The guilt no one talks about after moving abroad

Summary

The speaker shares their emotional journey of moving abroad, highlighting the initial excitement and eventual reality of being alone in a new country. They discuss the guilt of leaving family behind, the challenges of adapting to a new culture, and the struggle between pursuing personal ambitions and maintaining family ties. The narrative explores themes of homesickness, personal growth, and the complex emotions of living away from one's roots, ultimately reflecting on the decision to move and the impact it has on one's identity and relationships.

Takeaways

• 🌐 The speaker expresses the initial excitement and eventual reality of moving across the world, highlighting the emotional journey of living abroad.
• 🏡 There's a constant feeling of missing something, whether it's the comfort of home or the independence of living abroad.
• 💔 The speaker grapples with guilt, feeling like a 'terrible daughter' for pursuing their own path away from family.
• 🏊 The decision to move to the States was influenced by a swimming scholarship, indicating a significant life change driven by personal passion.
• 📈 The speaker is ambitious and recognizes that their home country does not offer the same opportunities as living abroad, especially in their field of interest.
• 💼 The cost of education abroad is a significant barrier, with the speaker creating a PowerPoint to convince their parents of the necessity of their decision.
• 😢 The transition to a new country involves a steep learning curve, including managing daily life tasks and emotional challenges.
• 🤔 The speaker reflects on the concept of 'home', questioning where they truly belong and what it means to them as they navigate living in a foreign country.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 There's a deep sense of responsibility towards family, especially as an only child, and the struggle of balancing personal aspirations with familial duties.
• 🌱 The speaker acknowledges personal growth and the development of a new 'home' away from their roots, despite the emotional complexities involved.

Q & A

What was the speaker's initial feeling when they decided to move abroad?

The speaker was initially excited and felt like they were embarking on a new adventure, driven by the ambition to explore and succeed in a field that was not well-developed in their home country.

How did the speaker's parents react to their decision to move abroad?

The speaker's parents were not surprised by their decision to move abroad, as it was a common occurrence in their community. They expressed their desire for the speaker to stay a little longer but ultimately encouraged them to spread their wings.

What was the speaker's experience like when they first arrived in the new country?

Upon arrival, the speaker felt a high level of excitement, comparing their new life to movies and songs they had seen. However, this excitement was short-lived as reality set in, and they began to feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities and challenges of living in a new country.

What challenges did the speaker face during their first few weeks in the new country?

The speaker faced challenges such as learning to cook, going for groceries, studying, and dealing with feelings of loneliness and missing their family. They also had to navigate public transport and adapt to a new language.

How did the speaker cope with feelings of loneliness and homesickness?

The speaker coped by calling their mom frequently, allowing themselves to feel and accept that it was okay not to be okay, and eventually making friends and adjusting to their new environment.

What was the speaker's perspective on their career opportunities in their home country compared to the new country?

The speaker felt that the industry they were passionate about was not very big in their home country, which was one of the reasons they moved to the new country for better opportunities.

How did the speaker's relationship with their family evolve over time as they lived abroad?

The speaker's relationship with their family evolved as they lived abroad, with feelings of guilt and responsibility. They felt they were missing out on family life and events, and there was a struggle between being selfish and selfless in their pursuit of personal goals versus family obligations.

What was the speaker's strategy to convince their parents about the importance of attending grad school in the US?

The speaker created a PowerPoint presentation titled 'Grad School or Bust' to present to their parents, emphasizing their desire for a better career path and the importance of the education they sought in the US.

How did the speaker's feelings towards their home change over time after living abroad?

Over time, the speaker's feelings towards their home changed as they began to see it more as a place to visit rather than their primary residence. They started to feel like a guest in their own home, and the familiarity of their past life became distant.

What advice does the speaker have for others considering moving abroad?

The speaker advises others to not be afraid and to pursue their passions and interests, even if it means moving away from their comfort zone. They emphasize that while it will be hard initially, it will eventually become better and lead to personal growth and happiness.