Jimmy Deals With Audience Member Causing Trouble | Jimmy Carr Vs Hecklers | Jimmy Carr
Summary
TLDRIn this engaging and humorous script from a comedy show, the host interacts with various audience members, discussing topics ranging from hair transplants to military service, and from job interviews to newlywed life. With witty banter and sharp observations, the comedian weaves in and out of personal anecdotes and audience stories, creating a lively atmosphere that showcases his skill in improvisational comedy.
Takeaways
- 😄 The comedian discusses a hair transplant, humorously describing the process as 'socialist' because it redistributes hair from areas of abundance to where it's needed.
- 😅 There's a running joke about the comedian's hair making him look like 'Tintin with a plastic face' when he gets creeped out.
- 🎉 A man named Jack, who is in the military, is part of the audience and reveals that he recently got married.
- 💡 The comedian teases Jack about his wife being 'too good for him' and speculates that she might be interested in his 'military intelligence'.
- 🤔 An audience member named Dave is unemployed and looking for management roles, which leads to a series of puns and jokes about his accent and the idea of him managing a mill.
- 🤷♂️ The comedian addresses a disruptive audience member, suggesting they either be quiet or be asked to leave, using humor to handle the situation.
- 🎭 The comedian shares a personal anecdote about returning to St. Albans with a friend, where they had previously met and it led to a divorce.
- 💍 A woman named Wendy and her fiancé Pascal are in the audience, having recently gotten engaged in Antigua.
- 🏆 The comedian wraps up by promoting his new tour, 'Jimmy Carr Laughs Funny', and encourages people who enjoy his humor to attend.
- 🤣 Throughout the script, the comedian uses audience interaction and personal stories to create a dynamic and engaging performance.
Q & A
What is the main topic discussed at the beginning of the script?
-The main topic discussed at the beginning of the script is the concept of a hair transplant and how it works, described in a humorous and somewhat confusing manner.
What does the speaker compare the hair transplant process to?
-The speaker compares the hair transplant process to socialism, as it involves taking hair from where it's plentiful and redistributing it where it's needed.
What is the downside of the hair transplant mentioned in the script?
-The downside mentioned is that the person ends up with a spiky sensation on the back of their neck when they get creeped out, which resembles the look of the comic character Tintin with a plastic face.
What is the profession of the person named Jack in the script?
-Jack is in the military, specifically in the Air Force, and works in data science.
What is the humorous misunderstanding in the script about Jack's profession?
-There is a humorous misunderstanding where it's suggested that Jack might be a spy because of his military background, which he clarifies by stating he works in data science.
What is the relationship between the speaker and the person they are addressing as 'Jimmy'?
-The relationship is not explicitly stated, but it is implied that they have a history together, possibly as friends or acquaintances, as they mention returning to a place they first met 4 and a half years ago.
What is the context of the person being told to 'get your suit off'?
-The context is a humorous misunderstanding where the speaker initially tells someone to 'get your suit off,' but then corrects themselves to say 'get your suit up,' implying that the person is dressed inappropriately for the occasion.
What is the occupation of the person named Dave in the script?
-Dave is unemployed and currently interviewing for management roles.
What is the humorous suggestion made about Dave's potential job?
-The humorous suggestion is that Dave should be put in charge of a mill, due to his accent and the speaker's playful tone.
What is the situation with the couple who got engaged in Antigua?
-The couple, Wendy and Pascal, recently got engaged in Antigua, and Wendy works as a nanny while Pascal's occupation is not mentioned in the script.
What is the final segment of the script about?
-The final segment is a promotional message for Jimmy Carr's new comedy tour called 'Jimmy Carr Laughs Funny,' inviting people to visit his website for details.
Outlines
😄 Hair Transplants and Military Life
The comedian discusses his hair transplant, humorously describing the process as 'socialist' because it redistributes hair from a plentiful area to where it's needed. He then engages with an audience member named Jack, who reveals he's in the military. The conversation takes a light-hearted turn as the comedian playfully explores Jack's military role, eventually learning that he's in the Air Force and works in data science. There's also a comedic exchange about Jack's recent marriage and the comedian's skepticism about his wife's motives.
🎭 Observations on Audience and Comedy Club
The script shifts to the comedian's observations about the audience, particularly a man named Dave who is dressed informally despite the setting. Dave shares that he's currently unemployed and seeking management roles, leading to a series of jokes about his accent and potential job fit. The comedian also interacts with a couple who got married in Vegas, humorously questioning the authenticity of their union. The segment includes a critique of audience behavior, with the comedian addressing a disruptive group and a slightly intoxicated woman, using humor to maintain order.
💍 Engagements and Reunions
This paragraph features a couple, Wendy and Pascal, who recently got engaged in Antigua. The comedian jests about their engagement, making playful references to traditional proposals and the couple's relationship dynamics. Additionally, the comedian and a 'life boss' reflect on their past visit to St. Orbin, which led to a series of personal upheavals, including a divorce. The narrative includes a dramatic revelation of an affair and the subsequent relationship that emerged from it. The segment ends with a light-hearted interaction with a man named Jimmy, who is in love with his best friend, adding a layer of romantic intrigue to the show.
😂 Comedy Tour Promotion
In the final paragraph, the comedian, Jimmy Carr, promotes his new tour, 'Jimmy Carr Laughs Funny.' He uses the analogy of magnets to describe how jokes attract some people while repelling others, acknowledging the divisive nature of comedy. He invites those who enjoy his humor to his shows, providing the website for more details. This segment serves as a direct address to the audience, moving from the interactive and observational humor of the previous segments to a more personal and promotional tone.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Hair transplant
💡Socialist
💡Fintech startup
💡Military
💡Data science
💡New York
💡Vegas
💡Nanny
💡Engagement
💡Comedy club
💡Jimmy Carr
Highlights
A humorous discussion about hair transplants and the process of taking hair from one part of the head to another.
A joke about the misconception of 'donor' in hair transplants, leading to a funny comment about waiting for a motorcycle accident.
A comedic anecdote about the side effect of hair transplants causing the back of the neck to look spiky when hairs stand up.
A playful interaction with the audience where the comedian is mistaken for having a 'plastic face'.
A funny exchange about a military man in the audience, leading to a clarification of which military he serves.
A light-hearted moment where the comedian teases a military man about his role in the Air Force and what he does.
A humorous misunderstanding about the term 'fintech startup' and its potential as a cover story.
A comedian's playful banter with an audience member about being from New York and the implications of that.
A funny moment discussing the comedian's return to St. Orbin and the impact of his previous visit.
A comedic interaction with a newly engaged couple, including a playful jab about the proposal.
A witty comment about the audience's reaction to a homewrecker story, highlighting the comedian's ability to read the room.
A humorous situation where a man is trying to confess his love to his best friend, leading to a suggestion to do it live on stage.
A funny moment where the comedian addresses a couple who had an affair and subsequently got back together.
A playful and slightly inappropriate joke about a man's voice being perfect for managing a mill.
A moment of audience interaction where the comedian addresses a man's job search and suggests he should be in charge of something.
A comedian's self-promotion for his new tour, 'Jimmy Carr Laughs Funny', inviting the audience to see him live.
Transcripts
where's your real hair where's my this
is my real hair it's just it's just not
from
there this is The Wonder of the hair I
had a hair transplant right so the weird
thing about a hair transplant is they uh
it's quite socialist in a way they take
there's no donor right there's no donor
with it makes it sound like there
because it's got donor hair transplant
people think transplant is going to be a
donor there's no donor I wasn't
ghoulishly waiting by the
phone for news of a member of One dire
in a motorcycle
accident so I could Nick a quiff off a
cops
no what they do it's very social is they
take the hair from where it's plentiful
and they put it where it's needed right
so they took the hair from around the
back there they pluck it out
individually and then replant it
wherever you need it for me up the top
there I mean it works the downside is
you know that sensation you get where
the hairs on the back of your neck stand
up well now when I get that this bit
goes spiky yeah
if I get creeped out I look like [ __ ]
Tintin plastic face what sorry plastic
face I think he's saying plastic is he
saying plastic are you saying plastic
plastic face PL plastic face it's just
we couldn't understand when you said
plastic
a are you just
hungry so anyone got a Rubik's
Cube I can't help but notice you've got
a crown on C birthday it's his birthday
I couldn't give a
[ __ ] I think we all feel the same
what's what's your name my friend Jack
Jack yeah hi Jack
uh what do you do Jack I'm in the
military you're in the military our
military or Islamic
State good to clarify before we get
carried away and
applaud which one ours [ __ ]
tremendous love it what on
you and uh which bit of the military
because obviously there's different
personal what sorry we're getting quite
personal what are you a spy just the
world's worst I'm in the military [ __ ]
I'm not meant to
say
bastard go on which which bit are you
Navy Army Air Force Air Force Air Force
it's the [ __ ] best bit right it's the
[ __ ] best we're g and what what do
you do in the air because obviously
there's there's Top Gun pilots and then
someone's got to make the scrambled eggs
there
different in the military he's a what a
nerd he's a he's a nerd he's a data
science in the military yeah okay well
why are you [ __ ] him then
love did they you met the nerd from the
military at computer science it turned
you off and then it turned you on
again
presumably now I don't want to be that
guy but you don't sound like you're from
Round
Here whereabouts are you from New York
from New York okay Jack
Jack I don't know how to put this to you
in a way that you won't find incredibly
offensive she's clearly too good for
you and she's only with you for your
military
intelligence what s we just got married
two months ago you just got married two
months ago yeah don't no I'm not saying
I'm stop it what why are you clapping a
[ __ ]
spy of course I'll bring home the
military
Secrets I can't believe you let me touch
your
boob it's [ __ ] loser can't believe
he's
luck congratulations what what do you do
obious
spy yeah what do you do oh I work for a
fintech startup a fintech startup up
great cover story
because the problem with the cover story
is you don't want any follow-up
questions right who would ask a
follow-up question about a fintech
startup I feel quite drowsy just saying
it
again no one knows what fintech startups
are yeah
exactly I think we do we're just not
interested there a difference
and you're from New York yeah well
welcome to St
orans the city that often
sleeps yeah it's quite
doy good was very nice to have you yeah
congratulations on getting married where
did you get married s Orbin or New York
uh Vegas you got married in Vegas
yeah I feel somehow Jack's been
liveaction catfish
something is off about this
Jack God love him good luck you to any
other heckles please feel free oh you
need your suit off what sorry who you
need your suit up oh' you get your suit
up don't [ __ ]
no you sound objectionably
Northern a two 2 in yes suit so it must
be for somebody else no that's that's
that's how a suit is
Scutter I don't know I don't know if
you're aware
but you've come dressed by primar I mean
there there's no there's no
[ __ ] I don't want to be a dick about
it but you look like a potato still in
the sack
[Applause]
I've come dressed as Thomas Crown
[ __ ] what what's your name just
cuz I want to hear more of your voice
what's your name Dave
Dave I love the idea that he popped out
probably [ __ ] walked out
um I know he's mother
I what should we call him baby
Dave let's call him baby Dave Dave I
imagine he'll be a big
block what do you do
uh very
little it's for the best you don't [ __ ]
it
up go on who what do you do man uh quite
literally very little h on the L the
lady the Cara what do he what does he
doing a lady just raised her hand as if
to say he's not at his meds I can't make
him take his meds go what does he do
she's a teacher so she needs to raise
her hand for everything
okay go on what what do he doing he is
interviewing at the he's
interviewing well Dave all the very best
with I think there's an is there a is
there a quick way of when someone's
interview what's it called again
unemployed Dave you're un
employees I'm just interviewing at the
moment no Dave you're [ __ ] signing
on what kind of work are you looking for
management
roles yeah we should put you in charge
of
something I don't I'm I'm only going on
your accent Now Dave which is
magnificent by the way but does anyone
have a mill that needs
managing because that is the perfect
voice to go oh trouble up
Mill and they [ __ ] be with him in
charge seems quite why are you not
sitting down to to I'm going
toilet You' allowed to go on your own
you sound like a [ __ ]
[Music]
idiot just take a moment to just think
that's my [ __ ] job I'm allowed to say
that to people who else gets to do that
you when you you working in your job if
you meet a [ __ ] idiot I bet you've
got to make nice I guess get to just
call him a [ __ ]
idiot but Wai for you to take me you're
waiting for me to take you be waiting a
long
time I don't
know I blame the
alcohol not what you've had this evening
what your mother was drinking when she
was
pregnant that was quite a uh
quite a polite sort of Round of Applause
like someone had scored a four in
cricket for a joke about fetal alcohol
syndrome Ah that's rather good
yes I imagine he was from a terrible
home just join
in go and suck off Joe Rogan what sorry
go and suck off Jo go and suck off Joe
Rogan we're both straight guys and one
of us could kill
you that's more Joe's
Department are you a big Joe Rogan fan
is that your thing yeah I watch his
podcast you watch the podcast yeah I I
really enjoy doing it he's a very good
guy there you
go that's a boring
story it's good the comedy club's
[ __ ] great in Austin go there it's
great fun hang on I'm just going to deal
with this for one second uh guys you're
still standing out and I think you're
talking a little bit too much you're
probably irritating the people around
you so either stop or we're going to
kick you out it'll be a pain in the
ass no no don't just Crouch down either
sit down or get to the bar [ __ ] well go
you [ __ ] off [ __ ] off to the bar then
mate no no no [ __ ] off to the bar now
security go off
there and the slightly slightly drunken
lady I hope you're having a lovely time
but no more no
no couldn't give a [ __ ] just
shush there's a lovely Australian phrase
the Aussies have they don't get enough
credit for their phrasing they use the
language beautifully sometimes if a l
bit drunk and a bit loud they'll say
stick a dick in
it h I imagine you're no
stranger sh I find the work guarantee
a chatter blind that works 100% of the
time a chatter blind that works 100% of
the time does this rag smell of
chloroform to
[Applause]
you get in the
van no I'm very
all right I guess I could see the kids
at weekends be
fine any other Wendy who is very essic
just got engaged to one hell of a fell
by the name of
Pascal where's Wendy where are you
Wendy hi Wendy and Pascal you just got
engaged well I would ask did he go down
on one knee but I imagine you pissed on
a
stick we're getting married a trapa um
what what happened how was the how was
the uh proposal we got engaged in Antiga
in
Antiga ooh
fancy and and what what do you do Wendy
I'm a nanny you're a
nanny called
Wendy it's straight out of Peter Pan
isn't it I love it [ __ ] girl what
about Pascal what do you do Pascal he
got to the toilet
and Nanny didn't have to go with
him it's very grown up all right what
else we got um you have to love this but
me and the life boss have come back to
what you have to love this but me and
the life boss have come back to St Orbin
after 4 and a half years since we first
met here the first meeting triggered
divorce Etc it's been a blast row mm
seat one and two what the [ __ ] is going
on here
hey
D go what who who did what what happened
oh we started Our Fair 4 and a half
years ago so we come back tonight you
started an affair 4 and a half years ago
yeah oh and then and you've got divorced
and now you're together yeah we come
back
together
[Applause]
yay I tell you he's
applauding she loves a home
wrecker this poor man's dying of anxiety
give him back it's not
yours Jimmy I'm in love with my best
friend who's with me how do I tell her
that let's do it now where are
you who who's with their best friend in
love with them we might as well huh it's
me hi hi
Jimmy and where's the best friend hi the
best friend hi
and what
um it's a safic romance I wasn't
expecting
that okay ladies and uh how long have
you known each other forever
forever
oh and you fancy you're going on each
other's fannies
what sry I told her to grow a cck you
told her to grow a
cck I think she'll probably more
convenient just to strap one
on she doesn't like plastic she doesn't
like plastic she's spent the last two
hours staring at my face she'll be
right she get used to it um Good Luck
ladies hello I'm Jimmy Carr and I've got
a new tour it's called Jimmy car laughs
funny now I think jokes I like magnets
they attract some people some people
like my comedy and a million of you came
to see me on my last tour thanks very
much by the way uh but like magnets
jokes attract and they repel some people
are repelled by my sense of humor if
that's you don't come and see me live
but if you like this kind of thing come
and see Jimmy car laughs funny I'll be
uh well I'll be everywhere go to Jimmy
car.com for details
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