Cada uno tiene su propio reloj para encontrar su lugar en el mundo | Daniel Bonifaz | TEDxLima

TEDx Talks

14 Feb 202415:22

Summary

TLDRIn this emotional narrative, Daniel Bonifaz recounts his transformative journey of self-discovery and finding purpose. At 24, disillusioned after leaving the seminary, he grappled with existential questions and a sense of lost time. Inspired by Viktor Frankl's teachings, Daniel embarked on a three-step path: self-knowledge, responsibility, and generosity. Through small actions, reading, and nurturing relationships, he gradually uncovered his vocation – sharing knowledge to simplify complexities. His story encourages embracing personal growth timelines and recognizing life's challenges as opportunities for self-realization.

Takeaways

😇 Don't be overly harsh on yourself for past decisions or perceived wasted time; have self-compassion and embrace your journey.
🔍 Self-knowledge through genuine curiosity about oneself and openness to feedback from others is essential for personal growth.
🎯 Take responsibility for your actions, as they reflect and shape your identity - make choices aligned with who you want to be.
🥇 Small, consistent actions can lead to big changes; focus on building helpful habits rather than relying solely on motivation.
👐 Generosity and contributing to others is paradoxically the path to finding your true purpose and fulfillment.
⏱️ Respect your own timeline; comparisons to others' paces are unhelpful - your journey unfolds at its own rhythm.
🧭 Difficult experiences that feel like knots can eventually untangle and reveal their purpose when you embrace self-knowledge, responsibility, and generosity.
🙏 Reframe perceived setbacks with gratitude, as they have shaped you into who you are today.
💡 Read books like 'Man's Search for Meaning' to gain perspective on maintaining inner freedom amid external challenges.
🌳 Be patient and trust that living by these principles will ultimately lead you to discover your unique path and vocation.

Q & A

What was Daniel's experience when he left the seminary at the age of 24?
-Daniel went through a crisis when he left the seminary at 24. He felt lost, unsure of what he wanted in life and his place in the world after spending 6 years studying to be a priest. He had to start university from scratch while his peers were more advanced in their careers.
What was the moment that made Daniel break down in tears?
-Daniel recalls coming home one night at 11 pm after working as a replacement driver for a security company. He felt stuck, not making any progress, and unsure of his purpose in life after spending 6 years studying to be a priest. This existential crisis made him break down in tears outside his home, questioning why God made him waste 6 years of his life.
What book helped Daniel during this difficult time?
-The book that illuminated Daniel a lot during this period was "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. Frankl, a Jewish psychiatrist, survived the Nazi concentration camps and wrote about the "last freedom" - the inner freedom that no one can take away from you, which maintains your identity intact.
What three steps did Daniel outline to find one's place in the world?
-The three steps Daniel outlined were: 1) Know yourself, 2) Take responsibility, and 3) Generosity.
What does Daniel mean by "knowing yourself"?
-Knowing yourself, according to Daniel, is not just introspection but a genuine curiosity to understand oneself better. He mentions the Johari Window model, which suggests there are things you see about yourself, things others see that you don't, and things neither you nor others see.
How does Daniel define "responsibility"?
-Daniel defines responsibility as having two components: responding (to your true identity) and ability (to take small actions). He emphasizes that motivation follows action, not the other way around, and that small actions can lead to bigger changes.
What is the significance of "generosity" in Daniel's three steps?
-Generosity, according to Daniel, stems from the Latin word "genus," meaning genes, nature, family, or race. He believes that everyone is inherently noble and magnanimous, seeking the well-being of others without expecting anything in return. Only by giving to others can one find their true vocation.
What small actions did Daniel take during his crisis?
-The small actions Daniel took were: 1) Pursuing the girl he had a crush on since childhood (who became his wife), 2) Cultivating the habit of reading 10 pages a day, and 3) Setting a non-negotiable daily task for himself.
What is Daniel's perspective on finding one's vocation and timing?
-Daniel believes that everyone has their own clock for finding their place in the world, and it doesn't matter when you start a family, pursue entrepreneurship, or finish your education. What matters is living by the three ingredients (knowing yourself, responsibility, and generosity) with patience to discover your vocation at your own pace.
How does Daniel feel about the 6 years he spent studying to be a priest now?
-Initially, Daniel questioned God about wasting 6 years of his life studying to be a priest. However, now he is grateful for those 6 years because the decisions he made during that time shaped him into the person he is today.

Outlines

00:00

🧑‍💼 Personal Crisis and Self-discovery Journey

Daniel Bonifaz recounts his personal crisis at the age of 24, after leaving the seminary. He felt lost, stagnant, and questioned his purpose in life. Despite feeling ashamed and overwhelmed, he experienced a breakdown where he cried and questioned God. Through Viktor Frankl's book 'Man's Search for Meaning,' he learned about the freedom of choice and how one can always decide how to react to life's circumstances. This realization marked the beginning of his self-discovery journey.

05:02

🔑 Three Steps to Finding One's Calling

Daniel outlines three key steps to finding one's calling and place in the world: 1) Self-knowledge: Understanding oneself through genuine curiosity and seeking feedback from others; 2) Responsibility: Responding to one's true identity through actions that shape it, valuing ability over motivation, and appreciating small steps; 3) Generosity: Giving to others without expectation, as finding one's vocation comes through service and helping others understand complex concepts in a simple way.

10:05

⌚ Personal Timing and Gratitude

Daniel emphasizes that each person has their own pace and timing in finding their calling. Societal judgments about when certain milestones should be achieved are irrelevant. He encourages patience and living by the three steps he outlined. What may seem like knots or obstacles today will eventually untangle and make sense, connecting the dots of one's life experiences. Daniel expresses gratitude for the decisions that shaped him, rather than lamenting the time he felt was lost.

15:10

👏 Closing Remarks and Applause

The paragraph simply states 'Applause, thank you' in Spanish, likely indicating the end of Daniel's speech or presentation, which was met with applause from the audience.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Identity

Identity refers to a person's sense of self, values, beliefs, and characteristics that define who they are. In the video, the speaker discusses the importance of understanding one's identity and how our actions shape it. For example, he mentions, 'Every action we take is a vote for who we want to be,' highlighting how our choices and behaviors mold our identity.

💡Vocation

Vocation refers to one's calling, purpose, or direction in life. The speaker emphasizes the importance of finding one's vocation, stating, 'How do I find my vocation? How do I find my place in the world based on my personal experiences?' He suggests steps like self-knowledge, responsibility, and generosity as ways to uncover one's true vocation.

💡Self-knowledge

Self-knowledge is the process of understanding oneself deeply, including one's strengths, weaknesses, interests, and motivations. The speaker highlights the importance of self-knowledge, saying, 'The first step is to know yourself.' He discusses the Johari Window model as a tool for gaining self-awareness through feedback from others.

💡Responsibility

Responsibility refers to being accountable for one's actions and decisions. The speaker explains it as 'responding' to one's identity and having the 'ability' to take action. He emphasizes the importance of small actions and developing habits, stating, 'The second step is responsibility, value small actions.'

💡Generosity

Generosity is the quality of being kind, unselfish, and giving to others. The speaker discusses the etymological meaning of generosity, connecting it to nobility and the desire to do good for others without expecting anything in return. He suggests that generosity is crucial for finding one's vocation, stating, 'You will only find your vocation if you give to others.'

💡Freedom

Freedom refers to the ability to make choices and act without constraint. The speaker cites Victor Frankl's concept of 'the last freedom,' the inner freedom that cannot be taken away, even in extreme circumstances. He connects this idea to the ability to respond to life's challenges through personal decisions and choices.

💡Motivation

Motivation is the drive or desire to take action and achieve goals. The speaker challenges the notion of relying solely on motivation, stating, 'Motivation is overrated. Motivation is the result of action and creates new energy for action.' He emphasizes the importance of developing the ability (skills and habits) to take action, rather than waiting for motivation.

💡Purpose

Purpose refers to the meaning, significance, or reason for existence. The speaker discusses the struggle of finding one's purpose, describing his experience of feeling 'lost in life' and questioning 'What is my place in the world?' after leaving the seminary. He presents the steps he took to eventually discover his purpose.

💡Resilience

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, challenges, or setbacks. The speaker shares his personal experience of going through a crisis at age 24, feeling 'stuck' and questioning his life path. He emphasizes the importance of perseverance and making small steps to overcome such challenges and find one's way.

💡Growth

Growth refers to the process of developing, progressing, and evolving as an individual. The speaker's journey highlights the idea of personal growth, as he overcame his crisis, pursued self-discovery, and eventually found his path. He emphasizes that growth is an ongoing process, stating, 'The human being is infinite, we never stop knowing ourselves.'

Highlights

He shared his personal experience of feeling lost and questioning his path in life after leaving the seminary at the age of 24.

He emphasizes the importance of self-knowledge, quoting Socrates' famous phrase, 'Know thyself.'

He introduces the Johari Window, a psychological concept that illustrates the importance of seeking feedback from others to understand ourselves better.

He highlights the concept of responsibility and its connection to identity and actions, drawing from James Clear's book 'Atomic Habits.'

He emphasizes the importance of taking small actions, even when lacking motivation, as a way to build habits and progress.

He shares personal examples of small actions he took during his crisis, such as reaching out to his now-wife, reading, and setting a daily non-negotiable task.

He introduces the third ingredient for finding one's place in the world: generosity, and its etymological connection to nobility and well-being.

He emphasizes the paradox of finding oneself through giving to others and the importance of teaching and sharing knowledge as a way to discover one's vocation.

He reminds the audience that each person has their own timeline and pace for finding their place in the world, and not to be influenced by external judgments or expectations.

He expresses gratitude for the years he initially perceived as lost, recognizing that those experiences shaped who he is today.

He encourages the audience to embrace self-knowledge, responsibility, and generosity, as these elements will help them find their purpose and connect the dots of their life experiences.

He shared his personal journey of overcoming a crisis and finding his purpose, emphasizing the importance of self-discovery, taking responsibility, and being generous.

He referenced the psychological concept of the Johari Window to highlight the importance of seeking feedback from others to better understand ourselves.

He drew inspiration from Viktor Frankl's book 'Man's Search for Meaning' and the concept of maintaining an inner freedom and the ability to choose one's attitude, even in the most challenging circumstances.

He encouraged the audience to embrace their uniqueness and individuality, acknowledging that each person has their own timeline and path to finding their purpose.