Why You Can't Control Your Motivation
Summary
TLDRThe video script addresses the common struggle with motivation and the feeling of being stuck in life. It emphasizes the importance of defining clear and achievable goals instead of vague aspirations like 'moving forward in life.' The speaker suggests reframing goals to be specific actions, understanding the emotional roots of feeling stuck, and leveraging habits over relying solely on motivation. The script also touches on the fluctuating nature of motivation and the need to capitalize on it when it arises and to create environments that naturally foster motivation.
Takeaways
- π Define 'Moving Forward': The speaker emphasizes the importance of defining what 'moving forward in life' means to you, as it's a vague concept that the brain can't operationalize without clear tasks.
- π― Set Achievable Goals: It's crucial to set goals that are possible to achieve, as the brain is motivated by tasks it perceives as attainable, not by impossible aspirations.
- π‘ Operationalize Tasks: Break down tasks into smaller, manageable parts to help the brain understand and execute them, which can increase motivation.
- π§ Understand the Brain's Efficiency: The brain is an efficient organ that conserves energy and is more likely to be motivated by tasks it deems possible and necessary.
- π€ Reflect on Personal Value: Instead of focusing on what you 'should' do, reflect on what you genuinely care about and value, as this can lead to intrinsic motivation.
- ποΈββοΈ Develop Habits: While motivation can fluctuate, building habits can lead to productivity even when motivation is low, as habits require initial effort but then become routine.
- π Accept Motivation Fluctuations: Recognize that motivation is not constant and will naturally fluctuate; the key is to capitalize on it when it's high and to understand what triggers it.
- π Capitalize on Motivation: Use moments of high motivation to complete tasks that can be set up for continuation, ensuring that progress can be picked up later.
- π Rekindle Motivation: Find ways to reignite motivation, such as through external triggers or by creating a conducive environment that fosters productivity.
- π€ Social Support: Having a support system or engaging in group activities can provide the external motivation needed to accomplish tasks, even when personal motivation is lacking.
- π± Emotional Root: Often, feelings of being stuck have an emotional root, and understanding this root can help in addressing the underlying issues that affect motivation.
Q & A
What is the main issue discussed in the script regarding motivation?
-The main issue discussed is the lack of motivation and how it often stems from setting unrealistic goals or not clearly defining what 'moving forward in life' means.
Why do people often struggle with defining 'going forward in life'?
-People struggle because 'going forward in life' is a vague concept that the brain cannot operationalize into specific tasks or actions.
What is the role of the frontal lobes in relation to motivation and task execution?
-The frontal lobes are responsible for planning and executing tasks. They require clear and achievable goals to generate motivation and initiate action.
How does the speaker suggest we should approach habit formation in relation to motivation?
-The speaker suggests that while habit formation is beneficial, it requires initial effort and time to establish, which can be challenging when one is already lacking motivation.
What is the common pitfall when trying to understand why we feel stuck, according to the script?
-The common pitfall is that our brains generate numerous justifications for feeling stuck, which may not be the actual root cause but rather a result of the emotional state.
Why is it important to distinguish between 'should' and 'care' when setting goals?
-It's important because goals based on 'should' lack intrinsic motivation, whereas goals based on 'care' are more likely to be aligned with personal values and interests, thus increasing motivation.
How can understanding the fluctuations of motivation help in productivity?
-Understanding fluctuations allows individuals to capitalize on moments of high motivation and to set up structures or habits that can rekindle motivation during low periods.
What is the significance of the brain's efficiency in the context of motivation?
-The brain's efficiency means it conserves energy by not investing in goals it perceives as unachievable, thus affecting motivation levels.
How does the script relate motivation to the concept of cognitive biases?
-The script suggests that cognitive biases can arise from emotional states, such as feeling stuck, leading the mind to justify these feelings with various reasons that may not be the actual cause.
What strategy does the speaker recommend for dealing with a lack of motivation?
-The speaker recommends defining clear and achievable goals, understanding the emotional roots of feeling stuck, and focusing on what one genuinely cares about rather than what one 'should' do.
How can one avoid the trap of justifications when trying to understand their lack of motivation?
-One can avoid this trap by recognizing that justifications often come after the emotional state and by seeking the actual experiences or events that led to the feeling of being stuck.
Outlines
π Overcoming Lack of Motivation and Defining Life Goals
The speaker addresses the issue of lack of motivation by emphasizing the need to define clear and achievable life goals. They suggest that many people set unrealistic goals, leading to a sense of being stuck. The speaker also introduces the idea that motivation is not a constant and that habits play a crucial role in productivity. They highlight the importance of breaking down the concept of 'moving forward in life' into actionable tasks and understanding the brain's role in planning and executing tasks. The speaker encourages the audience to consider what 'moving forward' means to them and to recognize that the brain is efficient and conserves energy by focusing on achievable tasks.
π€ Understanding the Emotional Roots of Feeling Stuck
This paragraph delves into the emotional aspects of feeling stuck and the importance of understanding the root causes of this feeling. The speaker explains that the brain struggles to operationalize vague concepts like 'going forward in life' and suggests that defining what this means is crucial. They also discuss the process of identifying why one feels the need to move forward, using personal examples to illustrate the point. The speaker warns against the pitfalls of cognitive biases that arise from feelings of being stuck and advises the audience to focus on one area of life to change at a time, rather than being overwhelmed by a multitude of issues.
π The Role of Emotions in Creating and Justifying Goals
The speaker discusses the relationship between emotions and the creation of goals, noting that emotions often precede logical justifications. They argue that people tend to create goals based on what they 'should' do rather than what they genuinely care about or value. This approach can lead to a lack of intrinsic motivation. The speaker encourages the audience to identify what they truly care about in life as a means to generate authentic and motivating goals. They also touch on the idea that motivation is not a constant state and that it's important to capitalize on moments of motivation and create a life that fosters pro-motivational external sources.
π Capitalizing on Motivation and Creating Sustainable Habits
In this paragraph, the speaker focuses on strategies for maintaining motivation and forming sustainable habits. They acknowledge that motivation fluctuates and suggest ways to capitalize on it when it is present. The speaker advises completing segments of work that can be picked up later, thus preserving the momentum of motivation. They also discuss the importance of setting up external structures, such as regular study groups, to evoke motivation even when it is lacking. The speaker emphasizes the need to understand what triggers motivation and to shape one's life to include these triggers, ultimately leading to a more productive and motivated lifestyle.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Motivation
π‘Habits
π‘Frontal Lobes
π‘Goal Setting
π‘Operationalizing
π‘Emotion
π‘Cognitive Bias
π‘Fluctuation
π‘Should vs. Care
π‘Intrinsic Motivation
π‘Psychotherapy
Highlights
Defining 'going forward in life' is crucial for motivation as it helps to clarify what specific tasks need to be accomplished.
Setting unrealistic goals can lead to a lack of motivation, as the brain seeks efficiency and avoids wasting energy on impossible tasks.
The importance of habit development over reliance on motivation for productivity, despite the initial effort required to form habits.
The time frame for habit formation can range from a few weeks to six months, indicating the varying difficulty in establishing new behaviors.
The brain's efficiency in motivating actions it deems possible, contrasting with the lack of motivation for tasks perceived as unachievable.
The role of the frontal lobes in planning and executing tasks, and the challenge of operationalizing vague concepts like 'going forward in life'.
The suggestion to reframe the concept of moving forward to make it a tangible and actionable goal for the brain to process.
The idea that motivation is intrinsically linked to a sense of accomplishment and the brain's assessment of success probabilities.
The emotional roots of feeling stuck and the importance of identifying and addressing these emotions to overcome a lack of motivation.
The cognitive biases that arise from emotional states and how they can mislead our understanding of why we feel stuck.
The process of identifying the root cause of feeling stuck by reflecting on significant life changes and emotional shifts.
The distinction between goals generated from 'should' and those derived from genuine care and values, and the impact on intrinsic motivation.
The fluctuating nature of motivation and the importance of capitalizing on it when it is present.
Strategies for maintaining motivation, such as creating a conducive environment and setting up external triggers.
The importance of completing segments of work to make it easier to pick up later, aiding in the preservation of motivation.
The analogy of finding a needle in a haystack to describe the challenge of identifying the source of feeling stuck.
The advice on moving from 'should' to 'care' when setting goals to enhance intrinsic motivation and personal fulfillment.
Transcripts
so a lot of people who are struck stuck
with a lack of motivation one of the key
things that you need to do is just
first define what going forward in life
is right so what does that actually mean
like what are the tasks that you need to
accomplish to quote unquote move forward
because a lot of the reason that we stay
stuck in life is because we set
ourselves up with a goal that's
impossible to achieve okay
so yesterday
you know at 12 o'clock when we were
concerned that
our guests today may not be able to make
it we sent out a panic
tweet
and thankfully the internet responded so
thank you internet otherwise we would
just be i don't even know what we would
be doing today maybe playing some dota
okay
so let's start from the top this is like
so good right so i lack any motivation
going forward in life what can i do and
this is gonna be like a common theme
that we see here so let's just
see if there's is there more no
wow is this the only one i could have
sworn there was a ton of questions about
motivation
okay
what can i do
so
um and i saw that there was a reply here
where someone was talking about you know
don't rely on motivation
build habits instead
and that's that's a good thought
um
habit development i think is a very very
good way to get productive
the problem with developing habits is
that they require some amount of like
effort to start right so this is like a
really really excellent point that you
should rely on habits instead of
motivation for productivity but the
problem with habits is that in order to
form a habit you have to do something
for somewhere between two weeks and six
months and if you look at research on
habit formation that's actually how long
it can take so like
the earliest habits tend to form in a
few weeks and some some studies on habit
formation show that it actually takes
like six months
so the challenge here is that sure if we
can get to the point of habit that
outweighs motivation but if you lack any
for uh motivation going forward in life
like what can you do
and so i think this is where a lot of
times
you know when we sort of lack any
motivation
there's this concept of going forward in
my life which i think you really have to
deconstruct so like when people say like
i lack any motivation to go forward in
my life but i want you all to think us
for a second about the frontal lobes so
our frontal lobes are the part of our
brain that plan and execute tasks so if
i say like okay like i have to talk
about crypto today then my frontal lobes
are like okay so let's think a little
bit about okay what's the sequence when
are we going to talk about crypto what
are we going to say about crypto and
there's certain like there's certain
operationalizing so breaking a task into
its constituent pieces
and then once we break that task into
its constituent pieces we can sort of
move forward with it
the problem is that going forward in my
life is not a task that your
brain can accomplish
right so it's like how do you how do you
measure going forward in life how does
your brain know that you have moved
forward in life
and this is the important thing about
the brain is that the brain is a very
very efficient organ and it's not going
to
waste energy okay so if you think about
like
what does your brain get motivated to do
it gets motivated to do things that it
knows are possible
okay so this is really really important
to understand so if we think a little
bit about you know if you're confident
in yourself and and you believe that you
bring value to the world it's easier to
get motivated to like find a job or
change your job or things like that
because our our brain sort of has this
like
there's this part of our brain that
essentially determines the chances of
success before we engage in a behavior
so this is why i don't know about y'all
but i haven't tried out for the olympic
swimming team
even though i think it would be kind of
cool
i don't know if you all have tried out
for the olympic swimming team but
probably the reason that you don't feel
very motivated to try out for the
olympic swimming team is because you
don't your brain is like sort of like
don't bother it's not worth your time
so one of the key things to understand
about motivation is we can't be
motivated towards things unless
we have a sense that we can accomplish
them and so the first thing that you
really need to do is like
reframe this
so what does it mean to go forward in
your life like what does that even mean
how do you know so if you wake up today
and your brain is like you're like okay
like i need to go move forward in my
life and then your frontal lobes are
like what am i supposed to do with that
like what is that what does that mean
like how do i know if i move forward in
my life is it doing five push-ups today
is it
cleaning out my closet is it taking out
the trash is it applying for a job is it
make updating my my dating profiles
online like what does going forward in
life even mean
and so what tends to happen is that a
lot of times we have a sense
that we're stuck
right we feel like we're behind we feel
like we're not moving anywhere but
that's an emotion or it's a it's like a
global sort of like problem that we sort
of feel and so if like if i'm stuck how
do i get unstuck well that's kind of
weird because your brain doesn't know
how to operationalize and break apart a
feel like the
feeling right
if that sort of makes sense so if i have
the emotion that i'm stuck in life and i
sort of feel globally stuck and that
could be based on you know what i see on
social media and like comparing myself
to other people and all other kinds of
like ahamkar ego related things then my
then i sort of think naturally the
antidote is to get unstuck but unstock
is such a vague thing that like you
can't really your brain doesn't know how
to execute on the task
it's sort of like you know if you were
to tell your brain
you know
make sure you plan for the alien
invasion
and it's sort of like
what how do you even do that right like
what does that entail what are the
outcomes what when is the invasion
well we don't know
how do you prepare for it i don't know
and so like that that's where your brain
can't really capitalize it so a lot of
people who are struck stuck with a lack
of motivation one of the key things that
you need to do is just
first define what going forward in life
is
right so what does that actually mean
like what are the tasks that you need to
accomplish to quote unquote move forward
because a lot of the reason that we stay
stuck in life is because we set
ourselves up with a goal that's
impossible to achieve like literally
think about this for a second
going forward in my life
what is the verb what is the action that
i have to take to go forward in my life
is it taking a step
is it walking a mile is it moving in
this direction or that direction is it
increasing the amount of my in my bank
account is it stalking my fridge like
it's not a thing you can't go forward in
life
like that's impossible so a lot of the
reason that we lack motivation is
because we set up goals for ourselves we
set up you know
directions for ourselves which are
impossible to attain and then our brain
has trouble figuring out how i'm
supposed to do that
right because you're like okay like i
don't and then what we that what we
interpret that as is lack of motivation
so our brain is motivated to let's say
go to the bathroom when we you know when
our bladder is full and why is it
motivated to do that it knows that it
can accomplish it right it knows where
you start it knows where you end it
knows how to actually do it because the
first thing that we've got to do if
you're lacking motivation is
define what going forward in my life
actually is the second thing that you
can do is understand why you need to go
forward in life and i know that's kind
of a weird question but
where do you get the idea that you need
to move forward and i'm not saying that
your life is necessarily perfect and so
you may say well duh
like clearly i need to move forward in
life but in what ways
right like what makes you think you even
need to move forward well i'm living at
home with my parents okay so like
so what well
that's not good
okay so what's not good about it well
i don't know like i'm not gonna be able
to find a romantic partner if i'm living
at home okay so it sounds like romantic
partners are interesting to you
let's like think about that so you have
to figure out where
where it is that you feel stuck from
because what you'll sort of discover is
when you sort of notice why why you're
stuck that's the process with which you
break apart what going forward looks
like okay so like i'm interested in
romantic partners i'm interested in
financial independence
i'm interested in everything getting in
shape okay then let's like let's try to
prioritize those things okay what do you
want to start with today what can you
accomplish today well i can like you
know i can update my resume okay
fantastic
so by exploring why you feel stuck
you will naturally sort of start to
figure out what are the dimensions of
your life that you need to change and
then what you do is you tunnel down and
you focus on just one because the third
thing which is really important is
there's a pitfall here which is as you
dig into why you feel stuck
your brain is going to logically give
you lots of answers so if i ask anyone
why do you feel stuck
their brain will produce lots of answers
but that's an intellectual answer that
is born from a feeling and i don't know
if this is getting a little bit too
complicated but oftentimes if i feel a
particular way my mind will be able to
justify it however i want to so if you
talk to someone who feels like they're
going to be doomed to be alone forever
they'll come up with a thousand
justifications but interestingly enough
if you actually do like psychotherapy
with these people or work with these
people what you'll discover is that the
feeling of alone came first there's
usually some kind of traumatic event
where they like you know they they had a
birthday party when they were eight
years old and they prepped everything
for it and then like no one showed up
and that's where the feeling of being
alone was born from and once that
feeling is born then your mind creates a
cognitive bias you start to justify it
right you start to look at all of these
reasons why you believe this thing but
the truth is that that justification
comes after the fact
so a simple way to understand this is if
you have if you're politically oriented
in one particular way it's going to be
very easy for you to see the mental
gymnastics of people who are oriented
the opposite way right we all go through
these mental gymnastics and how does
that work why does our mind do that
that's because the feeling actually
comes first the emotion comes first the
emotion isn't born of logic right
but anytime you ask yourself why do i
feel this way the mind will generate a
thousand different answers but those
answers come from the emotion they don't
result in the emotion
so you have to be super careful when you
ask yourself why am i stuck
if your mind comes up with a laundry
list of different things some of those
can be useful for operationalizing
but don't fall into the trap of just
because
i'm operationalizing
doesn't mean that the feeling is
actually justified or because of all of
these things chances are if if you feel
stuck that feeling has an emotional root
and some kind of like experience so if
you're lacking motivation
first thing to do is recognize that
going forward in my life is not an
action you can take like literally you
cannot go forward in your life like
that's like physically impossible it's
not something you can do so you have to
better define what your goals are
because then your brain your frontal
lobes can be like okay like now i
understand okay put my book books on the
bookshelf that's something that my brain
can actually like understand and develop
some degree of motivation towards the
second thing to do is dig into the roots
of why you feel stuck or why you feel
like you need to go forward in your life
and once you dig into the roots of that
and sort of emotionally process that
understand that some you'll recognize
that that emotion is holding back your
motivation and if you can get to the
bottom of that emotion your motivation
will naturally start to flourish
the third thing to keep in mind is
there's a particular pitfall here which
is as you go down that path
be super careful for all of the
justifications that your mind uses
like oh i'm stuck because a b c and d
whereas chances are those things are not
the cause of you being stuck those
things are the result of you feeling
stuck plus the cognitive bias or
cognitive filter that you apply from
being stuck
so hopefully that makes sense and if you
go through that process hopefully you
can start to develop some kind of
motivation and then
as you start to develop some kind of
motivation lean into habit
thoughts on the general impact
okay
questions
literally picking a needle from a
haystack where the problem
found supposed to locate it yeah so
that's what it can feel like that's
exactly so it's a great point so uh
remix gen is saying a remix jen is
saying it's like trying to find a needle
in a haystack in terms of the source of
my my
you know why i feel stuck and that's
exactly what it feels like because your
mind will generate a thousand reasons
for feeling a particular way but even if
you think about it we don't feel a
particular way because of a thousand
things right and just think about your
life for a second if you feel a
particular way chances are it's not like
an amalgamation of a thousand
experiences chances are it's one
experience
or a couple of experiences that you
repeat over and over and over again and
so that's exactly right that's why what
you've got to do is like kind of go to
the source of the emotion right so
there's a interesting tip there which is
ask yourself how long you've been
feeling this way
and
when was the last time you didn't feel
this way and then what you want to look
for is a change
so what changed so like if i started i
felt pretty good back when i was 16 or
17 and now i'm 22. what changed between
like 16 17 and 18 or what changed
between 16 and 17 and 18 and 19.
and so that's how you could sort of find
where that process is this we go into
this in a bunch of detail in dr k's
guide if you look at the vedic
psychology portion because this is like
a skill that you can learn
um in terms of finding the root of your
kind of like cognitive biases
okay
um so
we've got
vitaboy who's saying if my issue is when
i create goals i feel like they aren't
genuine like writing on paper what i
want to accomplish really hard to
believe myself 100
right so that's because your goals are
being created from your intellect as
opposed to
like they're like things that you should
do
right so this is a challenge where if we
look at like what's the problem with
like how we generate goals
so when i generate goals like let's just
think for a second about where do those
goals come from
i sit down for a second like i grab a
piece of paper and i start listing all
the things i should do
well just think about this for a second
how important is a should
for
generating motivation how motivated are
you to do the things that you should do
by nature the fact that it's something
you should do you're not intrinsically
motivated at all so if you want to
generate goals what i'd recommend is
instead of asking writing down all the
stuff you should be doing
instead ask yourself what do you care
about what do you actually value in this
life not what you should do what do you
care to do and this is where you've got
to be kind of careful because you may
fall into a pitfall well what i care to
do is play video games all day i don't
think so i don't think you wake up today
and you you say to yourself
well for the next five years i'd love
nothing more than to sit in my room and
play video games for 16 hours a day like
i don't think that you actually care
about that i think that's what we do as
a default when we're looking at a list
of all the stuff we should be doing it
feels overwhelming and we don't know
what to do so we might as well play a
video game
that's how you end up playing video
games for 16 hours a day for five years
it's not because you wake up and you're
like man i really love this or if you do
you usually end up as a pro pro gamer
like you know an esports athlete like
that happens and usually that's where
those people end up so i'd be i'd start
by really digging into like what you
care about
and this is where like so part of what
we try to help our uh what we teach our
coaches is if you're trying to work with
someone who who struggles with
motivation what you need to do is move
from the should to the care
like what do you care about what do you
value because that's what creates
motivation
so someone's asking how do i keep
constantly motivated so this is
important to understand about motivation
you don't want to keep constantly
motivated you have to understand that
motivation is going to fluctuate
i don't know that you can say constantly
motivated but what you can do is create
a life in which two things happen
one is that you capitalize on motivation
in a way that is not lost
when it happens so you kind of strike
while the iron is hot okay
so that's where like you acknowledge
that motivation isn't going to be there
all the time you're a human human beings
fluctuate right they're not robots
they're not machines
so the question is when you are
motivated how do you capitalize on it in
a way that you don't lose it so that's
where
you know for example like if i'm writing
a book that's somewhat easy because i
can you know keep it and every time i
feel inspired i sit down to write there
are other things that are a little bit
harder like i feel motivated to study
today i don't feel motivated to study
tomorrow
so like if you don't feel motivated
often enough if you're studying like
that can be a real problem which is why
we come to number two
so if if motivation if we acknowledge
for a moment that motivation is
fluctuant
then the question becomes what dictates
how motivated you are
and this is where people lose out i
think a lot on understanding motivation
is that motivation is triggered by all
kinds of different things and the more
that you shape your life
to have
pro-motivational external sources
the better off you'll be
so this is where like i don't feel like
studying today but if i get together
with five of my friends monday wednesday
and thursday in the library
for three hours and i have a standing
appointment even if i don't feel like
studying i will do some work
so this is where i think a lot of people
who are struggling with motivation
you've got to do two things one is
capitalize when the motivation is there
and second is figure out like how to
blow
um you know
increase the oxygen and the embers to
rekindle that flame
so that's really what i would recommend
so just capitalize on it in a way that's
kind of like sustainable not sustainable
but preservable is a better term
so a lot of times we'll get motivated
but the amount of work that we'll do
is not conducive to being picked up
later
so we'll like do something half finished
whereas like you know if you can
complete a segment and then have the
next part ready for yourself it can
really help so you can't stay constantly
motivated you don't need to just
capitalize on it when it's there and
then figure out how to stoke it is the
word i was looking for i think
right how to evoke it and then set up
those kinds of exposures for yourself
and then your motivation will go a lot
longer you'll get a lot more done
you
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