30 Things No One Tells You When You Turn 40

Summary

This video script offers 30 insightful pieces of advice for those approaching or in their 40s, highlighting the importance of cherishing loved ones, maintaining physical health, and nurturing a positive mindset. It emphasizes the value of hard work, self-esteem, and surrounding oneself with younger individuals to stay motivated. The speaker shares personal reflections on life, love, and legacy, advocating for a life well-lived, with a focus on health, personal growth, and meaningful relationships.

Takeaways

• 🌟 Increased funeral attendance is an inevitable part of aging, highlighting the importance of cherishing loved ones.
• 💪 A noticeable divide appears between those who've maintained their health and those who haven't, becoming more apparent with age.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Priorities shift in exercise from results to injury prevention as one enters their 40s, emphasizing the importance of mobility and proper form.
• 😁 Maintaining optimism and happiness in the face of aging is a trainable skill that significantly impacts one's quality of life.
• 🚫 The path to self-esteem is through following through on commitments, reinforcing the value of accountability.
• 🛤️ Choosing the hard path in life leads to ease, whereas the easy path often results in hardship, advocating for embracing challenges.
• 🧘‍♂️ As age progresses, the significance of mobility, stretching, and proper weightlifting form becomes more crucial for maintaining agility.
• 🌱 Surrounding oneself with younger individuals can be a source of motivation and a window into evolving trends.
• 🚫 Status games are detrimental to contentment, as they foster a sense of insufficiency and dissatisfaction.
• 💞 Parental love is often expressed non-verbally through actions rather than words, requiring a deeper understanding of their intentions.
• 🔗 Inner freedom arises from the courage to be disliked, promoting authenticity and independence from others' opinions.

Q & A

What is one significant change people experience when they turn 40?

One significant change is attending more funerals as people around you start to pass away, emphasizing the importance of cherishing loved ones.

How does the divide between those who take care of their bodies and those who don't become apparent at the age of 40?

The divide becomes evident in their faces and bodies, where differences in health, fitness, and overall physical appearance are noticeable.

What shifts in priorities when it comes to working out as one transitions from their 30s to 40s?

The priority shifts from focusing on results to injury prevention, placing more importance on maintaining a healthy body over achieving physical milestones.

Why is maintaining optimism and happiness important as we age?

Optimism and happiness are important because they contribute to a more fulfilling life, as opposed to becoming bitter and pessimistic, which can lead to a less satisfying existence.

How does self-esteem relate to following through on commitments?

Self-esteem is boosted by doing what you say you will do, as it reinforces trust in one's own abilities and decisions.

What is the significance of choosing the hard path in life?

Choosing the hard path leads to a more rewarding life, as it often results in personal growth and the achievement of long-term goals that are typically harder to attain.

Why is it beneficial to associate with younger people as you age?

Younger people can keep you motivated, introduce you to new trends, and help maintain a fresh perspective on the world.

What are the dangers of engaging in status games?

Status games can lead to discontentment and a constant feeling of inadequacy, as they encourage comparison and competition rather than personal satisfaction.

How can parents express their love without verbalizing it?

Parents can express love through actions such as cooking, sacrificing, and providing for their children, even if they do not verbally say 'I love you'.

What is the 'green box' exercise recommended for parents?

The 'green box' exercise involves organizing and documenting important information such as funeral preferences and asset allocation to make things easier for children when the parent passes away.

What is the difference between service friends and funeral friends?

Service friends are those who are there for the ride and are transactional, while funeral friends are those who would genuinely pay their respects at your funeral, indicating a deeper bond.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Life Lessons Upon Turning 40

This paragraph discusses the unexpected realities and lessons one encounters after turning 40. It highlights the inevitability of attending more funerals, the physical divide between those who maintain their health and those who don't, the shift in priorities from results to injury prevention in workouts, the importance of optimism, the value of doing hard things, the significance of mobility and proper exercise, the benefits of surrounding oneself with younger individuals, the pitfalls of status games, the diverse ways parents express love, the importance of being prepared for one's own death, the distinction between service and funeral friends, the insight gained by observing how people treat service staff, the futility of aiming for small goals over big ones, the impact of smartphone usage on life, the necessity of showing up and doing the work for success, the importance of managing one's emotions, and refraining from using age as an excuse for inaction.

05:00

🚀 Embracing Life and Aging Gracefully

The second paragraph emphasizes the importance of embracing life as it is, with all its uncertainties and opportunities. It encourages individuals to seize the moment and pursue their desires, recognizing that they will never be as young as they are now. It stresses the value of continuous learning to combat aging and mental atrophy, the control one has over their reactions to life's events, the perspective that death provides on life's priorities, the futility of sharing goals verbally without action, and the analogy of the body as a house that requires maintenance and improvement. The speaker shares their personal goal of living to 100 and reflects on the value of these lessons, hoping they provide guidance and meaning to viewers of all ages.

Keywords

💡Aging

The process of growing older, which is a central theme of the video. It discusses the physical and emotional changes that occur as one reaches 40 and beyond, such as attending more funerals and experiencing a divide between those who have maintained their health and those who haven't. The video emphasizes the importance of cherishing loved ones and maintaining a positive outlook as one ages.

💡Self-esteem

Self-esteem refers to an individual's overall sense of self-worth or personal value. In the context of the video, it is derived from following through on commitments and actions. The speaker suggests that fulfilling promises made to oneself is crucial for maintaining a healthy self-esteem.

💡Optimism

Optimism is a mental attitude reflecting a belief or hope that the outcome of some specific endeavor, or outcomes in general, will be positive, favorable, or successful. The video encourages viewers to cultivate optimism and happiness as they age, rather than succumbing to bitterness and pessimism, which can come naturally with the passage of time.

💡Hard work

Hard work is the effort put forth to achieve a goal or complete a task, often requiring dedication and perseverance. In the video, hard work is presented as a necessary path to success and satisfaction in life, with the idea that choosing the difficult path makes life easier in the long run.

💡Mobility

Mobility refers to the ability to move freely and easily, which is particularly important as one gets older. The video stresses the significance of mobility exercises and stretching to maintain flexibility and a nimble body, which are crucial for overall health and quality of life.

💡Inner Freedom

Inner freedom is a state of mental and emotional independence where an individual is not controlled by external opinions or the desire for approval. The video suggests that having the courage to be disliked is a key aspect of achieving inner freedom, which leads to a more authentic and content life.

💡Status Games

Status games refer to social interactions where individuals compete for recognition, status, or prestige. The video warns against engaging in status games, as they can lead to a perpetual state of discontent and a feeling of insufficiency, preventing true happiness and satisfaction.

💡Parental Love

Parental love is the affection and care that parents have for their children, which can be expressed in various ways beyond verbal expressions. The video highlights that different generations may show love differently, such as through actions like cooking or sacrifices, and that the absence of verbal affirmations does not mean a lack of love.

💡Green Box Exercise

The green box exercise is a planning tool mentioned in the video where individuals organize and document their wishes for their funeral, investments, and asset distribution. This exercise aims to simplify the process for loved ones after one's passing, ensuring that their preferences are known and respected.

💡Service Friends vs. Funeral Friends

This concept differentiates between two types of friends based on their level of commitment and support. Service friends are those who are there for the ride and engage in transactional relationships, while funeral friends are those who would travel from anywhere to attend your funeral, signifying a deeper and more meaningful bond.

💡Emotional Management

Emotional management refers to the ability to handle and regulate one's emotions in healthy and constructive ways. The video emphasizes that blaming others for one's emotions is a sign of poor emotional management and suggests that individuals should learn to deal with their emotions responsibly to avoid such blame.

💡Age as an Excuse

Using age as an excuse is the act of attributing one's inability or unwillingness to do something to the mere fact of getting older. The video discourages this behavior, urging individuals to avoid making excuses and to take responsibility for their actions or inactions.

💡Lifelong Learning

Lifelong learning is the ongoing, voluntary, and self-motivated pursuit of knowledge for personal or professional reasons. The video stresses that continuing to learn new things is essential to prevent mental atrophy and to lead a fulfilling life, suggesting that stopping learning can lead to a life of quiet desperation.

Highlights

As you age, you'll attend more funerals, so cherish loved ones while they're here.

A noticeable divide appears between those who've cared for their bodies and those who haven't, especially in their 40s.

In your 40s, the focus of working out shifts from results to injury prevention.

Optimism and happiness become more challenging but are essential to cultivate as you age.

Self-esteem comes from following through on commitments.

Choosing the hard path in life leads to ease, while the easy path leads to hardship.

Importance of mobility, stretching, and lifting weights with good form to maintain flexibility and nimbleness in aging.

Surrounding yourself with younger people can keep you motivated and updated with trends.

Avoid status games as they prevent contentment and feelings of sufficiency.

Different generations express love in non-verbal ways, but it's still significant.

Prepare a 'green box' to organize your affairs for your family's ease.

Distinguish between service friends and funeral friends to understand true connections.

Assess a person's character by how they treat service staff.

Pursuing big goals requires the same effort as small ones, so dream big.

Excessive smartphone use can lead to a less fulfilling life; strive for balance.

Success involves showing up, doing the work, and constantly seeking improvement.

Being easily offended makes one easily manipulated; manage emotions responsibly.

Stop using age as an excuse; if you won't do something, be honest about it.

Continuous learning is crucial to prevent mental atrophy and live a vibrant life.

You can't control events, but you can control your reactions to them.

Keeping your body in good shape is like maintaining and improving your house; it requires effort.

Transcripts

30 things no one tells you when you turn

40 number one when you turn 40 no one

tells you that you are going to be going

to more funerals this number is just

going to accelerate as you get older

people around you that you love they

will pass at some point in time so you

must do everything you can to cherish

them while they are here number two at

40 you are going to see a massive divide

between the people who have taken care

of their bodies and the people who have

not and you will see this specifically

on their face and bodies number three

when you're working out in your 20s and

30s it is results first and injury

prevention second when you get to your

40s that inverts it is injury prevention

first and results second number four as

you age it becomes easier to become

bitter and pessimistic being optimistic

and happy is hard but it is something

that we can train and it is much better

to be happier and optimistic as you age

than it is to be bitter and pessim istic

five self-esteem comes from doing the

thing that you said you were going to do

when you said you were going to do it

six if you choose the easy path then

life is going to be hard if you choose

the hard path then life is going to be

easy everything you want is on the other

side of hard things train yourself to do

hard things seven the older you get the

more important it is to do Mobility

stretching and also to be lifting

weights with good form in full ranges of

motion these are one of the best ways to

keep your flexibility and they're one of

the best ways to keep your body Nimble

impliable as you age number eight it may

hurt your ego a lot but you want to be

hanging around younger people younger

people keep you motivated and they also

keep you on top of trends that are

changing the world number nine the worst

games to play on this planet are status

games if you play these games you were

never going to be content and you will

never feel like you were enough 10 our

parents especially in my generation had

a different way of saying I love you

some said it through cooking you food

others said it through sacrificing just

because they didn't verbalize it to you

doesn't mean that they didn't show it to

you in other ways 11 inner Freedom means

Having the courage to be disliked 12

stay away from people who put money and

Status over everything eventually you

are going to get caught in the crossfire

13 this is for if you are a parent you

want to do what is called the green box

exercise which is is you want to have a

box preferably hit screen and you want

to put everything in order from how you

want your funeral to go to where your

Investments and where your assets are

going to go you want to make it as easy

as possible for your children to know

exactly what to do when you eventually

pass 13 in life you're going to have

service friends and you're going to have

funeral friends service friends are just

there for the ride they are

transactional funeral friends are people

who would travel from any anywhere in

the world to go to your funeral in order

to pay respects funeral friends are your

true friends 14 you can get a great read

on the quality of a person by how they

treat service staff the greatest measure

of anyone is how they treat people that

can do absolutely nothing for them 15 it

takes the same amount of effort to

achieve big goals as it does to achieve

small ones this is a message to keep

thinking as big as humanly possible and

to take actions towards achieving your

Big Dreams 16 the average person spends

7 hours a day on their smartphones and

if you are 40 years old and you live

until 90 you will have spent at least 11

plus years on your smartphone so one of

the things that you want to do is have a

life that is outside of your smartphone

and I understand the complete irony of

the fact that you may be actually

watching this on your smartphone and I

did an entire video on the dangers of

smartphone addiction and how to

eliminate it and you can check it out

over here so 17 the first step to

success is showing up you can't achieve

anything if you're not in the arena 18

the second step to success is doing the

work you won't see results if you don't

do the thing 19 the final step to

achieving anything you want in this

world is to always look for ways to

improve you compound returns by getting

1% better every single day 20 being

easily offended means that you are

easily manipulated 21 never blame your

emotions on another person you are the

one that is feeling the emotion

ultimately your emotions are your

responsibility point three a massive

part of being human is learning how to

manage your emotions in healthy ways

this is using exercise journaling even

therapy even walking but you want to

learn how to deal with your emotions in

healthy ways so you don't end up blaming

other people for your emotions 24 stop

using your age as an excuse to not do

the things that you weren't going to do

in the first place in fact don't use

excuses at all if you're not going to do

it don't make an excuse just say you're

not going to do it 25 a good Mantra to

adopt in life is to tell yourself that

you are never going to be as young as

you are right now this means that as

long as you're not hurting another

person and need to go and do the thing

that you want to do to go and do the

activities to go and achieve the goals

whatever it is you are never going to be

as young as you are right now so go do

it number 26 if you stop learning new

things you were going to age faster the

biggest principle to this life and also

to delaying and preventing age is to

keep on learning new things to force

yourself to learn new things if you stop

this then you're going to atrophy your

brain and eventually you're just going

to live a life of quiet desperation 27

you can't control what happens to you

but you can control your reactions to it

as the Buddhist says you can't control

the first Arrow when it hits you but the

second arrow is one that you can control

which is your reaction to the event 28

the best way to get the most out of this

life is to remind yourself that you are

eventually going to die most people

treat death as this thing that they're

trying to avoid when the reality is it's

the ultimate form of Parkinson's law

death is a feature of life more so than

it is a bug 29 do not tell people your

goals do not even tell them what you're

going to do show them through your

actions if I were to make any judgment

on anyone in this world I would not look

at the things that they say I would

always look at the things that they do

because that is what makes a person and

the final one is you live in one house

for the rest of your life and that house

is your body so you need to do

everything you can to maintain it to

clean it and also the really cool thing

about the body is is that you can make

renovations to it as well you can lift

weights you can raise your V2 Max so you

can live longer you can do Mobility

stretches so you can keep Nimble

impliable there are so many things that

you can do in order to make this house

that is your body the best place to live

in and the only thing that you got to do

is expend the effort to make it happen

so this year I'm turning 45 years old

and this is what I would consider to be

just before middle age I mean for me one

of my goals is to live to 100 now the

reason why I created this video is

because in the past 4 months I've lost

three people that have been closest to

me to various causes and it really puts

the concept of life right up to your

face actually helps me divide what is

most important and what is not important

and that's the reason why I created this

video so I hope you got value out of

this and I hope you take some of these

to heart I hope you use these to guide

your life whether you're 20 30 40 50 or

60 doesn't matter I hope these have

given you value and if you got this far

into the video please subscribe to the

video we really appreciate it and I'll

see you on the next one peace