The Perks of Living Without Social Media | Cal Newport

Summary

In this thought-provoking video, Cal Newport, an author known for abstaining from social media, highlights four compelling benefits of avoiding these platforms. He argues that being boredom-free robs us of valuable solitude for self-reflection and higher-quality leisure pursuits. Social media breeds anxiety by constructing a distorted, combative world view. It compromises privacy by encouraging oversharing personal details to an amorphous audience. Finally, it inflates our sense of self-importance through artificial metrics, deviating from genuine importance derived from real-world relationships and accomplishments. Newport's insightful perspective invites viewers to reevaluate their social media usage and consider the potential rewards of stepping away.

Takeaways

• 🚫 The speaker, Cal Newport, has never had any social media accounts, which he believes gives him a clear perspective on the impact of these tools on culture and people's lives.
• 😴 Not using social media allows for more boredom, which can lead to productive leisure activities, self-reflection, and personal growth.
• 😨 Social media can create a perception of a world filled with conflict, outrage, and anxiety, which is not conducive to thriving.
• 🔒 Being constantly active on social media can reveal too much personal information and compromise privacy.
• 🧘‍♂️ Social media can inflate one's sense of self-importance through metrics like likes and shares, which can lead to unhealthy behaviors and mindsets.
• 💆‍♀️ Stepping away from social media can lower anxiety levels and provide a more realistic and grounded view of the world.
• 🧠 Boredom can be a positive force, pushing people to engage in more productive and meaningful activities.
• 👥 Social media can create an illusion of influence and importance that is not based on real-world relationships and achievements.
• 🔐 Privacy is better preserved when personal information and reactions are not constantly shared on social media platforms.
• 🌱 Seeking a sense of importance through tangible actions and relationships in the real world is ultimately more fulfilling and sustainable.

Q & A

What is Cal Newport's stance on social media?

Cal Newport has never had any social media accounts (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, etc.) because as someone who writes about technology's impact on culture, this allows him to observe the effects of these tools on our lives with clarity and distance.

What is the first perk of not using social media according to Cal Newport?

The first perk is experiencing more boredom. Without the constant distraction of social media apps, one is left to be alone with their thoughts during moments of boredom. This promotes solitude and self-reflection, which are crucial for personal growth and development.

How does boredom benefit leisure activities according to Cal Newport?

Cal Newport argues that boredom can push people towards higher quality leisure activities like reading, exercising, taking up new hobbies, or joining clubs/organizations, rather than defaulting to mindless scrolling on social media.

What is the second perk of not using social media?

The second perk is lower anxiety. Cal Newport suggests that social media platforms often present a distorted and negative view of the world, filled with conflict, outrage, and carefully curated portrayals of others' lives, which can increase anxiety and unhappiness.

Why does Cal Newport value privacy as a perk of not using social media?

Cal Newport values privacy because being active on social media requires constantly generating content, which can inadvertently reveal more personal information than one might want to share with a large, amorphous audience of strangers.

What is the fourth perk of not using social media according to Cal Newport?

The fourth perk is a lower sense of self-importance. Cal Newport argues that social media metrics and engagement can create an inflated and unrealistic sense of one's influence and importance, which is better calibrated by real-world interactions and tangible accomplishments.

How does Cal Newport suggest testing the illusion of influence created by social media?

Cal Newport suggests taking a 30-day break from social media without telling anyone, and seeing if anyone notices or cares about the absence of posts/updates. This exercise can reveal the disparity between the perceived influence and the actual impact.

What advice does Cal Newport give to those considering stepping away from social media?

Cal Newport advises those who are unhappy with the influence of social media on their lives to consider stepping away, as the benefits of leaving might be much bigger than they initially expect.

How does Cal Newport's stance on social media influence his work as an author?

Cal Newport's decision to avoid social media allows him to have a controlled and curated public presence through his writing, videos, and interviews, without revealing too much personal information or being overwhelmed by the constant need to generate content and react to everything.

What is Cal Newport's overall message regarding the perks of not using social media?

Cal Newport's overall message is that stepping away from social media or significantly reducing one's footprint on these platforms can lead to several benefits, including increased solitude, lower anxiety, better privacy, and a more grounded sense of self-importance, ultimately promoting a deeper and more sustainable life.

Outlines

00:00

🚫 The Advantages of Not Using Social Media

This paragraph discusses the benefits of not having social media accounts, particularly for someone who writes about technology and its cultural impact. The author, Cal Newport, explains how avoiding social media gives him a clear perspective on observing the effects of these tools on people's lives without being overwhelmed by them himself. He introduces the topic of exploring the perks that everyone can enjoy by not using social media.

05:02

😐 Increased Boredom and Its Benefits

The paragraph highlights how not using addictive social media apps can lead to more boredom, which is beneficial. Without the constant distraction of scrolling through social media, individuals are left with moments of solitude to reflect on their thoughts, experiences, and identity. This solitude is crucial for personal growth and self-understanding. Additionally, boredom can encourage people to engage in more productive leisure activities, such as reading, exercising, or pursuing hobbies, rather than defaulting to the quick fix of social media.

10:03

😨 Reduced Anxiety and a Calmer World View

This paragraph discusses how social media platforms often present a distorted and anxiety-inducing view of the world. Platforms like Twitter can create an image of constant conflict and outrage, while Instagram portrays curated and idealized versions of people's lives, leading to feelings of inferiority. By avoiding social media, individuals can experience a more grounded and calmer worldview based on their immediate surroundings and real-life interactions, reducing anxiety and promoting a more sustainable and balanced perspective.

🔒 Increased Privacy and Control Over Self-Disclosure

The paragraph highlights the benefits of increased privacy when not using social media. Being active on these platforms often requires constant content generation, which can lead to unintentionally revealing more personal information than desired. The author emphasizes the value of maintaining privacy and control over how much of oneself is disclosed to the public. Social media creates an unnatural dynamic of having an amorphous audience privy to personal details, which can be unsettling and goes against the tight-knit communities humans are wired for.

🪞 A Balanced Sense of Self-Importance

The final paragraph discusses how social media can inflate one's sense of self-importance through metrics like likes, shares, and retweets, creating an illusion of influence and a vast audience eagerly awaiting one's thoughts. However, this inflated sense of importance is often a manipulation by the platforms and can lead individuals down unhealthy paths. By avoiding social media, people can develop a more grounded and balanced sense of self-importance based on tangible accomplishments and real-world relationships, which is ultimately better for personal growth and community connections.

Keywords

💡Social Media

Social media refers to websites and applications that allow users to create, share, and interact with content. In the video, Cal Newport discusses his decision to avoid social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat. He argues that abstaining from social media provides several perks, including increased boredom (which can lead to more productive activities), lower anxiety (since social media can present a distorted view of the world), more privacy (by not oversharing personal details), and a lower sense of self-importance (by not seeking validation through likes and shares).

💡Boredom

Boredom refers to the state of feeling disinterested or unstimulated. Newport suggests that without the constant distraction of social media, people are more likely to experience boredom. However, he views boredom as a positive force that can motivate individuals to engage in more meaningful leisure activities, such as reading, exercising, or pursuing hobbies. By allowing themselves to feel bored, people are pushed to find more productive ways to spend their time.

💡Solitude

Solitude refers to the state of being alone, away from others. Newport argues that solitude is crucial for personal development and self-reflection. When individuals are alone with their thoughts, without the distractions of social media, they can process their experiences, evaluate their goals and concerns, and develop a deeper understanding of themselves. Solitude is presented as a necessary condition for personal growth and identity formation.

💡Anxiety

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease. According to Newport, frequent use of social media can increase anxiety levels. This is because social media platforms often present a distorted and negative view of the world, filled with conflict, outrage, and curated portrayals of others' lives. Constantly exposing oneself to this environment can lead to a heightened sense of anxiety and a skewed perception of reality.

💡Privacy

Privacy refers to the ability to control the amount of personal information that is shared with others. Newport argues that active participation on social media requires constant content generation, which can lead to revealing more personal details than intended. He suggests that human beings are not wired to share intimate aspects of their lives with large, amorphous audiences. Avoiding social media can help maintain a greater level of privacy and control over one's personal information.

💡Self-importance

Self-importance refers to an inflated sense of one's own significance or importance. Newport warns that social media can foster an unhealthy sense of self-importance by providing metrics like likes, shares, and retweets that give the illusion of a vast audience caring about one's thoughts or opinions. This can lead individuals to develop entrenched beliefs, conspiratorial thinking, and a sense of being at the center of significant events. Stepping away from social media can help maintain a more grounded and realistic perspective on one's true importance.

💡Curated

In the context of social media, 'curated' refers to the careful selection and presentation of content to create a specific impression or image. Newport notes that platforms like Instagram often feature highly curated portrayals of people's lives, where only the most positive and attractive aspects are shown. This can lead to feelings of inferiority or inadequacy in those consuming such curated content, as their own lives may seem less interesting or successful by comparison.

💡Algorithms

Algorithms refer to the computational processes and decision-making rules used by social media platforms to determine what content is shown to users. Newport suggests that these algorithms are designed to optimize for engagement and attention, often presenting users with content that is highly curated, manipulative, or even conspiratorial. By avoiding social media, individuals can escape the influence of these algorithms and the distorted worldview they can create.

💡Community

Community refers to a group of people with shared interests, values, or connections. Newport argues that human beings are wired for tight-knit, close communities where trust and mutual support are key. Social media, however, exposes individuals to large, amorphous crowds of strangers, which can be unsettling and unnatural. He suggests that true importance and respect should come from real-world communities and relationships, rather than from the virtual connections offered by social media.

💡Metrics

Metrics refer to the quantitative measurements or data points used to track and evaluate performance or engagement on social media platforms. Examples of metrics include likes, shares, retweets, and follower counts. Newport cautions against allowing these metrics to dictate one's sense of self-importance or influence, as they can create an inflated and distorted perception of one's significance. He advocates for seeking validation and importance from tangible, real-world achievements and relationships instead.

Highlights

Cal Newport has never had a social media account, which gives him distance and clarity to observe the impact of these tools on our lives without being overwhelmed by them.

Not using social media allows for more boredom, which can lead to productive solitude, self-reflection, and higher-quality leisure activities.

The world constructed in your mind from social media exposure is often filled with strife, outrage, and anxiety, leading to an unsettling and unsustainable environment.

Being active on social media can lead to revealing too much about yourself to an amorphous crowd of strangers, which is unnatural and unsettling.

Social media creates an inflated sense of self-importance through metrics like likes and shares, which can push people to entrench in weird ideas or conspiratorial thinking.

A real sense of importance should come from doing tangible things on behalf of real people, which is more sustainable and deeper than the illusion of influence created by social media.

The four perks of not using social media are: 1) more boredom leading to productive activities, 2) lower anxiety, 3) more privacy, and 4) a lower sense of self-importance.

Social media platforms are designed to be highly addictive and compelling, engineered by some of the smartest people in the world to capture your attention.

On platforms like Instagram, users are exposed to highly curated portrayals of people's lives, which can lead to feelings of inferiority.

The constant need to generate content on social media reveals more about yourself than you may want to share.

Social media creates an unnatural environment where an amorphous crowd of strangers knows intimate details about your life, which humans are not wired for.

The metrics on social media, like likes and retweets, create an illusion of influence and importance that may not reflect reality.

Stepping away from social media for 30 days without telling anyone can reveal the lack of a vast audience waiting for your updates, contrary to the illusion created by the platforms.

A real sense of importance should come from being present for and sacrificing for your family and community, not from manipulated metrics on social media.

If you're unhappy with the influence of social media on your life, stepping away and experiencing the benefits of leaving can be worthwhile.

Transcripts

hi i'm cal newport of the things i am

known for perhaps the most prominent is

the fact that i have never had

a social media account

no facebook no twitter no instagram no

tick tock no snapchat

now as someone who

writes about technology and impact for

culture this has been a really big

advantage for me it gives me distance

from the culture i'm writing about i can

observe with some clarity the impact of

these tools

on our lives without actually having to

be completely overwhelmed by these tools

myself i have become convinced over the

years however that there are perks

to not using social media that are

applicable to everyone

not just to people like me who write

about technology for a living so that's

what i want to talk about in this video

four

perks

to not using social media

number one

more

boredom

now this might be surprising at first

but follow with me here one of the

things that happens when you have these

highly

addictive

applications on your phone is that your

phone becomes a default mode of

distraction at the slightest hint of

boredom you whip this thing out and

start scrolling through those social

media apps i can't blame you for doing

that they have been engineered by some

of the smartest people in the world to

be incredibly compelling so why sit

there in line and just be bored when you

can have tens of billions of dollars

worth of attention engineering

at your service to give you that perfect

moment of distraction

there is however a cost to having this

perfect always accessible distraction

there in your pocket that means there is

no more boredom in your life

the slightest hint of boredom you're

looking at that phone

this can be

a problem

so what happens when you're alone with

your own thoughts because you don't use

social media so there is nothing on that

phone that's all that interesting to

look at it's a situation i find myself

in all the time you're now left to just

think about the world around you what's

going on in your head that might sound

scary at first but it's actually

critical to your development as a human

it is when you are alone with your own

thoughts

in the state that is known as solitude

that you can actually take those

experiences you're having in your life

and fit them into a framework a common

framework by which you understand your

experience it's where you can reflect on

yourself what's going well what's not

going well what's resonating with you

what you're worried about in your life

and make progress in your identity in

your self-definition it is in this time

alone with our mind that we evolve as

humans and if you rob yourself of that

solitude by always looking at that shiny

highly distracting treat sitting there

in your pocket represented by the apps

on that phone you miss out on that

solitude

the other advantage of the boredom

you'll encounter

not having these apps on your phone is

that it will push you to do higher

quality leisure activities

you're sitting there it's the afternoon

you don't have anything to look at you

don't have anything to watch this might

drive you to read

the exercise to pick up that new hobby

to go for the walk to go join some sort

of organization and club boredom is a

very useful instinct

typically when it comes to human nature

whenever there's a very strong or

disagreeable feeling that is pushing us

to do something that is important to us

we feel hunger it feels terrible why

because it's important that we eat so

what is boredom which feels very bad

pushing us to do productive activity

the phone interrupts that push the

productive activity it short-circuits

that instinct and gets it just looking

at that glowing piece of glass but

without the phone there you can actually

feel through that board of instinct to

go do things that are actually

productive stuff that's good for you for

your soul for your family for your

community your leisure will get better

when you can't default to the quick fix

of tapping on social media

so more productive boredom that is one

of the perks of not using social media

another one

lower

anxiety

your world is what you pay attention to

there's way more information out there

possible to consume than you can ever

possibly actually take in so your mind

looks at what you have consumes and

tries to construct

an understanding of the world around you

not just a physical or visual

understanding but also an emotional

understanding of the world as well

if you are living in the world of social

media especially on a

highly combative platform like twitter

the image of the world that your mind

will construct is one of

terrifying almost unbearable strife it

is a world in which villains ride freely

through the virtual town square and the

town's people fire at them with their

revolvers people dropping dead from this

metaphorical virtual saloon window it is

a scary world is it an upsetting world

is a world of outrage it is a world in

which people are castigated at a

moment's notice and criminals must be

rooted out it is not a happy world

have you ever met for example a frequent

twitter user who was happy

no why

because the world that exposes your mind

to is not a nice one so if you spend a

lot of time on social media

you're going to be living in a world of

your own construction that is not going

to be an environment to thrive now you

might say why don't i avoid twitter

i'll go i'm over on instagram i don't

want to see the political stuff i don't

want to see the fighting well what are

you going to get on instagram highly

curated portrayals of people's lives

everyone's happy everyone's in great

shape everyone is doing more interesting

things to you that's a world where you

feel inferior

the world's created again when you're

marinating yourself in these social

media worlds are not good ones

so you're gonna be more anxious you're

gonna be less happy

when you don't have social media on your

phone when you don't have it on your

computer when you do not expose yourself

to that weird unnatural highly curated

algorithmically optimized type of

information the world you see is

actually much more the world around you

your friends the people in town what

you're reading in books what you hear on

the radio what you saw on your walk home

it is a world that is calibrated to the

human mind it's the experience that we

actually

are expecting it's a calmer world it's a

less anxiety producing world it's a

slower world

and all of that is much better all that

is much more sustainable

that's the second perk

third perk

privacy

if you're on these platforms all the

time you have to be generating content

all the time this content is going to

reveal over time more than you probably

want to actually reveal

it is a very unsettling position to be

in as a human

to know that there is an amorphous large

crowd of people you mainly don't know

who know a lot about you and you don't

even know how much it is that they know

about you

it's very unsettling

if i was on social media as an author if

i had to be tweeting and doing instagram

and doing these type of things all the

time every day

post post post post post i would end up

revealing a lot more about myself than i

want people to know i'm actually a very

private person yes it sounds paradoxical

because i'm in the public eye a lot

you're watching me on a video you may

have seen me on tv you may have seen me

on other people's podcast or radio shows

but that is a very controlled

environment this is me sitting down and

maybe producing one video that i want

you to see

that i spent just today working on

that's much different than having to

throughout the day be what do i think

about this what do i think about that

giving takes on things reacting to

things having back and forth

conversations that reveals too much

happy to go on a radio show happy to

write an article and put it out there

happy to think through a video and have

notes on it and and record that fine but

if i have to go back and forth all day

get my reaction on everything i'm going

to reveal too much and i don't want to

give up that much of myself and you

shouldn't either it is not natural human

beings are wired to have relatively

tight-knit communities where people know

them well

through bounds of family

or other types of community connection

you trust each other they have your back

you have their back

they see your bad they see you're good

they see you at your best they see you

at your worst but everyone trusts each

other everyone's willing to sacrifice on

behalf of each other in these small

close-knit communities that is the

socialization we're wired for not

there's 10 000 amorphous people here

looking at my back and forth

conversations on twitter

trying to figure out when the pounds

so we do not need to be that open to

that many people it doesn't match our

wiring

it can make us pretty unsettled so you

don't use social media you don't have to

worry

about

that all right number four

the fourth perk of not using social

media

lower your sense of self

importance

this is one of the

insidious side effects of social media

is the degree to make sure it makes you

feel as if at all times there is this

vast audience that really cares what you

have to say and you get this because of

the little metrics you get the little

thumbs up you get the little hearts

there's little numbers on next to it

that begin to tabulate up this was

retweeted this was liked

this was shared

some of these platforms will even do

this in a

blatantly

manipulative manner tick tock is known

for example to take your videos

occasionally and show them to a much

larger audience than normal just so you

get that intermittently reinforcing

burst of a lot of people like this one

so that you're going to keep pulling

that slot machine lever again hopefully

you get that next burst before all of

this gives you a sense of

everyone cares what i have to say

it inflates your ego it leads you to

entrench

to glom on to weird ideas or

conspiratorial thinking to begin to

other the people who disagree with you

or in the other tribe

you feel like you are at the center of

some sort of apocalyptic life and death

battle all of this is the human

psyche being manipulated by these

services

is not good for us

to be given daily this sense this

inflated sense of self-importance you

know back when i wrote my book deep work

i had this advice

that i gave to people who were active on

social media i said step away for 30

days but here's the key caveat

don't tell anybody

step away from 30 days don't tell

anybody

and see if anyone notices

and a lot of people wrote back to me

after that book came out and said that

was

momentarily devastating because i

realized in my mind because i see all

these thumbs up i see all these numbers

all these likes all these retweets i

thought that there was this vast

audience that was waiting with baited

breath for my next missive when i

stopped posting for a month no one

noticed no one said anything no one

cared because the platforms create the

illusion of influence the illusion of

importance and we should not be

bathing in that context again it pushes

us to weird places

it's better for our sense of importance

to come from the actual things we're

doing in the real world with flesh and

blood other humans

i have the respect of this person

because over time i had been there when

they needed me

i have the respect of these people over

here because i've they've seen my work

they respect it they've read it i've

talked to them i know them well i have

the respect of my family because i've

been trying to be a a leader

a leader trying to be there for them

sacrifice on behalf of them you get a

calibrated sense of importance which

pushes you to actually do things of real

importance to live a more sustainable

deeper life

all of that again gets subverted and

short-circuited when you allow these

little manipulated metrics these little

numbers

next to icons on an app on your phone

tell you whether you're influential or

not tell you whether you're important or

not you don't want that inflatable sense

of importance you want a real

sense of importance made from doing real

things on behalf of real people that

really matters

all right so those are my four perks

that i think almost anyone will benefit

if they do not use social media or at

the very least

significantly reduce their footprint on

those platforms

so just to review what we have here you

will be bored more often but that

boredom will lead to good things your

anxiety will be lower because the world

constructed by your mind is constructed

from what you pay attention to if you're

paying attention to social media that is

going to be a grim unsettling world you

will have more privacy human beings are

not wired

to have amorphous large crowds of

strangers watching you react to news and

have interactions back and forth with

other heated strangers and finally it

will lower your sense of self importance

it will push you to seek sense of

importance in real ways and tangible

ways and that's ultimately better for

you it's better for your family is

better for your community

so if like a lot of people you're not

super happy about what's happening on

social media if you're not super happy

about the influence that social media is

having on your life if you're thinking

about stepping away let me tell you as

someone who has done this

it's worth it

if you don't like what's going on there

go

the benefits of leaving

might be much bigger than you at first

guess

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