14 Life Lessons I Wish I Knew Earlier

Summary

Ce script de vidéo partage les leçons apprises par l'animateur après son diplôme universitaire et dans le monde réel. Il souligne l'importance de considérer qu'on est moins intelligent que les autres pour prendre de meilleures décisions et apprendre plus, la difficulté de gagner le respect des autres et la nécessité de changer son comportement pour améliorer sa réputation. Il met en avant l'efficacité de la bonne volonté, la valeur de la négociation, l'humilité et la compréhension que le succès et l'échec sont cycliques. L'animateur encourage à se concentrer sur l'apprentissage continu et à ne jamais prendre les choses pour acquises.

Takeaways

• 🧠 'Assume you're dumber than everyone else' - Adopting a mindset of humility can lead to better learning and decision-making as it opens you up to listening and learning from others.
• 🗣️ 'Stop talking to start learning' - Being quiet and attentive allows for greater absorption of knowledge and insights from others.
• 🔑 'Respect yourself to gain respect from others' - Changing one's behavior to align with self-respect can gradually shift how others perceive and respect you.
• 🎯 'Control your narrative with clear messaging' - Equip others with the right words to describe what you do, ensuring your message is accurately conveyed.
• 📚 'Read fewer, but better books' - Focus on reading quality books multiple times to deeply internalize the knowledge rather than skimming through many mediocre ones.
• 🏆 'Champions allocate their time differently' - Success often comes from eliminating distractions and focusing on a singular goal with ruthless efficiency.
• 💰 'Goodwill compounds faster than money' - Building positive sentiment and influence over others can lead to exponential growth in your network and opportunities.
• 💀 'Your legacy is fleeting' - Recognize the impermanence of life and the limited influence of others' opinions on your path.
• 🏋️‍♂️ 'Extraordinary accomplishments come from ordinary actions, consistently done' - Commitment to consistent action, regardless of the task's perceived ordinariness, leads to significant achievements.
• 🛠️ 'Do things worth doing, well' - Prioritize quality over quantity in your work, understanding that excellence requires time and dedication.

Q & A

Quel est le premier enseignement tiré de l'expérience après le collège?

Le premier enseignement est que l'on prend de meilleures décisions et qu'on apprend plus en supposant qu'on est moins intelligent que tout le monde.

Pourquoi est-il important d'écouter plutôt que de parler pour apprendre et prendre de meilleures décisions?

On ne peut pas apprendre si l'on parle constamment, et pour prendre de meilleures décisions, il est nécessaire d'apprendre et d'écouter les autres.

Quelle a été la leçon apprise concernant le respect d'autrui et comment cela a-t-il été changé?

La leçon est que le respect le plus difficile à gagner est celui que l'on se doit à soi-même. L'auteur a changé son comportement en commençant par respecter lui-même, ce qui a progressivement influencé la perception des autres.

Comment équiper les gens avec les mots pour décrire ce que vous faites est-il important?

Il est important d'équiper les gens avec des mots simples pour qu'ils puissent communiquer ce que vous faites, car sinon, ils ont du mal à décrire votre entreprise ou vos produits.

Pourquoi est-il préférable de lire un livre de qualité plusieurs fois plutôt que de lire cinq livres médiocres?

Lire un livre de grande qualité plusieurs fois permet une compréhension plus profonde et une application pratique des connaissances, tandis que lire de nombreux livres médiocres ne conduit pas nécessairement à un changement de comportement.

Quelle est la différence entre les champions et les autres en termes d'allocation du temps?

Les champions allouent leur temps différemment, étant plus sélectifs et prêts à sacrifier des choses pour se concentrer sur leurs objectifs, ce qui les rend plus efficaces.

Comment la bonne volonté se compare-t-elle à l'argent en termes de compound?

La bonne volonté se compounde plus rapidement que l'argent car elle est basée sur les sentiments et l'influence sur le comportement des personnes, ce qui peut se propager rapidement.

Quelle est la perspective de l'auteur sur la mort et comment cela influence son approche de la vie?

L'auteur considère que la mort est une évidence et que peu de temps après, les gens oublient les autres. Cela lui permet de mettre en perspective l'importance des opinions des autres et de se concentrer sur ses propres objectifs.

Pourquoi les accomplissements extraordinaires proviennent-ils de faire des choses ordinaires pendant des périodes extraordinaires?

Les accomplissements extraordinaires sont le résultat de la persévérance et de la discipline dans des actions répétitives et ordinaires, ce qui avec le temps, conduit à des résultats significatifs.

Quelle est la stratégie de l'auteur pour déterminer si une tâche est valable la peine d'être faite correctement?

L'auteur évalue d'abord si une tâche est valable la peine d'être faite du tout, puis il détermine si elle mérite d'être faite correctement en fonction de l'investissement de temps et des résultats escomptés.

Comment la négociation est-elle vue par l'auteur et en quoi cela a-t-il appris à le faire différemment?

L'auteur a appris que presque tout est négociable et qu'il faut comprendre les besoins des autres et les siens propres pour parvenir à un accord où toutes les parties gagnent, sans négliger ses valeurs.

Quelle est la définition de l'humilité selon l'auteur et comment cela influence-t-elle le statut social?

L'humilité est définie comme l'augmentation du respect pour les autres plutôt que la diminution de soi. Elle permet d'augmenter le statut social en donnant plus au groupe que ce que l'on reçoit en retour.

Comment l'auteur a-t-il géré ses émotions et ses attentes pour se concentrer sur son propre chemin?

L'auteur a adopté une perspective où il considère que les actions des autres sont motivées par leur propre désir de se sentir mieux, ce qui lui a permis de se détacher des jugements et de se concentrer sur ses propres objectifs.

Quel est le cycle que l'auteur décrit pour la réussite entrepreneuriale et comment cela influence-t-il sa philosophie?

L'auteur décrit un cycle de réussite entrepreneuriale où l'échec conduit à l'apprentissage, qui conduit à la réussite, qui conduit à la complaisance, qui conduit à l'échec. Il s'efforce d'identifier et de surmonter rapidement les leçons à apprendre pour avancer.

Pourquoi l'auteur est-il prêt à payer pour rendre les vérités évidentes et comment cela affecte-t-il sa vision de l'entrepreneuriat?

L'auteur est prêt à payer pour accélérer le processus de découverte de vérités évidentes car cela lui permet de voir le monde plus clairement et d'améliorer sa stratégie entrepreneuriale, réduisant ainsi l'impôt de l'ignorance.

Outlines

00:00

😌 Leçons apprises après le collège

Le narrateur partage les 13 leçons qu'il a apprises après son diplôme et souhaite avoir su plus tôt. La première leçon est qu'en se considérant comme moins intelligent que les autres, on prend de meilleures décisions et on apprend plus. Il a appris cela en se rendant compte qu'en parlant toujours le plus, il en apprenait moins sur les autres. Il a également appris que le respect est gagné en changeant son comportement et en commençant par se respecter soi-même. Il souligne également l'importance de donner aux gens les mots pour décrire ce que l'on fait, ce qui est crucial pour la communication et la marketing des entreprises.

05:02

📚 L'efficacité de la lecture répétée

Le narrateur discute de son approche de la lecture, expliquant qu'il achète de nombreux livres mais ne les lit pas tous en entier. Il préfère lire plusieurs fois les livres qu'il estime valables jusqu'à ce qu'il puisse enseigner leur contenu. Il croit que cela permet une meilleure compréhension et un changement de comportement, ce qui est essentiel pour apprendre réellement quelque chose. Il mentionne également que les livres anciens sont souvent meilleurs car ils sont écrits avec l'intention de transmettre des connaissances plutôt que pour gagner de l'argent ou de la notoriété.

10:02

🏆 L'importance de la concentration et du sacrifice

Le narrateur explique que les champions ne possèdent pas quelque chose de spécial, mais plutôt ils manquent de certaines choses que la plupart des gens ont, comme le temps pour les distractions. Il souligne que les champions牺牲 plus et ont une focalisation singulière, ce qui les mène à réussir. Il partage également sa propre expérience où il a pris du temps à apprendre la valeur de dire non aux choses non essentielles pour se concentrer sur les objectifs importants.

15:03

💸 La bonté se cumule plus vite que l'argent

Le narrateur discute de la notion que la bonté (Goodwill) se cumule plus rapidement que l'argent. Il explique que la bonté est une forme d'influence positive sur les autres et que cela peut se multiplier rapidement, contrairement à l'argent. Il mentionne que la bonté peut être convertie en argent à un moment donné, mais le focus devrait être sur la construction de l'audience et la bonté, qui se développent de manière exponentielle et sont免税的.

20:05

💀 La mort et l'opinion des autres

Le narrateur aborde la perspective de la mort et comment cela affecte notre perception de l'importance des opinions des autres. Il mentionne que peu de temps après notre décès, la plupart des gens oublieront notre existence, ce qui devrait nous amener à nous poser la question de combien d'importance devons-nous accorder aux opinions des autres sur la façon de vivre notre vie. Il suggère que nous devrions ignorer les opinions des autres sauf si celles-ci viennent de personnes qui ont un intérêt à notre réussite et la compétence pour nous donner des conseils.

🏋️‍♂️ Réussite extraordinaire par l'accumulation de petites choses

Le narrateur soutient que les accomplissements extraordinaires proviennent de faire des choses ordinaires pendant des périodes extraordinaires. Il partage son expérience personnelle de jeunesse où il croyait qu'il fallait ajouter constamment de nouvelles choses à son 'plateau' et dire oui à toutes les opportunités. Il a appris plus tard que la concentration sur une seule chose et la persévérance dans cette action, malgré les distractions et les nouvelles opportunités, est ce qui mène à la réussite.

🛠️ Faire les choses correctement ou ne les faire pas du tout

Le narrateur discute de la différence entre faire les choses correctement et simplement les faire. Il mentionne qu'il a pris des raccourcis et n'a pas fait les choses correctement lorsqu'il était jeune, ce qui a eu un impact sur la qualité de son travail. Il souligne l'importance de comprendre que si quelque chose est valable la faire, il faut le faire correctement et le temps que cela prend pour le faire correctement est essentiel pour la réussite à long terme.

💼 Tout est négociable, sauf vos valeurs

Le narrateur explique qu'il a appris que presque tout est négociable, y compris les prix, les termes et les relations. Il partage son expérience de négociation initiale où il croyait que tout était un échange équivalent, mais plus tard, il a compris que le but de la négociation est de trouver un accord où toutes les parties se sentent meilleures. Il souligne l'importance de ne pas négocier sur ses valeurs et de trouver un équilibre entre les besoins actuels et futurs de toutes les parties impliquées.

🙏 L'humilité est une vertu

Le narrateur discute de l'humilité et comment il a appris que cela ne signifie pas penser moins de soi mais plutôt penser plus des autres. Il explique que le statut et le respect viennent de donner plus au groupe que ce que l'on reçoit en retour. Il partage son expérience de jeunesse où il croyait qu'il fallait posturer pour gagner le respect des autres, mais plus tard, il a réalisé que le respect vient de servir les autres et d'augmenter leur statut.

😔 Le bonheur vient de l'acceptation de soi-même

Le narrateur partage son introspection sur la tristesse et la colère de sa jeunesse, qui provenaient de ses propres attentes et de la pression de se sentir insuffisant. Il explique comment il a changé sa perspective en se concentrant sur l'acceptation de lui-même et en comprenant que les autres agissent souvent pour se sentir mieux eux-mêmes. Cette acceptation lui a permis de se concentrer sur l'action plutôt que sur la recherche de la validation extérieure.

🔄 Le cycle de l'échec, de l'apprentissage, de la réussite et de la complaisance

Le narrateur décrit le cycle naturel de l'échec, d'apprentissage, de réussite et de complaisance, soulignant que cela n'est pas une destination mais un cycle continu. Il mentionne que la réussite est souvent suivie de complaisance, ce qui mène à l'échec, et que l'objectif est de passer rapidement à travers le cycle pour éviter la complaisance et de continuer à apprendre et à croître. Il encourage à voir l'échec et la réussite comme des étapes vers la réussite et à ne pas s'arrêter dans le complaisance.

💡 Acheter la connaissance pour voir la réalité plus clairement

Le narrateur conclut en disant qu'il paierait n'importe quel prix pour voir les vérités évidentes plus clairement. Il compare la lutte pour la réussite en entreprise à essayer de viser un objectif avec un bandeau sur les yeux, soulignant l'importance de voir la réalité comme elle est pour être plus efficace. Il mentionne qu'il est prêt à payer pour se débarrasser des fausses vérités et à acquérir des connaissances qui lui permettront de voir le monde de manière plus précise et de réussir dans le jeu des affaires.

Keywords

💡Apprentissage

L'apprentissage est présenté comme un processus essentiel pour améliorer ses décisions et son efficacité dans la vie réelle. Dans le script, l'orateur mentionne qu'en se considérant comme moins intelligent que les autres, on est plus à l'écoute et donc en position d'apprendre davantage. Cela se rapporte au thème général de la vidéo qui encourage le développement continu et l'humilité comme moyen d'amélioration personnelle.

💡Réputation

La réputation est abordée comme un élément difficile à changer mais possible avec un changement de comportement. L'orateur raconte son expérience de combattre une mauvaise réputation en changeant son comportement et en gagnant ainsi le respect des autres. Cela illustre le message que les actions réelles sont plus efficaces que les mots pour influencer la perception que les autres ont de nous.

💡Négociation

La négociation est vue comme un outil pour obtenir de meilleurs résultats dans les affaires et les relations personnelles. L'orateur souligne l'importance de ne négocier que les termes et non ses valeurs fondamentales. Cela montre comment trouver un équilibre entre l'obtention de ce que l'on souhaite et la préservation de ses principes.

💡Humilité

L'humilité est présentée comme une vertu qui permet d'augmenter le statut et de gagner le respect des autres. Contrairement à la définition traditionnelle, l'orateur la décrit comme une capacité à augmenter son estime pour les autres plutôt que de diminuer son propre ego. Cela se connecte au thème de la vidéo qui met l'accent sur l'importance de servir les autres pour atteindre le succès.

💡Bonheur

Le bonheur est discuté comme un état d'esprit qui influence nos actions et notre capacité à progresser. L'orateur explique comment il a changé sa perspective sur le bonheur pour se concentrer sur l'action plutôt que sur la recherche de sentiments éphémères. Cela illustre le message que la satisfaction et le succès viennent de l'acceptation et de l'action, pas de la poursuite constante de bonheur.

💡Complaisance

La complaisance est mentionnée comme un état à éviter car elle mène à la stagnation et à l'échec. L'orateur encourage à reconnaître la complaisance et à se remettre en question pour éviter de s'arrêter dans son développement. Cela se rapporte au cycle de l'apprentissage et de la réussite qui est un fil conducteur de la vidéo.

💡Échec

L'échec est présenté comme une étape nécessaire qui mène à l'apprentissage et finalement au succès. L'orateur utilise son expérience personnelle pour montrer comment l'échec a été un catalyseur pour l'amélioration et la croissance. Cela soutient le message que l'on ne peut pas éviter l'échec mais qu'on peut apprendre de lui pour avancer.

💡Ordinaire

L'orateur souligne que les accomplissements extraordinaires proviennent de l'action ordinaire répétée avec persévérance. Cela remet en question l'idée que seuls les gestes spectaculaires conduisent à la réussite, et met en évidence le pouvoir de la routine et de la discipline.

💡Statut

Le statut est discuté en termes de contribution au groupe et de sacrifice personnel. L'orateur explique que le statut est obtenu en donnant plus au groupe que ce que l'on reçoit en retour, ce qui est une inversion des attentes communes sur la manière de gagner du respect et de l'influence.

💡Valeur

La valeur est abordée comme quelque chose qui ne doit pas être négociée, contrairement aux termes et conditions qui peuvent être ajustés. L'orateur insiste sur l'importance de maintenir ses valeurs intactes même dans le contexte des négociations commerciales, ce qui montre comment les principes directs peuvent influencer les décisions et les actions.

Highlights

Assume you're dumber than everyone else to make better decisions and learn more.

Talking less allows for more learning and better decision-making.

Let others edify you by talking about themselves to learn more about them.

Respect yourself first to earn respect from others.

Change your behavior to improve your reputation.

Equip people with simple language to describe your business or products.

Reading one great book multiple times is more valuable than reading many mediocre ones.

Older books often have better content due to the author's intent to transmit knowledge.

Read a book multiple times until you can teach its content.

Behavior change is the true measure of learning from a book.

Champions allocate their time differently, often sacrificing more.

Goodwill compounds faster than money and can be translated into it when desired.

People forget about you quickly after you die, so ignore others' opinions unless they have your best interest.

Extraordinary accomplishments come from doing ordinary things for extended periods.

If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well.

Be willing to negotiate everything except for your values.

Humility is about increasing your regard for others, not decreasing it for yourself.

When you're sad, your focus is on feeling better, which can limit your actions and progress.

Failure leads to learning, which leads to success, which can lead to complacency and back to failure.

Paying to make obvious truths real for oneself can greatly accelerate success.

Transcripts

13 lessons I learned after graduating

college from The Real World that I wish

I had learned earlier the first is that

you make better decisions and you learn

more by assuming that you're dumber than

everyone else the reason this was

something that took me a long time to

learn is that when I was in college it

was all about showing how smart you were

it was about talking more in the group

meetings about raising your hand more in

the classroom I took that and started

translating in the real world and I

realized that I didn't learn very much

because I was the one talking all the

time and it only took a few times of me

getting introduced to somebody someone

would introduce us and I would basically

spend the whole time blabbering on about

how great I was and how much I knew only

to find out later that this person was

way above me in business and whatever

things that I was pursuing at the time

and then I felt tons of Shame and

embarrassment about how stupid I was for

doing that I had to shift the way that I

talked to new people and the way that I

entered rooms and I'll be real I still

talked probably too much but at least

being aware of that lesson as early as

it could I wish I had learned it earlier

fundamentally you can't learn if you're

talking and so if you're trying to learn

then not talk talking is the first

requisite for doing that and if you want

to make better decisions than you need

to learn this was a big Epiphany I had I

got introduced once to somebody I was

walking peripherally after I had left

and somebody else went up to them and

was like do you know who that guy is and

in that moment I realized that my

positioning was now Sky High because I

didn't have to be the one to say it the

idea that I realized was how can I get

other people to edify me because what I

had to allow people to do was to make

the same mistake that I used to make

which is that someone young someone

inexperienced someone less aware

whatever would come up and then start

posturing themselves and blathering on

about everything that they're doing and

me I might be way ahead of them but I

would listen and see if there's anything

interesting and so on that conversation

I learned more than they did I learned

what type of person they are I learned

where they're at with their career if

they had anything interesting that would

be worth following up with they learned

nothing they felt good about themselves

and then later would feel bad about

themselves when that other person went

over and told them and so I was like of

these two scenarios which would I rather

do would I rather have someone have a

conversation with me and then not know

who I was but be able to learn because

that's the that's the worst case

scenario or would I rather blather on

learn nothing either I am above them and

then they're like well [ __ ] that guy he

brags or I'm below them and I'm the

[ __ ] so I stopped doing that so that

was lesson number one lesson number two

was that the hardest respect to earned

is one zone what I realized and this was

something that was really hard for me is

that I had a pretty bad reputation in

the very beginning of my college career

in all of my high school career and it

was because I drank too much I was

irresponsible I slept around a lot and I

wasn't representing the tempers that I

wanted to be and so I felt ashamed of

the behaviors that I did but I didn't

change them and so it was only through a

conversation I had with my father where

I said how do I change my reputation how

do I get these people to stop saying

this stuff and I thought there was some

like PR marketing angle that I could

take that I could control the narrative

and he said why don't you stop being a

piece of [ __ ] and he said that in his

own you know in his own words and I was

like that can't be it I'll figure out a

way when parents talk to kids they're

listening but they're not listening that

really stuck with me and I started

thinking about it and so I said like

well if I wanted to be somebody who's

respectable what would I do and so then

I try to start acting in that way to be

someone who's respect my own I would

earn and so when I started doing that

nothing changed externally people still

treated me like I was a piece of [ __ ]

and they were probably right but my

behavior began to change and then slowly

so did my reputation but it started with

me trying to respect myself first and

then others began to respect me as a

result if you want to control what

people think control what they say this

is the third lesson I learned and this

is more of a business marketing lesson

but if you want to talk about products

and services you have to equip people

with the words to describe what you have

because otherwise you're asking them to

solve the problem of how to describe

your business and if right now you can't

even figure out how you're going to

describe your business and you own the

darn thing how do you expect them to do

it in half second when they're telling

their friend and so this is really about

equipping people with simple language so

they can communicate what you do so for

example at acquisition.com the mission

when I started the business was to

document and share the best practice of

building world-class companies most

people don't know what that means and so

I have now and we probably will shift

the language to make real business

education available to everyone they

functionally mean the same thing but

giving people the words to describe it

in a way that they understand allows me

to give them more so they can explain to

somebody else you get more out of

reading one book that's great five times

than out of reading five mediocre books

I don't read many books and what I mean

by that is I buy lots of books I skim

most of them and quickly realize that

it's not worth reading and so then I

toss them aside because just because

someone wrote a book doesn't mean you

need to finish it has nothing to do with

you it means that they didn't organize

it well I have found that books that are

older in general tend to be better

because the reason the person wrote it

was a different intention they wrote it

because they wanted to transmit

knowledge to the Next Generation whereas

the people who write books now are

either writing for money writing for

notoriety or writing them to sell other

[ __ ] if you find books where the author

is actually writing because they want

you to convey knowledge to the Next

Generation those tend to be better books

in my experience because the intent is

to actually teach not to persuade slight

difference when you do find those gems I

have realized that if I read something

once end to end I still don't know it

yet I will read a book two times three

times four times five times until I can

teach the book when I feel like it is

worth learning and then once I have like

squeeze the book for everything that it

has to the point where I can convey the

message to somebody else like I can

teach the concepts of the book which is

something that I've done many times or

I'll actually make a presentation on the

book so that I can wrap my own

Frameworks around how I can remember it

that's where a lot of these Frameworks

come from is because it's me trying to

make sense of the world in a way that I

can remember if your behavior doesn't

change as a result of reading a book and

it means you've learned nothing which

means it was a waste of time and many

people who read books are just wasting

their time because their behavior

doesn't change and so I consolidate once

I find something that's good I plug

everything I possibly can into it and

suck the juice out of it so that I can

change my behavior as a result which

comes from the Frameworks and how I

think about it how deeply do you

understand the knowledge of the book

there's a handful of books that if you

just did them for the rest of your life

you'd win because if you just did how to

make friends and influence people and

you put it into your DNA you would be

successful number five is that most

Champions do not have something that you

do not they lack something that you have

it's a different thought process because

if all of us have the exact same hours

per day it means that they're allocating

their time differently many times they

eliminate things that you are still

doing they have sacrificed more they

have given up things that you have

continued to have on your tree 3 as

branches that are distracting from

growing up Champions when I look at the

people who are further ahead of me

they're even more ruthless with their

time they even have lower tolerance for

friends family people around them that

are not at the bar that they hold

themselves to for me going through

college or you know when I was younger I

always thought it was about adding to

your plate saying yes to everything

saying yes to opportunity say yes say

yes yes when all I did was I just

completely got distracted and spread

super thin what most Champions have is

singular focus and they are willing to

say no to everything else and that took

me too long to learn six is that

Goodwill compounds faster than money

like if you actually think about what

Goodwill is it's that you have positive

sentiment and you have a degree of

influence over a person's Behavior

that's what good will is if one person

has Goodwill with you and then shares

your stuff with somebody else and you

create Goodwill in that next person you

can double your Goodwill or 10x your

Goodwill in a matter of 12 weeks 10xing

your money in a matter 12 weeks is very

very unlikely Goodwill because it's

based on audiences and humans can

compound significantly faster than money

can and when I realized that that

Goodwill could be translated into money

if I so desired at a future date then I

realized and rather than focusing on the

money that I'm trying to make today

water and I focus on the compounding

vehicle that compounds at a much faster

rate than money does that compounds

tax-free by the way building the

audience is tax free and then when you

choose to have the conversion event you

can do that at your own choosing but if

you focus on the audience you focus on

the Goodwill that will grow

significantly faster than any kind of

monetary move but you can still

translate that later into money when you

want seven is that you're going to die

two weeks after you die most people have

forgotten about you and six months after

you died no one will talk about you and

if they're not caring enough then then

it certainly doesn't matter what they

think about your life now because if

that's the most significant event that's

going to happen in your life which is

that you stop living how much

credibility or weight should we give to

other people's opinions on what we

should do with our lives in my opinion

very little unless the person has a

vested interest in seeing you succeed

comma and the context to provide the

advice most of the times it's just worth

ignoring because they're trying to live

their own life and they're projecting

their own beliefs and experiences on you

and you've spent all this time trying to

improve your own view of reality the the

beliefs that you've shed and shifted

that they have not and so what they

believe to be true is what they're

casting on to you and if you don't like

the life they have then I don't think

it's worth listening to eight

extraordinary accomplishments come from

doing ordinary things for Extraordinary

periods of time this is just me speaking

about me but when I was younger my

action showed that I was more impatient

I always was willing to sacrifice what I

had today to get the quick Buck I you

know I was always I was Shifty like that

because I just thought that that was how

it worked I thought there was some

Shortcut I didn't know about and I would

see the guys on stages being like this

is what we do we do the basics and we do

a lot of it I was like they're just

trying to hold the secrets back and I'm

here to tell you that that is not true

like I wish I could go and shake my

college self and be like if you do one

thing for a very long period of time you

will get very good at it and it will

Compound on to itself and maybe I would

listen to me if I mean if future self

showed up in my living room now I would

totally listen to him but you know what

I mean and so I can't do that so the

next best thing I can do is try and

Shake You by the collar the thing that

makes the action extraordinary is the

commitment to it not the nature of the

action itself working out and doing reps

is not extraordinary if you saw one set

of a workout from me at the gym you

wouldn't think oh this guy is amazing

look at them quads

it's the fact that you do it for 23

years is what compounds on itself if you

listen to one guy make one phone call

you listen to one major league baseball

player one at bat nothing about that is

extraordinary it's the dedication to

doing it over and over and over and over

again despite feeling like there's

better opportunities despite people

approaching you with new and exciting

things but saying that you're committed

to the original Vision you had and that

reality has not changed in such a way

that your native beliefs are no longer

true you said I believe that X Y and Z

is true and as long as that remains to

be true then I will continue on this

path for an extraordinary period of time

and that not the action itself but your

commitment to the action is what makes

someone extraordinary nine if it's worth

doing it's worth doing well this is a

really great saying I shortcuted so much

stuff when I was younger I just wanted

to like get it done get it done get it

done rather than doing it well there's

kind of two ways you can take the saying

which is why I like it so much is that

if it's worth doing it's worth doing

well because many times I was doing

things that were not worth doing I

didn't have the time to do things well

because I was doing so many things that

were not worth doing the first criteria

is what problem are we solving what am I

hoping to accomplish is this worth doing

at all because if it is worth doing then

I have to understand that to do it comma

right to do it well it's going to take

this much time now given that is it

still worth doing and if it passes that

test of a being worth doing in the Long

Haul and because it is worth doing worth

doing well then it gives us this lens

through which to see the activities we

do so that we can prioritize the things

that will make us the most money are

going to get us closer to the goals we

have and so younger me had more energy

than me does now I make way more money

than younger me did is because I do

fewer things and I do different things

than I did then and now if I write a

book I'll take a year on writing the

book because if it's worth doing it's

worth doing well because I understand

that taking one year today will mean

that that book might sit and sell and

distribute itself to millions of people

over the next 50 years or 100 years or

after I'm dead compared to me just

putting words on a page that are pretty

good and then shipping it and I think

the vast majority of people don't get

the difference between good and great

the Ocean between good work and great

great work is vast it's five times ten

times the work to go from something good

to something great which is why you have

to be really selective about the few

things you choose to do that are worth

doing and in being worth doing worth

doing well 10. be willing to negotiate

everything except for your values and so

there were so many things when I was

coming up that like in college even

right after college is jobs like I

always just took things at face value so

prices terms relationships everything I

took it face value so whatever someone

presented I said yes or no to I have now

realized that virtually everything is

negotiable people present with basically

their best bad guess and they're hoping

that someone takes them by the hand and

says you know that makes no sense what

if we did it this way what problem are

you solving what problem am I solving

and then ask the right questions to get

someone else's true desires and wants

and then knowing what your own true

desires and wants and what you're

willing to give up allows you to make

better deals and so I used to think of

negotiating as a zero-sum game and it's

not at all you can find a way where both

parties get better than they were before

which is the entire point that is how

negotiating works if you're doing it

well and so I didn't understand that I

thought everything was an armrest so I

thought everything was like this for

that Tit for Tat like no give and I also

thought really short about it I was like

I was trying to get one over I was

ruthless with vendors I swung in the

other direction so first I didn't

negotiate anything and then I found out

you could negotiate and then tried to

get everyone to give me their last penny

but then I realized that this long term

doesn't create good relationships and

they will not be loyal to you at all

which long term has a more negative

impact than giving them the extra 10 and

having an amicable relationship you want

to negotiate everything except for your

values I negotiated everything in that

second example including my values

because I was doing business in a way

that was contrary to the values that I

wanted to espouse wanted to embody

because the deals we do with

acquisition.com for example like I could

probably ask for significantly more than

I do and I've had many times for people

like I want to give you this I'm like I

don't want that because I don't think

you know what that means this is what I

think is fair today and in 10 years and

so it's balancing both your need today

your need in 10 years and their need

today and there needed 10 years and you

have those four points and you try and

find the closest point given your

reality and you can explain that this is

how you're thinking through it with them

and I think they will appreciate all

four data points on the map to come to

the best solution for today and tomorrow

11.

[Music]

humility this is a big one because I

want to be a different voice on this

because I have heard all over the

Internet recently people saying humility

is stupid if you looked up what the word

means you wouldn't want to be it because

if you look it up on Google it says

thinking less of oneself this is why

looking and defining terms is important

because if you look at Merriam-Webster

for example it's lack of Pride or

arrogance I don't think people would say

you wouldn't want that I was like no I

think I think people are okay not being

popular arrogant I think that's okay but

even more so and the definition that I

have taken on is actually the exact

opposite of that which is it is not

decreasing your regard for self but

increasing your regard for others that's

from Clayton Christensen who's a Harvard

Professor go to the human I thought that

posturing when I was younger was the

thing that would get people to like me

but what I realized later was that you

gain status by giving more to the group

than you get this is especially true for

guys it's probably true for girls but I

can't speak to that if you want to gain

status the way you do it is by

sacrificing more for the group that

everyone else does if you want to gain

status in a company you give more to the

company than anyone else does more than

company gives you back because what do

they do they reward that behavior the

group rewards the person who gives to

the group it's how it works the people

who take from the group they only go in

to get status from the group end up

getting banished by the group and batted

down because everyone wants to keep that

person down because they don't serve

anyone else and so it was only by

realizing that I had to give my life in

order to get it I had to give status I

had to serve because when you serve

someone you're giving them status you're

increasing your guard for others when I

gave status I got it back when I gave

respect first I would get respect back

and it was understanding that group

dynamic which is what made me president

of the fraternity that I was in all of

these things started compounding when I

realized that truth and if you do that I

promise you you will have all the status

you want 12.

the happy man has a thousand Wishes the

sad man has won this is a little bit

more of a heartfelt one for me because

when I was younger I was definitely

angrier probably darker in general and a

lot of that came because I had

expectations that were fictitious real

or otherwise from other people in my

mind that existed who were constantly

judging the behaviors and actions I was

doing every day and were telling me that

I was not enough in some ways that

created and reinforced behaviors that I

still continue to this day in terms of

the actions I take but the way that I

feel and think about them has shifted

when you are sad you want to not be sad

that's the main focus you want to feel

better and many times people will take

the short-term way of getting out of

that which is alcohol drugs Etc because

in the moment they can feel better

everyone just wants to feel better and

so when I think about things that I used

to think people were wronging me right

you know get all angry and I'd spin

myself out I use a different frame now

which is they just wanted to feel better

do you think it had nothing to do with

me and they just wanted to feel better

about themselves and that's given me a

lot of Peace about many of the things

that used to anger me being able to

quiet the hundreds of non-existent

voices in my head that were constantly

judging the activities that I was doing

and labeling them good or bad or good

enough or not good enough Etc took up a

tremendous amount of my attention and

because of that all of my focus was on

feeling better and so I couldn't

actually have any energy left over to do

stuff because all I was focused on was

feeling better and all I was spending

all my day was in my head trying to not

feel like [ __ ] and doing both short and

long-term things to do that and so it

was only when I came up with a mantra

which I have said before but [ __ ]

happiness which sounds ironic because I

said the person who's happy is a

thousand wishes but in choosing not to

admit the deficiency between my current

state and the future state of what I

desire to be I was able to accept where

I was and then the deficiency of not

being good enough not being happy enough

disintegrated in my mind and then I was

able to focus on just doing things and

then when I started doing things I

started making progress when I started

making progress I started looking back

and feeling proud of how far I had come

because it wasn't about the many voices

outside it was about the only one that

mattered and so that shift is what I

think genuinely from Spirit social

standpoint is the thing that was able to

give me the strength to do some of the

things we have done but I wouldn't have

been able to ever start on this path

because I was paralyzed about what I

thought other people were going to think

about me only to realize that they

weren't thinking about me at all 13.

failure leads to learning learning leads

to success success leads to complacency

complacency leads to failure and so a

lot of times I remember thinking that

like there was a destination but I think

the actual entrepreneurial cycle it's

not a destination it's not linear it's

cyclical and so that's why I talk about

entrepreneurship in terms of Seasons

because there are Cycles where you learn

a lot right I used to say this a lot

where I'd say either the business is

growing or I am either I have learned

lessons and I am applying those lessons

to the business and the business is

growing or the business is not growing

and has problems and now I am the one

receiving the lessons from the business

and until I learned the lesson that I'm

supposed to learn the business will

cease to grow until I have learned this

lesson until I beat this boss at this

level and the difference between video

games in real life is that sometimes in

order to beat that boss you're not doing

it in 10 minutes it might take you 10

years recognizing that you are not above

the cycle but that that cycle is

inevitable because you have failure

learning success complacency the goal is

if you can identify that how quickly can

you get back to learning success

learning success and try and skip the

complacency step altogether it still

happens to a degree when I can start

feeling the feelings and it's rearing

its head I'm aware of it and it allows

me to speed through it faster into the

same degree I stop labeling things as

good or bad because if I'm failing it

means I'm about to go through learning

and I see learning is good and on the

flip side if I'm succeeding I succeeding

is good and so either way they lead to

my success and framing it that way took

a lot of the judgment and the label and

the depression around not achievement

away from me and also when things are

good it allowed me to not be so high on

my Supply because I knew that whenever

things were good everything is good is

followed by something that is not as

good and so you always have regression

to the mean right you have regression to

the mean and so things are amazing then

it means they can only go down from here

if things are terrible it means it can

only go up 14 is that I would pay any

amount of money to make obvious truths

real for me there is a reality that no

one can see right now true reality and

no one can see it because we are shape

by the many things that we've been told

throughout our lives and many of those

things were not true much of the path of

Entrepreneurship in my opinion is

shedding these false truths so that you

can see the world more clearly if you

see these business people are super far

ahead and all of a sudden it's like they

can lose it and then they can get it all

back in and things seem so seamless for

them it's because they have a more

accurate view of reality than you do and

so imagine trying to hit a target with a

blindfold on you're just gonna keep

missing and keep missing and keep

missing now imagine there's a guy next

to you who's got a blindfold on too but

it's clear and he's just nailing it and

you're like what the hell I'm doing the

same thing with my wrist I'm doing you

know I've got I've got all this

technique down it's simply because he

sees the Target and he sees all the

environment around it more clearly than

you do and for me the whole concept of

ignorance tax and ignorance debt has

been one that I have taken with me for

life and I actually heard this a speaker

said this on stage and he was actually

using it as a close for the audience he

said how much is not making a million

dollars a year costing you he's like

well if you make fifty thousand dollars

a year right now he said it cost you

nine hundred and fifty thousand dollars

a year to not not know how to make a

million dollars and I thought about that

and I was like [ __ ] we were paying a

Debt Service to a false reality in order

to get the real one and so for me I will

pay any amount of money to speed that

process up to see the world more clearly

in a way that is true and if the views

that I have do not serve me and someone

else is further ahead of me in the game

than they are better at the game of

business than me in some way and in that

way I can learn of them doesn't matter

what they're doing some people are like

oh this guy's unethical this guy's you

can learn from everyone if they're

making more money than you you can learn

from them and so taking that and taking

my ego head off right taking my ego hat

off and saying like I'm the student here

this guy's better in some way what does

he believe to be true about the world I

don't or what do I believe to be true

that isn't and simply trying to observe

to see those realities is something that

I will always pay for if you're a

company and you're doing 10 million

dollars or more acquisition.com would

like to help you get 200 million if

that's you go to acquisition.com

everybody else enjoy all the free stuff