Brutally Honest Advice to my Poorer Younger Self

Summary

Это честный совет молодому себе о том, как достичь успеха в бизнесе и личностном росте. Сосредоточение на заработке денег, а не на утренних ритуалах или других отвлекающих моментах, является ключом к успеху. Важно изучать действия людей на пути к их успеху, а не то, что они делают, будучи уже на вершине. Совет заключается в том, чтобы начинать рано, избегать работы без перспективы роста, и не бояться начинать с нуля в любом возрасте. Автор подчеркивает важность обучения, вместо того чтобы преследовать краткосрочную выгоду, и делится личным опытом переосмысления взглядов на бренд и продукт для достижения долгосрочного успеха.

Takeaways

• 🕒 Утренние ритуалы могут отнимать время и энергию, которые лучше потратить на работу для достижения успеха.
• 🎯 Сосредоточьтесь на действиях, которые приближают вас к вашим целям, избегая отвлекающих факторов.
• 📈 Моделируйте поведение успешных людей на этапе их восхождения, а не их текущие привычки.
• 👶 Ранние испытания и трудности не гарантируют успеха; важны усилия и работа, проделанная на пути к цели.
• ⏳ Не откладывайте достижения, действуя по принципу «30 - это новые 20». Цените время и начинайте действовать сейчас.
• 💡 Развивайтесь и инвестируйте в себя с молодых лет, чтобы не отставать от сверстников и использовать каждую возможность для роста.
• 🛠 Прямые действия и работа над собой важнее, чем поиск вдохновения или страсти. Страсть приходит с мастерством.
• 💲 Образование и информация - самые ценные ресурсы. Инвестируйте в них, чтобы минимизировать «долг невежества».
• 🚀 Строители бренда и продукта должны сосредотачиваться на качестве и долгосрочной репутации, а не на краткосрочной выгоде.
• 🌱 Избегайте ярлыков и ограничений, которые другие пытаются навязать вам. Развивайтесь и действуйте в соответствии с собственными целями и убеждениями.

Q & A

Почему автор считает, что навязчивость утренних рутин мешает зарабатыванию денег?

Автор утверждает, что люди, сосредоточенные на утренних рутинах, тратят время, которое могли бы использовать для работы и зарабатывания денег. Он считает, что замена этих рутин на дополнительные часы работы приведет к более значительным результатам.

Как автор предлагает отличить действительно полезные действия от бесполезных?

Автор предлагает фокусироваться на действиях, которые непосредственно влияют на достижение желаемых результатов, и избегать всего, что отвлекает от этого. Он подчеркивает важность мерить эффективность действий и отказываться от тех, которые не приносят измеримой пользы.

Какую ошибку делают люди, делая выводы на основе успехов других?

Люди часто делают неверные выводы, связывая успех с нерелевантными факторами, например, с утренними рутинами успешных людей, вместо того чтобы анализировать действия, которые действительно привели их к успеху.

Почему важно анализировать, что успешные люди делали на пути к успеху, а не то, что они делают сейчас?

Автор советует изучать действия, которые люди предпринимали на пути к успеху, а не их текущие привычки или рутины, потому что именно эти действия были ключевыми для достижения их целей.

Почему не следует полагаться на трудные детские годы как на гарантию успеха?

Автор отмечает, что множество людей с трудным детством так и не добиваются успеха, а также есть успешные люди без трудного детства, что доказывает отсутствие прямой связи между трудностями в детстве и успехом.

Почему важно начинать инвестировать в свое развитие как можно раньше?

Автор утверждает, что чем раньше начать работать над собой и своими навыками, тем лучше будут результаты в будущем, и подчеркивает, что откладывание этого процесса может привести к потере драгоценного времени.

Какова роль образования и информации в достижении успеха, согласно автору?

Автор считает образование и информацию чрезвычайно ценными ресурсами, потому что они позволяют сократить «долг невежества» и быстрее двигаться к своим целям.

Почему важно отличать действия от намерений при оценке пути к успеху?

Автор подчеркивает, что важны не намерения, а конкретные действия, которые приводят к результатам. Он советует сосредотачиваться на том, что реально было сделано, а не на абстрактных планах или намерениях.

Почему автор критикует привязанность к личным ярлыкам или меткам?

Автор выражает мнение, что самонавешивание ярлыков ограничивает личное развитие и возможности, поскольку люди начинают действовать в соответствии с этими метками, а не стремятся к росту и изменениям.

Какие два основных урока хотел бы автор передать своему молодому себе?

Первый урок касается понимания важности создания качественного продукта и построения сильного бренда, которые способны привлечь клиентов и удержать их интерес. Второй урок подчеркивает необходимость начинать работать над собой и своими навыками как можно раньше.

Outlines

00:00

💼 The Futility of Morning Routines for Success

The speaker argues against the obsession with morning routines as a path to wealth and success. They highlight that those who focus on making money and sacrificing for it tend to become wealthy before filling their time with routines. The speaker criticizes the correlation fallacy, emphasizing the importance of understanding the actions that truly led to success rather than the superficial routines or habits displayed by successful individuals.

05:01

🚀 Starting Late vs. Early Advantage

The speaker discusses the misconception that starting late puts one at a disadvantage. They argue that it's never too late to begin the journey to success, as long as one is willing to take action. The speaker shares personal anecdotes and examples to illustrate that success is not tied to age but to the actions taken and the willingness to learn and grow continuously.

10:02

🎓 Learning vs. Earning: The Balance for Long-Term Success

The speaker emphasizes the importance of learning over earning, especially in one's early career. They argue that prioritizing personal growth and skill development over immediate income can lead to greater long-term success. The speaker shares examples of individuals who chose to learn in high-profile environments, which later translated into significant career advantages.

15:04

💡 The Power of Compounding Efforts

The speaker discusses the concept of compounding, explaining how focusing on building a strong product and brand can lead to significant long-term benefits. They share their personal experience with book publishing, where the quality of the first book led to high sales for subsequent books without additional marketing efforts. The speaker highlights the value of patience and persistent effort in creating a compounding effect in business and personal growth.

20:05

🗣️ The Dangers of Labels and Limiting Beliefs

The speaker warns against the dangers of self-imposed and external labels, which can limit one's potential and actions. They argue that labels are not reflective of one's true capabilities and can change based on necessity. The speaker encourages focusing on actions and results rather than on labels and perceived limitations, advocating for an environment that supports growth and the shedding of unhelpful identities.

Keywords

💡morning routines

The concept of morning routines refers to a set of activities that individuals perform first thing in the morning to start their day productively. In the context of the video, it is criticized as a potential distraction from the actual work that contributes to financial success and business growth. The speaker argues that focusing on morning routines can lead people away from the actions that truly generate income and progress.

💡productivity

Productivity is the efficiency of producing a maximum of output with the minimum of wasted effort or time. In the video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of focusing on actions that directly lead to increased productivity and financial growth rather than on rituals or routines that may not contribute to these outcomes.

💡correlation and causation

Correlation and causation are two concepts in statistics and logic. Correlation indicates a mutual relationship between two factors, while causation implies that one event causes the other. The speaker in the video warns against mistaking correlations for causations, especially when trying to understand the reasons behind people's success.

💡personal growth

Personal growth refers to the process of improving one's character, self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and social skills. In the video, the speaker argues that personal development is essential for success and that one should focus on actions that directly contribute to personal growth rather than on superficial routines.

💡ignorance debt

Ignorance debt is a metaphorical term used to describe the cost of not knowing something important that could have been known. In the video, the speaker uses this concept to emphasize the importance of continuous learning and investing in education to reduce this 'debt' and improve one's chances of success.

💡entrepreneurial journey

The entrepreneurial journey refers to the process of starting and growing a business, which often involves overcoming challenges, taking risks, and learning from failures. In the context of the video, the speaker highlights the importance of starting this journey early and learning from experience, rather than focusing on immediate earnings or success.

💡earning vs learning

The concept of 'earning vs learning' refers to the choice between prioritizing immediate income (earning) and focusing on acquiring knowledge and skills that may lead to future growth (learning). The speaker in the video argues that, especially in one's 20s, it's crucial to prioritize learning and personal growth over solely focusing on earning a high income.

💡brand

A brand is the identity and reputation of a business, product, or individual, often associated with certain values, qualities, and promises. In the video, the speaker discusses the importance of building a strong brand, as it can lead to trust and credibility, which in turn can result in more significant business opportunities and sales with less effort.

💡compounding

Compounding refers to the process of creating increasing effects over time through the accumulation of small efforts or successes. In the context of the video, the speaker emphasizes the power of compounding in business, particularly in terms of building a reputation and product quality, which can lead to exponential growth and success.

💡labels

Labels are predefined categories or definitions that people use to quickly describe or understand others or themselves. In the video, the speaker argues against the use of labels, as they can limit personal growth and action, and prevent individuals from reaching their full potential.

Highlights

The advice is aimed at individuals who want to increase their wealth and personal growth.

People focused on morning routines tend to make less money than those solely obsessed with wealth generation.

After achieving wealth, some individuals fill their time with routines and forget the actions that led to their wealth.

A suggestion to replace a 3-hour morning routine with 3 hours of work led to significant productivity improvements for a young entrepreneur.

Focus on actions that lead to desired outcomes rather than distractions.

Correlations are often mistaken; instead, examine the actions that led to success.

The belief that a hard childhood leads to success is flawed, as many with difficult backgrounds do not achieve success.

It's a myth that 30 is the new 20; it should not be used as an excuse to delay accomplishments.

Dead-end jobs without growth opportunities can hinder personal development.

Invest in personal growth and skill development in your 20s to not fall behind in your 30s.

Starting a business journey early can give a significant advantage in business experience over those who start later.

Paying down 'ignorance debt' is crucial for everyone, regardless of age.

It's never too late to start; the best time was when you were 10, the second-best time is now.

Avoid labeling yourself with limitations; focus on actions and ideals instead.

Compounding effect in business is powerful; focus on creating products and a brand that sells itself over time.

Delivering exceptional products and building a strong reputation leads to sustained success.

The value of information is immense; investing in knowledge pays off significantly in the long run.

Understanding brand and product is crucial for long-term success, rather than just focusing on sales and marketing.

The importance of focus and deep work for creating excellent products and achieving success.

Transcripts

this is more brutally honest advice to

my younger poor self this advice is only

for somebody who wants to make more

money grow in their business grow in

themselves people obsessed with their

morning routines make less money than

people obsessed with making money people

work sacrifice and then they get rich

then they fill their time with weird

routines then they forget how they got

rich in the first place and then they

tell other people the weird routines

made them Rich rather than what they

actually did which is whatever it took

not some 3-hour morning routine there

was a kid who dm' me who said hey I've

been working with this business coach

and he has me doing a morning routine

could not make this up after I do my

grounded walking I do my gratitude

Journal I do my list for the day I do my

ice plunge it's like after I do that he

takes me about 3 hours in the morning to

get all that done he's like I barely

have any energy to like actually get

work done I just said I'm going to give

you the biggest hack in the world cut

the 3-hour morning routine replace it

with 3 hours of work and I promise

you'll get more done and he messaged me

back a week later he was like dude it

changed my whole life I'm getting so

much done now I was like what a [ __ ]

concept if you work more more gets done

and I love just looking at this it's

like what actions do I have to take to

get what I want anything that is not

that is a distraction from it period if

it takes you 5 minutes to feel 20%

better and you can actually measure that

your output goes up by 20% Then cool

that makes sense so I'm not I'm not

against doing things I'm against doing

things for the sake of doing

them and so one of the biggest issues

with learning and education as humans do

it is that we make correlations to

things that are approximate they're

close to another tall people play

basketball I should play basketball to

get tall we make these very mistaken

correlations but we should look at is

what it took to get there not what

they're doing now so the better advice

is to look at what someone was doing on

their way up in the grind mirror that

more than what they're currently doing

at the top of the mountain so it would

be like assuming warm Buffett is Rich

because he drinks Coke I drink probably

5 12 ounce Cokes a day all you have to

do also on the cories are there other

people who drink Coke who aren't Rich

I've had probably 10 different podcasts

seed the premise do you think that the

fact that you had a hard childhood has

created the success today and I would

say no I would say the work that I did

created the success and all we have to

do is look at all the other people who

had bad childhoods who aren't successful

and I think there are way more of those

than there are that are to prove that it

actually has nothing to do with who's

successful there's also people who

didn't have bad childhoods who are

successful too and so it's just that

many people have bad childhoods some of

them become successful and so that's why

trying to figure out why something

happen happened I have spent less and

less of my effort trying to do that and

only look at what actions created a

result rather than looking at intention

or anything else that's a morphous that

can't be

measured 30 isn't the new 20 it's an

excuse to take 10 years longer to

accomplish the same thing you can die

when you're done until then keep going

in your 20s you're young you can [ __ ]

around it doesn't matter cuz life is

long number one that assumes that you're

not going to die if you're in your 30s

you know someone someone in your high

school class who died and it's not just

the drug overdose people it's the people

who got shot got in a car accident had a

weird brain cancer I've had all of those

things happened to people that I went to

high school with in one way I think it's

a little bit arrogant to assume that

you're just going to live because it

means you can waste your life and I I

wholeheartedly stand against that the

second translation around that that I

think has hurt a lot of people is that

they can do what I would consider

dead-end jobs and that means jobs that

don't have any direct correlation to

your personal growth has nothing to do

with pay you can work for free and grow

more than anyone else this is not saying

that you need to go into a season of

earning in your 20s but you do need to

be setting yourself up for growth in my

opinion if you want the big ultimate

outcome and so most people that at least

consume my stuff they want to be better

they want to grow they want to get in

better shape they want to have better

relationships they want to have a better

business they want to be you know bigger

in every way they want to expand if you

spend the decade of your 20s not growing

and not investing in your skills and

your education if if you do that in your

30s you're going to be further behind

than someone who starts in their 20s

you're going to be a decade behind you

know nowadays there's kids who are

starting the entrepreneurial Journey

when they're like 13 and so when they're

23 they're Mr Beast he's young but he's

actually pretty old in business terms CU

a lot of people start their business

journey in their mid-40s and so if

they're 50 years old and started their

business 5 years ago Mr Beast has twice

the amount of time in the ring under the

bar that they do for me I want to start

my time clock on paying down my

ignorance debt as fast as seemingly

possible because the debt is a constant

for everyone all of us are trying to pay

down that debt as fast as we can and

taking a decade arguably one of the most

productive Decades of your life and not

paying down that debt you just sit in

such a deficit compared to your peer

group some people might watch this and

be 30 or 40 or 50 and be like well [ __ ]

I took the wrong advice from the wrong

guy guess what you're going to die it's

not going to matter anyways big deal

whatever the best time to do this was

start when you were 10 and get born to

an entrepreneurial parent who got you in

their small business and invested in all

of your education as a homeschooled

student and taught you all the ways of

of the of the

Jedi but you probably didn't have that

and so the second was time is to start

now because let's play out the

alternative how much does it serve you

to just say I guess I have no chance

okay die there's nothing left for me to

do I will relinquish the remainder of my

living days and years because I choose

to lose and that's a choice and if you

want that that's cool the idea of

quitting simply because you're older

because you didn't do something

everybody doesn't do things that they

know they should be doing now and that's

because you're always going to know more

in the future than you do in the past

and so it's a faulty premise to say that

I'm not going to take action today

because I didn't know something in the

past everyone doesn't know anything in

the past but all you can do is take

action with what you know today and by

taking action you have learned and so

you actually take one step to making

your first payment on ignorance debt

through actions not words I mean I think

a lot of people know the story of the

30-year-old Barista if you love that

then do it you know what I mean like I

have no judgment on what you do do if

you don't love that and you wish you

were doing something else that's what I

would say I have a problem with which is

why are you not doing it and I think

diving into that which is usually some

sort of fear some sort of anxiety some

sort of label that they believed that

isn't true from someone else and just

trying to Zone in on like why am I not

doing it and taking two steps closer to

it not just like because I don't know

what I'm doing well duh okay neither

does anyone what are you doing about

that just defining it to what actions am

I going to take as a result just makes

life a lot easier what does figured out

mean it means that I'm going to read 2

hours a night on a specific subject

until I feel like I can make a decision

within 30 days on what I'm going to do

great that is something I can do and I

can measure whether I did it or

not you have seasons of earning and you

have seasons of learning I had this kid

who reached out he was 18 years old said

he was going to edit videos for us when

he came in he said I want $100,000 a

year as an editor as a starting job his

reasoning was that somebody else had

offered him that amount of money I want

to make this statement because I think

it's logic iCal and also stupid if

you're optimizing for your earning

potential in your 20s you're missing the

[ __ ] point this individual had the

potential to be on a team that has a

massively globally recognized brand in

terms of media and from there learn how

to be way better than they currently are

and then become a creative director at

another company or at one of my

portfolio companies like that is the

career path and instead was comparing

that to something that you would make

$100,000 a year and be the only person

in the depart department and no one

there knew anything about media and so

he wasn't going to learn he was going to

earn whereas somebody who got into the

big leagues and learned 10 times the

skill set then 10 years later is either

starting a multi-million dollar company

or heading up a multi-million dollar

division in a billion dollar company and

the potential is so much wider because

10 years from now someone says what's

your experience it's like well I I

worked at a real estate firm and I made

their social media content who gives a

[ __ ] whereas if you're like I work for

one of the biggest media companies out

there everyone will give you the job

offer and that is when you can choose to

earn over learn but people make the

trade too soon because they compare

themselves to people on social media and

think that the

.1% is the norm whenever you choose to

earn rather than learn you're right

hooking life and saying I'm no longer

going to develop and this is good enough

and so if $100,000 a year is actually

good enough for your long-term goals

then do it but I would imagine that it

probably isn't for what you really want

to do long term and I'm using 100 you

know six figures as a as a placeholder

it can be whatever number you want when

you make that decision that you're no

longer going to learn that's when you

stop growing your potential to learn

more I say this because that's what I

did I had a white Coller consulting job

for defense Contracting I had a top

secret clearance I had everything that

looked good on paper space I

intelligence I had a two to threee path

clearly for for getting an MBA at an IV

League school and then decided to drop

all of that and start working for $13 an

hour at a gym after I graduated magn

klady in 3 years from banderol I know

what I'm asking people to do and I'm not

asking them to do something that I

wasn't willing to do and I think that I

might have even a more extreme version

that most people are having to live with

trying to say like well I can't figure

out what I want is a really paralyzing

place to be that I think a lot of young

people are in is like I want to find my

passion but the big misnomer is actually

a language issue which is that people

say they want to find their passion

rather than they want to build it or

create it or learn it and so like I can

promise you that if you're good at

something you'll like doing it and the

only way that you get good at something

is by doing things you suck at and doing

a lot of

it so let's say you make $50,000 a year

it cost you $950,000 a year not to know

how to make a million do a year so how

much is that education worth answer the

difference the difference between $1

million and $50,000 which is $950 Grand

if you learn how to make a million the

education is worth the difference this

is why education and information are the

most valuable things that we can know

Elon has like lost everything and then

gain it back so many of the best off

Runners have stories where they lost it

all and then gain it back and so how is

it that they can go to to zero back to a

billion where somebody starting at zero

can't get there because they didn't lose

the education they didn't lose the

learnings they had a bad role and

sometimes in business you do make bets

on markets and sometimes they don't

shape up but you didn't lose and a lot

of times you actually gain in experience

so that the next bet pays off even

bigger everyone gets this wrong the most

expensive thing you ever pay for isn't

your car it isn't your house it isn't

your insurance it's the information that

you don't know but should I mean how

many things can you think of right now

that if you knew 10 years ago would have

materially changed your financial

outcome your relational outcome your

physical outcomes probably a lot what is

the value of that information borderline

Priceless and so the idea that we

wouldn't invest in paying down that debt

of ignorance that we owe the universe is

just because we don't know who we're

paying the check to every month for the

things that we don't know that we don't

value it appropriately the cost of

success is the years of feeling like an

idiot for things that you should have

known by now all the the decisions that

I made up to to this point led me to

hear and I don't regret my life so I

don't regret not knowing I mean if I

started over I'd be wealthier than I am

now you know what I

mean I can't go back in time but if I

could go back in time to talk to my

20-year-old self and it wouldn't change

the outcome of my life now cuz I would

never roll that dice is I would say

there's two things that you don't

understand that will massively change

your life you don't understand brand and

you don't understand product because I

was obsessive in my 20s on sales and

marketing and what I would consider fast

money I had fast feedback loops so I

would I get better at sales and then I

immediately make more sales I get better

marketing immediately make more money

and so I had this very fast feedback

loop that gave me the misinformation or

the false belief that this was the right

path but I was actually just playing the

wrong game because it's kind of like in

The Matrix when Neo says to morphus so

you're saying when I'm fast enough I'll

be able to dodge bullets and he said no

I'm saying when you're ready you won't

have to me being obsessive about sales

and marketing was me trying to get

faster and faster in the Matrix and not

being the one and seeing the code for

what it is which is that if you make a

product that's good enough people will

do the marketing and sales for you if

your brand is strong enough people will

make the association that they want to

buy your stuff regardless of how good

your copy and your headline and your

landing pages and your conversion rate

optimization and your media buying are I

kept getting really good at a game that

if I knew how to master the big things

that mattered would make those skills

almost irrelevant when $100 million

offers came out the book I didn't make

it for anything I made it for me and it

was originally intended to be an

internal document and so I just wanted

to make it exceptional and what happened

once I released it is what shocked me

the most was that I posted once and I

just said hey I wrote this book I hope

you guys like it and then we sold out in

minutes and I was like that's weird the

next month more copies sold and then the

next month more copies sold and then the

next month more copies sold and it's

continued to sell more copies month

after month after month for 2 years and

it's still number one in its category on

Amazon and that was with zero paid

marketing purely off of people telling

people about the book and so when I saw

how much leverage that was that that

book sells thousands a day not dollars

thousands of copies a day I have never

marketed anything well enough to sell a

thousand customers a day now mind you

I've always had more expensive stuff

that I've sold but like I'd never seen

that kind of transaction volume and the

only way to get that kind of transaction

volume is to have a huge amount of

Leverage The Leverage that product

unlocked for me or that understanding

was that if you make it good enough and

I love this saying which is there's too

big to fail and I love the other which

is too good to

fail my headline for $100 million off

offers makes no sense no one knows what

$100 million offers is and it's just

like a picture of a $100 bill it's a big

purple book like it actually makes no

sense but the contents of the book were

valuable enough that people were like

just just read it and they said it so

many times to so many people and most

people who when I see the comments and I

see the reviews they say I had four

different people in the same month tell

me in different groups that I should

read this book so I decided to do it

even though it looked hokey and oh my

God this thing is unbelievable and then

they tell 20 people or 100 people that

was when I realized how much Leverage

spending more time upfront on building a

better product would unlock for me what

I used to do was spend 2 months building

a good product and spend two years

marketing that product with great

marketing rather than spending two years

on a great product and then for the rest

of my life not having to spent any

dollars or effort on marketing so that

it would sell again and again and again

because of the quality of the product

itself and so that was the first lesson

that my younger self needed to

understand about business and the level

of detail that it takes to go from good

to Great is so much wider than people

think it is the difference between an

eight and a nine is 10 times the wor the

difference between 9 and 9 and a half is

10 times the work the difference between

9 and a half and 9.75 is another 10

times the work it's so much more effort

and honestly when I was younger I

couldn't even comprehend the amount of

work that I can do now and for me that

amount of work is the amount of unbroken

Focus time that I can stick with one

task I did not have that level of focus

I didn't have a strong enough no muscle

I didn't know how to turn down other

things that would distract me for long

enough if you can count in terms of

hundreds like I can promise you if you

put a th000 hours into something it'll

probably be pretty good and most people

spend like a 100 hours on something or I

mean that's [ __ ] most people spend even

less than time than that you start a

clock when you start working you stop a

clock when you stop working you spend

1,000 hours or 2,000 hours on something

there's a level of detail because of the

number of exposures you'll get to it the

crispy details of the product or the

service that can only come from looking

at that thing when it's cold looking at

thing when it's hot looking at it when

you're angry looking at it when you're

sad looking at it when you're inspired

looking at it when you're bored you see

it with different lenses and then what

happens is it just gives you so much

more depth and context to whatever

you're trying to build that that's the

difference between mediocre products and

excellent products and it just takes

time in an ocean of volume which there's

more commoditized products and services

today than ever before there is outsized

returns to being number one it is an

even bigger win or take all market now

than it ever has been because of social

media and the ease of letting other

people know about stuff if you are truly

the best everyone will know and if

everyone knows you are the best you will

have more demand than you can possibly

deal with people think the word of mouth

is dead when there's literally never

been an easier way to go viral in a

literal sense from people telling other

people about

stuff I said the second lesson was brand

and so I had to look at a company or

brand as a learning tool as what are

people going to learn to associate my

brand with the tangible and the

intangible ideas there are many people

that I associated with when I was

younger that I would never associate

with today even though I would say well

I don't act that way I don't live my

life the way they live their lives

people would still make that Association

if I did nothing but talk with porn

stars on my show people would still make

a very different association with me and

so I want to embody certain values that

I want my brand to associate with and

anything that is not those things by

default detracts from it because it

dilutes the association branding is like

curating a garden where pretty much

anything but the flower that you're

trying to grow there is a weed

even if it's a daffodil even if it's a

sunflower even if the flower itself is

fine like I said I have no issues with

porn I think it's a sunflower whatever

but if I'm trying to grow roses that

anything that's not a rose doesn't

belong being so Vigilant about defending

that Garden of Association and

reputation gives you so much leverage

because the reason Warren Buffett now

can just do deals that no one else can

do is because his handshake means more

than the US governments if he says he

will pay we know he will pay if he says

he will be there to ensure your entire

city we know he will he can do a deal on

a one-page agreement for billions of

dollars because people trust and they

know that his reputation matters more

than anything to him and so trust is

leverage for deals it's leverage for

sales the first experience I had with

having a strong brand was when we were

probably a year year and a half into gym

launch I launched what would become

Allen my software project and when

people heard I had launched a new thing

the clients that I had were sending

screenshots of their credit cards to my

C customer support team saying I don't

know what it was but if Alex made it

I'll buy it and so all of the ideas and

the obsessions around how it was going

to Market it and how I was going to

position it the thing that mattered most

was what they had already received from

me and how much I had delivered on my

first promise and so when I realized

that I was like all of this sales and

marketing stuff gets you one sale

delivering exceptional product an

exceptional reputation around your

products gets you every other sale after

that and you will always be able to sell

the next thing provided you delivered on

the first thing and that's where there's

this obsession with marketing because

there's always more people to sell to

it's a very in my opinion tiring life

you always have to go get new customers

if you make sales to get customers

rather than get customers to make sales

you make the customer the goal and then

you get to keep that relationship and

then next year you still have that

customer if you got a customer just to

make a sale you have to go get another

customer to make another sale next year

but if you make a sale to create the

relationship of the customer then next

year that customer will buy again and

the new customer will buy bu and the

third year you get the first two years

and the Third customer and then that is

how you create a compounding vehicle and

so both of those things brand and

product are actually underlying one

concept now that I'm saying it out loud

which is I didn't understand compounding

I thought that it was normal to have to

go out bang doors call phones DM run ads

to get customers every single month and

that next month I'm going to have to get

another 20 just to keep the lights on

rather than having spent more time on my

reputation and the quality of my product

so that when I sold the first they would

never leave again and then they would

send me the next 100 and I wouldn't have

to do anything and then I would be able

to fend people off and then I'd be able

to raise my prices and be able to take

people on my terms but I didn't

understand any of that and part of that

is because I wanted money so fast and

building a great product takes longer

building a great reputation literally

never stops until the day you die

leaning into that lesson you know the

first book I launched and I think it did

two or 4,000 copies sold its first month

something like that you know the second

book that launched 2 years later sold

250,000 copies cop in its first month

which for context the average New York

Times best sell ourselves between 10 and

100,000 in its first 12 months and we

sold 250 in the first month the only way

that that can happen is if the people

who bought the first book buy the second

book and everybody they tell also buys

and that book still continues to sell at

twice the rate of my first book

today here's how to spot friends that

are worth cutting they only talk about

your past not your future so if you go

and you hang out with your buddies and

all they can really reminisce with you

on is the things that you did together

but none of them are talking about what

they're going to do or what you're going

to do for me that's a Telltale sign that

they're living in the past they're not

even living in the present their best

years are behind them and for most of us

we want our best years to be ahead of us

and we want somebody who's also looking

at the same goal as us which is growth

which is moving forward just making

progress if you are a growth oriented

individual and you feel like you're not

sure about your environment or if it's

conducive the easiest liment test is who

talks about the future and who talks

about the past keep the ones who only

talk about the future future cut the

ones talking about the past the best

thing that I ever did was not listen to

other people's opinions about my life

they don't want the best version of you

they want the version of you who best

serves them now when I first said this I

got Flack from a bunch of parents they

were like I really want the best for my

kids I was like that's not true you want

a version of your children who serves

what you think will make you look the

best family I would say more often than

not has a closer alignment with your

long-term goals than strangers do and so

it makes sense that family would have

more aligned interests but not

completely aligned interests with you

cuz the only person who has a completely

aligned interest with you is future you

keeping that as the litmus test of whose

opinion I'm going to listen to although

it's more difficult has ultimately been

very fruitful for me because if you're

looking at two even two parents you can

disprove that concept by saying okay

well both parents want different things

for me of the things that both parents

want which of the things help each of

the parents individually out cu I can

promise you that the thing that one

parent wants doesn't hurt them and help

the other parent if they disagree it's

usually something that's more aligned

with their worldview their beliefs or

what they will get status from in their

Community for you doing and so all of

the things I just described have nothing

to do with you so why consider it I'll

say this upfront I hate why questions

cuz who knows why but I would say that I

if if I had to make a guess on why we

care about other people's opinions it's

because we've learned to care about

other people's opinions and when we're

children we learn to orient ourselves to

the world through other people telling

us what is what literally when you're a

kid you point and then you say what's

that and then they say this and so you

have to listen to other people on the

way up the problem is at some point you

have to turn it off and say you know

some of the people I was listening to

had no idea what they were saying but

you don't know they have no idea because

you don't have a context to make a

judgment you have to learn to become

human and then you have to learn to

become yourself and I think that at that

Turning Point you then have to analyze

the beliefs that you've been given and

then keep the ones that you choose most

parents are risk averse rather than

risk-taking for for their children so

like we are willing to take more risk

for ourselves often times than our

parents are willing to take on our

behalf and I think that's normal they

want to like keep you alive there's a

lot of evolutionary Drive behind that

and so they're playing not to lose but

if you want to play to win then you have

to take different bets I think a lot of

younger people get really confused

because they spend a lot of time talking

about ideas and very little talking

about doing actions and so if you just

Define the World by only things that

occur in it and not things that occur in

your mind there's a lot less noise and

so it becomes easier to see the farest

from the trees let's say I have an

employee and I want I hop on a

one-on-one and they said something in a

meeting before and I say I think the

intention behind your statement was that

you wanted me to do this and this is how

I was feeling about your statement and

this is probably where you were feeling

everything I just said is a complete

waste of time because all I know is that

they said this and so just focus on the

facts and if you can do that it actually

makes living life a lot easier or

navigating life a lot easier at least it

has for me because those are the only

objective truths an easy frame for that

is like would it be admitted to a court

at as evidence you saying you were

offended is not evidence John said this

to Sally these words that's evidence

indisputable and so just look at the

things that are Beyond reproach look at

the things that are indisputable look at

the things that are facts that are

observable and the world gets a lot

quieter and you also realize that most

people are full of [ __ ] and don't know

what they're talking about I mean if

someone was like hey Alex why did you

get into business I could make up an

answer it just how do we know it's true

trying to figure out someone's intention

is [ __ ] if someone ask me why did

you get into business I can make up an

answer anyone can make up an answer why

do you like making money why do you like

sales why do you like marketing why are

you good at this I can make up any

answer all I know is that these things

have occurred and so we can look at my

actions and we can look at the results

the rest of it of which which had what

influence on what like I can't relive my

life and I can't run the experiment and

so trying to determine why like was it

because my mom didn't hug me was it

because my dad hugged me too hard who

knows I can give anyone and someone will

nod and say great because we've trained

ourselves to say to answer when someone

says why do you do that you give them

words and they nod and say oh that's

interesting but like it doesn't does

mean it's true and so I just try and

skirt the whole conversation because

there's no point so when someone's like

well I'm the type of person who I'm like

just stop then they start using this

label to decide whether or why they can

or can't do something I wouldn't be

successful with that cuz I'm a KN freak

why because you take trash out of your

car regularly why does that have

anything to do with whether you could do

this or not I used to think and told

people I was bad at math until I was 25

post College post consulting job all of

it and then I decided that I was not

going to be bad at math and so I was

like okay well I'm not going to use a

calculator and so then I started getting

better and better at doing math problem

and then lo and behold uh when I took

the GMAT I was like okay I have to study

twice as hard for the math section and I

did just as well on the math section as

I did on my verbal but my whole life I

had said I was bad at math and so I

didn't study as hard because I was bad

at it everyone who's listening to this

has something they say about themselves

they're like I'm not organized I'm an

early bird right like we have these

labels we give ourselves but like why do

we have these labels like if you needed

to wake up early [ __ ] wake up early

if you need to stay up late you stay up

late the labels change our Behavior more

than we change the labels I really abhor

labels overall because I feel like it

limits my action when I get on podcasts

and I have talks and people try and

label me you'll probably actively see me

break the label almost every time

because I'm really aware of it and a lot

of people aren't and I don't think

people do it on purpose in a bad way I

just think that they will speak things

over you which is why I hate going home

because no one speaks [ __ ] over you more

than your family and the people who knew

you in high school Alex has always had a

short temper you you're a hotthead

literally people from home describe me

that way I was like I don't think I'm a

hotthead they will say that and then I

feel like I have to really put up my

mental like defenses to be like this is

not true here is the evidence that this

is not true what would a hothead do in

these scenarios that is not the way I

behaved therefore right and i' have to I

have to basically unwind that [ __ ]

whenever I go there and so that is why

I've been an advocate of like if you

want to change your behavior change your

environment because they're not going to

reinforce labels that you then also

perpetuate in your own mind by the

actions you take as a result and the

only reason they want to label is

because it's shorthand for other people

to understand not cuz it's true they

just want to say he had a bad shot and

so they take your whole life and they

just say bad that's not true there's

more Nuance to it I prefer to think of

ideals and think of taking steps towards

those ideals and since ideals are not

binary of like he is courageous or he is

not courageous but how courageous is he

or how patient is he not impatient or

patient but how much then I know the

values that I want to embody and then I

just take steps towards those every day

with the actions I take and so if I'm

deciding do I want to take this action I

say which action aligns most with the

values that would have EMB body and then

I try to do that so rather than being

like Alex is patient i' be like Alex

attempts to act in accordance with the

value of patience and sometimes fall

short but dries his Darkness