Career Change: The Questions You Need to Ask Yourself Now | Laura Sheehan | TEDxHanoi

Summary

In this inspiring talk, the speaker shares her journey from a small-town lawyer to a global motivator and advocate. She discusses the challenges of being a trailing spouse and the importance of embracing change, shedding traditional career titles, and making meaningful connections. Her story highlights the value of adaptability and the power of reinventing oneself to find success in various roles across different countries.

Takeaways

• 🗣️ The speaker is skilled at conversation and enjoys asking people about their life journeys.
• 🌟 She grew up in Ohio and only got her first passport at 18, reflecting a sheltered early life.
• 💍 Meeting her husband expanded her world, leading to a life of international travel and adventure.
• 🎓 Despite her law degree and aspirations, she faced challenges finding meaningful work abroad.
• 📬 A humorous encounter in an elevator highlighted the potential for her career to take unexpected turns.
• 🤔 She grappled with the question of whether she sacrificed her career for her husband's job.
• 🌍 Her experiences in various countries showed her that success can be found in diverse roles.
• 🔄 The speaker emphasizes the importance of being open to change and embracing a portfolio career.
• 📚 She suggests that successful careers are built on a set of adaptable skills rather than a single job title.
• 💬 Making meaningful connections is crucial for career success, as most jobs are filled through personal networks.
• 📈 The speaker's journey illustrates that success can be redefined and found in every place, even when it doesn't align with initial career plans.

Q & A

What was the speaker's initial profession?

The speaker was initially a lawyer.

How did the speaker's life change after meeting her husband?

After meeting her husband, who was a diplomat, the speaker's life changed as she began traveling and living in different countries.

What was the speaker's dilemma when her husband got a job overseas?

The speaker was torn between pursuing a life of travel and adventure or continuing her established career as a lawyer.

What was the speaker's realization about her career in the elevator?

The speaker realized that she might have to take a job that didn't align with her career aspirations, like working in the mailroom.

How did the speaker feel about her job prospects in a new country?

The speaker felt sad, angry, and resentful, as she questioned whether she had sacrificed her career for her husband's job.

What did the speaker learn from her experiences in different countries?

The speaker learned that she had been doing the same things all the time, such as writing, speaking, and advocating, and that these skills were her strength.

What was the speaker's advice for finding success anywhere?

The speaker advised being open to change, embracing experiences rather than titles, and making meaningful connections.

According to the speaker, how many careers does the average person have?

The speaker mentioned that the US Bureau of Labor Statistics estimated an average of 12 to 15 careers per person.

What percentage of jobs are filled through personal connections?

The speaker stated that 85% of jobs are still filled by word of mouth or personal connections.

What were the two questions the speaker loved to ask new people?

The speaker loved to ask, 'How did you come to be here?' and 'If you could do anything, what would it be?'

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Life's Unexpected Journeys

The speaker, a lawyer and diplomat's wife, shares her story of unexpected life turns. She grew up in Ohio, got her first passport at 18, and only left the country once before meeting her husband. Despite her successful career as a lawyer, she chose to follow her husband's diplomatic postings, leading to a life of travel and adventure. She faced challenges in finding meaningful work abroad and questioned her career choices, but ultimately found success in various roles across seven countries.

05:00

🌐 Embracing Change and New Experiences

The speaker emphasizes the importance of being open to change and embracing new experiences in one's career. She discusses the evolving nature of careers, moving from a single job title to a portfolio of diverse roles. She shares her own journey of working in different countries and how she found value in her various roles, even if they weren't as 'Laura, the lawyer.' The speaker also highlights the significance of developing a set of transferable skills and viewing one's career as a collection of experiences rather than job titles.

10:03

🤝 Making Meaningful Connections

The speaker concludes with the third step to finding success: making meaningful connections. She points out that most jobs are filled through personal connections rather than online job boards. She encourages networking and having conversations with people whose work interests you. The speaker suggests asking two key questions to start meaningful dialogues: 'How did you come to be here?' and 'If you could do anything, what would it be?' She ends with a call to action to start building relationships and enjoying the journey of career development.

Keywords

💡Diplomat's wife

The speaker is the wife of a diplomat, which implies a lifestyle that involves international travel and living in different countries. This role is significant in the video as it sets the context for her experiences and the challenges she faced in adapting to new environments and maintaining her career aspirations.

💡Career change

The concept of career change refers to the transition from one job or profession to another, often multiple times throughout one's working life. In the video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of being open to change and viewing it as an opportunity for growth and learning, which is a central theme of her message.

💡Trailing spouse

A trailing spouse is a term used to describe a partner who moves with their spouse due to the latter's job relocation, often sacrificing their own career opportunities. The speaker relates to this concept by sharing her own experiences and the emotional struggles that come with such a decision.

💡Life purpose

Life purpose refers to an individual's sense of direction and meaning in their life, often linked to their career or personal goals. The speaker's journey reflects her search for purpose beyond her initial career path as a lawyer, which is a key element of her personal narrative.

💡Motivator

A motivator is someone who inspires and encourages others to take action or achieve their goals. In the context of the video, the speaker identifies as a motivator, highlighting her ability to inspire and influence others, which is a skill she has utilized across various roles and locations.

💡Portfolio career

A portfolio career is a modern approach to work where an individual has a variety of jobs or roles, often simultaneously, to create a diverse and flexible professional life. The speaker's experiences and advice align with this concept, emphasizing the value of diverse experiences over a single, static career path.

💡Adaptability

Adaptability is the ability to adjust to new conditions or challenges. In the video, the speaker highlights the importance of being adaptable in a changing job market and in personal life, as she herself had to adapt to various cultures and work environments.

💡Networking

Networking refers to the process of building and maintaining professional relationships, which can lead to job opportunities and career growth. The speaker emphasizes the importance of making meaningful connections as a key step to finding success in any location.

💡Empowerment

Empowerment is the process of becoming self-reliant and confident, especially in one's ability to have control over one's life and make decisions. The speaker's story is one of personal empowerment, as she transitions from feeling lost to finding a new sense of purpose and direction.

💡Personal growth

Personal growth involves self-improvement and the development of one's abilities, values, and understanding. The speaker's narrative is a testament to personal growth, as she learns to redefine success and find fulfillment in her diverse experiences.

Highlights

The speaker is a lawyer and the wife of a diplomat, skilled at conversation and connecting with people.

She asks people how they ended up at a certain point in their lives, which always fascinates her.

She grew up in Ohio and only got her first passport at 18, having left the country only once before.

After meeting her husband, she pursued both her law degree and a relationship with him.

Her husband's job offered them the opportunity to live overseas, which she initially saw as a dilemma between career and adventure.

She faced challenges in finding meaningful work overseas, even being suggested for a mailroom job.

The speaker questioned whether she had sacrificed her career for her husband's job.

She discusses the common feelings of trailing spouses, parents, and individuals who change life courses for others.

Despite not working as a lawyer, she found success in various roles in different countries.

She realized that she had been doing the same things all along, just with different titles.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of being open to change and embracing experiences over titles.

She shares three key steps to finding success anywhere: being ready for change, embracing experiences, and making meaningful connections.

Careers are now seen as a portfolio of different jobs, not a single position for decades.

The speaker suggests viewing one's work as an artist's portfolio, with each experience contributing to a collective whole.

85% of jobs are filled through personal connections, highlighting the importance of networking.

She encourages people to ask others how they ended up where they are and what they would do if they could do anything.

Transcripts

Translator: Như Nguyễn Reviewer: Zsófia Herczeg

I'm a lawyer and the wife of a diplomat.

You know what I'm pretty great at?

Talking!

You can get me into a room with almost anyone,

and I can find something to talk about.

And when I meet new people,

one of the questions that I love to ask is

"How did you come to be here?"

And I don't mean by taxi or grab a motorbike,

but how did you come to be here at this point in your life?

And the answers always leave me riveted

because I never could have anticipated that I would be here -

in my life or in Vietnam.

I grew up - I spent the most of my childhood in small-town Ohio,

a state that calls itself the heart of America.

And I didn't get my first passport until I was 18.

A few years later, when I met the man who was to be my husband,

I had only ever left the country once.

And when I met him - oh, wow!

He was smart, and he was handsome, he was witty, and he was going places -

literally!

So, it took me a few years to convince him to marry me.

I totally chased him.

(Laughter)

And at the same time, I was pursuing my law degree.

Well, so when I graduated from law school, we got married.

And in one year, the first year of our marriage,

and the first year of my career as "Laura, the lawyer,"

my husband came home, and he says,

"You know what? I've got a job that can take us overseas.

What do you think?"

I said, "Oh, you know I'm kind of torn here."

I mean a life of travel and adventure or a clear and distinguished career path?

I don't know.

I mean exotic locations, great food, new people, fun and exciting times,

or I could stay "Laura, the lawyer."

And I worked really hard for that, you know.

I spent years and years of time,

and thousands and thousands of dollars invested in that title,

in that career track, in that trajectory.

And I wondered if I followed my husband in his job overseas,

what would happen to mine?

Well, I had to figure it out.

So, off we went, and there we were:

overseas, oh the fun, oh the adventure!

Yes, there I was, at home, alone,

with no job.

Oh, what had I done?

And I'll never forget the moment when I realized the impact

this choice might have had on my career.

I was standing in the elevator at my husband's office,

and a woman comes in, and she says, "Oh, hi! Are you new here?"

"Yes, I am!"

She says, "Great, welcome!

Do you think you're going to be looking for a job while you're here?"

"Yes, I do!"

"You know, a job in the mailroom just opened up, you should check it out."

"Wow! Thank you! The mailroom!"

(Laughter)

Was Laura, the lawyer destined to sort mail?

No, don't get me wrong.

Sorting mail is a very important job,

and one that can be lots of fun from what I've been told.

But it is a job that didn't hold much meaning for me,

didn't make me feel like I was fulfilling my life purpose,

like I was living up to my full potential.

And the question made me wonder,

"Had I sacrificed my career, my chances for success by following my husband?"

Now, at the time, it certainly felt like it.

And I was sad and angry and resentful.

And these feelings are not unique to me or to the ex-pat population

or to anyone who considers themselves a trailing spouse

or an accompanying partner.

It can also be the parent who chooses to stay home and raise children,

or the child who once grown returns home to take care of an aging parent.

Here in Hanoi, it can be the educated woman

who when she decides to get married,

leaves her family to join her husband's.

It's anyone, anywhere who chooses to change their life course

for the sake of, for the love of another.

And of course, we love our spouse, we love our kids,

we love our parents and we would do anything for them,

and that's why we make those choices - it's to be with them, to support them.

But when we do that, we sometimes also can't help but wonder,

"Well, is this what I was meant to do?"

Now, was I meant to sort mail? No!

I didn't end up work in the mailroom,

and yes, I did find a job everywhere we lived:

Tunisia, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Israel and Vietnam.

And in every place, I have held some really interesting jobs.

But I thought all of them were a big fat nothing

because I wasn't moving forward as Laura, the lawyer!

And I was miserable.

Until I got to Hanoi,

and within my first few weeks of arriving here,

I was invited out to a lunch with a few new friends.

And as it does in any getting-to-know-you conversation,

the question of work came up.

"So Laura what do you do?"

Ugh! I hated that question

because I never knew how to answer, right?

Well, I was a lawyer but we moved,

and I had this job and this other job -

and ugh, I don't know!

Poor me, I don't know what I do, I'm not really sure.

And so this woman looked to me and she said,

"Well, if you could do anything, what would it be?"

Wow! If I could do anything!

Now, that's a question that I hadn't been asked since I was a child.

And it blew my mind - I mean it had me stunned.

It rendered me temporarily speechless.

And when I thought about it, I thought, You know, I could do anything.

I didn't have to stay on the track of being Laura, the lawyer.

I could be and do something different.

And when I thought about it, I started realizing

that all the things that I had done along the way,

all the titles had been very different,

but I had been doing the same things all the time.

I suddenly saw that each of those pieces were fitting together.

And it felt fantastic!

True, I had not accomplished the same things

that my law school classmates had accomplished.

But I had done a lot.

I had lived all over the world,

and in every place, I had found a way to move forward, to grow.

I may not have succeeded at moving forward as Laura, the lawyer,

but, wow, did I do well at being Laura, the motivator;

Laura, the advocate; Laura, the writer; Laura, the persuasive speaker.

And looking back and looking forward, if I could do anything,

well, I think I would like to help other people

gain this amazingly empowering perspective

that I had just been gifted.

And so here I am!

And it took me 16 years and jobs in seven countries

to get here and to realize

that I had found success in every place.

So please, let me save you some time in your journey.

There are three key steps

that you can take to find success anywhere you are.

Step 1:

Be open to and ready for change.

In 1989, Charles Handy wrote a book called "The Age of Unreason."

And in it, he predicted that careers would be a portfolio of different jobs

rather than one position that lasted for decades.

Guess what?

He was right.

In 2007, the New York Times recognized that when it comes to careers,

change is the only constant.

If jumping off track once was stigmatized,

it now has cachet!

Career change has cachet!

At that time, they predicted that people would change jobs

an average of three times.

But by 2010, the number had jumped to seven.

By 2015, the number had jumped to 10.

And in March of this year, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics

estimated 12 to 15 careers per person.

15 careers per person!

That's right, if you haven't changed job not just once but a few times,

you're behind the times!

(Laughter)

Changing jobs can be a strength.

It can be an asset in your professional development.

It can show that you're flexible, adaptable, resilient,

and that you have creative problem-solving abilities.

In Handy's words, change, after all, is only another word for growth,

a synonym for learning.

We can all do it, and here's the key:

Enjoy it if we want to -

which leads us to step number 2:

Embrace the experiences, ditch the titles.

Today, a successful career is not based on a single job title,

the same job in different locations.

It's the process of diligently developing and then quickly adapting a set of skills

to answer life's challenges.

I might not have been Laura, the lawyer every place we lived,

but in every location, I served as a talented writer,

a persuasive speaker, an advocate for those who needed my voice.

These were the common threads

that tied my professional experiences together.

So ask yourself,

What are the skills you consistently use in every thing that you end up doing?

Therein lies your strength, your story, your path to success.

Author Jeff Goins wrote the "Art of Work" recently.

It's a really great book you should read it.

In it, he encourages you to think about your work as an artist's portfolio,

where each piece stands on its own and is its own beautiful work,

but when compiled into a portfolio,

clearly illustrates the progress that the artist has made,

the growth that she has come through in the years.

In your work, your careers,

each seemingly unrelated experience stands on its own,

but can also be viewed as a contribution to a collective whole,

a beautiful collage of a career that you are creating.

By ditching the titles and embracing the experiences,

you expand your employment options,

and you can better enjoy the journey.

"But, okay Laura, how do we land a job?"

Great question!

And this is the key.

Step number three:

Make meaningful connections.

All theory and warm fuzzy feelings aside,

on a very practical level,

creating real life connections through actual conversations

can enable and empower you to find success.

Despite the plethora of internet-based job boards that are out there,

85% of jobs are still filled by word of mouth,

by personal connection.

Is it really a surprise that someone needs to know you

in order to recommend you, in order to want to hire you?

So plug-in!

Not with devices, but with people.

Ask questions, seek advice,

tell the world what you want to do

so that when those opportunities arise,

they think of you.

Start today.

Go and have a coffee,

or get crazy, have an entire meal

with someone whose job really intrigues you,

someone whose activities interest you,

someone who you just think that you'd like to get to know better.

Start a conversation.

And if you're looking for a way to get that talk going,

I've got a couple of great questions that can start you on your road.

When I meet new people I love to ask, "How did you come to be here?

And if you could do anything,

what would it be?"

Thank you.

(Applause)