Interpersonal Communication in the Future World | Celine Fitzgerald | TEDxCarletonUniversity

Summary

Seline Fitzgerald, a Psychology major at Carleton University, discusses the impact of online and interpersonal communication on well-being. She emphasizes the importance of non-verbal cues, which make up 93% of social communication, and contrasts this with the text-based nature of online platforms. Drawing from her personal experience and research, she suggests that online communication can lead to loneliness and stress, especially among young adults. Fitzgerald advises limiting online interactions, using the online world to enhance real-world connections, and practicing social skills in person to foster stronger relationships and avoid a lonely future.

Takeaways

• 🌐 The future of social communication is not solely online, as it can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection.
• 🗣️ Social communication is complex and diverse, with non-verbal cues making up 93% of the communication process.
• 👥 Online communication, being text-based, forces us to focus on the verbal component, which is only 7% of communication.
• 🤔 The reliance on online communication may be due to an inability to quickly pick up on non-verbal cues, affecting the quality of interactions.
• 🚫 Limiting online interactions and focusing on real-world connections can lead to increased happiness and reduced feelings of loneliness.
• 📱 Disconnecting from digital devices before bedtime can improve well-being by allowing for more focused real-world interactions.
• 🤝 Engaging in real-world social communication can lead to stronger, more meaningful relationships and a greater sense of belonging.
• 🧠 Research indicates that forcing oneself to be more extroverted in real-world settings can increase happiness.
• 🏫 University students and young adults may feel more lonely and stressed when communicating online due to the nature of online relationships.
• 💼 Online connections can lead to a sense of constant professionalism, which can be exhausting and create feelings of disconnection.

Q & A

What is the main theme of Seline Fitzgerald's talk?

The main theme of Seline Fitzgerald's talk is the impact of online communication versus interpersonal communication on wellbeing, emphasizing the importance of real-world interactions to avoid feelings of loneliness and stress.

What does Seline Fitzgerald suggest is the future of social communication according to popular opinion?

According to popular opinion, Seline Fitzgerald suggests that the future of social communication is online, which she argues can lead to a lonely future.

What are the two basic components of social communication as mentioned by Seline Fitzgerald?

The two basic components of social communication mentioned by Seline Fitzgerald are the verbal component, which deals with the words being said, and the non-verbal component, which includes everything else that influences communication, such as body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice.

How much of social communication is non-verbal according to Dr. Marianian's research?

Dr. Marianian's research determined that the non-verbal component makes up 93% of the social communication process.

What demonstration does Seline Fitzgerald conduct to highlight the importance of non-verbal communication?

Seline Fitzgerald conducts a demonstration where she asks the audience to introduce themselves to someone they've never met before, using only one or two sentences, while focusing on non-verbal cues like smiling and tone of voice.

Why did Seline Fitzgerald initially turn to online communication when she moved to Cornwall, Ontario?

Seline Fitzgerald turned to online communication because she was an introvert and felt it would be easier to connect with others without the pressure of face-to-face interactions, and because popular opinion suggested that online communication could effectively mimic real-world interactions.

What was the outcome of Seline Fitzgerald's increased online connections?

Despite having hundreds of online connections, Seline Fitzgerald felt more disconnected, lonely, and stressed in the real world, leading her to eventually disconnect from online communication.

What resolution did Seline Fitzgerald make for the new year to improve her social connections?

For the new year, Seline Fitzgerald resolved to speak to one new person every day for the month of January on her bus route to improve her real-world social connections.

What research does Seline Fitzgerald cite to support her personal experience with online communication?

Seline Fitzgerald cites research from Carlton University, John Zinsky from the Happy Lab, and Dr. Michael Chan from the University of Hong Kong's School of Public Health, which suggests that people, especially those between the ages of 18 and 34, feel more lonely and stressed when communicating online due to the nature of online interactions and the weak tie relationships they foster.

What advice does Seline Fitzgerald give to limit the negative effects of online communication on wellbeing?

Seline Fitzgerald advises limiting online interactions, using the online world to foster real-world communications, and practicing social communication skills in real-world settings to enhance employability and overall wellbeing.

Outlines

00:00

😀 The Complexity of Social Communication

Slen Fitzgerald, a fourth-year Psychology major at Carlon University, introduces the topic of interpersonal and online communication, emphasizing their impact on well-being. She plans to define social communication, share her personal experiences, and discuss research on avoiding a lonely future. Fitzgerald explains that communication is complex and diverse, with humans being unique in their communication style. She breaks down communication into verbal and non-verbal components, highlighting that non-verbal cues account for 93% of the communication process according to Dr. Maranian from UCLA. Fitzgerald engages the audience in a demonstration to raise awareness about non-verbal cues, which are often overlooked despite their significance.

05:00

📱 The Disconnect of Online Communication

Fitzgerald shares her personal story of moving to Cornwell, Ontario, for college and feeling like an outsider. She discusses the challenges introverts face in approaching people and fitting into a new social environment. Initially, she followed popular advice and turned to online communication, believing it to be a solution to her social challenges. However, she found that the more she connected online, the more disconnected and lonely she felt in real life. After a few months, she decided to disconnect from online communication and instead committed to speaking to one new person every day on her bus route for a month. This approach led to her forming meaningful connections and feeling more integrated into her community. Fitzgerald then references research that supports her experience, indicating that frequent online communication can lead to feelings of loneliness and stress, especially among young adults. She suggests that the type of people who prefer online communication and the nature of those interactions might be factors in these feelings.

10:02

🌐 Balancing Online and Real-World Interactions

Fitzgerald concludes by offering advice based on her experiences and research findings. She suggests limiting online interactions, especially before bed, to improve well-being. She encourages using online platforms to facilitate real-world communication and to practice social communication skills in person as much as possible. These skills are not only crucial for personal relationships but also highly employable in professional settings. Fitzgerald hopes that her talk will inspire listeners to avoid a lonely future by balancing their online and real-world interactions and by focusing on the quality of their social connections.

Keywords

💡Interpersonal Communication

Interpersonal communication refers to the exchange of information, thoughts, and emotions between two or more individuals. In the context of the video, it is contrasted with online communication to highlight the importance of face-to-face interactions for overall well-being. The speaker emphasizes how interpersonal communication involves both verbal and non-verbal cues, which are crucial for understanding the full meaning of messages.

💡Online Communication

Online communication is the exchange of information, ideas, and emotions through digital means, such as social media platforms, email, and instant messaging. The video discusses how this form of communication, while convenient, can lead to feelings of loneliness and stress due to its limited capacity to convey non-verbal cues and the nature of relationships formed online.

💡Well-being

Well-being encompasses an individual's physical, mental, and social health. The video suggests that the quality of our social interactions, particularly whether they are online or in-person, significantly impacts our well-being. The speaker's personal story illustrates how a shift from online to in-person communication improved their sense of belonging and reduced feelings of loneliness and stress.

💡Non-verbal Communication

Non-verbal communication includes body language, facial expressions, gestures, and tone of voice, which together convey a large portion of the meaning in face-to-face interactions. The video underscores that non-verbal cues make up 93% of social communication, indicating their critical role. The demonstration with the audience highlights the challenge of focusing on these cues, which are often overlooked in favor of verbal communication.

💡Social Media

Social media refers to web-based applications that enable users to create and share content or engage in social networking. The video discusses how platforms like Facebook and Twitter primarily rely on text-based communication, which may not fully satisfy our social needs due to the lack of non-verbal cues and the nature of connections made on these platforms.

💡Loneliness

Loneliness is the subjective feeling of being alone or isolated, which can negatively affect mental health. The video connects loneliness with the overuse of online communication, suggesting that the lack of deep, meaningful connections formed online can lead to increased feelings of isolation.

💡Stress

Stress is a physical or mental strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances. The video implies that online communication can be a source of stress, particularly for young adults who may form weak-tie relationships online that are unhelpful for their social and emotional needs.

💡Extroversion

Extroversion is a personality trait characterized by outgoing and sociable behavior. The video references research suggesting that engaging in extroverted behaviors, such as initiating conversations and small talk in real life, can increase happiness, contrasting with the more passive nature of online interactions.

💡Weak Tie Relationships

Weak tie relationships are social connections that are not close or intimate, often formed for professional or informational purposes. The video discusses how young adults may form many weak ties online, which can be exhausting and lead to feelings of loneliness and stress due to the constant need to maintain a professional demeanor.

💡Real-world Interactions

Real-world interactions refer to face-to-face social engagements that occur outside of digital platforms. The video advocates for the importance of real-world interactions for building strong social connections and improving well-being, as illustrated by the speaker's personal experience of connecting with people on their bus route.

Highlights

The importance of interpersonal communication and its impact on well-being.

Defining social communication and its basic components: verbal and non-verbal.

Non-verbal communication makes up 93% of social interaction, according to Dr. Maranian.

Demonstration with the audience to highlight the importance of non-verbal cues.

The challenge of attending to non-verbal cues in everyday communication.

Implications of online communication focusing on the verbal component.

Personal story of feeling lonely and stressed from excessive online communication.

The shift from online to in-person communication and its positive effects on well-being.

Research indicating that frequent online communication can lead to loneliness and stress.

The role of personality types in preferring online communication and its effects.

Research from Carlton University on extroversion and real-world interactions enhancing happiness.

Dr. Michael Chan's findings on the age effect and online communication among young adults.

The concept of weak tie relationships in online communication and their impact on stress and loneliness.

Practical advice on limiting online interactions for better well-being.

Recommendation to use online platforms to foster real-world communication.

Encouragement to practice social communication skills in person for employability and personal growth.

A call to action to avoid a lonely future by prioritizing interpersonal communication.

Transcripts

people will tell you that the importance

or the future of social communication is

online I'm here to tell you that that

future is

lonely hi I'm slen Fitzgerald I'm a

fourthe Psychology major here at Carlon

University thank you for coming out

tonight tonight like they said I'm going

to be talking about interpersonal

communication a and online communication

and how these really influence wellbeing

we'll first Define what social

communication is and break it into its

basic components then I'll walk you

through my own personal experience with

social communication and my own personal

story after we'll discuss some of the

research that's being brought forth in

this field and some of the ideas that

are being brought out to really avoid

this lonely future that I talked about

at the

beginning so what is social

communication when we look at the way

way that humans communicate we realize

that this process is really complex and

really diverse we can say one sentence

and have it mean a multitude of

different things now when we compare

this to other animals on the planet we

realize that no other animal on the

planet communicates quite like we do

this is something that is uniquely

human when we break communication into

its basic components we realize there

are two a verbal component dealing

largely with the word somebody's saying

and a non-verbal compon component which

deals with everything else that's

influencing that communication process

things like a smile the person's body

posture the tone of their voice do they

seem tense or relaxed now Dr maranian

from UCLA has determined that this

non-verbal component makes up

93% of that social communication process

that's huge that's leaving only a

marginal 7% dealing with the words

something that I feel we may be

consciously attend to More Than This non

verbal component now I'd like to draw

your awareness to this non-verbal

component by doing a demonstration with

the audience I'd like everybody in the

audience to turn to some never met

before and introduce yourself using one

or two sentences maximum but while

you're doing that I want you to try and

attend to some of these non-verbal cues

I mentioned to you whether or not the

person is smiling the tone of their

voice and then we'll regroup go

ahead e

perfect is everyone wrapping

up that's great is everyone kind of

coming to a close we can regroup yeah if

everyone can just kind of bring their

conversations to a

close

right that's perfect so how many people

in the audience notice at least three

things three of those non-verbal

components perfect I'm not expecting a

lot of hands this is actually a very

challenging task because we normally do

attend to these words it's hard to add

that extra component of now attending to

this non-verbal portion right this

portion that influences so largely

social communication so it's just

something I wanted to draw your

attention to since it's not something we

really consciously focus on all of the

time what are the implications or how do

we take this knowledge that we know now

about social communication and apply it

to the online interface I want you to

think of some of the major social

communication applications right now

things like Facebook and Twitter and I

want you to think about how they ask us

to communicate with each

other some of you may have already come

to the conclusion that these

applications are text based which means

that they force us to focus on that

marginal 7% of communication the

words what are the implications of this

are implications to this these are

probably some of the questions you're

asking yourself and certainly the

questions I was asking myself as I was

creating this talk I'd like to elaborate

on this a little bit further by telling

you my own personal story two years ago

I moved to Cornwell Ontario to attend

college and as you can appreciate if

you've moved around a lot like I have

that this can be an overwhelming

experience right Cornwell Ontario was a

city in which I knew

nobody now when you move to a new city

there's normally three things you notice

about other people they talk differently

they walk differently and they dress

differently and of course in turn

there's three things they're going to

notice about you you talk differently

you walk differently and hey you dress

kind of funny I don't know why it is I

don't make the rules but these are

normally the three

things so how do you deal with this idea

of being an outsider of not fitting into

the larger group because evolutionary

psychologists have told us that this

really is a need because back in

survival times or primitive times being

a part of the larger group was necessary

to survive so how do we deal with this

well if you're an introvert like me you

know there's a second Di mention to this

problem how do I deal with the fact that

I'm apprehensive to approach people to

begin with that's a big challenge for an

introvert right so how do we go about

facing these problems and these

challenges these are the questions that

I was having the problems I was

facing popular opinion told me that the

answer was online that the online

interface communicating online really

mimicked the real world and was maybe

even better than communicating in the

real world because it wasn't Bound by

space or time

and it allowed me connect with multiple

people at once so not knowing what I

know now I followed the advice I

connected online I became that prolific

queen of connections I had hundreds of

friends friends of friends cousins of

friends relatives I hadn't even known

had existed up until this point of

connecting online and we've all been

there it's embarrassing to admit but

we've all been there but I can tell you

that the more I connected online the

more I felt disconnected in the real

world the more I felt lonely the more I

felt

stressed but being the type of person I

am I like to face an approach and stick

with the decision so I stuck with it for

a few months and thought you know maybe

it's just my Approach like maybe it's

just me so I gave it until about the end

of December when I decided enough was

enough I'm still lonely I'm still

stressed I'm still not fitting in so I

disconnected and as you can appreciate

at the end of December everyone's making

their New Year's resolutions I'm no

different

but this year I decided to get a bit

creative for January of the new year I

was going to speak to one new person

every day for that month on my bus

route why the bus route well as you can

appreciate nobody's taking the bus at 6

or 6:30 in the morning unless they

absolutely have to that is a cruel and

unnecessary punishment nobody is doing

that for kicks so I figured that people

were doing it because they were obliged

they're either going to work or to

school and since the college was on the

the bus route I had a pretty good

feeling they were going to college turns

out I was right tell you that by the end

of the month I knew almost everybody on

the bus including the bus driver most of

them are still my good friends today

some of them even my best friends and

that this approach really provided more

fruitful results than the online

approach created this sense of a domino

effect these people that I met on the

bus introduced me to people at the

school and and more people in the

community and I really did start to feel

like I was a part of that larger group I

felt happier and my feelings of

loneliness and stress well they

dissipated into the background the more

I connected in the real world now I know

what you're thinking Seline this is

beautiful and touching oh my

heartstrings are being pulled but this

is a single story this is Chance how do

we know this

replicates well I'm here to tell you

that the research is saying that my

story is not a single story that people

my age who connect online often feel

lonely and often feel stressed but why

is this

happening well there's a few reasons

research is saying now that it might be

the type of people who prefer to

communicate online that maybe those who

prefer to communicate online prefer to

communicate online because they don't

pick up on those non-verbal cues as

quickly and maybe that somehow creates

an effect of the type of communication

or the quality of communication when we

see we receive when we communicate

online other research research from

Carlton University John zinsky from the

happy lab if you've heard of him has

done research on extroversion right and

how if we force oursel to be that little

bit more extroverted in the real world

approaching people engaging in small

talk with that person serving us the cup

cup of coffee increases our happiness

maybe it's something that's distinct or

unique about communicating in the real

world the last person I'd like to bring

up is Dr Michael Chan from the

University of Hong Kong the School of

Public Health his research has

determined that this is is an age effect

that people between the ages of 18 and

34 primarily University students or

people just starting to leave University

feel more lonely and more stressed when

communicating online because of the way

that they communicate online people our

age tend to Foster social Communications

online which he deems are weak tie

relationships right we have that Mentor

online or somebody in the field that we

want to be into that we want to glean

information from right we want to use

them and kind of get into that spot we

want to be into in the future but what

happens is Because the Internet isn't

Bound by space or time and we feel the

need to connect with this person in a

professional way we end up having this

sense of professionalism going

247 even if we're not even gaining

anything personal from that relationship

and the research is stating that that's

exhausting it's stressful it creates

loneliness we feel more disconnected

so what can we take away from this well

I'd like to give you the advice I wish I

would have gotten when I moved to cornal

onario and it's

this limit your interactions online if

you're going to bed at 10: don't bring

the phone to bed we've all been there

cuddled the phone right that one text

message is needed to be sent put the

phone away turn it off at the expense of

your well-being those messages can

wait use the online world world to

Foster your Communications in the real

world right if you have a great business

idea ask your boss to meet you at a time

and a place in the real world give

yourself that 100% of the communication

process to really make your idea the

bomb right let your boss know that

you're doing this right and lastly

practice your social communication

skills with people in the real world as

much as you can these are highly

employable skills and they're important

as we move forward into the

future now I hope if you take something

away from it this talk it's the advice I

wish I would have gotten and I hope that

we can work together to really avoid

this idea of a lonely future thank you

so much for your time