Why Therapy Sucks For Men

Summary

In this video, a male psychiatrist explores why therapy can be challenging for men, citing systemic biases that make it difficult for them to engage. Historically, psychotherapy has been predominantly utilized and developed for women, which may not align with men's emotional expression and problem-solving approaches. The speaker suggests that men often deal with emotions through action rather than discussion. He recommends men try therapy, being open about their communication style, and considering body-oriented therapies or men's groups for emotional health.

Takeaways

• 👨‍⚕️ The speaker, a male psychiatrist, acknowledges that therapy can be less effective for men due to systemic biases in the field of psychotherapy.
• 🔍 Historically, psychotherapy has been predominantly utilized and developed for women, with about 60-70% of patients and therapists being female.
• 🧠 Men tend to externalize their emotions through actions rather than internalize and articulate them, leading to different therapeutic needs compared to women.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Men are often diagnosed with externalizing disorders like addiction or antisocial personality disorder, which are linked to behaviors rather than feelings.
• 💬 Men may feel at a disadvantage in therapy settings, especially in couples counseling, due to their socialization to be less expressive with emotions.
• 🤝 Men express positive emotions differently, often using negative expressions or actions as a form of bonding or showing care.
• 🤔 The concept of 'normative male alexithymia' is introduced, suggesting that men may struggle with identifying and verbalizing their emotions.
• 🤝 Physical touch, like hugs, can be more healing for men in therapy compared to just talking, highlighting the importance of physicality in emotional expression.
• 🧘‍♂️ Somatic therapies, which include physical elements, and activities like Tai Chi or yoga are recommended as they can be effective for men's emotional health.
• 👥 Men's groups that engage in physical and emotional activities together are emerging as an alternative or complement to traditional therapy.

Q & A

Why does the speaker believe that therapy might not be as effective for men?

The speaker believes therapy might not be as effective for men due to systemic biases that make it hard for men to engage in therapy, including the historical majority of psychotherapy patients and therapists being women, leading to a model of therapy that may not be as tailored to men's emotional expression and problem-solving styles.

What percentage of psychotherapy patients are women, according to the speaker?

About 60 to 70 percent of psychotherapy patients are women.

How does the speaker suggest men typically deal with their emotions?

Men typically deal with their emotions by acting on them or trying to solve the problem causing the emotion, rather than articulating or talking about it.

What is 'normative male alexithymia' as mentioned in the script?

'Normative male alexithymia' refers to the idea that it is common for men to be less aware of their internal emotional states and have difficulty expressing their feelings, which is a concept the speaker suggests men should be aware of when engaging in therapy.

Why might men feel outgunned in couples counseling, as per the speaker's experience?

Men might feel outgunned in couples counseling because they often struggle to articulate their feelings as effectively as their partners, leading to a perception that they are less capable of making their case in a therapeutic setting.

What alternative therapies does the speaker recommend for men to consider?

The speaker recommends considering somatic therapies like Tai Chi, yoga, EMDR, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique or tapping), as they incorporate the body and can be effective for emotional health.

How does the speaker suggest men communicate positive affection towards each other?

Men often communicate positive affection through negative expressions, such as teasing or playful insults, which can be confusing in a therapeutic context that expects direct emotional expression.

What does the speaker suggest as a first step for men who are considering therapy?

The speaker suggests that men should seek psychotherapy if they are struggling, but also be prepared to see at least three therapists to find the right fit and communicate openly about their needs and challenges.

Why does the speaker think it's important for men to be physically active in managing their emotions?

The speaker believes that many emotions are physically experienced by men, and physical activities like exercise or body-oriented therapies can help manage and express these emotions effectively.

What is the role of physical touch, like hugging, in therapy according to the speaker's observations?

The speaker has observed that physical touch, such as hugging, can lead to significant emotional healing and expression in male patients, suggesting that physical connection is an important aspect of therapy for men.

What is the speaker's stance on the effectiveness of psychotherapy for men?

Despite acknowledging potential biases and challenges, the speaker maintains that psychotherapy is still an evidence-based and effective approach for men's mental health and encourages men to give it a try, with some adjustments and considerations.