Ara In Position To Transition

Summary

In this insightful interview, Aura, a trans woman, shares her journey of self-discovery and acceptance. Identifying as trans at 15 and coming out at 17, she discusses her experiences with gender dysphoria and the significance of her chosen name, 'Ara.' Aura candidly talks about her family's reaction to her identity, her decision to medically transition, and the importance of individual pacing in the trans experience. She emphasizes the diversity within the trans community, highlighting that each person's journey is unique and personal.

Takeaways

• 🌈 Aura identifies as a trans woman, realizing her identity at 15 and coming out at 17.
• 🏳️‍🌈 She felt she was 'born in the wrong body' and sought validation through online videos about trans experiences.
• 👦🏻 Growing up, Aura was seen as the 'feminine boy', caught between societal expectations for boys and girls.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👧 Raised in a household of women, Aura's early environment was filled with traditionally feminine activities.
• 👨‍👦‍👦 Aura's father was less accepting of her femininity, which contributed to her internal struggle with her identity.
• 💃 The name 'Ara' emerged from her stage name 'Arabesque', reflecting her background as a dancer.
• 👪 Aura's sisters were immediately supportive upon her coming out, while her mother needed time to understand and accept.
• 🏥 Aura plans to start medical transition involving hormone therapy and surgeries to align her physical appearance with her gender identity.
• 🤔 Aura experiences body dysmorphia, feeling discomfort with her body's appearance and is looking forward to changes from her transition.
• 🏳️‍⚧️ Despite being attracted to men, Aura identifies as a heterosexual woman, emphasizing her gender identity over her sexual orientation.
• 🌟 Aura's chosen family and community provide a strong support system, crucial for her journey and self-affirmation.

Q & A

How does Aura identify herself?

Aura identifies as a trans woman.

At what age did Aura realize she was trans?

Aura knew she was trans when she was about 15 years old.

What was Aura's experience growing up with her family dynamics?

Aura grew up with her mom and two sisters, and her father was not very open to her feminine traits. She felt more comfortable in a household of women.

How did Aura's realization of being trans come about?

Aura's realization came about after watching videos online explaining what it means to be trans, which resonated with her feelings of being in the wrong body.

What was Aura's experience with her dead name?

Aura felt that her dead name, given at birth, was extremely masculine and awkward to answer to, leading her to go by a nickname that felt more representative of her identity.

How did Aura's family react when she came out as trans?

Aura's sisters were immediately accepting, while her mother initially had reservations but was more concerned about how society would treat Aura than questioning her identity.

What is the significance of the name 'Ara' for Aura?

The name 'Ara' came from Aura's stage name 'Arabesque' as a performer, which she felt was beautiful, unique, and fitting for her identity.

What are Aura's plans for her medical transition?

Aura plans to start taking testosterone blockers and estrogen hormones this summer, and she will also undergo surgeries to align her physical appearance with her gender identity.

How does Aura define her sexual orientation?

Aura sees herself as a heterosexual woman because she is a woman attracted to men.

What is Aura's approach to dating and relationships?

Aura is upfront about her trans identity early in conversations and relationships, ensuring that potential partners are aware and accepting of her status.

What kind of support system does Aura have?

Aura has a chosen family within the community, which consists of supportive individuals who are not related by blood but are there for her every step of the way.

What advice does Aura have for others regarding the trans experience?

Aura advises that every trans person's experience is unique and that it's important to love and support individuals at whatever stage they are at in their journey, without rushing them.

Outlines

00:00

🌈 Self-Identification and Coming Out Journey

Aura, a trans woman, shares her journey of self-discovery and coming out. She realized she was trans at 15 and came out at 17. She felt she was born in the wrong body and identified more with feminine traits. Her family, consisting of her mother and two sisters, was aware of her feminine tendencies, but her father was less accepting. Aura's realization was solidified through online videos that explained transgender identity. She chose her name 'Ara' inspired by her stage name 'Arabesque' from her background as a dancer.

05:01

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Family Dynamics and Acceptance

Aura discusses her family's reaction to her coming out as trans. While her sisters were immediately supportive, her mother had initial reservations, fearing it was a phase and concerned about societal reactions. Aura's mother's concerns were alleviated after a heartfelt conversation and a YouTube video where they discussed her feelings. The dialogue helped clarify that her mother's worries were more about societal acceptance and potential bullying rather than doubting Aura's identity.

10:01

💉 Transitioning and Anticipated Changes

Aura talks about her decision to medically transition, which includes starting testosterone blockers and estrogen hormones. She expresses her excitement about the physical changes she anticipates, particularly the affirmation of seeing her true self reflected in the mirror. She also mentions her struggles with body dysmorphia and how being transparent about her body with potential partners is important to her. Aura is upfront about her body with those she dates, ensuring that they are aware and accepting before progressing in a relationship.

15:03

🏥 Surgical Plans and Support System

Aura outlines her plans for surgical procedures, including breast augmentation, fat redistribution for an hourglass figure, and bottom surgery. She emphasizes the importance of individual pacing in the transition process and the need for support. Aura finds a strong support system in her 'chosen family' within the performing arts community, who provide her with a sense of belonging and encouragement throughout her journey.

🌟 Individuality in Transition Experiences

In the final paragraph, Aura stresses the importance of recognizing that every trans person's experience is unique. She advises that not all trans individuals will undergo surgeries or hormone therapy, and that being trans is a state of mind. She encourages people to support and love trans individuals at whatever stage of their journey they are at, without rushing or pressuring them.

Keywords

💡Transgender

Transgender refers to individuals whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. In the video, Aura identifies as a trans woman, which means she was assigned male at birth but identifies and lives as a woman. The video discusses her personal journey of realizing and accepting her transgender identity, which is central to the narrative.

💡Dead Name

A 'dead name' is the birth name of a transgender person that they no longer use or identify with after transitioning. In the script, Aura mentions that her birth name felt 'dead' to her, indicating discomfort and disconnection from the name given at birth, which was masculine and did not align with her gender identity.

💡Gender Dysphoria

Gender dysphoria is a condition where a person experiences discomfort or distress because there's a mismatch between their gender identity and their sex assigned at birth. Aura describes experiencing extreme dysphoria regarding her body, particularly before she began to present as her authentic self, highlighting the internal conflict and distress that can be associated with gender dysphoria.

💡Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)

Hormone Replacement Therapy is a medical treatment that involves taking hormones to help align one's physical appearance with their gender identity. Aura discusses her plans to start HRT, including testosterone blockers and estrogen, to induce physical changes that correspond with her female identity, illustrating a common step in medical transition for trans women.

💡Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS)

Sex Reassignment Surgery, also known as gender confirmation surgery, refers to medical procedures that alter a person's physical sex characteristics to match their gender identity. Aura mentions planning for surgeries such as breast augmentation and bottom surgery, which are part of her transition process to align her body with her identity.

💡Chosen Family

Chosen family refers to a supportive network of people who may not be related by blood but are as close or closer than one's biological relatives. In the video, Aura talks about her chosen family in the transgender community, emphasizing the importance of this support system in her journey, which is a common theme among many in the LGBTQ+ community.

💡Passing

Passing is when a transgender person is perceived as the gender they identify with, without being read as transgender. Aura mentions that she 'passes well' as a cisgender woman, which is significant as it allows her to live her life with less fear of discrimination or violence, but also brings up the complexities of dating and relationships.

💡Cisgender

Cisgender is a term used to describe individuals whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth. The video contrasts Aura's transgender identity with cisgender identities, noting that she presents as a cis woman to avoid confusion and potential prejudice.

💡Sexual Orientation

Sexual orientation refers to an individual's enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, or sexual attractions to men, women, both genders, or none. Aura identifies as heterosexual, meaning she is a woman attracted to men. This is an important aspect of her identity that is separate from her gender identity.

💡Transphobia

Transphobia is the fear or discrimination against transgender people. While not explicitly mentioned in the script, the discussion around the potential risks and societal challenges Aura faces implies the existence of transphobia. Her family's initial reaction and her proactive approach to disclosing her status to potential partners reflect the need to navigate a world that may not be fully accepting.

💡Transitioning

Transitioning is the process by which a transgender person shifts their gender expression and/or physical sex characteristics to align with their gender identity. Aura's narrative is largely about her transitioning journey, including social, medical, and legal steps, which is a central theme of the video.

Highlights

Aura identifies as a trans woman and knew she was trans at 15, coming out at 17.

Aura felt she was born in the wrong body and always felt feminine.

Aura's realization of being trans came from watching videos online.

Aura experienced being an 'in-between' child, not fitting neatly into gender norms.

Aura's father was not initially open to her feminine interests, influencing her early gender confusion.

Aura felt more than just being gay, which led to her exploration of identity.

Aura's dead name felt wrong, leading her to adopt a nickname and later her chosen name, Ara.

Ara's name 'Ara' emerged from her stage name 'Arabesque', reflecting her identity as a performer.

Ara's family, particularly her sisters, were immediately supportive of her identity.

Ara's mother was initially scared and unsure, fearing societal reactions.

Ara's decision to transition involved a two-year period of self-affirmation before coming out to her family.

Ara has not yet medically transitioned but plans to start hormone therapy and consider surgeries.

Ara looks forward to seeing her true self reflected in the mirror after transitioning.

Ara experiences body dysmorphia, feeling discomfort with her body's appearance.

Ara is upfront about her body with potential partners, ensuring transparency from the start.

Ara sees herself as a heterosexual woman attracted to men, despite being transgender.

Ara's transition process may take up to five years, including surgeries and hormone therapy.

Ara has a supportive 'chosen family' within the trans community, providing her with a strong support system.

Ara emphasizes that every trans person's experience is unique and should be respected.

Transcripts

[Music]

so aura thanks very much for coming and

talking with me today about all things

trans

and maybe a good place to start is just

with

how you identify and what trans means to

you yeah so i identify as a trans woman

i knew that i was trans when i was about

15 and then i came out when i was 17.

and so to me trans is

i was born in the wrong body i've always

felt feminine i've always thought

feminine but the outside just didn't

reflect that and so

i knew

when i was about 15 i started seeing

videos on the internet um of people

explaining what trans was and that was

the moment i knew that that's who i was

oh interesting and and prior to that if

you were to roll the clock back you know

to 14 or 13 or 12 or 11 did it seem to

you as if

there was some confusion for you that

you wanted to resolve or you just felt

like you were

a little boy growing up right what

how did how did it come to the the uh

the point that you

started looking at youtube's and you

started searching for an identity that

fit for you yeah so for me it was always

growing up i was you know the feminine

boy or i was always being made fun of

because i was too feminine to play with

the boys but i was too masculine to play

with the girls it was just always kind

of that in between stage

and i finally

you know i sat down and i was like

i feel like i'm more than just the gay

boy you know i knew that i was attracted

to men and i knew that

i liked more feminine things you know i

liked pink i like makeup i like nails

hair all of that type of stuff

and so that's when i was looking on the

internet and i was like what does this

mean

um and that's when i started finding

those videos on the internet that really

like if it wasn't for those i don't know

if i would even still to this day and

know who i was oh okay

interesting interesting and

when you when you're growing up with

your family do you have brothers or

sisters that you

that you identified with or looked up to

or

you said that you felt like you were a

feminine boy

and is that in comparison to schoolmates

or siblings or

so

i always felt like it was a bad thing to

be considered a feminine boy because my

dad growing up was not the most um open

to things like that

uh and i grew up with my mom and my two

sisters

and so i was always in the house of

women so you know

makeup and hair was that's what you just

do

and it wasn't until my dad started

telling me you know that's not what a

man is supposed to do that's not how

it's supposed to be and

i think those were the

beginnings of you know my thoughts of

well maybe i'm not supposed to be a boy

maybe

which of course there's nothing wrong

with liking those things as a boy but

i knew that it was deeper than that for

me i see and so now it may be hard to

peel the the layers of the onion back

but

you said something really interesting

just a minute ago you said i knew i was

more than a gay boy

okay now that that that gets my

attention what

like

how do you know that you're more than

what was it that felt like that wasn't a

sufficient or adequate description of

you that you knew there was something

more that wasn't

you weren't just a gay boy you were just

a gay guy there was something more

so for me it was you know in school and

during pe

uh specifically that's like the moment i

remember the most when

they would tell us you know split into

your groups of boys and girls and

they would always put me in the groups

of the boys and i just knew like that's

not where i'm supposed to be i don't

feel that way

and

you know people would call me he and

call me by my dead name which was the

name i was given at birth and it just

always felt wrong

and felt like they were talking to

somebody

behind me and not actually to me myself

well so even that early on your dead

name felt dead to you oh absolutely it's

always

my dead name is extremely masculine i

was named after my dad

and

i mean it's just

i felt awkward every single time i would

answer to that name and so growing up my

entire life i never even went by that

name i went by a nickname that was kind

of right in the middle of both masculine

and feminine because i felt more

comfortable with that okay i was going

to ask you if you had

a way of identifying yourself that felt

more like you and so it was a nickname

yes you transitioned immediately away

from that towards something that at

least

felt more like you

and then came ara somehow okay and then

how that how did that emerge for you so

the name ara actually came from uh i'm a

performer and my stage name is arabesque

which is a ballet term because i grew up

as a dancer and so

hearing people whenever i would perform

call me aura by the first name of my

performer name

it just felt right and i thought it was

such a beautiful name and so unique and

didn't sound like anything anybody else

had and so that was the moment i was

like yeah arafats that feels right this

is literally a case of where life

imitates art oh absolutely absolutely

the art name fit you better than your

exactly your dead name yeah

interesting okay so so then um

you know you're in the household you're

in the household with with sisters and

with a mom

um

and

you are getting a sense

of you know identification as trans do

you share that with them

how does it emerge that they come to

know aura

yeah so i

like i said figured out who i was at the

age of 15.

i then took two years to fully make sure

that this was exactly the choice that i

wanted to make

to come out to my family and to live my

authentic life

and so on january 1st whenever i was 17

was whenever i finally said i don't want

to live another year without being who i

am and that's when i came up to my mom

and that's when i came up to my sisters

which

for two years prior to that my sisters

kept asking me you know do you want to

be female yadda yadda and

i kept telling them no because i was

scared to actually admit it to myself

and to somebody else

because the moment somebody else knows

that's when it's officially real yeah

and so when i finally came out to them

they were all just kind of like yeah we

knew we were just kind of waiting

yesterday's news today oh absolutely

absolutely now before that were they

thinking of you or were you thinking of

yourself as gay

oh yeah my entire life i mean i never

had to like come out of the closet for

that aspect okay i was the dancer the

cheerleader the actor like it was just

everyone knew i was very gay from the

beginning okay so that one you could go

coming out too no not at all not at all

but then but then how interesting that

there's

for a lot of people that would be

the coming out for you that was only the

beginning that was the given and then

the coming out part was it was the uh

was the trans and mom and sisters

accepting

um my sisters were extremely accepting

from the beginning they

you know started using my correct

pronouns and my name choice and

everything like that my mom in the

beginning

from my viewpoint was not as

understanding

and you know she was scared that it was

a phase or because at the time it was

super popular in the media

and so she kept asking me you know

are you sure you want to do this you

know that you can't reverse certain

things once you start uh medically

transitioning

and

it just felt like you know

i was the teenager that was just the

rebel and just wanted to go against

everything my mom said

um and so i actually lived for about six

more months

as a boy

because she wasn't fully accepting and i

was still in her house and

you know i was

i never had a fear that i'd be kicked

out but i was always scared of what

could happen

um and then finally she and i sat down

because at this time i had a youtube

channel and i sat down with her and we

filmed a whole video about

how she felt when i came out to her and

everything

and that was the moment i found out that

it wasn't that she thought

that i wasn't trans is that she was

scared of how other people in the world

would feel

um i was still in high school when i

came out to her so she was scared you

know would i be bullied at school with

things happen you know we've heard all

these horror stories of what happens to

kids when they come out in high school

and so she was more just like

really making sure that i was who i said

i was interesting but in a way that as i

understand are you and your mom did kind

of the same thing like you you needed to

affirm for yourself and she needed to

affirm for you for herself that it was

for real oh that's a transition one

phase yeah and it was a huge thing for

me to finally understand that

you know i spent two years making sure

that everything was okay and that i was

correct and everything

and i forgot to give her that time as

well

because when you come out to your family

it's not just you transitioning they're

transitioning with you

yeah and they're either transitioning

with you or they're not exactly you

either get traction or you get friction

don't you right so that's a good point

there's a lot going on with you

that they have to get caught up on and

they have their own process absolutely

off coming to that transition coming to

embrace that and affirm that

so now you have you made the decision to

fully transition yes i have so what does

that involve or where are you at at this

point so i currently have not medically

transitioned at all um

i just present female and i wear the

makeup and the hair and everything to

kind of

give off the effect that i was a cis

female which is born at birth female

and

i do a very good job

thank you

it's a lot of work but

this summer i will be starting my

testosterone blockers which will block

the testosterone from producing in my

body

and i will start to take the estrogen uh

hormones which will up that factor

and after that i will start to have my

surgeries to

make the outside look how the inside

feels okay yep and and what when you

think about the body the bodily changes

anticipate this process what are you

looking forward to the most

i think for me

i am looking for

you know the more

i know that it'll be so affirming for me

to be able to look in the mirror

and see the woman that i always knew i

was

finally sitting there in front of me and

not just like

you know my instagram pictures where i

edit my body to look how it's supposed

to look so that nobody suspects anything

online and

i think that is truly like

what i'm so excited about is to finally

look how i feel that's right

and are there you know there's this

thing of sort of body dysmorphia being

uncomfortable with parts of your body

and and for

many people who are transitioning

transitioning nailed it's one set of

concerns and transitioning females a

different set of concerns for you did

you experience that kind of body

dysmorphia where it just feels like

this this doesn't belong to me right

okay i um yeah i've always felt that way

about my body and that's another thing

that in the beginning i knew i was like

you know whenever i would be taking a

shower or anything i was like my body's

not supposed to look like this i'm not

supposed to have these certain

characteristics to my body

and

i experience

extreme dysmorphia

to the point where you know it's

i

for about two months

put sheets over all the mirrors in my

house because i didn't want to see what

i looked like without clothes on and

without

having everything hidden

so yeah it's it was really bad for a

moment um i've learned how to dress

myself to kind of

you know give the illusion of certain

things

but

yeah i still dysmorphia is still very

very prevalent in my head and so that

hopefully will vanish as your morphology

changes exactly and you come to see in

the mirror what you see in your mind

which is alright as a woman exactly now

help me with this one help me with the

with the sexual orientation

in a relationship

um

do you see yourself as homosexual do you

see yourself as heterosexual

so this is actually a question i get a

lot um i

and every trans person has a different

experience you know every

my experience is not the same as

everyone else's sure i personally see

myself as a heterosexual woman because i

am a woman who is attracted to men okay

so to me yes i've always been in

heterosexual relationships i've always

been

a straight woman

okay

okay so

now with

will this change your partnering then as

you go through the transition

right now

you see yourself as a heterosexual woman

in your relationships with

with men

and

with men who also didn't see themselves

as heterosexual yes okay i have only

been in relationships and i have only

you know

sought after um men who are interested

in women i

because to me i have no use for a gay

man because i'm not a man and so i'm not

what they want and they're not what i

want right

but there must also be a

subset of men who are comfortable with

your with your body and health oh

absolutely absolutely and how does that

work because you pass so well

how do you get to the point that you

indicated that

you may not have the genitals that they

expect or how does that work so for me

i'm very upfront about it which

some trans women are not they like to

keep it more like a secret and you know

only tell people when they're fully

comfortable with somebody but for me

after all the horror stories that i've

heard of people i just want it to be out

in the open from the beginning

and so

you know within the first 20 30 minutes

it will come up in conversation

and i mean when it comes to like online

dating

it's in my bio you cannot

match with me on any

dating app until you have seen that in

my bio i see okay so that's good because

you have complete transparency

and

um you know then you can have the

the um the security of knowing

that um you're being completely open and

they're going to be affirming and

embracing

oh that's that's excellent

so

as you move forward into the next stage

uh the transition stage will that be is

that a year or two period of time or how

long will the transition take

to get to the point where

you know you're on the other side of it

and you

are in the place that you ultimately

want to be the destination if you will

so

um

a lot of people have said different

things

um

when you start your hormones or anything

there are certain surgeries that you

can't have for a certain amount of time

until after you start them

just because your body will go through

physical changes

and you want to make sure that your body

is done going through those changes

before you

make changes on top of it and then it

gets morphed in some way that's

wrong just because your body wasn't done

for me

um so

some people you know you can finish

all the surgeries that you want within

two to three years some people it takes

up to 10 15 years

and some people you know they get all

the surgeries they thought they wanted

and then

once you're done with that they realize

that they're still not comfortable

or they realize that they want something

changed or fixed and so it really

fluctuates but i believe that within

about five years i'll be to the point

right now that i think i want to be up

okay

and and are you imagining

surgery to transition in your genitals

and also like breast implants or do you

think the hormones will be sufficient um

so hormones will

produce breast growth

but i personally um just because of like

my job that i have as a performer and

everything i feel like i have a certain

aesthetic that i'm going for

and so for me

and the woman that i know i am

i

will go through

breast augmentation

as well as um

fat redistribution so i'll take that

from certain areas to give a more

hourglass shape and then as well as what

we call bottom surgery i will go through

that as well okay and are you already

shopping are you thinking

absolutely absolutely so what are

i mean you know nothing too big nothing

too small just the right size

that's great well it's kind of fun isn't

it it's a little bit like planning for a

trip that um you know there's just

part of it is just savoring in

anticipation the process each step and

stage well it's just like you know with

every woman's wedding dress the moment

you find the one is you know it's the

way you know it

and do you have people uh close in your

life or in the community that are

supportive for you where do you look for

sources of support or inspiration in

this very courageous thing that you're

doing so for me whenever i started

performing and everything i

fell in love with the community and i

have what we in the community call our

chosen family which are the people who

you know they may not be related by

blood

but they're my moms my sisters my

brothers

and they are the people that

you know no matter what i'm going

through in my life i know that they're

there and i know they have my back and

they are there to

walk with me through every single step

um and just to help in any way they can

and so

i have this huge crowd of people behind

me always there to support

that's fantastic

that is fantastic that that is that is

so lovely

so what is there anything else about the

about

that that i'm missing that's an

important

aspect of the trans experience or

process

that would be helpful for people to hear

about

i think it's just you know remembering

that

yes we've heard what my experiences it

what we've

yes we've heard what my experience is

and we've heard you know what i plan on

doing but i think the biggest thing is

remembering that

just because i said it

and this is how i feel is not how every

other trans person that you will meet

feels and not what process everyone will

go through and you know you don't have

to have surgeries to be trans you don't

have to

go through hormone replacement therapy

to be trans you don't have to present

completely different than you already

were

because being trans is a state of your

mind and i think that's the biggest

thing is just remembering

to love and support everybody at every

stage that they want to be at

and just be there for them and

[Music]

go at their pace don't rush anybody

that's really helpful to hear and i i

appreciate you just taking the time and

and and being so candid and being so

transparent and being so affirming in

relation to something that could be

quite threatening or or scary and it

really

uh just to hear your level of

affirmation

and transparency and talking about your

experiences a treat so thanks for coming

and talking

thank you appreciate it absolutely