Emotional & Invisible labour - Why Women Are Fed Up & Tired

Summary

This video delves into the concept of emotional and invisible labor, tasks often undertaken by women outside of their paid employment. The speaker discusses how these labors, including household maintenance and emotional support, are frequently unrecognized and unappreciated. Despite societal shifts towards gender equality, the burden often remains on women to perform this crucial, yet often invisible, work. The video calls for acknowledgment and support for this labor, emphasizing the importance of valuing traditionally feminine qualities in today's society.

Takeaways

• 📚 Emotional and invisible labor refer to the tasks and work carried out outside of one's day job, often by women in relationships.
• 🏡 These tasks include household maintenance, childcare, emotional support, and caring for sick relatives, which are crucial but often go unappreciated.
• 💔 The emotional toll of this labor can be high, with women experiencing stress and exhaustion due to the lack of recognition and support.
• 🌐 The speaker suggests that society undervalues the nurturing and caring work traditionally associated with femininity, favoring more individualistic and entrepreneurial pursuits.
• 🔄 Historically, feminine energy and nurturing roles were more respected, with a shift away from this appreciation in modern times.
• 🌱 The speaker calls for a revaluation and celebration of feminine qualities and the emotional labor they entail, which are essential for societal well-being.
• 🚺 Women are encouraged to speak up about the emotional labor they perform and seek support when it becomes overwhelming.
• 🤝 Men and society at large are urged to recognize and support the emotional labor done by women, fostering a more balanced and respectful dynamic.
• 📖 The script references a book and a podcast that delve deeper into the topic of emotional labor, suggesting further resources for those interested.
• 🐾 The speaker shares a personal anecdote about her cat, illustrating the everyday nature of emotional labor and its demands.

Q & A

What are emotional and invisible labor?

Emotional and invisible labor refer to tasks and work carried out outside of one's day job, often involving household maintenance, childcare, emotional support, and other responsibilities that are not typically recognized or compensated by society.

Why are these terms becoming more discussed?

These terms are gaining more attention as people, particularly women, are speaking out about the imbalance and lack of recognition for the significant amount of work they perform in maintaining households and providing emotional support, which often goes unseen and unappreciated.

Why are women often the ones carrying out emotional and invisible labor?

Historically and in many cultures, women have been assigned the role of caregivers and nurturers, leading to them often taking on the majority of emotional and invisible labor. This is also influenced by societal expectations and gender norms.

How does emotional and invisible labor affect women who also work full-time?

Women who work full-time jobs in addition to their emotional and invisible labor can experience significant stress and exhaustion due to the dual burden. This can lead to an imbalance in their personal and professional lives, as they are expected to manage both paid work and unpaid domestic responsibilities.

What are some examples of emotional labor mentioned in the script?

Examples of emotional labor include managing the tough emotional aspects of parenting, providing support to friends or family members going through difficult times, and being there for someone who has received a serious illness diagnosis.

How does the script suggest men and other people in our lives can support those carrying out emotional and invisible labor?

The script suggests that men and others can support by recognizing the importance of this labor, understanding its impact, and stepping up to share the responsibilities. This includes acknowledging the emotional load and providing practical help and emotional support.

What is the significance of the term 'invisible labor'?

The term 'invisible labor' signifies that this type of work is often not seen or appreciated by society at large. It implies that the contributions made through emotional and domestic labor are essential but frequently overlooked.

How does the script relate the concept of emotional and invisible labor to broader societal issues?

The script connects emotional and invisible labor to societal issues by highlighting the lack of recognition and appreciation for traditionally feminine roles and the impact this has on mental health, gender equality, and the overall well-being of communities.

What historical perspectives does the script provide on the appreciation of feminine energy?

The script references historical and mythological contexts where feminine energy was revered, such as in pre-Christian Britain with druidic practices and Native American cultures, suggesting a historical shift in the valuation of feminine roles and energies.

Why is it important for women to be recognized for their emotional and invisible labor?

Recognition is important because it validates the significant contributions women make to society and家庭, and it helps to address the imbalance and stress they may experience. It also promotes a more equitable distribution of labor and fosters a society that values care and nurturing work.

What are some ways the script suggests women can communicate their needs for support?

The script suggests that women should openly communicate their struggles and needs to their partners or family members, asking for acknowledgment and support in specific areas where they feel overwhelmed.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Emotional and Invisible Labor: The Unseen Work

The speaker introduces the topic of emotional and invisible labor, explaining that these are tasks and work carried out outside of regular employment. Often, these responsibilities, such as household maintenance, childcare, and emotional support, are disproportionately shouldered by women. The speaker suggests that this labor, while essential, is frequently unappreciated and invisible to society at large. The video aims to discuss the challenges faced by women in managing these tasks and how others can support them.

05:03

🚀 The Challenge of Balancing Work and Emotional Labor

The speaker discusses the historical and contemporary expectations placed on women to perform emotional and invisible labor, even as they also engage in paid work. The paragraph highlights the societal imbalance where women are expected to manage both professional responsibilities and the bulk of domestic and emotional tasks. It also touches on the broader societal implications of undervaluing this type of labor and the importance of recognizing and respecting the nurturing and caring roles that women play.

10:04

🌱 The Importance of Recognizing and Valuing Feminine Energy

The speaker emphasizes the need to respect and honor the feminine energy and the nurturing roles that women often play in society. She argues that these roles are essential for societal stability and well-being, yet they are often overlooked and undervalued. The speaker calls for a societal shift to acknowledge and celebrate the contributions of women in emotional and invisible labor, suggesting that this is a critical step towards gender equality and societal health.

15:06

🔗 Seeking Support and Acknowledgment in Emotional Labor

The speaker concludes by discussing the importance of support and acknowledgment for women who perform emotional and invisible labor. She encourages open communication about the challenges and the need for help, advocating for a partnership where both men and women can share these responsibilities. The speaker also shares her personal experience of having a supportive partner and calls for a societal return to valuing feminine power, as seen in historical and indigenous cultures.

Keywords

💡Emotional Labor

Emotional labor refers to the work of managing one's own emotions and the emotions of others, often in a caregiving or interpersonal context. In the video, it is discussed as a significant part of the invisible labor that women frequently undertake, such as providing emotional support to family and friends, managing household dynamics, and dealing with the emotional aspects of parenting. The script mentions how this labor is often invisible and unappreciated, leading to a lack of recognition for the emotional toll it takes.

💡Invisible Labor

Invisible labor encompasses the tasks and responsibilities that are not typically recognized or compensated, often falling outside of traditional definitions of work. The video script uses this term to describe the unpaid, often domestic, work that women perform, such as childcare, household maintenance, and emotional support. It is called 'invisible' because it is not typically acknowledged or valued in the same way that paid employment is.

💡Gender Roles

Gender roles are the societal norms and expectations about how men and women should behave, often influencing the division of labor and responsibilities within households and society. The video discusses how traditional gender roles have historically assigned emotional and invisible labor to women, leading to an imbalance and a lack of recognition for this type of work.

💡Feminine Energy

Feminine energy, as mentioned in the video, refers to the nurturing, empathetic, and caring qualities that are stereotypically associated with women. The speaker argues for the recognition and celebration of these qualities as a form of power and a valuable contribution to society, rather than seeing them as less important than traditionally masculine traits.

💡Masculine World

The term 'masculine world' is used in the script to describe a society that values traditionally masculine traits such as assertiveness, competitiveness, and individual achievement over traditionally feminine traits. The video suggests that this bias leads to a lack of appreciation for emotional and invisible labor, which are often devalued in favor of more visible, career-oriented achievements.

💡Recognition

Recognition, in the context of the video, refers to the acknowledgment and appreciation of the emotional and invisible labor that women perform. The speaker argues that this labor is crucial for the functioning of society but is often overlooked, and that greater recognition of this work is necessary for achieving a more balanced and equitable distribution of responsibilities.

💡Support

Support in the video script refers to the assistance and understanding that women need from their partners, family, and society at large to help manage the emotional and invisible labor they undertake. The speaker emphasizes the importance of having open conversations about the burdens of this labor and seeking support to prevent burnout and ensure a more equitable division of tasks.

💡Work-Life Balance

Work-life balance is the concept of maintaining a healthy equilibrium between professional responsibilities and personal life. The video discusses how women often struggle to achieve this balance due to the additional burden of emotional and invisible labor on top of their paid employment, leading to potential stress and burnout.

💡Feminism

Feminism is a social and political movement advocating for gender equality and women's rights. The video touches on different perspectives within feminism, with the speaker identifying as a feminist who values both the opportunity for women to succeed in traditionally male-dominated areas and the importance of celebrating and respecting traditionally feminine qualities and roles.

💡Cultural Shift

Cultural shift refers to changes in societal values and norms over time. The video script discusses historical and cultural shifts, such as the transition from worshipping goddesses and valuing feminine energy in ancient cultures to a modern world that often undervalues emotional and invisible labor. The speaker calls for a return to valuing and respecting these traditionally feminine contributions to society.

Highlights

Introduction to the concept of emotional and invisible labor

Emotional and invisible labor often carried out disproportionately by women

Examples of emotional labor include household maintenance and childcare

Invisible labor encompasses tasks not typically recognized or appreciated by society

The importance of recognizing and supporting emotional labor in relationships

Historical context of women's roles and emotional labor

The challenge of balancing work, emotional labor, and societal expectations

The impact of living in a 'masculine' world on the value of emotional labor

The need for societal appreciation for traditionally feminine qualities

The importance of emotional labor in maintaining societal equilibrium

The role of emotional labor in addressing the rise in mental health issues

The need for women to be valued and seen for their emotional labor

The importance of communication and support in sharing emotional labor

The author's personal experience with emotional and invisible labor

The author's call to celebrate and respect feminine energy and emotional labor

Resources for further reading and listening on emotional labor

Encouragement for women to speak up about their emotional labor and seek support

Transcripts

hi everyone thanks for tuning in to this

week's video we are going to be going

into a interesting topic emotional and

invisible labor so you may never have

even heard of those terms or you may

have just recently heard about them

because they're getting discussed a

little bit more so I want to talk about

both of those things they kind of are

two things that are joined together two

sides of the same coin and what it

basically means is emotional and

invisible labor are the tasks and the

work we carry out outside of our day

jobs our day to day pick up a paycheck

kind of work these are the tasks and the

labor that go on outside of that they

are often I mean god I could get some

terrible feedback for saying this but I

genuinely do believe that these tasks

are more often than not carried out by

women by females who are in hatched

sexual relationships or if you are in a

same-sex relationship normally someone

picks up this role and it's the women

out there of the world that are really

carrying the weight and doing the lion's

share of this sort of work from all of

my research and in my personal opinion

of what I see so we're going to be

talking mostly about what the women are

going through but also as well about how

the men in our lives and the other

people in our lives can support us in

this work and realize how important it

is and you know a few examples of what

this sort of work looks like it's the

stuff that we take on like the household

maintenance the childcare the parent the

you know the tough emotional side of the

parenting the shopping list fee to fix

this in the house the doctor's

appointments the hospital appointments

the friend or family member that's

through a difficult time and needs that

emotional support oh that person you

know who's just got a cancer diagnosis

or an illness and you are there stepping

in to give that emotional support and to

be that rock in that person's life so

they're the kind of things that

emotional labor involves and you know it

can be a lot to carry all of that and

it's often work that I think like the

the title invisible labor kind of

insinuates is that it's work that's not

really seen or appreciated by wider

society that's where the issue lies for

me is that this work that's going on

this tireless this highly energetic work

that women are doing emotionally and

physically but a lot of it is emotional

is really really taxing and there's not

that appreciation and that recognition

for what women go through and what women

do on a day to day basis to keep the

cogs turning and to keep people happy

and everything in equilibrium which is

what we spend a lot of our time doing me

included and so this emotional invisible

labor topic is coming more and more to

the front because women are actually

speaking out and stepping up and saying

this is a big task in my life and there

are times when it's too much and there's

not that recognition and there's not

that support that we all need to carry

on doing something so it's a really

interesting topic where I think there's

a lot of different emotions going on

there's anger there's bitterness the

sadness there's feistiness and there's

also a lot of love and care and

nourishment and all of these different

swirling things going on around this

topic which is what I really want to dig

into today look

into the past looking at where we are

now and looking at where we could go

with this in the future so I feel like

in the past you know women whatever

we've got to say about how the world has

changed many obviously amazing things

that women can be financially

independent they can hold their own in

the workplace they can give so much and

women are doing that now lots of women

are working part-time or full-time same

as a counterpart male and they are doing

all of that work which has huge benefits

but it also is a challenge when women

are also still the primary emotional and

invisible laborers in life so you know

only you go into work and doing your

9:00 to 5:00 or whatever it is that

you're doing put in those hours in but

you're also coming home and doing the

majority of the emotional labor and the

invisible labor in the household within

the family amongst the wider community

so that's where challenges arise because

there are imbalances and the seen work

is not all that's going on the invisible

work that's going on underneath that is

just not getting the recognition that it

deserves so previously when women didn't

go out to work and women stayed at home

the kind of the labor and the household

the emotional labor and all the

invisible labor would have been pretty

much a full-time job for that woman

around child care as well so all of

those tasks are still often falling to

women too to carry out as well as being

at work full-time which is tough like

it's really hard we also live in a very

in my opinion well it's not just in my

opinion come on we all know that we live

in a very masculine world and it's very

driven and it in terms of like from an

energetic perspective if you've got yin

and you've got young it's very it's very

young in energy so what we are giving a

of all an appreciation and respect for

and status in today's world often is

this idea of going out and making your

mark on the world and it's very

individualistic about what you can do

ask this kind of entrepreneur or this

vision of going out and making money and

that's how people gain a lot of status

or doing well and being successful in

their career

whereas people that are giving much of

their lives to helping and caring for

other people and nurturing and doing all

of those sorts of tasks all the kind of

full fee stuff as I like to call it and

I don't like to call it but that's often

what it's seen as is not giving that

same level of respect and

acknowledgement and appreciation which i

think is a massive issue when it comes

to emotional labor and invisible labor

because these tasks are the bedrock of

society so caring for people and

nurturing children and caring for the

elderly and relatives and sick people

and keeping a household go in these are

the bedrocks of life and if women just

decided that they weren't going to do

those things anymore because they

weren't getting paid then you know

society would crumble the pressure on

external systems would be huge and it

just wouldn't work so it's really

important that we have a voice and we

can say you know we deserve to have

respect and to be appreciated for this

work that we are doing in the world

women have this phenomenal gift this

nurturing energy this feminine power and

empathy and warmth and sensitivity that

is so needed right now it's a huge it's

hugely missing in the world and I think

that's where a lot of the issues that

we're seeing now

are coming from this this lack of

appreciation for the feminine and that's

not just from men that's also from the

wider discussion around sort of certain

elements of feminism even I would

describe myself as a feminist I believe

that everyone should have the equal

opportunity to go out and do things in

the world but that doesn't mean I want

to be the same as a man and I don't see

that there's value in those nurturing

feminine traditionally more feminine

qualities and I want to celebrate those

in myself and I know a lot of feminists

don't think that that's a bad thing it's

just this certain element of feminism

that can be seen like that so it's it's

it's really interesting like how things

have changed so for example in history

and going back even into mythology and

all of the different things within the

country I'm from within England with you

know the before Christianity and druids

and we used to worship goddesses and

there was a huge respect and devotion to

the goddess energy and the feminine

energy and then that has slowly over

time dissipated and gone away and and

now it's almost seen as a weak kind of

unproductive battle you often is that as

how its presented or it has been for me

throughout my life and then we go over

to America and we can see that how much

has changed since Native American

culture you know would have very much

worshipped the feminine aspects of wife

and would have highly valued what the

females in the tribe or different

communities could bring and the balance

that that gave and how important that

was and I think

that's something where we've really come

away from that in the present day now as

we've already said with the way that the

energy flows and what is appreciated and

what's respected and caring work is only

going to become more and more important

the amount of mental health issues that

people are presenting with you know we

can't expect external systems to take

that arm it's it's the work that a lot

of women are going to be picking up and

women are going to be doing the lion's

share of that work and I don't want to

say that that's a bad thing necessarily

because this is our gift as women you

know I'm really kind of talking in

generalized terms here because obviously

there will be some men that are also

incredible at doing this work and

there'll be some women that you know

this isn't their strength but as a

general whole you know women have these

phenomenal gifts and they should be able

to share them but they in my opinion

need to be respected they need to be

honored it's not that women want a

fanfare in a red carpet or necessarily

like a monetary exchange for doing this

work but we need to be valued and seen

and respected by other women by wider

society and by the men in our lives and

there are going to be times when it will

be too much for us you know the

emotional load on top of say working a

full-time job childcare caring for

family giving emotional support to to

friends and other people

it's absolutely exhausting at times and

I think that we need to be in a place

where we can say to our partner whether

that's a male or female or another male

we need to be able to say to them you

know I am really struggling right now I

feel like I'm overwhelmed with all of

the kind of labor that I'm doing I'm

working and then I'm doing all of these

other things to support everyone I

really need you to acknowledge what I'm

doing and

to be able to talk to you about what I'm

going through and I need your support on

these certain things if you can help me

and it's about coming on it from a place

of not necessarily being kind of bitter

and angry towards people because I think

that often it's done unintentionally but

just being able to be brave and say you

know I am doing a lot of these things

and they're incredible

but I also need support from you so we

also need to be able to acknowledge and

celebrate what we're doing recognize

when we're tipping over when it's too

much and be able to go to other people

and say I really need you to see what

I'm doing and I need you to hear me and

I need you to step up and support me in

these ways that I need so it's an

interesting topic and there are lots of

people talking about it there is

somebody that's written a book on it she

wrote this article about emotional labor

that went viral so I'll post a link

below to that book that you can buy this

as a topic you're particularly

interested in and then there's also a

really good podcast with the day sugars

that Cheryl Strayed that wrote the book

Wilde and Steve almond and this woman

that wrote this book was on their

podcast and they were really talking

about how even in progressive

relationships which you know we're

striving for equality and we want men

and women to take 5050

it often still just falls to the women

to take up this work and take on this

role so it's definitely interesting to

delve into and see where this takes you

and if it's sparked something in you or

you feel like this it would be really

interesting to hear your opinions on it

I don't know if you can hear downstairs

but my cat is crying because she wants

me so there you go that's emotional

labor and not only do I kind of support

all of my relatives and work and you

know supporting people through different

challenges and

in hospital appointments I've also got a

cat that constantly wants to be cut all

the different attention as well and but

my husband is amazing and I just want to

point that out that and very blessed in

the sense that we do have kind of a

really good relationship when it comes

to emotional and visible labor and I

don't feel like I'm left in the lurch on

that one but you know I enjoy doing it

like I said before it's a gift it's a

feminine gift

it's our power but let's see the world

celebrate our power like Native American

tribes used to do and people in Britain

used to do and druids used to do when we

worship the goddess energy let's see

more of that coming back into society

okay thank you for listening to me talk

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new video ok see you next week thanks

guys bye