Cómo amigarse con el enojo | Maritchu Seitún de Chas | TEDxCordoba

Summary

The speaker explores the nature of emotions, particularly focusing on anger, likening emotions to an iceberg. While we are comfortable with positive emotions like joy and love, there is a 'shadow' side filled with darker emotions such as anger, fear, and jealousy. Anger, viewed as a survival emotion, is necessary for self-care but must be channeled healthily. The concept of 'healthy aggression' is introduced, where anger helps resolve situations constructively. Using examples, the speaker explains how unaddressed anger can manifest harmfully and highlights the importance of acknowledging and processing emotions for personal and relational growth.

Q & A

What analogy does the speaker use to describe emotions?

The speaker compares emotions to an iceberg, where positive emotions like joy and love are visible above the surface, and darker emotions like anger and fear are hidden beneath.

Why are emotions like anger considered a 'survival emotion' by the speaker?

Anger is viewed as a survival emotion because it helps people protect themselves and set boundaries. Without anger, individuals may neglect their own needs and safety.

What is the difference between 'healthy aggression' and destructive anger, according to the speaker?

Healthy aggression, or 'good anger,' is anger that leads to productive outcomes, such as setting boundaries or solving problems, without harming others. Destructive anger, in contrast, manifests in impulsive, violent, or harmful actions.

How does the speaker illustrate the concept of 'healthy aggression' using Mother Teresa as an example?

The speaker explains that Mother Teresa's ability to accomplish so much was driven by her connection to her 'healthy aggression.' This inner strength allowed her to act decisively and achieve her humanitarian goals.

Why does the speaker suggest that women might struggle more with expressing anger than men?

The speaker points out that society often gives men more permission to express anger, while women are taught to suppress it, making it harder for them to connect with their own emotions and assert their needs.

What are the dangers of repressing anger, according to the speaker?

Repressing anger can lead to it building up and manifesting in unhealthy ways, such as unexpected emotional outbursts or physical symptoms like anxiety, irritability, or even illness.

How does the speaker suggest people should approach and deal with their anger?

The speaker advises people to first acknowledge and accept their anger, recognizing that it is a valid feeling. Once accepted, they can then work through it to find constructive ways of responding to the situation.

Why does the speaker argue that anger is not the opposite of love?

The speaker argues that anger is often felt towards people we care about and is a way to defend our values and boundaries. Indifference, not anger, is the real opposite of love because it indicates a lack of emotional connection.

What does the speaker mean by saying 'feeling is not the same as doing'?

The speaker emphasizes that just because someone feels anger or another strong emotion, it doesn’t mean they need to act on it immediately or destructively. They can process the feeling before deciding on a healthy response.

How does the speaker connect the repression of emotions to the concept of 'false self' or 'overadaptation'?

The speaker explains that repressing emotions like anger can lead to a 'false self' where people present a socially acceptable, overly nice version of themselves. This disconnects them from their true feelings, undermining self-esteem.