How to Seize Everyday Negotiation Opportunities HBR Video

Summary

In this discussion, Allison Beard interviews Deborah Kulp, author of 'Negotiating at Work,' about 'lowercase n' negotiations, which differ from traditional deal-making. Kulp explains that these everyday negotiations are more emotional and often involve power dynamics and resistance. She outlines four key steps for success: recognizing negotiation opportunities, preparing with 'anchor with options,' initiating conversations strategically, and navigating the negotiation with effective questioning. Kulp emphasizes the importance of understanding others' reasons for resistance, especially for women who frequently face such negotiations in the workplace.

Takeaways

• 📚 Lowercase 'n' negotiations refer to the everyday work interactions that lack formal structure, as opposed to Capital 'N' negotiations which are structured deal-making processes.
• 🤝 In lowercase 'n' negotiations, individuals often negotiate for themselves without the backing of an organization, making it more personal and emotionally charged.
• 🚧 Lowercase 'n' negotiations frequently involve addressing issues or problems within a power hierarchy, where resistance is common.
• 🔍 Recognizing the possibility of a negotiation is the first step, as many may not initially see everyday interactions as negotiation opportunities.
• 🛠 Preparation is crucial, which includes understanding people's interests and considering their valid reasons for saying 'no'.
• 📋 'Anchor with options' is a key preparation strategy, where one presents solutions rather than just identifying problems.
• 🗣️ Initiating the negotiation is challenging due to the lack of a formal structure, and it often requires repurposing existing meetings or conversations.
• 🧭 Navigating the negotiation involves asking the right questions to move towards resolution, such as hypothesis testing questions.
• 💡 Understanding and addressing the other party's reasons for saying 'no' can help in building a proposal that addresses their concerns.
• 👩‍💼 Women often face more occasions for lowercase 'n' negotiations due to societal expectations and workplace dynamics, making these negotiation strategies particularly relevant for them.

Q & A

What is the difference between 'lowercase n negotiations' and 'capital N negotiations' as described by Deborah Kulp?

Lowercase n negotiations refer to the routine work negotiations we engage in daily, often without a formal structure, and can be more emotional and subjective. Capital N negotiations are more formal deal-making processes, typically involving clear roles, such as buyer and seller, and are more objective with a clear power structure behind the negotiator.

Why is it important to recognize the possibility of negotiation in lowercase n negotiations?

Recognizing the possibility of negotiation is crucial because it allows individuals to prepare and approach the situation strategically rather than reacting impulsively. It shifts the mindset from a simple 'yes' or 'no' to considering a 'yes, and' which opens the door for negotiation.

What does 'anchor with options' mean in the context of lowercase n negotiations?

Anchoring with options in lowercase n negotiations involves presenting potential solutions to a problem when raising it, which helps to focus the discussion on solutions rather than the problem itself. This approach can prevent the negotiator from becoming the problem and increases the likelihood of a positive outcome.

How can understanding people's reasons for saying 'no' be beneficial in lowercase n negotiations?

Understanding the reasons behind a 'no' allows negotiators to address these concerns proactively, either by incorporating them into their proposal or by engaging in a dialogue that addresses the underlying issues, thus increasing the chances of reaching a mutually beneficial agreement.

What is the significance of initiating the negotiation in lowercase n negotiations?

Initiating the negotiation is significant because it sets the stage for the discussion. It involves finding appropriate opportunities, such as status updates or performance reviews, to bring up the negotiation in a way that is recognized by the other party as a negotiation.

How can asking questions help navigate a negotiation when faced with defensive statements?

Asking questions in response to defensive statements can help to shift the conversation away from a defensive stance and towards a more collaborative dialogue. It allows the negotiator to seek clarification and understanding, which can open up new avenues for discussion and potential agreement.

Why is it particularly important for female executives to be adept at lowercase n negotiations?

Female executives often face more occasions for lowercase n negotiations due to societal expectations and workplace dynamics, such as taking on extra work, managing work-life balance, and being placed in leadership roles during challenging times. Being skilled in these negotiations can help them advocate for themselves and their teams more effectively.

What is a 'contingent agreement' and how can it be used in lowercase n negotiations?

A contingent agreement is a proposal that includes clear criteria or conditions that must be met for an agreement to be finalized. It allows the negotiator to address concerns about performance or readiness by setting measurable goals that, if achieved, result in the desired outcome.

How can making one's value visible help in initiating negotiations?

Making one's value visible can prompt others to recognize the potential benefits of negotiating, as it demonstrates the negotiator's worth and the potential gains from reaching an agreement. This can motivate the other party to engage in a negotiation they might otherwise avoid.

What strategies can be used to deal with stonewalling during lowercase n negotiations?

Dealing with stonewalling involves strategies such as reinitiating the negotiation at a later time, making one's value more apparent, or addressing defensive statements with questions to open up dialogue. The goal is to find ways to engage the other party in a constructive conversation.

How can the principles of lowercase n negotiations be applied to situations like Nora's, where she is seeking a permanent role after acting in a position?

In Nora's situation, applying the principles of lowercase n negotiations would involve recognizing the need for negotiation, preparing by anchoring with options and understanding her boss's reasons for saying 'no', initiating the negotiation by finding an appropriate context, and navigating the conversation by asking questions and addressing concerns.