Capturing Opportunities with Confidence

The paragraph emphasizes the importance of seizing the moment when a girl shows interest, such as smiling at you. It advises against hesitating due to nervousness, which can lead to missed opportunities. The speaker introduces six actionable steps to transform a smile into a meaningful connection. The key message is to lead with positive and relaxed energy, which is crucial for creating a good vibe during the interaction. It's highlighted that both parties can be nervous about rejection, so reciprocating the smile is the first step to show approachability and positivity. The speaker also stresses the importance of observing her body language and responding appropriately to ensure the interaction is welcome.

05:01

πŸ•’ Timing and Approach: Turning a Smile into a Connection

This section discusses the importance of acting promptly when a girl shows interest, as indicated by her maintaining eye contact and open body language. It advises against panicking and instead encourages a confident approach. The speaker clarifies that a girl's receptive behavior is a 'choosing signal,' inviting further interaction. The paragraph also addresses the common fear of rejection and the misconception that acting like an 'alpha male' is attractive. It suggests that being genuine, relaxed, and present in the moment is more appealing. The speaker recommends counting down from three as a technique to overcome hesitation and then approaching with a friendly demeanor to start a conversation.

10:01

πŸ—£οΈ The Art of Conversation: Attraction and Polarity

The paragraph delves into the art of conversation, focusing on how to maintain a relaxed and engaging dialogue without awkwardness. It suggests that the secret to being attractive lies not in what is said but in how it is conveyed. The speaker references a study that found the best interactions were not about specific words but the manner of communication, including being relaxed, playful, and authentic. The advice is to treat the girl like a friend, which helps in being present and non-judgmental. The speaker also shares a personal anecdote about overcoming shyness and the importance of body language and tone in communication. The concept of 'polarity' is introduced as a way to create attraction by showing a masculine side that complements the feminine energy, avoiding a 'friend zone' scenario.

πŸ“² Leaving a Lasting Impression: Graceful Departure and Future Engagement

The final paragraph focuses on the importance of leaving a positive impression at the end of the interaction. It advises against lingering, which can lead to awkwardness, and suggests a graceful departure with a smile and a promise to stay in touch. The speaker emphasizes the lasting impact of how one makes the other person feel, rather than what was said or done. The goal is to ensure the girl remembers the interaction fondly, which can lead to future engagement. The paragraph also includes a call to action for viewers to watch another video on red flags to avoid in social interactions and a prompt to subscribe for more content.

Mindmap

Keywords

πŸ’‘Choosing Signal

A 'choosing signal' refers to a subtle, non-verbal cue that indicates a person's interest or openness to interaction. In the context of the video, it is a sign that a girl is interested in engaging with the viewer. The script mentions that unless the girl switches and shuts it down, it's likely she's giving a choosing signal, which is a green light for the viewer to approach her.

πŸ’‘Reciprocate Smile

To 'reciprocate a smile' means to respond in kind to someone's smile, which is a universal sign of friendliness and approachability. The video emphasizes that the first step in turning a smile into something more is to return the girl's smile, showing that you are positive and open to interaction.

πŸ’‘Open Body Language

Open body language is a set of non-verbal cues that indicate a person is receptive and willing to engage in conversation. The script uses this concept to advise viewers to look for signs like maintained eye contact and open posture as indicators that the girl is interested in further interaction.

πŸ’‘Panic

In the video, 'panic' refers to the anxiety or fear that can prevent someone from taking action when a girl shows interest. The speaker advises against panicking and instead encourages viewers to act confidently when a girl gives a choosing signal.

πŸ’‘Approach Anxiety

'Approach anxiety' is the fear or nervousness that can arise when considering initiating a conversation with someone, especially someone of romantic interest. The video addresses this common issue and provides strategies to overcome it, such as counting down from three and then approaching the girl.

πŸ’‘Authenticity

Authenticity in the video is about being genuine and true to oneself when interacting with others. It's highlighted as a key trait that makes one attractive in social situations. The script suggests that being authentic, rather than trying too hard, is what makes interactions enjoyable and memorable.

πŸ’‘Non-Verbal Communication

Non-verbal communication encompasses body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice, which together convey more than half of the message in human interaction. The video emphasizes the importance of non-verbal cues, stating that they lay the foundation for how interactions will go and are crucial for creating a positive impression.

πŸ’‘Polarity

Polarity, as discussed in the video, refers to the dynamic between masculine and feminine energies that creates a magnetic pull of attraction. It is about showing one's masculine side to elicit a feminine response, which can prevent the interaction from becoming too friendly and help to spark romantic interest.

πŸ’‘Depolarization

Depolarization is the lack of clear masculine or feminine traits in an interaction, leading to both parties acting similarly, which can result in a lack of attraction or being 'friend-zoned'. The video advises against depolarization by encouraging viewers to exhibit confident, masculine energy to create polarity and attraction.

πŸ’‘Graceful Exit

A 'graceful exit' is the act of ending an interaction in a polite and positive manner. The video suggests that after getting to know the girl and potentially exchanging contact information, it's important to leave the interaction on a high note to ensure a positive memory and avoid awkwardness.

Highlights

The importance of reacting positively to a girl's smile to not miss opportunities.

Leading with positive and relaxed energy is crucial for a good first impression.

Reciprocating a smile is the quickest way to show genuine positivity and approachability.

Observing her behavior after smiling can indicate her interest level.

The urgency of acting after a smile without panicking is emphasized.

The concept of 'choosing signals' and how they indicate a girl's interest.

The advice to avoid overthinking and just approach with confidence.

The secret to attraction is not just what you say but how you say it.

Being relaxed, playful, and authentic in interactions is more attractive than trying too hard.

The significance of nonverbal communication in human interaction.

The impact of body language, tone, and conviction on the success of an interaction.

The importance of avoiding awkwardness and maintaining a positive tone throughout the conversation.

The concept of polarity in attraction and how to create it.

Showing confidence and clear masculine energy to avoid the 'friend zone'.

Making it clear that you find her attractive in a respectful way.

The advice on how to ask for her number or social media to continue the interaction.

Leaving the interaction gracefully to leave a positive impression.

The importance of leaving on a positive note to be remembered fondly.

Transcripts

play00:00

okay picture this you're at your local

play00:02

grocery store running errands you head

play00:03

over to pay at the register and while

play00:05

you're waiting in line you casually scan

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the place there she is a cute girl just

play00:10

your type locks eyes with you and to

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your surprise she smiles maybe she's

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into you but instead of stepping up you

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hesitate you don't know what to do or

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say so she goes about her day and you

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missed your shot it honestly amazes me

play00:25

how many opportunities are lost because

play00:27

guys don't know how to react in those

play00:28

situations once realize how easy it is

play00:31

to turn that smile into something more

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you probably laugh at your old self and

play00:35

how nervous you got for no reason so

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let's tackle this by the end of this

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video I want to give you six actionable

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steps that will turn her smile into

play00:43

something more because the last thing I

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want for you is to wonder what if what

play00:47

if I smiled back what if I had the

play00:49

courage to approach her so many guys

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think that acting like some cold alpha

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male makes them look cool and it's what

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girls want and no that is not the

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approach that you should take first impr

play01:00

questions aren't only about what you say

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or see but what you feel you want her to

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feel good energy a good vibe when she's

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talking to you this is why it's so

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important to lead with positive and

play01:09

relaxed energy from the beginning

play01:11

something that guys forget is that girls

play01:13

are just as nervous about rejection and

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interaction with a new person as you are

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so when that cute girl smiles at you

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loosen up man ditch the weird overly

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serious look give her a soft smile or a

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SM back and see how she responds this

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shows that you're friendly and open

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that's why step number one is to

play01:28

reciprocate her smile it's the the

play01:30

quickest way to show her that you're

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genuine positive and approachable but

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there's more after the smile pay

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attention to her behavior because it's

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the next reaction that counts does she

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immediately look away and then break

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that eye contact or does she maintain an

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open body language Because unless she

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switches and shuts it down it's likely

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she's just giving you what we call a

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choosing signal this is something really

play01:50

important that will stop you from ever

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looking like a creep which I'll explain

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in detail in step three okay so you've

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caught eyes and she's still smiling what

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now this is when you start to feel the

play02:00

clock's ticking right you know you need

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to act immediately you need to do

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something but one thing that you can't

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do is panic you see when a girl gives

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you a choosing signal it's a subtle sign

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only made when she's interested she

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wants you to approach her you know when

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you see those cringe videos of guys

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getting brutally rejected in public most

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of the time it's because they approached

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without getting any signal from the girl

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they approached too quickly and it comes

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off as aggressive and look I understand

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how scary going up to her can be but the

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fact that she's already receptive is a

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great start those videos definitely

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don't help in easing that tension but

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sorry I have to say the worst thing that

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you can do right now is stall avoid

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making her assume that you're another

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unconfident guy who thinks that she's

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cute but it's too scared to go up to her

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you need to stand out you need to leave

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a good impression so here's the key step

play02:45

in your head count down from three and

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as soon as you hit zero ignore

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everything no matter what stride over

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there and break the ice now I know this

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is probably the hardest part once you

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approach you need to say something to

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open the conversation what do you say

play03:00

and there's no one siiz fits all answer

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there's no magic pill but what if I told

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you that the secret to being

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irresistibly attractive isn't what you

play03:07

need to do but what you need to stop

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doing because you see back in 2015

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Australian psychologists ran a speed

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dating experiment and discovered

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something surprising about attractive

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masculine traits after receiving a

play03:20

choosing signal most men try and respond

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in the perfect way they try to act

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perfect which leads them to overthink

play03:27

and do too much when they're interacting

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with women they're trying too hard and

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can you guess the common trait that

play03:32

these psychologists found in the best

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interactions they saw in all of this

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experiment maybe a specific opener a

play03:38

phrase a certain topic it's actually

play03:41

none of those it's a lot more simple

play03:43

than you would believe the best

play03:45

interactions came down to not what words

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were being said but rather how they were

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being said think about the way you act

play03:51

around your friends the way you're

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hanging out with them you're

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communicating with them having a good

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time you're probably relaxed you're

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probably playful you're authentic A

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little vulnerable sometimes well that's

play04:01

the secret these traits allow us to be

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truly present and feel connected loosen

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up stop trying so hard don't put the

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girl in the pedestal she's a normal

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human being who you can treat just like

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a friend so after counting down from

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three and walking over just like you

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would with a friend you haven't seen in

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a while open with a genuine compliment a

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relevant question about your environment

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maybe something around you or a joke to

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be honest what you say doesn't even

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matter the point is just show that

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you're relaxed show that you're fully

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present show you're a non-judgmental guy

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and when mixed with confidence girls

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find find this incredibly attractive

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then all you have to do is keep the

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conversation going without making things

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awkward you know I remember when I was

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younger and I moved to the US from

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Brazil and I was pretty introverted I

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was really shy and in the rare moments

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that I would get noticed when I wasn't

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invisible to a good-looking girl I would

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still hesitate to talk to them I was

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scared I thought I'm probably not cool

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enough she's going to judge my accent

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you know my English is not really good

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and as a result anytime I try to talk to

play04:56

girls I just felt awkward like I got

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awkward and obviously ly it went nowhere

play05:00

I had no game I had no game I was

play05:02

overthinking everything and those

play05:03

failures made me more and more scared of

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talking to girls it made it worse but

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one day everything changed I learned

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that it's all about the mirror the

play05:14

energy that I projected was usually the

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energy that the girl reflected if I had

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negative thoughts and I tried

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approaching girls the conversation would

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turn out low energy boring because I was

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scared I had no confidence and she could

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pick up on those skes but if I was

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having a good day if I woke up feeling

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good I went to the gym I was hanging out

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and having fun with my friends during

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the day then I saw a beautiful girl that

play05:34

same interaction would be upbeat and fun

play05:37

and carefree and relaxed so I have a

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secret to tell you after introducing

play05:41

yourself to the cute girl remember human

play05:44

communication is 55% nonverbal 38% tonal

play05:49

and only 7% verbal your body language I

play05:53

contact and even the conviction in your

play05:55

voice lay the foundations for how your

play05:58

interactions will go perfect words don't

play06:00

mean anything if your confidence and

play06:02

your internal beliefs don't actually

play06:04

match it's like going up with a girl

play06:06

with the perfect funny pickup line right

play06:09

it's like you've been practicing this

play06:10

pickup line you read about it somewhere

play06:12

it looks really good it sounds great but

play06:14

then when you deliver it you deliver it

play06:16

in a monotone boring voice your facial

play06:19

expression doesn't change the girl who

play06:21

initially smiled at you will pick up on

play06:24

those SKS and it's going to make things

play06:25

awkward she's going to think this is an

play06:27

awkward guy that was that supposed to be

play06:29

funny I'm not really sure what's

play06:30

happening here overthinking will 100%

play06:32

mess up your delivery because you're

play06:34

nervous and it's going to show up

play06:35

externally through your posture your

play06:37

stutters or any other non-verbal cues so

play06:40

remember to avoid looking weird or not

play06:42

confident don't be too hard on yourself

play06:44

before during or after the interaction

play06:47

this isn't a test think of it as a fun

play06:49

opportunity to have a chat to connect to

play06:51

learn and to improve your skills of

play06:53

talking to girls but look of course as

play06:56

fun as connecting and talking and

play06:57

practicing can be let's be real you're

play07:00

probably hoping to take this to the next

play07:02

stage so how do we make sure that we

play07:03

spark that attraction and stay away from

play07:05

getting friend zoned which might be the

play07:07

worst case scenario well you're almost

play07:09

there you noticed her choosing signals

play07:10

you approached her you're now fully

play07:12

present you're having a nice relaxed

play07:14

conversation without feeling anxious

play07:15

without feeling scared the next big step

play07:17

how do you spark genuine attraction and

play07:20

funny enough I learned this from Tony

play07:21

Robbins from from all people so it's

play07:23

about to get deep it's called polarity

play07:25

and it happens when you show your

play07:26

masculine side which causes her to

play07:29

embrace her famine sign this polarity

play07:31

creates a magnetic pull of Attraction

play07:33

it's what you feel when you're around

play07:34

someone who perfectly complements your

play07:36

personality being unable to predict how

play07:38

they will respond keeps you slightly on

play07:40

edge and the interaction just becomes

play07:42

more mysterious becomes more exciting

play07:44

becomes more fun this polarity is like a

play07:47

dance between the masculine and The

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Feminine it's the pull that you feel in

play07:50

a great conversation she might make you

play07:52

laugh or your reserved and stoic

play07:55

character attracts her in you're both

play07:57

polarized by each other but on the flip

play07:59

side we have depolarization which

play08:01

happens when neither of you embody any

play08:04

clear masculine or feminine traits so

play08:06

you both act similar to one another and

play08:08

it's not necessarily a deal breaker but

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if you don't want that spark to fizzle

play08:12

out if you don't want to end up in the

play08:13

friend zone you have to avoid this

play08:15

here's how to create this polarity first

play08:18

you need to show confidence simply

play08:20

approaching and initiating the

play08:21

conversation you've already done this

play08:23

most girls respect a man who is secure

play08:25

enough to approach them and to take that

play08:26

risk right because the majority of guys

play08:28

don't they don't have the courage to go

play08:29

and talk to them so when you've counted

play08:31

down from 3 to zero then you approach

play08:33

you're ahead so let's get going second

play08:35

at some point early in the conversation

play08:37

make it clear that you find her

play08:39

attractive if you're interested you have

play08:41

to make it clear and you can do that by

play08:43

flirting with her slightly nothing

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aggressive for example you can say

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something like stylish girl shopping for

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dinner ingredients so you're probably a

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good cook it seems too good to be true

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what's the catch immediately she knows

play08:54

that you're interested in being more

play08:55

than friends but you did it in a nice

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respectful way and third if she

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continues to be receptive with that

play09:00

relaxed and positive energy ask her out

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get her number get her IG say something

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like Emily you're cute you seem cool I

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know you have to get going here but how

play09:09

about we grab drinks for dinner what's

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your number these three techniques will

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create that polarity and let you

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immediately know if she's interested or

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not overall when you showcase your

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confident masculine energy which is

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being clear on your intentions taking

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action not being afraid to lead and

play09:23

remaining present you're going to

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attract girls who have that feminine

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energy the difference between getting

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stuck in the friends Zone and having

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strong chemistry is immediately creating

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this polarity as soon as you meet and

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just like that you finally get her

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number but there's one last hurdle you

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have to leave with Grace without making

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it awkward no matter what you do don't

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linger a lot of guys linger around and

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then it gets awkward say goodbye smile

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tell her you're going to send her a text

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psychologists have found that people

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strongly remember how you made them feel

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over what you've said looked or even

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sounded like so it's really important at

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the end of that interaction to leave on

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a positive note basically the goal here

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is to leave her with a smile so when she

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thinks of you or when she tells her

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friends about you she remembers that

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feeling she remembers that smile but

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make sure to watch out for red flags I

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listed a bunch of these red flags that

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you should stay away from in this video

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right here and of course don't forget to

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subscribe I'll see you in the next video

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