How to be miserable for the rest of your life

Summary

This humorous tutorial outlines steps to ensure a lifetime of misery, including waking up late, neglecting personal hygiene, living in disarray, procrastinating, and avoiding opportunities. It advises being passive, saying 'no' to social engagements, distrusting others, and focusing on the negative. The script humorously suggests indulging in fear and comfort zones, and harboring a sense of entitlement, all while daydreaming about an ideal life to maintain a constant state of dissatisfaction.

Takeaways

• 🛏️ 'Wake up late' to start your day feeling rushed and unprepared.
• 👕 'Avoid self-care' like making your bed or showering to lower your self-respect.
• 🏠 'Keep a messy house' to subconsciously reinforce your disorganization.
• 📅 'Procrastinate' on tasks to always delegate problems to your future self.
• 💻 'Pretend to be busy' by opening work-related apps while actually scrolling through social media.
• 🚪 'Wait for opportunities' instead of actively seeking them out.
• 🙅‍♂️ 'Say no by default' to opportunities and social invitations.
• 🕵️‍♂️ 'Be suspicious of others' and assume the worst about their intentions.
• 🔄 'Never work on self-improvement' and accept your flaws as unchangeable.
• 🌪️ 'Focus on what you can't control' like external events and other people's actions.
• 🔒 'Use fear as your main motivator' and set strict deadlines that cause anxiety.
• 🛋️ 'Only do what's comfortable' and avoid any activities that might push you out of your comfort zone.
• 👑 'Believe you're special' and entitled, which can lead to resentment and isolation.
• 🌈 'Fantasize about an ideal life' instead of working on improving your current situation.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the tutorial presented in the script?

The main theme of the tutorial is a satirical guide on how to be miserable for the rest of your life by following a series of counterproductive and self-sabotaging steps.

What is the first step suggested in the tutorial for ensuring misery?

The first step is to wake up whenever you want to, ensuring you start your day late and miss out on the opportunity to start fresh.

How does the tutorial suggest maintaining a messy house contributes to a miserable life?

A messy house is suggested to subconsciously reinforce the idea that you are disorganized and that your life is not in order, which is important for remaining miserable.

What is the role of procrastination in the tutorial's plan for a miserable life?

Procrastination is encouraged as a way to delegate life's problems to a future version of yourself, avoiding immediate action and ensuring ongoing misery.

How does the tutorial advise creating the illusion of productivity without actually being productive?

The tutorial suggests opening a Word document and giving it a title to feel productive, then immediately getting distracted by social media to trick your conscience into thinking you're working.

What is the advice given regarding seizing opportunities in the script?

The advice is to never be proactive in finding new opportunities for career growth or meeting new people; instead, wait passively for opportunities to come to you.

How does the tutorial recommend responding to social invitations to ensure misery?

The tutorial recommends always saying no to social invitations to give the impression that you are too busy and should be left alone, leading to isolation.

What is the tutorial's stance on trusting others and its impact on misery?

The tutorial advises being suspicious of people and never giving them the benefit of the doubt, which can lead to emotional guarding and a lack of trust, contributing to misery.

How does the tutorial suggest one should approach self-improvement to maintain a miserable life?

The tutorial advises never fixing the things you dislike about yourself, continuing activities that make you feel bad, and not attempting to overcome obstacles or better yourself.

What is the tutorial's advice on dealing with things outside of your control?

The tutorial suggests focusing on things you can't control, like traffic or government, and getting angry about them to reinforce a sense of helplessness and powerlessness.

How does the tutorial recommend using fear to stay miserable?

The tutorial advises using fear of negative consequences as the primary motivator, setting frightening deadlines, and punishing yourself for not meeting them to maintain a state of stress and anxiety.

What is the final step outlined in the tutorial for ensuring a lifetime of misery?

The final step is to daydream and fantasize about a better life, comparing it to your current reality, and becoming resentful, thus avoiding dealing with your actual problems.

Outlines

00:00

😔 Steps to a Miserable Life

The paragraph humorously outlines a guide to ensuring a miserable life. It suggests waking up late, maintaining a messy house, procrastinating, pretending to be busy, waiting for opportunities to come rather than seeking them, refusing invitations and opportunities, being suspicious of others, not working on self-improvement, focusing on things beyond control, using fear as a motivator, staying within one's comfort zone, believing oneself to be special, and daydreaming about a better life instead of dealing with reality.

05:01

🎧 Sponsored Content: Audible and 'Greenlights'

The second paragraph shifts from the previous tone to a sponsored message about Audible, promoting the audiobook 'Greenlights' by Matthew McConaughey. It discusses the benefits of Audible Plus, which offers access to a wide range of spoken word entertainment and audiobooks. The narrator shares their personal enjoyment of the book, particularly the audio version narrated by McConaughey himself, and provides details on how to sign up for a free 30-day trial of Audible Plus.

Keywords

💡Miserable

Miserable refers to a state of being unhappy, uncomfortable, or in pain, both physically and emotionally. In the context of the video, the term is used to illustrate the negative outcomes of following certain behaviors and attitudes. The video humorously provides 'steps' to ensure a miserable life, such as waking up late and maintaining a messy environment, which are all counterproductive to personal well-being and success.

💡Procrastination

Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing tasks or actions. The video mentions it as a key step to remain miserable, suggesting that ignoring the urge to be productive and instead putting off tasks until later can lead to increased stress and a sense of failure. It is exemplified by the advice to ignore the feeling to clean a messy kitchen, thereby promoting a cycle of inaction.

💡Disorganization

Disorganization denotes a lack of order or system. The video script uses this term to describe a house filled with clutter and chaos, which not only makes it hard to use the space for its intended purposes but also subconsciously reinforces a belief in the individual's inability to manage their life effectively.

💡Productivity

Productivity refers to the efficiency of an individual or system in producing desired outcomes. The video humorously critiques the illusion of productivity by suggesting that merely opening a Word document and then browsing social media can trick one's conscience into thinking they are working. This highlights the contrast between appearing busy and actually accomplishing tasks.

💡Opportunities

Opportunities are chances or situations that allow for progress or success. The video advises against being proactive in seeking out new opportunities, suggesting a passive approach where one waits for success to come knocking. This is presented as a strategy for maintaining a miserable state by not taking control of one's life or career.

💡Comfort Zone

A comfort zone is a state of mental or emotional comfort where an individual feels safe and at ease. The video encourages staying within this zone, advising against stepping out of familiar and easy activities. This is portrayed as a way to avoid personal growth and new experiences, which are essential for a fulfilling life.

💡Fear

Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat or danger. The video suggests using fear as a primary motivator, setting deadlines that induce anxiety and punishing oneself for not meeting them. This approach is criticized as it can lead to a constant state of stress and a negative self-image, which are detrimental to happiness and well-being.

💡Entitlement

Entitlement is a feeling of deserving privileges or special treatment. The video describes a mindset where one believes they are owed things due to a sense of being special or unique. This attitude is depicted as a barrier to forming meaningful relationships and understanding others' perspectives, contributing to a sense of isolation and discontent.

💡Disrespect

Disrespect is a lack of regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others. In the video, starting the day without self-respect, such as not making the bed or showering, is presented as a way to lower one's self-esteem and contribute to a miserable existence. It sets a tone of self-neglect that can influence one's overall attitude and interactions.

💡External Locus of Control

An external locus of control is a psychological concept where individuals believe that factors outside of themselves, such as fate, luck, or powerful others, control the outcomes in their lives. The video encourages focusing on things one cannot control, like traffic or the government, which can lead to a sense of powerlessness and frustration, reinforcing a miserable state of mind.

💡Daydreaming

Daydreaming is the act of allowing one's mind to wander from reality and indulge in fantasies. The video suggests using daydreaming as a means of escape from real-life problems, which can lead to a disconnection from reality and a constant state of dissatisfaction with one's current situation. It is presented as a way to avoid addressing actual issues and improving one's life.

Highlights

Wake up late to start your day feeling disoriented and behind.

Skip morning routines like making your bed and showering to maintain low self-respect.

Keep your house in disarray to reinforce feelings of disorganization.

Procrastinate on tasks to delegate problems to your future self.

Appear busy by opening a Word document but then distract yourself on social media.

Passively wait for opportunities instead of actively seeking them out.

Default to saying no to invitations and opportunities to keep others at bay.

Be suspicious of people to protect yourself emotionally but isolate yourself.

Avoid self-improvement by not addressing your dislikes or vices.

Focus on things outside of your control to cultivate a sense of powerlessness.

Use fear as your primary motivator to drive your actions.

Only engage in comfortable activities to avoid personal growth.

Believe you're special and entitled, fostering an outsider complex.

Fantasize about an ideal life to distract from your current reality.

The video is sponsored by Audible, promoting Matthew McConaughey's audiobook 'Greenlights'.

Audible Plus offers a vast catalog of audiobooks, originals, and podcasts.

Audible allows you to keep your library even if you cancel your membership.

Encourages viewers to sign up for a free 30-day trial of Audible Plus.

Transcripts

- [Narrator] Here's a quick tutorial

on how to be miserable for the rest of your life.

Step one, wake up whenever you want to.

Don't wake up at a reasonable hour,

an hour that makes you feel good about yourself.

Make sure you wake up

when everyone has had a head start to the day.

You really wanna make sure

you feel like you've missed any chance

to start your day off on the right foot.

And when you get out of bed,

don't make your bed and don't shower.

Just wear whatever you wore yesterday and head downstairs.

It's important that you start the day off

with little to no self-respect,

feeling as grimy as possible.

Step two, make sure your house

is always a complete disaster.

Your house is filled with many rooms,

each with a specific purpose.

You wanna make sure that it's extremely difficult

to accomplish those purposes.

The pigsty will also help subconsciously reinforce the idea

that you're a disorganized person

whose life is not in order.

This is an extremely important belief to have

when trying to remain miserable.

Step three, procrastinate.

When the thought dawns on you to do something productive,

like clean your disgusting kitchen,

just ignore that feeling.

After all you just woke up,

and you have so much time later in the day to get that done.

You wanna get in the habit

of delegating all your life's problems

to the future version of yourself,

who will probably have a lot more motivation

and energy than you do right now.

Step four, look busy.

After you sit down to do some work, open up a Word document

to help yourself feel like you're being productive.

Give your document a nice title

and then immediately open up Reddit,

Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter

just to check if you missed anything.

You see, it doesn't really matter what you do.

As long as you're sitting on your desk

and that Word document is open,

it'll help trick your conscience

into thinking you're doing work,

but you won't be getting any further in life.

Step five, wait for opportunities.

Never be proactive with finding new opportunities

to grow your career or meet new people.

Wait for all of that to come knocking on your door.

After all, if it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen.

You'll meet the girl of your dreams one day

and things will kinda just work out.

You'll probably also land your dream job

if you just wait long enough.

Anyways, the important thing is to not take action.

Don't try to figure out the most effective way

to get what you want, just wait until things work out.

Step six, be default no.

When a friend asks you to go out for a drink, just say no.

After all, you're super busy these days

and have a lot of work to do.

When your boss gives you the opportunity

to lead a meeting at work,

try to find an excuse to slink out of it.

The key here is to give everyone the impression

that they should just let you do your own thing.

Be so good at saying no

that people just stop asking you to do anything.

Step seven, be suspicious of people.

Never give people the benefit of the doubt.

Believe that everyone

basically just wants to take advantage of you,

and because of this, you should be guarded

and put up walls to protect yourself emotionally.

Assume the smiles people give you are fake

and that their motives are malevolent.

Step eight, never fix the things you dislike about yourself.

Continue to engage in activities

that make feel subhuman and weak.

Never prove to yourself

that you can overcome obstacles or better yourself.

Never attempt to transcend your vices

or change your lifestyle for the better.

Subscribe to the idea that people can't change,

so you shouldn't try.

Step nine, focus on things you can't control.

As often as possible, get pissed off at the traffic,

the government, the pandemic.

You really wanna reinforce the idea

that the world is messed up

and there's nothing you can do about it.

Focus on the shortcomings of others,

the failings of your country, and the state of the economy.

Maintain a constant external locus of control

over all the events in your life.

This will really help you feel powerless.

And if you're trying to be miserable, that's perfect.

Step 10, use fear as motivation.

Make the fear of negative consequence

your primary motivator for everything you do.

Set up deadlines that frighten you

and punish yourself for failing to meet them.

Use white-knuckle tactics

to force yourself into productivity

and remind yourself constantly

that your entire life could fall apart

if you don't keep your head above water.

Step 11, only do what is comfortable.

Let your comfort zone be the authority

on what you do and don't do.

If it's not comfortable, don't do it.

Avoid discomfort at all costs

and participate only in activities

that are familiar and effortless.

Don't concern yourself with gaining

fresh perspectives or novel experiences.

Stay in your lane. Operate in your wheelhouse.

Step 12, believe you're special.

Behave like you're entitled to things

on the basis that you're just different than everyone else.

Assume that the people that have what you want in life

just don't deserve it as much as you do.

Always regard yourself as talented,

unique, one of a kind.

This will really help you develop an outsider complex,

which will make it difficult to open up to other people

or see things from their perspective.

But since you don't wanna do

any of that uncomfortable stuff anyways, that's perfect.

Step 13, see life not as it is,

but how you wish it to be.

Daydream of a day where things are better,

fantasize about a life where all your problems are gone.

You wanna make sure you mentally escape as much as possible

to distract you from the obstacles in front of you.

Pour your mental energy

not into fixing your problems or improving yourself,

but into building up this fantasy

to be as detailed as possible.

Reflect daily about what you would buy

if you won the lottery or became a celebrity.

Constantly compare your life to this fiction

and become resentful at the juxtaposition.

So if suffering is what you're after

and you crave the daily strife,

then you're in luck because if you follow this advice,

you'll be miserable for the rest of your life.

This video was sponsored by Audible.

The audio book I'm currently diving into

is "Greenlights" by Matthew McConaughey.

It's been on Amazon's bestseller list

for 23 straight weeks now,

and I wanted to see what the hype was about.

And sure enough, I'm really enjoying it so far.

I think the Audible version is especially enjoyable

because it's narrated by McConaughey himself,

which really helps his lessons

and tales resonate with the reader.

It really feels like you're getting to know

Matthew McConaughey personally,

and he just seems like a cool guy to know.

For those of you who don't know,

Audible is the leading provider

of spoken word entertainment and audio books

ranging from bestsellers to celebrity memoirs,

motivation, productivity, and so much more

like original entertainment and even podcasts.

Audible recently launched their newest plan, Audible Plus,

and with Audible Plus you get access

to their entire Plus catalog,

which is filled with thousands and thousands

of select originals, audio books, and podcasts,

including ad-free versions of popular shows

as well as exclusive series.

One of my favorite things about Audible

is that if you decide to cancel your membership

for whatever reason at any point,

you still keep your entire library of audio books,

including the audio books that you got for free

using their credit system, so it's kinda a no-brainer.

So to sign up for your free 30-day trial,

click the link in the description below,

visit audible.com/betterideas,

or text betterideas to 500-500.

Once again, to sign up for your free 30-day trial,

click the link in the description below,

visit audible.com/betterideas,

or text betterideas to 500-500.

(gentle music)