Going to the Heart of an Emotion

Summary

The transcript explores the concept of 'I' or self in response to hurtful words. It delves into the nature of awareness, distinguishing it from the physical body and thoughts. The speaker guides listeners to examine the source of upset, challenging the existence of a separate, upset self. The dialogue suggests that when one cannot identify this 'I', the upset loses its foundation, leading to a natural dissipation of negative emotions. The conversation promotes self-reflection, aiming to shift one's identity from a reactive self to pure awareness, fostering responses rooted in wisdom and love.

Takeaways

• 🧘 Awareness is described as an open, empty space that is sensitive and receptive to all experiences without resistance.
• 😔 The feeling of being upset arises when there is a reaction to words or events, indicating a sense of 'I' that is separate and distinct from pure awareness.
• 🤔 The 'I' that feels hurt or upset is not the body, thoughts, or awareness itself, but rather a narrative or story we tell ourselves.
• 🔍 When one investigates the nature of this 'I', it is often found to be non-existent or fictional, a construct of the mind rather than a tangible entity.
• 🌟 The process of self-inquiry involves looking for the 'I' that is upset and realizing its non-existence, which can lead to the dissipation of upset feelings.
• 🌱 Once the illusory nature of the 'I' is recognized, the body's sensations related to upset may remain but are no longer tied to a sense of personal identity.
• 🌈 The body's natural state is one of openness and sensitivity, which can be restored by recognizing the non-existence of a separate, upset self.
• 💡 Responding from a place of awareness rather than reactivity leads to actions that are wise, loving, and understanding, rather than defensive or aggressive.
• 🎶 There is a qualitative difference between reactions that stem from a place of love and truth versus those that are driven by self-defense or ego.
• 🌟 The recognition of one's true nature as awareness can lead to a transformation in how one interacts with the world, with responses guided by wisdom and compassion.

Q & A

What is the primary difference between hearing pleasant words and hurtful words according to the script?

The primary difference lies in the response they elicit. Pleasant words like 'what a beautiful afternoon' are heard by awareness without causing any reaction, while hurtful words trigger a response of upset, indicating that something within reacts to the words.

What does the script suggest about the nature of awareness?

Awareness is described as an empty space, akin to the space in a room, which is pure sensitivity without resistance. It hears words but does not get upset because it is open to everything without judgment or reaction.

Why does the script argue that awareness cannot be upset?

Awareness cannot be upset because it is likened to an empty space that allows words to flow through without resistance. It lacks the capacity to form judgments or feelings of being wronged, which are necessary for upset to occur.

What is the 'I' that gets upset when someone says something hurtful, as per the script?

The 'I' that gets upset is not the physical body, a thought, or awareness itself. It is a sense of self that arises in response to hurtful words, but it is not a tangible entity. It is more of an imaginary construct that we identify with.

Why does the script suggest that the 'I' feeling upset is a story we tell ourselves?

The script suggests that the 'I' feeling upset is a story because it is a narrative constructed by our minds to give meaning to our experiences. This story is based on an 'I' that is separate and distinct, which is not a factual representation of our true nature.

What happens to the feeling of upset when one cannot find the 'I' that is upset, according to the script?

When one cannot find the 'I' that is upset, the script suggests that the upset loses its basis and begins to dissipate. Without the 'I' to support the feeling, it transforms from an emotional upset to a mere physical sensation.

How does the script propose that one should react to situations after realizing the non-existence of the separate 'I'?

After realizing the non-existence of the separate 'I', the script proposes that one should react with wisdom, love, and understanding. Reactions are no longer defensive or self-aggrandizing but come from a place of truth and loving response.

What is the role of the body in the experience of being upset, as described in the script?

The body experiences physical sensations like tightness in the chest or stomach as a result of being upset. However, the body itself is not upset by the words; these sensations are the echo of the emotional upset.

Why does the script encourage exploring the 'I' that is upset?

Exploring the 'I' that is upset helps in realizing that this 'I' is not a solid, existing entity but a fictional self. This realization can lead to a release of the grip that the upset feeling has on us, allowing us to return to a natural state of openness and sensitivity.

What is the significance of the script's discussion on the nature of the 'I' and awareness?

The significance lies in understanding that our reactions and emotional states are often based on a false sense of self. By recognizing this, we can shift our identity from the reactive 'I' to the open, empty awareness, leading to more enlightened and less self-centered responses to life's experiences.

Outlines

00:00

🧘‍♂️ The Nature of Awareness and the 'I'

This paragraph explores the concept of awareness and the 'I' or self in response to hurtful words. It posits that awareness, like an empty space, merely registers words without judgment or emotional response. The 'I' that feels upset is not the awareness itself but a separate entity that reacts to the words. The speaker encourages the listener to introspect and question the nature of this 'I', suggesting that it might be a story or narrative constructed by the mind rather than a tangible entity. The discussion highlights the distinction between awareness, which is passive and receptive, and the 'I', which is active and reactive, leading to emotional responses.

05:01

🤔 The Illusion of the Upset 'I'

The second paragraph delves deeper into the idea that the 'I' which feels upset is not the physical body, thoughts, or awareness but a perceived self that arises in response to external stimuli. It suggests that the physical sensations of upset, such as tightness in the chest or stomach, are consequences of the emotional response rather than the cause. The speaker guides the listener to recognize that the 'I' that is upset is not a concrete entity but a fiction, an imaginary self that we create and identify with. The paragraph emphasizes the importance of questioning the existence of this 'I' and the realization that when one cannot find a solid identity for this 'I', the emotional upset loses its foundation and begins to dissipate.

10:03

🌟 Dissolving the Reactive Self and Embracing Awareness

The final paragraph discusses the process of recognizing the reactive self as a construct and embracing one's true nature as awareness. It explains that when the illusory self is seen as non-existent, the sensations in the body that were supporting this separate self become redundant and gradually dissipate. The speaker encourages the listener to repeatedly explore and question the existence of the upset 'I', leading to a realization of the open, empty, and peaceful nature of awareness. This realization allows for responses to situations that are not reactive but stem from wisdom, love, and understanding. The paragraph concludes with the idea that recognizing the source of one's responses as love and truth, rather than reactivity, leads to a more authentic and harmonious way of being.

Keywords

💡Awareness

Awareness in the script refers to the conscious perception of one's surroundings and internal states without judgment or reaction. It is likened to an empty space, open and receptive to all experiences. The speaker uses the concept of awareness to differentiate it from the reactive 'I' or ego, suggesting that true awareness does not get upset by external stimuli. For instance, when someone says something hurtful, it is not awareness that gets upset, but rather the ego that rises in response.

💡Upset

Upset in the script is used to describe an emotional reaction to something perceived as hurtful or offensive. The speaker explores the nature of being upset, suggesting that it is not the awareness itself that is upset, but rather the ego or 'I' that identifies with the hurtful words. The script uses the example of hearing hurtful words versus pleasant words to illustrate how the same awareness hears both, but only reacts to the hurtful ones, indicating the role of the ego in the experience of being upset.

💡Ego

Ego, as discussed in the script, represents the sense of self that is often reactive and defensive. It is the part of us that gets upset when faced with challenges or criticism. The speaker encourages the audience to question the existence of this 'I' or ego, suggesting that it is a fictional construct that we mistakenly attribute our feelings and reactions to. The script implies that when we look for this 'I', we often find that it is not a solid entity but rather a collection of thoughts and feelings.

💡Reactivity

Reactivity in the script is the automatic response that arises from the ego when it perceives a threat or challenge. It is contrasted with responses that come from a place of awareness and wisdom. The speaker uses the example of feeling upset by someone's words, which triggers a reactive 'I' that wants to defend or assert itself. The script suggests that true awareness does not react in this way, but rather observes without judgment, leading to more thoughtful and less ego-driven responses.

💡Identification

Identification in the script refers to the process of attributing experiences and emotions to a sense of self or 'I'. The speaker points out that we often identify with our thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations, mistaking them for our true selves. The script challenges this identification, suggesting that when we look for the 'I' that is upset, we find that it is not a concrete entity but rather a narrative we tell ourselves.

💡Non-existence

Non-existence, as used in the script, refers to the realization that the ego or 'I' that we believe to be the center of our identity does not actually exist as a separate, solid entity. The speaker guides the audience to explore this concept by looking for the 'I' that feels upset and finding that it is not there. This realization can lead to a shift in identity from the reactive ego to the open, aware space of consciousness.

💡Fictitious Self

The fictitious self in the script is the imagined identity that we believe to be the core of our being. It is the 'I' that we think, feel, and act on behalf of. The speaker argues that this self is not real but a construct of our thoughts and emotions. The script suggests that when we investigate this self, we find that it lacks substance and is not the true source of our being.

💡Sensitivity

Sensitivity in the script is associated with the pure, open state of awareness that is receptive to all experiences without resistance. It is contrasted with the reactive nature of the ego. The speaker describes awareness as a kind of sensitivity that is not upset by external events but simply perceives them. This sensitivity is seen as the true nature of our being, as opposed to the defensive and reactive sensitivity of the ego.

💡Empty Space

Empty space in the script is used as a metaphor for the open, unoccupied state of awareness. It is described as a space that is not filled with thoughts, emotions, or a sense of self, and therefore, it does not react to stimuli. The speaker uses this metaphor to illustrate how awareness hears words without being upset, just as an empty room does not resist a ball passing through it.

💡Response vs. Reaction

The script distinguishes between response and reaction. A response is a thoughtful, considered reaction that comes from a place of awareness and wisdom, while a reaction is an automatic, often ego-driven response to a perceived threat or challenge. The speaker suggests that when we realize the non-existence of the ego, our reactions to situations become more like responses, guided by a deeper understanding and love, rather than by a need to defend or assert the self.

💡Natural State

The natural state in the script refers to the inherent condition of being that is free from the disturbances of the ego and reactive emotions. It is described as a state of openness, sensitivity, and peace. The speaker suggests that when we let go of the fictitious self and return to this natural state, we experience a sense of well-being and are better able to respond to life's challenges with wisdom and love.

Highlights

The concept of 'I' being upset is explored through the example of hurtful words.

Awareness is likened to an empty space, unaffected by words, unlike the 'I' that feels upset.

The 'I' that is upset is not the body, as physical reactions are a result of emotional upset, not the cause.

The 'I' is not a thought, as thoughts themselves cannot be upset.

Awareness is described as open and empty, unlike the 'I' that reacts to hurtful words.

The search for the 'I' that is upset leads to the realization that it is a fictional construct.

The 'I' is not found upon introspection, suggesting it is an imaginary self.

The feeling of being upset is tied to the existence of a separate self, which is not real.

When the non-existence of the upset 'I' is realized, the upset feeling loses its reason to persist.

The physical sensations of upset, like tightness in the chest, are acknowledged as separate from the 'I'.

The residual physical sensations of upset will dissipate once the 'I' is recognized as non-existent.

The process of repeatedly exploring the 'I' leads to a transformation in identity to awareness.

Reactions from a place of awareness are characterized as wise and loving, not reactive.

The recognition of responses coming from love or truth is compared to a musician playing the right note.

The dialogue concludes with the understanding that responses are no longer from a place of reactivity but from a place of truth and love.

Transcripts

looking for the I when you have those

really strong actions come on yes how do

you okay how do you look for the I okay

let's take an example when somebody says

something to you which is hurtful and

you feel upset so what is it that is

upset that someone has said something to

you've heard some words and the words

are heard by awareness you're aware of

the words you hear them it's no

for instance if someone was to say

something like what a beautiful

afternoon it is that wouldn't upset you

okay two minutes later somebody somebody

says something which is hurtful

upsetting so what's the difference my

story like okay usually like I would be

they shouldn't have done that okay so

but what is saying that because whatever

it is that hears the words what a

beautiful afternoon those words are

heard yes this heard and there's no

response they just heard yeah now then

somebody says something which hurts you

and there is a response I'm upset by

that now what is it that is upset is

whatever it is that heard the words

upset

in other words is is awareness you know

it I understand what I mean by awareness

it is awareness upset no I mean can

aware awareness is like an empty space

yes it's imagine awareness like the

space of this room it's just pure

sensitivity it can't be upset

why not it's because it's empty there's

no there's no resistance in it in order

to be upset something has to rise up and

say no I don't like what's been said but

in the absence of this something the

words just flow through like if someone

was to throw a ball through this space

it would just flow through it wouldn't

meet with any resistance so awareness is

like that it hears the words the words

just pass through like the words what a

lovely afternoon it is it just flows

through and it doesn't leave a trace in

awareness it doesn't leave a trace in

you yes he doesn't Skye you it doesn't

hurt you now when you hear the hurtful

words something in you rises up and say

and meets the words the words are

floating through you something rises up

and clashes with the words and says I

don't like that what I is that the I

that doesn't like these words it's not

the eye of awareness yes because

awareness is like an empty space of what

I is it

but

I think it's the eye you think you are

okay but now go to that I try to find

that I what I exactly is that where is

it what's it made of

I mean you're feeling on its behalf you

call it I so you must know it where is

it what is it

what do you find when you go towards it

I guess I see it as like that story of I

don't know it's a story yeah kind of

story be upset

then it's I guess the story that that

something's wrong gets upset yes and on

whose behalf is that story being told

who is the central character in that

story me and wee bit me your point point

to your body but is your body upset by

by these words I mean he kind of kind of

upset so I get tightness in my stomach

and tightness in my chest yes yes but

but your body has not been upset by the

words the tightness in your chest or

your stomach is the result of being

upset yeah it's the echo of the upset in

your body but it's not the body itself

your cheek or your nose or your ear

doesn't get upset when you hear the

words yeah there may be an effect on

your body so but leave the after effect

could be going to the actual feeling

itself so now go back who is the one the

central character of this story the eye

that is so hurt and upset

what do you find when you go back when

you go towards yourself like a thing I

just find

I guess that's what identify as me that

somehow I've been wrong okay but what is

that I that has been wronged

we'vewe've it's not your body yes we've

already discovered it come it's not your

body it's not a thought

you can't wrong a thought yes a thought

you can't upset a thought yeah so it's

not your thought that has been upset

it's not your body that has been upset

and it's not awareness the one that

hears the words because that's just an

open empty space that is open to

everything so it's like some sense of

myself okay what is that it's not your

mind it's not your body and it's not

awareness what is it is that you go but

you don't know what it is no but your

feeling on its behalf you don't know

what it is but you spend much of your

life thinking right feeling on its

behalf you tell me you're the one that

is claiming the existence of this one

perfect you're quite right

why can't you identify it doesn't exist

it's not there it's not there it feels

like it is it's not there it's it's a

fictional I an imaginary self on whose

behalf we spend most of our lives

thinking feeling acting and relating and

yet when we just pause like we do now

and say okay what exactly is this I

let's be really specific and scientific

what is this I on whose behalf I spend

so much time thinking and feeling it's

not my body your body is not upset by

some words you can't upset a thought or

an image it's not my mind that is upset

all of them I can express

and it's not awareness because awareness

is open and empty what else is there in

your experience there isn't anything

else it's a fictitious I it's the ghost

in the system that is not really there

on whose behalf we spend most of our

lives thinking and feeling now

when you discover that when you go to

the I you're feeling upset and instead

of getting mad with the person that did

whatever they did you say okay I'm just

going to go to find go towards this I

that is upset now when you don't find it

when you can't find the one on whose

behalf the upset is taking place what

happens to the upset I assume it will

just go away because there's no shoulds

anymore there's no reason to be upset

perfect

I don't have to fix it or do anything no

court you don't have to fix it because

because you've seen that the character

upon whom the upset feeling depends has

been discovered to be non-existent when

that happens that the bottom drops out

of the story of the upset what you will

be left with is a wave because as you

rightly said this feeling of upset has

an impact on the body a feeling in your

chest or your belly that will remain but

it's no longer a feeling of being upset

it's just a sensation and because that

sensation has no functional purpose by

functional purpose your there's a

sensation you're holding the the mic

here there's a sensation there that

sensation has a functional purpose its

therefore it's there the sensation that

the residue of upset in the body has no

other purpose other than to support the

separate self that was upset it's a kind

of a lie in the body of the separate

self now that this separate upset self

has been seemed to be non-existent

that this sensation in the body no

longer has a job it's redundant

and it will just be gradually dissipate

out of the body as a result because it's

not required any longer and the body

will be washed clean of this tension and

will be returned to its natural state of

openness and sensitivity and then the

next time the feeling comes up you do

the same thing again you explore the eye

around whom it revolves and you go back

again and again and again and again and

you experience for yourself over and

over again that this eye this separate

eye on whose behalf you have been

thinking and feeling for so long is not

there when you look for this eye you

find the eye of awareness open empty at

peace and this gradually becomes your

your identity you begin to take your

stand as that awareness not as the

reactive upset self and then from that

place you would actually react with

wisdom it is its eggs you still have

reactions but the reactions are no

longer on behalf of a self that is

always trying to defend itself or

aggrandize itself through reactivity and

relationship they'll still be a response

to a situation you don't become a stone

on the country you become very sensitive

but but your your reactions your

responses will be responses as you say

of wisdom of love of understanding into

you then you would also recognize that

that's where it was from and not from a

place of reactivity when you got to that

point yes yes you would here's upon

layers you would know in a response you

would feel if you responded to a

situation you would know there's a kind

of you recognize that your response

came from love you just know somehow you

recognize it it's when it's like if

you're a musician you play the right

note you just you just know it's right

it's somehow you if your response has

been a loving response and an

intelligent response even if it was a

firm one something in you knows I know

that came from truth I know that was a

loving response it wasn't I wasn't

trying to defend myself I wasn't trying

to put the other person down I wasn't

trying to have Brandeis myself

thank you