In search for the man who broke my neck | Joshua Prager

Summary

In this poignant narrative, the speaker recounts his journey to find Abed, the man responsible for a life-altering accident in Jerusalem 21 years prior. Despite the physical and emotional scars left by the crash, the speaker seeks not retribution but closure and an apology. His quest leads him through a profound exploration of identity, fate, and the human capacity for resilience. Upon meeting Abed, the speaker grapples with the complexity of forgiveness and the power of personal response to life's challenges.

Takeaways

• 🚗 The narrator embarked on a journey to find Abed, the man responsible for a life-altering accident in Jerusalem 21 years prior.
• 📜 The narrator had no exact address or phone number but was driven by the need to confront and find closure with Abed.
• 🏙️ The accident occurred when the narrator was 19, resulting in a severe injury that left him a quadriplegic, changing his life dramatically.
• 💪 Despite the physical challenges, the narrator learned to breathe, sit, stand, and walk again, embodying resilience and determination.
• 📚 The narrator's life took a different path, using a wheelchair through college and later becoming a journalist and author, reflecting on life's sudden changes.
• 🔍 Upon returning to Jerusalem, the narrator sought to meet Abed, driven by the desire to hear an apology for the accident.
• 🎁 The narrator prepared a gift for Abed, symbolizing the intention of a peaceful encounter and the complexity of emotions tied to the meeting.
• 🤔 The script raises philosophical questions about identity, the impact of experiences on who we are, and the interplay between nature (genes) and nurture (experiences).
• 🕊️ The narrator's encounter with Abed revealed a man who did not take responsibility for the accident, illustrating the human tendency to rationalize and absolve oneself of guilt.
• 📖 The narrator's reflections on life, suffering, and the human condition were inspired by Viktor Frankl and Herman Melville, emphasizing the importance of attitude and perspective in the face of adversity.
• 🌟 The takeaway is that while we cannot control what happens to us, we can control how we respond, and it's this response that defines us.

Q & A

What was the main purpose of the narrator's journey to find Abed?

The main purpose of the narrator's journey was to confront Abed, the man who had caused a life-altering accident, and to seek an apology as a form of closure and peace.

How did the accident impact the narrator's physical condition?

The accident left the narrator as a quadriplegic initially, and later a hemiplegic, requiring the use of a wheelchair for four years and causing lifelong physical challenges.

What was the emotional response of the narrator when he first read Abed's testimony?

The narrator experienced anger for the first time towards Abed, stemming from a sense of injustice and the realization that the accident could have been avoided.

How did the narrator's life change after the accident?

The narrator's life changed dramatically; he became a journalist and an author, and despite his physical limitations, he continued to travel and participate in activities like softball.

What was the narrator's profession after college?

The narrator became a journalist and an author, typing with one finger due to his physical condition.

What did the narrator bring as a gift for Abed when they finally met?

The narrator brought a brick of Turkish delight as a gift for Abed when they met.

What was the narrator's reflection on the concept of identity and the impact of experiences on it?

The narrator reflected on the intertwining of identity with experiences, questioning whether we are defined by our genes, our experiences, or how we respond to them.

How did Abed perceive the accident when he spoke to the narrator?

Abed perceived the accident as a punishment from God for his previous wrongdoings and believed that he was now living a religious life that pleased God.

What was the narrator's realization about Abed's ability to apologize?

The narrator realized that Abed would likely never apologize, as he had constructed a narrative in which he saw himself as a victim rather than a perpetrator.

What was the narrator's final message to Abed about the accident?

The narrator corrected Abed's misconception about the number of people who died in the accident, telling him that only one man had died, not two, and then said goodbye.