Gary Stevenson

The Reset
28 Feb 202448:23

Summary

TLDRIn an engaging podcast interview, former City trader Gary Stevenson discusses his incredible rags-to-riches story. Growing up working-class in East London, Gary had an innate gift for math and a relentless drive to succeed. He landed a coveted trading job where his competitive nature fueled him to become the world's top trader, earning millions. However, Gary soon realized the toxic, high-pressure environment was harming his mental health. After an emotional breakdown, he found redemption through a simpler life in Japan and helping others via his popular economics YouTube channel. Though remnants of his past ambition remain, Gary has achieved more balance caring for both himself and society.

Takeaways

  • πŸ˜€ Gary grew up poor but was gifted at math from a young age and dreamed of working in finance
  • πŸ“ˆ He became the youngest and most successful trader at City Bank, making millions, but felt unfulfilled
  • 🀯 The trading floor attracted dysfunctional people and took a toll on Gary's mental health
  • 😞 He eventually burned out, sank into depression, and questioned the value of obsessing over money
  • πŸ§˜β€β™‚οΈ Finding love and spending a year depressed in Tokyo helped Gary start focusing less on himself
  • πŸ‘« Caring about others and helping people has been key to his recovery and finding purpose
  • πŸ” Though reformed, Gary still thinks like a trader and wants to educate people on economics
  • πŸ“š He wrote a book documenting his incredible story from poverty to riches and back
  • 😌 Gary has more balance now but still struggles not to overwork himself
  • ❀️ He believes you can care about yourself while also caring about others - it's not either/or

Q & A

  • What is the main theme of Gary Stevenson's new book, The Trading Game?

    -The main theme revolves around Gary's journey from a working-class background to becoming the world's most successful financial trader, his subsequent burnout, and his efforts to highlight the inbuilt inequalities of the world economy.

  • How did Gary Stevenson's background influence his career in finance?

    -Raised in a working-class family with financial constraints, Gary's exceptional talent in mathematics and competitive spirit drove him to excel in the field of finance, despite not having any connections or knowledge of the financial world initially.

  • What motivated Gary Stevenson to eventually walk away from his successful trading career?

    -After achieving significant success and facing burnout, Gary was influenced by the inequalities he observed in the economy and decided to devote his talents to addressing these issues, shifting his focus from personal gain to societal improvement.

  • How does Gary Stevenson describe the environment on the city trading floor?

    -He describes the trading floor as a dysfunctional yet familial environment filled with a diverse group of individuals, including math geniuses, overfed public school boys, and borderline psychopaths, all of whom contributed to the high-stress and competitive atmosphere.

  • What realization did Gary have about money and success after becoming the world's most successful financial trader?

    -Gary realized that despite his immense financial success, the pursuit of wealth and recognition did not bring him happiness or fulfillment. This led him to question the true value of money and success, and the impact of his work on society.

  • How did Gary Stevenson's perspective on the economy change after his first big loss as a trader?

    -The loss prompted Gary to delve deeper into understanding the economy beyond textbooks, leading him to a more human-centric view that considers the financial struggles of individuals and families, which ultimately influenced his analysis and trading decisions.

  • What impact did moving to Japan have on Gary Stevenson's mental health and perspective on life?

    -Living in Japan, a culture that emphasizes care for others, helped Gary to heal from his depression and reassess his values. It shifted his focus from self to community, aiding in his recovery and reshaping his approach to life and work.

  • What does Gary Stevenson hope to achieve with his new book and his current work?

    -Through his book and educational efforts on economics, Gary aims to share his insights on the financial world, highlight the societal impacts of economic inequality, and encourage a more equitable approach to economic policy and personal success.

  • How did Gary Stevenson's relationship and interactions with others change after leaving the trading world?

    -After leaving trading, Gary began to value relationships and human connections more deeply, moving away from valuing people based on their financial success to appreciating them for their intrinsic qualities and the kindness they offer.

  • What lessons does Gary Stevenson's journey offer about the pursuit of success and happiness?

    -Gary's journey illustrates that true happiness and fulfillment do not solely come from financial success or professional achievements but from meaningful relationships, contributing to society, and finding balance in life.

Outlines

00:00

😊 Introducing Gary Stevenson and his journey to becoming a top trader

The podcast host Sam introduces this week's guest Gary Stevenson. Gary grew up poor in East London but became the youngest and most successful trader in the City of London. He later burned out and left trading to highlight economic inequality. His new book documents this story.

05:00

😟 Feeling out of place at the elite London School of Economics

Gary talks about attending the prestigious but elite London School of Economics. He felt out of place among wealthy students but was motivated to work hard and beat them academically since he was talented at math.

10:01

😲 Winning a trading job through a card game that tested Gary's math skills

Gary explains how he won an internship at an investment bank through a special card game that tested his math and probability skills. He became obsessed with mastering the game in order to secure the highly coveted job.

15:03

😐 Coping with the intense hazing culture as a new trader

Gary describes the intense hazing rituals and hyper competitive culture traders face. He coped due to his supreme confidence and strong desire to prove himself compared to the dysfunctional traders around him.

20:04

πŸ€” Questioning the meaning of profiting from economic disasters

A turning point came when Gary made huge profits by betting on natural disasters worsening the economy. He suppressed moral questions over profiting from tragedy. This likely contributed to his later mental health crisis.

25:06

πŸ˜• Using human stories to understand economic hardship

Gary's colleague Bill taught him to understand economics through people's financial situations instead of textbooks. Gary analyzed friends' money struggles and realized the economy was failing regular people.

30:06

πŸ‘Ÿ Staring at worn shoes during a reprimand made Gary want to quit

A pivotal moment in deciding to quit was when Gary stared at holes in his shoes during a workplace tongue-lashing. This symbolized his unhappiness and made him question why he was still trading.

35:07

πŸ˜₯ Sinking into depression after being forced to stay in Japan

After Gary announced he was quitting, his employer transferred him to Japan and wouldn't let him leave. Being isolated there with no support caused Gary to sink deeply into depression.

40:09

😌 Making non-banker friends and embracing Japanese group culture aided healing

While depressed in Tokyo, Gary made non-finance friends and embraced Japanese group culture valuing collective joy. This shift to focusing on others' happiness began his healing process.

45:10

πŸ˜€ Still trading, but now helping others understand economics too

Gary still legally trades, feeling it's acceptable with his talent if he also educates regular people for free via YouTube. He concludes selfishness and altruism can coexist.

Mindmap

Keywords

πŸ’‘Mental Health

Mental health refers to the psychological and emotional well-being of an individual. In the context of the video, it is a central theme as it explores the mental health challenges faced by Gary Stevenson, a highly successful financial trader who experiences a burnout and mental health crisis due to the intense and competitive nature of his work. His journey highlights the impact of high-stress environments on mental health and the importance of addressing and managing these issues for overall well-being.

πŸ’‘Trading

Trading, particularly in the financial context, involves buying and selling securities or commodities in financial markets. Gary Stevenson's story is deeply entwined with trading, as he becomes the youngest and most successful financial trader in the world. His experiences on the trading floor, dealing with the pressures and challenges of the profession, serve as a lens through which the script explores themes of ambition, success, and the eventual toll on mental health.

πŸ’‘Inequality

Inequality in this script refers to the disparities in wealth, opportunities, and living standards within society. Gary Stevenson's work and subsequent advocacy focus on highlighting and addressing the inbuilt inequalities of the global economy, which he became intimately familiar with during his career in trading. His journey from a working-class background to financial success and then choosing to spotlight economic inequalities underlines the script's thematic exploration of social justice and economic disparity.

πŸ’‘Burnout

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It is vividly depicted in Gary's story as he reaches a breaking point due to the relentless demands of his career in trading. His experience underscores the script's focus on the consequences of high-pressure work environments and the critical importance of recognizing and addressing burnout for mental and physical health.

πŸ’‘City of London

The City of London is a historic financial district of London, home to the Bank of England and numerous global financial institutions. It serves as a significant setting in the script, symbolizing the pinnacle of financial success to which Gary aspires and eventually attains. The City represents not only Gary's career ambitions but also the broader themes of ambition, power, and the complexities of the financial industry.

πŸ’‘Working-Class Background

A working-class background refers to coming from a family or social setting characterized by manual labor jobs and often lower income. In the script, Gary's origins in a working-class family in East London play a crucial role in shaping his aspirations, values, and perspectives. His journey from this background to global financial success, and his reflections on inequality and economic disparity, highlight the script's exploration of social mobility and class dynamics.

πŸ’‘Economic Analysis

Economic analysis in the script refers to Gary's use of his understanding of economics to predict market movements and make trading decisions. His approach, which combines mathematical skill with observations of social and economic trends, illustrates a practical application of economic theory. This aspect of the story emphasizes the importance of economic literacy in understanding and navigating the complexities of the global economy.

πŸ’‘Self-Reflection

Self-reflection is the examination of one's own thoughts, feelings, and motivations. It is a key aspect of Gary's journey as he begins to question his life choices, values, and the impact of his work on himself and society. This process of self-reflection leads to significant changes in his life direction, underscoring the script's themes of personal growth, ethical considerations, and the search for meaning beyond material success.

πŸ’‘Competitiveness

Competitiveness in the script is depicted through Gary's drive to excel in school, trading, and later in advocating for economic equality. It showcases his innate desire to succeed and be the best in his endeavors. This trait propels him to great heights in his career but also contributes to his eventual burnout, illustrating the double-edged nature of competitiveness in achieving success and its potential personal costs.

πŸ’‘Recovery

Recovery in the script refers to Gary's process of healing and finding new purpose after leaving the trading world due to a mental health crisis and burnout. It encompasses his efforts to address his mental health issues, rediscover his values, and engage in advocacy work focused on economic inequality. Recovery is portrayed as a journey of self-discovery and redefining success, highlighting the script's message of resilience and the possibility of positive change following adversity.

Highlights

I had a gift when it came to maths. I won a few math competitions growing up.

I was super aware there's money problems in my family. I didn't want to ask for money because I knew they didn't have much.

At LSE, I thought university would be like American Pie. But the students were there playing chess - I couldn't believe it.

When people realized I did well academically despite my background, it motivated me. I wanted to show them what I could do.

I won a trading job through a card game that tested math skills. I became obsessed with memorizing the game.

The trading floor was full of totally insane people. But I knew that if they could do it, why not me?

My girlfriend was the first person to like me for me, not my external success. It made me question why I was doing this.

When I made money betting economies would suffer, I realized how messed up it was. But I suppressed those feelings.

I entered a mental health crisis from suppressing ideas about inequality and my responsibility to help fix the economy.

In Japan, receiving kindness and care from people who didn't know I was rich started to slowly heal me.

Finding myself freed me to care about others. Now caring about others makes me enjoy life more.

Younger problematic versions of yourself still exist inside you. But with wisdom, you can take care of them.

I still see the world through a trading lens. But now I share that knowledge freely to help others understand the economy.

We can be selfish yet still care about others. We're big enough to do both, and need both to be a complete person.

If you stay away from consumerism and commercialism, it gives you freedom.

Transcripts

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[Music]

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hello and welcome to the reset a mental

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health podcast without all the bollocks

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I'm Sam Delany my guest this week is

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Gary Stevenson The Economist writer

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YouTuber and former city Trader Gary was

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raised in a workingclass family in

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ilford East London where money was

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always tight but by his mid-20s he'd

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become the youngest Trader in the city

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of London and shortly afterwards the

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most successful Financial Trader in the

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world

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by the time he was 30 he' burnt out

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walked away from it all and devoted his

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talents to highlighting the inbuilt

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inequalities of the world economy that

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he had seen up close his new book The

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Trading game documents this incredible

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story it's exciting like a British

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version of The Wolf of Wall Street but

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it's also a deeply human story about

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ambition money inequality and all the

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ethical conundrums that those things can

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throw up suffice to say it's a story

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about mental health too as it says in

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the book The City trading floor was a

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place where your colleagues were

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dysfunctional maths Geniuses overfed

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public school boys and borderline

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Psychopaths yet they started to feel

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like family where soon you were the

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bank's most profitable Trader dealing in

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nearly a trillion dollars a day where

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you dreamt of numbers in your sleep and

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then stopped sleeping at all I found

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this chat with Gary engrossing inspiring

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and educational and I hope you do too

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Gary Stevenson welcome to the reset nice

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to meet you nice to meet you too um

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reading your book enjoying it um it is

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it's thrilling exhilarating fascinating

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dark at times um your story is

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remarkable uh grew up in in Alford East

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London sort of dreaming looking at

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Canary wolf every night in the distance

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and sort of dreaming like something in a

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movie movie about one day working there

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suppose my first question is you know

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you're from a workingclass background

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you didn't know anyone who'd worked in

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that world or been anywhere near that

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world so what do you think gave you that

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sort of belief from such a young age

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that that you would um end up

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there I think ever since I was a kid

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really I was

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always probably a bit in modest to say

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it but I had kind of a gift really when

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it came to maths I was always like very

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very good at maths

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i w a few Mass competitions growing up

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um I was always a sort of like the the

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top kid in school really if I'm allow to

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sort of say that and um I got into a

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grammar school I went to a grammar

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school Ila County High School which had

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more sort of like more sort of middle

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class kids middle class backgrounds um

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ilford is a very South Asian area ilford

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County high is a very Indian School and

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um had just loads of sort of Indian

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mates basically and they just had really

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good knowledge of what were the good

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jobs what he supposed to do um um and

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you know if you're sort of the smartest

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kid in school I just sort of figured

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yeah why not me I guess yeah and was

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that something that your parents sort of

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encouraged you in as

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well I think my mom especially she

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recognized I was very good at maths very

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early on um and she did sort of

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encourage that but really my parents are

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not sort of super like do well at school

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do well at school types I think I just

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sort of I was interested in it um I was

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I think more than anything I was quite

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comp comptitive kid really I wanted to

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sort of be I was that kind of kid that

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will make sure they're the top in the

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class and then just stop working you

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know I think that was that's what that

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kind of annoying

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kid uh but you're also really interested

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in or had you know a lot of feelings

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about money from an early age as

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well um where you think that came

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from yeah I write about that a bit in

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the book I mean I was just super aware I

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remember being super aware there's this

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one story in the book book isn't there

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of when um I was a kid and my parents

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gave me a pound coin to go to the eso

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garage and buy some lemonade and like I

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dropped it and just spent what felt like

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hours like looking for it like

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scrabbling in the drains looking under

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the cars and just going back home in

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floods of Tears um I was just super

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aware like the whole time I was a kid

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that my parents didn't have a lot of

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money that it was a problem for them um

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I was I didn't want to ask for money

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because I knew they didn't have much

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money so like as soon as I could I got a

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Pap around as soon as I because I got

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like a a weekend job um and I think you

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know you grow up in London you're just

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aware of these things and it's expens

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even back then it was an expensive place

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to live and you see people around you

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have got stuff that you don't have it's

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sort of it's hard not to see it I guess

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when you sort of moved up and you know

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you did really well at school and then

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you had the opportunity to go to

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London's School of

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Economics uh again did you feel like a

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fish out of water

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sir

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um yes or no I remember so I did math

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and economics at La school economics

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which is the only uh subject in the math

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department there so it's a lot of sort

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of MTH geeky kids and um I don't know

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about you when I was a like a teenager I

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saw of I thought University was going to

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be like American Pie you know and I

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remember we went on this sort of like we

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went on this like like uni trip to this

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sort of fancy Lodge in the countryside

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and I remember bringing a two L bottle

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of vodka and I remember turning up to

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like one of the like all of the students

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are meeting in this one room and the guy

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who opened the door just said you better

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not spit any that on the floor and

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they're all in there like playing chess

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I could believe

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it yeah they they were different types L

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see for people who don't know it's um

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it's a very elite University it's full

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of like basically kids of of of

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millionaires and multi

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multi-millionaires sometimes

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billionaires um but at the same time you

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know the way I saw it was I can still be

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the best at math I can still do the best

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in my exams sort of that's sort of my

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fullback you know as long as I can beat

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all these guys no exams no matter how

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much their dads pay for their education

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then I I'll be all right it was that

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almost like a bit of an incentive as

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well the fact that you knew a lot of

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these people were from very privileged

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backgrounds and you were there based on

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like this sort of incredible Talent you

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had you know this this intelligence with

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numbers and did that give extra

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incentive to be the best and to beat the

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others because you talk about this thing

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always wanting to win

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yeah well there's there's this one story

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in a book so my first year at LC when I

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was 19 that's when I got like my first

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proper girlfriend and like I was I was

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back in ilford she was one year below so

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she was still in like high school and I

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was like back in ilford like with my

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girlfriend all the time like I was but

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barely in school but I still got did

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pretty well in my first year and then

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suddenly in my second year like

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everybody knew who I was and I was kind

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of like confused about this and I asked

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one of my friends like why does

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everybody know I am because I got a good

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grade but it wasn't like the best grade

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like my mate got better than me and he

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said yeah but nobody expected that from

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you and I was like what was it I

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couldn't really believe it and that sort

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of that did motivate me to be like all

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right we're gonna show them basically we

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we're gonna show them what we can do and

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I think that probably that probably has

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been a theme for me like going through

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even when I got into the city like I I

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didn't really realize it until I got

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into these places but you know there's

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not a lot of kids from my sort of

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background in LC or in the city

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and the people there I think a lot of

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them the way they justify themselves is

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they just they just think we're thick

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basically so kind of wanted to sort of

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yeah make let them know that we're not

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because because we're not you know I

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don't know your background but you know

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where I grew up there was a lot of smart

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kids and it's there's a lot of

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complicated reasons why they don't get

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into places like the city yeah it's um

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it's a good motivator when you're

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treated with snobbishness or people

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underestimate you look down on you it

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can be a massive um motivator can't it

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and um it is interesting that you say

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that that they don't a lot of these

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these kids from privileged backgrounds

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tell themselves that it's not the

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privilege it's it's just an an

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intelligence that's Superior that gets

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in there so it is a um it's a great

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story the fact that you went and kind of

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you know disproved that to so many

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people and defied so many people's

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expectations tell us a bit about how you

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ended up being the the youngest City

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Trader in in in in London yeah so I went

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to LC and I kind of just naively thought

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you smash up your exams you get a job I

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thought that's how works the way it

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actually works is you have to send like

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30 cies and cover letters to like 30

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different investment Banks asking for an

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internship and um you know obviously a

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lot of these kids at LC from very

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privileged backgrounds that their

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families have been kind of prepping them

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for this so they'd all like they'd all

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like play OBO in the Royal Albert Hall

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or like B president of the junior United

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Nations or like Trek the Sahara Desert

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or something you know so and when I was

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a teenager I was I was working at at DFS

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and sofa shopping Beck pillows you know

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what I mean to be glim MC in my spare

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time so I was just like I couldn't

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really believe it like I just like I

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felt like he's a bit of a con basically

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you know you you do all this work to get

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all these grades and then you just

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overall basically because you're from

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the wrong background but one kid a guy

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from Grimsby who I'm friend to him he um

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who I had no idea who he was he was near

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above me he came up to me in the library

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one day and he just said you know City

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Bank hires one Trader a year through a

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card game which is basically a mass game

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so like you know you should go and you

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if you win this game you get a job and I

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was like all right I couldn't believe it

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Bas and so I just sort of became

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obsessed with this one game like

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memorizing everything about this game

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you say card game literally a card game

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literally a card game this is purely a

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numbers game it's a special made deck of

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cards which um penguin have given have

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been printing them out so maybe we can

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get you if you want especially made deck

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of cards some are higher some are lower

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you get one I get one there's like some

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sort of common cards and we're basically

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betting like through a trading system of

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like what the total is going to be so if

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I've got a high card I'm betting it's

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high this kind of thing it's kind of a

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poker style bluffing game with a kind of

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like a trading mechanic but really I

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just viewed it as a math game because

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really it's a numbers game it's a pure

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numbers game so you know I was good at

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maths I just got down like memorized

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this game went to the LSC round won that

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went to the final and well you you have

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read that bit I guess so you see that

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the final was some complicated stuff

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happened I don't want to spoiler it for

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the reader but um eventually I was given

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the job let's say the reader can see

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what happened it's amazing stuff I mean

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there were so many like points in your

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story in your book that is like you're

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watching it's been compared to W Ball

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Street um

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uh there it is Cinematic a lot of the

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dramatic things that have happened in

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your life and you must when you were

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writing this book have thought Jesus

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Christ what you know what a what a wild

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ride I've I've been on and been through

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and we haven't even got to the bit yet

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where it's already really kicked in with

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the lifestyle and all of that sort of

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stuff what was it like when you first

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entered that world because seems to me

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from my question from what you told me

play11:23

so far is that you always had a

play11:25

self-belief and a self-confidence that

play11:27

got you through any situation however

play11:29

in Congress you felt there but did did

play11:32

you know how weird was it when you

play11:34

stepped into City trading

play11:36

floor is a weird place so for people who

play11:38

haven't seen a trading floor City Bank

play11:40

is a massive massive bank it's an

play11:41

American Bank so some people might not

play11:43

be aware how big is one of the biggest

play11:44

banks in the world and they're one of

play11:45

the biggest trading banks in the world

play11:46

the trading floor here in Canary Warth I

play11:48

I still live quite near it massive

play11:51

massive room there's these rows and rows

play11:53

everybody's got like 10 screens massive

play11:56

screens and like you can't see sort of

play11:59

both sides at the same time just seems

play12:01

like millions of people

play12:03

um it's a weird space I think one of the

play12:06

weirdest things about it is the sort of

play12:07

the lingo the terminology like

play12:09

everyone's you don't understand what

play12:10

anybody's saying and sort of I turned up

play12:13

and I was just kind of asking people

play12:15

questions and nodding along I had no

play12:17

idea what anybody was saying and um it

play12:19

was kind of amazing to me that nobody

play12:21

realized I didn't have any idea what was

play12:23

going on but the whole way through it

play12:25

like to say I I was a very confident

play12:28

very competitive kid and I think you

play12:30

know I had I'd sit I'd been the top at

play12:32

LC I'd been the top you know my school

play12:34

was growing up so I kind of

play12:36

thought well I looked around me and you

play12:38

know You' have read the book so you see

play12:41

I assumed going in the trading floor was

play12:42

going to be full of geniuses it turned

play12:45

out it was kind of full of like just

play12:47

totally insane people more than anything

play12:49

else I looked around and I thought well

play12:51

you know if these guys can do it yeah

play12:54

why not me okay so this is an

play12:56

interesting thing does working in the

play12:58

city

play12:59

send you insane or do you do you have to

play13:03

be insane in I know that sounds like

play13:05

that Naf joke you get on cups in offices

play13:07

you have but there is something about

play13:10

from a from my very sort of

play13:12

two-dimensional perception of the of the

play13:14

city which is based on TV shows and

play13:16

movie depictions all the rest of it you

play13:18

know it feels like you've got to be

play13:19

pretty brutal at times heartless and

play13:22

absolutely Relentless and there probably

play13:23

is I mean you you use the word

play13:25

Psychopathic uh in the book and there

play13:27

probably is a lot of overlap in the

play13:29

characteristics and so what I'm saying

play13:31

is is there a natural filter that means

play13:33

the people who end up there and Thrive

play13:34

there have a sort of a kink in their

play13:37

Persona or or their mentality or does it

play13:40

just take people who are who are

play13:42

otherwise well balanced and just drive

play13:44

them in that

play13:45

direction I think it's a bit of both I

play13:49

think you know not everyone that goes

play13:51

into the city is the same but it tends

play13:53

to attract very very competitive people

play13:57

especially we get when it comes to

play13:59

trading a lot of very very competitive

play14:01

young men because it's difficult to it's

play14:05

it's very very difficult to get that job

play14:07

the people who get into it have

play14:09

generally been sort of prepping for a

play14:11

long long time so these are the kind of

play14:13

guys who have been kind of obsessed

play14:14

about getting into that that world since

play14:16

they were like 13 14 and often they've

play14:19

sort of made a lot of sacrifices you

play14:21

know they've been obsessing about

play14:23

getting into it for a long

play14:24

time but you know not everybody is

play14:27

totally mad I think I mean a a big part

play14:31

of the book is kind of my story of how

play14:33

it affected me basically and it's a very

play14:37

intense job it's very stressful I

play14:38

remember like quite clearly a thing that

play14:41

happened early on when I first started

play14:42

being a Trader which was I was walking

play14:44

through ilford exchange which is the

play14:46

shopping mall on the top floor and we

play14:49

walked past like a TV shop used to have

play14:52

them back then and there were all the

play14:53

TVs in the window and the News was on

play14:55

and I could see something happen on the

play14:56

news and I knew straight away like I'm

play14:58

going to lose like like 200 Grand when I

play15:00

woke in in the morning right and I think

play15:02

this living this kind of life where

play15:05

anything can happen at any moment that's

play15:06

going to hit you it does affect you and

play15:10

the guys who I was on the trading floor

play15:12

with there was kind of like this sort of

play15:14

hazing I remember the my first day on

play15:16

the floor I went when as a full-time

play15:19

employee I went to get lunch at the

play15:21

canteen and I came back and the guy next

play15:23

to me was just staring at me and he was

play15:24

like where have you been and I was like

play15:27

I've been to get lunch he was like where

play15:29

did you go I was like uh canteen what

play15:31

did you eat uh like sausage and beans

play15:34

and then he goes to me I've worked here

play15:37

for 10 years and I have never eaten in

play15:41

the canteen we eat on the desk like this

play15:45

kind of like hazing mentality people

play15:47

would grab you and be like what what was

play15:50

the UK Services PMI that came out just

play15:52

now and you had to know the number so I

play15:54

think there's a kind of it trains you

play15:56

into this kind of hypervigilant state

play15:59

and it's it is unhealthy I think and I

play16:01

think it's not just traders of experien

play16:03

this I think often you know living in

play16:05

increasingly Financial insecure world

play16:08

you know an increasingly online World a

play16:10

lot of people get trained into this sort

play16:12

of hypervigilant state where they feel

play16:13

like I can't make any mistakes I have to

play16:14

be always on the ball and I think that

play16:16

it definitely affected my mental health

play16:18

and I think it does affect the mental

play16:19

health of the people on the trading

play16:20

floor of course A lot of these guys have

play16:22

been to public school and and if you

play16:25

read about the experiences of public

play16:27

school you know that kind of of

play16:28

competitiveness and a sort of certain

play16:30

coldness and brutality is sort of every

play16:33

day um did you did you feel when you

play16:38

were first there was did you start to

play16:40

feel scared at any point or did you get

play16:43

angry or you know when I was a kid I was

play16:47

just

play16:49

so motivated to be so we haven't

play16:51

mentioned I I got expelled from school

play16:53

when I was 16 for selling like a very

play16:54

small amount of drugs and

play16:57

um that was a very traumatic experience

play17:00

and I think I responded to that by just

play17:02

saying like no more mistakes we go we

play17:05

reach the top nothing's going to stop

play17:06

you like you're the best you're going to

play17:07

do it and I think a lot of young people

play17:10

will sort

play17:11

of relate to that they've sort of felt

play17:13

similar things like I'm not going to let

play17:15

it stop me so I I was never scared um I

play17:18

was that kind of

play17:20

guy that I was just like wherever you

play17:22

throw at me I'm going to deal with it

play17:23

I'm going to go over it I'm going to

play17:24

like push through it and you know I was

play17:27

successful I was a very successful Traer

play17:29

it wasn't really until sort of a few

play17:30

years down the line that I started to

play17:32

sort of realize the toll it was taken on

play17:35

me so I wasn't really scared I was a

play17:39

very confident I was a Copa I was a kind

play17:41

of like a an over performer like a hyper

play17:44

work and I was really I was pushing

play17:46

myself too hard and over the years that

play17:48

that led to a burn up were drugs and

play17:51

drink uh coping

play17:53

mechanism not for me I was not that kind

play17:56

of guy you know there's another guy in

play17:57

the book a good friend called Harry

play17:59

sambi that sort of came in through me

play18:01

and he went down that path and a lot of

play18:03

people did go down that path but after I

play18:06

got expelled I expelled for weed at 16 I

play18:09

was like this is it we don't do this

play18:10

anymore no more drugs um I mean I was

play18:13

drinking but only just when people

play18:15

bought me drinks so you know I would

play18:16

very rarely have more than sort of one

play18:18

or two drinks a night really and that

play18:20

was by the by sort of later in my career

play18:22

I basically stopped going out entirely

play18:24

so I was sort of not your

play18:27

typical path you know I think we have

play18:31

people that cope by sort of going into

play18:32

these you know drunk uh drink drugs

play18:36

gambling these kinds of things but

play18:37

there's also people that just double

play18:39

down on work or like you know you even

play18:41

get people that I think really go

play18:43

aggressively into things that that might

play18:45

be healthy behaviors in moderation like

play18:47

things like gym people are going to

play18:48

really really hit the gym I'm going to

play18:50

really exercise and I wasn't really

play18:51

going mad at the gym but I was the other

play18:53

type which is classic Workaholics people

play18:56

that just go right in for the work work

play18:58

really hard so I was that type I wasn't

play18:59

really partying much I was just I wasn't

play19:02

really living much at all really I was

play19:04

just I was just trading and trading and

play19:06

trading what so what were you doing with

play19:08

all the money you started to make

play19:10

nothing really no it's it's crazy I you

play19:12

know I made so much money and I was that

play19:15

kind of guy you know we talk about this

play19:17

in the book here's my target I want to

play19:18

make 100 Grand 100 Grand done next

play19:20

Target half a million next Target

play19:22

million like and it's just like it's

play19:24

like playing Sonic the head so

play19:26

have to swear yeah yeah absolutely

play19:28

playing Sonic the Hedgehog it's just

play19:29

like top score top score top score

play19:33

like in hindsight it's stupid but that's

play19:37

just the kind of person that I was you

play19:38

know and there'll be a lot of young men

play19:40

out there that you know we want to be

play19:43

the best but we never really stop and

play19:45

ask ourselves why you know I think it's

play19:48

a result of coming coming from poverty

play19:51

living in this very competitive Society

play19:53

you know just wanting to show what we've

play19:55

got you know and it was I was in a weird

play19:57

situation where

play19:58

at a very young age like 24 25 I became

play20:02

the top Trader in the world and then it

play20:04

it was only really that that fed me to

play20:05

sit back and ask myself all

play20:08

right what was this all for again what

play20:11

was the point you know yeah I mean being

play20:14

a workaholic like any addiction is

play20:16

usually like sign of like a distraction

play20:19

technique to stop yourself from ever

play20:21

reflecting on the way you feel so did a

play20:23

moment arrive where where you started to

play20:26

sort of get in touch a bit more with

play20:28

with your

play20:30

feelings yeah so when I was how old was

play20:32

I 2011 so when I was 24 I started I

play20:35

started dating a girl it was like maybe

play20:37

my third my first like really really

play20:38

serious long-term relationship and she

play20:40

was a really nice girl she's from

play20:42

Norwich just like very sensible normal

play20:44

girl not not like me he was insane

play20:46

Trader at the time and um we started

play20:48

dating in 2011 which was the year that I

play20:51

became City bank's most profitable

play20:52

Trader in the world and um you know that

play20:55

was a massive deal for me I made a huge

play20:57

amount of money and I I got my bonus I

play21:00

cycled home I sat down in the corner of

play21:02

my front room I got all my paperwork out

play21:04

this is how much I'm getting this is

play21:05

what I'm doing what am I going to invest

play21:07

in it what this is going to go here

play21:08

that's going to go there and my

play21:10

girlfriend at the time came around a

play21:12

name in the book is Wizard which is what

play21:13

I used to call it she came around and um

play21:16

she looked at me and I could see when

play21:18

she looked at me that she was thinking

play21:19

H he doesn't look good and I was

play21:21

thinking you looking and then she came

play21:23

over and she was like you know what are

play21:25

you doing and I was like I'm doing my

play21:28

ments and she's like well you seem like

play21:30

you seem pretty stressed out and I was

play21:33

like well it's a lot of money of

play21:35

course I'm stressed out and she just

play21:37

said to me you know if I just made as

play21:40

much money as you just made the last

play21:42

thing I'll be doing is sitting in the

play21:44

corner of my living room stressing the

play21:45

out

play21:48

and this little part of me straight away

play21:50

realized me she's right

play21:52

isn't she what the am I doing but

play21:54

this other part of me was like you

play21:56

like what the are you doing like I

play21:57

worked hard for this you know

play21:58

and it sort of I think this daating her

play22:02

she was probably the first person like

play22:04

when I was a kid growing up people knew

play22:06

who I was he's that guy that got

play22:08

expelled from grammar school he's that

play22:09

really smart kid he's gonna go be big

play22:11

shot one day so I was kind of being

play22:13

judged for these kind of external things

play22:15

intelligence success money and then I

play22:18

dated someone who it really felt like

play22:20

they just like me as a person she was

play22:21

like you hate that job you know

play22:23

you should quit and it kind of made me

play22:26

it sort of just really receiving that

play22:29

kind

play22:30

of non-materialistic kindness and being

play22:33

viewed as just as a person rather than a

play22:35

success for the first time kind of made

play22:38

me real that's what sort of made me

play22:39

start to question I

play22:41

think why why am I doing this like it

play22:43

maybe there's something more important

play22:44

than just being Rich you know

play22:46

what I mean I mean a lot of what you've

play22:49

talked about in terms of your decision

play22:51

to leave and and your perception of the

play22:53

way the economy works is you know about

play22:56

inequality and and you you know you grew

play22:58

to understand you were or you felt as if

play23:01

you were contributing to an unjust

play23:04

system that was worsening

play23:06

inequality

play23:07

um that you know which obviously that's

play23:10

that's a a view that you know that

play23:11

that's there's some I don't know how

play23:13

political you are but there there's

play23:15

something political about that but did

play23:17

that all start from more of like a human

play23:19

perspective like her intervention for

play23:21

you to start seeing yourself from a more

play23:24

human perspective is that how this sort

play23:25

of it was almost like a road to Damascus

play23:28

you had yeah well in a weird way like

play23:32

this this came out of the trading in a

play23:35

way but it does have a human angle so in

play23:38

2010 I had my first like big loss as a

play23:41

Trader which is when I was

play23:43

20

play23:45

23 and um my

play23:49

reaction was to go back to the books you

play23:51

know I went to LC I'm an economics

play23:53

student and I started to bring my books

play23:54

into the office and I was like reading

play23:56

these textbooks in the office and I was

play23:58

very lucky when I was a Trader I worked

play24:00

with one guy who was from also from

play24:03

workingclass background he was in his

play24:05

sort of mid to late 40s when I worked

play24:06

with him his name in the book is Bill um

play24:09

he never went to University wasn't that

play24:11

kind of guy and he saw me like in these

play24:13

textbooks come up to me just slapped

play24:16

these textbooks out of my hand and threw

play24:17

them into the bin and I was like what

play24:19

the are you doing and he was like

play24:20

listen you're not a kid anymore

play24:22

right if you want to understand the

play24:24

economy it's not in those books

play24:26

go home and ask your mom what she thinks

play24:29

about the economy what's her financial

play24:31

situation like look at what's being

play24:32

advertised on a tube walk down the High

play24:34

Street look at what shops are closing

play24:36

down ask your friends ask your friends

play24:37

families about their financial situation

play24:39

and he kind of told me like the economy

play24:42

is not just numbers it's it's

play24:45

people and people's lives and if you

play24:48

look at it like that you can actually

play24:49

have a better understanding so it's a

play24:51

very human angle but I use that to do a

play24:55

very kind of cold analysis of what's

play24:57

Happening and when I went and ask people

play24:59

what's happening you know the question I

play25:01

was asking people is why don't you spend

play25:03

more money because that's why the

play25:03

economy is weak obviously everybody says

play25:05

I don't have any more money you

play25:07

know then you start digging in and you

play25:09

realize like damn you start looking at

play25:10

your friends and their families their

play25:12

financial situation and you realize like

play25:15

you know this is messed up like if

play25:16

people are losing their homes people are

play25:18

really struggling then you turn around

play25:20

and you see the guys you're working with

play25:21

in the city you know making million

play25:23

pound a year buying like five houses on

play25:25

the river and you start realizing in

play25:28

like this is a problem this is a cause

play25:30

but I didn't view it even though I was

play25:33

doing this human

play25:34

analysis I was using that to do a very

play25:37

sort of cold conclusion of okay the

play25:39

economy is going to be bad what do we do

play25:41

we put this bet on and it was only after

play25:44

really I think one big thing that

play25:46

happened that sort of hit me and I think

play25:48

I kind of repressed at the time was I

play25:50

put this big bet on that the economy is

play25:52

going to be terrible forever that was

play25:53

this that was my big bet and then just

play25:56

like a week or two later

play25:58

the 2011 Japan Fukushima earthquake

play26:01

happened and I made a ton of money on

play26:04

that because it's bad for the economy

play26:06

and you know 20,000 people died in the

play26:08

earthquake and you're kind of just

play26:10

sitting there just

play26:12

like what does this mean what does this

play26:14

mean to make money on disaster you know

play26:16

and then you you just kind of ignore it

play26:18

and then you you know you say okay we're

play26:20

going to keep having more disaster then

play26:21

it happens and then I was City bank's

play26:23

best Trader in the world based on

play26:24

betting on disaster you know and it's

play26:25

kind of it's it's such a crazy

play26:28

experience to have as a person um but

play26:31

yeah I was not a political kid I wasn't

play26:32

really raised to ask these questions

play26:34

about what does it mean what should we

play26:35

do and I think I suppressed it and I

play26:37

think I suppressed it for years and I

play26:39

think that was probably one of the

play26:40

reasons why I entered you know towards

play26:43

the latter part of the book I entered

play26:44

really a kind of a mental health crisis

play26:46

really and I think it came from you know

play26:49

suppressing these ideas of you know do I

play26:52

do we as individuals have a

play26:54

responsibility to try and help others

play26:56

and try and try to try to fix broken a

play26:58

broken

play26:59

economy and and how did that manifest

play27:02

itself was that like these

play27:05

realizations plus presumably just

play27:07

complete exhaustion I mean you got to

play27:09

just be emotionally mentally and

play27:11

physically exhausted after years of of

play27:14

working the way you

play27:15

did yeah I mean now looking back I can

play27:18

sort of be sort of clinical and say

play27:20

recognize it as a burnout but at the

play27:22

time I didn't really know what burnout

play27:23

was I I started to get these really bad

play27:26

pains in my stomach which were I guess I

play27:30

get you can call him an acid reflux like

play27:31

it just felt like a pain in my heart and

play27:33

I had to go on pills for that it's

play27:35

really like strong burning pain in my

play27:36

heart but then I I started to become

play27:39

like really

play27:41

disinterested I didn't I I never stopped

play27:43

loving trading just the trading I hated

play27:46

the floor I I stopped talking to

play27:47

everyone I cut off some of my closest

play27:49

friends barely spoke to my family um I

play27:52

bought a new apartment which is actually

play27:53

the apartment I'm talking to you from

play27:55

it's quite a nice apartment like down

play27:56

near near canary in the river I ripped

play27:59

everything out I didn't buy any

play28:00

furniture just put a bed a

play28:02

mattress down and a TV down and um I

play28:05

just you know you know you know about

play28:08

these things

play28:09

like I I lost interest in anything the

play28:12

only thing I was doing was trading that

play28:13

was it I didn't care about anything else

play28:16

you know even things like just tidying

play28:19

up you lose interest in it um yeah and

play28:22

looking back I can see now it was a

play28:23

burnout but at the time I didn't see

play28:26

anything wrong with it and what was

play28:27

weird about it was at the time I was

play28:28

also like the best Trader in the world

play28:30

and I was making tons of money so

play28:31

everyone around me is like you're the

play28:33

man man then you you go home you don't

play28:35

even have any flaws in your

play28:36

house and you just like I mean I was

play28:40

very young I was 20 23 24 25 I didn't

play28:43

know anything about mental health I

play28:44

didn't have many support structures

play28:46

around me when I tried to talk to the

play28:48

management like you know I think I'm

play28:50

unwell they thought I was trying to sort

play28:52

of Huggle for more money and they would

play28:54

just like throw more money at me and it

play28:55

was like okay well that's nice but I'm

play28:58

not sure that's going to fix the problem

play29:00

and just just a little bit of a side of

play29:03

it's fascinating to me that you know

play29:05

you're the most successful Trader in the

play29:07

world and you're living just like in

play29:08

this really kind of simplistic

play29:10

non-materialistic way I mean when it

play29:12

came to you you know which I'm going to

play29:15

ask you about now is like the point at

play29:16

which you're actually quitting you're

play29:18

walking away from this you know this

play29:20

this lucrative life one thing you didn't

play29:23

have was you I I suppose a lot of your

play29:25

peers would have been to Al Al locked

play29:28

into a lifestyle which meant it would be

play29:30

absolutely impossible for them to ever

play29:32

walk away from that career whereas you

play29:35

didn't have to by sound things you

play29:38

didn't have the the the big sort of

play29:39

indulgent or extravagant lifestyle that

play29:42

you didn't really need money based on

play29:44

the way you lived is that right well I

play29:47

mean I needed some everyone needs money

play29:49

but I mean you weren't locked into like

play29:51

some extraordinary Elton John style

play29:53

lifestyle right yeah I never it's it's

play29:57

so crazy looking back because when I was

play29:58

a kid I was kind of obsessed with making

play30:00

money and then as soon as I made money I

play30:02

completely stopped spending money like

play30:04

when I was a kid I would I did a paper

play30:06

round for 13 pounds a week it got cut to

play30:08

12 pounds a week and I would save up for

play30:10

10 weeks and buy a pair of like TN Nike

play30:12

TN trainers for1 130 pound and you know

play30:15

I really cared about what I had and but

play30:17

then as soon as I started making tons of

play30:18

money I just totally stopped spending

play30:21

money I stopped going out I stopped

play30:22

saying it was weird and I think I think

play30:24

looking back in

play30:25

hindsight I thought I was was motivated

play30:27

by being rich but actually I probably

play30:31

just didn't want to be poor

play30:33

anymore you know it's tough and I think

play30:36

you know there's a lot of material

play30:38

difficulties involved with being being

play30:39

poor and you know a lot of people will

play30:41

be well aware of that you know there's

play30:43

men many people struggling to put the

play30:45

heating on and to get put food on the

play30:47

table but one other big factor about

play30:50

being poor especially as a kid is the

play30:52

judgment that comes with it you

play30:54

get so you feel so judged and he feels

play30:57

so looked down on and um especially as a

play31:01

kid it's you know it's obviously

play31:03

horrific you know it's not I mean I

play31:05

don't think it's anybody's fault that

play31:06

they're poor but it's so painfully

play31:08

obvious when you're a kid you know

play31:10

you're I'm fing 15 what do you want me

play31:11

to do you I'm running I'm working a p

play31:13

and I'm working at DFS you know um so I

play31:17

think that probably that was what I was

play31:18

motivated by um but it definitely it it

play31:21

made it easy to walk away and it meant

play31:23

you know when I was a kid when I was a

play31:25

teenager I I you buy the absolute

play31:28

cheapest of everything you know what I

play31:30

mean and then that feels terrible but in

play31:35

a weird way it gave me this freedom

play31:37

because I knew I could I knew I could

play31:39

live that kind of life and I knew I

play31:40

could walk away from that money and

play31:42

there was one sort of meeting I remember

play31:43

having with the one of Senior Management

play31:45

when I tried to leave and the manager

play31:47

was like how much money have you made2

play31:49

million pounds that's nothing you'll be

play31:50

back you'll be back on your knees and

play31:52

you that won't even last you five years

play31:55

and I remember thinking two

play31:56

million pounds that's probably more than

play31:58

my family's made in 25

play31:59

Generations I'm not going to be back on

play32:01

my knees you know what I mean

play32:03

but that's that is you

play32:05

know people from wealthier backgrounds

play32:07

they live these kind of Lifestyles where

play32:09

they'll spend half a million quid a year

play32:10

that's what they need is to cover their

play32:12

Basic Essentials you know for me you

play32:14

know I definitely don't need that much

play32:15

you know and that that gives me freedom

play32:18

and and you know I think it is it's easy

play32:22

to fall into that Trapp of consumerism

play32:23

and commercialism but if you can stay

play32:25

away from it then you know it can make

play32:27

your life a lot easier and it can it can

play32:29

make you you know I've seen very wealthy

play32:31

men who are tied to their screens you

play32:33

know so money doesn't solve all your

play32:34

problems if you if it becomes an

play32:36

addiction what what was the point where

play32:38

you realized you were going to get

play32:42

out was there one

play32:45

so there's sort one scene in the book I

play32:47

don't want to sort of spoiler it but I

play32:49

started to sort act out I started to

play32:51

piss people off on purpose right and I

play32:53

didn't really sort of know what I was

play32:54

doing I think I was kind of angry in

play32:56

some way at these people around me for

play32:58

not realizing I was sick or maybe

play33:00

because of the inequality which was so

play33:02

sort of manifest around me um and there

play33:05

was one sort of meeting where I got HED

play33:07

off the desk and got put into this

play33:09

office and I was just getting shouted at

play33:11

and

play33:12

um by then I I wasn't wearing like work

play33:16

clothes I'd cycle into the office and

play33:18

I'd just b dress very similarly to how

play33:20

you see me now I'd be trading and um I

play33:22

was still wearing the shoes that I used

play33:24

to wear to go to UNI which is a pair of

play33:26

onuka tigers

play33:27

and I was just sitting down getting

play33:29

shattered looking at my shoes and I

play33:30

suddenly realized that I had massive

play33:32

holes in both of my shoes and I could

play33:34

see my socks scking out of the shoes and

play33:36

I was thinking like that's kind of this

play33:38

moment this this little moment where you

play33:39

realize like why the am I doing

play33:43

this just out of interest in this this

play33:45

is very vulgar but what sort of money

play33:48

did you have in the bank in your

play33:50

personal bank account when you were

play33:53

looking at your shoes and you had and

play33:54

your and your toes were sticking out

play33:58

well I mean I was very active investing

play34:00

so I wasn't keeping in the bank but I'd

play34:02

been paid million pounds in the previous

play34:03

year right right yeah um but I'd become

play34:09

I had become like like a money-making

play34:13

like machine in a way what it's and for

play34:17

me a big part of the book is about kind

play34:20

of the dehumanization that comes with

play34:24

the obsession with money in our society

play34:26

yeah when you turn people into numbers

play34:28

and you make people obsess about money

play34:31

I've you know I've got so many people

play34:33

that I know they and and I was the same

play34:35

when I was younger they just think if I

play34:37

just had more money everything would be

play34:38

fine if I just had more money everything

play34:40

and you know I don't all want to

play34:42

disrespect the many people who are

play34:43

living in serious poverty that do need

play34:45

more money but the truth

play34:47

is there are a lot of things in life

play34:50

that are very important that are not

play34:52

just about money and you know you'll

play34:54

know that you know but we we we create

play34:57

this society which forces so many people

play34:59

into poverty forces so many people to

play35:01

obsess about money you know what are the

play35:03

things that we're forgetting about while

play35:06

we're obsessed with making more money

play35:08

you know I was definitely forgetting

play35:09

about a lot of things

play35:11

myself um so sorry you you're acting out

play35:15

at work and is is that what brought it

play35:17

all to her

play35:19

head well I saw kicked off and then I

play35:22

just said I S I just said I want to quit

play35:24

I hadn't planned it at all just came out

play35:26

I to quit and my boss

play35:28

was shocked and um they sort of Managed

play35:33

IT they were like you can't what I asked

play35:36

was a sabatical I was like I don't I

play35:38

don't need I want a sabatical and they

play35:40

were like the big boss is like don't

play35:42

give him a sabatical because he'll never

play35:43

come back and you know I was like the

play35:44

big CH you you were too valuable to them

play35:47

presumably yeah basically like don't

play35:48

give him Mr what we'll do is we'll offer

play35:50

to move him to Japan we'll give him like

play35:52

a nice big corporate apartment a nice

play35:54

big salary in Japan he's young it'll be

play35:56

exciting sending to Japan and I was kind

play35:59

of like I don't think that's a good idea

play36:02

and they were like no you have to go

play36:04

it's kind of weird sort of sinister way

play36:05

and then they sent me to Japan and of

play36:08

course like you know if I was if I was

play36:10

struggling for support structures in

play36:12

London you can imagine in Jaan I didn't

play36:14

speak the language I didn't

play36:16

understand anything about the food I had

play36:18

no friends there was super alien culture

play36:21

and I I sank really deeply into a

play36:23

depression basically when I was there I

play36:25

was still making money as a Trader

play36:27

but that's when I kind of decided like

play36:29

you know my stomach problems were

play36:31

terrible I lost a ton of weight I got

play36:33

down to I think I was less than nine

play36:35

stone and you know I'm quite a small guy

play36:38

but nine stone is is not a lot I mean

play36:41

and I think it was I think I was pushing

play36:43

it away I was kind of in denial that I

play36:45

was having mental health problems but it

play36:47

just it reached a point where it was so

play36:48

obvious and my girlfriend was you know

play36:50

really worried about me and she was just

play36:52

like what are you doing you know you

play36:53

need to and then that's when I sort of

play36:55

realized you know this is gone too far

play36:57

like we have to walk away from this

play36:58

whatever happens like we have to walk

play37:00

away and they did they tried to stop you

play37:03

again didn't they I mean there was sort

play37:04

of like the book opens with some you

play37:06

know thinly veiled threats from from uh

play37:09

one of your bosses yeah we've got the

play37:12

opening scene of the book which um is my

play37:15

my boss in Japan he was an American

play37:18

making it pretty clear let's say that

play37:20

it's it's not going to be easy if I want

play37:21

to leave um it's quite a dramatic scene

play37:25

um but obviously was you know it was

play37:29

very traumatic you know it was basically

play37:31

saying you know if you leave you know

play37:33

we're going to sue you and you're going

play37:34

to lose everything and you know I didn't

play37:37

have a lot of support out there and I'd

play37:39

worked hard for this amount of

play37:40

money also at the time my mental health

play37:43

was so

play37:44

bad I basically thought I'm never

play37:46

goingon to be able to work again that's

play37:48

what I thought I'll never be able to

play37:49

work again so I need this money because

play37:51

I can't work anymore like I'm F this I

play37:53

need this money to pay the bills and to

play37:54

buy food because I can't work anymore

play37:57

um but yeah it was a they made it very

play38:00

difficult and they set a challenge for

play38:01

me but um I'm here now so you can see

play38:05

you can see uh you can you can read that

play38:06

full conflict in the book was a

play38:09

difficult

play38:10

time what was your recovery like you

play38:13

know when when you sort of left that's

play38:16

you know you start to get you know the

play38:18

work is no longer providing the

play38:20

distraction or the the numbing sort of

play38:23

effects that it had done for years so

play38:26

when it when you just had to sit and get

play38:28

in touch with all of these feelings and

play38:30

and issues how what how did you go about

play38:32

that did was it did you see therapist

play38:35

what was it you know it was a weird

play38:37

thing right because I wanted to quit

play38:39

leave Japan and come back to London but

play38:41

because the bank kind of basically

play38:43

refused to allow me to quit I was forced

play38:45

to stay in Japan um and not work

play38:48

basically and I ended up taking a bit of

play38:49

sick leave and it was a weird one

play38:51

because you know I was kind of being

play38:52

threatened with being sued by like the

play38:54

biggest corporation in the world and I

play38:56

wasn't able able to work but I was kind

play38:57

of like stuck in in Tokyo and

play39:01

um the fifth part of the book is set in

play39:04

Tokyo and the opening line of that part

play39:05

is Tokyo is a wonderful place to be

play39:08

depressed especially in the Autumn and

play39:12

um Tokyo is a funny place because I

play39:16

think Japan is a culture that is

play39:18

obsessed with the the obligation of the

play39:21

individual to society and to the people

play39:22

around them and to others whereas I grew

play39:24

up in London which you know has a

play39:26

culture I think of you know get the

play39:28

money sort yourself out you know and

play39:32

there was there's one scene in the book

play39:33

is towards the end of the book it's not

play39:34

spoiler because it's a very short scene

play39:36

I went to karaoke with I started to make

play39:38

friends in Japan and I hated karaoke

play39:40

hated I'm actually quite a good singer

play39:42

but I hated karaoke I used to get very

play39:43

self-conscious I wasn't used to it and I

play39:45

suang my little song and I sat down and

play39:47

this old Japanese man he said to me

play39:50

listen you you're doing karaoke wrong L

play39:52

you don't need to worry about whether

play39:54

you sing well or you sing badly the only

play39:56

thing that matters is that your guests

play39:59

have a good time and there's this idea

play40:02

in Japan that you should you should care

play40:04

about others and make sure people around

play40:06

you are are doing okay and obviously I

play40:09

received a lot of this attention in

play40:11

Japan and when I first went to Japan I

play40:12

wasn't used to it and it kind of

play40:14

stressed me out and I got very like I

play40:16

felt claustrophobic but then being falc

play40:18

to sort of wander around Tokyo for like

play40:21

a year without any work learning

play40:23

Japanese getting used to the people and

play40:25

and receiving this kind of

play40:28

care it's it kind of started to like

play40:31

slowly heal me in a way and I started to

play40:34

make friends that didn't know I was a

play40:36

banker didn't know I was a millionaire

play40:37

they just thought I was some you know if

play40:38

you're an English guy in Japan people

play40:40

think you're like a impoverished English

play40:41

teacher because that's what most English

play40:43

and Japan are and I just started to get

play40:45

treated as just a a human again you know

play40:48

rather than a millionaire banker and you

play40:51

know you know it was a long process and

play40:53

a couple years in Japan didn't fix

play40:54

everything and you know I've done

play40:55

therapy since I've come back and it's

play40:58

been yeah I think the the work that I do

play41:00

now which is which is not for me which

play41:02

is for others I think does a massive

play41:04

amount to help me and but I think it's

play41:07

I've heard who is it I heard somebody

play41:10

talk about it it's like first you find

play41:13

yourself and then you find others you

play41:15

know what I mean and I think for

play41:17

me being cared about and being in the

play41:20

space where people cared about me freed

play41:22

me to care about others and now when I

play41:24

go to karaoke all I want to do is make

play41:26

sure other people have a good time and

play41:28

like paradoxically I enjoy it much more

play41:31

right now that caring about others and

play41:33

thinking about others makes me enjoy my

play41:36

life much more and sometimes I think

play41:38

that in this country especially in

play41:41

London we have too much of a

play41:43

self-focused culture that obsesses with

play41:44

ourselves and I don't think I honestly

play41:47

don't think humans can be happy if

play41:48

they're if they're obsessed with

play41:49

themselves I think you need to be

play41:51

connected with others you need to care

play41:53

about others you need to to give others

play41:54

and you I'm not a professional P

play41:56

psychology so you can take it that what

play41:57

you will but but but for me you know and

play42:00

I wouldn't say I'm you know a paragon of

play42:02

perfect mental health now but I've come

play42:04

a long way from where I was and for me a

play42:07

big part of that is is no learning to

play42:09

take care of other

play42:11

people yeah well I mean you know I'm not

play42:13

a professional either but it's something

play42:15

that certainly when you hear people

play42:16

who've made a recovery and and people

play42:19

who are close as you know I sit in like

play42:22

um in meetings with other people in

play42:24

recovery from all sorts of things and

play42:26

it's one of the most common things that

play42:27

comes up is aligned with what you said

play42:29

is that you know the more you devote

play42:31

time and energy to to helping others the

play42:34

better you feel um I guess my biggest

play42:37

question before we wrap up is like you

play42:40

seem to have been from what I can

play42:42

establish you were born with a certain

play42:43

innate drive and competitiveness and you

play42:46

know right from a young age that seems

play42:48

evident that's just part of you and and

play42:52

and it helped you get to where you got

play42:54

to but also it sounds to me as if it was

play42:57

you know it was also a burden in many

play42:59

ways have you managed to to sort of push

play43:03

that down or or even get rid of it or is

play43:06

it still there burning even though

play43:07

you've devoted your life to something

play43:08

else is it still there haunting you do

play43:10

you still want to win do you still want

play43:12

to kind of prove yourself it's funny I I

play43:15

mean it's there to a degree so I

play43:17

recently went back to I did a masters at

play43:19

Oxford 17 to 19 and I was already about

play43:22

to turn 31 when I started and I didn't

play43:24

really go there to get top grades I went

play43:25

there to learn about economics and to

play43:27

help build the work that I'm doing now

play43:29

and there were kids there you know 22 23

play43:32

that beat me in the first year exams I

play43:34

wasn't even really studying to be honest

play43:36

but there was this little part of me

play43:37

this little voice in the back of my head

play43:38

that was like those guys you're

play43:40

better than

play43:42

them you know I'm older now so you know

play43:44

I know that voice and I sat down and

play43:45

said listen it's all right their kids

play43:48

they need those grades you don't need

play43:49

the grades just let him get the grades

play43:51

you do you um but you know I still I

play43:54

still struggle to find like life work

play43:56

balance you know I run my YouTube I run

play43:59

all the social media Instagram Tik Tok I

play44:01

wrote this book I put a lot of my life

play44:03

into that book we're doing a ton of

play44:05

interviews we're doing a ton of like a

play44:07

ton of media publicity I want the book

play44:09

to do really well um you know even now I

play44:12

find myself falling into them habits of

play44:14

like I work too hard and I don't give

play44:16

myself enough time for me um but now I'm

play44:20

aware that I'm doing it and you know the

play44:22

book's coming out very very soon so I

play44:24

want to give it a big push now and and

play44:26

really care about the YouTube but I know

play44:28

now to take time off and take time for

play44:30

me as well but you know somebody said to

play44:32

me once like you changing life but all

play44:34

of those younger versions of you they

play44:36

still exist inside you you know they're

play44:38

still there and you need to take care of

play44:40

them so I think like those weaknesses

play44:43

and those sort of mental problems I've

play44:45

had when I was younger they're still

play44:46

there but I'm older now I like to think

play44:48

I'm Wiser and and I know how to take

play44:50

care of them and you know I think my my

play44:54

mental health is getting better I feel

play44:55

like in I'm in a a much better place

play44:56

than I was when I was younger but you

play44:57

know the problems don't just go away but

play44:59

you know we learn ways to deal with them

play45:01

and I know I know the signs and I know

play45:03

the things to do I know to reach out to

play45:05

people I know to sort of let people in I

play45:07

know to like step back from work and do

play45:10

you rest you know do you you make

play45:12

yourself rest sometimes now a lot more

play45:15

than I did yeah I haven't had as much

play45:17

rest recently as maybe I should have

play45:18

done but you know when the book's out

play45:20

and there's I'll take a bit of time to

play45:21

come and I I travel a bit I go and step

play45:23

away and yeah I rest well I'm getting

play45:26

older so I have to rest a bit more than

play45:27

I used let me ask you despite everything

play45:29

that you've come to uh feel about the

play45:32

work you used to do and the way the

play45:33

economy works is there ever a point at

play45:36

which you see something in the news

play45:39

right or an event going on in the

play45:42

economy and a part of your brain just

play45:46

tells you how you could make a million

play45:48

quid out of that that day if you wanted

play45:50

it never stops never stops I still tra

play45:53

trade for a long time but now I tra that

play45:55

when I say this I would like to be clear

play45:57

trading is very dangerous I know a lot

play45:59

of young men have had a lot of problems

play46:00

with dangerous with with trading so if

play46:01

anyone's going to do it be very careful

play46:03

but you know I was the best Trader in

play46:05

the world for one of the world's biggest

play46:06

banks you know what I mean um and I see

play46:09

the world in that way you know that's

play46:11

how I see the world

play46:13

um I can't change that that's what I am

play46:16

but but what I do now is I don't just

play46:18

bet on it I go out on my YouTube and I

play46:21

tell people what's gonna happen you know

play46:22

what I mean right yeah so you know you

play46:26

know why why is why is Messi still

play46:28

playing football because he Lov

play46:30

it and he's good at it you know I wish I

play46:32

was as good as Messi at football but I'm

play46:33

not but what I am good at is trading and

play46:35

economics but I don't do it just for me

play46:37

now you know the YouTube is there it's

play46:39

free anyone who wants to understand

play46:40

what's happening it's there and I'm

play46:42

doing my bit and you know I think I

play46:45

think as humans you know we have the

play46:47

capacity to to be selfish and take care

play46:50

of ourselves whilst also caring about

play46:53

others and helping others you know I

play46:54

don't think we need to choose you know I

play46:56

still trade I still make money I don't

play46:57

think those are bad things to do but at

play46:59

the same time I work hard and I do my

play47:02

bit to try and fix the problems we have

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in society and I think you know I I like

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to think I have enough space in my heart

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both for myself and for the people

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around me and for the people of this

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country and for the people of the world

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and you know I think we all do you know

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you don't have to choose between being

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selfish and caring for others you know

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we're big enough to do both and I think

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that's what you need to do to be to be a

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complete person I

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think Gary it's fascinating listening

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about your life and you're an

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inspirational guy um and you know just

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incredible things that you've done and

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incredible stuff that you've written in

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this book so my advice is to everyone to

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go out and buy it it's incredible read

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and I'm very grateful for your time

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today Gary cheers that's right thanks to

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much Sam nice to meet you that was Gary

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Stevenson his new book is called the

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trading game a confession and it's

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published on March 5th you can check out

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his incredibly informative videos on the

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economy and how it works over on his

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YouTube YouTube channel which is called

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Gary's economics I can highly recommend

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that thanks for listening to the Pod as

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always if you don't already do so please

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subscribe to the reset at Sand delaney.

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substat do.com you'll get this podcast

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free and also regular newsletters and

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bonus pods too thanks for listening as

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always gang and until next time be lucky

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and don't let the get you

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down