How Picking Up Women Changed My Life As a Super Shy Guy

Summary

Eugene Choy shares his transformative journey from a shy, socially anxious individual to a confident man through the art of pickup and seduction. Initially struggling with rejection and embarrassment, he persevered, learning to handle social pressure and rejection. Over 12 years, he improved his social skills, engaging with hundreds of women, and discovered the true power of emotional resilience and social freedom, which he considers the key to overcoming life's challenges.

Takeaways

• 😀 Eugene Choy's life was transformed by learning the art of pickup and seduction.
• 🤔 He grew up as a shy and quiet person, struggling with social anxiety and difficulty in social interactions.
• 🕵️‍♂️ In 2012, at the age of 20, he discovered the pickup community and started his journey to improve his social skills.
• 🎥 He was inspired by videos of pickup artists and believed in the possibility of becoming a socially adept person.
• 🤯 The initial phase of his journey was challenging, with numerous rejections and embarrassing moments.
• 💪 Despite the difficulties, he persevered and continued to work on his skills, eventually seeing improvements in his interactions.
• 🌟 After three months, he began to receive positive responses and had his first sexual encounter, validating his efforts.
• 📈 Over 12 years, he has improved significantly but acknowledges there is still room for growth in his abilities.
• 🔢 He has had experiences with a variety of women, mostly average in attractiveness, but is now aiming higher.
• 🧘 The journey has taught him emotional resilience, perseverance, and the importance of being at ease in social situations.
• 💡 The ultimate lesson he learned is the value of emotional resilience and equanimity, which he considers the key to true social freedom.

Q & A

What was Eugene Choy's initial personality trait before engaging in the pickup community?

Eugene Choy was a very shy and quiet person who had difficulty even saying hi to immediate family members and making eye contact with them.

What year did Eugene Choy start his journey in the pickup community?

Eugene Choy started his journey in the pickup community in 2012.

What was the first major impact of the pickup community on Eugene's beliefs about social skills and women?

The first major impact was that it shattered his previous beliefs and opened his mind to new possibilities, giving him hope that he could become a normal social person.

How did Eugene initially approach learning the art of pickup?

Eugene immediately threw himself into the deep end of the pool known as 'game', learning to approach complete strangers, primarily females, and attempting to flirt with them.

What were some of the challenges Eugene faced during his early attempts at pickup?

He faced challenges such as not knowing what to say, stumbling in conversations, feeling embarrassed, sweating profusely, turning red, and having trouble maintaining eye contact.

How did Eugene's experiences with rejection and failure influence his persistence in the pickup community?

Despite the rejections and failures, Eugene remembered his first miserable 20 years and used that as motivation to not go back to his old lifestyle, which led him to persevere.

What was the turning point for Eugene in his pickup journey that made him believe in the possibility of success?

The turning point was about 3 months into his journey when he started getting somewhat good reactions from some girls, which proved to him that success was possible.

How has the pickup community helped Eugene in terms of his emotional resilience and social skills?

The pickup community helped Eugene learn to handle rejection, persevere in adversity, push through feelings of hopelessness, and handle extreme social pressure.

What is Eugene's current status in his pickup journey after 12 years?

After 12 years, Eugene still finds himself to be pretty lackluster but acknowledges that he has come far from where he started and continues to work on improving his skills.

What does Eugene consider the real lesson or superpower he has gained from his pickup journey?

Eugene considers emotional resilience and being at ease in his own body, especially when engaging with other people, as the real superpower he has gained from his journey.

What is Eugene's perspective on the importance of being at ease within one's own body according to his pickup experiences?

Eugene believes that being at ease within one's own body is crucial for true social freedom and avoiding the need for outside substances or activities as crutches to avoid feelings or experiences.

Outlines

00:00

😀 Overcoming Shyness Through Pickup Artistry

Eugene Choy shares his personal journey of transformation from a shy and quiet individual to learning the art of pickup and seduction. He describes his initial social anxiety and the significant change that began in 2012 when he discovered the pickup community. This community offered him skills to attract women for various relationships. Despite his introverted nature, Eugene was determined not to remain a virgin and socially isolated, leading him to explore pickup techniques through YouTube videos. He was inspired by the possibility of becoming a socially adept person and began to practice these skills immediately.

05:02

😳 The Challenges of Becoming a Pickup Artist

Eugene recounts the immense challenges he faced as he began to approach and flirt with strangers, primarily women, in various public settings. His initial attempts were fraught with embarrassment, awkwardness, and rejection. He struggled with maintaining eye contact, speaking coherently, and dealing with negative reactions, including being told off by the women or their companions. Despite these setbacks, Eugene persisted, driven by his desire to escape his previous life of social anxiety and isolation.

10:06

🚀 Progress and First Success in the Pickup Community

After several months of relentless practice and facing numerous rejections, Eugene started to see improvements in his social interactions. He began to receive more positive responses from women, and eventually, he had his first sexual encounter, which validated his efforts and the effectiveness of the pickup skills he was learning. This success marked a significant milestone in his journey, proving to him that perseverance and practice could lead to tangible results.

15:07

🤔 Reflections on Growth and the Broader Impact of Pickup Artistry

Eugene reflects on his 12-year journey in the pickup community, acknowledging the progress he has made from his initial social ineptitude to having had numerous sexual encounters. While he admits that most of his experiences were with women he rated as average or below, he emphasizes the value of the personal growth he has achieved. He discusses the importance of emotional resilience and the ability to be at ease in social situations, which he considers the true superpower gained from his experiences. Eugene also contemplates the broader implications of his journey, noting that even those with typical social development face challenges, such as high divorce rates.

20:12

💪 The Pursuit of Emotional Resilience and Social Freedom

In the final paragraph, Eugene discusses his ongoing pursuit of attracting higher-rated women and the importance of emotional resilience, or equanimity, as the ultimate goal of his journey. He sees social freedom as the ability to be comfortable in one's own body and emotions, regardless of the social context. Eugene acknowledges that this journey has been a source of joy and personal development, and he expresses gratitude for the lessons learned and the community that supported his transformation.

Keywords

💡Pickup

In the context of the video, 'pickup' refers to the art of approaching and attracting potential romantic or sexual partners, often through various social skills and techniques. The speaker, Eugene Choy, discovered the 'pickup community' in 2012, which provided him with a new set of skills and strategies to overcome his shyness and social anxiety. This concept is central to the video's narrative as it marks the beginning of Eugene's transformation.

💡Seduction Community

The 'seduction community' is a subculture or social group focused on teaching and discussing techniques for attracting and seducing romantic or sexual partners. Eugene mentions this community as the place where he learned various skills to improve his interactions with women, which was a significant turning point in his life.

💡Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is a mental health condition characterized by a persistent fear of social situations that might lead to embarrassment or humiliation. Eugene describes his first 20 years as being filled with severe social anxiety, which made even simple interactions with family members difficult. This term is crucial as it sets the stage for his journey to overcome his fears.

💡Rejection

Rejection is the act of refusing or dismissing someone's advances or proposals. In the script, Eugene talks about learning to handle rejection as a key part of his journey in the pickup community. He faced numerous rejections during his initial attempts at approaching women, which was a challenging but necessary part of his growth.

💡Emotional Resilience

Emotional resilience is the ability to adapt and recover from challenging situations, such as rejection or failure. Eugene emphasizes that emotional resilience is the 'real superpower' he gained from his experiences. It allowed him to persevere through difficult social interactions and to continue improving his social skills.

💡Perseverance

Perseverance refers to the act of continuing in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little hope of success. Eugene's story is one of perseverance, as he continued to work on his pickup skills despite initial failures and rejections, eventually leading to some success.

💡Dating Apps

Dating apps are mobile applications designed to help people meet and connect with potential romantic partners. Eugene mentions using dating apps as part of his journey to improve his social and romantic interactions, indicating that they were another tool in his quest for social freedom.

💡Social Freedom

Social freedom, in Eugene's narrative, refers to the ability to feel at ease and comfortable in social situations, regardless of the context or the people involved. He sees this as the ultimate goal of his journey, beyond just attracting romantic partners, as it represents a state of emotional and social well-being.

💡Equanimity

Equanimity is a state of mental calmness, composure, and balance, even in difficult circumstances. Eugene uses the term to describe the emotional resilience he developed, which allowed him to remain calm and composed in various social situations, a key aspect of his journey towards social freedom.

💡Mind [__]

The term 'mind [_]' is used by Eugene to describe moments of significant realization or shock, where his beliefs or understandings were challenged or changed. He mentions such moments when he first saw pickup artists in action and after his first sexual experience, indicating pivotal points in his personal development.

💡Inadequacy

Inadequacy is a feeling of being insufficient or not good enough. Eugene speaks about overcoming feelings of inadequacy as he progressed in the pickup community. Initially, he felt very inadequate due to his lack of social skills, but through his journey, he learned to overcome these feelings and gain confidence.

Highlights

Eugene Choy's transformative journey from a shy individual to learning the art of pickup and seduction.

The initial 20 years of social anxiety and the pivotal moment in 2012 that led to discovering the pickup community.

The revelation of witnessing pickup artists in action and the profound impact on his beliefs about social skills and women.

Eugene's decision to immerse himself in the challenging world of pickup, despite his inexperience and fear.

The difficulty and embarrassment faced during the initial attempts at approaching and flirting with strangers.

The perseverance through numerous rejections and the determination not to revert to his former introverted lifestyle.

The breakthrough after three months of practice and the first successful sexual encounter, validating the possibility of improvement.

The ongoing journey of self-improvement, including the use of dating apps to expand social skills.

Eugene's reflection on his progress over 12 years in the pickup community and the realization of his limitations.

The acknowledgment of having slept with hundreds of women, yet recognizing the average attractiveness of these encounters.

The deeper lesson of emotional resilience and learning to handle rejection and adversity.

The importance of equanimity and being at ease in one's own body, both alone and in social situations.

The concept of true social freedom and its relation to emotional resilience in various social scenarios.

Eugene's insights on overcoming the need for external validation and developing inner peace.

The acknowledgment of the prevalence of unhappy relationships and the perspective that his past social struggles were not as detrimental as perceived.

Eugene's aspirations to continue improving and attracting higher quality partners in his pickup journey.

The closing thoughts on the joy of playing the game and the gratitude towards the pickup community for the personal growth experienced.

Transcripts

hello my name is Eugene

Choy and what I want to talk about

today is

how learning to pick up women

has completely changed my

life I grew up being a very shy and

quiet

person for most of my

life for the first 20 years of my

life I had difficulty

even saying

hi to immediate family

members let alone even make eye contact

with

them and again it's been like this for

the first 20 years of my

life that is

until in 2012

I discovered the art of

pickup and the seduction Community where

guys like

me can learn various

skills and work on

them to

attract the women that they want to

sleep with

have a relationship

with or create whatever

possibility that one can

imagine with said

women now before I get

into my pickup

journey I also want to mention how the

first 20 years of my life

living as a very shy and quiet

person who totally afraid

of being around

people just severe social

anxiety it was an

overall a pretty mundane boring but also

somewhat miserable

existence I often wondered

if this is just how I

am and this is

just how I'm going to live for the rest

of my

life but then else knew that this

is not something I

can

continue I didn't want to continue

living this

way and essentially die a

virgin never

having talk to anyone let

alone have sex with

anyone so going into my pickup journey

in 2012 at age

20

I

discovered some videos

on

YouTube for the first time in my life

witnessing

footage of so-called pickup

artists

literally from saying

hello to a complete stranger female

stranger to having sex with her

within several minutes of meeting her

it was one of the biggest mind [ __ ] of

my

life to

witness such a thing it totally

shattered

my beliefs and reality

around women

and

social skills in general

it opened my mind

to

possibilities for the first time in my

life I had a glimmer of

hope that

maybe if I work really hard at

this this pickup

thing then I too

could eventually

become a normal social person

who has sex

regularly and

so I began my

journey

by immediately throwing myself in to the

deep end of

the

pool known as

game essentially I was learning how

to run before I

walk

and picture this going from someone who

couldn't make eye

contact or say hello to even people I

know going from that to approaching

complete

strangers primarily

females and attempting to flirt with

them to have sex with

them I mean that's

just a big jump and even that's an

understatement I was asking a lot of

Myself by throwing myself into the deep

end but I

did as soon as I discovered the pickup

community and watched some

videos I was inspired

to start hitting the is right

away

I talked

to cold

approach women everywhere I could there

were no

limits whether it

was my college

campus cafes

stores grocery stores

libraries

restaurants frat parties bars

clubs you name

it and as one could

imagine it was extremely

difficult I had no idea what to say

I stumbled and fell flat on my

face I was so

embarrassed in every interaction I was

sweating

profusely turning extremely red and

heating up to the point where my glasses

totally fogged

up I

stuttered a

lot still of course had trouble

maintaining eye

contact and this of course naturally

creeped out a lot of the girls that I

called

approached I've been told to [ __ ] off

I've Been Told

to [ __ ] off by the girl's

boyfriend sometimes their mother or

father I've been

ignored I've

been called Security

on I've been even

called the cops on

it was definitely a challenging phase in

my life especially the first few

months since I discovered

pickup

I felt often very

hopeless I wanted to

go back

to living an introverted

lifestyle watching movies and TV shows

alone in my

room I was really tempted to go back to

my comfort

zone

because I was not getting the results I

wanted at first

I was primarily getting rejected with

bad reactions and I

felt very

inadequate even more

inadequate than before I discovered

pickup however

I

remembered the first miserable 20 years

of my life where I was still a virgin

and didn't

know how to say hi

or make contact I make eye contact with

others I just couldn't go back to

that so I kept persevering

I used sheer

will

to power through and

continue working on these so-called

pickup

skills and sure

enough about 3 months in I finally

saw the light at the end of the

tunnel I be to get somewhat good

reactions some girls

were reciprocating and being receptive

to my

advances

and eventually I had my first

s now granted she was

a a 4 out of 10

but

nonetheless it was

another mind [ __ ] moments

because when I had sex with this

girl it totally

proved to me

that this shit's possible

that I can actually work on this

thing and get better at

it and I

did got my first

lay followed by many many more

lays I kept

improving I began to use dating apps as

well which also furthered

my experience in the

game and eventually I would go on to

sleep

with

hundreds of

women

now I've been in the game since 2012

which makes it 12

years it's 2024 now

now being in the game 12

years I still find myself to

be pretty

lackluster as far

as or should I say considering how long

I've been in the

game I've slept with only a few six out

of 10 but

Mo most of those girls those few hundred

girls that I slept with

were average at best five out of

10 a handful of them being even below

that

but I want to mention

that yes I have come very

far considering where I came from

but I also have a lot of work to

do and it's apparent

that I'm not particularly gifted in

this

area but it doesn't matter because the

insights

and lessons I picked up along the way

are invaluable

I've learned to handle

rejection I've learned to

persevere in the midst of

adversity I've learned to keep pushing

through

despite feelings and thoughts of

hopelessness

arising I've learned to

handle extreme social pressure dealing

with all kinds

of interesting

obstacles during my pickup

journey I am forever grateful for the

pickup community

and the journey it has provided for me

I've I don't feel inadequate in any way

anymore

and I know this logically

because a lot of neurotypical or should

I say normal people who had a normal

social

upbringing even even they have their own

[Music]

struggles in the US at least 60% of

marriages end in divorce statistically

speaking and mind you that's not

including

separations and unhappy miserable

marriages so I don't think I missed out

on much

being a socially inet person for the

first 20 years of my

life and right now in my pickup journey

I want to attract be able to attract

more

sixes on the

regular and and eventually long term I

want to get to the

sevens and so on and so

forth but I also want to mention

that this whole journey goes

beyond getting laid or

attracting gorgeous

women the

real lesson here is

emotional

resilience

and learning to be at

ease in my own

body not just when I'm

alone but when I'm around other

people and not only that but while I'm

engaging with other

people through myriads of activities

with them

I think that's the real

superpower I've always felt comfortable

alone but being at ease and

comfortable

while engaging with the people around

me now to me that's a [ __ ] Flex

and that's true

power true social

freedom is the bottom line

here and true social Freedom again goes

back to emotional

resilience in any social situation that

may arise

because again the bottom line is

that whatever addiction that we have

that we don't

want is the result of not being at ease

within our own body so we look

to outside substances or people or

even so-called healthy activities like

the

gym or even

meditation we use it as a crutch to

avoid feeling what we're feeling now or

experiencing what we're experiencing

now and

developing that emotional resilience or

another word to describe it is equin

is I think the biggest

Insight that I got from this entire

thing and it's something that I will

continue working on and building

on possibly the rest of my

life and it's

absolutely been a joy

to play that game

thank you for

watching until next time