How to deal with unhappy situations? | Ep #571
Summary
TLDRThe speaker in the video script discusses strategies for handling uncontrollable situations and emotions, emphasizing the importance of self-reflection and discerning whether a situation is worth the energy to change. They share personal anecdotes about food preferences and how their boyfriend's understanding of their love for food serves as a unique expression of love and support. The script also touches on the idea of practicing mindfulness in everyday life to make quick, effective decisions.
Takeaways
- π€ When faced with uncontrollable situations, it's important to assess if the situation is worth the energy and time to change.
- π‘ Emotions like anger, unhappiness, and sadness can arise in uncontrollable situations, and it's challenging to step back in the moment.
- π§ Practicing self-reflection during high-stress moments can help in managing reactions to situations that are beyond one's control.
- π The practice of asking if a situation can be changed or not is not about frequency but about being able to apply it during intense moments.
- π« Recognizing and accepting that some factors, like weather, are uncontrollable can prevent unnecessary frustration.
- π‘ Quick self-checks with the question 'Can I control it or not?' can be a life-saving mantra for daily situations.
- π€·ββοΈ Sometimes, even if a situation is controllable, it might not be worth the effort or time to intervene.
- π The example of fighting over a seat in a train illustrates a situation that is technically controllable but may not be worth the engagement.
- π¦ The speaker's love for food, particularly a specific flavor of ice cream, is a recurring theme and a symbol of happiness.
- π« The boyfriend's act of buying the ice cream to soothe the speaker's upset mood is a demonstration of love and understanding.
- πΉ The video ends with a playful interaction where the speaker shares her happiness with the camera, emphasizing the joy food brings.
Q & A
What is the main strategy the speaker uses to deal with uncontrollable situations?
-The main strategy the speaker uses is to ask themselves if there is anything they can do to change the situation and whether it is worth their energy and time to make that change.
How does the speaker describe the practice of stepping back during moments of high emotion?
-The speaker describes stepping back during moments of high emotion as difficult but necessary, and it requires a lot of practice to be able to notice and manage one's reactions in the heat of the moment.
What is the quick question the speaker suggests asking oneself to assess control over a situation?
-The speaker suggests asking oneself 'Can you control it or can you not?' as a quick way to assess whether a situation is within one's control.
Why does the speaker mention the example of weather when discussing uncontrollable factors?
-The speaker mentions the example of weather to illustrate that some factors are outside of our control, and it's pointless to get upset about things we cannot change.
What does the speaker imply about the importance of self-awareness in managing emotions?
-The speaker implies that self-awareness is crucial in managing emotions, as it allows one to recognize when they are in the heat of the moment and to make conscious decisions about how to respond.
How does the speaker suggest using the concept of control in daily decision-making?
-The speaker suggests using the concept of control by quickly assessing if a situation is controllable and then deciding whether it's worth the effort to control it, which simplifies decision-making and reduces unnecessary stress.
What is the speaker's view on the relationship between control and power?
-The speaker views control and power as separate concepts, noting that not being able to control a situation does not mean one is powerless, but rather it's not one's responsibility or within one's job to control it.
Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of asking 'Can you control it or can you not?'
-The speaker emphasizes this question because it helps to quickly filter out situations that are beyond one's control, thus saving time and emotional energy on things that are not worth worrying about.
What does the speaker reveal about her personal preferences and how her boyfriend shows love?
-The speaker reveals that she loves food and does not ask for material things, and her boyfriend shows love by immediately driving her to get her favorite food when she wants it.
How does the speaker use the example of food to illustrate the concept of control in relationships?
-The speaker uses the example of food to show that she has control over what she likes and dislikes, and her boyfriend respects this by providing her with her favorite food as a way of showing care and affection.
Outlines
π€ Managing Emotions Through Self-Reflection
The speaker discusses the importance of self-reflection when faced with uncontrollable situations that evoke emotions such as anger, unhappiness, or sadness. They emphasize the practice of asking oneself if there is anything that can be changed about the situation and whether it is worth the energy and time to make that change. This practice is highlighted as challenging, especially in the heat of the moment, but ultimately beneficial for emotional regulation. The speaker also shares personal anecdotes and strategies for dealing with frustration, such as ignoring situations that are beyond one's control or focusing on what is truly important for personal happiness.
π¦ The Power of Food in Emotional Support
In this paragraph, the speaker shares a humorous and affectionate story about how food is used as a means of emotional support in their relationship. When the speaker is upset, their partner quickly provides them with their favorite food, such as pickles or ice cream, to cheer them up. This act is portrayed as a loving gesture that effectively halts negative emotions and brings happiness. The speaker also playfully suggests that their love for food is so strong that it could potentially lead to sponsorships and further emphasizes the joy and essence of happiness that food brings to their life.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Control
π‘Energy and Time
π‘Practice
π‘Heat of the Moment
π‘Unhappiness
π‘Anger
π‘Situation
π‘Decision Making
π‘Stress
π‘Emotional Regulation
π‘Love and Care
Highlights
The importance of evaluating whether a situation is worth the energy and time to change.
Recognizing and managing emotions like anger, unhappiness, or sadness when faced with uncontrollable situations.
The practice of stepping back and self-reflection in the heat of the moment to prevent impulsive reactions.
The difficulty of self-control during intense emotional moments and the need for practice.
Asking oneself if a situation can be changed and whether it's worth the effort to do so.
Deciding when to take action and when to let go in situations beyond one's control.
The concept of 'Heat of the Moment' and its distinction from other types of heat.
Strategies for dealing with frustration and the desire to react aggressively.
The significance of quick self-assessment to determine controllability of a situation.
The futility of worrying about things outside of one's control, such as the weather.
Examples of common situations where people fight over uncontrollable issues.
The value of small daily practices in managing emotions and reactions.
The process of making fast decisions by quickly assessing controllability of situations.
The personal anecdote about the love for food and how it's used as a way to express affection.
The humorous advice on using food to calm someone who is upset.
The closing remarks encouraging viewers to share, subscribe, and look forward to the next episode.
Transcripts
if there's something I can change then I
will ask myself do is this situation or
is this thing worth my energy and time
to make that
[Music]
change so anyway something that I do
when I'm faced with a situation that I
cannot control is I know that the anger
or the unhappiness or the sadness comes
up it really does come up and in that
moment it's very easy to it's very easy
to give in and very difficult to step
back but for me what I try to do is I
ask myself is there anything I can do to
change this situation and the one takes
a lot of practice because the practice
doesn't come from I think you have
practice this many times practice the
practice is not about it's very easy to
ask yourself these questions when you
are not worked up yep but In the Heat of
the Moment oh yeah tell me about to be
able to notice that you are in the Heat
of the Moment I'm not talking about the
heat in the bedroom that's a different
heat okay but the Heat of the Moment
when you want to kill somebody or when
you want to strangle somebody or you
want to burst into tears and cry because
you're so frustrated at the stupidity of
some people
you that it's those kind of heat I'm
talking about in that Heat of the Moment
it takes a lot practice to stop yourself
I'm not saying I'm perfect because there
are times where I still I it comes up
here and I'm like like this okay but
what happened was that uh if if I can
step back if I can step back ask myself
what can I change I'm unhappy in this
situation what can I change about this
situation if there's something I can
change then I will ask myself do is this
situation or is this thing worth my
energy and time to make that change and
then after that I decide or or can I
just sometimes I think it's not worth it
I will just leave or if you say there's
nothing I can do and I cannot leave I
will just ignore it yeah because there's
nothing I can do I think it's also the I
think this a tip that I did and even in
a lot of classes I teach people is
always ask yourself this sentence quick
one very quick for two second but really
save your life for day a lot
can can you control it or you can't and
a lot of people don't practice this
because like I say certain thing is
outside factor that you impossible to
control for example weather right just
say like just assume me in the morning
going to swi I'm going to swim or gym
it's rain I will ask myself can can I
control this situation or I can't if I
can't then why do I even bother Contin
new go the next situation you'll see
people fight in the train for example
can you control this situation or you
can't you can't technically you can but
do you want to you know technically you
can like call but the thing is they not
jump to you or or two of them not kill
each other yet they just fight over the
seat and it just entertain you in the
morning right it's like but all these
small practices make a lot of different
all like when you go down something that
and people just walk they don't kill
they root they don't hold the Le for you
and then you just have to ask can you
control this situation or you can't can
you control this or you can't not it's
out of your comfort out of your power
doesn't mean you're powerless but it's
out of your job right and and because of
that it make my daily easier a lot I it
makes it a lot easier I make a lot of
fast decision but day it's just by that
sentence two second can control or can
cannot control can control or cannot
control can control or cannot control
then if can it's like a mind M if can
control then do I want to control right
is this worth it like at the end of the
day even you can control something I was
just like correct is it wor I can
control but I can let someone do for me
yeah or is it worth your time to even
want to control this like okay I've got
better things to oh my God my happiness
is lesser oh no only left for five
grams from 400 grams from 400 G only
left the five grams you can show the
brand so maybe they will do some sponsor
for you maybe they send this to you they
better be they better be you know why I
buy so much the the lady will couldn't
believe it she were like and you only
buy this flavor all right I only buy
this I still have one more JY inside and
I will ask Joy to take car and buy for
me more where come
back no only left five gram of Happiness
one of the thing that my boyfriend I
love him the most is every now I say
baby I want to eat this he will straight
away drive me there and eat that is his
way of showing love yeah because he know
I love food and I don't ask anything I
don't ask car house clothes drink
earring go bar nothing I just food food
and it's very good you see when she's
hungry she gets upset so when she's
upset you take the pickle and P her
mouth immediately she not it is oh my
God you just get 10 jars of this this is
a pro tip for Joey get 10 jars of this
uh ice cream this GU 10 you know he's so
good at that that yesterday when I met
with him he will prepare the whole blade
cracker with pick with salami and you be
angry because no because yeah I so he
was so he's so freaking smart now he has
gotten the hang of it he know he know he
know okay she not okay no do the the che
out that take too long just take this
jar come out take a SP and then you
shove it in her mouth suddenly she
stop she will stop but I have to be the
food I like no this one this one oh this
is so good yeah she shove it her mouth
and then she will do you guys can feel
the essence of my happiness toward the
camera Can you feel it babe can you feel
it yeah I can feel
it I I I I can feel it I can feel it but
I am not a part of it yeah yeah because
it's not her maybe I bring her this shop
and she choose the ice cream she I will
choose something else for sure but it
doesn't have to be this sh I know this
sh is very popular share and subscribe
and we will see you guys at the next
episode of SIA I am in the SP ni bye
[Music]
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